Perfect Boyfriend HD

Full English Movie

9 hours ago

Transcript

00:00:00excuse me but you look familiar i'm sorry what do you work in the veterinary office

00:00:08oh that's got to be it you look so familiar i'm betty and and my poodle's name is misty

00:00:16the teacup black one no i'm sorry betty i'm a writer maybe you've read one of my books

00:00:21oh what's your name i write under the pen name mercedes lee love letter is it christian romance

00:00:27no is it amish oh how i love those amish novels definitely not amish

00:00:37are you writing now yes may i see i'm afraid i don't let anyone see my work in progress

00:00:44needs an editor's touch oh you were in here yesterday too right and the day before

00:00:49okay what's the problem did management send you in here oh no no i i'm just the baker

00:01:00betty the baker you do the cookies yes i make the cookies the scones holy cow those scones are

00:01:08delish do you really think so oh yes have you tried the danishes i haven't seen the danishes

00:01:13i usually get here around 10 they must be gone by 10. oh well that's a good sign i think so too

00:01:20good for you betty well how many days have you been in here is there something terribly wrong with

00:01:27your car i bet they could get you a rental actually i'm not really a writer betty can you keep a secret

00:01:36i'm here with corporate we've been worried about the service in this branch so they sent me here to

00:01:42scope things out for a few weeks well i've never heard any complaints before but you wouldn't it's all

00:01:47very internal but i'm gonna need you to keep my presence here quiet that's okay mom's the word

00:01:55thank you for your discretion we aren't worried about you at all hi dean kade i don't need an oil

00:02:21change yes but you're my friend and you'll do anything for me i need your car so i don't blow my

00:02:27cover i lied to an old lady i'm in deep this is so desperate it doesn't matter what matters is that

00:02:35i've got my writing mojo back and i'm not giving it up please why don't you just find a back entrance

00:02:43instead of borrowing every neighbor's car you never thought of that this deadline has me freaked out

00:02:51okay no whatever wait you don't need my car no

00:03:21okay

00:03:31so

00:03:33so

00:03:35Oh, shit.

00:04:05Are you okay?

00:04:07Oh, my God, my computer.

00:04:12Okay, it's not cracked, but will it boot?

00:04:16Oh, rookie mistake.

00:04:17This is what I get for not backing it up.

00:04:20Oh, okay.

00:04:24Whew.

00:04:27Hey.

00:04:30Are you hurt?

00:04:33Huh?

00:04:48You, uh, you work here?

00:04:52I do.

00:04:54I'm a mechanic.

00:04:56Were you getting a service?

00:05:01Yes.

00:05:02Then what brings you back here?

00:05:05Completed cars are out front.

00:05:07These back doors are the employee entrance.

00:05:09Right.

00:05:10I, um, was coming out for a smoke.

00:05:14Great.

00:05:15Can I bum one?

00:05:17Weren't you just fake-smoking licorice?

00:05:20You saw that?

00:05:22Yes.

00:05:23Before my triumphant fall, I saw something that looked like a make-believe cloud of cherry smoke floating all around you.

00:05:30I quit smoking three months ago.

00:05:34And licorice helps.

00:05:35Doesn't hurt.

00:05:36Maybe it hurts the ego.

00:05:38How macho is it to fake smoke candy?

00:05:41My ego is never in danger, babe.

00:05:44Well, with book boyfriend arms like that, it's no wonder.

00:05:48Book boyfriend?

00:05:49Book boyfriend.

00:05:51The leading man in a romance novel that readers claim ownership of because he doesn't likely exist in the real world.

00:05:58Basically, the ideal man.

00:06:00I haven't heard of that before.

00:06:02I take it you're into books or something?

00:06:05Or something.

00:06:08And it doesn't surprise me you've never heard of it.

00:06:12You're not my demo.

00:06:15What if you're my demo?

00:06:24Well, we won't know that until the end.

00:06:39Fessa, where have you been?

00:06:41The library, like I told you in my text.

00:06:44Bullshit.

00:06:47You smell like coffee and rubber.

00:06:49It's known as freedom.

00:06:51You actually went back to the tire depot.

00:06:54Kate, come on.

00:06:55They are going to call the cops on you.

00:06:56For what?

00:06:57Stealing complimentary coffee and cookies?

00:06:59Come on.

00:07:00That's not a thing.

00:07:01But loitering is.

00:07:04You think they'd really do that?

00:07:07Anyway, I found a back entrance.

00:07:10No more borrowing cars.

00:07:11Oh, that's even better.

00:07:13You're skulking in and out of side entrances.

00:07:15Brilliant.

00:07:16I don't care, Lindsay.

00:07:17I found my words at the TD.

00:07:19And I'm not letting go until I'm done.

00:07:21The TD?

00:07:22Tiger Depot.

00:07:23It's such a mouthful.

00:07:24You know what's a mouthful?

00:07:26Risen.

00:07:27This is a crutch, Kate.

00:07:29You've got to see that.

00:07:31Who cares?

00:07:32I couldn't write a thing before I went there.

00:07:34And writing is what keeps me in this posh townhouse on the outskirts of beautiful Boulder.

00:07:39If I want to continue being this stunning creature living the high life, I have to follow the vibe.

00:07:43And the vibe is strong at Tire Depot.

00:07:47Can we stop dancing around what's really going on here?

00:07:49Watch yourself.

00:07:50That is luxury reclaimed Barnwood.

00:07:53This is about your ex?

00:07:56Who happens to still live with you?

00:07:58He's gone for the summer.

00:08:00That is hardly living together.

00:08:02And as soon as he gets back, I'm not budging.

00:08:04We're playing this game of chicken and there's no way I'm letting that entitled fucker take this house.

00:08:09So even though you can't write in it, you want to fight for the house with no vibe?

00:08:14That's irrelevant.

00:08:15There's no way in hell I'm moving.

00:08:17I have to write a follow-up bestseller.

00:08:20That is no small feat.

00:08:22I live next door to my best friend.

00:08:24You don't want me to move out, do you?

00:08:26No.

00:08:29What?

00:08:30It looks like a letter from Tire Depot.

00:08:32They figured it out?

00:08:33Stop being so dramatic.

00:08:35Have they ever mailed you something before?

00:08:36No.

00:08:37Oh my god, what if this is the moment I feared?

00:08:40They might be taking my mojo away.

00:08:42Dear Miss Smith, we have taken notice of your enjoyment of our customer waiting area.

00:08:47Read it.

00:08:49An invoice for refreshments?

00:08:52Holy shit!

00:08:53How do they know?

00:08:55What?

00:08:56$180 for lattes and cookies.

00:08:58Kate, how many did you eat?

00:09:00I don't eat lunch.

00:09:02Wait a damn minute.

00:09:05What?

00:09:06This has danishes here.

00:09:07Okay.

00:09:08I have never had a danish there in my life.

00:09:10You haven't.

00:09:11I'm being pumped.

00:09:16Dean.

00:09:25Okay, here's the plan.

00:09:26I'm gonna kneel here.

00:09:27You knock on the door.

00:09:28When he opens it, jump punch.

00:09:31Kate!

00:09:33What if he didn't do it?

00:09:34I mean, that's so extreme.

00:09:36Surely he has a punch to the balls out coming for something.

00:09:39He's a mountain man whore.

00:09:40They always have it coming.

00:09:43Why are you so mature?

00:09:45You're a dick.

00:09:46And I know that fake invoice was from you.

00:09:51Nice to see you too, Kate.

00:09:56Just be grateful she didn't junk punch you.

00:09:58I saved you from that.

00:10:00Thanks, Linz.

00:10:01Mm-hmm.

00:10:02How'd you know it was me?

00:10:05The letterhead was too perfect.

00:10:07And I know you know how to use Photoshop.

00:10:10You should try to suck more.

00:10:12Oh, that is the first time I've heard that.

00:10:14You should have seen her, Dane.

00:10:16I thought she was going to start crying when she saw that letterhead.

00:10:19Look, I tried to get you to come check out my coworking space.

00:10:22We've got coffee and donuts there too, you know?

00:10:24Eh, those aren't my people.

00:10:26Not my vibe.

00:10:28And your vibe is this tire shop.

00:10:31You gotta see it to believe it, man.

00:10:33If you find your vibe somewhere, you have to fight for it.

00:10:37Tire Depot is to me what Fanny Braun was to John Keats.

00:10:41Poetry in motion, man.

00:10:43Okay, you sound like a lunatic.

00:10:46What if you could work better and faster elsewhere?

