- 2 days ago
Fake Fiancé, Real Fire shortmintz
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Wait, what are you doing? That is an original.
00:00:03I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:00:06Oh, fine! I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:00:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion. You're treating me like shit!
00:00:16That's from the Renaissance! You are history's worst nightmare!
00:00:19I tried to make this work with you. We signed a contract!
00:00:22For an arranged marriage! Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:00:27You are such a simpleton!
00:00:31Wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:00:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat! I tried to get along with you, you brought this onto yourself!
00:00:38I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:40Right back at you!
00:00:42I fucking hate you!
00:00:44I fucking hate you more!
00:01:00So, you were arrested. Again!
00:01:11To be fair, you thought I was legal. We'll just swim there.
00:01:15There is a fence around that reservoir. It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters!
00:01:23If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:01:27To be fair, you!
00:01:29Come on, Gucci. Come on!
00:01:32Good boy!
00:01:34Oh!
00:01:40Come on, Gucci. Let's go!
00:01:42Hey!
00:01:43Oh, you do.
00:01:50Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:01:56You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy,
00:02:00it reflects on me.
00:02:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:02:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:02:09I make my own money.
00:02:11Oh, you see, you see.
00:02:13Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:02:15I am the spokesperson for Man Bone.
00:02:18That means free underwear for life.
00:02:20For life.
00:02:21Some parents would be proud.
00:02:23Yeah, other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:02:27You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:02:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:02:36Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:02:40And don't be late.
00:02:43Bye, Dad.
00:02:45Excuse me.
00:02:54Excuse me.
00:03:02Hello, my Gucci.
00:03:04Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:08He needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:03:13Like you, Amelia.
00:03:15Good one, Romulus.
00:03:17These are great.
00:03:34Hmm.
00:03:35I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:03:37Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:03:39No problem.
00:03:40Cool.
00:03:41Let's take five and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:03:48Hi.
00:03:50Michelangelo.
00:03:51Chantal.
00:03:52Nice to meet you.
00:03:54I...
00:03:55couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:03:57Uh, I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:04:02Hold that thought.
00:04:05Hey, Dad.
00:04:06Where the hell were ya?
00:04:09Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:04:10You're supposed to be at the office.
00:04:13Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:04:16I can meet him later.
00:04:17Now the suit lady's back on the plane again.
00:04:19Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:04:22Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:04:24You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:04:26You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:04:30You interned.
00:04:31You went to business school.
00:04:33You...
00:04:34You have potential, okay?
00:04:35But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:04:37The CEO?
00:04:38Well, you're gonna have to prove it.
00:04:39Cause so far...
00:04:41I ain't seen Niente from you.
00:04:44Bye, Dad.
00:04:48Hey.
00:04:49You okay?
00:04:50You okay?
00:04:51Yeah.
00:04:52Um...
00:04:53But...
00:04:54I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:04:56So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:05:13Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:05:17Oh my god.
00:05:18There is an experimental treatment.
00:05:21But it's really expensive.
00:05:24And the insurance doesn't cover it.
00:05:26Don't worry about that.
00:05:29I have money saved.
00:05:31I'll find the rest.
00:05:32We will figure this out, okay?
00:05:34We're gonna get through this.
00:05:35Together.
00:05:37Julia.
00:05:38Julia.
00:05:51Ciao, Gucci.
00:05:52Did she have a good walk?
00:05:58What's wrong?
00:05:59Yeah.
00:06:04I'm sorry.
00:06:05This is...
00:06:06No, no.
00:06:07Forget about it.
00:06:08I'm sorry about your sister.
00:06:09The treatments are just really expensive.
00:06:12I have a savings.
00:06:14For my doggy daycare.
00:06:15My dream.
00:06:16But...
00:06:19It's only enough for one treatment.
00:06:21And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:06:23Betsy practically raised us.
00:06:26After our parents passed.
00:06:28I would do anything for her.
00:06:31Amelia.
00:06:33I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:06:36You do?
00:06:38Come back tonight.
00:06:40And...
00:06:42Make something nice.
00:06:46Come on, baby.
00:06:53Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:06:56Except for the dog hair.
00:06:59Come with me.
00:07:00I have someone I want you to meet.
00:07:01Are they from Italy?
00:07:02Yes.
00:07:03Wow.
00:07:04Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:07:05Well...
00:07:06Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:07:08I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday, huh?
00:07:09Mm-hmm.
00:07:10Yeah.
00:07:11Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:07:12I'm a dog walker.
00:07:13Don't be so defensive.
00:07:14I wasn't.
00:07:15I wasn't.
00:07:16I wasn't.
00:07:17Mm-hmm.
00:07:18Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:07:19I have some unfinished business to do.
00:07:20Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:07:22I'll be really happy.
00:07:23I'll be very happy.
00:07:24I'll be very happy.
00:07:25I'll be happy.
00:07:26I'll be happy.
00:07:27I'll be happy.
00:07:28I'll be happy.
00:07:29You're the cleaning lady?
00:07:30I'm a dog walker.
00:07:31Don't be so defensive.
00:07:32I wasn't.
00:07:33Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:07:35I have some unfinished business to do.
00:07:37Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:07:40Amelia.
00:07:42Arrivederci, huh?
00:07:43Yeah?
00:07:51Do you want to do me a favor?
00:07:57What exactly?
