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BRITCOM I
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00:00Hello, Mr. Waddle. Have you lost something?
00:08Oh, Miss Corthorn, I was just looking for my daughter, Millie, but she's not in the milking parlor.
00:14I thought I saw her by the old Dutch barn, but I may be mistaken.
00:19The old barn? What on earth would she be doing there?
00:22Oh, Jethro.
00:35Oh, Millie.
00:37What am I going to tell father?
00:39Tell him that we're in love and there's nothing he can do. The crabby old mcudger, curmudgeon.
00:52Millie, I thought you'd put an end to this wretched tryst.
00:57It's not a tryst, Daddy. We're getting married.
01:04You have been listening to The Muckles, an everyday story of farming folk.
01:09The radio newsreel follows shortly.
01:15Here he is!
01:16That was it for you, Kenny. Another winner?
01:18I mean, it should work, once we put a symphony under it.
01:22As you know, recently the press have been less than kind to us, saying it's high time the show was humanely slaughtered.
01:28I try not to read those reviews.
01:30Unfortunately, I have to.
01:33But I've found a way to make the show a bit more authentic.
01:36We're going to spend a week in the country.
01:38See the landscape that inspired The Muckles.
01:41Mix and mingle with actual local yokels.
01:43Sorry, you want us to actually go there?
01:45Yes, darling. As opposed to closing our eyes and imagining it.
01:48That does sound rather jolly.
01:50We'll see all the sights, then come back suitably refreshed and get to work.
01:56Oh, no.
01:57We'll be broadcasting all our shows there.
02:01Live.
02:02What?
02:04I can't believe the Muckles are actually coming to our village.
02:08And they will be recording in our church.
02:10I believe the producer was born here.
02:14It's like meeting long-lost family.
02:17I've been following their adventures for years.
02:20Yes, Miss Utivine, but remember, they do not know you.
02:24Of course.
02:25I'll endeavour to be nonchalant.
02:27They're here!
02:28Hello, everybody!
02:42And do you all love the Muckles?
02:45And who's your favourite character in New York?
02:49That is the correct answer!
02:55Hello, there.
02:57You must be Mr. Muckle.
02:59Well, yes, I suppose I am.
03:01I'm a big fan.
03:03I cried my eyes out when your dog fell in the threshing machine.
03:06Well, that's very kind.
03:09I'm sorry.
03:09Excuse me.
03:10Hello, there.
03:14Hello.
03:15You must excuse him.
03:16He's been reading the script on the bus and he does get a bit emotional.
03:19Of course.
03:21I'm Mrs. Isabelle Devine.
03:22If there's anything you need or anything I can do...
03:25So you actually live here?
03:27That's right.
03:28All the time?
03:29I won't live anywhere else for the world.
03:32Oh, sorry.
03:34You see, I know a lot of people come to the country at the weekend,
03:36but you forget that there are people who live here all the time.
03:41It's lovely to meet you.
03:47Hello.
03:48I'm Kenneth Clay, writer and producer of the Muckles.
03:52Father Brown.
03:53I guessed as much.
03:54I knew your predecessor, Father Smythe.
03:56I heard you were a native of Campbellford.
03:59Many moons ago.
04:01Oh, the church.
04:03That will look magnificent in our publicity photographs.
04:05Bells.
04:08Yes, we have eight.
04:11They're not going to ring, are they, when we're broadcasting?
04:14Our studio is rather ramshackle.
04:16Well, they will ring tomorrow for Sunday Mass,
04:19and then I assure you they will be silent for the rest of the week.
04:22Oh, marvellous.
04:24Panic over.
04:25Kenneth!
04:26Yes?
04:27It's lovely being here and talking to these country bumpkins.
04:31But where is our hotel?
04:34You see that farmhouse over there?
04:46Well, this is very rustic.
04:49However, did you find it?
04:50Um, I was born here.
04:52Really?
04:53Yes.
04:54I can still see Father coming through this door.
