- 2 days ago
Perfect Boyfriend HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00excuse me but you look familiar i'm sorry what do you work in the veterinary office
00:00:08oh that's got to be it you look so familiar i'm betty and and my poodle's name is misty
00:00:16the teacup black one no i'm sorry betty i'm a writer maybe you've read one of my books
00:00:21oh what's your name i write under the pen name mercedes lee love letter is it christian romance
00:00:27no is it amish oh how i love those amish novels definitely not amish
00:00:37are you writing now yes may i see i'm afraid i don't let anyone see my work in progress
00:00:44needs an editor's touch oh you were in here yesterday too right and the day before
00:00:49okay what's the problem did management send you in here oh no no i i'm just the baker
00:01:00betty the baker you do the cookies yes i make the cookies the scones holy cow those scones are
00:01:08delish do you really think so oh yes have you tried the danishes i haven't seen the danishes
00:01:13i usually get here around 10 they must be gone by 10. oh well that's a good sign i think so too
00:01:20good for you betty well how many days have you been in here is there something terribly wrong with
00:01:27your car i bet they could get you a rental actually i'm not really a writer betty can you keep a secret
00:01:36i'm here with corporate we've been worried about the service in this branch so they sent me here to
00:01:42scope things out for a few weeks well i've never heard any complaints before but you wouldn't it's all
00:01:47very internal but i'm gonna need you to keep my presence here quiet that's okay mom's the word
00:01:55thank you for your discretion we aren't worried about you at all hi dean kade i don't need an oil
00:02:21change yes but you're my friend and you'll do anything for me i need your car so i don't blow my
00:02:27cover i lied to an old lady i'm in deep this is so desperate it doesn't matter what matters is that
00:02:35i've got my writing mojo back and i'm not giving it up please why don't you just find a back entrance
00:02:43instead of borrowing every neighbor's car you never thought of that this deadline has me freaked out
00:02:51okay no whatever wait you don't need my car no
00:03:21okay
00:03:31so
00:03:33so
00:03:35Oh, shit.
00:04:05Are you okay?
00:04:07Oh, my God, my computer.
00:04:12Okay, it's not cracked, but will it boot?
00:04:16Oh, rookie mistake.
00:04:17This is what I get for not backing it up.
00:04:20Oh, okay.
00:04:24Whew.
00:04:27Hey.
00:04:30Are you hurt?
00:04:33Huh?
00:04:48You, uh, you work here?
00:04:52I do.
00:04:54I'm a mechanic.
00:04:56Were you getting a service?
00:05:01Yes.
00:05:02Then what brings you back here?
00:05:05Completed cars are out front.
00:05:07These back doors are the employee entrance.
00:05:09Right.
00:05:10I, um, was coming out for a smoke.
00:05:14Great.
00:05:15Can I bum one?
00:05:17Weren't you just fake-smoking licorice?
00:05:20You saw that?
00:05:22Yes.
00:05:23Before my triumphant fall, I saw something that looked like a make-believe cloud of cherry smoke floating all around you.
00:05:30I quit smoking three months ago.
00:05:34And licorice helps.
00:05:35Doesn't hurt.
00:05:36Maybe it hurts the ego.
00:05:38How macho is it to fake smoke candy?
00:05:41My ego is never in danger, babe.
00:05:44Well, with book boyfriend arms like that, it's no wonder.
00:05:48Book boyfriend?
00:05:49Book boyfriend.
00:05:51The leading man in a romance novel that readers claim ownership of because he doesn't likely exist in the real world.
00:05:58Basically, the ideal man.
00:06:00I haven't heard of that before.
00:06:02I take it you're into books or something?
00:06:05Or something.
00:06:08And it doesn't surprise me you've never heard of it.
00:06:12You're not my demo.
00:06:15What if you're my demo?
00:06:24Well, we won't know that until the end.
00:06:39Fessa, where have you been?
00:06:41The library, like I told you in my text.
00:06:44Bullshit.
00:06:47You smell like coffee and rubber.
00:06:49It's known as freedom.
00:06:51You actually went back to the tire depot.
00:06:54Kate, come on.
00:06:55They are going to call the cops on you.
00:06:56For what?
00:06:57Stealing complimentary coffee and cookies?
00:06:59Come on.
00:07:00That's not a thing.
00:07:01But loitering is.
00:07:04You think they'd really do that?
00:07:07Anyway, I found a back entrance.
00:07:10No more borrowing cars.
00:07:11Oh, that's even better.
00:07:13You're skulking in and out of side entrances.
00:07:15Brilliant.
00:07:16I don't care, Lindsay.
00:07:17I found my words at the TD.
00:07:19And I'm not letting go until I'm done.
00:07:21The TD?
00:07:22Tiger Depot.
00:07:23It's such a mouthful.
00:07:24You know what's a mouthful?
00:07:26Risen.
00:07:27This is a crutch, Kate.
00:07:29You've got to see that.
00:07:31Who cares?
00:07:32I couldn't write a thing before I went there.
00:07:34And writing is what keeps me in this posh townhouse on the outskirts of beautiful Boulder.
00:07:39If I want to continue being this stunning creature living the high life, I have to follow the vibe.
00:07:43And the vibe is strong at Tire Depot.
00:07:47Can we stop dancing around what's really going on here?
00:07:49Watch yourself.
00:07:50That is luxury reclaimed Barnwood.
00:07:53This is about your ex?
00:07:56Who happens to still live with you?
00:07:58He's gone for the summer.
00:08:00That is hardly living together.
00:08:02And as soon as he gets back, I'm not budging.
00:08:04We're playing this game of chicken and there's no way I'm letting that entitled fucker take this house.
00:08:09So even though you can't write in it, you want to fight for the house with no vibe?
00:08:14That's irrelevant.
00:08:15There's no way in hell I'm moving.
00:08:17I have to write a follow-up bestseller.
00:08:20That is no small feat.
00:08:22I live next door to my best friend.
00:08:24You don't want me to move out, do you?
00:08:26No.
00:08:29What?
00:08:30It looks like a letter from Tire Depot.
00:08:32They figured it out?
00:08:33Stop being so dramatic.
00:08:35Have they ever mailed you something before?
00:08:36No.
00:08:37Oh my god, what if this is the moment I feared?
00:08:40They might be taking my mojo away.
00:08:42Dear Miss Smith, we have taken notice of your enjoyment of our customer waiting area.
00:08:47Read it.
00:08:49An invoice for refreshments?
00:08:52Holy shit!
00:08:53How do they know?
00:08:55What?
00:08:56$180 for lattes and cookies.
00:08:58Kate, how many did you eat?
00:09:00I don't eat lunch.
00:09:02Wait a damn minute.
00:09:05What?
00:09:06This has danishes here.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:08I have never had a danish there in my life.
00:09:10You haven't.
00:09:11I'm being pumped.
00:09:16Dean.
00:09:25Okay, here's the plan.
00:09:26I'm gonna kneel here.
00:09:27You knock on the door.
00:09:28When he opens it, jump punch.
00:09:31Kate!
00:09:33What if he didn't do it?
00:09:34I mean, that's so extreme.
00:09:36Surely he has a punch to the balls out coming for something.
00:09:39He's a mountain man whore.
00:09:40They always have it coming.
00:09:43Why are you so mature?
00:09:45You're a dick.
00:09:46And I know that fake invoice was from you.
00:09:51Nice to see you too, Kate.
00:09:56Just be grateful she didn't junk punch you.
00:09:58I saved you from that.
00:10:00Thanks, Linz.
00:10:01Mm-hmm.
00:10:02How'd you know it was me?
00:10:05The letterhead was too perfect.
00:10:07And I know you know how to use Photoshop.
00:10:10You should try to suck more.
00:10:12Oh, that is the first time I've heard that.
00:10:14You should have seen her, Dane.
00:10:16I thought she was going to start crying when she saw that letterhead.
00:10:19Look, I tried to get you to come check out my coworking space.
00:10:22We've got coffee and donuts there too, you know?
00:10:24Eh, those aren't my people.
00:10:26Not my vibe.
00:10:28And your vibe is this tire shop.
00:10:31You gotta see it to believe it, man.
00:10:33If you find your vibe somewhere, you have to fight for it.
00:10:37Tire Depot is to me what Fanny Braun was to John Keats.
00:10:41Poetry in motion, man.
00:10:43Okay, you sound like a lunatic.
00:10:46What if you could work better and faster elsewhere?