00:08:05How does it look?
00:08:06Not half bad.
00:08:08I mean, it's fine.
00:08:10Whatever.
00:08:13Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:08:17Or not.
00:08:18I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:08:20You work for my dad.
00:08:21You have to do what I say.
00:08:23You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:08:25Just a few more pictures.
00:08:27I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:08:29I don't need Tinder.
00:08:31I'm an underwear model.
00:08:32My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:08:35Whatever.
00:08:36Whatever.
00:08:41Pour me another.
00:08:42I told you.
00:08:43Now!
00:08:45Fine.
00:08:54See, dog walker.
00:08:56That wasn't so hard.
00:08:57What the fuck?
00:08:58This is fucking Prada!
00:08:59Oh!
00:09:00Asshole!
00:09:01You crazy bitch!
00:09:02Amelia!
00:09:03Whoa!
00:09:04What's wrong?
00:09:05I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out!
00:09:06I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:09:07I'm going to be leaving.
00:09:08No, no, no, please.
00:09:09I apologize.
00:09:10My son, he's immature.
00:09:11All right?
00:09:12And that's why I invited you.
00:09:13Poor Florida.
00:09:14Please.
00:09:15All right?
00:09:16Just have a seat.
00:09:17All right?
00:09:18And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:09:19Won't you, son?
00:09:20So, Amelia, what's wrong?
00:09:21I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out.
00:09:22I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:09:23I'm going to be leaving.
00:09:24No, no, no, please.
00:09:25I apologize.
00:09:26My son, he's immature.
00:09:27All right?
00:09:28And that's why I invited you.
00:09:29Poor Florida.
00:09:30Please.
00:09:31All right?
00:09:32Just have a seat.
00:09:33All right?
00:09:34And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:09:37Won't you, son?
00:09:40All you need is money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:09:43Cancer.
00:09:44And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:09:51Make my own money, Dad.
00:09:54Okay.
00:09:55I want the business.
00:09:57I think we can make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:10:04What kind of deal?
00:10:06Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:10:09No.
00:10:10You two just have to get married.
00:10:12That's all.
00:10:13What?
00:10:14What?
00:10:15Romulus, what are you saying?
00:10:17I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:10:20Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:10:23Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:10:26Well, that's a little bit.
00:10:28Look, you have to grow up before you can run out business.
00:10:31And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:10:34We're not even a match.
00:10:35We hate each other.
00:10:36At least I do.
00:10:37Obviously.
00:10:38See?
00:10:39There's something uncommon already.
00:10:41Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:10:45Oh, yeah.
00:10:46We were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:10:49She sure drove me crazy when we first met.
00:10:52I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:10:56But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:11:00You two have chemistry.
00:11:02Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:11:04As if.
00:11:05Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:11:08I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:11:10Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:11:13Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:11:22What's it gonna be?
00:11:25Fine.
00:11:26I'll do it.
00:11:27For Betsy.
00:11:28Well, Angelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:11:29If you're not going to agree to marry her, then you're going to lose the business.
00:11:46And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:11:50What the hell, Dad?
00:11:52Fuck it.
00:11:55Fine.
00:11:56I'll do it.
00:11:57Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:12:00The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:12:03And, son, we are going to need some champagne.
00:12:07I ran my money.
00:12:08Try and make yourself look decent, Alan.
00:12:13You will be engaged for a period of 30 days.
00:12:16Followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:12:19And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:12:22I hope the Hollywood Bowl's not booked.
00:12:25Anyway, you must move in together immediately to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:12:31Look, there's nothing wrong with an unarranged marriage.
00:12:34But, well, it can't do any good if word got out to the public, right?
00:12:38That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:12:40Are we agreed?
00:12:42Sure.
00:12:43All right.
00:12:44Sign here.
00:12:45Salute to the new couple.
00:12:49Ooh.
00:13:04Salute to the new couple.
00:13:06To the new couple
00:13:16So your place or mine I'm this thing at a doghouse fine, then we'll stay at yours
00:13:32So this is Michelangelo's place
00:13:36It's like a museum in here
00:13:38A Michelangelo museum
00:13:54Whoa, what is this?
00:13:56Put it in the trash
00:13:58This isn't trash. These are my sisters. She's an artist
00:14:01So put them in your room. I said you could live here not decorate
00:14:05Oh, I'm sorry. Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:14:09That's man thong. It's trademarked
00:14:15Look, I gotta go meet somebody
00:14:17If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace
00:14:20It's an electric
00:14:26Oh, by the way
00:14:28This is gonna work
00:14:30You might want to start wearing that
00:14:32I'll start wearing that
00:14:34Gee, thanks
00:14:36Welcome
00:14:38You're getting married?
00:14:44Shh, Betsy
00:14:45Don't tell the whole world
00:14:46I'm sorry, Amelia
00:14:48It's just...
00:14:50It's not like you
00:14:52You're saying we're...
00:14:54Reserved
00:14:55Safe
00:14:56Like I always taught you
00:14:58Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer
00:15:04And besides, Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments
00:15:08So, I'm okay with the quick proposal
00:15:10Michelangelo
00:15:12The Ninja Turtle
00:15:14No
00:15:16Michelangelo...
00:15:18Dino Valeno? Maybe you've...
00:15:20Heard of him?
00:15:21Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:15:23Shhh
00:15:24What do I mean?
