- 19 hours ago
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00:00:00The End
00:01:30And sports fans everywhere, today we inaugurate the 20th annual transcontinental road race.
00:01:39Today, the five bravest young men and women in this bravest of nations will risk their
00:01:47lives in the greatest sporting event since the day of the Spartacus.
00:01:52Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned for all the world to behold in
00:02:01awe, in respect, in fear.
00:02:04All right, all right.
00:02:07This is Junior Bruce, your buddy, buddy, and mine.
00:02:11And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-by-play, when the kings and queens of the open road
00:02:16roar onto the track.
00:02:19Do I hear the sound of engines?
00:02:21It's Calamity Jane Kelly, queen of the road, at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud boy.
00:02:28Danie Janey, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, placed second in 1998, and led
00:02:39in last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble.
00:02:42Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janey better luck this year.
00:02:47My fans can wish me all the luck they want.
00:02:50If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely.
00:02:53Isn't that right, Pete?
00:02:56At the start of the race, only a heartthrob away, this is Grace Pander on the spot, as usual,
00:03:03to welcome the greatest racer of all time and a very dear friend of mine.
00:03:09Yes, in just a moment, he will be coming through the doors.
00:03:13There is no cause for alarm.
00:03:23The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation in order to
00:03:27facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants.
00:03:31He should be coming around any moment now.
00:03:37Oh, I don't believe it.
00:03:43Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive?
00:03:49How are things abroad?
00:03:50How is Mr. President?
00:03:52Is he still in Moscow?
00:03:54Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking.
00:04:00He loves everybody.
00:04:02And everybody loves him.
00:04:05Sweetheart!
00:04:06Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart, Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee, and her lovable
00:04:16Nazi navigator, Herman the German Fox.
00:04:29Matilda, Herman, do you think this is your turn to be first and foremost in sunny California?
00:04:35Today, California.
00:04:37Tomorrow, the world.
00:04:38Hiya, Herman.
00:04:41I hope your buzz bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year.
00:04:49Whoever named your car the bull was only half right.
00:04:55Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race?
00:04:58Yes.
00:04:59Is it true that with your new mechanical arm, you can shift gears in less than a twentieth
00:05:04of a second?
00:05:05Would you care to comment on that?
00:05:07No.
00:05:08How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met?
00:05:12You'll love Annie.
00:05:13She's a red-hot sexpot.
00:05:15She better be a red-hot navigator.
00:05:20No more questions.
00:05:21It's the lion, and at the wheel, Ray Nero, the hero Lodigan.
00:05:28Never has finished the transcontinental, but three big wins in the provinces this season,
00:05:33plus a brand-new beast, means Nero's not fiddling around.
00:05:38Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me.
00:05:42My fans want to see me.
00:05:44They've never seen a has-been before?
00:05:46Annie Smith?
00:05:55Mr. Frankenstein.
00:05:57I've checked out the car, and everything seems perfect.
00:06:00I have the route maps right here.
00:06:02I will check them in a minute.
00:06:06We will roll, and everything seems perfect to me.
00:06:12I've, uh, packed some high-protein capsules and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find.
00:06:18And I've also assembled a medical kit, just in case.
00:06:21I'm trained as a nurse.
00:06:22I don't need a nurse.
00:06:24I need a navigator.
00:06:26Mr. Frankenstein, you're very good at what you do, and I'm very good at what I do.
00:06:33We'll see.
00:06:34And you know, there's only one person who guns an engine like that.
00:06:42It's gotta be the roughest, tough guy of them all, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo!
00:06:51Here he comes, Machine Gun Joe, loved by thousands, hated by millions.
00:06:57Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein, highest lifetime score after Frankenstein,
00:07:04and he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves.
00:07:10Joe doesn't look too happy, but you just can't keep those Frankenstein fans down.
00:07:17Loudy son of a bitch.
00:07:20Frankenstein!
00:07:21Give it to them, Joe.
00:07:22More Frankenstein!
00:07:24I'll give it, Frankenstein!
00:07:26Here he comes, here he comes!
00:07:34Frankenstein!
00:07:36Frankenstein the legend!
00:07:38Frankenstein the indestructible!
00:07:40Sole survivor of the Titanic pileup of 95!
00:07:44Only two-time winner of the transcontinental road race!
00:07:48Frankenstein!
00:07:49Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed!
00:07:53Frankenstein, a dancer on the brink of death!
00:07:57Frankenstein!
00:07:58Who lost a leg in 98, an arm in 99, with half a face and half a chest, and all the guts in
00:08:05the world, he's back!
00:08:07God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back!
00:08:12In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein!
00:08:16You will regret that, Joe.
00:08:30Frankenstein!
00:08:31Frankenstein!
00:08:36Stay tuned, racing fans.
00:08:38T-Video Satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room.
00:08:44All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, ready to roll!
00:08:49Now, we take you to the Summer Palace and Mr. President!
00:08:55My children, whom I love so dearly, it has been my duty in the long and difficult years since
00:09:20the world crash of 79, to serve you as best I could.
00:09:27Never before in history have the masses forgone all comfort, so that the spirit of genius might thrive
00:09:34and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty in the fertile field of minority privilege.
00:09:43And now, my children, the drivers are ready, the world is waiting.
00:09:47Once more, I give you what you want.
00:10:04Good morning, Americans.
00:10:06Once again, the race is underway, with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St. Louis and Albuquerque,
00:10:13home of the American Indian Museum.
00:10:15At this very moment, the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan, but no points have
00:10:22been scored as yet.
00:10:24Take it away, Junior Bruce.
00:10:26They're coming out of the Lincoln Tunnel now, with Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck.
00:10:32Then it's the Lion, driven by, passed by, Calamity Jane in the ball, moving into third place.
00:10:38The Lion, driven by, let's get out of the Molly.
00:10:41The Lion, driven by, let's get out of the way.
00:10:42The Lion, driven by, let's go, let's get out of the bit.
00:10:44The Lion, driven by, let's go.
00:10:47Yeah, that's fine.
00:10:48It's okay.
00:10:48Oh, my God.
00:11:18Oh, my God.
00:11:49Frankenstein still out in front headed due west with Nero the hero on his tail hoping to pick up his leftovers.