00:10:49You'd have more time to hike, bang chicks, prank your friends,

00:10:55buy more plaid trousers.

00:10:57Oh, you been noticing my slacks, Kate?

00:10:59No, and don't change the subject.

00:11:02I feel like a fucking champion when I'm blasting out words

00:11:05and sitting next to some gal who's wasting her life on social media.

00:11:09It's a real morale boost for Mercedes Lee Love Letter.

00:11:12And I still can't believe you hit a bestseller list with that pen name.

00:11:15My readers get me.

00:11:17They'd have to.

00:11:19So you're going back there tomorrow?

00:11:20Hells yeah.

00:11:21This smut won't write itself.

00:11:23I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.

00:11:31Mercedes Lee Love Letter.

00:11:32I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.

00:11:38Mercedes Lee Love Letter.

00:11:39Mercedes Lee Love Letter.

00:11:41I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.

00:11:46Claim it now or it's going in the trash.

00:11:47I'm Mercedes.

00:11:48I've been calling your name for like five minutes.

00:11:49Well, I didn't order a pizza.

00:11:50I don't care.

00:11:51Fucking whore.

00:11:52I'm trying to keep a low profile.

00:11:53Everyone is staring at me.

00:11:54I'm fucking mortified.

00:11:55I'm fucking mortified.

00:11:56Laughing.

00:11:57So.

00:11:58I'm trying to keep a low profile.

00:12:02Laughing so fucking hard.

00:12:07You interrupted my anal scene.

00:12:10I was in the zone.

00:12:11I'm just a little bit more.

00:12:12I don't care.

00:12:13I don't care.

00:12:14Fucking whore.

00:12:15I'm trying to keep a low profile.

00:12:19Laughing so fucking hard.

00:12:26Laughing so fucking hard.

00:12:27You interrupted my anal scene.

00:12:30I was in the zone, wheezing on the floor.

00:12:36How do you have time for this?

00:12:38Don't you have a book to write?

00:12:43Oh, best 53 bucks I ever spent.

00:13:00You're back.

00:13:09I had an issue with one of my tires.

00:13:14Which car?

00:13:16I drive the Cadillac SRX.

00:13:18A Cadillac?

00:13:20Isn't that kind of an old lady car?

00:13:22It is not an old lady car.

00:13:24It is a luxury SUV, and it is wonderful.

00:13:27Well, if you have that kind of money, you should look into a Lexus or a BMW.

00:13:32Much more sexy feel to the body.

00:13:35Well, maybe I don't want a sexy body feel.

00:13:39What's your name?

00:13:42My name is Mercedes.

00:13:44That's perfect.

00:13:46You'd look damn fine in a Mercedes.

00:13:50What do you drive?

00:13:51An Indian motorcycle.

00:13:53Why am I not surprised?

00:13:54Am I that predictable?

00:13:55More predictable than my old lady car.

00:13:57Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Mercedes.

00:14:03I'm Miles Hudson.

00:14:09Now tell me why you're really here.

00:14:11Would some leftover pizza keep you quiet?

00:14:16I might buy you some time.

00:14:19Time is all I need.

00:14:21You're serious?

00:14:22Super serious.

00:14:23Very well, Mercedes.

00:14:25I'll leave you be.

00:14:26For now.

00:14:28See you around the water cooler, Miles.

00:14:41You haven't noticed that hot redhead in the comfort center, have you?

00:14:44Nope.

00:14:48Nope.

00:14:49Was she there today?

00:14:51Yeah.

00:14:51And yesterday.

00:14:53What was she doing?

00:14:55Just on her computer.

00:14:58So she's safe and need free Wi-Fi.

00:15:00Call the cops.

00:15:00We got a mooch on our hands.

00:15:02I don't get a mooch vibe from her.

00:15:05Mostly feels like desperation.

00:15:11Now it all makes sense.

00:15:13You have a fetish for desperate girls, bro.

00:15:16I do not.

00:15:17Yes, you do.

00:15:18You like to save them?

00:15:19Be the gallant protector, sweeps in, guards them?

00:15:23This girl does not need saving.

00:15:26So she's nothing like Jocelyn?

00:15:30Dude, I'm done with Joss.

00:15:33Can we please stop talking about her?

00:15:34Miles, you got dumped by your longtime sweetheart for some rich, ugly prick.

00:15:39That shit sticks with you forever.

00:15:43What a sausage fest.

00:15:45Why do we live here again?

00:15:47Because my uncle's the manager.

00:15:49And no other boss would put up with our shit.

00:15:51And maybe that.

00:15:55Oh, definitely that.

00:15:57Oh, definitely that.

00:16:21Hey, Justin.

00:16:28I'm going to close up the night, okay?

00:16:29Okay.

00:16:45Hey, Red.

00:16:46Mercedes?

00:16:58Shit, did I bust out?

00:17:00Yeah.

00:17:01Have you fainted before?

00:17:03Only when I don't eat.

00:17:05Why didn't you have a cookie or something?

00:17:07I feel bad eating all the cookies.

00:17:13Betty worked so hard on them.

00:17:15It's bad enough that I drink all the coffee.

00:17:19What's wrong?

00:17:21No one ever tells her how good those cookies are.

00:17:23I got here early so that I could try her danishes.

00:17:29And they were already gone.

00:17:31How crazy is that?

00:17:35Betty has to get up so early to make them fresh every day.

00:17:39And then people just gobble them up in seconds.

00:17:41I wonder if anyone appreciates her in her life.

00:17:45Do you know if she's married?

00:17:49Betty gets a hug for me every time I see her.

00:17:51The guys, your lover, baked goods.

00:17:55Really?

00:17:56Really.

00:17:58That's really sweet.

00:18:00I'm sorry.

00:18:01I get emotional when I'm hungry.

00:18:04You know how some people get hangry, I get amongry?

00:18:08Emotional and hungry?

00:18:09It's a thing.

00:18:10I got them to add it to Urban Dictionary.

00:18:14Well, let's get you something to eat then.

00:18:16Like pizza, not cookies.

00:18:18I love pizza.

00:18:19I know.

00:18:20I saw your shirt the other day.

00:18:22With the pizza?

00:18:23I love that shirt.

00:18:28Oh, my God.

00:18:30I am probably bugging you.

00:18:33No, you're not.

00:18:34Please, I practically just fainted in your arms.

00:18:40We could not get any more book worthy if we tried.

00:18:42Mercedes, this isn't the first time I've had a girl faint at the side of me.

00:18:50Just feed me before you start reciting any more cheesy romance novel lines.

00:18:56I had to kill a guy for these.

00:19:06I hope you didn't get blood on them.

00:19:08I hope you didn't get blood on them.

00:19:08Jesus, now what?

00:19:21Oh, come on.

00:19:22There was nothing sexy about that.

00:19:24I just stuffed my face with a breadstick.

00:19:26So, what are you so busy doing every day that you forget to eat?

00:19:34All I can say is that I was in the zone.

00:19:38You need to drink water.

00:19:41On a day that you didn't faint into my arms, you could have a beer first.

00:19:44But please, for my own sanity, will you drink some water first?

00:20:01Now, tell me what you're doing every day.

00:20:05Think of this as a safe space.

00:20:08Nothing will be held against you.

00:20:12And you've been doing this for over three weeks now?

00:20:15Basically.

00:20:17But why won't you tell me what you're writing?

00:20:20Because it weirds people out.

00:20:22I won't judge.

00:20:23You'll judge.

00:20:25Well, if you tell me you're writing the next Game of Thrones,

00:20:28we'll basically have to get married and live happily ever after.

00:20:32It's not the next Game of Thrones,

00:20:34but thank you for the most romantic proposal I've ever received.

00:20:39You get a lot of proposals?

00:20:42Yeah.

00:20:44Only from guys with issues.

00:20:46I don't have issues.

00:20:47Where were you born?

00:20:52Utah.

00:20:54What brought you here?

00:20:57Tech school.

00:20:58Did you know anyone when you moved out here?

00:21:01I followed this girl.

00:21:05What was she like?

00:21:06I don't want to talk about her.

00:21:07Oh, yikes.

00:21:09Did I just stumble on a sore spot?

00:21:11Say the word and I'll stop.

00:21:12Word.

00:21:13Got it.

00:21:13No ex-girlfriend talk.

00:21:17I mean, I'm over her, but I just don't like to think about her.

00:21:20I totally get it.

00:21:22Douchebag ex-boyfriend over here.

00:21:24So what do you do when you're not working?