00:15:26Like start a hundred cancel Bravo shows?
00:15:30How did you even meet?
00:15:32His dad is one of my clients
00:15:34It's...been a whirlwind of a romance
00:15:39He's so...toxic
00:15:43Speak of the devil
00:15:46Oh, yeah
00:15:48You know, that's probably an old issue
00:15:51This is a doctor's office
00:15:53Amelia
00:15:56Betsy Carlyle?
00:15:59Doctor's ready
00:16:01We'll talk about this later
00:16:03We'll talk about this later
00:16:26Ready to get wet, baby?
00:16:28We're already wet
00:16:33Who cares?
00:16:34I
00:16:45Where did that come from?
00:16:47Nice place.
00:17:13I love the artwork.
00:17:15Thanks.
00:17:15Finally.
00:17:17A little with good taste.
00:17:20Oh, I'm good.
00:17:22You had plenty at dinner.
00:17:24More for me.
00:17:28You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bed.
00:17:33Oh, okay.
00:17:44Who are you?
00:17:45Who are you?
00:17:48Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:17:52Amelia.
00:17:54Whatever.
00:17:55Can you guys just keep it down?
00:17:57I have work tomorrow morning.
00:17:59This is my house?
00:18:01We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:18:04Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:18:06You've got to be kidding me.
00:18:09What's wrong, dog walker?
00:18:11He's jealous.
00:18:13Jealous?
00:18:13I'm not jealous!
00:18:17Sweet dreams!
00:18:18I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:18:27How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:18:30Even if he is kind of hot.
00:18:32See you later.
00:18:51And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:18:54Sorry.
00:18:56I had one too many to drink it.
00:18:58It won't happen again.
00:18:58You better not.
00:19:11How's the hangover, roomie?
00:19:13Not now.
00:19:15My head's killing me.
00:19:16We need to talk about last night.
00:19:17No.
00:19:18What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:19:22I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:19:24Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:19:26But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:19:29And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:19:32Fine.
00:19:33I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:19:34Just give me my phone.
00:19:35My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:19:39And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:19:43Then neither of us get what we want.
00:19:45Yeah, no shit.
00:19:46I'm serious.
00:19:48Don't screw this up.
00:19:50I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:19:54I know what I'm doing.
00:19:55Dog walker.
00:19:56And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:19:59Whenever I want.
00:20:00Wherever I want.
00:20:02Fine.
00:20:03Do whatever you want.
00:20:06I'm sorry.
00:20:07It's a bit harsh.
00:20:08I'm just really...
00:20:10hungover.
00:20:14That could have gone better.
00:20:15That's all right.
00:20:20Hey, baby.
00:20:22You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:20:25You're rich now.
00:20:26I know.
00:20:27I like it.
00:20:28Ah, it's good to hear.
00:20:30You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:20:34Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:20:38Oh, fine.
00:20:39Yeah.
00:20:40We're still getting to know each other.
00:20:42All right.
00:20:43Well, give him time, all right?
00:20:44Oh, and listen.
00:20:46He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:20:49Look, I...
00:20:49I promise.
00:20:50I wouldn't be so sure.
00:20:52Yeah.
00:20:53You're right.
00:20:54Well, we'll see you later.
00:20:56Yeah.
00:20:56All right.
00:20:57Come on, Gucci.
00:20:58Come on.
00:20:59Bye, Gucci.
00:21:03Hey, Amelia.
00:21:04Hey, Jake.
00:21:06Gucci, no.
00:21:07Royce.
00:21:10Say bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:21:14It's to see you up close for once.
00:21:16Yeah.
00:21:17Same here.
00:21:24Sorry.
00:21:25Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:21:28This whole family, actually.
00:21:31All these rich people are nuts.
00:21:33They should make a reality show.
00:21:34Little dog owners in Beverly Hills.
00:21:39Do you want to walk together?
00:21:41Let these two get to know each other?
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:44I'd like that.
00:21:45So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:21:52A couple months.
00:21:53I like it.
00:21:55I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:21:57Barista.
00:21:58Uber driver.
00:22:00Delivery guy.
00:22:02Movie extra.
00:22:03You were in a movie.
00:22:05Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:22:06I was trying to impress you.
00:22:08How about you?
00:22:10How long have you been doing this?
00:22:12I don't know.
00:22:12My whole life, I guess.
00:22:14It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:22:18I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:22:21I guess you really like dogs.
00:22:23Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:22:29If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:22:32My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:22:35Do you want to go?
00:22:35Well, I have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:22:41You did?
00:22:43Yeah.
00:22:45I still do.
00:22:46He's cute.
00:22:50I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:22:54Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:23:00I'd love to go to the concert.
00:23:02Hell yeah.
00:23:03I mean, uh, regular.
00:23:06Yeah.
00:23:09I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:23:13I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:23:17Hey, what's your ring?
00:23:18Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:23:25Looks pretty big.
00:23:27It was a big school.
00:23:29Public schools.
00:23:30Am I right?
00:23:35I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:23:39Me?
00:23:40Engaged?
00:23:41No.
00:23:42Are you kidding?
00:23:42I'm 24.
00:23:44I'm practically still a baby.
00:23:45I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:23:49Nope.
00:23:50Single and ready to mingle.
00:23:52Okay.
00:23:56Royce pooped.
