- 2 days ago
Oya Obinidodo on The Kami Grayson Show discussing her latest book, music, and how she escaped domestic violence three times.
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00:00well well well welcome to another episode of skst radio and you tuned in to the cami grayson show
00:17and this month is thanks for giving month and i have a brand new friend she goes by the name of
00:23oh yeah oh yeah say your last name oh benito though oh benito though it rolls off your tongue
00:30don't you oh yeah welcome to the show hi so oh yeah is like really shy she's a real shy person
00:39but let me tell you something don't let that shyness fool you this lady is like
00:43with dynamite stuff i mean that's that's the type of woman i'm sitting right next to
00:50she got it going on in a in a pair of neck bones how you say that
00:54oh yeah tell people who you are and what you do um well i'm a author i'm a writer i'm a singer and
01:04rapper as well i do music i'm a director of short films as well and uh i do a lot yeah you do yeah
01:11you do okay so let's start off let's start off with the directing part okay you do short films
01:18tell us a little bit about that well my first short film um i did a film called the darkest death
01:26and that was basically a film about a woman who was a um who was an escort she worked in an escort
01:33and there was someone stalking her and she didn't know who it was and uh and in the end she you know
01:40i don't want to spoil it but yeah she kind of went awkward and um and then i i recently did a short
01:47film this year called uh tent of terror and that's about a woman who is having uh auditory hallucinations
01:55and she doesn't really know what's going on she can't separate her dreams from her reality oh wow
02:00so she's this creative lady here she got all kinds of stuff going on okay and she well let's let's take
02:07it back she is a single mom with two children and um she is a business professional as you can see
02:17uh she's an author she's a writer she's uh uh she does short stories she does all kinds of stuff films
02:24and and and and you know now on top of all of this on top of all of this she's also experienced
02:31domestic violence all right and so uh we want to get into her story this is about her this is about
02:39her story and how she overcame pretty much the negative and turned it all positive and that's
02:47what i like about her i mean she has music out she's on her third or fourth album and i mean this
02:53lady's just i mean again that's my definition for her i mean she got it going on i'm telling you she is
03:00just someone you need to know and she needs to know you so let's take it from the beginning tell
03:06people about your childhood how did you get started in life here um well as a child i was raised in a
03:12single parent home um i had just my mother and i i the only child i never had any siblings growing up
03:20and when i was a child i was into a lot of different things i was into music uh i was into art i was into
03:27uh you know basically music and art and i was also i also played on the basketball team is the girls
03:34basketball team as well um but um i was in the gifted music program the gifted arts program
03:41i played the piano i did recitals and i was kind of a busy kid i did a lot of different stuff to stay
03:47busy and stay out out of the streets but as i got older that things kind of changed i kind of went
03:52you know off the path a little bit but i was able to jump back on okay well so okay so you you were
04:00like um you know i was asking her because you know i feel like when you're recording artists and singer
04:07and stuff like that a lot of times you get started in church but she was different she got started at
04:13school yeah and so she had the support of her her teachers and her classmates and things like that
04:19to really get her out there and then of course the support of her mom and so uh very excited to hear
04:26about what made you decide this was going to be what you wanted to do um well when i was a kid i
04:32always knew that i would love the music and i always knew that i wanted to be a musician so
04:37i just i i stuck with it you know yeah you just stuck with it now look at her albums later
04:44yeah she she just stuck with it you know no big deal you know and so very excited though okay so
04:50so you do music and so what was your first passion was it the music was it the writing what was your
04:57first passion i think my first passion was writing um i love to write i wrote a book when i was a kid
05:03and um it made it to the uh the young arthur's contest and i won so i was kind of happy about that
05:11so did your mother's did she how did she feel about the music and the writing um she supported
05:18me as a kid yeah yeah she had me enrolled in a lot of programs to keep me busy i love it absolutely
05:26love it okay so from there now you're older and so you continued your craft as far as writing and
05:36songs and things like that so when did you decide to turn all this into a professional
05:41um well actually i started releasing music in 2021 professionally um i i didn't have i didn't