00:10:49You'd have more time to hike, bang chicks, prank your friends,
00:10:55buy more plaid trousers.
00:10:57Oh, you been noticing my slacks, Kate?
00:10:59No, and don't change the subject.
00:11:02I feel like a fucking champion when I'm blasting out words
00:11:05and sitting next to some gal who's wasting her life on social media.
00:11:09It's a real morale boost for Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:12And I still can't believe you hit a bestseller list with that pen name.
00:11:15My readers get me.
00:11:17They'd have to.
00:11:19So you're going back there tomorrow?
00:11:20Hells yeah.
00:11:21This smut won't write itself.
00:11:23I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:31Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:32I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:38Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:39Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:41I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:46Claim it now or it's going in the trash.
00:11:47I'm Mercedes.
00:11:48I've been calling your name for like five minutes.
00:11:49Well, I didn't order a pizza.
00:11:50I don't care.
00:11:51Fucking whore.
00:11:52I'm trying to keep a low profile.
00:11:53Everyone is staring at me.
00:11:54I'm fucking mortified.
00:11:55I'm fucking mortified.
00:11:56Laughing.
00:11:57So.
00:11:58I'm trying to keep a low profile.
00:12:02Laughing so fucking hard.
00:12:03You interrupted my anal scene.
00:12:04I was in the zone.
00:12:05I'm fucking mortified.
00:12:06Laughing so fucking hard.
00:12:09I'm laughing so fucking hard.
00:12:26I was in the zone.
00:12:31the zone. Wheezing on the floor. How do you have time for this? Don't you have a book to write?
00:12:43Oh, best 53 bucks I ever spent.
00:13:01You're back.
00:13:10I had an issue with one of my tires. Which car? I drive the Cadillac SRX. A Cadillac? Isn't that kind of an old lady car? It is not an old lady car. It is a luxury SUV and it is wonderful. Well, if you have that kind of money, you should look into a Lexus.
00:13:31Or a BMW. Much more sexy feel to the body. Maybe I don't want a sexy body feel. What's your name? My name is Mercedes. That's perfect. You'd look damn fine in a Mercedes. What do you drive? An Indian motorcycle. Why am I not surprised? Am I that predictable? More predictable than my old lady car.
00:14:01Well, it's nice to officially meet you Mercedes. I'm Miles Hudson. Now tell me why you're really here. Would some leftover pizza keep you quiet? I might buy you some time.
00:14:16Time is all I need. You're serious. Super serious. Very well, Mercedes. I'll leave you be. For now. See you around the water cooler, Miles.
00:14:29You haven't noticed that hot redhead in the comfort center, have you?
00:14:48Nope.
00:14:49Was she there today?
00:14:51Yeah. And yesterday.
00:14:53What was she doing?
00:14:54Just on her computer.
00:14:58So she's safe and ain't free Wi-Fi. Call the cops. We got a mooch on our hands.
00:15:03I don't get a mooch vibe from her. Mostly feels like... desperation.
00:15:10Hmm. Now it all makes sense. You have a fetish for desperate girls, bro.
00:15:15I do not.
00:15:17Yes, you do. You like to save them. Be the gallant protector. Sweeps in. Guards them.
00:15:24This girl does not need saving.
00:15:26So...
00:15:27She's nothing like Jocelyn?
00:15:30Dude, I'm done with Jocelyn. Can we please stop talking about her?
00:15:34Miles, you got dumped by your longtime sweetheart for some rich, ugly prick.
00:15:39That shit...
00:15:41Sticks with you forever.
00:15:43What a sausage fest.
00:15:45Why do we live here again?
00:15:47Uh...
00:15:47Because my uncle's the manager.
00:15:49And no other boss would put up with our shit.
00:15:52And maybe that.
00:15:55Oh.
00:15:56Definitely that.
00:15:57Don't you give me a damn to me.
00:16:27I'm gonna close up tonight, okay?
00:16:45Hey, Red?
00:16:50Mercedes?
00:16:58Shit, did I bust out?
00:17:00Yeah. Have you fainted before?
00:17:03Only when I don't eat.
00:17:05Why didn't you have a cookie or something?
00:17:09I feel bad eating all the cookies.
00:17:12Betty worked so hard on them.
00:17:15It's bad enough that I drink all the coffee.
00:17:18What's wrong?
00:17:20No one ever tells her how good those cookies are.
00:17:23I got here early so that I could try her danishes.
00:17:28And they were already gone.
00:17:30How crazy is that?
00:17:32Betty has to get up so early to make them fresh every day and then people just gobble them up in seconds.
00:17:39I wonder if anyone appreciates her in her life.
00:17:43Do you know if she's married?
00:17:45Do you know if she's married?
00:17:48Betty gets a hug for me every time I see her.
00:17:52The guys here love her baked goods.
00:17:55Really?
00:17:57Really.
00:17:59That's really sweet. I'm sorry.
00:18:01I get emotional when I'm hungry.
00:18:04You know how some people get hangry, I get amongry?
00:18:08Emotional and hungry?
00:18:09It's a thing.
00:18:10I got them to add it to Urban Dictionary.
00:18:14Well, let's get you something to eat then.
00:18:16Like pizza, not cookies.
00:18:18I love pizza.
00:18:19I know.
00:18:20I saw your shirt the other day.
00:18:22With the pizza?
00:18:23I love that shirt.
00:18:27Oh my god.
00:18:29I am probably bugging you.
00:18:33No, you're not.
00:18:34Please, I practically just fainted in your arms.
00:18:39We could not get any more book worthy if we tried.
00:18:42Mercedes, this isn't the first time I've had a girl faint at the side of me.
00:18:49Just feed me before you start reciting any more cheesy romance novel lines.
00:19:04I had to kill a guy for these.
00:19:06I hope you didn't get blood on them.
00:19:19Jesus, now what?
00:19:21Oh, come on, there was nothing sexy about that.
00:19:24I just stuffed my face with a breadstick.
00:19:29So, what are you so busy doing everyday that you forget to eat?
00:19:34All I can say is that I was in the zone.
00:19:38You need to drink water.
00:19:41On a day that you didn't faint into my arms, you could have a beer first.
00:19:44But please, for my own sanity, will you drink some water first?
00:20:00Now, tell me what you're doing everyday.
00:20:04Think of this as a safe space.
00:20:08Nothing will be held against you.
00:20:12And you've been doing this for over three weeks now?
00:20:15Basically.
00:20:17But why won't you tell me what you're writing?
00:20:20Because it weirds people out.
00:20:21I won't judge.
00:20:23You'll judge.
00:20:25Well, if you tell me you're writing the next Game of Thrones, we'll basically have to get married and live happily ever after.
00:20:31It's not the next Game of Thrones, but thank you for the most romantic proposal I've ever received.
00:20:38You get a lot of proposals?
00:20:41Yeah.
00:20:44Only from guys with issues.
00:20:46I don't have issues.
00:20:49Where were you born?
00:20:51Utah.
00:20:53What brought you here?
00:20:56Tech school.
00:20:58Did you know anyone when you moved out here?
00:21:01I followed this girl.
00:21:03What was she like?
00:21:06I don't want to talk about her.
00:21:08Yikes.
00:21:10Did I just stumble on a sore spot?
00:21:11Say the word and I'll stop.
00:21:12Word.
00:21:13Got it.
00:21:14No ex-girlfriend talk.
00:21:16I mean, I'm over her, but I just don't like to think about her.
00:21:20I totally get it.
00:21:22Douchebag ex-boyfriend over here.
00:21:24True.
00:21:30So what do you do when you're not working?
00:21:33I like to ride my motorcycle, hike, read. Occasionally I go to the lake.
00:21:41Hmm. Cool. Well, I'll make sure to go shopping for my Harley this weekend.
00:21:46You do that.
00:21:48Come on, let's get you back to the shop before I start boring you with why you should get an Indian instead of a Harley.
00:21:54Oof.
00:21:55Mechanic talk.
00:21:56Sounds kinky.
00:22:17Sex appeal isn't created in a fancy gym with weights and treadmills.
00:22:30It's born in powerful grungy garages where men, real fucking men, work with their hands.
00:22:47Another week of work down. You look hyper focused.
00:23:07Yeah. I, um, I got a new book idea today.
00:23:12Any big plans for the weekend?
00:23:14My buddy and I might go to the Golden Gate Park tomorrow.
00:23:18We try to camp and hit this great hiking trail there every summer.