04:56Mother telling him to take his muddy boots off.
04:58Kenneth, this is all fascinating.
05:01But is there a telephone?
05:02I think I might need to make a phone call.
05:06Uh, yes, uh, down this corridor in the hallway.
05:08Yeah, thank you.
05:13And what I want to know is which is the biggest bedroom?
05:18Up the stairs, first door on the left.
05:21Lovely.
05:22Typical.
05:23Hello again.
05:25Oh, hello.
05:25Um, I forgot to give you these.
05:27Sausage rolls and a Victoria sponge.
05:29Oh, I never say no to a nice sausage roll.
05:32Our producer was just saying this was his family home.
05:35I still own it.
05:37I think it's remarkable.
05:38You always said Mr. Mucker was based on your father,
05:41but I've no idea he was a real farmer.
05:45Farming was his livelihood, but he had another passion.
05:49I'll show you.
05:49Oh, it's a Type 45 radio.
06:03Are you interested in broadcasting equipment?
06:06I'm afraid, Mr. Clay.
06:08I'm interested in almost everything.
06:10So, was your father a radio ham?
06:13My father was no ham.
06:15Ham can be cured.
06:16And he, uh, he used this kit to broadcast to fellow enthusiasts,
06:21giving out useful information in the dark days of the last war.
06:25And you followed his footsteps into the world of radio.
06:28I did.
06:30And now, whenever we give out farming advice on the Muckles,
06:33well, I only hope I'm worthy of him.
06:39The Muckles.
06:41That's right.
06:42You a fan?
06:42Ooh, as soon as I hear that theme tune,
06:45I run towards the radio to turn it off.
06:47Friend, that's not fair.
06:50Once you've been listening for years, they become family.
06:52All the more precious when your own family aren't around.
06:55Although you did say it's not quite as good as it was.
06:58I suppose.
06:59Although I am looking forward to Millie and Jethro's wedding episode.
07:05Speaking of which.
07:08Oh, my word.
07:11It's wonderful.
07:13I only hope my wedding can be half as glamorous.
07:16What do they want all this stuff for?
07:18It's on the radio.
07:20Publicity photographs.
07:22Oh.
07:22It's for the Radio Times.
07:24We are behind the scenes.
07:26Oh.
07:27Is it a good fit?
07:28It's fine.
07:29So long as I don't breathe.
07:31How's the clay?
07:33Oh, Father Brown.
07:34We're just making a few last-minute adjustments.
07:41Charlie, could you please put on the top hat?
07:44I don't think so.
07:46It's a small magazine,
07:47and if we're going to fit all of my face on that cover, then...
07:50Just do it to humour me?
07:54Yes, mein Fuhrer.
07:55I must say, the acoustics in this place are marvellous.
08:03We'll work wonderfully with the actual episode.
08:05Yes, Annabelle.
08:06You can whistle a happy tune here.
08:08Oh, Miss Warmly, you look...
08:16Ravishing.
08:19I mean, it's a beautiful dress.
08:22The photographer seems to agree.
08:24He's actually keen to get me on the cover.
08:26Of course.
08:28Well, are you ready for your close-up?
08:30Oh, thank you.
08:31Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
08:44Hello, hello, people.
08:46How'd you like a slice of my lovely, lovely cakey?
08:51Mamma mia, she used to make it a cake
08:53and eat it a cake every single day.
08:55But, you know, mamma, she did not live too long.
08:58Oh, lady, would you like to try and have a cake?
09:03No, thank you.
09:05Just a little slice of the cake?
09:07No.
09:07But your eyes, your eyes on the cake, they matched!
09:12Oh, you stupid, selfish little worm.
09:17Why do you always have to ruin everything?
09:19Why don't you just drop down dead?
09:21Elizabeth!
09:25Elizabeth!
09:26Come on!
09:28Jim!
09:29In here.
09:42So, Mr. Buckle,
09:44this wedding will be happening,
09:50whether he likes it.
09:51Oh, no.