05:50never go to the studio throughout the the years of me growing up i never went to the studio but i
05:56finally got a chance to do it in 2021 i took myself to the studio and that's how i jumped off
06:02the porch and started um releasing music oh nice nice so does it when you hear your music how do you
06:09feel um i feel feel okay makes yeah i feel alive okay so i mean alive you feel alive i'm saying
06:17when you first heard yourself like when i first heard myself singing i'm like oh that's not me is
06:23it you know i didn't like my voice i never was you know i don't call myself a singer but i didn't like
06:29my voice how did you did how did you feel about your singing um well when i first heard myself
06:35rap i i i liked it it you did like yeah i did well that's cool and so did you smile and it's like okay
06:42this is what i want to do yeah so when i was in the studio i was like oh okay i gotta do this i gotta
06:47make more music now is it hard or is it easy making music and going into the studio um it's it's pretty
06:55easy for me since is the music come naturally since i've been writing for so long um it just
07:00it just comes naturally um it's pretty easy making an album is more difficult than releasing a single
07:07though because i have to make so many different songs um but but it it can be done okay how many
07:15songs does it take to make an album um it however many you want to put up there i usually probably try
07:20my first album had i think seven songs my last album had 12 and i don't know how many my next
07:27album is gonna have okay i remember you talking albums i guess they still call them albums but i
07:33remember it would be like almost 10 songs on one side wouldn't it a little and a couple of and then
07:40you flip it over then you have more songs yep and so now you don't have to have that many no you can
07:45have as many or little as you want oh wow is it because of the way you can purchase the songs now
07:52you don't have to buy the whole album exactly it's individual songs well that's interesting to learn
07:57so wow so now are you like making money big time off of this now or how does that work um i don't make
08:05a lot of money doing music but i i like naturally like music so i just do it anyway whether i get paid
08:12or not okay are you always are you always in the need for looking for beats or anything like oh yes
08:17yes i'm always needing beats always maybe i'll tell you about our guys beat um beats by bro they
08:25they have a lot of music oh okay a lot of music so for people they look for people like you okay
08:30writes and and and you know need extra music and beats and stuff yeah i'm always in the always looking
08:36for beats no i love it absolutely love it okay so now how do you decide what songs are to make it
08:44and what songs not gonna make it how do you decide the beat the beats how do you decide it's gonna be
08:50a song well i just listen to a beat and if i like it i'll just choose that and write to it oh so you
08:56write to the beat and not the other way around no i don't write songs first and then um uh put them to
09:04try to find a beat to go with them i find the beat first and then i write to the beat
09:08yep i guess i'm always doing things backwards that's crazy you know
09:15okay so now you you got these songs that's out do you uh are you planning on doing any music videos
09:22with these songs yes um some of my songs already have music videos like i know one song that's going
09:28to be on my next album is called black candle and that's my latest single i just did a music video
09:33to that and then i have another single out called one shot i did a music video to that and then i
09:38have another single out called um i have a uh what is it called it's called caviar breeze and i did a
09:47music video for a caviar breeze as well okay so black candle now you know i'm interested in it so tell
09:53me a little bit about black candle um well black candle um came i was sitting in my room burning a
09:58black candle and i was just like let me write to this i can't because i draw inspiration off
10:04whatever i'm doing like i was just sitting there burning a candle i was like well i might as well
10:08write a song about burning a candle and so i wrote the song and the black candle represents protection
10:13in the spiritual realm um i believe in kind of like a mexican religion called santa muerte
10:20and that's where i learned about the black candles and the different types of candles out there
10:26i read a lot of books about santa morte okay so and that's where i got my name or y'all from as well
10:33okay and then you know that makes sense now i was like okay how did she get that name okay
10:38yeah so it's it's it's mexican it is mexican it's a mexican religion as well yeah okay i was thinking it
10:46was more of a um uh nigerian or something like that no but it can't it does happen in africa too
10:52people in africa believe in it too okay nice so now you learned you learned this craft from from
10:59reading and then you decided to pick up on it tell us a little bit about that um well i started reading