00:21:32I like to ride my motorcycle, hike, read.

00:21:39Occasionally, I go to the lake.

00:21:41Hmm.

00:21:42Cool.

00:21:43Well, I'll make sure to go shopping for my Harley this weekend.

00:21:46You do that.

00:21:48Come on.

00:21:49Let's get you back to the shop before I start boring you with why you should get an Indian

00:21:53instead of a Harley.

00:21:54Oof.

00:21:55Mechanic talk.

00:21:57Sounds kinky.

00:21:57Sex appeal isn't created in a fancy gym.

00:22:27With weights and treadmills.

00:22:30It's born in powerful, grungy garages.

00:22:35Where men, real fucking men, work with their hands.

00:22:40Another week of work down.

00:23:06You look hyper-focused.

00:23:07Yeah.

00:23:08I, um, I got a new book idea today.

00:23:13Any big plans for the weekend?

00:23:15My buddy and I might go to the Golden Gate Park tomorrow.

00:23:18We try to camp and hit this great hiking trail there every summer.

00:23:22Sounds fun.

00:23:23Super masculine.

00:23:26What about you?

00:23:27Oh, I will probably do some more writing.

00:23:32Sounds exciting.

00:23:33Oh, it is.

00:23:36Well, you have a good weekend.

00:23:38I have no idea why I just kissed you on the cheek.

00:23:44That was really inappropriate.

00:23:46No worries here.

00:23:48Endless dirty thoughts live rent-free in my mind.

00:23:51I swear I'm usually a lot smoother than this.

00:23:54Don't worry.

00:23:55Your book boyfriend status is still very much secure.

00:23:59See you Monday, Mercedes.

00:24:03See you at the coffee machine.

00:24:12Cheers, buddy.

00:24:13Cheers.

00:24:14Bye.

00:24:16Bye.

00:24:17What are you waiting for, bro?

00:24:19Well, she tells you she has dirty thoughts and you don't think, yeah, I'm going to tap her.

00:24:25Nah, she's too cool for a random hookup.

00:24:28Then I'd have to see her every day in the comfort center.

00:24:30It would be awkward.

00:24:32Wait, you just don't go in there anymore after you bang her.

00:24:35Boom, problem solved.

00:24:37Two.

00:24:38I like seeing her.

00:24:43Oh, my gosh, thank you.

00:24:45Is that that same redhead?

00:24:52Yeah.

00:24:57I'll visit you in jail.

00:24:59What?

00:25:00Yeah, when you get arrested for killing that guy, I will visit you in jail.

00:25:07Dude, I thought you were just friends with this girl.

00:25:10I am.

00:25:12I want to fucking call it, bro.

00:25:15Hey, Miles.

00:25:16Hey, Mercedes.

00:25:18Fancy seeing you here.

00:25:20I thought you were going camping.

00:25:23I thought you were riding.

00:25:25Girl needs a break sometimes.

00:25:28I'll find a coffee shop tomorrow.

00:25:31This is my buddy, Sam.

00:25:34Hey.

00:25:35Nice to meet you.

00:25:37Mercedes.

00:25:38Right.

00:25:39Mercedes.

00:25:41Well, I will...

00:25:43Can I buy you a drink?

00:25:45Drink sounds good.

00:25:47Uh, here.

00:25:48Take my spot.

00:25:49I'm going to go say hi to a friend.

00:25:51He's the DJ tonight.

00:25:53Thanks.

00:25:54Nice to meet you.

00:25:55Yeah, you too.

00:25:59What's your poison?

00:26:00Miles.

00:26:12Mercedes.

00:26:14Why haven't you asked me to hang out again since we had pizza together?

00:26:19Tire Depot seems safer.

00:26:22Safer.

00:26:24Meaning that I won't run into you and break my computer again?

00:26:29Something like that.

00:26:32So what are your plans really tonight?

00:26:35You just hanging out with Sam?

00:26:36Or are you guys on the hunt?

00:26:38On the hunt?

00:26:40For tail.

00:26:42A one-night stand that gets really awkward in the morning because she wants to make you pancakes.

00:26:47But you would rather chew your arm off and sneak out before she wakes up.

00:26:51Something like that.

00:26:54I could tell that about you.

00:26:56How?

00:26:58It's my business.

00:27:02So, what's your type?

00:27:04Draws your eye.

00:27:05What are we working with here?

00:27:06I don't know.

00:27:12Brunettes, I guess.

00:27:14My ex was a blonde.

00:27:16No more blondes.

00:27:17Brunettes it is.

00:27:19Let's see.

00:27:21Not my friend Lindsay.

00:27:23She already dated my friend Dean and it was so awkward for months after.

00:27:27What about her?

00:27:32Nah, I try to avoid packs.

00:27:34There's always one friend who cock blocks.

00:27:36One friend who tries to steal the guy.

00:27:38And one friend who slut shames the other two.

00:27:41Man.

00:27:42Girls can be mean.

00:27:44You're telling me.

00:27:47What about you?

00:27:50Why aren't you on the hunt?

00:27:52You said you're over your ex, right?

00:27:53Oh, I totally am.

00:27:55He is vile.

00:27:56And your friend Dean isn't a prospect?

00:28:01No way.

00:28:02He is my neighbor.

00:28:03And he reminds me of my brother.

00:28:06Uh-huh.

00:28:08You know what?

00:28:08You're right, Miles.

00:28:10I should totally find a random hookup tonight.

00:28:13Well, I never said anything about random.

00:28:15Well, you're doing it, so why can't I?

00:28:17You don't seem like the random type.

00:28:20Well, maybe I should be.

00:28:21Can I tell you a secret, Miles?

00:28:38You can tell me anything, Mercedes.

00:28:44My writing makes me horny.

00:28:46I'm sorry, what?

00:28:48I'm serious.

00:28:50I have a sex toy that works really fast and really well.

00:28:53But sometimes I just miss the heat of a man, you know?

00:28:58Not really.

00:29:00I'm the heat of a woman.

00:29:03You know what I'm talking about?

00:29:05The heat.

00:29:06The heat of a woman is so much more than temperature.

00:29:20It's her soft, sensual curves.

00:29:24The way that your fingers dig into the meat of her thighs when she's wrapped around you.

00:29:30The delicate little bumps on her ribcage when she's throwing her head back in pleasure.

00:29:35Tight little nipples and pillows of creamy softness.

00:29:40The fact that you could fold your body around her and envelop her almost entirely and still want more.

00:29:49That kind of heat.

00:29:59You're totally right, Veronica.

00:30:01Damn it.

00:30:06I didn't want you to know.

00:30:08Why not?

00:30:09What's the big secret?

00:30:11Because it'll change the way that you look at me.

00:30:14How so?

00:30:15You'll either think that I'm some kind of sex freak.

00:30:18Or you'll be embarrassed by what I do and not want to tell anyone.

00:30:23Are you joking?

00:30:24Well, your buddy doesn't count.

00:30:25He's probably a hornball.

00:30:27I mean anyone that is important to you.

00:30:32It's a big reason why my ex and I broke up.

00:30:35He asked me to lie to his family about what I did for a living.

00:30:38What a fucker.

00:30:40Yes.

00:30:42But I read some really kinky shit.

00:30:43It's not exactly easy to tell your grandma about.

00:30:47I would tell my grandma about you.

00:30:49You would not.

00:30:51I fucking would.

00:30:52Grandmas hate me.

00:30:54My grandma hates me.

00:30:55She's really religious and every time that I come home, she tries to arrange for a meeting with me and her priest.

00:31:01She thinks that I need an intervention or an exorcism or something.

00:31:05I'm sorry, that's not funny.

00:31:07It's kind of funny.

00:31:08Come with me.

00:31:13Where are we going?

00:31:19Calling my grandma.

00:31:20No, Miles, are you insane?

00:31:22It's after midnight.

00:31:23She loves me.

00:31:23I'm her favorite.

00:31:26Okay, okay.

00:31:27We'll call my sister.

00:31:28Miles, what are you doing?

00:31:29Too late.

00:31:30Hello?

00:31:34Meg?

00:31:35I want to ask you a question.

00:31:38Why is it so loud?

00:31:40Miles, how is it possible for you to call for me from 500 miles away?

00:31:44Big brother intuition.

00:31:45Just ask your question.

00:31:46Okay, so I met this girl.

00:31:48She's super fucking hot.

00:31:50Gross, Miles.

00:31:51Sorry, okay.

00:31:52So she writes sexy books, like that's her job.