09:57Two minutes over.
09:59It should be all right with a few judicious cuts.
10:06However, we don't have anyone to do sound effects.
10:08Why not?
10:09Mivanry has been in a minor car crash.
10:12This whole show is a car crash.
10:15Elizabeth, you've done it before.
10:17Could you operate just for this evening?
10:18Well, no.
10:20How can I?
10:21I have that big speech on page seven.
10:24Although we were looking at making some cuts,
10:27so if we were to get rid of your speech...
10:29It's not ideal, I know, but we're running out of time,
10:32and I keep wondering what calamity's going to come through that door next.
10:38Hello, it's us.
10:40Hello, Father Brown.
10:42So glad you can make it.
10:43We're very keen to see what goes into a live broadcast.
10:47Blood, sweat and tears, mostly.
10:49Oh, it's all happening here.
10:51Yes, indeed.
10:52Charlie, can you do your warm-up in the green room, please?
10:56Yeah, vour!
10:58Goodness, it does seem quite chaotic.
11:01Yes.
11:02We're just dealing with a few pre-performance nerves,
11:05but once that on-air sign comes on,
11:08all will be well.
11:09It's amazing.
11:21Daddy, if you close your eyes, you can actually see the axe.
11:24You're coming out far, boy.
11:26Please, Daddy.
11:27Jethro would like a word with you.
11:30Really?
11:31Well, come on, then.
11:33What are you going to say for yourself?
11:34Mm-mm.
11:34Mm-mm.
11:35Mm-mm.
11:36Mr. Morkle!
11:40Play the music.
11:42For God's sake, play the music!
11:46You have been listening to the Muckles.
11:48And every day is going...
11:51Charlie!
11:52...arming folk.
11:53Charlie!
11:53The radio in Israel follows shortly.
11:56Charlie!
12:04It's too late.
12:05I'm not many parts of the Sifilii Spiritus Sancti, honey.
12:20Are you all right?
12:22Just a bit shaken.
12:25Father, I assume you witnessed the proceedings?
12:28Yes, I did.
12:31Throughout the episode, Mr. Chumley seemed...
12:34...in discomfort.
12:36Then, at the end, he suffered a paroxysm.
12:40Had he had anything to eat or drink in the past hour?
12:43That was that throat spray.
12:45He was gulping that down like he was dying of thirst.
12:49Who's in charge here?
12:52I am.
12:53Kenneth Clay.
12:55Though perhaps not for much longer.
12:57Twenty million people just had a man die live on air.
12:59Don't know about that.
13:01Where'd the wireless on at the station?
13:02Sounded like Jethro being on the cider again.
13:05Thank goodness for that.
13:06Well, I need a drink.
13:07Or you'll have another body on the floor.
13:09I'll get you some water.
13:10No.
13:11No-one's to touch anything.
13:13I'll take your statements outside.
13:16It's going to be a long night.
13:17Hello there.
13:25Something smells good.
13:27Mrs. Watson left us some bits and pieces and some eggs from the hen house.
13:33Oh, lovely.
13:34This whole week could be rather jolly if it wasn't for all the disasters.
13:40I couldn't sleep a wink.
13:41I kept seeing him writhing on the floor, reaching out for help.
13:45You do know that if you get nervous in the night, you can always come into my room and...
13:50No, no, no.
13:51Sorry.
13:52Sorry, that sounded a bit dumb.
13:54No.
13:55It's fine.
13:59Well, anyone who says an actress' life is easy should spend a night in this hellhole.
14:04A mattress made of straw and an absolute maniac underneath me.
14:08Maniac?
14:09Oh, Kenneth, I'm just over his study.
14:12And he was up all night, bash, bash, bashing on that machine of his.
14:17Listen!
14:24He's left me, Daddy.
14:25He's called off the wedding.
14:28Oh, darling, is it too soon to say good riddance to bad rubbish?
14:32What are you listening to?
14:35Father Brown, we were just listening to our producer.