11:05the books and i started practicing it myself with burning the candles and saying the prayers and the
11:11rituals and stuff like that um and that's how i got into it i i just read a book about santa morte not
11:17too long ago i read a lot of books about it a lot of books and i watch a lot of videos about it
11:24um but i've never been to mexico that's the thing because i've been heard mexico is a little dangerous
11:30where um where it originated but i do want to go one day if i can let go of my fear and just go over
11:37there but fear this girl talking about she got fear this girl travels a lot and so uh so what's the
11:44fear in mexico what is the big fear um i just well the the mexican uh religion where i believe in
11:51santa muerte it originated in a town called cepito and that's supposed to be one of the dangerous parts
11:57in mexico city oh okay okay yeah well i have never been that far in mexico but yeah i've been it's scary
12:06just driving over the border okay yeah it originated in cepito oh wow oh man okay so um do you know
12:13anyone here that you know in in real life that that does the same rituals and things like that
12:20actually i don't i don't know anyone in virginia that does it but i did meet people in la that does
12:27it wow when i was in la so no i was mentioning earlier that she's a traveler and so uh tell people
12:34about your travels um i've traveled to a lot of places i've traveled to 17 different states i've never
12:39left the country i've been in the united states my whole life but i have traveled to about 17 different
12:45united states um i've been to la i've been to uh chicago uh miami new york city uh atlanta
12:55uh south carolina north carolina of course and virginia florida different places in florida
13:03i've traveled to indiana um i've been to michigan and that's pretty much it i've never been to vegas
13:12well vegas is fun yeah the way i'm stays in vegas everything doing vegas stays in vegas so you gotta
13:18remember that yeah i had to learn out so okay so now with all your traveling and all the things that
13:25you're doing um is that fun is that something you just love doing yeah i like traveling um i haven't
13:31i haven't left virginia in a couple of years um just the simple fact that i have to do things
13:37differently when i travel now because it's a lot of dangerous places out there now i watch a lot of
13:43documentaries and um i see a lot of dangerous stuff going on so i try to do travel more prepared this
13:51time instead of just because when i used to travel i used to just jump up and go places without doing
13:56any type of research um i would just go but now i can't do that i have to do research first and know
14:03where i'm going know what neighborhoods to stay away from and which places are safe and stuff like
14:09that well you know it is dangerous more more dangerous these days than it is was back in those
14:15days yeah i do know that the crime rate for um you could look at you you're pretty you're little
14:21you know uh they do a lot of that trafficking type thing you know so that's out there a whole lot so
14:27what you know this kind of reminds me of your book and you know i know we're going to talk about your
14:32book in the second half of the show but uh just let's give people a little taste of your book so she
14:38actually brought in the second second volume of her book and it's called living around dangerous human
14:44predators and how to survive them like i mentioned before she's a survivor of domestic violence
14:49and so just give people an idea about the safety measures that you give them in your book
14:54well um i write this book based on different rules that i go through on daily life like if something
15:01happens i just write it down like for example um
15:04like for example one rule said when at a stoplight always check for pedestrians on the left and right and
15:17let them go first so like if you're driving you you want to make sure you stop per pedestrians just
15:23little things like that um let me see
15:29do not take medicine after drinking more than two drinks of alcohol it can be life-threatening
15:38one time i ended up in the er because i was drinking and taking medicine at the same time and i knew that i
15:44should have known that that was dangerous but i did it and i made that a rule in the book so it's just
15:49different things that you have to be aware of and when when you're going about your everyday life
15:55um
15:56take off bulletproof gear with caution the day that you don't wear it could cost your life
16:02if you have a bulletproof vest and you wear it a lot and um you take it all that could be the day
16:08that your life is in danger so i just write little different things like that um for daily use okay
16:15so let's talk about the bulletproof vest so you wear a bulletproof vest yes i do tell us about that
16:21um i i don't wear it in public see i know i i should wear it in public but i i wear a bulletproof
16:27vest around like where i live at and because um it's dangerous is i live in kind of like a dangerous
16:35area so i gotta stay safe yeah absolutely and i had the little matching helmet to go with it too