00:23:21Sounds fun.
00:23:23Super masculine.
00:23:26What about you?
00:23:28Oh, I will probably do some more writing.
00:23:31Sounds exciting.
00:23:33Oh, it is.
00:23:35Well, you have a good weekend.
00:23:37I have no idea why I just kissed you on the cheek.
00:23:44That was really inappropriate.
00:23:45No worries here.
00:23:47Endless dirty thoughts live rent free in my mind.
00:23:51I swear I'm usually a lot smoother than this.
00:23:54Don't worry. Your book boyfriend status is still very much secure.
00:23:58See you Monday, Mercedes.
00:24:02See you at the coffee machine.
00:24:07Cheers, buddy. Cheers.
00:24:09What are you waiting for, bro?
00:24:10She tells you she has dirty thoughts and you don't think, yeah, I'm gonna tap her.
00:24:25Nah, she's too cool for a random hookup.
00:24:27Then I'd have to see her every day in the comfort center.
00:24:30It would be awkward.
00:24:31Wait, you just don't go in there anymore after you bang her.
00:24:34Boom. Problem solved.
00:24:36Two.
00:24:38I like seeing her.
00:24:43Oh my gosh, thank you.
00:24:48Is that that same red hat?
00:24:52Yeah.
00:24:57I'll visit you in jail.
00:24:58What?
00:24:59Yeah, when you get arrested for killing that guy, I will visit you in jail.
00:25:06Dude, I thought you were just friends with this girl.
00:25:09I am.
00:25:11Wouldn't fucking cool it, bro.
00:25:14Hey, Miles.
00:25:16Hey, Mercedes.
00:25:18Fancy seeing you here.
00:25:20Thought you were going camping.
00:25:23I thought you were riding.
00:25:25Girl needs a break sometimes.
00:25:26I'll find a coffee shop tomorrow.
00:25:30This is my buddy Sam.
00:25:33Hey.
00:25:35Nice to meet you.
00:25:36Hi.
00:25:37Mercedes.
00:25:38Right, Mercedes.
00:25:41Well, I will...
00:25:43Can I buy you a drink?
00:25:45Drink sounds good.
00:25:47Uh, here.
00:25:48Take my spot.
00:25:49I'm gonna go say hi to a friend.
00:25:50He's the DJ tonight.
00:25:52Thanks.
00:25:54Nice to meet you.
00:25:55Yeah, you too.
00:25:59What's your poison?
00:26:00Miles.
00:26:01Mercedes.
00:26:02Why haven't you asked me to hang out again since we had pizza together?
00:26:17Tire Depot seems safer.
00:26:19Tire Depot seems safer.
00:26:21Safer.
00:26:24Meaning that I won't run into you and break my computer again?
00:26:29Something like that.
00:26:32So what are your plans really tonight?
00:26:34Are you just hanging out with Sam?
00:26:36Or are you guys on the hunt?
00:26:38On the hunt?
00:26:39Her tail.
00:26:42A one night stand that gets really awkward in the morning because she wants to make you pancakes.
00:26:47But you would rather chew your arm off and sneak out before she wakes up.
00:26:51Something like that.
00:26:54I could tell that about you.
00:26:56How?
00:26:58It's my business.
00:27:02So, what's your type?
00:27:04Draws your eye. What are we working with here?
00:27:07I don't know.
00:27:10Brunettes, I guess.
00:27:14My ex was a blonde.
00:27:16No more blondes.
00:27:17Brunettes it is.
00:27:19Let's see.
00:27:21Not my friend Lindsay.
00:27:23She already dated my friend Dean and it was so awkward for months after.
00:27:29What about her?
00:27:32Nah, I try to avoid packs.
00:27:34There's always one friend who cock blocks.
00:27:36One friend who tries to steal the guy.
00:27:37And one friend who slut shames the other two.
00:27:40Man.
00:27:42Girls can be mean.
00:27:44You're telling me.
00:27:47What about you?
00:27:49Why aren't you on the hunt?
00:27:51You said you're over your ex, right?
00:27:53Oh, I totally am.
00:27:55He is vile.
00:27:56And your friend Dean isn't a prospect.
00:28:01No way.
00:28:02He is my neighbor.
00:28:03And he reminds me of my brother.
00:28:05Uh-huh.
00:28:08You know what? You're right, Miles.
00:28:09I should totally find a random hookup tonight.
00:28:12Well, I never said anything about random.
00:28:14Well, you're doing it, so why can't I?
00:28:16You don't seem like the random type.
00:28:19Well, maybe I should be.
00:28:20Can I tell you a secret, Miles?
00:28:37You can tell me anything, Mercedes.
00:28:39My writing makes me horny.
00:28:45I'm sorry, what?
00:28:48I'm serious.
00:28:50I have a sex toy that works really fast and really well.
00:28:53But sometimes I just miss the heat of a man, you know?
00:28:58Not really.
00:29:00I'm the heat of a woman.
00:29:01You know what I'm talking about?
00:29:04The heat.
00:29:07You might have to elaborate.
00:29:09With great detail.
00:29:11You asked for it.
00:29:15The heat of a woman is so much more than temperature.
00:29:22It's her soft, sensual curves.
00:29:25The way that your fingers dig into the meat of her thighs
00:29:28when she's wrapped around you.
00:29:30The delicate little bumps on her ribcage
00:29:33when she's throwing her head back in pleasure.
00:29:36Tight little nipples
00:29:38and pillows of creamy softness.
00:29:41The fact that you could fold your body
00:29:44around her and envelop her almost entirely
00:29:48and still want more.
00:29:54That kind of heat.
00:29:59You're totally right, Veronica.
00:30:00You're totally right, Veronica.
00:30:04Damn it!
00:30:06I didn't want you to know.
00:30:08Why not?
00:30:09What's the big secret?
00:30:11Because it'll change the way that you look at me.
00:30:14How so?
00:30:16You'll either think that I'm some kind of sex freak,
00:30:18or you'll be embarrassed by what I do
00:30:21and not want to tell anyone.
00:30:22Are you joking?
00:30:24Well, your buddy doesn't count.
00:30:25He's probably a hornball.
00:30:27I mean anyone that is important to you.
00:30:32It's a big reason why my ex and I broke up.
00:30:34He asked me to lie to his family about what I did for a living.
00:30:38What a fucker.
00:30:40Yes.
00:30:42But I write some really kinky shit.
00:30:44It's not exactly easy to tell your grandma about.
00:30:46I would tell my grandma about you.
00:30:49You would not.
00:30:51I fucking would.
00:30:53Grandmas hate me.
00:30:54My grandma hates me.
00:30:56She's really religious and every time that I come home
00:30:58she tries to arrange for a meeting with me and her priest.
00:31:01She thinks that I need an intervention or an exorcism or something.
00:31:05I'm sorry, that's not funny.
00:31:06That's not funny.
00:31:07It's kind of funny.
00:31:12Come with me.
00:31:18Where are we going?
00:31:19Calling my grandma.
00:31:20No, Miles, are you insane?
00:31:21It's after midnight.
00:31:22She loves me.
00:31:23I'm her favorite.
00:31:25Okay, okay.
00:31:26We'll call my sister.
00:31:27Miles, what are you doing?
00:31:29Too late.
00:31:33Hello?
00:31:34Meg?
00:31:35I want to ask you a question.
00:31:38Why is it so loud?
00:31:39Miles, how is it possible for you to call for me from 500 miles away?
00:31:44Big brother intuition.
00:31:45Just ask me a question.
00:31:47Okay, so I met this girl.
00:31:48She's super fucking hot.
00:31:50Gross, Miles.
00:31:51Sorry, okay.
00:31:52So she writes sexy books.
00:31:54Like, that's her job.
00:31:56Dirty, kinky shit, I think.
00:31:58And she was saying that grandmothers hated her.
00:31:59And I said our grandma would be totally into it.
00:32:02True or false?
00:32:04Duh, Grams is a freak.
00:32:05Totally true.
00:32:11So, who is this girl?
00:32:13I want to read her stuff.
00:32:15I'll find out.
00:32:17But I'll call you back, mate.
00:32:19Don't fuck that dude tonight.
00:32:20What happened?
00:32:24What did I say?
00:32:25What are we doing?
00:32:27I don't know.
00:32:28I just kissed you, I guess.
00:32:30Yes, you did.
00:32:31And as hot as that was, we have to stop.
