- 12 hours ago
- #realitytvdeep
#RealityTVDeep
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Short filmTranscript
00:00So how many did you say?
00:03Two strippers, three hoes, and a partridge in a pear tree.
00:06Oh, God.
00:08Wait.
00:09What's that at an ankle weight?
00:11House arrest monitor.
00:12We talking highbrow bitches.
00:14Oh, Chase.
00:15Don't worry.
00:16By the end of the day, I will have a full list.
00:21You want to pierce the damn cloud?
00:23You was a high school senior.
00:24My high school seniors, to be exact.
00:26Elijah got me an AI reverse image search app and Mr. Football Hero's three other social media accounts.
00:36Egypt hacked Chase's WhatsApp, and Ezra monitored Allura's router log in.
00:41Come to find out, Chase has several burners, which means we can geotrack his location.
00:47Are all men complete assholes in the end?
00:50And you asked me why I had my voice with a sperm donor?
00:53Hello, but not you.
00:55You snagged a good one.
00:57Okay.
00:58Do not make that face.
01:00You snagged a good one.
01:01If you mess this up with Dr. Reggie, I'll murder you myself.
01:04All right.
01:05I mean it.
01:06You've been stringing that man alone for two years.
01:09He's wonderful, and you said the dick is good.
01:13Lock him in.
01:15Ladies, look who followed me home.
01:18The band is back together again.
01:21What?
01:22Meet my new attorney.
01:23Oh my God.
01:24I love it.
01:26This is amazing.
01:27Oh, God.
01:28Oh, God.
01:29How I have missed this face.
01:32Oh, I knew you couldn't quit us forever.
01:35Come on, you're a puppy pile.
01:37Puppy pile.
01:38Now, show me to my corner office.
01:44Well, some things never change.
01:51Get me up to speed.
01:52You've called all the best divorced barracudas in town, so Chase can't retain them.
01:56We did.
01:57We ticked right through the list.
01:58Including Carr.
01:59Please, tell me someone called Carr.
02:07Oh, shit.
02:09Y'all better get on it.
02:16I don't fuck with you.
02:20You little stupid ass bitch ain't fucking with you.
02:25You little, you little.
02:26Allora Grant, honey, I am so, so, so happy to hear from you.
02:32Carr, sweetie.
02:33How are you?
02:34Never mind me.
02:35How are you holding up, you poor discarded cumrag?
02:40So, you've heard.
02:41Well, the truth is I've been ready to end things for a little while now.
02:45This just saves me from having to dump his ass.
02:48But, hey, listen.
02:49You need a lawyer.
02:51The best one in town.
02:53Well, you know me.
02:54I'd do anything for you except represent you.
02:58Which I wouldn't do even if I were penniless and starving on a street corner,
03:03forced to blow a priest with a chlamydia for a bowl of refried beans.
03:07Well, I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings.
03:11Just wanted to...
03:12To make sure you conflicted me out so your soon-to-be ex couldn't hire me?
03:17Well, tough break, bitch.
03:18Guess who's here with me right now.
03:20Jay, say bye-bye to your future ex-wife while she can still afford the rent for that overpriced office she'll be having to give up.
03:29Bye-bye.
03:30Oh, Mandalora.
03:34If you had called me first, I would have been so touched.
03:38I wouldn't have helped you, but I might not have wanted to destroy you as badly as I do now.
03:45See you in court, cunt burger.
03:47Let's light her on fire.
03:58Deandra Barber.
04:00Allora Grant, welcome.
04:01Liberty Ronson.
04:02And I am Emeril Green.
04:04You doing okay?
04:05Oh, I'm sorry for, you know, all the scheduling and rescheduling.
04:10I'm probably wasting your time.
04:12It's been a lot.
04:14Take a deep breath.
04:15Now tell us your story.
04:19Did you know if you condense polyethylene terephthalate with carbon nanotubing,
04:25you can create a polymer that's twice as strong as reinforced steel and over 800% lighter?
04:33Yeah.
04:33Well, nobody else did either, but I did.
04:36Arthur didn't know anything about chemistry.
04:40He knew business, strategy.
04:42What?
04:43You're telling me it worked?
04:44Yes!
04:45He also knew how to do things with his fingers that would make Itzhak Perlman jealous.
04:55Okay.
04:57Excuse me.
04:59Duralite took off.
05:01Revolutionized construction and manufacturing.
05:04Arthur wanted more.
05:05So we did nine companies in total.
05:08So we did nine companies in total.
05:08We started together.
05:10I was the product.
05:12He was the business.
05:14It was all easy.