16:42so i mean so how hard is it to get a bulletproof vest oh it's really easy all you gotta do is go
16:51online i order mine online okay yeah and so do you um so again well you travel a lot and you do a lot
16:58of car car trips and things like that road trips i should say so tell people about your road trips and
17:03how to be cautious on those road trips um well it's it's like one time i locked my keys in the car
17:11and um you have to be careful not to lock your keys in a car i was in the middle of nowhere like i was
17:18literally in the middle of nowhere and i had to wait for hours for someone to drive past me so i could
17:23unlock my keys out the car and that that's the type of stuff that's in this book like you don't want to
17:28leave your keys in the car and there are kits online that you can buy to help you unlock your
17:34own car and and and those are things you know some of the safety measures someone should take before
17:40they go on a road trip wow and so what if um you know have you been on the road trip and you had a
17:47flat tire and no spare have you have any of that ever happened to you um i have needed a jump when i was
17:54uh on the way back from chicago i needed a jump and i had to pull over at a gas station well i pulled
18:00over the gas station my car went started and i needed to jump and i learned to buy jumper cables
18:05from that day forward because i didn't even have any jumper cables so that's the type of stuff that's in
18:10this book yeah so yeah that's important i learned that a long time ago you have to have jumper cables
18:16uh because sometimes somebody might want to help you exactly but they don't have a jumper cables
18:22and then you know that's a valuable lesson and then i use the electric jumper cables now because
18:28so i want i don't need anyone else to help me i can just plug the electric jumper cables to the car
18:33and start it that way oh wow see i mean that's something different too i never even thought about
18:38that yeah my mechanic had uh something like that the last time he looked at my car and so yeah i
18:44remember that that's really cool so see you learned a whole lot out there in the world yep you learned a
18:50whole lot i did so okay so let's let's take it back a little bit um you are a single parent let's
18:57talk about that well i had i have a 17 year old he's about to be 18 in a couple months and i also
19:04have a 20 year old and um he he graduated from high school i'm proud of him i didn't graduate myself
19:10i do have a ged though um so i'm glad i'm proud of my uh 20 year old from graduating from high school
19:16oh that's good congratulations thank you look at you look at you did she look like she got any kids
19:22that old not at all not at all man i mean you know what it it takes a village right and so
19:31you have been there you've done things and um you know again you've been through domestic violence
19:40and things like that and so you've learned how to package yourself i should say that package yourself
19:47to look out for yourself and so let's talk about how you know like you adopted this new religion
19:55how does your family feel about that new religion um well no one likes my new religion um they they
20:01are christians so they really don't like it they think it's devil worship but it's not really devil
20:06worship it's more so like a protection type of thing you know it's it's not devil worship it's more
20:12spirituality in the mexican culture you know um i know i'm not a mexican but i did adapt a lot of
20:21mexican behaviors mexican culture um especially when i was in la and so that's how i learned that
20:29religion um but anybody can practice it it doesn't you don't have to be a mexican anyone you can be
20:35black white puerto rican anything wow wow now so this religion do they do like the tarot cards yes they
20:42do use tarot cards for some of the practices as well and you know how to do that um well actually i just
20:50have a deck of cards and then whenever i do the spread and i pull a card i just pull out the little
20:57booklet that goes with it and that's how i know what's what the card means okay now is that negative
21:02and scary do you ever pull up something like negative for somebody um yeah sometimes sometimes
21:09do you let them know yeah you do yeah i don't like that i just want positive stuff you know yeah and
21:16who does right you always want to hear positive stuff but in real life everything's not apples and
21:22cherries exactly you know and so um stuff happens to the to the best of us you know at the end of the
21:29day and so well i mean did was it scary learning it it was at the beginning yeah so how did you feel
21:37it was kind of like i know i shouldn't be doing this because my family's not like this but i'm gonna do
21:42this anyway tell us a little bit about that uh well i said i i wasn't gonna practice it because
21:48of them but i ended up doing it anyway because it was it's it's you right it's not them this is your
21:56life and so uh so let's go take it back a little bit before we go to commercial break i want to learn
22:02more about your uh your your movies and things like that so tell us about that um well like i said i have