14:39Yes, he records all his episodes on tape, and then he types them up.
14:43And as you can imagine, we're very keen to know what happens next.
14:47Oh, good morning.
14:51Now, I've spoken to the DG, the head of department, and Charlie's mother, and everyone's very keen
14:57that we continue.
14:58Now, we're keeping his death quiet for now, but we'll make an announcement on Friday.
15:02Ah, the wedding episode.
15:05I take it you will not now be requiring St. Mary's.
15:08Actually, we will.
15:11Millie is going to be jilted at the altar, rejected by the only man she ever loved.
15:15There won't be a dry eye in the United Kingdom.
15:19Marvelous!
15:20And what about Mr. Muckle?
15:21Ah, he's going to make peace with his daughter, apologise for all the hurt he's caused, and
15:26then he's going to try and persuade her that there are brighter days ahead.
15:29Oh.
15:31Oh, sounds good.
15:33Now, as it's a lovely day, I think we should go and rehearse outside.
15:37Although, I, um, I still need someone to do sound effects.
15:43Hmm?
15:43Um.
15:48Cowbells, fog horns, and wind noises.
15:51Why do you think of me?
15:53He saw how he engrossed you her yesterday evening, and Mr. Clay's a very good judge of character.
15:59Welcome.
16:01This is the barn where my father would gather winter fodder.
16:04I'm home covered in chaff.
16:05Right.
16:07Are you sitting comfortably?
16:09Well, then we'll begin.
16:10Now, let's make some Muckles magic.
16:15Oh, Miss Hawthorne, I must say, you've worked wonders with my old Aberdeen Longhorn.
16:21Whatever is your secret?
16:23It's very simple.
16:24Her udders were looking a little sore, so I rubbed on my unguent, spearmint flower and fresh
16:30chamomile.
16:31Well, it's had the most remarkable effect on her yields.
16:34Which just goes to show, when you treat animals with respect, they repay you tenfold.
16:42Speaking of respect, you do need to sort things with your daughter.
16:46Millie has made her own bed, be it lumpy and uncomfortable.
16:49Mr. Muckle, Jethro may be coarse and uncouth, but he has a good heart.
16:55And love is such a rare...
16:58And precious thing in this world, carry on.
17:01Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for interrupting.
17:03We, um, need a word with Miss Hawthorne.
17:05I mean...
17:07Elizabeth, warmly, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Charlie Chumley.
17:16Oh, Father, I can't bear it.
17:19They've been interrogating me for three hours.
17:22After a while, you want to confess just to make it stop.
17:24Why did they arrest you?
17:28Apparently, someone put poison in Charlie's throat spray.
17:33Strychnine.
17:35And they found traces of it on my sound effects table.
17:38They've been going through all my possessions, my luggage, my clothes.
17:43It didn't help that yesterday you told him to drop Dan dead.
17:47For once in his life, he listened.
17:48I can see that Mr Chumley was not easy to get on with.
17:56Do you know of anyone who might have a lethal grudge against him?
18:01Well, there was Annabelle.
18:04I mean, she had to marry him.
18:06Ah, yes.
18:07I knew she was dreading this trip.
18:09Demanded Wednesday morning off so she could go back to London.
18:13And then on Sunday night...
18:15Yes?
18:16I heard her on the telephone to her agent, sobbing, saying Charlie had ruined everything.
18:24Did she say how?
18:26I never heard that.
18:30Please.
18:31I have to get back to Graham.
18:36We must work on our scenes.
18:40Yes, Miss Whirling.
18:41I would do everything possible to make sure that happens.
18:49Father, I feel I'm in hell.
18:52I mean, poor Charlie.
18:53But then poor Elizabeth.
18:55And poor everyone.
18:57We don't even know if the show is safe.
19:00It must be a very precarious occupation, acting.
19:05Forever searching for the next job.
19:06Yes.
19:07Yes.
19:08It's a non-stop round of begging letters and auditions.