00:23:58I should pick it up.
00:23:59Where?
00:23:59I don't see it.
00:24:00Just over there.
00:24:08Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:24:10Of course.
00:24:11It's an office.
00:24:12You want to be CEO, you got to look the pie.
00:24:15You mean, like, you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:24:20Very funny.
00:24:21You know I'm retiring next year.
00:24:22Yes, I know.
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:23That means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:24:26So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:24:30Can I get to Starbucks first?
00:24:31Fuck no.
00:24:33Come on, Dad.
00:24:43Wow!
00:24:43Oh my goodness.
00:24:48Are you okay?
00:24:49Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:24:56You're engaged, remember?
00:24:57And this is our new palette.
00:25:02It's Matt's collection.
00:25:04He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:25:08But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:25:13What, Dad?
00:25:25It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:25:26Look at you.
00:25:27You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:25:31Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:25:33Hard work does pay off.
00:25:35Let me just look at Amelia.
00:25:37What about her?
00:25:38She comes from nothing, son.
00:25:40Nobody taught her how to run a business, but she just worked hard.
00:25:43And now, well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:25:47I guess that's impressive.
00:25:49Yeah, see.
00:25:50See, it is.
00:25:51I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:25:53I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:26:02Break's over.
00:26:18Well, not too bad, huh?
00:26:19One day down.
00:26:2140 more years to go.
00:26:23Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work,
00:26:31raise you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:26:38You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:26:47Tonight?
00:26:48Shit.
00:26:49When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:26:50I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:26:52The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:26:54Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:26:56Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdea family.
00:27:02Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:27:04I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:27:07What's the matter?
00:27:09You're getting along, aren't you?
00:27:10Yeah, yeah, we're just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:27:15All right, so it's all settled.
00:27:16I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight in the limo and don't be late.
00:27:20Why, Dad?
00:27:35So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:27:40Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:27:45And?
00:27:47And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:27:50But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:27:56You better not let that hair down.
00:27:58Sorry, just an expression.
00:27:59How's it going in there?
00:28:08I'm coming out.
00:28:18That bad?
00:28:21I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:28:26Buy that dress.
00:28:27ASAP.
00:28:29Leave me alone, party boy.
00:28:34I've got my own function tonight.
00:28:35ASAP.
00:28:59What are you looking at?
00:29:11You're spilling all over yourself.
00:29:13Thanks.
00:29:13Um, I...
00:29:16Did you forget my name?
00:29:18No, there's just...
00:29:20Uh, something different.
00:29:22Did you change your hair?
00:29:24Why do you care?
00:29:25The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:29:27I'm going out.
00:29:27I just forgot my charger.
00:29:29Awesome.
00:29:30Thanks.
00:29:33I'm taking this.
00:29:35Wait.
00:29:35I've been calling you.
00:29:36We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:29:37I told you.
00:29:38I'm busy.
00:29:39Hold on.
00:29:43Amelia!
00:29:51All right.
00:29:52Hey.
00:29:52Look who's right on time.
00:29:54Nice.
00:29:55Where's Amelia?
00:29:56She's sick.
00:29:59She can't make it.
00:30:01Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:30:02No.
00:30:02If your fiance's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:30:05Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:30:07Give her some nice soup.
00:30:10All right.
00:30:10I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:30:12Telling me that I hope she feels better soon.
00:30:14Poor thing.
00:30:15Okay, Dad.
00:30:18See you in the office.
00:30:24Stupid dog walker?
00:30:26Tricking me with her makeover.
00:30:27I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:30:36Hey.
00:30:38It's Mike Lennon with Dean Levino.
00:30:39You still track people?
00:30:45Wow.
00:30:56Amelia.
00:30:57Hi.
00:30:59You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:31:04Sorry.
00:31:05I don't come to concerts often.
00:31:06I kind of panicked.
00:31:08No worries.
00:31:08I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:31:12But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:31:15Talk to the bartender.
00:31:16Wow.
00:31:17The IP treatment.
00:31:19You look like me.
00:31:20Thanks, Tim.
00:31:23Hey.
00:31:24Loving boy.
00:31:25We're on.
00:31:27Gotta go.
00:31:28Find me in the green room after.
00:31:31Hope you liked it.
00:31:32Break a leg.
00:31:33Loving boy.
00:31:45Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:32:05Good.
00:32:06Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:32:07Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:32:10One more, please.
00:32:11But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:32:24Jake, you guys are great.
00:32:27You really think so?
00:32:30I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:32:32The who?
00:32:32You don't know the strokes.
00:32:38Are they older?
00:32:39I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:32:43It's alright.
00:32:44Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:32:47You want some of them to drink?
00:32:48Yeah.
00:32:50So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:32:59Since I was 13.
00:33:01Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:33:05going someplace.
00:33:06That's awesome.
00:33:08And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:33:13You're going to quit dog walking?
00:33:15I thought you liked it.
00:33:16I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:33:21I don't even like dogs that much.
00:33:23I'm more of a cat person.
00:33:25A cat person?
00:33:29Who doesn't like dogs?
00:33:31Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:33:33I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:33:36I just want to relax.
00:33:38Have a good time.
00:33:40I'm beautiful, you know that?
00:33:41I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:33:46Now I'm not sure.
00:33:47We have nothing in common.
00:33:49Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:33:54The heck.