22:09one movie called the darkest death and that's about a escort that um met a crazy guy one of her
22:16clients turned on her and then i wrote another script called uh tent of terror and that's about
22:22a woman that's having auditory hallucinations and then um unless she can't separate what's going on in
22:30reality from her dreams and um and i i direct my own films um i do have a crew of cast members that i
22:38use uh for my movies i use like casting websites to hire them um i use the virginia casting website
22:46a lot um for that but i i direct my own films i write them myself i write the scripts myself i do
22:54the sound the audio um you know i do pretty much i'm a one-woman show
22:58yep sometimes it does sometimes i wish i had a crew whole crew of members but i'd be trying to
23:06save money because my films are more on the low budget side and so um if i do everything myself
23:12i can save a lot of money that way yeah and so i know we were talking earlier um but about you know
23:18the different people that i know from here and i'm not from here i've been here six years that are doing
23:24stage plays and movies and things like that and i bet you know the collaboration would probably be good
23:31you know uh if i can point you in the right direction you know just a hello and you know
23:36maybe uh volunteer you know people people want to get their name out there right a lot of times they
23:41volunteer just to be able to say hey i was on this film set and i learned how to do this and i learned
23:47how to do that and a lot of times it helps other people to to to help some people so that's a thing
23:54to think about too so i would love to put you in connections with the people that i know
23:58uh from here that that are doing the same things that you do that would be great yeah absolutely
24:04absolutely so before we're going to break tell people how to get in touch with you um you can
24:08find me on instagram at oya obenito though i'm also on youtube at oya obenito though and i also have
24:15a hotline number that i can be contacted with which is 888-491-1626 nice nice so when we come back
24:24we're going to learn more about her books and how you can get the books and and how you can get in
24:29touch with her you know to to be in one of her productions and things like that so hang tight
24:34we'll be back after these messages
24:37an skst radio network production
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25:00let's go
25:04on with the show
25:05on with the show
25:07oh
25:11oh
25:12on with the show
25:16oh
25:18Oh, oh, oh.
25:40Okay, if you just tuned in, you haven't tuned in too late,
25:42you tuned in to the Kami Grayson Show,
25:44and this is the month of November,
25:46and guess what?
25:47it's thanks for giving month and then we have here my very special friend tell people your name
25:56did i say it yes oh yeah i like it it just kind of flows just flows just like she does she
26:07she got so much going on i'm so excited for her okay so we talked about uh her adventure
26:13um her positive adventures i would say right so now if you don't mind i would love to talk about
26:20um the domestic violence part we just came out of the domestic violence month and you know to
26:26actually have a real recipient here a person who can tell us the things that she sort of did wrong
26:33and uh and made it right um so let's let's hear your story about that um well i was a victim of
26:40domestic violence um it happened to me in 2014 i was at a strip party and i met someone there um
26:48and i invited him back to my house and he started trafficking me and beating me um and then it
26:54happened again around 2015 um i met a guy online on instagram and i invited him to my house and he
27:02started beating me and then it happened again in 2020 when i was in la um at a homeless shelter
27:09on skid row i met someone and he started beating me and then i realized that it was a pattern that i
27:15was attracting these men and it was because that i didn't pay attention to the red flags one of the
27:21biggest red flags is watch where you meet people um if you're meeting somebody online you don't just
27:26invite them back to your house you get to know them first meet them in a public space um and if you're
27:32meeting someone at a strip party which is definitely not a good place to meet someone
27:36uh i would say never invite people back to your house that you meet at a strip party always meet
27:42them in a public place and also if you're going to a homeless shelter that you shouldn't be talking
27:49to anyone there at all you should be trying to focus on yourself and getting your life in order
27:53so okay so that sounds like those are three things that you did and had to learn about
28:02and so um i'm gonna ask this question do you think that um meeting people and sharing with people
28:10what has happened do you think that triggers them to give them the red light to be able well she's
28:17been through domestic violence before so i can treat her any kind of way yeah sometimes people do
28:22think that but that's not true they can't treat people you can't treat people any kind of way based