19:11Is that why you asked for Wednesday morning off?
19:14So you could go back to London?
19:17No.
19:19No, I won't be going to London.
19:21No?
19:22I had an audition.
19:25But now I don't.
19:27Would that have been for a show called The King and I?
19:31How do you know?
19:32Well, at the wedding photography session yesterday, Charlie Chumley taunted you.
19:38He said you could whistle a happy tune, and that is a song from The King and I.
19:44It is.
19:45And it was going to be my West End debut.
19:48Only on Sunday night, my agent said that they didn't want to see me.
19:53Someone had told them that I was unreliable.
19:56Unreliable!
19:57Me!
19:57And you think that someone was Charlie Chumley?
20:01It had to be.
20:02He was the only one who knew.
20:04Why would Mr Chumley sabotage your career?
20:09Isn't it obvious?
20:11He wanted to be the star of the Muckles.
20:14And by marrying me, taking over the farm.
20:17But if I left, it would make life difficult for him.
20:20So I think he made a few phone calls and...
20:23Come in.
20:24Hello.
20:28We have a situation in the pigsty.
20:36Hello.
20:38The father, forgive me.
20:40I was just looking for the piggies.
20:44Napoléon.
20:45Snowball.
20:46Squealer.
20:47Kenneth, you do know it's not a farm anymore.
20:51The animals died some time ago.
20:53They're all still here in my memory.
20:56Running around, little...
20:58Little curly tails.
21:00Annabelle, could you come in with me?
21:03But I've got my swades on.
21:05Then could you make a strong pot of coffee?
21:07Yes, I could definitely do that.
21:09Do you know what they call a little piggy?
21:21The teeniest in the litter.
21:24That would be the runt.
21:26Yes.
21:28That's what my father used to call me.
21:30You're a runt.
21:32A pathetic seven-stone weakling.
21:34But I am not a runt.
21:38I am BBC producer.
21:40Yes, and a very fine one.
21:42No, I'm not.
21:44I just seem to ruin everything.
21:47I thought coming here would breathe new life into the show,
21:50but...
21:51Charlie's dead.
21:53There's a business been locked up.
21:56And I don't know what to do for tonight's episode.
21:59Kenneth, give me that.
22:00That was a disgusting waste.
22:10Not at all.
22:11In fact, the earthworms are having a marvellous party.
22:14But your job is to entertain the nation.
22:17What, we haven't got a show.
22:18Oh, come on, Kenneth.
22:21Where there were storms than this?
22:24Storms?
22:27Storms, yes.
22:28Yes, that's it.
22:30Well done, Mr. Snow.
22:40Very persuasive.
22:41The thing is, my part was based on his father,
22:44so I always get through to him.
22:47Now I just have to work out what to do for poor Elizabeth.
22:51Miss Wormley.
23:00Miss Wormley.
23:00Oh, dear.
23:01Not more questions?
23:03No.
23:03But it's seven o'clock.
23:05I thought you might like to listen to the wireless.
23:07I'd rather be on it.
23:09But it will be nice to know how my friends are doing.
23:12All right, then.
23:13Oh, this is the most terrible storm.
23:32You think I don't know?
23:34I'm soaked to the skin.
23:35Millie, I know we've had our disagreements,
23:38but we have to work together for the sake of the farm.
23:41Poor Miss Hawthorne's gone missing.
23:44Where are her horses?
23:45I think they've bolted.
23:47Moonlight?
23:49Moonlight!
23:50Moonlight!
23:50How's the head, Mr. Clay?
23:54Oh, much better, thank you.
23:57I was just rather overwhelmed by recent events,
23:59but everything's back on track now.
24:06Be easy, boy.
24:07Be easy.
24:11Well, I thought that was the best episode ever.
24:15Your wind noises were wonderful.
24:17I know.
24:18And when the horse got stuck in the mud,
24:20you know it's not real,
24:21but you start to see it in front of you.
24:23I think it's because we're all listening together.