00:31:55Dirty, kinky shit, I think.

00:31:58And she was saying that grandmothers hated her, and I said our grandma would be totally into it.

00:32:03True or false?

00:32:04Duh, Grams is a freak.

00:32:05Totally true.

00:32:06So, who is this girl?

00:32:13I want to read her stuff.

00:32:15I'll find out.

00:32:17But I'll call you back, mate.

00:32:19Don't fuck that dude tonight.

00:32:24What happened?

00:32:25What did I say?

00:32:25What are we doing?

00:32:28I don't know.

00:32:28I just kissed you, I guess.

00:32:30Yes, you did.

00:32:31And as hot as that was, we have to stop.

00:32:34Right.

00:32:35We're in public.

00:32:36I like you, Mercedes, but I'm not in the position to like someone right now.

00:32:43Wait, what?

00:32:46After everything that you just said with your sister?

00:32:53Got it.

00:32:54Well, I'm sorry to put you through such a difficult situation.

00:32:58Mercedes, wait.

00:32:59I don't want things to be weird.

00:33:02Well, you shouldn't have flirted with me then.

00:33:04See you around, Miles.

00:33:20Why are you here?

00:33:21Oh, my God.

00:33:22What is that horrible smell?

00:33:25It's nothing.

00:33:27Wait, wait.

00:33:27Is that a tire-scented candle?

00:33:29No.

00:33:29What is it?

00:33:30It's good.

00:33:31Stop it!

00:33:32You're going to make me so whack so much more!

00:33:34Let go so I can see what you're hiding!

00:33:37Kate!

00:33:38Hello?

00:33:38Don't stop on my account.

00:33:45Oh, burnt rubber-scented soy candle?

00:33:49I can't believe this is a thing.

00:33:51Jesus, H.

00:33:53You got it bad, Kate.

00:33:54I know!

00:33:55I can't write a damn word, and all I want to do is go back to Tire Depot.

00:33:59Then go!

00:34:01So you kissed him and he turned you down?

00:34:04Big deal!

00:34:05What, are you in the seventh grade?

00:34:07Go back to the Tire Depot!

00:34:08She has a point, Kate.

00:34:09It'll be awkward for a day.

00:34:11Three tops.

00:34:11He'll probably stay in the garage and ignore you.

00:34:14You're right.

00:34:17My house smells like shit now, too.

00:34:22Fine.

00:34:23I'll go back.

00:34:24But only because burnt rubber is not the same as new rubber.

00:34:54How's the book coming?

00:35:16Coming along.

00:35:18This is the point in the story where I rip the couple apart and ruin everything they thought they knew about each other.

00:35:24Ouch.

00:35:26Can't they just be happy?

00:35:28What's dramatic about happy?

00:35:30My readers like the pain, the torture.

00:35:35Makes them make up sex that much better.

00:35:39You know, my sister texted me.

00:35:42She asked for your full author name so she could look you up.

00:35:45Really?

00:35:46I warned you.

00:35:47We are a family full of readers.

00:35:49You're going to laugh.

00:35:55I was drunk when I came up with it.

00:35:59My full pen name is Mercedes Lee Loveletter.

00:36:07What's your real last name?

00:36:10It's Smith.

00:36:11Also, I write a lot of BDSM.

00:36:21So does this mean we don't have to be awkward?

00:36:24Yeah.

00:36:25Friends.

00:36:26Good.

00:36:28Because as a friend, I was wondering if you might be able to help me with some research for my next book.

00:36:35What did you have in mind?

00:36:37You're going to throw your leg over, but don't let your ankles touch this area here.

00:36:40Got it?

00:36:48It'll make me feel better if you wear it.

00:36:50It'll protect you a little.

00:36:51Okay, get on.

00:37:11Okay, you ready?

00:37:12Ready.

00:37:15Woo!

00:37:42Woo!

00:37:43Chica, Chica, Chica, Ta-ra-ra-ra, boom-di-ay.

00:37:46Chica, Chica, Chica, Chica, boom-di-ay.

00:37:48Ta-ra-ra-ra, boom-di-ay.

00:37:50Chica, Chica, Chica, Chica, boom-di-ay.

00:37:52Ta-ra-ra-ra, boom-di-ay.

00:37:54Chica, Chica, Chica, Chica, boom-di-ay.

00:37:58Oh, that was incredible.

00:38:01You weren't scared?

00:38:03No. Was I supposed to be?

00:38:05My ex hated this thing.

00:38:06My ex is a fool.

00:38:08I mean, I understand that motorcycles are dangerous,

00:38:11but the danger is what makes it exciting.

00:38:13You took the words right out of my mouth.

00:38:15Unfortunately, my ex liked a different kind of danger.

00:38:20Do you want to tell me what you mean by that,

00:38:23or do you want to say a word again?

00:38:26My ex loved the cheating kind of danger.

00:38:29Yikes.

00:38:32It wasn't just one guy. That's the hardest part.

00:38:35How you can bald-faced lie to someone you care about,

00:38:38that's not the fun kind of danger for me.

00:38:40Not at all.

00:38:44I'm so sorry.

00:38:46It's fine.

00:38:48I blame myself for not walking away sooner.

00:38:51She made me a jealous head case with baggage for days.

00:38:55Yeah. Jealousy is the worst.

00:38:59Although, I will tell you, from a writer's standpoint,

00:39:03readers love a possessive man.

00:39:05Is that right?

00:39:06Right.

00:39:07So I should be thanking my ex for making me a possessive asshole?

00:39:09God, no.

00:39:10She sounds like too much of an asshole to get any credit for the man you are today.

00:39:16Well, your ex sounded like an asshole too.

00:39:18I still can't believe he made you lie about your job to his family.

00:39:21Right?

00:39:22Why did we ever date them?

00:39:25I ask myself that all the time.

00:39:26I guess you could say that if we didn't go through all that, then we might not be here, enjoying this awesome view.

00:39:40You're missing something really beautiful.

00:39:45No, I'm not.

00:39:47I can't figure you out, Miles.

00:39:53I can't figure me out either.

00:39:57How's it going?

00:40:13No way.

00:40:14You just finished?

00:40:15I just finished.

00:40:18Congratulations, Mercedes.

00:40:20Couldn't have done it without you, Miles.

00:40:22We should celebrate.

00:40:23Buy you a drink?

00:40:24Actually, I'm having a little The End party at my house on Friday.

00:40:29I want to come by.

00:40:31I'd love to.

00:40:32Great.

00:40:42Don't forget to call me Mercedes tonight.

00:40:44Mercedes!

00:40:45Woo!

00:40:46See?

00:40:47Hi, everyone!

00:40:48Woo!

00:40:49Mercedes is doing a keg stand to celebrate finishing her book!

00:40:53What?!

00:40:54No way!

00:40:55Mercedes is not doing a keg stand because he made me buy that shitty IPA.

00:40:58Mercedes likes light beer and complimentary coffee and riding sex pants!

00:41:03Yeah!

00:41:04Woo!

00:41:05And hard and fast wall sex!

00:41:07Yes!

00:41:08Woo!

00:41:09And a formal scene where a guy takes off a girl's panties and fingers them in his tuxedo pocket all night long!

00:41:15I was really specific for you!

00:41:16Miles!

00:41:17I'm gonna go get a drink.

00:41:18Uh, I'm gonna follow that guy.

00:41:20Uh, I'm gonna follow that guy.

00:41:21I'm Lindsay.

00:41:22Best friend and, uh, neighbor.

00:41:23There's my, uh, tiki bar over there.

00:41:24Can I get you something to drink?

00:41:25I'm Miles.

00:41:26Thanks.

00:41:27I'm good for now.

00:41:28Okay.

00:41:29I'm gonna follow those guys.

00:41:30Bye.

00:41:31Can we go somewhere and talk?

00:41:32Sure.

00:41:33Uh, I'm gonna follow that guy.

00:41:34I'm Lindsay.

00:41:35Best friend and, uh, neighbor.

00:41:36There's my, uh, tiki bar over there.

00:41:37Can I get you something to drink?

00:41:38I'm Miles.

00:41:39Thanks.

00:41:40I'm good for now.

00:41:41Okay.

00:41:42I'm gonna follow those guys.

00:41:43Bye.

00:41:44Can we go somewhere and talk?

00:41:45Sure.

00:41:46You have a roommate?

00:41:47Kind of.

00:41:48Yes.

00:41:49No, no.

00:41:50No, no, no.

00:41:51No, no, no.

00:41:52No, no, no.