28:27on what they've been through in the past yeah well now people have a way of throwing up your past
28:32exactly yeah to you instead of trying to help you they're you know just kind of using it as a crutch
28:38to to to use you so what are your what are your red flags now that um you had then that now you see
28:48transparently right now um well like i was saying um never invite somebody back to your house that you
28:54just met especially if you're meeting them in a bad environment like a strip party a strip club
29:00a homeless shelter or online those are all three places that are at high risk for to meet uh predators
29:08so i would say watch out for red flags if there's if it's too good to be true it probably is if they're
29:15showering you with compliments on the first date saying they're gonna marry you and saying they're gonna
29:20buy you a whole bunch of gifts and and they're showering you with gifts and things like that
29:24those are red flags to watch out for because that can be a predator you know yeah so uh so for instance
29:31i'm just asking questions so for instance if i met this person and and they seem like they're too good
29:39to be true and they're saying you know they they'll do this for me and they do that for me you know
29:44in exchange for you to do whatever they want you to do sexual favor or whatever they want you to do
29:50and you do it because you're thinking you're going to get this gift from this person uh that's
29:58a red flag right there exactly it is it's a red flag okay because a lot of times women you know they
30:04fall for especially if they don't have right and so they fall for um people promising them gifts and
30:13things like that so that's something not to get involved with uh i do know that much um yeah i
30:20mean so when you notice the red flags how did you get out and you had all these three situations right
30:25how did you get out of the first one um well i told him i was one day we was arguing he was
30:32beating on me and i told him that um i was going outside real quick and then i'll be right back and i just
30:37never went back and that's how i was able to get away from him so you left with that like
30:43your coat or shoes i left everything and it just left oh wow i even left my car wow you just left
30:51yep i let he had the keys to my car he took the keys to my car and i just let him have it and just left
30:59man yep and i never saw him again wow that's amazing so what about number two um i got away from him
31:08he left on his own he got tired of arguing with me he just left and went back to new york city where
31:14he's from and then um the third guy i was able to get away from him i told him that i was going
31:20somewhere and i never went back oh wow yeah they didn't tie me i wasn't thank god i wasn't tied up
31:26or anything yeah yeah um but i was able to get away with just telling him i was i would be right back
31:33and i just never went back to him yeah what if you're in a situation where you are you know where
31:40you can't get out the house exactly you know um i think that's that's the scary part for a lot of the
31:47domestic violent women um but another thing too though you know you got to know that you're in a
31:53situation you can't get out of a situation if you don't realize you are the victim and you are
31:58you know because they have a way of turning it on you right it's your fault i'm beating you up
32:03because it's your fault you know i'm beating you up because you made me you know do this so how do
32:08how do people react from that how do they get away from that um well i i would just say well i think i'm
32:15just so thankful that i wasn't held against my will to the point where i couldn't leave like some people
32:20victims do have to get they get tied up or you know held at gunpoint but i wasn't luckily they were
32:27just beating me and i was able to walk away um freely but if you're in that situation i would say
32:33um try to reach out to the domestic violence hotline because they can help they can help and you don't
32:40you don't have to stay in the city that you're in you can leave and go to another city even if it feels
32:46uncomfortable starting over in a new area you can still start over somewhere else yeah if it means
32:53your life and your safety i would do it yeah now you have a hotline number tell people your hotline
33:00number my hotline number is 888-491-1626 okay so you know you can call her if you need
33:09to just talk to someone if you are in a situation that you are not for sure that you're really ready
33:19to get out of uh i believe if you talk to someone you know they could probably help you
33:25nine chances out of ten your family members already know what type of situation you're in
33:30because a lot of times it's isolation right they will keep you away from your family and so uh your
33:36family or friends so they isolate you so nobody will know what's going on and then a lot of times uh
33:42women they feel like i can't make it without him you know so she just gave you an avenue um where you
33:49can actually call someone and they can help relocate you and you don't even have to be in the same city