00:11:56Calamity James on a northwest hack.
00:11:58Matilda's buzz bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe now streaking southwest.
00:12:04Once again, Mr. President.
00:12:06I have made the United Provinces of America the greatest power in the known universe.
00:12:13I have also given you the most popular sporting event in the history of mankind.
00:12:19The transcontinental road race which upholds the American tradition of no holds barred.
00:12:27No holds barred.
00:12:28That's how he got to be president.
00:12:33Hypocrite pig.
00:12:33What about our ultimatum?
00:12:35He's been laughing us off for 15 years.
00:12:38Passive resistance means nothing to him.
00:12:40Pick up that flag, young man.
00:12:42It's time for action.
00:12:43It is not a time for violence.
00:12:46Mrs. Payne, I love Annie as much as you do.
00:12:48But she's no match for Frankenstein.
00:12:51And we can't risk letting him get away.
00:12:53Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world and a personal friend of Mr. President's.
00:12:57That Lieutenant Fury is exactly why they'll call off the race.
00:13:02To save his life.
00:13:03My granddaughter will succeed.
00:13:05Don't you ever take off that mask?
00:13:07No.
00:13:08Don't you know about my face?
00:13:10I've heard stories.
00:13:14Nobody's ever seen it, have they?
00:13:16Except my other navigators.
00:13:18And they're all dead.
00:13:21So they are.
00:13:22They say you lost most of your jaw in the crack of 92.
00:13:31And my right eye in 95.
00:13:34And my nose and my left eye in 97.
00:13:37And most of my cranium in 98.
00:13:39I'm held together with patches of plastic.
00:13:42And steel plates.
00:13:44It's not a pretty sight.
00:13:47You want to see?
00:13:50Why not? I've seen everything else.
00:13:52Remember, you're doing this on your own.
00:13:55I take no responsibility.
00:14:09What did you expect?
00:14:11Another pretty face?
00:14:17They really love you, Joe.
00:14:19Yeah?
00:14:21Then how come they ain't down there on the road proving it?
00:14:25Hey, you better make this left turn.
00:14:27You'll shave off about two miles that way.
00:14:29Yeah, all right.
00:14:30All right, all right, and yes, sir-ree.
00:14:54A clean hit, a perfect hit, and no pain for the target.
00:15:00Too bad the guy was only 38.
00:15:02Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points.
00:15:05But for the second year in a row, Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first.
00:15:12How's it like that, huh?
00:15:14Get off of that one, Myra, baby.
00:15:15What's the matter with this engine?
00:15:20I don't know.
00:15:21Sounds fine to me.
00:15:23Amateurs.
00:15:25Get back there and retard the spark for, uh, three degrees.
00:15:28I don't know.
00:15:58I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back.
00:16:15As the cars roar into Pennsylvania, the cradle of liberty, it seems apparent that our citizens
00:16:26are staying off the streets, which may make scarring particularly difficult, even with this
00:16:33year's rule changes.
00:16:34To recap those revisions, women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets.
00:16:44But teenagers now rack up 40 points, and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points.
00:16:52The big score, anyone, any sex, over 75 years old, has been upped to 100 points.
00:17:01As always, how fast you move determines how long you've lived.
00:17:09By the time of the world, I'm moving.
00:17:11By the time of the world, you must learn how long I've lived.
00:17:15By the time of the world, you must
00:17:16look at the mountains if you Köешьleok
00:17:31A beautiful kill, a neat kill.
00:17:58No calamities for Jane today, no sir.
00:18:01And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one.
00:18:17What is that?
00:18:19Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital.
00:18:22We do it every year.
00:18:23Here he comes! He's coming!
00:18:31Frankenstein scores!
00:18:50Frankenstein scores at last!
00:18:53But what kind of a score, boys and girls?
00:18:55Just 110 points out of a possible big 700!
00:18:59What do you think about that, Gracie?
00:19:01Well, those doctors, dear friends of mine,
00:19:06have been pretty smug all these years setting up the old folks.
00:19:09Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn.
00:19:13Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein
00:19:16Frankenstein has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor.
00:19:22Annie saved those old people, and she'll deliver Frankenstein.
00:19:27Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways.
00:19:31Ah, they're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators.
00:19:36But just remember, the Christians won.
00:19:38Did they, Mrs. Payne?
00:19:40I take it from your attire that your sabotage operations are being carried out,
00:19:45despite my wishes?
00:19:48Mrs. Payne?
00:19:51We're set to hit them with everything we've got.
00:19:54Then, in the name of humanity, let Operation Anti-Race begin!
00:19:59How in the hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard?
00:20:11You're the navigator.
00:20:12That's your problem.
00:20:13You better think of something pretty soon,
00:20:15or else you're gonna be out in your ass.
00:20:17It isn't my fault everyone scored before us.
00:20:20You should have gone after that Boy Scout camp like I told you.
00:20:22I tried a goddamn Boy Scout camp.
00:20:25You're not fast those Boy Scouts move.
00:20:27Now, here's something more you're seeing.
00:20:32It's gonna be at least 200 points.
00:20:35If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.
00:20:39Come on!
00:20:40Come on!
00:20:41Go for the baby!
00:20:44The baby!
00:20:46That's it.
00:20:47Come get baby.
00:20:49Bye-bye, baby.
00:20:50Hello, 70 points.
00:20:52Oh!
00:20:57Hey, I'm off the air!
00:20:58I'm off the air!
00:20:59Would you please take your places?
00:21:01Don't, I can't.
00:21:01Take your places.
00:21:02You're missing, man.
00:21:03Grace on with an interview right now.
00:21:05Hello, ladies.
00:21:06Isn't this just the most exciting race in years?
00:21:10I certainly think so.
00:21:12And guess what?
00:21:13I have a surprise for you.
00:21:15Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge in person on my show.
00:21:20The widow of Edward Bainbridge,
00:21:24whom, as we all know,
00:21:26was machine gun Joe Viterbo's first score.
00:21:31Welcome to my home.
00:21:33And may I call you Rhonda?
00:21:35Oh, please do, Mrs. Pander.
00:21:37Are we about ready here?
00:21:38Yeah, just about.
00:21:41So we have to go right away.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:43Okay.
00:21:43Okay.
00:21:43Okay.