00:33:55I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:33:57Michelangelo had his fun.
00:33:58Now I can have mine.
00:33:59Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:34:16What's going on?
00:34:18That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo Baby underwear model.
00:34:22He's not.
00:34:23You coming with me, dog walker?
00:34:25Don't make me get the leash.
00:34:26What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:34:28Back off, dude.
00:34:30Back off.
00:34:31Grubby little hipster.
00:34:32She's my fiancée.
00:34:34So that was an engagement ring?
00:34:36Jake, I can explain.
00:34:39Let's go.
00:34:41I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:34:43I'm not, Jake.
00:34:49This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking Silver Lake.
00:34:55And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:34:58I can't believe you did that.
00:35:03After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:35:05Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:35:08Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:35:11I'm not following you around.
00:35:13You know what?
00:35:13I get it.
00:35:14You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:35:17Oh, me jealous?
00:35:20Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:35:22Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:35:25I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:35:27I have a name.
00:35:29Wait, what are you doing?
00:35:31That is an original.
00:35:32I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:35:33Oh, fine.
00:35:36I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:35:39I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:35:42You're treating me like shit.
00:35:44That's from the Renaissance.
00:35:46You're history's worst nightmare.
00:35:47I tried to make this work with you.
00:35:49We signed a contract.
00:35:50For an arranged marriage.
00:35:52Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:35:55You are such a simpleton.
00:35:57Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:36:01Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:36:04I tried to get along with you.
00:36:05You brought this on to yourself.
00:36:06I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:36:08Right back at you.
00:36:10I fucking hate you.
00:36:12I fucking hate you more.
00:36:27I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:36:48You want to see?
00:36:52Where am I?
00:37:16Who's spooning me?
00:37:19Is that Jake?
00:37:21How drunk was I?
00:37:28Michelangelo?
00:37:29Dog Walker.
00:37:31Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:37:36Must have been all those free beers.
00:37:39We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:37:42We had too many drinks, but just forget it ever happened.
00:37:45If that's what you want.
00:37:47Definitely.
00:37:48Definitely. Um, I have to go to work.
00:37:54I should get up too.
00:37:57Oh, my head.
00:37:59There's Pedialy in the fridge.
00:38:01Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:38:03Of course.
00:38:04My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:38:08Well, you look great.
00:38:11Thanks.
00:38:12I don't feel great.
00:38:14The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:38:18But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:38:22What's going on?
00:38:26So...
00:38:27Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:38:29Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:38:31For the first time?
00:38:33Yeah.
00:38:34We're taking it slow.
00:38:37Michelangelo.
00:38:38The male gigolo.
00:38:39Is taking it slow.
00:38:43Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:38:46And...
00:38:47How was it?
00:38:50Well...
00:38:50Really bad.
00:38:51Right?
00:38:52I knew it.
00:38:53Actually...
00:38:54It was the best sex I ever had.
00:38:58Well, that explains the glow.
00:39:02I am happy for you, sis.
00:39:05Physical chemistry is important.
00:39:07That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:39:10I don't get it.
00:39:11He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:39:15I feel like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again, and...
00:39:20You get the picture.
00:39:23Hey.
00:39:26Opposites attract.
00:39:27I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:39:31Because you're so different.
00:39:34Something like that.
00:39:42Here it comes.
00:39:43Right on the schedule.
00:39:45The dog walker's in love with me.
00:39:47I'll have to let her down easy.
00:39:49Weird.
00:39:50I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:40:02What was that about?
00:40:04Must be the hangover.
00:40:05Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:40:15Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:40:17Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:40:39And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:40:42I don't know.
00:40:43I don't know.
00:40:44Why can't I do that?
00:40:44I'm happy to meet you.
00:40:44Hey.
00:41:04Hi.
00:41:07We should talk about Leslie.
00:41:12I'm not very good with words.
00:41:14Me neither.
00:41:15But last night, I...
00:41:16You don't have to say anything.
00:41:18We both know it was a mistake.
00:41:20And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:41:23Like nothing ever happened.
00:41:24I don't think you understand it.
00:41:25You just listen to me for a second.
00:41:27Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:41:30I'm a big girl.
00:41:30I've had a one-night stand before.
00:41:33I've never been with someone like you before.
00:41:35Okay, I get it.
00:41:37I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:41:42You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:41:46I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:41:48I mean...
00:41:49Frankly, so would I.
00:41:50I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:41:51You don't understand.
00:41:52Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:41:55I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:41:59Wait.
00:42:00Did you just call me Amelia?
00:42:05What happened to Dog Walker?
00:42:08I have a confession to make.
00:42:11Last night...
00:42:12I don't know how.
00:42:14I don't know why.
00:42:17That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:42:21Really?
00:42:21Do I look like I'm lying?
00:42:24I'm not a good actor.
00:42:26I could even do reality TV.
00:42:29But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:42:33Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:42:37You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:42:40Amelia.
00:42:42Please.
00:42:44I know you felt it too.
00:42:45Amelia, please.
00:42:53Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:42:56I felt it too.
00:43:02So why are we fighting it?
00:43:04I've been thinking about you all day.
00:43:07Me too.
00:43:08Me too.
00:43:08Me too.
00:43:15So I set the kitchen on fire.
00:43:43How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:43:48It's not my fault.
00:43:49They should change his name.
00:43:52No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:43:56If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:43:58The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat.