05:15Even when we divorced.
05:16Even when we divorced.
05:17It was the same.
05:18It was too easy.
05:19As it turns out, the companies Arthur so generously gave me, all were drowning in unpaid payroll taxes, penalties, interest, all going back decades.
05:30What's more, in the formation documents, he listed me as key officers, so all tax documents are in my name.
05:41He'd been doing this since day one.
05:43I owe so many people, kind people, people I love.
05:47I mean, what do I do?
05:48What do I give them?
05:49He had you marked in a very long card.
05:52These documents from Discovery, girl, these are fake as a Canal Street Birkin.
05:57We could pursue innocent spouse relief through the IRS, file civil suits, transfer liability back to Arthur, but on paper, you appear complicit.
06:09That part.
06:11I trusted him.
06:14We can go up against any law firm in the country, but the IRS?
06:20Y'all know that's a lengthy war.
06:22So, this will never be over?
06:37Can I, um, go vape?
06:40Of course.
06:41Sure.
06:52Hope, it's our product, but I am not feeling it right now.
07:04Chapter seven?
07:05Offer and compromise?
07:07That's not what this is about for her.
07:09And that's not going to get those employees paid what they're owed.
07:12I mean, you see how guilty she-
07:14Oh, shit!
07:15Oh, my God!
07:16No!
07:17Jesus Christ!
07:18Oh!
07:19Oh.
07:20Oh, my God!
07:21Oh!
07:22Oh!
07:23Jesus Christ.
07:24Oh!
07:25Oh!
07:26so she just jumped she thought she had no more options left and she couldn't stand another
07:42minute she trusted him being betrayed by a man has a specific smell women we gotta
07:50we gotta recognize that shit well i didn't smell a thing how am i any different than
07:56her because you my darling you have resources and us yes and we are gonna get payback for you
08:04and her too we are gonna make sure that her employees and their families are well taken
08:10care of dina the whole idea of getting you on this plane was really just to get you away from
08:16everything and give you a break from all the caretaking and worrying dina how is dougie
08:26they're good days and bad days the treatments are really tough and it just kills me to see him so
08:38diminished you know and the times when he's in pain is just the worst he was always the strongest most
08:48vital person that i've ever known oh my god i used to laugh but they're not a lot of laughs these days
08:57it's um
08:57it's been really really hard
09:03i was determined that i wouldn't do this today i got you
09:09here here okay blow first cuddle second don't feel bad i cry on planes all the time me too me three
09:17okay but not on this plane the food in the company is too damn good girl we are flying through rare air
09:25okay we want you to have a good time here find something to bid on well you know
09:33miss baskin does have one piece that i really really like it's that pair of jar tourmaline and
09:42diamond carmelia brooches dougie tried to get them for me years ago when they were for sale at
09:48sotheby's and her husband beat him
09:50uh what oh um snacks
09:56what well it's just that we all sort of wanted that one well you're welcome to bid against me my
10:06little chickies the more the merrier maybe we should rock paper scissors since dr reggie
10:12is gonna be in town oh stop maybe we could let him referee what's he doing in new york he's just
10:19doing some business he's got a lecture at the rockefeller and then he has to go on cobert to talk
10:23about his new book you know not all guys are like your clients ex or chase there are some good guys out
10:32there like my guys cheers to that to your guys cheers to my guys good guys cheers to the good guys
10:41good guys to the good guys between my thighs
10:48and this is oh there's sheila oh this is quite the cheering section you bought
11:07can i say you girls just want to have fun oh oh hello how are you
11:14hello you're gonna have a very good day today oh it's so good to see you baby
11:22and this standard you are a goddess no hello lovely to meet you likewise
11:28let's go fuck this cocksucker i mean that is a woman after my own heart i love it
11:40mayor mchead cheese diane sawyer lola falana george washington good day see you in there
11:50oh my god who the fuck is that wednesday adams
12:01we are at 670. going going and gone congratulations paddle number 49. well about estimate
12:13mark is having a day you're gonna do well you know what a girl's best friend is
12:19not diamond her lawyers next up one of the pieces we've been hugely anticipating an exquisite vintage
12:28verdura flower brooch with elements of aquamarine pink topaz emerald diamond and platinum from the
12:36trove being auctioned today courtesy of the fabulous and singular sheila baskin
12:48sheila baskin
12:50why don't we start things off at an unrealistically low quarter of a million dollars 350
12:59375 at four four four hundred thousand from our newest bidder
13:06uh 425 do i have 450 450 450 475 475
13:17500 000 and i'm not going to fucking stop
13:20uh five hundred thousand dollars going going and gone
13:33car
13:34congratulations on your great victory in there you have such exquisite taste mine oh dina standish the
13:46old plow horse i thought for sure they would have shipped you off to the glue factory by now