00:21:45As the widow of the race's first score,
00:21:49you have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco.
00:21:55Start the gym.
00:22:10And next year,
00:22:12you will be watching the race on a 50-inch, three-dimensional, octophonic T-video set.
00:22:20Very oppressed Americans.
00:22:23The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero is the people's first stroke against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President.
00:22:33For 20 years, Americans have been told when Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep, when to laugh and when to hate.
00:22:46The age of obedience is over.
00:22:47In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman, I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights.
00:23:00We declare war upon the bipartisan party on Mr. President, and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty, the transcontinental road rape.
00:23:21I thank you.
00:23:22What the hell was that?
00:23:26I have no information.
00:23:28Is this race still on?
00:23:30I have no information.
00:23:31Well, what do you think?
00:23:32About what?
00:23:33About that speech.
00:23:34That's spice to the race.
00:23:35Spice?
00:23:36They've killed Nero.
00:23:37Yeah, they would have got more points for me.
00:23:38Don't you understand?
00:23:39They've declared war on the race and on you.
00:23:40Aren't you worried?
00:23:41The only thing that worries me is machine gun Joe for terrible.
00:23:42He's winning all you care about.
00:23:43Yes.
00:23:44It's the only standard of excellence left.
00:23:45Come on.
00:23:46Here they come.
00:23:47About finished.
00:23:48Come on.
00:23:49Look at that stupid hole right in the middle.
00:23:52They won't get through there.
00:23:53Oh.
00:23:54Yeah, I'm dead.
00:23:55Oh, my God.
00:23:56Why?
00:23:57I've been dead.
00:23:58You're dead.
00:23:59You're dead.
00:24:00That's a bad ass.
00:24:01I'm dead.
00:24:02I'm dead.
00:24:03I'm dead.
00:24:04I'm dead.
00:24:05I'm dead.
00:24:06I'm dead.
00:24:07I'm dead.
00:24:08I'm dead.
00:24:09I'm dead.
00:24:10I'm dead.
00:24:11I'm dead.
00:24:12I'm dead.
00:24:13There you go.
00:24:19It's me!
00:24:20The bears converge from all their roots
00:24:22and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis.
00:24:25Machine Gun Joe is still leading the field
00:24:27with Frankenstein second, Calamity Jane third.
00:24:30Leaving Matilda the Hunt in fourth position
00:24:33and Calamity Jane facing another Calamity.
00:24:36Right now, Frankenstein's score points
00:24:38put him just ahead of Joe.
00:24:40Hey! Get off the rope!
00:24:42Jesus Chrysler! Get off the rope!
00:24:45...driving first in St. Louis.
00:24:47Hey, dummy. Come on over and hold the lance.
00:24:59The sacrifice.
00:25:01Where's the one that says,
00:25:02Welcome Joe Paterpo?
00:25:04Score in the center of a bitch, Joe.
00:25:05You need every point you can get.
00:25:12I'll rematch him slightly.
00:25:14Put him out of his misery, Joe.
00:25:16Hey, is that fair?
00:25:17Yeah.
00:25:18Hey! Should I let him go?
00:25:21Fair's always right.
00:25:42Yeah.
00:25:49Yeah.
00:25:52Nah.
00:25:53See you later.
00:25:54How you could see?
00:25:55I'm gonna break this place without you.
00:25:56I'm gonna break this place now.
00:25:57I know I have to break this place and see you later.
00:25:59One thing before we begin, the government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero.
00:26:17Understand? He hit a tree and that's it. Got it?
00:26:21We don't want to depress anybody by...
00:26:23Hey, hey. Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck.
00:26:27It was our television.
00:26:29If you want to drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, you'll keep those opinions to yourself.
00:26:34Okay, go ahead.
00:26:35This is Grace Pander from St. Louis, where Matilda, a dear friend of mine, is receiving a well-deserved rubdown.
00:26:45Tell me, Tilly darling, what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road?
00:26:50You can expect a victory by a member of the master race. A woman.
00:26:55Oh, Tilly darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence for someone who's lying fourth out of four.
00:27:02She doesn't mind as long as she's lying somewhere.
00:27:04Look, when I'm through with you, you're going to be line estate, lady.
00:27:07Listen, miss, if anybody is going to Boot Hill, it's you and your biz bag.
00:27:10Buzz bomb.
00:27:11Shut up. Look, you just leave my navigator over.
00:27:14Girls, girls, girls, remember you're on TV land.
00:27:17Pete, how do you like being a navigator?
00:27:20Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat.
00:27:26You'll get what's coming to you on the road.
00:27:29Oh, yeah?
00:27:30Well, what's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem.
00:27:34Frankenstein, can you tell us when you're going to make your move?
00:27:37Are you going to take any off-road chances for scores, or are you driving all out to be first in the new L.A.?
00:27:42It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
00:27:47Frankenstein, a dear friend of mine.
00:27:49Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when at that electric instant, driving at 200 miles an hour,
00:27:54life and death coexist at the moment of scoring.
00:27:58You stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock.
00:28:01And you can answer that question for yourself.
00:28:12What are you doing? Get away from me, Joe. Go nuts.
00:28:21Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothing in your ear.
00:28:31Tell us what he said to you.
00:28:32Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you?
00:28:35He didn't say anything.
00:28:37What did he say?
00:28:38Nothing.
00:28:38What did he say?
00:28:39Nothing.
00:28:40Look, I'm not playing games to you, Myra.
00:28:42I want to know what he said.
00:28:43Yeah, he said there was nothing sweet in my ear.
00:28:48In my ear.
00:28:49Ah!
00:29:01What do you want?
00:29:04My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:07I'm head of Chapter 7, St. Louis Lovers of Frankenstein.
00:29:10I was chosen from over a hundred girls.
00:29:12You offer me your body?
00:29:13Is that it?
00:29:15You want to make love to me because I drive the monster and wear this costume?
00:29:19No, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:21But that wouldn't be fair to your navigator.
00:29:23It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege.
00:29:26Besides, we understand your feelings.
00:29:29What do you know of my feelings?
00:29:34Everything.
00:29:35Like, like why you're afraid of falling in love.
00:29:39And why winning the race means everything to you.
00:29:43How do you know these things?