00:32:34Right.
00:32:35We're in public.
00:32:38I like you, Mercedes, but I'm not in the position to like someone right now.
00:32:43Wait, what?
00:32:45After everything that you just said with your sister?
00:32:53Got it.
00:32:54Well, I'm sorry to put you through such a difficult situation.
00:32:57Mercedes, wait.
00:32:59I don't want things to be weird.
00:33:02Well, you shouldn't have flirted with me then.
00:33:05See you around, Miles.
00:33:14Why are you here?
00:33:20Oh, my God.
00:33:21What is that horrible smell?
00:33:24It's nothing.
00:33:26Wait, wait.
00:33:27Is that a tire-scented candle?
00:33:29No.
00:33:31Stop it!
00:33:32You're going to make me so whack so much more!
00:33:34Let go so I can see what you're hiding!
00:33:37Kate!
00:33:38Hello?
00:33:39Don't stop on my account.
00:33:45Oh, my God.
00:33:46Burnt, rubber-scented soy candle?
00:33:48Uh-uh.
00:33:49Can you believe this is a thing?
00:33:51Jesus, H.
00:33:52You got it bad, Kate.
00:33:54I know!
00:33:55Can't write a damn word, and all I want to do is go back to Tire Depot.
00:33:59Then go!
00:34:01So you kissed him and he turned you down?
00:34:03Big deal!
00:34:05What, are you in the seventh grade?
00:34:07Go back to the Tire Depot!
00:34:08She has a point, Kate.
00:34:09It'll be awkward for a day.
00:34:10Three tops.
00:34:11He'll probably stay in the garage and ignore you.
00:34:14You're right.
00:34:17My house smells like shit now, too.
00:34:21Fine.
00:34:23I'll go back.
00:34:24But only because burnt rubber is not the same as new rubber.
00:34:26So we rotate and balance the wires.
00:34:27But the rattling sound that you were hearing is, uh,
00:34:31completely, uh, not remotely.
00:34:32So there's two of them.
00:34:33So there's two of them.
00:34:34So there's two of them.
00:34:35I'll leave.
00:34:36I'll leave.
00:34:37Uh, not remotely.
00:34:38So there's two of them.
00:34:39Okay.
00:34:40Yeah.
00:34:41Too many buttons goes into it.
00:34:42So there's two of them.
00:34:43Then attach your headphones to the tight side, too.
00:34:44Let me put them in.
00:34:46Oh, my.
00:34:47Oh, my!
00:34:48Let's get down!
00:34:49Talk to you soon.
00:34:51Watch out!
00:34:53Go straight!
00:34:56Go straight!
00:34:58Phyeleon ì•„ë¹´
00:35:01how's the book coming coming along this is the point in the story where I rip the couple apart
00:35:21and ruin everything they thought they knew about each other ouch can't they just be happy
00:35:27what's dramatic about happy my readers like the pain the torture makes the makeup sex that much
00:35:36better you know my sister texted me she asked for your full author name so she could look you up
00:35:44really I warned you we are a family full of readers you're gonna laugh I was drunk when I
00:35:56came up with it my full pen name is Mercedes Lee love letter what's your real last name it's Smith
00:36:11also I write a lot of BDSM so does this mean we don't have to be awkward yeah friends
00:36:26good because as a friend I was wondering if you might be able to help me with some research for
00:36:33my next book what did you have in mind you're gonna throw your leg over but don't let your
00:36:39ankles touch this area here got it it'll make me feel better if you wear it it'll protect you a little
00:36:51okay get on
00:36:58okay you ready ready
00:37:13chika chika chika chika chika boom
00:37:22yeah
00:37:26chika chika chika chika chika chika boom
00:37:30boom
00:37:36Chica-chica-chica-bum
00:37:42Chica-chica-chica
00:37:44Ta-ra-ra-ra-bum-die-ay
00:37:48Ta-ra-ra-ra-bum-die-ay
00:37:51Chica-chica-chica-chica-bum-die-ay
00:37:53Ta-ra-ra-ra-bum-die-ay
00:37:55Chica-chica-chica-chica-bum
00:37:57I thought that was incredible.
00:38:03You weren't scared?
00:38:04No. Was I supposed to be?
00:38:05My ex hated this thing.
00:38:07Your ex is a fool.
00:38:09I mean, I understand that motorcycles are dangerous,
00:38:12but the danger is what makes it exciting.
00:38:14You took the words right out of my mouth.
00:38:17Unfortunately, my ex liked a different kind of danger.
00:38:21Do you want to tell me what you mean by that,
00:38:23or do you want to say a word again?
00:38:26My ex loved the cheating kind of danger.
00:38:30Yikes.
00:38:33It wasn't just one guy.
00:38:34That's the hardest part.
00:38:36How you can bald-faced lie to someone you care about,
00:38:39that's not the fun kind of danger for me.
00:38:42Not at all.
00:38:45I'm so sorry.
00:38:47It's fine.
00:38:48I blame myself for not walking away sooner.
00:38:52She made me a jealous head case with baggage for days.
00:38:57Yeah.
00:38:58Jealousy is the worst.
00:39:00Although, I will tell you, from a writer's standpoint,
00:39:04readers love a possessive man.
00:39:06Is that right?
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08So I should be thanking my ex for making me
00:39:09a possessive asshole?
00:39:10God, no.
00:39:11She sounds like too much of an asshole
00:39:13to get any credit for the man you are today.
00:39:17Well, your ex sounded like an asshole, too.
00:39:19I still can't believe he made you lie about your job
00:39:21to his family.
00:39:22Right?
00:39:24Why did we ever date them?
00:39:26I ask myself that all the time.
00:39:34I guess you could say that if we didn't go through all that,
00:39:37then we might not be here, enjoying this awesome view.
00:39:40You're missing something really beautiful.
00:39:45No, I'm not.
00:39:47I can't figure you out, Miles.
00:39:54I can't figure me out, either.
00:39:57How's it going?
00:40:14No way.
00:40:15You just finished?
00:40:15I just finished.
00:40:19Congratulations, Mercedes.
00:40:21Good night done without you, Miles.
00:40:23We should celebrate.
00:40:24Buy you a drink?
00:40:25Actually, I'm having a little The End party
00:40:28at my house on Friday.
00:40:30Wanna come by?
00:40:32I'd love to.
00:40:34Great.
00:40:43Don't forget to call me Mercedes tonight.
00:40:45Mercedes!
00:40:46Woo!
00:40:47Say hi, everyone!
00:40:49Woo!
00:40:50Mercedes is doing a keg stand
00:40:52to celebrate finishing her book!
00:40:54What?
00:40:55No way!
00:40:56Mercedes is not doing a keg stand
00:40:57because he made me buy that shitty IPA.
00:40:59Mercedes likes light beer and complimentary coffee
00:41:03and riding sex pants!
00:41:04Yeah!
00:41:05Woo!
00:41:06And horns those waltzons!
00:41:08Yeah!
00:41:10And a formal scene where a guy takes off a girl's panties
00:41:13and fingers them in his tuxedo pocket all night long!
00:41:16I was really specific for YOU!
00:41:18I'm going to go get a drink.
00:41:31Uh...
00:41:31I'm gonna follow that guy.
00:41:34I'm going to follow that guy.
00:41:37I'm Lindsay.
00:41:39Best friend and neighbor.
00:41:42There's my tiki bar over there.
00:41:44Can I get you something to drink?
00:41:46I'm Miles. Thanks. I'm good for now.
00:41:48Okay. I'm going to follow those guys.
00:41:51Bye.
00:41:54Can we go somewhere and talk?
00:41:58Sure.
00:42:04You have a roommate?
00:42:15Kind of.
00:42:17So it's a guy?
00:42:19Yes.
00:42:22Figures.
00:42:24It's not that Dean guy, right?
00:42:26You said he's your neighbor?
00:42:27He is my neighbor. It's not Dean.
00:42:30Then who is it?
00:42:32No one.
00:42:35I'm sorry. I should just go.
00:42:37My roommate, uh, is gay.
00:42:42Seriously?
00:42:45And he's out of town for the summer, so...
00:42:49Why are you acting like this?
00:42:54I thought you only wanted to be friends.
00:42:55It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
00:43:09What can I do to help?
00:43:16I'm overprotective.
00:43:17I'm overbearing.
00:43:19Arrogant.
00:43:19Okay.
00:43:20Pretty much everything I do is in the extreme.