13:51what a thrill it was beating you in there full-on shakes and shimmies might have been the
13:56fuck of my life and the one thing i will always regret is that i never got to give it to you in court
14:02no you might yet oh oh you didn't hear allura is my client now
14:16oh hon haven't you tasted enough defeat i mean the fact is you are not capable of lawyering anymore
14:25you have forgotten how to do it it is so sad when the mind starts to go car
14:34do you ever think how much happier we'd all be if your mother swallowed
14:50time for some alcohol
15:02you threw that auction didn't you
15:09do you know i know oliver
15:11so how did you know that i threw the auction well you knew that horrid lady was going to buy the
15:21jar brooch no matter what so you escalated your bid to a price that would hurt and backed off
15:29you understand buyers well i had four sisters three stepmothers and a handful of nieces
15:35i'm good at women or so i'm told and i've been a fan of yours for some time
15:48i buy you another round
15:54i know i also know that you're only in town for one night
15:59room three four four
16:11cheers cheers
16:12reggie i thought this was going to be a simple night out it's our two-year anniversary if where
16:22did you want to go mr takaraman no because you can cancel this no i know it's sweet i love it it's
16:29just we agreed to go slow i was just talking about this with this this is my version of slow if i was
16:35going any slower they'd have to check me for a pulse no really i'm almost dead as it is here
16:40this is something i've been waiting for
16:47okay what is that it's my new regimen i'm launching it next month it contains bioven from whole red wine
16:55grapes grown in southern france i love it yeah liberty
17:02oh babe i love you i love you too and i'm going to guzzle please one at a time go easy
17:14thank you you're a genius but you had me nervous when you reached for your pocket
17:19okay oh my god oh a little uh early dessert they're trying to get us out of here
17:33i thought you said we were gonna take it slow take it slow just try it on
17:48i want to spend the rest of my life with you
18:16you respecting you supporting you making love to you having hot sex with you
18:25i will you marry me
18:33reggie
18:33can you give me one minute johnny me i'll be right back just a sec
18:47when you ran out did you actually say the words no i won't marry you but you didn't say yes either
19:05so what's stopping you i don't know reggie doesn't want me now anyway
19:10and that's okay i'm happy to be flying solo in my 50s enjoying my life my work my friends
19:20he'll come back he knows that in your hearts you're a romantic you are you're the romantic
19:28how'd you do it how did you know that douglas was the one to marry
19:33what's wrong
19:41we haven't had sex in three years what what oh
19:46we were so good but since the cancer and the cancer's return and then last night with the auctioneer
19:55wait oliver
20:01you know when you meet somebody and you're quivering all over with it like you're a teenager
20:11hello again hello oh god that's how i felt come in
20:15i miss it i've never not once on my husband
20:31but doug would be absolutely devastated
20:46i'm sorry
20:51it's not fair to him it's just not and i'll i'll be fine
20:55it's uh nobody ever died of friskiness no no actually they have no i'm okay i'm okay
21:06and i've decided to tell him about it wait what why you you didn't even do anything oh i went to
21:16oliver's room and i let him kiss me so you made a mistake and course corrected what happened made me
21:23realize that there are a lot of things i've been sitting on and i want to talk to doug about it
21:28so maybe what happened is you know it was a good thing
21:32because honesty is a part of true intimacy
21:38oh what'd you think allura i do
21:44oh that's my cue to spill the beads what look we didn't want to say anything till we were on the
21:57way back we didn't want to upset you tell me what you know i have been investigating chase and all of
22:04his shenanigans i found out something you're not gonna like it pin your wig down the little room
22:14because this might blow it back
22:18the christie's auctioneer yeah weren't we in the room four years ago when we got mike nichols balthus
22:26very handsome the auctioneer not mike christ did i love him dougie i went to the guy's room
22:39i didn't sleep with him but i i kissed him honey it's okay it didn't feel okay you wanted
22:46no you wanted something i wanted you i love you you are the love of my life
22:56hey
23:02i didn't picture shrinking you know everything was all about being seen taking up space
23:12i never pictured being like this
23:17so
23:20so try to picture something different what
23:26picture the big wonderful life you've given me picture the connection that we always had
23:40catching each other's eye across the room usually over the shoulder of some really boring person
23:46picture everything around us melting away the intimacy so strong so sexy everything we're knowing
24:00everything about each other's body and just knowing what we loved
24:03you are a magician
24:08you are a magician
24:13i still am
24:22you are a magician
