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Kevin Cao
  • 2 days ago
joe

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Transcript
00:00Last time on TOTAL, drama, action!
00:04Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise, I mean, antagonize them.
00:09Cast were forced to use their creative sides while showing off their backsides,
00:12as they made superhero costumes out of spandex, and some other junk.
00:17Ha ha ha ha, nice tights!
00:19Of course, they were foiled by the diabolical Pythonicus,
00:22super evil alter ego of the villainous Shep.
00:25In a fight against evil, the cast proved they could be heroes.
00:28And also, losers!
00:31In the end, the most diabolical of them all was Duncan and Courtney,
00:34who conspired to have Harold bowed off his luscious Lashana.
00:38Will Super Harold recover from betraying his homegirl?
00:41Will Duncan and Courtney ever hook up?
00:44Maybe you'll find out right now, maybe you won't,
00:46on another totally dramatic episode of TOTAL DRAMA ACTION!
00:51The moment that I'm doing fine, you guys are on my mind.
01:01They asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see.
01:05I wanna be famous!
01:09I wanna live close to the sun,
01:12I'll pack your bags cause I've already won.
01:14Everything to prove nothing in my way,
01:15I'll get there one day,
01:17Cause I wanna be famous!
01:22Na, na, na, na-na-na, na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na!
01:26No, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be famous No, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be famous
01:35Ten more seconds, Biggest Burrito wins
01:48Think I'd make a good reality show host?
01:50Excuse me, I'm strategizing
01:51If you'd strategize, maybe you could manage something more articulate
01:55Maybe you could blah, blah, blah, time's up, co-competitors
01:59Hey, Linz, what do you got?
02:00Look, but I'm our BFF, Burrito Friends Forever
02:03Did you belt your burrito?
02:05It's the custom friendship bracelet I made, to join our two burritos for Always Endeavor
02:10Weird, disturbing, but big, ish, it qualifies
02:13Geekwad, you managed to make yours any bigger?
02:15I give you the luscious Lashana
02:18Aww, that is so sweet
02:21Sweet, check out the guns on these beans
02:23Nothing
02:25You feel nothing?
02:27Not a tingle
02:28Not even an angle
02:29Man, this scratch snods has destroyed my looks and my life
02:33Why?
02:34Harold, your pathetic betrayal of puppy love makes me want to hurl
02:37But you did make the biggest burrito, so you win
02:40This isn't right, I demand a second neutral opinion
02:42Please, I'm not coming anywhere near the infected
02:45Who's infected? Is there a rash? I can't afford a rash
02:47You all have reality show-itis
02:49A disease which causes people to turn everyday tasks into crazy challenges
02:53Thus, losing focus on the real competition
02:55Which I refuse to do
02:57When my good looks went, so did my winning edge
02:59But Courtney's still managing to kick butt
03:01And she's not nearly as good looking as I am
03:03Okay, as I was
03:05You know, you're the only one taking the game seriously
03:09I just wish I knew how you did it all
03:11It's so inspirational
03:12Just being me, I'm glad to help
03:14You can help more if you tell me your secrets
03:16Like, how do you even get through life with all your deformities?
03:19My what? I don't have any deformities
03:21So, your answer is denial?
03:23Okay
03:24Hear ye, and rise, for Sir Chris
03:28Sir, someone needs an ego check
03:30Oh, that's a glass flipper
03:34Which means today's challenge is a fairy tale movie
03:37My favorite!
03:38Back, dude, if you ever steal my intro again
03:40I'll have to personally boot you off the show
03:43You can't boot back
03:44Oh, wait, he can
03:45Because it's a glass boot
03:47And the foot that fits
03:48Determines the princess for today's
03:50Fairy tale movie challenge
03:52The rest of you
03:53Compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess
03:56I want to see the princess
03:58I said the fair princess
04:00And what we think is fair
04:02Is that the candidates be the ladies who won last time
04:04Courtney and Lindsay
04:06They're totally typecasting me as an ugly stepsister
04:09But now that my braces are off
04:10I'm absolutely princess material
04:13Are you sure that's the right one?