00:44:01You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:44:13Thanks?
00:44:15You know, we could actually try this.
00:44:19Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:44:22I'm serious.
00:44:24The wedding's coming up.
00:44:27We could give it a shot.
00:44:28You mean like you and me, together together.
00:44:32Why not?
00:44:34Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:44:48Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:44:55Oh, hey, Royce.
00:44:58Jake?
00:44:59How's it going?
00:45:01Good.
00:45:02Yeah.
00:45:03Look, the other night was kind of...
00:45:05Crazy.
00:45:06I know.
00:45:07I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:45:10We were kind of in a fight.
00:45:13I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:45:15Is he always like that?
00:45:17So aggressive and controlling?
00:45:19I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:45:22He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:45:24Well, I am his woman.
00:45:27He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:45:30And I don't blame him.
00:45:32Oh, my God.
00:45:32Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:45:36I didn't mean to pry.
00:45:38I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:45:41I'm here if you need to talk.
00:45:43Thanks, Jake.
00:45:45But I'm engaged.
00:45:47Remember?
00:45:48And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:45:51We had a connection.
00:45:53You're a cat person.
00:45:55It never would have worked.
00:45:58Come on, Gucci.
00:45:59Let's go.
00:46:03Cats are awesome.
00:46:04That was a great presentation.
00:46:10The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:46:13Do you think so?
00:46:13Ooh.
00:46:15Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:46:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:46:19Now, listen.
00:46:20I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:46:22You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:46:25Gucci?
00:46:25Sure.
00:46:26But, I mean, your dog's more Amelia specialty.
00:46:29Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:46:31You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:46:34At the dog park?
00:46:35Mm-hmm.
00:46:36I just texted her.
00:46:37It's all set.
00:46:39Now, go get a lover boy.
00:46:52So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:46:56You've never played fetch before?
00:46:59It's my dad's dog.
00:47:01Not mine.
00:47:03Let me try.
00:47:04That's okay.
00:47:05I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:47:12Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:47:15No.
00:47:16I like my work.
00:47:18What's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:47:22You're right.
00:47:24I should work less.
00:47:26If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:47:34Fetch Gucci.
00:47:34I've got a big surprise.
00:47:41A surprise?
00:47:43Just wait and see.
00:47:44I'll have a good night.
00:47:53Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino.
00:47:54I'll have a good night.
00:47:55I'll have a good night.
00:48:00What's that?
00:48:01Special delivery from Masterione's Italian Deli.
00:48:04But Gucci, what's your favorite prosciutto?
00:48:12You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:48:14I thought you were off the clock today, besides a special occasion.
00:48:22I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:48:26I'm kidding, this is for us, why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:48:31What else is in the bag?
00:48:33Just some imported Italian ingredients, so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:48:38You can cook?
00:48:43That was so good.
00:48:53I feel like I just went to Italy, even though I've never been.
00:48:57How did you do this?
00:48:59I can't cook at all.
00:49:01Cooking Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:49:03Did you learn in culinary school?
00:49:05No.
00:49:06My mom taught me.
00:49:08Tell me about her.
00:49:10I never told a girl about my mom.
00:49:13Sorry, I don't mean to pray.
00:49:16She passed away when I was 11.
00:49:20Breast cancer.
00:49:22But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:49:24She grew up in a little village in Tuscany and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:49:31We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:49:37I still have all of her recipes here.
00:49:40Handwritten in Italian.
00:49:41That's really special.
00:49:44I miss her.
00:49:46I miss her.
00:49:47I miss her.
00:49:48This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:49:53It's not corny.
00:49:56But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:49:58Just don't tell TMZ.
00:50:01What about your parents?
00:50:03My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:50:07It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:50:10I'm sorry.
00:50:11I just really hope these treatments work.
00:50:14I don't want to lose her too.
00:50:18I'm sorry.
00:50:20Your story made me emotional.
00:50:22I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:50:24I'll help you.
00:50:25No.
00:50:26No, it's fine.
00:50:27I like doing the dishes.
00:50:28It relaxes me.
00:50:29Good.
00:50:30Because I hate them.
00:50:32Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:50:38Is it just the wine?
00:50:40Or am I really falling for him?
00:50:42Her.
00:50:45You don't want espresso.
00:50:55Hey.
00:50:56Hey.
00:50:57Do you want an espresso?
00:50:59I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:51:02Oh, thank you.
00:51:03You need to have a morning meeting.
00:51:04I'm kind of in a rush.
00:51:05Okay.
00:51:06Well, don't forget Gucci.
00:51:07How could I?
00:51:10Ready, bro?
00:51:11Well, let me fix your tie.
00:51:15What do you know about ties?
00:51:16You wear t-shirts to work.
00:51:17And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:51:21Touché.
00:51:23There you go.
00:51:24Okay, bye.
00:51:26Bye.
00:51:29Love you.
00:51:30Love you too.
00:51:31Sorry.
00:51:32Reflex.
00:51:33I didn't mean to say that.
00:51:34Me neither.
00:51:35Too soon.
00:51:36Talk about it later?
00:51:37Yeah.
00:51:38Okay.
00:51:39Okay.
00:51:40Could that have been any more awkward?
00:51:41And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:51:43Look who's here.
00:51:44Hey, hey, hey.
00:51:45My little guy.