00:41:53No, no, no, no, no.

00:41:54No, no, no, no, no.

00:41:55No, no, no.

00:41:56No, no, no.

00:41:57I'm good for now.

00:41:58Okay.

00:41:59I'm gonna follow those guys.

00:42:00Bye.

00:42:01Can we go somewhere and talk?

00:42:02Sure.

00:42:03You have a roommate?

00:42:04Kind of.

00:42:16So it's a guy?

00:42:19Yes.

00:42:22Figures.

00:42:24It's not that Dean guy, right?

00:42:26You said he's your neighbor?

00:42:27He is my neighbor. It's not Dean.

00:42:30Then who is it?

00:42:32No one.

00:42:35I'm sorry, I should just go.

00:42:37My roommate, uh, is gay.

00:42:42Seriously?

00:42:43And he's out of town for the summer, so...

00:42:49Why are you acting like this?

00:42:54I thought you only wanted to be friends.

00:43:02It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

00:43:09What can I do to help?

00:43:13I'm overprotective, I'm overbearing, arrogant.

00:43:19Okay.

00:43:20Pretty much everything I do is in the extreme.

00:43:22I try not to be jealous, I do.

00:43:25She...

00:43:25I'm not her.

00:43:26I know you're not her.

00:43:28I just really need you to not do things to make me jealous.

00:43:32Why?

00:43:34Because it'll make me want to fuck you

00:43:36so you don't ever want to look at another guy again.

00:43:38Prove it.

00:43:45I hope you know what you're asking for, Ed.

00:43:51Mercedes.

00:43:51Shirt thief.

00:44:07Shirt thief.

00:44:15Shirt thief.

00:44:16I've been looking for this shirt for 10 minutes.

00:44:27Are you in a pancake mood or cut your arm off and run with?

00:44:32I could eat.

00:44:34Go sit down.

00:44:46I feel like I need to tell you that I didn't come here last night to do that.

00:44:58Okay.

00:44:59I mean, don't get me wrong.

00:45:02It was really good.

00:45:03Fucking great, actually.

00:45:04It was, wasn't it?

00:45:06But I just want you to know that wasn't my plan.

00:45:10Is this the part where you tell me that you're not in a position to like someone again?

00:45:13Um, maybe.

00:45:17That's fine.

00:45:20It is?

00:45:23This is no big deal, Miles.

00:45:25We had sex.

00:45:27You didn't ask me to go study.

00:45:29I'm not getting this twisted up.

00:45:34So you're good with this?

00:45:36Just being casual?

00:45:38Yeah.

00:45:40I'm a workaholic, so it's not like I have time to devote to a boyfriend.

00:45:43Though I might need your help with some book research.

00:45:52Book research?

00:45:53I thought you were done.

00:45:55Oh, how little you know about writing.

00:45:58Tire Depot was the easy stuff.

00:46:02I want help with the bedroom stuff.

00:46:05You write erotic novels.

00:46:07What more could you need to know?

00:46:09I don't know.

00:46:10Okay.

00:46:11So for my new book, I want to write from a dual point of view.

00:46:15So one chapter will be in the female voice, and the next chapter will be in the male voice,

00:46:20and I'll alternate between the two.

00:46:22I know what dual point of view is, Mercedes.

00:46:25Okay.

00:46:26Sorry.

00:46:26So, I'm going to need your help getting into the mind of a man.

00:46:35Should we start now?

00:46:36I'd hate to see your education suffer.

00:46:42Actually, since we're sticking with this whole friends with benefits thing,

00:46:45I was wondering if you could help me with a little project first.

00:46:51Like a naked kind of project?

00:46:54I mean, you can be naked if you want to, but it might not be safe.

00:47:00Could you help me move my roommate's shit downstairs and into a moving pod?

00:47:08Absolutely.

00:47:09Friends have to earn their benefits sometimes.

00:47:15Thanks.

00:47:16Oh my god.

00:47:17Hannah.

00:47:18I have entered into a casual friends with benefits situation with a mechanic from Tire Depot

00:47:23who thinks my name is Mercedes.

00:47:25Wait, this is actually happening to you?

00:47:27Like in real life?

00:47:27Yes!

00:47:28And I like him way more than just a friend, so I'm in crisis mode.

00:47:32What do I do?

00:47:33Besides phone him every chance you get?

00:47:35Yeah, I mean, my alter ego's taking the reins here.

00:47:37I fully understand.

00:47:39And I've kind of been avoiding him this week to sort of play cool so that he doesn't know that I like him.

00:47:44Which you do.

00:47:45Yes, but I don't want him to know that.

00:47:47I mean, is this relationship worth me telling him my real name?

00:47:50Or is it just sex?

00:47:51Are you done?

00:47:52I could use some sage advice here.

00:47:54Listen to me.

00:47:56Here's what you're going to do.

00:47:57You are going to go camping.

00:48:00Camping?

00:48:01Camping.

00:48:02Why?

00:48:04Kate, outdoorsy guys love that shit.

00:48:06Just tell him it's for book research and you need his help.

00:48:08Ooh, that's good because I actually use that excuse.

00:48:11Perfect.

00:48:12You're going to be adorable and fumbling and not know how to cast a fishing pole.

00:48:17And he's going to realize how much fun it is to go camping and get to fuck in a tent.

00:48:21By the end of the trip, you'll know if you need to fish or cut bait.

00:48:24Hmm.

00:48:25You should be a writer.

00:48:26Oh.

00:48:27Hannah, this is good.

00:48:28You're a genius.

00:48:29I'm going camping.

00:48:30Just let me know where I have the pizza delivered to.

00:48:33Ha ha, bish.

00:48:34Hey, Kate.

00:48:35You here for a cronut?

00:48:36You know it.

00:48:37It's going to be a hot minute before the new badge is ready, but go ahead and take a number and we'll bring them right out.

00:48:41I'll take two and a cup of coffee.

00:48:43You got it.

00:48:48My dick misses you.

00:48:50Your dick is insatiable.

00:48:52Are you dry-hopping me?

00:48:53Uh-huh.

00:48:55Tell me what you're thinking.

00:48:56I want you naked and in a bed now.

00:49:00How are the words flowing?

00:49:02Not as good as the other night.

00:49:03You are soaking.

00:49:05You're at the bakery.

00:49:06I could think of something else I'd rather be eating.

00:49:08Let me take care of you.

00:49:10Come on, my writer.

00:49:15Feeling inspired?

00:49:175,000 words in three hours.

00:49:20It's Tire Depot magic right there.

00:49:24Maybe it's Miles Hudson magic.

00:49:26Oh, Jesus.

00:49:34Say hi, Dean.

00:49:37I was literally standing there for almost five minutes.

00:49:39I'm reading my texts.

00:49:41So, what is so important that you had to see me?

00:49:46I don't know what you mean.

00:49:48We do this every week.

00:49:51Yeah.

00:49:52You've never texted me three times the day of to make sure that I was coming.

00:49:59Dean.

00:49:59I saw his truck outside your place a couple nights ago.

00:50:07Whose truck?

00:50:09Miles.

00:50:09Who else?

00:50:12How do you know it was his truck?

00:50:14Because I don't know any other guys in Boulder who would drive a beastly vehicle like that.

00:50:19Oh, my God.

00:50:20You're such a snob.

00:50:21So, he spent the night?

00:50:24What, did you come back and check in the morning?

00:50:28Maybe.

00:50:30Stop worrying.

00:50:32We're just fooling around.

00:50:34It's nothing serious.

00:50:34See, that is exactly what I'm worried about.

00:50:38The guy rejected you once already.

00:50:40Thank you for reminding me.

00:50:42Any guy that jerks you around like that is an idiot.

00:50:45He's not an idiot.

00:50:46He's a mechanic at a tire depot.

00:50:48How bright can he be?

00:50:49Are you kidding me?

00:50:51Hey, just calm down.

00:50:53Coming from a high school dropout.

00:50:55I got my GED.

00:50:58And I am self-educated.

00:51:00In what?

00:51:01Being an asshat?

00:51:03I surround myself with people who are inclusive and nonjudgmental because I have a weird job.

00:51:10I don't want judgy friends in my corner because that would make me a hypocrite.

00:51:15And Miles is so encouraging about what I do.

00:51:17More encouraging than you have ever been.

00:51:21And he's not dumb.

00:51:23At all.

00:51:24He's actually really fucking insightful.

00:51:26And you might see that if you quit looking down your nose at people.

00:51:31Don't go, Kate.