00:29:45From my dreams, partly.
00:29:48And from letters I get from other fans.
00:29:50Plus, the club subscribes to an astrology service.
00:29:54Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, I'll do it.
00:29:57I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:00I wanted you to know who I am.
00:30:02So it would have meaning.
00:30:05I don't understand.
00:30:07So what would have meaning?
00:30:09We love you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:12I know just saying it doesn't mean much.
00:30:14Why do you love me?
00:30:15Because I kill people?
00:30:17Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:19It's part of the race.
00:30:21You're a national hero.
00:30:23And we want you to know we're with you.
00:30:25A hundred percent.
00:30:27Good night, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:42Didn't hear you come in.
00:30:44What were you expecting, Machine Gun Joe?
00:30:46Well, I thought I could trust you.
00:30:52You really just don't want to give me a chance, do you?
00:30:57I was trying to help you.
00:31:00I'm sorry.
00:31:03You're what?
00:31:07Sorry.
00:31:08Sorry.
00:31:11He wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 through the Cimarron Valley.
00:31:1654.
00:31:1754.
00:31:1854.
00:31:20It's a dead end.
00:31:21It needs nowhere.
00:31:23That's right.
00:31:25And if Joe takes it, he'll suck.
00:31:28The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first.
00:31:32Or if he's ahead of us.
00:31:34Is that the arm that came off in 98?
00:31:39Mm-hmm.
00:31:41And which one of those obviously perfect legs came off in 99?
00:31:48The right.
00:31:49And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone.
00:31:54Is that right?
00:31:55Mm-hmm.
00:31:56It's a miracle you can still walk.
00:32:02Do you like to dance?
00:33:04What else did they replace?
00:33:09Wait a minute.
00:33:11And I'll show you.
00:33:13Oh, Mr. President, bless thy children and make them strong.
00:33:27Bless thy daughters, Matilda and Jane, and thy son, Joe.
00:33:31And bless thy beloved son, the immortal Frankenstein, who has given so much pleasure to so many.
00:33:40To hell with Frankenstein. What about Joe Viterbo?
00:33:42The flag is down and they're away with machine gun Joe blasting into the lead on this second lap of the great transcontinental road race.
00:34:03Frankenstein is making the left turn splitting early from the pack.
00:34:06Look out, all you folks just south of here.
00:34:08Gee, Jill, there's nobody even close behind us.
00:34:11Shh, shh, shh.
00:34:12Where's he going? What's he doing?
00:34:14Hey, what are you doing? Where are we going?
00:34:17I dropped my glove.
00:34:18Let not the ruin of thy robes destruct the tires of thy...
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Heath Reisler!
00:34:26Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident, Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague, the deacon of the bipartisan party.
00:34:34I think you did that on purpose.
00:34:37You have to give the fans something to talk about.
00:34:40It's my obligation as a national hero.
00:34:43Frankenstein scores now!
00:34:45Does that score count, Harold?
00:34:47An interesting point, Junior, and one that may set a significant precedent.
00:34:52Can a racer score erase the bishop?
00:34:55Oh, and after all those nice things he said about him.
00:34:58It don't matter. It don't count. You can't score religious personalities.
00:35:01The word, deacon, has been handed down to us from the ancient...
00:35:08The, uh...
00:35:10Frankenstein score has been approved for 50 points.
00:35:13The confirmation has just been handed to me.
00:35:16Why, you know what that means, Junior?
00:35:18That means that the race officials from coast to coast will be falling like flies.
00:35:23Oh, she's...
00:35:24Frankenstein, Sparks, I hate him. I hate him.
00:35:28He's elevating.
00:35:29Oh, okay.
00:35:34Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:42Ah!
00:35:46Ah!
00:35:48Ah!
00:35:49Ah!
00:35:50Ah!
00:35:51Ah!
00:35:53Ah, ah!
00:35:55Oh, why did she do that?
00:36:17Show me she loves me.
00:36:19Here they come, let's get set.
00:36:40Chicken gang.
00:36:42Chicken in a basket.
00:36:45Chicken in a casket.
00:36:49Oh, shit.
00:37:06Hey, who got the laser on there, huh?
00:37:10The turn off, it's coming up.
00:37:20Should I take it?
00:37:21Who gives a goddamn shit?
00:37:23Should I?
00:37:24She says I shouldn't, so I should, right?
00:37:25Or should I?
00:37:26I don't know, what?
00:37:27Well, I don't think you should.
00:37:28I think it's definitely a trick.
00:37:30I'll do it.
00:37:31I won't do it.
00:37:32I'd be a schmuck to do it.
00:37:36I did it.
00:37:37I'm no schmuck.
00:37:39That's your story.
00:37:40That's right.
00:37:41That's right.
00:37:42If I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really going to bust your eyes.
00:37:46What do you mean, really?
00:37:56I'll have an almost unlimited score possibility.
00:38:00But it's pretty far down the road.
00:38:02District Penitence Compound.
00:38:05All those old congressmen chained up.
00:38:07It'd be like sitting ducks.
00:38:09Yeah, and all I got to do is drive through a cyclone fence.
00:38:12Uh-uh.
00:38:13Look, the farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be.
00:38:17Hey, come on.
00:38:18Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two...
00:38:21Okay.
00:38:25Take the next ride.
00:38:32Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal.
00:38:36We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turnoff.
00:38:39Uh-huh.
00:38:40Lieutenant Fury figures...
00:38:41Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this.
00:38:43I want none of his surprises here.
00:38:47I could stand for a surprise.
00:38:49Like if Frankenstein didn't show up.
00:38:51Don't worry.
00:38:52He'll show.
00:38:52What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque?
00:38:59Well, I'm not sure.
00:39:01I mean, this detour is going to make a difference.
00:39:03Haven't you calculated our time of arrival?
00:39:05Well, of course I did, but I couldn't take into consideration that.
00:39:08Take what into consideration?
00:39:10Frankenstein, stop the car!
00:39:12Hold on.
00:39:12What the hell?
00:39:17Keep going!
00:39:18Don't stop now.
00:39:19What are you doing?
00:39:20What are they doing?
00:39:26Sorry, brother.
00:39:39If that's the best ambush the Resistance can come up with,
00:39:41we've got nothing to worry about.