00:51:46Hey, little Gucci.
00:51:47Look at this right here.
00:51:48Huh?
00:51:49It's dry.
00:51:50It's dry.
00:51:52I don't know.
00:51:53It's dry.
00:51:54This is dry.
00:51:55This is dry.
00:51:56Oh, I'm not sure.
00:51:57It's dry.
00:51:58It's dry.
00:51:59It's dry.
00:52:00Oh, it's dry.
00:52:01What's the wet.
00:52:02It's dry.
00:52:03It's dry.
00:52:04It's dry.
00:52:05It's dry.
00:52:06It's dry.
00:52:07All right.
00:52:08It's dry.
00:52:09It's dry.
00:52:10It's dry.
00:52:11try oh yeah now here's uh here's mine right just like that huh yeah even got one for big brother
00:52:21right there come to papa yes my boy all right all right so we got to talk about this uh this
00:52:30wedding right this is two weeks off hollywood bowl they're waiting for an answer and i bumped into
00:52:36chris martin on the plane he says the band is free you like cold play right dad we can't have the
00:52:44wedding at the hollywood well all right then we'll book the magic castle how about that not too big
00:52:51plenty room for cold play huh let's just pump the brakes we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:52:58what something wrong with really no everything's great it's better than great honestly
00:53:06but we cannot have a big flashy wedding that's our thing it's not amelia's thing
00:53:13i think it'd make her uncomfortable wow i never thought of that you know you have a very good point
00:53:21there i'm very impressed you've never acted like this with any other woman i can't say i've ever
00:53:30felt like this with another girl sounds like you might be falling in love love yeah i don't know
00:53:43all right all right change the deal gonna cancel the hollywood bowl all right and then we'll have a nice
00:53:49small intimate affair a wedding with cold play no cold play dad no cold play
00:54:03so it's about my cancer treatment it's not working i know it i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:54:12and i'm cured what you're cured oh congratulations thank you i wasn't expecting it i didn't think i
00:54:24would be cured in only two sessions it only took two sessions i almost had enough in my savings to cover
00:54:32that maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money what's wrong sis we should be celebrating i brought
00:54:40prosecco no yeah no i'm good yeah amelia i'm your sister you can tell me anything is it michelangelo
00:54:53is everything okay if that punk pretty boy hurts you i will take that man thong and give him a wedgie
00:54:59so far up his butt that it will cut him in two it's not michelangelo betsy it's me i have to tell you
00:55:10something i cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage what is this game of thrones
00:55:21it's the only way that i could pay for your treatments and you know that i would do anything for you
00:55:26actually he's not that bad i kind of like him yeah babe that's called stockholm syndrome
00:55:37we need to get you out of there betsy i have real feelings for him but what about the tabloid stories
00:55:48you heard what he did to that floozy in disney world they banned him for life you'll never go to epcot
00:55:56he's not actually like the stories or at least not to me he's only acting like that to get into your
00:56:03pants amelia if you marry michelangelo he will make your life a living hell what if you meet him
00:56:13yeah yeah meet him maybe he'll change your mind maybe maybe you'll actually like him don't count on it
00:56:21please me just give him a chance fine yes only one yes
00:56:32you won't regret it i'm gonna go get the prosecco
00:56:34you better bring the whole bottle thank you for making dinner of course i'm glad she's cancer
00:56:45free we need to celebrate michelangelo you know that betsy is the most important person in the world
00:56:54to me right you mean besides me i'm serious it's really important to me that you two get along
00:56:59have a glass of wine tonight's gonna be great
00:57:13it's enormous why would anybody need so much room it's nice to see you too sis
00:57:24nice to finally meet you let's see
00:57:31so this is the infamous uh michelangelo
00:57:40how about we start off with a glass of champagne 96 domperion amelia said that's the year that you
00:57:44were born yeah sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff it's worth more than my car why would anybody spend
00:57:52that much on that much on a drink
00:57:558.99 at ralph's it's delicious this was made in france sorry can't touch that stuff so who wants a drink
00:58:22you've hardly touched your food it's a little too rich for me mine tastes great
00:58:38so michelangelo i have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up
00:58:44you don't mind do you fire away so i know you two have been having your fun um but what's this
00:58:56relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off i don't think it's going to
00:59:04that's cute and all but what about a career are you gonna support her or kids what's your stance on
00:59:10that or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious let's
00:59:15see look i know i have a past but i'm committed to it we haven't talked about kids but i'm open to
00:59:25anything see michelangelo that's my point you two are getting married and you barely know each other
00:59:31we know though easy betsy i just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
00:59:39and if you really cared about amelia you would give her the time and what makes you such an expert
00:59:45i don't see a ring on your finger michelangelo you probably picked them apart the way you're doing
00:59:50me right now it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met him she gets it from you
00:59:55are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia you started it
00:59:58why don't we all just calm down betsy's just looking out for my best interests no she's alone
01:00:10and miserable and trying to drag you down with her that's not fair michelangelo she's not been
01:00:14fair to me since she walked through the door you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills and
01:00:18you're a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy you know what you can't talk
01:00:23to betsy like that that's my sister she just survived cancer that doesn't give her a right
01:00:30to insult me inside my own house this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants not to me
01:00:36you know maybe she should be concerned i don't like this side of you see i told you you should have
01:00:40spent more time getting to know each other but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that you told