00:51:32No, I'm sorry.

00:51:33But if you're going to start acting like this, then I don't see how we can continue to be friends.

00:51:38Kate.

00:51:43I like you.

00:51:45Yeah, well, I liked you too until you started acting like a douche nozzle.

00:51:49No.

00:51:49I mean, I really like you.

00:51:53And I...

00:51:54Oh, shit.

00:51:55I don't think it's something I can ignore anymore.

00:51:58I mean...

00:51:59How long?

00:52:03A couple years.

00:52:07But I was with Lindsay and you were with that douchebag, Dryston.

00:52:11Why didn't you tell me?

00:52:13I didn't want to be a rebound.

00:52:15You're hooking up with a guy who still doesn't even know your real name.

00:52:18How do you think that's going to end?

00:52:19He wants it casual, but I want the whole thing.

00:52:24The good, the bad, all of it.

00:52:28I'm sorry, Dean.

00:52:31But I just don't feel the same way.

00:52:37But you are one of my best friends, and I don't want to change that.

00:52:43I need you to go.

00:52:45But why?

00:52:46We all have our own little places, and this is my tire depot.

00:52:54Please.

00:53:01I am sorry, Dean.

00:53:12Hey.

00:53:14Who's that?

00:53:16A carburetor.

00:53:20What does it do?

00:53:23Um, kind of a lot.

00:53:25Do you really want to know?

00:53:27Yes.

00:53:27Well, it mixes the proper ratio of gas and air inside of an engine for combustion to occur.

00:53:36Nowadays, most cars have fuel injectors, but the classics still run on these puppies.

00:53:41Interesting.

00:53:41It's kind of like how a candle needs oxygen to burn, combustion of an engine can't take place without the air the carburetor brings in.

00:53:51Kind of like how an orgasm can't be achieved without friction.

00:54:02Sure.

00:54:04Sure.

00:54:04You could draw that parallel.

00:54:06I would like to draw that parallel soon.

00:54:09Did you have something in mind?

00:54:11Watch your step up here.

00:54:16Oh!

00:54:16Smells so good.

00:54:21Miles, this is perfect.

00:54:24I didn't know girls could be this excited about camping.

00:54:27Well, don't judge a book by its cover, mister.

00:54:29Look, there's a path that leads right to the water.

00:54:34Perfect.

00:54:35Come on.

00:54:36We got work to do.

00:54:37Gotta set up camp.

00:54:51This looks brand new.

00:54:52Yeah.

00:54:53I just do a sleeping bag, usually.

00:54:55So you bought this for me?

00:54:57No.

00:54:59It's not only for you.

00:55:00This will save my knees big time.

00:55:02You are such a horny bastard.

00:55:05Says the smut rider.

00:55:06Mm-hmm.

00:55:07Seriously.

00:55:08Seriously.

00:55:10Take your shorts off.

00:55:23Take your shorts off.

00:55:25Take your shorts off.

00:55:30I figured you were thirsty.

00:55:32We've earned these.

00:55:34Yeah, camping is hard.

00:55:40Mountaineer suits you.

00:55:47I'm just in a good mood.

00:55:49It's amazing how much nicer life is with no drama.

00:55:56Do you ever talk to your ex?

00:55:58Not a word, and that's good.

00:56:03You never told me how you found out she was cheating on you.

00:56:06She got pregnant.

00:56:08With some rich old guy's kid.

00:56:10We were on a break at the time.

00:56:13Wow.

00:56:15The layers.

00:56:19Do you think that she got pregnant on purpose?

00:56:22No.

00:56:25Yes?

00:56:27I don't know.

00:56:28Probably.

00:56:30I have to wonder what kind of a fuck would I was to not really realize.

00:56:33She was always money obsessed.

00:56:35Thought being a mechanic was too blue-collar.

00:56:38Wanted me to make more money.

00:56:40You seem like you're doing just fine to me.

00:56:43See?

00:56:46I'm just pissed off I wasted the best years of my life with her.

00:56:49Who said they were the best years?

00:56:52Look around you, Miles.

00:56:54It's a pretty beautiful day.

00:56:55You want for nothing.

00:56:57That is an incredible quality in a person.

00:57:03And I mean, look at you.

00:57:05You're smoking hot.

00:57:06You got a great job, house, friends.

00:57:10Really sexy fuck buddy.

00:57:14So don't sweat the past.

00:57:18Focus on the now.

00:57:20Seriously, right now, my bobber disappeared several minutes ago and I don't know it.

00:57:24Shit, you got a bite.

00:57:30Are you kidding me?

00:57:31I got a bicycle tire.

00:57:35What the hell, Colorado?

00:57:37Way to keep it classy.

00:57:39My hands hurt.

00:57:41Surely you could see the irony in this.

00:57:43Babe, you got a tire.

00:57:45This is kismet.

00:57:46Truth or dare?

00:58:07Truth.

00:58:09Do you ever get horny in the garage at tire depot?

00:58:12What?

00:58:12You're working on a customer's car and your hands are getting really dirty and you're just

00:58:21really digging in there and you just.

00:58:30I'm afraid not.

00:58:32Damn.

00:58:38But classic car work on the other hand?

00:58:42If I'm working on one of those and an old car that hasn't run in fucking decades and suddenly

00:58:46roars to life, then hell yes.

00:58:50Rock solid.

00:58:54Ha.

00:58:55I knew it.

00:58:57Perverts attract perverts.

00:58:58Okay.

00:59:08Truth or dare?

00:59:10Dare.

00:59:11Ooh, somebody has secrets.

00:59:13Shut up.

00:59:15Skinny dip in the lake.

00:59:18The lake that birthed my blessed tire.

00:59:21No way.

00:59:22Who knows what the hell else is in that thing?

00:59:24It's fine.

00:59:25I knew you wouldn't do it.

00:59:27All talk and no action.

00:59:31Um, need I remind you who has been sneaking into tire depot for weeks now?

00:59:38You call that dangerous?

00:59:40I am consuming complimentary beverages without service miles.

00:59:44That is just as bad as thieving.

00:59:47Such a cold, hard criminal.

00:59:51Fine.

00:59:51I'll do it.

00:59:52But you have to do it with me.

00:59:55And why would I do that?

00:59:57Because I'll be naked.

00:59:58Can you act like I'm naked?

01:00:22Woo hoo!

01:00:23Woo hoo!

01:00:24Woo hoo.

01:00:27Mercedes, do you feel like, do you feel that, feel what, oh my god, that's freezing.

01:00:57Good morning.

01:01:21Morning.

01:01:23You've been busy this morning.

01:01:37Yeah, it's a muddy mess, so I figured we should head back early.

01:01:41Oh, okay.

01:01:46What can I do to help?

01:01:51I forgot the pancake mix.

01:01:56Don't read into that.

01:02:02Well, thanks for the help with the research.

01:02:14Anytime.

01:02:26You okay?

01:02:27I'm just tired.

01:02:28Shouldn't have gotten the mattress pad.

01:02:30Hmm.

01:02:31Looks like you got company.

01:02:35I'll see you later, Mercedes.

01:02:40Okay.

01:02:41Bye.

01:02:42Hi, Dean.

01:02:43Hey, Kate.

01:02:44Want to come in for some coffee?

01:02:58Is it complimentary?

01:03:01For people who aren't assholes, it is.

01:03:11Nothing to say about that loud muffler on Miles' truck?

01:03:13I'm surprised you know what a muffler is.

01:03:18I'm learning.

01:03:19I am too.

01:03:21I'm really sorry, Kate.

01:03:25Come on in then.

01:03:31Did you spend the night at Miles' house last night?

01:03:35Are you really asking that?

01:03:37I'm just making small talk, Kate.

01:03:39I promise.

01:03:40No judgment.

01:03:41We were camping.

01:03:43Camping?

01:03:44It was for book research.

01:03:46And it was really fun.

01:03:48Writing something different?

01:03:50Trying to.

01:03:52Inspiration must be flowing.

01:03:54It has its moments.

01:03:57And Miles is the guy that brings this out in you.

01:04:00He's certainly not hurting things.

01:04:03So different for me.

01:04:07Dean, look.

01:04:10I never had a clue that you had feelings for me.

01:04:13If I had, I would have done so many things differently.

01:04:16Like what?

01:04:18I don't know.

01:04:20Maybe come over less often.

01:04:23I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise.

01:04:27No, no.

01:04:29You were just being yourself.

01:04:32It's pretty magnetic.

01:04:35Weird to get a compliment from someone you just rejected.