24:2520 million people all believing.
24:29The episode's going very well,
24:31in spite of all the disasters.
24:34And now they have another disaster.
24:38No, Chief Constable.
24:39She clearly told them to drop down dead.
24:42No, not in the programme.
24:44She actually said it in real life.
24:45Excuse me.
24:48Please tell me you have some good news from the labs.
24:53Mr. Clay?
25:03Mr. Clay?
25:04I know, Daddy, can't be.
25:16I'm afraid so.
25:18Crushed with an old old tree.
25:23Father Brown?
25:25Mr. Clay, forgive me.
25:27I am, as you know, an avid Muckles listener.
25:30Fair enough, though I would prefer you to wait till the actual episode.
25:33Which I'm sure will be gripping.
25:37I've just read the interview with the late Charlie Chumley.
25:41Oh, Lord.
25:43Break it to me gently.
25:46He said he writes scripts for the Muckles.
25:51No, absolutely not.
25:53That was just Charlie spinning a yarn.
25:55Believe me, there is only one captain on this ship.
25:57And what would the captain do, Mr. Clay, should one of the crew threaten mutiny?
26:04Father, I hope you're not suggesting something unsavoury.
26:09There were many times I could have cheerfully murdered Charlie Chumley, but I've been through hell this week, writing and rewriting.
26:15We will have a wonderful episode in the church this evening.
26:19But nothing like my original plan.
26:21What was the original plan?
26:23Well, it was going to be the wedding episode.
26:27Jethro would be late, of course.
26:28Always adds to the drama.
26:29And then, at the end of this joyous, happy episode, Mr. Muckle was going to die.
26:37What?
26:38That's the reaction I was hoping for.
26:40Certainly surprised Graham on the bus.
26:42But I kept telling him if you're going to go, you may as well go in style.
26:46We've got a visitor.
26:47Apparently, some very important solicitor, who knows the chief constable, demanded that they look at the evidence again.
26:57And as there's nothing conclusive, I'm out on police bail, pending further inquiries.
27:02But who exactly instructed this solicitor?
27:05I don't know.
27:06I must have a guardian angel.
27:09It doesn't matter who it was.
27:11The main thing is, you're in tonight's show.
27:14And the show must go on.
27:17Mr. Snow, might I have a private word?
27:27I presume you were responsible for the solicitor.
27:32Was it that obvious?
27:34The thing is, I know beyond all doubt she didn't do it.
27:38How can you be so sure?
27:40Because Elizabeth is the kindest person I've ever met.
27:44She's just like the sun.
27:45As soon as she appears, everyone feels better.
27:51You in love with her, Mr. Snow?
27:54More than you could possibly imagine.
27:56Have you told her about your feelings?
27:59How could I?
28:01We have the most wonderful time together, but what if she doesn't feel the same way?
28:07So, no, no, I just carry on, sharing a microphone, but never my feelings.
28:16Admiring Miss Warmly from afar.
28:19That that was about to change.
28:23You were going to be written out of the Muckles.
28:26Indeed, on the way here, you read a script in which he dies.
28:31Which distressed you greatly.
28:33Well, of course he did.
28:34How would you feel?
28:35I've been totally devoted to this show, and then to be tossed aside.
28:39And yet you were not tossed aside.
28:42Thanks to Mr. Chumley's death, you will remain, as will Miss Warmly.
28:48Father Brown, I don't know who killed Charlie.
28:51But I would never be brave enough.
28:53You see, I've been in love with Elizabeth for ten years, and I'm still too terrified to tell her.
29:00I'm not a man who takes risks.
29:03Indeed.
29:05But an hour ago, Miss Warmly was in a cell, and now she's enjoying the taste of freedom.
29:12Perhaps it's time you escaped from your cell.
29:20Here we go.
29:21Hot off the press.
29:22So, what's actually going to happen?
29:25Millie learns of the death of Jethro.
29:28And will be furious with her father, of course.