04:16It's tiny, like a kid's boot
04:18Oh, oh, I'm a kid's size four
04:20What can I say?
04:21Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet
04:23Can I do this privately?
04:25It's just a foot
04:26I think we've all seen those before
04:28Get on with it, Lindsay
04:29Look it, boys
04:33We found Bigfoot
04:34I hear glass shoes have a lot of stretch
04:38Really?
04:39Um, no
04:40I feel like I'm trying to jam a T-Rex into a smart car
04:42And make him buckle up
04:44Well, if getting it on your big toe counted
04:46You'd have won
04:47I am so going to take this
04:50I don't know
04:51Doesn't look like it's gonna fit
04:52I hope that's safety glass
04:56Come on, come on, come on, come on
04:58Listen, Courtney
04:59We can go to a different selection method if
05:00No, I'm gonna
05:01Yes!
05:04Let's get this over with before she loses a foot
05:06And I lose another lawsuit
05:07Chef?
05:08I dubbed the princess court
05:10Eat my pixie dust, commoners!
05:14Oh!
05:15I have become the beast instead of the beauty
05:18A prince turned into a frog
05:20Did Courtney do that on purpose?
05:21No, no, she's not evil
05:22She's just feisty
05:23I like feisty
05:24I like it a lot
05:25It's story time with Uncle Chris
05:28Once upon a time
05:30Five brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower
05:35But it wasn't gonna be easy
05:37First, the knights had to get past my very good friend
05:40The terrible toothless troll
05:42And his bad break's bridge
05:44To get past the terrible toothless troll
05:47The knights had to wear disguises
05:49There was the frog prince
05:50And the ugly stepsister
05:52Sleeping beauty
05:53And one of her seven dwarfs
05:54And little red riding hood
05:57Can we at least make it red riding hoodlum?
05:59No dice, dude
06:00That's what it says in the script
06:01Good work, kid
06:02And so the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll
06:06But I can't see!
06:07Oh yeah, for this challenge, each knight is blind
06:09Nowhere in this story does it say
06:12The cowardly knights complained
06:14So get it together, Steppy
06:15And get crassing
06:16Could this be any suckier?
06:20Ow!
06:20Ow!
06:21Apparently it could be!
06:22Ow!
06:23Ow!
06:23Ow!
06:23Oh, also
06:24Those are wicked witch's apples
06:25So
06:26They're poisonous and rotten
06:27You might wanna watch
06:28See, Beth is just not fairytale heroine material
06:36Hey, how do you know if you have a concussion?
06:40Is seeing double a bad sign?
06:42Next, the eighth dwarf
06:44He grabbed a fistful of courage
06:46And headed across the bridge
06:47This is for you, Lashawna!
06:51Yours truly has developed some mad blind running skills
06:58What was that?
07:06They don't pay me enough for this
07:08Hey, sleeping Bigfoot
07:11Boats go under bridge is not over them
07:13Awesome!
07:20You're up, Froggy
07:21Then, it's Captain Hood
07:23At least my face will be protected from further indignity
07:25Ow!
07:28Tough start
07:29Go a little more to the right
07:30Sorry, man
07:32Hey, man, let me give you a hand
07:36There I was
07:40Down, dirty, and deafened
07:42And I thought, WWCD
07:44What would Courtney do?
07:46And then it came to me
07:47She'd use her head
07:48Justin, still got it
07:53Alright, then
07:53The final night attempting to enter fairytale land is
07:56Little Red Riding Hoodlum
07:57We're over this way
07:59Seeing, good
08:01Seeing Chef as a transgender troll
08:03Priceless
08:04Rapunzel, dude
08:05Let down your hair
08:06Hey!
08:12He can see
08:12How?
08:13With his x-ray vision?
08:15That'd be cool
08:16Woo-hoo!