01:04:42I think that if you really like him, you need to come clean.

01:04:45Start by telling him your real name and end with the fact that you still live with your ex, Kate.

01:04:50The longer you wait, the harder it'll be.

01:04:52But I moved his stuff out at least.

01:04:54If he really cares, he'll forgive you.

01:04:58I'm telling you this as your friend.

01:05:01So we're still friends?

01:05:04Only if I can still wear my fancy pants.

01:05:07Done.

01:05:09We've been here five minutes.

01:05:11How much longer do you need?

01:05:12It's a fucking tire.

01:05:14How long can it take?

01:05:15Just checking the warranty, sir.

01:05:17Uh, if for some reason your tire isn't repairable, we'd have to-

01:05:20Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:05:21Why can't my tire be repaired?

01:05:22Well, if there's a puncture in the sidewall, those aren't fixable, unfortunately.

01:05:26So we'd have to go in-

01:05:27What a rip-off!

01:05:28Who's the manager?

01:05:29I want to talk to them right now.

01:05:31Bruh, who's that chick?

01:05:34She's a customer service ref.

01:05:36Perfect.

01:05:37We'll take her.

01:05:38I'm afraid you don't get to pick.

01:05:41Yeah, I think we could if we wanted to.

01:05:45Hey!

01:05:46This isn't ordering a girl off the fucking internet, moron.

01:05:49Do you want your fucking tire fixed or not?

01:05:52Buddy.

01:05:53Manager.

01:05:54Now.

01:05:55Just go back to the shop.

01:05:57I'll let my uncle deal with these guys, okay?

01:05:59Yeah, I wanted you to go back to the shop and let your boy talk to this out.

01:06:03What kind of business are you running?

01:06:12Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:06:14What'd that licorice ever do to you?

01:06:17Nothing.

01:06:21What's going on with you?

01:06:23You look ready to rip someone's head off.

01:06:29Nice dress.

01:06:33Mmm.

01:06:37You like it?

01:06:40So long as you don't twirl on it.

01:06:47What is wrong with you?

01:06:50Nothing.

01:06:51Just some entitled customers getting on my nerves.

01:06:53Do me a favor and don't go into the customer comfort center today, okay?

01:07:00Sure.

01:07:04Would me going over to yours tonight cheer you up?

01:07:08Tonight?

01:07:09After work, maybe?

01:07:11I want to see your house, specifically your garage.

01:07:15You know, research.

01:07:17Get our hands dirty.

01:07:19Fine.

01:07:20I want to see you.

01:07:21I want to see you.

01:07:24Wow.

01:07:26Moody's kind of hot on you.

01:07:35Oh, my God, Miles.

01:07:37This is stunning.

01:07:391965 Ford pickup.

01:07:41Got the paint done last month.

01:07:42Interior last week.

01:07:44All she needs now is a new carburetor.

01:07:47For combustion.

01:07:49You remember that?

01:07:51Duh.

01:07:53The orgasm of the engine.

01:07:55Well, it might take a while.

01:07:57I can't find the right one to save my life.

01:08:00They're pretty rare.

01:08:01And expensive.

01:08:04You said it was your grandpa's?

01:08:07Looks like it belongs in a Pixar film.

01:08:10Yeah.

01:08:13He passed away two years ago.

01:08:15I'm so sorry to hear that.

01:08:18He was 77, so...

01:08:20He had a solid run.

01:08:22Thought he was going to live forever.

01:08:29Hey, he always kept little candies in the glove box.

01:08:32You want one?

01:08:34Oh, no.

01:08:36No.

01:08:37Those were your grandpa's.

01:08:39They should stay where they are.

01:08:41I wish I had it running already.

01:08:46It was sort of a dying promise I made to him.

01:08:51Joss always got pissed at me when I worked on this truck.

01:08:55I feel bad I haven't finished it yet.

01:08:57Miles.

01:08:59Look at this thing.

01:09:01It's art.

01:09:03And you've already done so much to it.

01:09:07He would have loved you.

01:09:09Oh, yeah?

01:09:11Yeah.

01:09:13You're real.

01:09:15You don't put on a show for people.

01:09:17Everything you say is exactly what you are.

01:09:19He would have loved your name, too.

01:09:21Mercedes.

01:09:23Hot cars.

01:09:25What?

01:09:27What?

01:09:29What?

01:09:31What?

01:09:33What?

01:09:35What?

01:09:37What?

01:09:39What?

01:09:41What?

01:09:43What?

01:09:45What?

01:09:47What?

01:09:48What?

01:09:49What?

01:09:50What?

01:09:51What?

01:09:52What?

01:09:53What?

01:09:54What?

01:09:55What?

01:09:56What?

01:09:57What?

01:09:58What?

01:09:59What?

01:10:00What?

01:10:01What?

01:10:02What?

01:10:03What?

01:10:04What?

01:10:05What?

01:10:06What?

01:10:07What?

01:10:08What?

01:10:09What?

01:10:10What?

01:10:11What?

01:10:12What?

01:10:13What?

01:10:14What?

01:10:15What?

01:10:16What?

01:10:17What?

01:10:18What?

01:10:19What?

01:10:20But anyway, we were out there.

01:10:25Honey, I'm home.

01:10:26Oh, shit.

01:10:28Dryston!

01:10:31Hi, Katie.

01:10:33Give us a hug.

01:10:35Best entrepreneurs in the state of Colorado.

01:10:37That's right, man.

01:10:39Dude, are you even listening to me?

01:10:42Yeah, sorry.

01:10:44Your uncle wants you to buy him out.

01:10:46That's fucking awesome.

01:10:47It's awesome for both of us.

01:10:50I want you by my side.

01:10:54Maybe as manager or fucking parts director.

01:10:59Maybe you can even open that vintage car garage

01:11:03under the Tire Depot umbrella.

01:11:05Work on classic cars more often.

01:11:08Put your granddad's truck in our showroom.

01:11:11Damn!

01:11:12We'd add up everything under one roof.

01:11:14Tires, auto repair, antique car restorations.

01:11:18I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

01:11:21I guess that wouldn't suck.

01:11:24Come on, man!

01:11:27I thought this would cheer you up.

01:11:29It is. It does.

01:11:31I'm happy for you.

01:11:33It's just...

01:11:36Mercedes hasn't texted me back in days and that's unlike her.

01:11:42You're pining after your fuck buddy.

01:11:44She's not a fuck buddy.

01:11:46Watch how you fucking speak about her.

01:11:49I'm not joking.

01:11:50Okay.

01:11:51But don't let that girl get in your head and force you to miss out on a great opportunity.

01:12:03Come on.

01:12:05Let's go celebrate.

01:12:07Ha ha ha ha.

01:12:09Mmm. Mmm.

01:12:11Dryston is back.

01:12:13Shut up.

01:12:14What did you say?

01:12:16I told him that his stuff is in storage.

01:12:18I was changing the locks.

01:12:20I'll pay him the deposit and that I'm not moving.

01:12:23Good for you.

01:12:25You finally got Dryston out of your life for good and it was about damn time.

01:12:30Now I just have to come clean to Miles about my name.

01:12:36Hmm.

01:12:37I've been avoiding him until this Dryston stuff got sorted.

01:12:41Real life is so much more complicated than fiction.

01:12:45I just want a real life romance.

01:12:47You got this.

01:12:48I've got nothing except a full bladder.

01:12:51I'm gonna go pee and get us refills.

01:12:54Yes, please.

01:12:55Hmm.

01:13:02Ah, damn, Katie.

01:13:04Did you look this good when I left?

01:13:07Did you follow me here?

01:13:09I didn't have to.

01:13:10It's her favorite spot.

01:13:11Oh, this is so typical.

01:13:13What?

01:13:14You come crawling into town and think that you can get whatever you want.

01:13:19What?

01:13:21I don't remember your tits looking this good.

01:13:24I need a refresher.

01:13:25Don't be a pig, Dryston.

01:13:27Hmm.

01:13:28Don't be a bitch, Katie.

01:13:33Hey, what's up, bro?

01:13:36Dude, long time no see.

01:13:37How you been?

01:13:43Miles, what are you doing here?

01:13:46I'm here with my buddy.

01:13:48What about you?

01:13:49Well, I'm here with Kate.

01:13:51What are the odds?

01:13:52Who's Kate?

01:13:59Fuck.

01:14:01I said your stuff is in storage, Dryston.

01:14:05You can be a real bitch, you know that?

01:14:06What the fuck did you just call her?