29:31But Miss Hawthorne will bring them back together.
29:34Then, having brought peace to the Muckles, she reveals that her sister is very ill, and she has to move back to London.
29:41London?
29:42The thing is, Elizabeth, it's marvellous that you're out on bail, but who knows what happens next?
29:47We have to think of the show.
29:48Now, hang on.
29:49No, no, no.
29:50I understand.
29:51And we also need a friend and confidant for Millie.
29:55Father Brown?
29:59Yes?
30:00I realise this is unlikely, but do you know of any actresses?
30:05This is the greatest honour of my entire life.
30:15Although, I am terrified.
30:16What if I mess up my first line?
30:18What is your first line?
30:20Hello, Millie.
30:22I'm not going to think about the 20 million listeners.
30:25I'm doing it for these people.
30:27My friends.
30:28Oh, there's Edgar.
30:29Isn't it romantic?
30:35If you see any decorations you like, just let me know, and I'll try and keep hold of them.
30:40Oh, that's wonderful as well, but I'm afraid I'm not here just for your performance.
30:44I'm also here to keep an eye on someone who remains our number one suspect.
30:48Oh.
30:48But good luck.
30:51Hello, everyone.
30:59Thank you for coming to this live transmission of the Muckles.
31:03We would ask you please to remain in your pews and avoid any extraneous noise.
31:08Obviously, I have asked Father Brown to silence the bells.
31:12Are we ready at the back?
31:13When the on-air sign illuminates, we will be live to the nation.
31:22Good luck.
31:24Mr. Clay, may I have a word?
31:27I am a bit busy.
31:29But I'm afraid this can't wait.
31:31And I'm sure the show will go on without you.
31:33Tonight's episode is dedicated to Mr. Charlie Chumley, a much-loved member of the Muckles cast, who sadly passed away this week.
31:52May I say, it is such a great privilege to watch you work, conjuring stories out of thin air and committing them to tape.
32:06Well, I've had to do that.
32:07Sheer pressure of time.
32:09I heard the recording you made of your characters reacting to the death of Jethro.
32:14And in the background, I could hear the church bells.
32:17But the bells only rang on Sunday this week.
32:22Which means that you were preparing for the death of Charlie Chumley while he was still alive.
32:28I think you're forgetting my profession, Father.
32:30I do use sound effects.
32:32And I think you're forgetting mine.
32:34I would know the sound of St. Mary's bells anywhere.
32:41What did Mr. Chumley do that made you decide he had to die?
32:47Or what did he discover?
32:49I suspect the answer lies in your father's love of radio.
32:56What do you mean?
32:57I was very intrigued by the map in his study.
33:01Great Britain.
33:02Studied with pins.
33:04London.
33:05Coventry.
33:06Liverpool.
33:07Southampton.
33:07And then I realised they were all cities that suffered major bombing raids in World War II.
33:16Strange thing for a farmer to record.
33:19And then when I returned, the map had been removed.
33:23It was in the way.
33:25I wanted to make the place my own.
33:26William Joyce, the traitor, known as Lord Haw-Haw, broadcast every night on behalf of the Nazi party, celebrating every bomb that fell.
33:40I wonder, did your father attempt the same sort of thing?
33:44Perhaps as an aficionado, he would know how to evade detection by the authorities.
33:50And then, Mr. Chumley called you Mein Fuhrer.
33:59I wonder, did Charlie Chumley find out your father's secret?
34:05I should have known that Charlie would go snooping.
34:07He went looking for beer or cigarettes.
34:17And he found something a lot more deadly.
34:31What's this?
34:33Oh, my word.
34:35What?
34:37Oh, for me.
34:38Here.
34:46What are you doing?
34:47Hmm.
34:49I'm reading a letter from an old friend of your father's.
34:55What friend?
34:56Oh, it's a German name.
34:59Oh, look at that.
35:01It's Joseph Goebbels.
35:04Well, father would never...
35:05So, Mr. Chumley knew a terrible secret.