24:24so forensics came back turns out arthur didn't forge d's signature she signed
24:29everything willingly he gave her five companies in the divorce the papers of which she also signed
24:35willingly and under the advice of counsel companies he embezzled from used payroll tax money from to
24:43to cover his tracks i assume
24:47was she that blinded by love are we all that willing to surrender and be human stupid oh don't make this
24:54about yourself tell me it doesn't give you pause about any relationship ever what choices is that we've
25:00done don't love don't enter into relationships with sweet doctors who want to marry us because what if
25:08but what if well what if you're one of the lucky ones what if you've gone through all these shitty
25:14men to get to reggie are you really ready to let him go i thought you were here for alura's divorce
25:23why are we even talking about d's case you are enjoying this aren't you yes i like this job
25:29and so while i'm waiting for my meeting i'll sit in on yours
25:32where's alura she's two minutes away why i had him follow chase he went to her house i pulled all the
25:43available street camera footage he's been going there a couple of times a week four months you're
25:48not gonna believe it slow down chase is going to whose house good question whose house has chase been
25:57going to huh come on it can't be worse than your last bombshell about the three affairs with women
26:05between 19 and jesus what you're scaring me milan milan he slept with milan what your your receptionist
26:21what do you want to do you want us to have him killed i mean i know people they can make it look
26:27like an accident what you guys are my attorneys confidentiality and all of that just say the word
26:34no i'm fine you are not fine i'm fine i'm in denial look at her you you haven't screamed you haven't
26:43thrown a fancy shoe on the plane you were all calm and carrying on i call bullshit i'm wrong allura
26:52i call bullshit me too laura when are you gonna get mad when are you gonna twist off his scrotum and
26:59feed it to him in small raggedy pieces when are we doing revenge wait revenge that's it legally maybe
27:09you can't get restitution for these workers but you can serve up some ice cold revenge i've got an idea
27:18i need to make a phone call wait dina you're not partner here this isn't your actual case consider
27:25it a favor and you get mad or you're not gonna get through it you get hot hear me yes mother
27:46what's up i'm gonna be right back
28:15hey nice shot
28:26i've uh left messages you weren't returning you didn't have to come all the way down here though
28:34you know we left the ring at the office can we go somewhere and talk this is the thing reg all day
28:44every day i'm fighting for these women who want out of their marriages i get it and so you catastrophize
28:50so vividly that you think well that's us yeah makes sense they didn't think it was them nobody thinks
28:57it's going to be them of course look i get it i i get it you don't have to uh explain yourself to me
29:05i do though i don't want to let what i do determine how i live what's happened to others
29:18or what's happened to me in the past make me afraid to go after what i want because honey what i want is you
29:26i don't know losing you once that was bad that was bad and i i don't think i can do that again
29:39all right i've got my own fears it's not just you that's it we're all scared
29:46and i love you and i don't want to let the fear of what could happen rob me of being with the man i love
30:02the man i want to spend the rest of my life with
30:05so uh thought we could try again
30:19reginald carlos ramirez will you please please marry me
30:25can i think about it
30:39yeah sure i i've thought about it yeah what yeah
30:55ezra elijah and egypt
31:20what what
31:22i got the email from mit
31:29damn okay all right it's okay shoot shoot get out the way i got it baby listen
31:37i told you not to expect early admissions from mit
31:41i forget it i'm not applying to no regular admissions the hell you not i don't raise quitters do i raise
31:47quitters no ma'am you didn't even know you shut up yes ma'am listen you got this
31:54well i'm not applying to no regular admissions
31:56and i said you are and little boy you best take that base off your throat when you're talking to me
32:03you understand me you understand me i said do you understand me i'm not applying because
32:10i'm not applying to you know you're going to you know you're going to be able to come up to a
32:36Do not scare me like that again.
32:40I brought all three of y'all in this world and you know the rest.
32:43Take us out.
32:44I can take you out.
32:45Cheers to that.
32:46And everything we owe to you.
32:48Well, I mean, where would you be if mama hadn't got a sperm donor with an IQ of 140?
32:54I did that.
32:54So that's all there is to it, huh?
32:57Well.
32:57Mama, no.
32:58I know y'all remember when she decided to coach Little League so she could prove we don't need no daddy to do it.
33:05You didn't.
33:06That was off the plate.
33:09Are you playing?
33:10Or that time that you went off on Mr. Conley because he told you that my penmanship wasn't good enough for me to be in honest English.