00:39:43I guess not.
00:39:44One thing I can't figure out is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me?
00:39:50Maybe he was a fan.
00:39:55Who built this stinking road?
00:39:57If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!
00:40:01I made it!
00:40:02I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you!
00:40:04I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think?
00:40:13Got in touch with those guys somehow and told them where we were going?
00:40:16I guess it might have been.
00:40:19But then how the hell did Joe know we were going to take a detour?
00:40:22Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis.
00:40:25Took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged.
00:40:28I didn't leave my book in the car.
00:40:31You didn't, huh?
00:40:33No.
00:40:35Well, then I guess it couldn't have been them.
00:40:38Who do you think it was?
00:40:39I have no idea.
00:40:41Why do you care as long as they didn't get you?
00:40:43Us.
00:40:44They didn't get us.
00:40:45We're a team, remember?
00:40:46Come on over to my side.
00:41:00You're going to drive for a while.
00:41:02Why?
00:41:03I'm not trained as a driver.
00:41:04Never mind why.
00:41:06Just do as I tell you.
00:41:16Conning, I need to make a nice big score for us.
00:41:20Sure.
00:41:22There's nothing special in mind.
00:41:25Something will turn out.
00:41:27I'm sure that it will.
00:41:44Jesus H. Christ!
00:41:46I'll kill that friend!
00:41:47What did I do?
00:41:48Check your face!
00:41:51Hey, Cornball, what's the fastest way through here?
00:41:54Well, actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer.
00:41:58We trim this edge down here and we drive through, but...
00:42:01No, no.
00:42:01What's the fastest way between here and Albuquerque?
00:42:03You've got to go back to the main highway, really.
00:42:05I don't lose 45 minutes!
00:42:07I've seen you before.
00:42:08I'm one of your greatest fans.
00:42:10You know that?
00:42:10I follow all of the races.
00:42:13I've got pictures of you all over the outhouse.
00:42:15I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:42:18I did.
00:42:18Lousy, stinking dirtball.
00:42:20You've got two seconds to live!
00:42:22And you through that, well, I'll ask for you some ego.
00:42:26I'm having adaption.
00:42:26I have to look at him.
00:42:28I was going to you.
00:42:28I've got 13 points here.
00:42:30You've got to risk.
00:42:32You've got to risk.
00:42:33You should know that you're going to do something.
00:42:35Thank you, Mr. Buenoss.
00:42:40So do you want aen фотографian?
00:42:41I'll miss you.
00:42:43I won't see you quite recently.
00:42:46I'm looking for money now.
00:42:47There's like a witness to your dog.
00:42:47Come on, Pete, honey. You gonna take all day with that?
00:43:06I want to get on the road and make a few more scores. My bloodlust is fading.
00:43:10I'm almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart. We'll be back on the road in no time.
00:43:14Then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her.
00:43:16What'd you say?
00:43:17It's Sting!
00:43:21You lazy bitch! I'll kill you for that!
00:43:24Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it.
00:43:45Uh-oh. Here she comes.
00:43:47And, boy, is she pissed.
00:43:49Well, what does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around.
00:43:52Naturally, somebody's gonna run over them.
00:43:54That's all, boy, is going to run.
00:43:57You leave your livelihood.
00:44:00You leave it.
00:44:00What the hell happened?
00:44:02Are you going to run?
00:44:03Come on!
00:44:05Come on!
00:44:07Let the rain!
00:44:07That sucks!
00:44:08Come on!
00:44:08Come on!
00:44:09She's gaining on us, Mama, and she's got murder.
00:44:39Murder on her mind.
00:45:09That's good.
00:45:11All three, one, two, three.
00:45:16She's got it.
00:45:18Easy.
00:45:19Steady she goes.
00:45:20Here they come!
00:45:32The danger.
00:45:33I really needed that right now.
00:45:42Here.
00:45:43Here.
00:45:44Here.
00:45:45Here.
00:45:47Here.
00:45:48Here.
00:45:49Here.
00:45:50Here.
00:45:51Here.
00:45:52Here.
00:45:53Here.
00:45:54Here.
00:45:55Here.
00:45:56Here.
00:45:57Here.
00:45:59Here.
00:46:02Here.
00:46:03Here.
00:46:05holy shit a special bulletin there's been an accident an explosion it looks like matilda
00:46:20has been blown totally
00:46:21correction matilda has made an impressive score stand by
00:46:32don't you want to take over now i'm afraid of making us lose an awful lot of time
00:46:40you're doing just fine
00:46:42looks like an easy score yeah yeah it does it's always best to start small
00:47:02i missed him take some practice before it comes easy it never comes easy keep your eyes on the road
00:47:17how far is it to the penitent's compound
00:47:23oh maybe 20 miles
00:47:26stop the car
00:47:31get out
00:47:41out
00:47:42come to the other side around the front
00:47:53where is the penitent's compound
00:48:08in japan
00:48:12get in
00:48:18i can just put you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points
00:48:31who are you who are you working for
00:48:35i'm thomasina payne's grandchild
00:48:38i'm honored
00:48:41so you're going to capture me and replace me with that goon back there
00:48:47what for
00:48:48he was going to deliver our ultimatum to mr president
00:48:53your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race
00:48:58he was going to do
00:49:03this
00:49:04the
00:49:05the
00:49:06the
00:49:07the
00:49:07the
00:49:14the
00:49:14the
00:49:15the
00:49:15She was a great dear friend of mine
00:49:32And I shall remember her forever
00:49:35Howling down that freeway in the sky
00:49:37Knocking over the angels
00:49:41The valiant Hun's demise was in fact
00:49:45Caused by enemies of the people
00:49:48There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President
00:49:51At 1900 hours
00:49:54Stay tuned to find out
00:49:56How you can help Mr. President
00:49:59Preserve our way of life
00:50:01Clamity, turn off the telephone
00:50:02Hey, you guys want to stop playing that song, please?
00:50:06Look, what we got here is a race
00:50:08A sporting event, not some kind of daredevil stunt
00:50:11And I want some kind of protection
00:50:12You should have given us an escort
00:50:13Right after Nero got it
00:50:14Oh, I don't score any escort, wouldn't you?
00:50:17You want to zip your lip, Myra?
00:50:19Huh?