35:15And had immense power.
35:17He did.
35:18Suddenly he thought he was in charge of the show.
35:20He gave me a list of suggestions.
35:23And they were awful.
35:24So, have you had a look at my ideas?
35:28Well, I did, but you must be joking.
35:33Jethro's evil twin.
35:34Jethro's evil twin.
35:36Flying saucers.
35:37An alien invasion.
35:39It would kill the show.
35:41Then...
35:42Why don't we do an episode where someone turns out to be a Nazi instead?
35:49You could not allow him to destroy the beautiful thing you created.
35:53So you had to destroy him.
35:56It all seemed to fall into place.
35:58The farmhouse was full of rat poison.
36:05I mean, he had that ridiculous throat spray he used to use.
36:12I had hoped that he would die later at the pub.
36:17Charlie always had terrible timing.
36:18When he died, you ran to loosen his clothing.
36:28You were picking his pocket.
36:31To retrieve the letter from Mayor Goebbels.
36:34An everyday story of farming folk.
36:37Charlie.
36:38Charlie.
36:42I had hoped to keep my father's secret.
36:46I can't even manage that.
36:48Your father went to his maker and was judged.
36:53Now, you have to confess and beg God's forgiveness.
36:59Confess?
37:00How can I?
37:02I am the Muckles' father.
37:04I created it.
37:06Without my particular vision, it would be lost.
37:10Your program is left by millions, but...
37:13You must tell the truth and save your soul.
37:17For the sake of my listeners.
37:18I must keep my head down and carry on.
37:21Now, if you'll excuse me, Father.
37:23Oh, Millie.
37:34I know this was meant to be the happiest day of your life,
37:38but just be glad you've got your friends and family who love you very much.
37:43I know.
37:45And Jethro will always live on in my heart.
37:50Well, I'm just glad we're all friends again.
37:53Because, as you know, my sister is very ill.
37:57And family is the most precious thing.
38:00And so I must leave you.
38:02No!
38:04No!
38:06No!
38:07You can't possibly go.
38:10What?
38:11Um, well, why have I not?
38:14Because...
38:16I love you!
38:17Well, I don't think anyone was expecting that ending.
38:44But they seem to like it.
38:47Yes.
38:48It certainly came as a surprise to me.
38:51But a very welcome one.
38:53Kenneth, I'm...
38:56I'm so sorry.
38:58That was most unprofessional of me.
39:01No.
39:02In fact, it was perfect.
39:04And it's made me realise the show can go on without me.
39:08What do you mean, darling?
39:09You are the show.
39:11Not anymore.
39:14Chief Inspector, may I have a word?
39:17Certainly.
39:18So, thank you, my darlings.
39:25Please, look after the show for me.
39:28So, have you enjoyed your week in Camberford, Miss Binky?
39:44Well, it's been...
39:46extraordinary.
39:48But I don't know how people cope with no theatre,
39:51no cinema, no culture of any kind.
39:53Hang on.
39:54We can still turn on the radio and listen to you.
39:58Of course.
40:00And that's what keeps you going.
40:02Well, I'd better get back to London and make some more episodes.
40:06Goodbye.
40:07Father Brown, I want to thank you for performing a miracle.
40:15And which miracle would that be?
40:18You got a crusty old curmudgeon to open his heart.
40:22It was a miracle I'd been waiting for for ten years.
40:25And you'll be pleased to hear we've spoken to our new producer.
40:28Oh, so what's going to happen?
40:30There will be wedding bells, both on the programme and in real life.
40:36Oh, well...
40:38Goodbye.
40:41Goodbye.
40:41Goodbye.
40:52You know, I said I can't stand the Muckles.
40:58Yes.
41:00I kind of like it now.
41:02I think I might miss them.
41:03Oh, Brenda.
41:05You don't need to miss them.
41:07They'll always be there for you.
41:09Every evening at seven.
41:12Your invisible friends.
41:14Oh.
41:14Oh.
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