33:56exactly and so um so you can look up uh say google can look it up or or alexa can look it up you know
34:04just domestic violence shelter look that up and um you know find that telephone number or you know
34:12do me a favor if you're tuning into this show and you're seeing this show and you know someone
34:17you know someone that could use some help please please please look that number up and be the good
34:24person you are this is thanks for giving month give that number to someone who you think need that
34:30number or give her number to someone who you think need it give that gift give that gift of helping
34:36them get out of their situation right you know so i appreciate that and let's talk a little bit more
34:41about this book so her book predators and how to survive them and so this is like the second book
34:49of four so let's talk about one and work our way down to four well the this is the only it's only two
34:57of these books right here um it's one book one and then is this is book two um but i did write two
35:04prior ebooks called one is called ain't no love in the a and that's about my experiences that i had
35:10when i was in atlanta georgia um when i was in atlanta georgia i went through a lot of bad stuff so
35:17it's a little short ebook and then i went um and then i wrote a book called i'm still abstinent shortly
35:24after and that's about my experience being in the escort industry when i was doing that and um
35:30and how i became abstinent and how another person can watch out for red flags and become abstinent
35:36themselves okay let's talk about the escort thing if you mind how did you get into that um well i
35:42started that in 2007 a long time ago when i was like 18 um i went keep in mind she's older guys she
35:50just look like she's 18 now um i went to a strip club and i started working and then i met somebody
35:59there that introduced me to that lifestyle oh gotcha so was it adventurous or fun or was it scary the
36:09whole entire time it was scary the whole entire time oh my gosh um it's a lot of pimps invest in that
36:16industry you can't just it's hard to make money by yourself they what they call them renegades
36:21when you're by yourself and you don't want a pimp they call them a renegade and i was a renegade and
36:27i didn't want to pimp but i ended up with one anyway because they're always pimps in that industry it's
36:33really really hard to be a renegade it really is are the pimps abusive themselves yes they are they're
36:41very abusive and um it's all about the money for them they don't care about your health they don't
36:46care about your well-being they don't care about your your mental health anything they only care
36:51about a dollar that's all it's about oh wow amazing so how do you get out of something like that
36:57um i i call the human trafficking hotline another hotline number that i turned to um it's kind of
37:03like a divestive violence hotline to do the same thing they put you on the shelter uh they pay for
37:08your transportation and they make make sure that you get away from your trafficker oh wow wow and so
37:14you know i've never thought about like that being called human trafficking i never would have thought
37:19of that because of the other way they're doing kidnapping and right now shipping uh people out so
37:25now i never even would have thought of it that way but gosh girl you've been through a lot i have
37:30you've been through a lot but you're shining now yeah you're shining now and you're able to tell that
37:35story and you're able to help other people who might be going down that road that don't see a
37:43light at the end of the tunnel exactly and so i'm very glad that you're giving that information to us
37:49uh this month because i mean a lot of people are probably needing what you have to offer so with that
37:56being said tell people how they can get the book um well my book is available at barnes and noble and
38:03it's also available on amazon.com okay and so yeah so and and you can reach her your social platform
38:10um you can reach me on um instagram at oyao benito though and you can reach me at youtube on oyao benito
38:17though i love it absolutely love it guys if y'all have any words of wisdom uh words of thanks
38:24for all you you know please feel free to leave it on our instagram or our um our youtube pages
38:31and uh she'll get the message uh or again you see her name there o-y-a-o-b-i-n-i-d-o-d-o
38:40look her up look her up uh she's a beautiful person inside and out and so i'm so proud of her i'm so
38:47proud of all the things that she's doing and offering and and you know she got still writing and
38:53she got music coming out and i mean what can we do to support her even more you know what can we do
38:58um we can buy her music you know we can go buy her books we can do what it takes to kind of help get
39:04her um i mean she's already up there guys i mean she she got albums out but she's just taking this
39:11time to to give back it was in her spirit to do this show it was in her spirit to to give back and
39:18share her experience and we're very grateful for that we're very grateful for that and tell people