00:43:22I try not to be jealous. I do.
00:43:25She...
00:43:25I'm not her.
00:43:26I know you're not her.
00:43:28I just really need you to not do things to make me jealous.
00:43:32Why?
00:43:34Because it'll make me want to fuck you so you don't ever want to look at another guy again.
00:43:43Prove it.
00:43:43I hope you know what you're asking for, Ed.
00:43:50Mercedes.
00:44:06Shirt thief.
00:44:07I've been looking for this shirt for ten minutes.
00:44:27Are you in a pancake mood, or I cut your arm off and run with?
00:44:32I could eat.
00:44:34Go sit down.
00:44:37I feel like I need to tell you that I didn't come here last night to do that.
00:44:58Okay.
00:44:59I mean, don't get me wrong.
00:45:02It was really good.
00:45:03Fucking great, actually.
00:45:04It was, wasn't it?
00:45:05But, I just want you to know that wasn't my plan.
00:45:10Is this the part where you tell me that you're not in a position to like someone again?
00:45:16Maybe.
00:45:17That's fine.
00:45:21It is?
00:45:23This is no big deal, Miles.
00:45:25We had sex.
00:45:27You didn't ask me to go study.
00:45:28I'm not getting this twisted up.
00:45:34So, you're good with this?
00:45:36Just being casual?
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:40I'm a workaholic, so it's not like I have time to devote to a boyfriend.
00:45:46Though I might need your help with some book research.
00:45:52Book research?
00:45:53I thought you were done.
00:45:55Oh, how little you know about writing.
00:45:58Tire Depot was the easy stuff.
00:46:02I want help with the bedroom stuff.
00:46:05You write erotic novels.
00:46:08What more could you need to know?
00:46:09Okay.
00:46:11So, for my new book, I want to write from a dual point of view.
00:46:15So, one chapter will be in the female voice, and the next chapter will be in the male voice,
00:46:20and I'll alternate between the two.
00:46:22I know what dual point of view is, Mercedes.
00:46:25Okay.
00:46:26Sorry.
00:46:26Sorry.
00:46:28So, I'm going to need your help getting into the mind of a man.
00:46:35Should we start now?
00:46:36Well, I'd hate to see your education suffer.
00:46:42Actually, since we're sticking with this whole friends with benefits thing,
00:46:46I was wondering if you could help me with a little project first.
00:46:51Like a naked kind of project?
00:46:54I mean, you can be naked if you want to, but it might not be safe.
00:47:00Could you help me move my roommate's shit downstairs and into a moving pod?
00:47:06Absolutely.
00:47:11Friends have to earn their benefits sometimes.
00:47:15Thanks.
00:47:16Oh, my God.
00:47:17Hannah.
00:47:18I have entered into a casual friends with benefits situation with a mechanic from Tire Depot who thinks my name is Mercedes.
00:47:24Wait, this is actually happening to you, like in real life?
00:47:27Yes!
00:47:28And I like him way more than just a friend, so I'm in crisis mode.
00:47:32What do I do?
00:47:33Besides phone him every chance you get?
00:47:35Yeah, I mean, my alter ego's taking the reins here.
00:47:38I fully understand.
00:47:39And I've kind of been avoiding him this week to sort of play cool so that he doesn't know that I like him.
00:47:44Which you do.
00:47:44Yes, but I don't want him to know that.
00:47:47I mean, is this relationship worth me telling him my real name?
00:47:50Or is it just sex?
00:47:51Are you done?
00:47:52I could use some sage advice here.
00:47:54Listen to me.
00:47:56Here's what you're going to do.
00:47:57You are going to go camping.
00:48:00Camping?
00:48:01Camping.
00:48:02Why?
00:48:04Kate Outdoors, you guys love that shit.
00:48:06Just tell him it's for book research and you need his help.
00:48:08Ooh, that's good because I actually use that excuse.
00:48:11Perfect.
00:48:12You're going to be adorable and fumbling and not know how to cast a fishing pole,
00:48:17and he's going to realize how much fun it is to go camping and get to fuck in a tent.
00:48:21By the end of the trip, you'll know if you need to fish or cut bait.
00:48:24Hmm.
00:48:25You should be a writer.
00:48:26Oh.
00:48:27Hannah, this is good.
00:48:28You're a genius.
00:48:29I'm going camping.
00:48:30Just, um, let me know where I'll have the pizza delivered to.
00:48:33Ha-ha, bish.
00:48:34Hey, Kate.
00:48:35You here for a cronut?
00:48:36You know it.
00:48:37It's going to be a hot minute before the new badge is ready,
00:48:39but go ahead and take a number and we'll bring them right out.
00:48:41I'll take two and a cup of coffee.
00:48:43You got it.
00:48:48My dick misses you.
00:48:50Your dick is insatiable.
00:48:52Are you dry-hopping me?
00:48:53Uh-huh.
00:48:55Tell me what you're thinking.
00:48:57I want you naked and in a bed now.
00:49:00How are the words flowing?
00:49:02Not as good as the other night.
00:49:03You are soaking.
00:49:05You're at the bakery.
00:49:06I could think of something else I'd rather be eating.
00:49:08Let me take care of you.
00:49:10Come on, my writer.
00:49:15Feeling inspired?
00:49:175,000 words in three hours.
00:49:20It's Tire Depot magic right there.
00:49:22Maybe it's Miles Hudson magic.
00:49:32Oh, Jesus!
00:49:34Say hi, Dean.
00:49:35I was literally standing there for almost five minutes.
00:49:39I'm reading my texts.
00:49:42So, what is so important that you had to see me?
00:49:47I don't know what you mean.
00:49:48We do this every week.
00:49:51Yeah.
00:49:52You've never texted me three times the day of
00:49:55to make sure that I was coming.
00:49:56I'm not going to sleep.
00:50:01Dean.
00:50:01I saw his truck outside your place a couple nights ago.
00:50:07Whose truck?
00:50:09Miles.
00:50:09Who else?
00:50:12How do you know it was his truck?
00:50:14Because I don't know any other guys in Boulder
00:50:16who would drive a beastly vehicle like that.
00:50:19Oh, my God.
00:50:20You're such a snob.
00:50:22So, he spent the night?
00:50:24What, did you come back and check in the morning?
00:50:26Maybe.
00:50:28Maybe.
00:50:30Stop worrying.
00:50:32We're just fooling around.
00:50:34It's nothing serious.
00:50:34See, that is exactly what I'm worried about.
00:50:38The guy rejected you once already.
00:50:40Thank you for reminding me.
00:50:42Any guy that jerks you around like that is an idiot.
00:50:45He's not an idiot.
00:50:46He's a mechanic at a tire depot.
00:50:48How bright can he be?
00:50:49Are you kidding me?
00:50:51Hey, just calm down.
00:50:53Coming from a high school dropout.
00:50:55I got my GED.
00:50:58And I am self-educated.
00:51:00In what?
00:51:01Being an asshat?
00:51:03I surround myself with people who are inclusive
00:51:06and non-judgmental because I have a weird job.
00:51:10I don't want judgy friends in my corner
00:51:12because that would make me a hypocrite.
00:51:15And Miles is so encouraging about what I do.
00:51:18More encouraging than you have ever been.
00:51:21And he's not dumb at all.
00:51:23He's actually really fucking insightful
00:51:25and you might see that
00:51:27if you quit looking down your nose at people.
00:51:31Don't go, Kate.
00:51:32No, I'm sorry.
00:51:34But if you're going to start acting like this,
00:51:36then I don't see how we can continue to be friends.
00:51:38Kate.
00:51:38Kate.
00:51:38I like you.
00:51:45Yeah, well, I liked you too
00:51:46until you started acting like a douche nozzle.
00:51:49No.
00:51:49I mean,
00:51:50I really like you.
00:51:53And I...
00:51:54Oh, shit.
00:51:55I don't think it's something I can ignore anymore.
00:51:58In...
00:51:58How long?
00:52:05Couple years.
00:52:07But I was with Lindsay
00:52:08and you were with that douchebag Dryston.
00:52:11Why didn't you tell me?
00:52:13I didn't want to be a rebound.
00:52:15You're hooking up with a guy
00:52:16who still doesn't even know your real name.
00:52:18How do you think that's going to end?
00:52:19He wants it casual,
00:52:22but I want the whole thing.
00:52:24The good,
00:52:25the bad,
00:52:26all of it.
00:52:28I'm sorry, Dean.