33:17Excuse me.
33:18I need to talk to you.
33:19My child told me that you are going to mess up his GPA because you don't like his penmanship.
33:25Who gives a shit about penmanship?
33:27Look at this.
33:28Make it make sense.
33:30Make it make sense.
33:32Or remember when all three of us were sick and you used to sing us to sleep.
33:38Let the words of my mouth bring you praise.
33:48Let the words that I speak be seasoned with your love and grace.
33:57If you see me walking down the street and I start to cry each time we meet.
34:22What a lovely collection, Mr. McPherson.
34:41And the Ghia, I mean singular even.
34:45Oh yeah.
34:46It was owned by Rita Hayworth.
34:47Oh.
34:49I'm donating all of them.
34:51Oh, I think that's wise.
34:52I find that the older I get, the less I need.
34:54I just donated rather significant couture to the Met.
34:59I feel so much lighter.
35:02Well, I'm actually trying to make room for more.
35:06Oh?
35:07I haven't had the pleasure.
35:08You are...
35:09Oh, I'm sorry.
35:11Dina Standish.
35:13Ah, yes.
35:14The attorney.
35:15I know your husband.
35:16I'm sorry.
35:17I heard he's not well.
35:19And I'm sorry to hear about your ex-wife.
35:23May I...
35:24May I have a moment?
35:27Or?
35:28A very brief lesson in the niceties of the Uniform Fraudulent Transfer Act.
35:34I'll be succinct.
36:00Your ex-wife came to my firm before leaping to her death, seeking redress for how you screwed
36:07her by laying off your debt without her knowledge.
36:11She had signed all the right documents, but she didn't know what she signed because you
36:17buried her in paperwork.
36:19This I can prove.
36:21You left a path longer and wider than your jet.
36:26Yeah.
36:27I said I'd be succinct.
36:28You gave away assets to avoid paying debts.
36:33I already have enough evidence to put you away for five years.
36:36And any decent forensic accountant will be able to find enough to put you away for an
36:41additional five.
36:45What's the ask?
36:47Rehire the employees that were let go.
36:51Replenish their profit-sharing plans.
36:53And her shares of the firm go to her sister and her parents.
37:03I look forward to hearing from you.
37:04I look forward to hearing from you.
37:14I look forward to hearing from you.
37:15I look forward to hearing from you.
37:48Bitch, I said what they said, I'd rather be famous instead. I let all that get to my head, I don't care, I'll beat the town red. I got drive, I don't need a car, Vans ain't dumb but extreme is soar.
38:02Bitch, I said what they said, I'd rather be famous instead. I let all that get to my head, I don't care, I'll beat the town red.
38:18Bitch, I said what they said, I'll beat the town red.
38:36Last March, on the 14th, at 5.55pm, is when it all started.
38:45You don't forget the moment your life changes, whenever you came home and the flowers, the flowers, you would have thought somebody died.
38:59And then the gifts kept coming. And there was a set of keys to this home.
39:11Allura, I worship you and I need you to know that.
39:14So you did this because you want to be me?
39:16Everybody wants to be you.
39:20Okay, be Allura then.
39:23You worked for her for three years, you know all her secrets.
39:26When she gets her period, what kind of tampon she uses.
39:29And now, you've slept with her man.
39:33So, what would she do in this situation?
39:38You'd ask questions until you got to the center of it.
39:41Very good. What's the first question?
39:43Why?
39:45Everywhere I turn, everywhere I look, in that office, every single day, I see nothing but private flights and designer fittings and Cartier and Prada and London and Paris.
39:58I have it all, I know that.
40:00But how can it be enough when you are everywhere and you make it look so effortless?
40:07So, it's my fault.
40:08Do I look like a moth to you?
40:10Hell no.
40:10I'm a motherfucking butterfly and I know this.
40:13But where is my place when I'm constantly circling your porch light?
40:17You gave me a portal into it.
40:19And what does it look like?
40:20Tell me, what does that portal look like?
40:23Afternoons at first, and then a helicopter ride to a private island.
40:27And sushi on a beach prepared by a five-star Michelin chef.
40:31That experience is not custom tailored.
40:34It's mass produced.
40:36One size fits all.
40:38Sold to dozens of naive women, apparently.
40:43Alara, I'm so sorry.
40:46So, that's it?
40:49An apology?
40:50You're sorry?
40:52What's at the center of it?
40:54Ask the question.
40:57The question?
41:03Yes, it is.
41:06And the answer is...
41:08Yes, it is.
41:21I'm so sorry.
41:23All right.
41:45Yes, it is.
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