00:50:19Are you going to cover me or not?
00:50:21Look, Mr. Viterbo
00:50:22If you're afraid to go on with the race
00:50:24Why don't you quit?
00:50:25You're calling me a turkey?
00:50:27If you ask me
00:50:28You're all just making excuses for poor driving
00:50:30Poor driving?
00:50:31Listen, honey
00:50:32Matilda the Hun was a champion driver
00:50:34And nobody could have scored my navigator
00:50:36And gotten away with it
00:50:37And he's talking about poor driving
00:50:39I'd like to see you out there
00:50:41Yeah
00:50:41Right in front of the cops
00:50:41I've been driving for 10 years
00:50:42Nobody talks on me like this
00:50:44You know, you're an idiot
00:50:44It's all on account of the rebels
00:50:46Who mentioned anything about rebels?
00:50:48There are no rebels
00:50:49Understand?
00:50:51Yeah, then who was that old lady on the television?
00:50:54Thomasina Page
00:50:55She's a harmless lunatic
00:50:56Would you please come outside, sir?
00:50:57We'd like to ask you a few questions
00:50:59Come on, Annie
00:51:04Alone, if you don't mind
00:51:05Mr. President will explain those accidents
00:51:08During his address to the nation tonight
00:51:10How does she jam the networks?
00:51:12How'd she bump off our friends?
00:51:13She didn't bump off anybody
00:51:15She walked into a television station
00:51:17Waving a gun
00:51:17Forced them to put her on the air
00:51:19Now we've taken her back to the asylum
00:51:20And that is the end of it
00:51:22You know, I've got just two words to say about that
00:51:24Oh?
00:51:25Bullshit!
00:51:29Hey!
00:51:29I told you to stop playing that song!
00:51:31You seem to forget, Joe
00:51:34That I'm a representative
00:51:35Of Mr. President's government
00:51:36I happen to hold the power of life and death
00:51:40Yeah?
00:51:40I happen to hold the clown's thought
00:51:42Look out, Paterbo
00:51:45You may be the second biggest clown in this circus
00:51:48But if I want you dead
00:51:50You're dead
00:51:51Sit down and eat
00:51:54I'm going to stop playing that song!
00:52:01I'm young!
00:52:03Were they armed?
00:52:03Or did they expect the fire in the ditch to be enough to stop you?
00:52:06I don't know what they expected
00:52:08We just ran through it all and kept on going
00:52:10Just one more question, Mr. Frankenstein
00:52:14Did you take that particular road on your own initiative?
00:52:18Or on the advice of your navigator?
00:52:23On my own initiative
00:52:24Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein
00:52:26That will be all
00:52:27There has been a lot of talk about American rebels
00:52:34We have positive proof
00:52:36That it was none other than the treacherous French
00:52:40Who have been sabotaging our great race
00:52:43Just as they and their stinking European allies
00:52:48Have undermined and destroyed
00:52:50Our great national economy
00:52:53It is no coincidence, my dear children
00:52:55That the word sabotage
00:52:58Was invented by the French
00:53:00Where's Annie?
00:53:02I don't know
00:53:02Hey, did you hear the news?
00:53:04Mr. President said it was the French
00:53:06Who knocked off Nero and Matilda
00:53:08Gallant heroes
00:53:09Watch out for the creeps
00:53:10Who's in it?
00:53:10Galant heroes
00:53:11Galamity Jane Kelly
00:53:11Machine Gun Joe Viterbo
00:53:13And Frankenstein
00:53:14As they begin the last lap
00:53:17Of their long and difficult journey
00:53:20Toward new Los Angeles
00:53:24Drop your keys
00:53:29Shh
00:53:30He's just looking for something I lost
00:53:33The race?
00:53:34Look, Joe
00:53:36I threw you off course
00:53:39Okay?
00:53:40All's fair in love and war?
00:53:43I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie
00:53:44Because what we've got going here
00:53:46Definitely ain't love
00:53:48Well, then why don't we just forget about it?
00:53:52You know, Annie
00:53:53There's two bad things ain't like they were in the old days
00:53:56And we just take somebody in an alley
00:53:58And blow their brains out
00:53:59You know?
00:54:02Joe, please
00:54:03Go ahead and scream, Annie
00:54:04You're hurting me, Joe
00:54:06There's nobody to hear you
00:54:07Huh?
00:54:14How does it feel to know
00:54:15You're going to spend the rest of your life in pain
00:54:18The rest of your life
00:54:19It's about a minute and a half
00:54:22Hey, Frankie
00:54:25Frankie, I'm glad you told you
00:54:26I caught your navigator
00:54:27Trying to screw around with the car
00:54:29So I thought I'd come out
00:54:30And have a look at what was going on
00:54:32You know what I mean?
00:54:33Hey, come on
00:54:34Frankie
00:54:34Oh, my God.
00:55:04Oh, my God.
00:55:34Oh, my God.
00:55:36I don't know.
00:55:37I don't know.
00:55:38I don't know.
00:55:39I don't know.
00:55:40I don't know.
00:55:41I don't know.
00:55:42I don't know.
00:55:43I don't know.
00:55:44Upstairs.
00:55:45So much for a fair fight.
00:56:01Next chance I get, you're dead.
00:56:06What were you doing down there?
00:56:13Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe?
00:56:21Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with?
00:56:24No need to.
00:56:26You've blown your cover.
00:56:29You're no threat to me.
00:56:31Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away.
00:56:34I have a job to do.
00:56:36Your job is a waste of time.
00:56:39The world doesn't want to be saved.
00:56:41I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it.
00:56:44Yourself.
00:56:46Who are you, anyway?
00:56:49Nobody.
00:56:51Nobody.
00:56:53I was brought up in a government training center to be just what I am.
00:56:56Frankenstein.
00:56:57The best driver on earth this year.
00:57:01They use one of them.
00:57:02They bring in another.
00:57:04But I will be the last of the line.
00:57:06Oh, who's kidding who?
00:57:08Who's kidding?
00:57:09Who's
00:57:30Why don't you ever take off that glove?
00:57:42What's underneath it?
00:57:44It's my secret.
00:57:47You and the Swiss doctors again?
00:57:50There are no Swiss doctors.
00:57:54Just Native American Noel.