00:52:31But I just don't feel the same way.
00:52:37But you are one of my best friends
00:52:39and I don't want to change that.
00:52:43I need you to go.
00:52:45But why?
00:52:46We all have our own
00:52:49little places
00:52:50and this is my tire depot.
00:52:54Please.
00:53:01I'm sorry, Dean.
00:53:12Hey.
00:53:15Who's that?
00:53:16A carburetor.
00:53:20What does it do?
00:53:23Um, kind of a lot.
00:53:25Do you really want to know?
00:53:27Yes.
00:53:29Well,
00:53:30it mixes the proper ratio
00:53:32of gas and air
00:53:33inside of an engine
00:53:34for combustion to occur.
00:53:36Nowadays, most cars
00:53:36have fuel injectors,
00:53:38but the classics
00:53:38still run on these puppies.
00:53:41Interesting.
00:53:41It's kind of like how
00:53:44a candle needs oxygen to burn.
00:53:48Combustion of an engine
00:53:49can't take place
00:53:50without the air
00:53:50the carburetor brings in.
00:53:55Kind of like how
00:53:57an orgasm
00:54:00can't be achieved
00:54:01without friction.
00:54:02Sure.
00:54:04You could draw that parallel.
00:54:07I would like to draw
00:54:08that parallel soon.
00:54:10Did you have something in mind?
00:54:15Watch your step up here.
00:54:17Oh!
00:54:17Smells so good.
00:54:23Miles, this is perfect.
00:54:25I didn't know girls
00:54:25could be this excited
00:54:26about camping.
00:54:27Well, don't judge a book
00:54:28by its cover, mister.
00:54:31Look.
00:54:32There's a path
00:54:33that leads right to the water.
00:54:34Perfect.
00:54:35Come on.
00:54:37We got work to do.
00:54:37We got to set up camp.
00:54:39This looks brand new.
00:54:53Yeah.
00:54:54I just do a sleeping bag, usually.
00:54:56So you bought this for me?
00:54:58It's not only for you.
00:55:00This will save my knees big time.
00:55:04You are such a horny bastard.
00:55:06Says the smut writer.
00:55:07Mm-hmm.
00:55:09Seriously?
00:55:21Seriously.
00:55:23Take your shorts off.
00:55:30I figured you were thirsty.
00:55:32We've earned these.
00:55:35Yeah, camping is hard.
00:55:39Mountain air suits you.
00:55:47I'm just in a good mood.
00:55:49It's amazing how much
00:55:50nice her life is
00:55:51with no drama.
00:55:51Do you ever talk to your ex?
00:55:58Not a word.
00:55:59And that's good.
00:56:03You never told me
00:56:04how you found out
00:56:04she was cheating on you.
00:56:06She got pregnant.
00:56:08With some rich old guy's kid.
00:56:10We were on a break at the time.
00:56:11Do you think that she got pregnant on purpose?
00:56:21No.
00:56:22No.
00:56:22Yes?
00:56:26I don't know.
00:56:28Probably.
00:56:30I have to wonder
00:56:31what kind of a fuckwit I was
00:56:32to not really realize
00:56:33she was always money obsessed.
00:56:35Thought being a mechanic
00:56:36was too blue-collar.
00:56:38Wanted me to make more money.
00:56:41You seem like you're doing
00:56:42just fine to me.
00:56:43See?
00:56:44I'm just pissed off
00:56:47I wasted the best years
00:56:47of my life with her.
00:56:49Who said they were
00:56:50the best years?
00:56:52And look around you, Miles.
00:56:54It's a pretty beautiful day.
00:56:56You want for nothing.
00:56:58That is an incredible quality
00:57:00in a person.
00:57:03And, I mean, look at you.
00:57:05You're smoking hot.
00:57:06You got a great job,
00:57:08house, friends,
00:57:10really sexy fuck buddy.
00:57:15So don't sweat the past.
00:57:18Focus on the now.
00:57:20Seriously, right now,
00:57:21my bobber disappeared
00:57:23several minutes ago
00:57:24and I don't know it.
00:57:24Shit, you got a bite.
00:57:30Are you kidding me?
00:57:33I caught a bicycle tire.
00:57:35What the hell, Colorado?
00:57:37Way to keep it classy.
00:57:39My hands hurt.
00:57:41Surely you could see
00:57:42the irony in this.
00:57:43Babe, you got a tire.
00:57:45This is kismet.
00:57:47Ah!
00:57:47Ah!
00:57:48Truth or dare?
00:58:07Truth.
00:58:09Do you ever get horny
00:58:10in the garage at tire depot?
00:58:12What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:15You're working
00:58:16on a customer's car
00:58:17and your hands
00:58:19are getting really dirty
00:58:20and you're just really
00:58:21digging in there
00:58:26and you just...
00:58:27I'm afraid not.
00:58:31damn.
00:58:32But classic car work
00:58:40on the other hand
00:58:41if I'm working
00:58:43on one of those
00:58:43and an old car
00:58:44that hasn't run
00:58:45in fucking decades
00:58:46and suddenly roars to life
00:58:47then hell yes.
00:58:50Rock solid.
00:58:50I knew it.
00:58:57Perverts attract perverts.
00:59:07Okay.
00:59:09Truth or dare?
00:59:10Dare.
00:59:11Ooh, somebody has secrets.
00:59:13Shut up.
00:59:15Skinny dip in the lake.
00:59:16The lake that birthed
00:59:20my blessed tire.
00:59:21No way.
00:59:22Who knows what the hell
00:59:23else is in that thing.
00:59:24It's fine.
00:59:25I knew you wouldn't do it.
00:59:28All talk
00:59:28and no action.
00:59:31Um,
00:59:33need I remind you
00:59:34who has been
00:59:35sneaking into tire depot
00:59:37for weeks now?
00:59:38You call that dangerous?
00:59:40I am consuming
00:59:41complimentary beverages
00:59:42without service miles.
00:59:45That is just as bad
00:59:46as leaving.
00:59:46Such a cold,
00:59:48hard criminal.
00:59:51Fine.
00:59:51I'll do it.
00:59:52But you have to do it
00:59:53with me.
00:59:55And why would I do that?
00:59:57Because I'll be naked.
01:00:10Woohoo!
01:00:10Mercedes?
01:00:33Mercedes, do you feel like, do you feel that, feel what, oh my god, that's freezing,
01:01:03oh my god, good morning, good morning,
01:01:23you've been busy this morning, yeah, it's a muddy mess, so I figured we should head back early,
01:01:40oh, okay, what can I do to help,
01:01:53I forgot the pancake mix, don't read into that,
01:02:00well, thanks for the help with the research, anytime, you okay, I'm just tired,
01:02:28shouldn't have gotten the mattress pad,
01:02:30hmm, looks like you got company, I'll see you later Mercedes,
01:02:40okay, bye, hi Dean, hey Kate,
01:02:53wanna come in for some coffee, is it complimentary,
01:02:59for people who aren't assholes it is,
01:03:05nothing to say about that loud muffler on Miles' truck,
01:03:11I'm surprised you know what a muffler is,
01:03:13I'm learning, I am too, I'm really sorry Kate,
01:03:23come on in then,
01:03:27did you spend the night at Miles' house last night,
01:03:31are you really asking that,
01:03:33I'm just making small talk Kate, I promise,
01:03:35no judgment,
01:03:37we were camping,
01:03:39camping,
01:03:41it was for book research,
01:03:43and it was really fun,
01:03:45writing something different,
01:03:47trying to,
01:03:49inspiration must be flowing,
01:03:51it has its moments,
01:03:55and Miles is the guy that brings this out in you,
01:03:59he's certainly not hurting things,
01:04:03so different from me,
01:04:07Dean, look,
01:04:09I never had a clue that you had feelings for me,
01:04:13if I had, I would have done so many things differently.
01:04:17Like what?
01:04:19I don't know,
01:04:20maybe,
01:04:21come over less often,
01:04:25I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise.
01:04:28No, no,
01:04:29you were just being yourself,
01:04:31it's pretty magnetic.
01:04:35Weird to get a compliment from someone you just rejected.
01:04:38I think that if you really like him,
01:04:40you need to come clean.
01:04:44Start by telling him your real name,
01:04:46and end with the fact that you still live with your ex, Kate.
01:04:50The longer you wait, the harder it'll be.
01:04:52But I moved his stuff out at least.
01:04:54If he really cares,
01:04:56he'll forgive you.