01:14:10Excuse you?

01:14:11Excuse you.

01:14:12I won't ask again.

01:14:13This conversation has nothing to do with you, wrench head.

01:14:16Dryston.

01:14:17You were the asshole at Tire Depot the other day.

01:14:20You know this fuckwit, Mercedes?

01:14:23You think her name is Mercedes.

01:14:26I was gonna tell you everything.

01:14:27Tell me what?

01:14:28Who the fuck is this guy?

01:14:29He's no one.

01:14:30No.

01:14:31No, I just live with you.

01:14:33This is your gay roommate?

01:14:35I didn't fuck her like I was gay.

01:14:38Miles, please let me explain.

01:14:39Ooh.

01:14:40Yeah, Katie.

01:14:41Why don't you explain?

01:14:42Why is he calling you Katie?

01:14:44Because that's her real name, moron.

01:14:46Mercedes is basically the hooker name.

01:14:48She made up to write those stupid trashy books.

01:14:51Call her fucking name again and you will regret it.

01:14:53Miles, don't.

01:14:54No, no.

01:14:55You couldn't have the trashy cunt.

01:14:56She's not suitable for mixed company anyway.

01:14:58Miles, I can explain.

01:14:59Don't talk to me.

01:15:00Miles, I need to explain.

01:15:01What, Mercedes?

01:15:02Or is it Katie?

01:15:03It's Kate.

01:15:04Explain why I punched a guy in the face for a girl whose name I don't even know.

01:15:07I was going to tell you.

01:15:08Makes sense.

01:15:09Why did you explain?

01:15:10I'm not.

01:15:11Miles, I can explain.

01:15:12Why do you explain?

01:15:13Don't talk to me.

01:15:14Miles, I need to explain.

01:15:15What, Mercedes?

01:15:17Or is it Katie?

01:15:18It's Kate.

01:15:19Explain why I punched a guy in the face for a girl whose name I don't even know.

01:15:22I was going to tell you.

01:15:25After I fell in love with you?

01:15:30I'm still the same person, Miles.

01:15:32I am just as much Mercedes as I am Kate.

01:15:35Why fucking lie about it?

01:15:36Because with my ex, I got used to hiding that part of myself.

01:15:39But with you, I've never had to, not once.

01:15:42Kate Smith is who I am when I'm not telling people what I do.

01:15:48And what happened with your sister, that's something that's never happened to me before.

01:15:52You lied to me.

01:15:54Even when you knew about my past, you had plenty of chances to open up.

01:15:58Do you know what a fucking idiot I feel like for calling Mercedes all this time?

01:16:01Every time we had sex, I'm a joke to you.

01:16:08You are not a joke.

01:16:10I am.

01:16:13I'm sorry.

01:16:15I got carried away.

01:16:18I liked you so much.

01:16:20I've always liked you as more than friends with benefits.

01:16:22And I thought that I could be this cool, casual Mercedes with no strings attached.

01:16:27But the truth is, is that I am just plain old boring Kate Smith.

01:16:31Who is totally falling for you, Miles Hudson.

01:16:36How can I even trust you?

01:16:39You're just as bad as my ex.

01:16:42I'm out, Kate, Mercedes, whoever you are.

01:16:46You can keep your drama, your lies, keep living your life as your author name, your real name, with your boyfriend, your ex-gay boyfriend.

01:16:55This is officially the end of our story.

01:16:57It's been two weeks.

01:17:04Oh, stop.

01:17:06He was upset.

01:17:07You made him feel like a fool.

01:17:09He'll get over it.

01:17:10He's not returning any of my calls.

01:17:12That's because you haven't made your grand gesture yet.

01:17:14Grand gesture?

01:17:15Mm-hmm.

01:17:17He's really good, Dean.

01:17:18Oh, thank you.

01:17:18What grand gesture?

01:17:20Kate, you write this stuff.

01:17:22Now you have to live it.

01:17:25You need to make a grand gesture that shows your hero that you care deeply.

01:17:29Wow, you know that you fucked up royally.

01:17:31You still know him.

01:17:32You know him and care about him.

01:17:34And the grandness of this gesture proves it.

01:17:37Wow.

01:17:37That was a mouthful.

01:17:39She's right, Kate.

01:17:40He cares about you, but it's got to be big.

01:17:43Any ideas?

01:17:53Yeah, turn here.

01:17:54Turn here.

01:17:55There's no turn.

01:17:56No, it's the...

01:17:56The map is wrong.

01:17:57We launched service like 10 minutes ago.

01:18:05Oh, right.

01:18:06It's really on 14th.

01:18:08Do not load it.

01:18:09Do we have a charger?

01:18:10You got the drive.

01:18:11We'll be right here.

01:18:31You got this.

01:18:31Mom's worried about you.

01:18:58What?

01:19:00You haven't emailed in two weeks.

01:19:01You know you do it like clockwork.

01:19:04Why are you calling so early?

01:19:07Is Joss there?

01:19:09No.

01:19:10Why would you think that?

01:19:12I don't know.

01:19:13Mom and I thought you might have gotten back together and didn't want to tell us.

01:19:16It's not Joss.

01:19:18I've been seeing that author girl.

01:19:20Oh, man.

01:19:20I didn't realize you were seeing her.

01:19:22I'm not.

01:19:23I mean, I was, but it's over now.

01:19:27Why?

01:19:28Because she lied to me about some shit.

01:19:31And I'm not bringing that noise back into my life.

01:19:34Been there, done that.

01:19:35Don't think that every girl that isn't perfect is like Jocelyn.

01:19:39Look, I don't know this girl, but I do know you.

01:19:42And you sounded so crazy happy that night you called me to talk about her.

01:19:46I was.

01:19:46Dude, I called mom the very next day to tell her about how different you sounded.

01:19:51We were excited.

01:19:53Seriously?

01:19:55Yeah, Joss was the worst.

01:19:57You were moody for years.

01:19:59This girl makes you happy?

01:20:00True or false?

01:20:01True.

01:20:02Then sometimes a little noise in your life is a good thing.

01:20:08When did you get so fucking insightful?

01:20:11When I started waking up earlier.

01:20:12Grand gesture.

01:20:39This can't be from you, Caddy.

01:20:40It's not.

01:20:41It's the carburetor that Miles needs to get his grandpa's truck running.

01:20:47Could you give it to him but not tell him it's for me, please?

01:20:51Are you kidding me?

01:20:52This thing costs a shitload of money.

01:20:54Where'd you find it?

01:20:56A Scottish footballer named Mac who lives in a creepy house in the mountains.

01:21:01What?

01:21:03Anyway, why don't you give it to him yourself?

01:21:08Because I don't want him back like that.

01:21:10Kate.

01:21:14Kate.

01:21:15Yeah?

01:21:16You know Miles paid my uncle every single week you were here, right?

01:21:24He what?

01:21:25My uncle owns this place, and Miles worked out a deal with him to look the other way when

01:21:33you came in all the time.

01:21:34Thought I was flying under the radar.

01:21:37No.

01:21:39Definitely not.

01:21:41Total Brooke boyfriend moment.

01:21:43What?

01:21:46Nothing.

01:21:46Where's Miles?

01:21:51Outside, stacking tires.

01:21:53Go put him out of his misery.

01:21:55Are you sure?

01:21:56Yes.

01:21:57Please.

01:21:58For the love of God, go.

01:21:59Go.

01:21:59What are you doing here?

01:22:17Do you know what this is?

01:22:20Looks like a carburetor.

01:22:25Do you know for what kind of vehicle?

01:22:26I can't tell from here.

01:22:36It's a 1965 Ford F100.

01:22:40Where did you get it?

01:22:49It's kind of a long, crazy story that included a rattlesnake.

01:22:56But I'm hoping it has a great ending.

01:22:59What kind of ending?

01:23:00The kind where you let me apologize for lying.

01:23:08I'm not your ex, Miles.

01:23:11I am Kate Smith.

01:23:14From Longmont, Colorado.

01:23:17Whose ex technically still lived with her until she changed the locks on him.

01:23:23Who's not some brave, erotic romance author who's cool with kink and casual relationships and using a mechanic for book research.

01:23:36I am just a girl who's been falling in love with a guy who works at Tire Depot.

01:23:53Who would really just like to go home with him and take a freaking shower.

01:23:56I like your ending so much better than mine.

01:24:02Have I just been upgraded from book boyfriend to real boyfriend?

01:24:09Then I can firmly say it was worth the wait, Miles.

01:24:14Thank you, Miles.

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