00:58:00I'm not sure.
00:58:19Have you checked the oil?
00:58:21Yes.
00:58:22You checked the hydraulics?
00:58:23An hour ago.
00:58:24Brakes, tires, water?
00:58:26Yeah, they're okay.
00:58:27Everything's okay.
00:58:28Don't worry.
00:58:29I'm not going to do anything to sabotage.
00:58:30I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car.
00:58:35You get a load of that face?
00:58:37Yeah, I wonder if somebody got points for that eye.
00:58:41Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me, and Joe left in the race.
00:58:45And while I just want you to know that whoever wins or whatever happens,
00:58:50it's been really grand racing with you folks.
00:58:53I also want to say that I think you make a real nice couple.
00:58:56Thank you, Kate.
00:58:57Thank you, Kate.
00:58:57Good luck.
00:58:58Joe, Myra, I just want to say whatever happens, whoever wins.
00:59:12They save it for the French.
00:59:13The cars are started, lined up, and ready to roll on the last lap.
00:59:21They're off.
00:59:22Frankenstein, Coley, Frank, Joe has just scored his own pit crew.
00:59:26You lousy sons of bitches.
00:59:28Machine gun Joe Viterbo, that funny man from Chicago,
00:59:36has scored his own mechanics for 40 points
00:59:39and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein.
00:59:52Screw you, Joe Viterbo and your mother!
00:59:55We'll see you get the new L.A. first with the highest score, too.
00:59:59It's coming up on the left.
01:00:02Forget it.
01:00:02I'm keeping Frankie in my sights.
01:00:05He's got five minutes on us, and he's stretching it.
01:00:08So what?
01:00:09If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first.
01:00:12Oh, yeah.
01:00:13Take a look at your face.
01:00:15You'll find it first.
01:00:18You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute.
01:00:21But me, I think you're one very large baked potato.
01:00:25Rowering down motorway 66 towards California,
01:00:28Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line.
01:00:32But machine gun Joe is still way ahead on points,
01:00:36and he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles.
01:00:40What's your prediction, Grace?
01:00:43You know, Junior, when machine gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago,
01:00:49he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle.
01:00:53I don't know.
01:00:54I don't know.
01:00:55I don't know.
01:00:56I don't know.
01:00:57I don't know.
01:00:58I don't know.
01:00:59I don't know.
01:01:00I don't know.
01:01:01I don't know.
01:01:02I don't know.
01:01:03I don't know.
01:01:04I don't know.
01:01:05I don't know.
01:01:06I don't know.
01:01:07I don't know.
01:01:08I don't know.
01:01:09I don't know.
01:01:10I don't know.
01:01:11I don't know.
01:01:12I don't know.
01:01:13I don't know.
01:01:14I don't know.
01:01:15Oh, my God.
01:01:45Oh, my God.
01:02:15Oh, my God.
01:02:45Break out the thermos of pipe, Cordray.
01:02:48Coming right up.
01:02:49Here.
01:02:50Here.
01:02:51Here.
01:02:55Here.
01:02:56Here.
01:02:57Here.
01:02:58Here.
01:02:59Here.
01:03:00Here.
01:03:01Here.
01:03:02Here.
01:03:03Here.
01:03:04Here.
01:03:05Here.
01:03:06Here.
01:03:07Here.
01:03:08Here.
01:03:09Here.
01:03:10Here.
01:03:11Here.
01:03:12Here.
01:03:13Here.
01:03:14Here.
01:03:15Here.
01:03:16Here.
01:03:17Here.
01:03:18Here.
01:03:19Here.
01:03:20Here.
01:03:21Here.
01:03:22Here.
01:03:23Here.
01:03:24Here.
01:03:25Here.
01:03:26Here.
01:03:27Here.
01:03:28Here.
01:03:29Here.
01:03:30Here.
01:03:31Here.
01:03:32Here.
01:03:33Here.
01:03:34Here.
01:03:35Here.
01:03:36Here.
01:03:37Here.
01:03:38Here.
01:03:39Here.
01:03:40Here.
01:03:41Here.
01:03:42Here.
01:03:43Here.
01:03:44Here.
01:03:45Here.
01:03:46Here.
01:03:47Here.
01:03:48Here.
01:03:49Here.
01:03:50Here.
01:03:51Here.
01:03:52Here.
01:03:53Here.
01:03:54Here.
01:03:55Here.
01:03:56Here.
01:03:57Here.
01:03:58Here.
01:03:59Here.
01:04:00Here.
01:04:01Here.
01:04:02Here.
01:04:03Here.
01:04:04Here.
01:04:05Here.
01:04:06Here.
01:04:07Here.
01:04:08Here.
01:04:09Here.
01:04:10I'll pull it off with my own eyes.
01:04:14Couple of turn offs coming up.
01:04:17What's the quickest way to New L.A.?
01:04:19That's funny.
01:04:20What?
01:04:23I can't, I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map.
01:04:27I think we stay on seven.
01:04:29I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
01:04:32Look at that.
01:04:37It's Sam, isn't it?
01:04:39Please stop the car.
01:04:41Sorry.
01:04:42We're having a race.
01:04:53Frankenstein, stop right now. We want to talk to you.
01:04:58Stop before I force you to.
01:05:09I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:15Annie, help me! Turn off the engine!
01:05:18Annie, stand. This is pain. He must have killed her.
01:05:23Now I'm really gonna let him the other dude.
01:05:24Look at that. The rebels have showed direction.
01:05:25Look at him.
01:05:27I'm not going to use it.
01:05:28You're not going to use it!
01:05:29That's all right.
01:05:30I'm going to have to be a step up.
01:05:31You're a long walker.
01:05:32You must have killed her.
01:05:34You're not going to die!
01:05:35You're not going to kill me!
01:05:36Now I'm really gonna let him in the oven.
01:05:50Look at that. The rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein.
01:05:53Thank you, rebels.
01:05:55Baby, I think we got this race won.
01:05:58Aren't we gonna help him, Joe?
01:06:00What, are you nuts or something?
01:06:01I'm getting my ass out of here before they decide to make emergency landing.
01:06:04Come on, sit down.
01:06:07That a girl.
01:06:34Come on.
01:06:35Come on.