01:04:58I'm telling you this as your friend.
01:05:01So we're still friends?
01:05:03Only if I can still wear my fancy pants.
01:05:06Done.
01:05:07We've been here five minutes.
01:05:11How much longer do you need?
01:05:12It's a fucking tire.
01:05:14How long can it take?
01:05:15Just checking the warranty, sir.
01:05:17Uh, if for some reason your tire isn't repairable,
01:05:20we'd have to-
01:05:21Whoa, whoa, whoa, why can't my tire be repaired?
01:05:22Well, if there's a puncture in the sidewall,
01:05:24those aren't fixable, unfortunately,
01:05:26so we'd have to go in-
01:05:27What a rip-off!
01:05:28Who's a manager?
01:05:29I want to talk to them right now.
01:05:31Bruh,
01:05:32who's that chick?
01:05:34She's a customer service ref.
01:05:36Perfect.
01:05:37We'll take her.
01:05:38I'm afraid you don't get to pick.
01:05:40Yeah, I think we could if we wanted to.
01:05:45Hey!
01:05:46This isn't ordering a girl off the fucking internet, moron.
01:05:49Do you want your fucking tire fixed or not?
01:05:52Buddy.
01:05:53Manager.
01:05:54Manager.
01:05:55Now.
01:05:56Just go back to the shop.
01:05:57I'll let my uncle deal with these guys, okay?
01:05:59Yeah, why don't you go back to the shop
01:06:01and let your boy talk to this out?
01:06:03What kind of business are you running?
01:06:05Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:06:06What'd that licorice ever do to you?
01:06:17Nothing.
01:06:18What's going on with you?
01:06:22You look ready to rip someone's head off.
01:06:23You look ready to rip someone's head off.
01:06:32Nice dress.
01:06:33Yeah.
01:06:34You like it?
01:06:37So long as you don't twirl on it.
01:06:38What is wrong with you?
01:06:50Nothing.
01:06:51Just some entitled customers getting on my nerves.
01:06:57Do me a favor and don't go into the customer comfort center today, okay?
01:07:01Sure.
01:07:03Would me going over to yours tonight cheer you up?
01:07:08Tonight?
01:07:09After work, maybe?
01:07:11I want to see your house, specifically your garage.
01:07:14You know, research.
01:07:17Get our hands dirty.
01:07:19Fine.
01:07:20Wow.
01:07:25Moody's kind of hot on you.
01:07:34Oh my God, Miles.
01:07:36This is stunning.
01:07:381965 Ford pickup.
01:07:40Got the paint done last month.
01:07:42Interior last week.
01:07:43All she needs now is a new carburetor.
01:07:45For combustion.
01:07:47You remember that?
01:07:49Duh.
01:07:50The orgasm of the engine.
01:07:54Well, it might take a while.
01:07:56I can't find the right one to save my life.
01:07:59They're pretty rare.
01:08:00And expensive.
01:08:02You said it was your grandpa's?
01:08:03Looks like it belongs in a Pixar film.
01:08:09Yeah.
01:08:12He passed away two years ago.
01:08:15I'm so sorry to hear that.
01:08:17He was 77.
01:08:18He was 77.
01:08:19So...
01:08:20He had a solid run.
01:08:21Thought he was going to live forever.
01:08:24Hey, he always kept little candies in the glove box.
01:08:32You want one?
01:08:33Uh...
01:08:34Uh...
01:08:35No.
01:08:36No.
01:08:37Those were your grandpa's.
01:08:38They should stay where they are.
01:08:40I wish I had it running already.
01:08:46It was sort of a dying promise I made to him.
01:08:51Joss always got pissed at me when I worked on this truck.
01:08:56I feel bad I haven't finished it yet.
01:09:00Miles.
01:09:02Look at this thing.
01:09:04It's art.
01:09:05What?
01:09:06And you've already done so much to it.
01:09:09He would've loved you.
01:09:12Oh, yeah?
01:09:14Yeah.
01:09:15You're real.
01:09:18You don't put on a show for people.
01:09:21Everything you say is exactly what you are.
01:09:25He would've loved your name, too.
01:09:28Mercedes.
01:09:30Hot Cars.
01:09:33Well...
01:10:03Just the same thing the other day.
01:10:18Uh...
01:10:20Anyway...
01:10:21We were on leave.
01:10:24Honey, I'm home.
01:10:26Oh, shit.
01:10:28Dryston!
01:10:30Hi, Katie.
01:10:32Give us a hug.
01:10:34Best entrepreneurs in the state of Colorado.
01:10:37That's right, man.
01:10:38Uh...
01:10:39Dude.
01:10:40Are you even listening to me?
01:10:42Yeah.
01:10:43Sorry.
01:10:44Your uncle wants you to buy him out.
01:10:45That's fucking awesome.
01:10:47It's awesome for both of us.
01:10:50I want you by my side.
01:10:54Maybe his manager or fucking parts director.
01:10:59Maybe you can even open that vintage car garage under the Tire Depot umbrella.
01:11:05Work on classic cars more often.
01:11:08Put your granddad's truck in our showroom.
01:11:11Damn!
01:11:12We'd add up everything under one roof.
01:11:14Tires, auto repair, antique car restorations.
01:11:18I'm getting hard just thinking about it.
01:11:23I guess that wouldn't suck.
01:11:26Come on, man!
01:11:28I thought this would cheer you up.
01:11:30It is.
01:11:31It does.
01:11:32I'm happy for you.
01:11:34It's just...
01:11:36Mercedes hasn't texted me back in days and that's unlike her.
01:11:41You're pining after your fuck buddy.
01:11:44She's not a fuck buddy.
01:11:46Watch how you fucking speak about her.
01:11:49I'm not joking.
01:11:50Okay.
01:11:53But don't let that girl get in your head and force you to miss out on a great opportunity.
01:12:03Come on.
01:12:05Let's go celebrate.
01:12:06Mmm.
01:12:07Mmm.
01:12:08Dreistin is back.
01:12:09Shut up.
01:12:10What did you say?
01:12:11I told him that his stuff is in storage.
01:12:12I was changing the locks.
01:12:13I'll pay him the deposit and that I'm not moving.
01:12:14Good for you.
01:12:15You finally got Dreistin out of your life for good and it was about damn time.
01:12:17Now I just have to come clean to Miles about my name.
01:12:19Oh, my God.
01:12:20Oh, my God.
01:12:21Oh, my God.
01:12:22Oh, my God.
01:12:23Oh, my God.
01:12:24Oh, my God.
01:12:25Oh, my God.
01:12:26Oh, my God.
01:12:27Oh, my God.
01:12:28Oh, my God.
01:12:29Oh, my God.
01:12:30Oh, my God.
01:12:31Oh, my God.
01:12:32Oh, my God.
01:12:33Oh, my God.
01:12:34Oh, my God.
01:12:36Hmm.
01:12:37I've been avoiding him until this Dreistin stuff got sorted.
01:12:41Real life is so much more complicated than fiction.
01:12:46I just want a real life romance.
01:12:47You got this.
01:12:48I've got nothing except a full bladder.
01:12:51I'm gonna go pee and get us refills.
01:12:53Yes, please.
01:13:02God damn, Katie.
01:13:03Did you look this good when I left?
01:13:06Did you follow me here?
01:13:08I didn't have to.
01:13:09It's her favorite spot.
01:13:10Oh, this is so typical.
01:13:12What?
01:13:13You come crawling into town and think that you can get whatever you want.
01:13:18What?
01:13:19I don't remember your tits looking this good.
01:13:23I need a refresher.
01:13:24Don't be a pig, Dreistin.
01:13:26Don't be a bitch, Katie.
01:13:27Hey, what's up, bro?
01:13:28Dude, long time no see.
01:13:29How you been?
01:13:30Yeah.
01:13:31Miles, what are you doing here?
01:13:32Here with my buddy.
01:13:33What about you?
01:13:34Oh, I'm here with Kate.
01:13:35What are the odds?
01:13:36Who's Kate?
01:13:37I said your stuff is in storage, Dreistin.
01:13:39You can be a real bitch.
01:13:40You know that?
01:13:41What the fuck did you just call her?
01:13:42I said your stuff is in storage, Dreistin.
01:13:44You can be a real bitch.
01:13:45You know that?
01:13:46What the fuck did you just call her?
01:13:48Excuse you?
01:13:49Excuse you.
01:13:50I won't ask again.