08:19And so, the terrible toothless troll
08:21Knocked off two losers
08:22But
08:23Three semi-brave knights
08:24Made it to the other side
08:26And continued on their noble quest
08:28Whereupon I
08:29In my wisdom
08:30Inspired them with a vision
08:31Of Princess Courtney
08:33When I was a little girl
08:38I dream of my first kiss
08:40It would come from my perfect prince
08:43And in my dream
08:44It went like this
08:45She's the most beautiful thing
08:48I have ever seen
08:49Yeah
08:50I must have been so busy
08:51Seeing her as a master strategist
08:52That I didn't see her outer beauty
08:54Wow
08:55We'll be the best looking couple
08:56In the kingdom
08:57Pardon?
08:58I saw you cheat, Duncan
08:59You don't deserve to be her prince
09:01Who died and made you the decider
09:02About me and Courtney
09:03Guys, guys
09:04No need to fight
09:05At least not until after this break
09:07Will Duncan inflict more deformities on Justin?
09:10Or
09:10Will Justin's ripped physique
09:12Bring two tons of heart
09:13Down on Duncan's head?
09:14Find out
09:15When we come back
09:16My prince will be tall and handsome
09:20Can you take your pockets, sir?
09:26Two of gaming's greatest rival
09:27Are ready to face off in Canada
09:29Use your Wii balance board
09:30Or play with us with four friends
09:32In over 25 events
09:33Mario and Sonic
09:34At the Olympic Winter Games
09:35Available now
09:36Ready to eat for everyone
09:37Sonic
09:39White courtesy telephone
09:40My prince will be tall and handsome
09:46My prince will be tough as nails
09:50My prince will have lots of money
09:53My prince will tame wild whales
09:57Greeny is so lucky
09:59She gets to wear that sparkly head thingy
10:02If you smell burnt toast
10:03And everything looks like it's underwater
10:05Does that mean you have a concussion?
10:07When we kiss
10:09My prince will be you
10:14Warts
10:16Get it off
10:17Wasn't that song brilliant?
10:19It was so brilliant
10:20I know everyone wishes
10:21They could hear it over
10:22And over
10:23And over again
10:24And now they can
10:25Relive the magic of Courtney
10:27For only $12.99
10:28Call 555-SELL-OUT
10:30To get your authentic
10:31Princess Courtney CD
10:32Before everyone else
10:34Downloads it illegally
10:35I'll take one
10:36I'm gonna listen to this
10:37Beautiful love song
10:38And think of Lashana
10:39My prince will buy me lots of hot dogs
10:42My prince will love ponies too
10:45It's from Lashana
10:47Yo, Harold
10:48If you play that skinny rich girl song
10:50And think about me
10:51I'll have to kill you
10:53After risking my life for you
10:55I've realized how wrong I was
10:56With that deformity crack
10:58You're the most beautiful girl
10:59I've ever seen
11:00And the smartest
11:01What are the odds?
11:03Thank you, Sir Justin
11:04More like Sir Suckup
11:06You know, you could learn something
11:07From Justin here
11:08It's nice to get a compliment
11:09Once in a while
11:10Well, I'm waiting
11:11Butter me up, princess
11:13Look!
11:15It's the one horseman
11:16Of the apocalypse
11:17Did you see that?
11:18She winked her horse eyes at me
11:20I think you do have a concussion
11:22Are we supposed to catch him?
11:24No, it's a classic princess abduction
11:26As the villain makes
11:27A whirlwind getaway
11:27On a swift steed
11:28Guess old Betty here
11:31Didn't read the script
11:31Kick harder
11:32That did it
11:35So, that's how the three night dudes
11:37Lost the princess
11:38But fate, a.k.a. me
11:40Wasn't finished with them
11:41They followed the troll
11:42All the way to a fight to the death
11:45Because that's how I like
11:46My princess is saved
11:47Sir Justin
11:48I want you to know
11:49That I hope you rescue me
11:51Come on
11:51I was just kidding
11:52About the compliment
11:53You're cute, okay
11:54I like your face
11:55It's nice
11:56I won't disappoint you, princess
11:58I'm good luck
11:59I give you my favor
12:00To carry into battle
12:01Falling for Courtney
12:04Has been hard on the face
12:05I think we'll have a
12:06No-shoes policy
12:07Once we're dating
12:08Sir Justin, Sir Duncan
12:11And Sir Harold
12:12Reached the ivory tower
12:13In which the troll
12:14Had stuck the type A princess
12:16But there was only
12:17One way to rescue her
12:18One of the brave knights
12:19Had to slay the dragon
12:21Dragon
12:21I love a good dragon tale
12:24I can't wait to see a real dragon
12:26So scary
12:28We don't have a real dragon
12:29We're reusing the alien monster guy
12:31Let the dragon slaying begin
12:37Godspeed, brave knights
12:40Sir Harold
12:41Good luck, loser
12:45Sir Justin
12:46Dunk it
12:47Stealing another dude's air kiss
12:51Pathetic
12:52You're telling me
12:53Yeah?