01:00:45her she's my sister i don't care that violates our agreement oh is that all i am to you a contractual
01:00:52agreement some kind of obligation it's not what i meant it came out wrong amelia i love you
01:00:59you love me don't listen to him he doesn't even know what that means shut the up
01:01:05you know what maybe she was right i shouldn't have signed that contract it's over
01:01:14we need to get out of here i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix to know what
01:01:19happens when you tell rich people secrets amelia i know this is hard to hear but you did the right
01:01:31thing you do so much better than him yeah but he isn't a monster i shouldn't have said that we can
01:01:40talk about it on the road get packing and if we leave now we can get to mexico by dawn lay low for a bit
01:01:47mexico or canada whatever it's that or stay here and get sued by the dino lovinos or worse
01:01:56i don't think romulus and michelangelo would sue us i mean i only told you about the contract it's not
01:02:02like i told the media you don't know that we're liabilities loose ends you should listen to more true kind
01:02:11podcast get rid of that thing they could be tracking us right now yeah you know michelangelo did manage
01:02:22to follow me to the echoplex the other day see he could have a sniper on us
01:02:28it's romulus hey romulus what what do you mean gucci's missing
01:02:49you came against my better judgment i'm not happy you've been blowing me off i've just been busy but
01:02:59it's over with now you should punish me for straying you make me sick i make me sick
01:03:11nice underwear it's a great craftsmanship
01:03:24okay let's get this over with
01:03:34is that all you have to say
01:03:35do you even realize how hot i am i'm sorry chantel i thought i wanted this
01:03:46but i don't
01:03:47i'm not the stud that i used to be
01:03:53amelia broke up with me
01:03:59it feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:04:05never in a million years did i think i'd fall for dog walker but here i am
01:04:08fucking devastated
01:04:11and all her wishes i could take back how i acted
01:04:13i just wanted to come back to me
01:04:26amelia hi dad
01:04:30gucci's gone i'll be right there
01:04:33romulus
01:04:45well i i only had him off the leash for a second you know we're practically in the house and then all of
01:04:50a sudden he just shot off like a rocket i've been calling him all night but he won't come back
01:04:55well we can help you find him yeah right oh good thanks good gucci this better not be a trap just come on
01:05:11gucci gucci gucci
01:05:13hey hey hey where's becalangelo huh i thought you were both together why isn't he here with you
01:05:18oh um he's sorry i'm late dad
01:05:21oh where were you i had to stop for late night delivery at mastriani's it's gucci's favorite
01:05:27prosciutto if this doesn't ring out of hiding nothing will smart move dude here ladies take a piece of
01:05:35this prosciutto yeah that's it
01:05:41amelia
01:05:49um
01:06:03which is
01:06:05uh
01:06:07adventure keep looking he'll turn up in a few minutes see they're not gonna kill us i do have
01:06:14to admit though i didn't expect to see this side of him he's really there for his dad
01:06:21his dad's dog so you approve now they didn't say that
01:06:26okay okay i'm a little closer to approving
01:06:48i might have possibly misjudged you a little it's okay most of what the tabloids publish is true
01:07:07they just leave out part of the story amelia can we talk
01:07:13please
01:07:16amelia can we talk please okay
01:07:25amelia i'm sorry about earlier tonight i shouldn't have attacked your sister
01:07:41and i shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract
01:07:44i hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement
01:07:51thanks for saying that i needed to hear that and i'm sorry for calling you a monster
01:08:00you're not one i'm still learning new things about you most of them are good
01:08:09and i'm happy we signed the contract
01:08:12i'm not
01:08:14you're not
01:08:17you're not what do you mean
01:08:19amelia this might sound crazy but
01:08:23i mean
01:08:24i meant it when i said that i love you
01:08:26i don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together
01:08:32i want to know that i want to know that i want to know that i want to know that our love is real
01:08:38dad what is it son
01:08:40i want to know that i want to know that our love is real
01:08:49hateful
01:08:49and
01:08:50Not because of some legal obligation, but because she wants to.
01:09:02Consider our contract null and void.
01:09:11Amelia, what will it be?
01:09:16Will you marry me?
01:09:19Yes, I'll marry you.
01:09:39You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:09:42And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:09:45Look at me. I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:09:51All right, all right, you two. That's enough, all right?
01:09:55We spent this whole night together.
01:09:57Come over to my place, all right?
01:09:59We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style.
01:10:02Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:10:05I think I can get used to it.
01:10:07And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:10:10I want to hear from everybody involved, especially Coldplay.
01:10:14We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:10:17It was worth a try.
01:10:19And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:10:43Michelangela?
01:10:45Amelia, even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:10:55I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time.
01:11:00And not just about dogs.
01:11:04I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:11:09I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:11:18And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:11:36Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:11:41I love you so much.
01:11:43I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model.
01:11:53But here we are.
01:11:55Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:12:00Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:12:03And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime.
01:12:12In a good way.
01:12:14I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:12:16Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:12:18I love you.
01:12:19With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:12:27You may kiss your bride.
01:12:32I'm Betsy.
01:12:33Amelia's sister.
01:12:42I'm Jake.
01:12:46Another dog walker.
01:12:47It's crazy here, given my sister.
01:12:48But I've always been more of a cat person.
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