01:06:36Come on.
01:06:37Come on.
01:06:38Come on.
01:06:39Oh, my God.
01:07:09Oh, my God.
01:07:39Oh, my God.
01:08:09Oh, my God.
01:08:10Oh, my God.
01:08:11Oh, my God.
01:08:12Oh, my God.
01:08:13Oh, my God.
01:08:14Oh, my God.
01:08:15Oh, my God.
01:08:16Oh, my God.
01:08:17Oh, my God.
01:08:18Oh, my God.
01:08:19Oh, my God.
01:08:20Oh, my God.
01:08:21Oh, my God.
01:08:22Oh, my God.
01:08:23Oh, my God.
01:08:24Oh, my God.
01:08:25Oh, my God.
01:08:26Oh, my God.
01:08:27Oh, my God.
01:08:28Oh, my God.
01:08:29Oh, my God.
01:08:30Oh, my God.
01:08:31Oh, my God.
01:08:32Oh, my God.
01:08:33Oh, my God.
01:08:34Oh, my God.
01:08:35Oh, my God.
01:08:36Oh, my God.
01:08:37Oh, my God.
01:08:38Oh, my God.
01:08:39Oh, my Lord.
01:08:40venidos to now on those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped.
01:08:41I'm sorry.
01:08:42I know they were your people.
01:08:45But I can't let anything stop me now.
01:08:46Oh, my God.
01:08:47Oh, my God.
01:08:52Oh, my God.
01:08:54I'll make it.
01:08:57I'm sorry things worked out this way.
01:09:01It's not over yet.
01:09:03I'm afraid it is.
01:09:05Hey!
01:09:24What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:09:39It doesn't make any difference what happens to me.
01:09:42Now that is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say.
01:09:45I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Payne's blood in your whole body.
01:09:49The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff.
01:09:54If you just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help.
01:09:58How can you possibly expect me to help you?
01:10:01You're my navigator.
01:10:03You're the only one who knows where you're going.
01:10:05I mean, whose side are you on, anyway?
01:10:08I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race.
01:10:11Sure.
01:10:13Only the winner of the race is to shake hands with Mr. President.
01:10:17Is that a grenade?
01:10:19A hand grenade.
01:10:20That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember.
01:10:26Now, wait a minute. I don't want you to die.
01:10:28It's my life's work.
01:10:33It's my life's work.
01:10:59It's my life's work.
01:11:04Why do I want to win this race so fast?
01:11:05Why do I want to win this race in the name of hate?
01:11:09One big fifty for hate.
01:11:23Hey!
01:11:53Hey!
01:11:55Hey!
01:12:11Hey!
01:12:17Hey!
01:12:23Oh, my God.
01:12:53Give me your hand.
01:13:06Give me your breath.
01:13:07Hey, son, will you stop the car?
01:13:25Shut up.
01:13:26What is that?
01:13:27Give me your hand.
01:13:28Give me your hand.
01:13:29Stop it.
01:13:30Stop it.
01:13:31Stop it.
01:13:32Stop it.
01:13:33Stop it.
01:13:34You're going to have to shift the gears for me now.
01:13:46The only thing that worries me is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President?
01:13:53Mr. President is the one who should be worried now.
01:14:16He's coming.
01:14:17Can you hear that engine?
01:14:19Still in perfect tune.
01:14:21Here he is, the one and only three-time winner and sole survivor of the 20th Annual Transcontinental
01:14:30Road Race, none other than Frankenstein himself.
01:14:34And now, Mr. President.
01:14:37Our enemy, the French, have destroyed nearly all our gallant races.
01:14:44Just as they have crippled our once great economy and wrecked our telephone system.
01:14:51But even they, in all their evil power, were unable to destroy Frankenstein, who is the embodiment
01:15:01of our national virtue, and therefore, indestructible.
01:15:06It is faith that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president to lead you in this war against the French,
01:15:16which I now decree.
01:15:18Frankenstein has been shot!
01:15:21There is a French spying army!
01:15:23Go!
01:15:24Feed that woman!
01:15:26Frankenstein, are you all right?
01:15:29You?
01:15:43Oh, that wasn't it?
01:15:45Ok.
01:15:46Certiبti!
01:15:48That was nasty, hon!
01:15:52It's all straight.
01:15:54Te��� told me!
01:15:55A judge!
01:15:57Oh, well he took me!
01:16:28Mr. and Mrs. President Frankenstein, dear friends of mine, can you tell us what your first official acts will be?
01:16:39I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles.
01:16:47The country has been governed from abroad long enough.
01:16:49Mr. President Frankenstein, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government?
01:16:55All right. Well, since I have accepted one into my house...
01:16:59President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Payne, in view of her experience in the field, as the Minister for Domestic Security.
01:17:08And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels.
01:17:12Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live.
01:17:16What about the race?
01:17:19The race is abolished.
01:17:21Abolished?
01:17:22That's right.
01:17:23We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence to show the world that its virility is still intact.
01:17:30Right.
01:17:30But, Mr. President Frankenstein, isn't it true that as a racer your popularity depended entirely on violence?
01:17:36I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question.
01:17:41Stop annoying Mr. President with impartinent questions, Junior.
01:17:44It's the race, man.
01:17:47President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race.
01:17:50The American people won't stand for it.
01:17:52Get out of the way, Junior.
01:17:54The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear.
01:17:57Our American way of life.
01:17:59Sure it's violent, but that's the way we love it.
01:18:02Violent, violent, violent.
01:18:03And that's why we love you.
01:18:05Frank, do we have to listen to this?
01:18:07Be violent!
01:18:08No.
01:18:08Who wouldn't have wanted to make it?
01:18:10As do this matter of violence, the technique of violence was first developed in 2 million B.C. by the Australopithecines,
01:18:28a tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of, but who, nevertheless, invented the tomahawk and used it on each other.
01:18:38This practice led to the enlargement of the brain, another useful weapon.
01:18:44Yes, murder was invented even before man began to think.
01:18:48Now, of course, man has become known as the thinking animal.
01:18:54Now, of course, it was Lieutenant Kille exactly.
01:18:57Now, of course and раньше,
01:18:58there was no sense of power also for human being.
01:19:13BAYE GASTONY mechanical Methodist
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