01:13:51This conversation is so bad.
01:13:52What are you doing here?
01:13:53I was here with my buddy.
01:13:54What about you?
01:13:55I'm here with Kate.
01:13:57What are the odds?
01:13:58Who's Kate?
01:13:59I said your stuff is in storage, Dreistin.
01:14:02You can be a real bitch.
01:14:03You know that?
01:14:04What the fuck did you just call her?
01:14:08Excuse you?
01:14:09Excuse you.
01:14:11I won't ask again.
01:14:13This conversation has nothing to do with you, Wrenchhead.
01:14:16Dryston.
01:14:17You were the asshole at Tire Depot the other day.
01:14:20You know this fuckwit Mercedes?
01:14:22You think her name is Mercedes?
01:14:25I was going to tell you everything.
01:14:27Tell me what? Who the fuck is this guy?
01:14:29He's no one.
01:14:30No, no, I just live with you.
01:14:32This is your gay roommate?
01:14:35I didn't fuck her like I was gay.
01:14:37Miles, please let me explain.
01:14:39Ooh, yeah, Katie, why don't you explain?
01:14:43Why is he calling you Katie?
01:14:44Because that's her real name, moron.
01:14:47Mercedes is basically the hooker name.
01:14:48She made up to write those stupid, trashy books.
01:14:51Call her fucking name again and you will regret it.
01:14:53Miles, don't.
01:14:54No, no, you couldn't have the trashy cunt.
01:14:57She's not suitable for mixed company anyway.
01:14:59Oh!
01:15:00Oh!
01:15:03Oh!
01:15:05Oh.
01:15:13Miles, I can explain.
01:15:14Don't talk to me.
01:15:15Miles, I need to explain.
01:15:17What, Mercedes?
01:15:18Or is it Katie?
01:15:20It's Kate.
01:15:21Explain why I punched a guy in the face for a girl whose name I don't even know.
01:15:24I was going to tell you.
01:15:27After I fell in love with you?
01:15:29I'm still the same person, Miles.
01:15:32I am just as much Mercedes as I am Kate.
01:15:34Then why fucking lie about it?
01:15:36Because with my ex, I got used to hiding that part of myself.
01:15:39But with you, I have never had to, not once.
01:15:42Kate Smith is who I am when I'm not telling people what I do.
01:15:46And what happened with your sister?
01:15:50That's something that's never happened to me before.
01:15:52You lied to me.
01:15:54Even when you knew about my past, you had plenty of chances to open up.
01:15:58Do you know what a fucking idiot I feel like for calling Mercedes all this time?
01:16:04Every time we had sex, I'm a joke to you.
01:16:08You are not a joke.
01:16:10I am.
01:16:14I'm sorry.
01:16:14I got carried away.
01:16:18I liked you so much.
01:16:20I've always liked you as more than friends with benefits.
01:16:23And I thought that I could be this cool, casual Mercedes with no strings attached.
01:16:27But the truth is, is that I am just plain old boring Kate Smith.
01:16:33Who is totally falling for you, Miles Hudson.
01:16:36How can I even trust you?
01:16:39You're just as bad as my ex.
01:16:41I'm out, Kate, Mercedes, whoever you are.
01:16:46You can keep your drama, your lies, keep living your life as your author name, your real name, with your boyfriend, your ex-gay boyfriend.
01:16:53This is officially the end of our story.
01:16:57It's been two weeks.
01:17:04Oh, stop.
01:17:06He was upset.
01:17:07You made him feel like a fool.
01:17:09He'll get over it.
01:17:10He's not returning any of my calls.
01:17:12That's because you haven't made your grand gesture yet.
01:17:14Grand gesture?
01:17:15Mm-hmm.
01:17:17He's really good, Dean.
01:17:18Oh, thank you.
01:17:18What grand gesture?
01:17:20Kate, you write this stuff.
01:17:22Now you have to live it.
01:17:25You need to make a grand gesture that shows your hero that you care deeply.
01:17:29Wow, you know that you fucked up royally.
01:17:31You still know him.
01:17:32You know him and care about him.
01:17:34And the grandness of this gesture proves it.
01:17:37Wow, that was a mouthful.
01:17:39She's right, Kate.
01:17:40He cares about you, but it's got to be big.
01:17:43Any ideas?
01:17:44There's no turn.
01:17:56No, the map is wrong.
01:17:57We launched service like 10 minutes ago.
01:18:06Right, it's literally on 14.
01:18:07It's the not loaded.
01:18:09Do we have a charger?
01:18:10You got the drive.
01:18:11We'll be right here.
01:18:31You got this.
01:18:31Mom's worried about you.
01:18:58What?
01:19:00You haven't emailed in two weeks.
01:19:01You know you do it like clockwork.
01:19:04Why are you calling so early?
01:19:07Is Joss there?
01:19:09No.
01:19:10Why would you think that?
01:19:12I don't know.
01:19:13Mom and I thought you might have gotten back together and didn't want to tell us.
01:19:16It's not Joss.
01:19:18I've been seeing that author girl.
01:19:20Oh man, I didn't realize you were seeing her.
01:19:22I'm not.
01:19:23I mean, I was, but it's over now.
01:19:27Why?
01:19:28Because she lied to me about some shit.
01:19:31And I'm not bringing that noise back into my life.
01:19:34Been there, done that.
01:19:35Don't think that every girl that isn't perfect is like Jocelyn.
01:19:39Look, I don't know this girl, but I do know you.
01:19:42And you sounded so crazy happy that night you called me to talk about her.
01:19:46I was.
01:19:46Dude, I called mom the very next day to tell her about how different you sounded.
01:19:51We were excited.
01:19:53Seriously?
01:19:55Yeah, Joss was the worst.
01:19:57You were moody for years.
01:19:59This girl makes you happy?
01:20:00True or false?
01:20:01True.
01:20:02Then sometimes a little noise in your life is a good thing.
01:20:08When did you get so fucking insightful?
01:20:11When I started waking up earlier.
01:20:12Grand gesture.
01:20:39This can't be from you, Caddy.
01:20:40It's not.
01:20:41It's the carburetor that Miles needs to get his grandpa's truck running.
01:20:47Could you give it to him but not tell him it's for me, please?
01:20:51Are you kidding me?
01:20:52This thing costs a shitload of money.
01:20:54Where'd you find it?
01:20:56A Scottish footballer named Mac who lives in a creepy house in the mountains.
01:21:01What?
01:21:03Anyway, why don't you give it to him yourself?
01:21:08Because I don't want him back like that.
01:21:10Kate.
01:21:14Kate.
01:21:15Yeah?
01:21:16You know Miles paid my uncle every single week you were here, right?
01:21:24He what?
01:21:25My uncle owns this place, and Miles worked out a deal with him to look the other way when
01:21:33you came in all the time.
01:21:34I thought I was flying under the radar.
01:21:37No.
01:21:39Definitely not.
01:21:41Total Brooke boyfriend moment.
01:21:43What?
01:21:46Nothing.
01:21:46Nothing.
01:21:48Where's Miles?
01:21:50Outside, stacking tires.
01:21:52Go put him out of his misery.
01:21:55Are you sure?
01:21:56Yes.
01:21:57Please.
01:21:58For the love of God, go.
01:21:59What are you doing here?
01:22:17Do you know what this is?
01:22:20Looks like a carburetor.
01:22:25Do you know for what kind of vehicle?
01:22:26I can't tell from here.
01:22:36It's a 1965 Ford F100.
01:22:45Where did you get it?
01:22:46It's kind of a long, crazy story that included a rattlesnake.
01:22:56But I'm hoping it has a great ending.
01:22:59What kind of ending?
01:23:00The kind where you let me apologize for lying.
01:23:08I'm not your ex, Miles.
01:23:11I am Kate Smith.
01:23:14From Longmont, Colorado.
01:23:17Whose ex technically still lived with her until she changed the locks on him.
01:23:23Who's not some brave, erotic romance author who's cool with kink and casual relationships and using a mechanic for book research.
01:23:36I am just a girl who's been falling in love with a guy who works at Tire Depot.
01:23:53Who would really just like to go home with him and take a freaking shower.
01:23:56I like your ending so much better than mine.
01:24:02Yeah.
01:24:05Have I just been upgraded from book boyfriend to real boyfriend?
01:24:09Yes.
01:24:11Then I can firmly say it was worth the wait, Miles.
01:24:14Yes.
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