39:24what are your what is your what is your biggest accomplishment that you're happy with um i'm just
39:30i don't have a huge accomplishment but i'm just thankful just to be here just just thankful yeah
39:37you don't think you're you're like your music i mean i the books oh that's huge accomplishment yeah
39:45and so what what is your favorite what what do you like doing the most out of all the things that you
39:49do um i would have to say music the music yeah so why um i just love music i every bit of it
39:57she's got music in her blood yeah i love it absolutely love it so is there anything else
40:06that i may be missing that um you know that that we need to share with the world because let's do
40:13some words of wisdom you have time for that okay so if i was a youngster and i wanted to learn
40:22how to get into the music field since that's your favorite how would i go about doing that i would
40:29say start writing first right if you're writing your own music start writing the songs um start
40:35looking for beats and then go to a studio that can help um go to a studio that can that can uh record you
40:45okay and so the first step is is finding a beat finding uh instrumental that you like and the next
40:53step would be writing the song uh to the instrumental and then taking that instrumental and that beat to
41:00the studio okay now so if i'm taking my my instrumental and i'm taking um my writing to a studio what was
41:09what would stop them from using my music um nothing oh they will use it they will use it
41:17wow okay so uh with that being said uh you want to make sure that you get whatever you write
41:24and all your beats copywritten first exactly uh before you share it um in the studios because you
41:30don't want people stealing your stuff you know that's just the number one no-no um if it's someone you
41:36know and y'all working together and he's like helping you with studio time you know give him
41:41that credit for whatever he's doing at the studio mixing and mastering right yeah uh but you know
41:46there's a whole lot of different avenues now especially with ai that you don't have to just
41:52give away your stuff you know um so that's that's one thing that i can i can give you know suggestion
41:59that i could give on top of this now so what about being an author tell us about that
42:05um well if you wanted to write your own book just start writing um and you can use platforms like
42:12uh barnes and noble and amazon that will allow you to self-publish your own book instead of going
42:18through a publisher okay now i like that i like that a lot because what the publisher would they take
42:24your stuff right and so it's kind of hard these days it is and so you're finding yourself self-publishing
42:30you get your own credit right right you don't have to uh advertise that company in order to and i and
42:38you know she's like 100 right because i went to a publisher and that publisher i barely see any of
42:45my royalties first of all and so that publisher sells my books i found that my book was in walmart one
42:53time oh i didn't even know my book was in walmart you know what i'm saying uh-huh it's translated in
42:58chinese now my etiquette book i didn't know it was translated so this is stuff that the publisher is
43:06doing and you get absolutely no credit for it right you know they're using my book for uh like a lesson
43:13plan so her way what she's telling you is 100 on point um and any other pointers that we need for writing
43:24um i think that's it yeah so how do you get it um proofread and all that stuff oh i just do all that
43:32myself too i don't hire a proofreader so okay so with that being said um you can actually now because
43:41we have ai right you can now upload your your uh book in adobe format and then you can have um
43:49the reader read you your whole entire story right and then you see any mistakes you stop the reader
43:55right then and there fix that mistake and then let it continue and so i love that um that's something
44:03new and that's what i'm i'm sharing with because i'm an ai person and so i share that with the people
44:08that that ask me about writing books and so but the self-publishing thing i can't tell you a whole
44:16lot about it like she's done because i went through a publisher you know to to help me with my book
44:22not the last one and which is pretty cool because i did um jada my my little cartoon character my little
44:30daughter my little cartoon character but i did do her on on uh what is it the audible book and so you
44:37said your first book was ain't no love in the a yeah so see see now how did that work how does that
44:43how do you go about doing that um what do you mean uh how do you publish it on amazon oh i just go to
44:50amazon direct kindle publishing that's the name of the website okay um kindle direct publishing kdp
44:58kdp yes yes yes okay and so i couldn't remember i was just playing around and so uh they told me
45:06uh because i did this like a couple of weeks ago a couple of weeks ago and they said that
45:11it was not enough pages
45:13you
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