12:53You'll like it even better
12:54When I get the real thing
12:56I'll save you, Courtney
12:57You princess-stealing slimeball
13:01You want Duncan to win?
13:07You're kidding, right?
13:08Then help me take him down
13:09And I'll let you win
13:10I don't care
13:11I just can't let him have Courtney
13:12Dork
13:15Nerdling
13:16Harold-type loser
13:17Well
13:18Get them both chasing you
13:20For a mathlete
13:21It was elementary
13:22Ye olde alien dragon
13:23Was six meters from Justin
13:25And three meters from Duncan
13:26They were running at approximately
13:28Twelve kilometers an hour
13:29Or
13:30Three point three meters
13:31Which made it a matter of timing
13:33And I've got mad crazy timing skills
13:35My granny's got more guts than you
13:38Men up and fight
13:40Justin
13:41Okay
13:42You're just gonna stop dead
13:44In three
13:44Two
13:45One
13:45Gnarly job, Sir J
13:52Now, if we can just find this animatronic beast's center of operation
13:55I'll claim my victory
13:56Sorry, Harold
13:58If Lashawna were the prize
13:59I'm sure you'd do the same thing
14:01Courtney
14:02Your prince is coming
14:04Some prince
14:05Want to rescue princess Courtney too?
14:08Now you can for only $79.95
14:10Order your very own princess Courtney limited edition glass boot doll
14:15Playing with the princess Courtney doll is more fun and less dangerous than playing with the real Courtney
14:19Guaranteed
14:20Princess
14:22Wait, wait, there's no kissing
14:25What?
14:26Yes
14:27It says here that prince Justin and princess Courtney must sword fight to determine the true winner
14:32Whichever one of us wins the sword fight gets immunity?
14:34You're almost too smart to be a princess
14:36But every fairy tale I've ever read ends with a kiss
14:39Well, Beth, this is a modern tale
14:41Gals have to fight for themselves
14:42If that's how it has to be
14:44No
14:45I am a noble gentleman
14:46A brave knight
14:47A handsome prince
14:48I would never hurt a lady
14:50Although a guy who's working with you is apparently fair game
14:53I said I was sorry, Harold
14:54I refuse to raise a sword to Courtney
14:56I give up any chance
14:57And immunity to spare her
14:59And now
15:00Sorry, Justin
15:03I just can't let immunity go
15:04You understand
15:05I forgive you, princess
15:07I'm okay
15:12Courtney wins immunity
15:14Again
15:15Yes
15:16Yes
15:16So, with immunity
15:30Courtney is the first to win a golden crisp
15:33I think she felt that
15:36Cool
15:37Get her elbow
15:38Before we continue the awards, though
15:40I have some news
15:41Courtney's lawyers called
15:42And demanded 80% of all the profits
15:43From the Princess Courtney merchandise
15:45So, not gonna happen
15:46So, we're renaming them
15:48After the only other brunette
15:49Left in the competition
15:50Beth
15:51Your very own Princess Beth doll
15:55And a contract stating
15:56You get 0% of the Princess Beth profits
15:58Along with the Gilded Chris Award
15:59The first to winLike
16:12We're
16:14We're
16:18We're
16:19We're
16:22We're
16:25We're
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