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  • 2 weeks ago
A man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen.
Transcript
00:00:00This video is brought to you by S.T.A.L.A.
00:00:30I don't know.
00:01:00You're dead, bitch!
00:01:13What the hell are you looking at?
00:01:30Fuckin' hell.
00:01:42Looks like you are shit out of luck, beautiful.
00:01:58Now I'm gonna give you your C-section.
00:02:00You son of a bitch!
00:02:04Eat your vegetables.
00:02:08He's in here!
00:02:10Come on!
00:02:20Get outta here!
00:02:22Get outta here!
00:02:32We'll see if that happens.
00:02:33Shut up and roll!
00:02:40Get outta here!
00:02:42I don't read for you.
00:02:44No!
00:02:50See you.
00:03:01Huh?
00:03:03Come on, push! Push!
00:03:25You know what I hate?
00:03:29I hate these four-year-old jackholes wearing ponytails.
00:03:35That ponytail doesn't make you look hip, young, or cool.
00:03:40Okay, it's coming. Come on, give me one big push!
00:03:56What the fuck?
00:03:59I'll bleed! I'll bleed now!
00:04:06Quit squarming and ruining my shot.
00:04:12What a piece of crap.
00:04:17We're out of here.
00:04:18Sorry about the messy delivery, Mon.
00:04:27We'll be quiet.
00:04:36Give Junior something to dream of.
00:04:38I'll be quiet.
00:04:39I'll be quiet.
00:04:40I'll be quiet.
00:04:41I'll be quiet.
00:04:43I'll be quiet.
00:04:44I'll be quiet.
00:04:45I'll be quiet.
00:04:46I'll be quiet.
00:04:48I'll be quiet.
00:04:49I'll be quiet.
00:04:50I'll be quiet.
00:04:51I'll be quiet.
00:04:52I'll be quiet.
00:04:53I'll be quiet.
00:04:54I'll be quiet.
00:04:55I'll be quiet.
00:04:56I'll be quiet.
00:04:57I'll be quiet.
00:04:58I'll be quiet.
00:04:59I'll be quiet.
00:05:00I'll be quiet.
00:05:01I'll be quiet.
00:05:02I'll be quiet.
00:05:03I'll be quiet.
00:05:04I'll be quiet.
00:05:05I'll be quiet.
00:05:06I'll be quiet.
00:05:07I'll be quiet.
00:05:08I'll be quiet.
00:05:11I'll be quiet.
00:05:12Here, I'm waiting for you to kill this woman.
00:05:16Something funny.
00:05:17I was just remembering a limerick.
00:05:17There once was a woman who was quite big at.
00:05:20She had three babies named Nat Pat and Tatt.
00:05:23She said it was fun in the breeding.
00:05:25I found it was hell in the feeding.
00:05:27When she saw there was no tit for tat.
00:05:29You have caused me no end of trouble.
00:05:32But now, I shall return your favor.
00:05:33Yeah, see, that's the latest thing.
00:05:36The gun will only fire when it recognizes the thumbprint of the owner.
00:05:40That makes firearms safer, and it cuts down the crime, too.
00:05:43What the...
00:05:44Get him!
00:05:55Who are you?
00:05:57Lady, what's your name?
00:06:03?
00:06:08???
00:06:12?
00:06:21?
00:06:26?
00:06:28?
00:06:30Nice knockers.
00:07:00Nice knockers.
00:07:30Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:07:34Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:07:44Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:08:24Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:08:26Now, how the heck did this happen, huh?
00:08:28Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:08:30Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:08:32Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
00:08:34You fucking fuckers.
00:08:36When the woman draws a gun, I mean, who expects a pregnant lady to pull a piece on you, huh?
00:08:40And who was this man who was with her?
00:08:43I don't know.
00:08:44After the woman escaped, we tracked her here.
00:08:46This guy, he was hanging around at the bus stop.
00:08:49I mean, so we decided that we'd deal with him later, but we go after the woman.
00:08:52He gets in on the action, huh?
00:08:54He took a gun, he started shooting at us, and that's when you arrived.
00:09:00Take it easy.
00:09:01Sit down.
00:09:03Oh, you all right?
00:09:04Are you trying to tell me that some bum came to her rescue?
00:09:12Well, well, well, this is a fine ass, huh?
00:09:15I won't make this mistake again.
00:09:18Well, I got a piece of lead in my butt as a reminder.
00:09:21Well, I can appreciate that.
00:09:24Ah, my ass!
00:09:27And let that be a reminder never to fail me again.
00:09:34Well, I got a piece of lead in my butt.
00:10:04I got a piece of lead in my butt.
00:10:34And let that be a piece of lead in my butt.
00:10:40Turn.
00:11:04Don't make me kill you to get the baby.
00:11:34Don't make me kill you to get the baby.
00:12:04Don't make me kill you to get the baby.
00:12:34Don't make me kill you to get the baby.
00:13:04Don't make me kill you to get the baby.
00:13:12my flight home. Okay? Okay. I love you too. Yeah, bye-bye. You know why a gun is better
00:13:26than a wife? Hmm? Don't know. Well, you can put a silencer on a gun.
00:13:32Sir, we spotted the target at third and Jefferson heading toward the park. Turn us around.
00:14:02Don't worry, kid. Someone good will find you.
00:14:18Oh, my God. Look at this. Someone left a baby.
00:14:41Oops.
00:14:48Fuck me sideways.
00:15:18Welcome back, Mr. Smith.
00:15:44Where's Quintana? Wait, Smith. Mistress Dawn is with the customer. Wait, you can't go up there.
00:15:50Oh, yeah, baby. Smith.
00:15:52I like that, huh? Besides, I thought Mistress Mary was more your type.
00:15:55You can't go up there.
00:15:57Come on.
00:15:57Come here.
00:16:07What's my name?
00:16:10I love her.
00:16:14But when he needs.
00:16:19Money.
00:16:21Money.
00:16:23Money makes the world go round.
00:16:26Money.
00:16:27Money will make you change your sound if the price ain't right, if the price ain't right.
00:16:33Sorry, Belle, the bar's closed.
00:16:48Wait your turn, Smith.
00:16:50There's plenty to go around.
00:16:51Not for me, thanks.
00:16:52I'm lactose and tauren.
00:16:54Just send me what you want, Smith.
00:17:03Ooh, kinky.
00:17:10I want you to take care of this baby for a while.
00:17:13Five grand.
00:17:14That should keep you off your back for a couple of weeks.
00:17:19Are you clean?
00:17:21You know I'm a good girl scout.
00:17:23So you'll do it.
00:17:24Vaffanculo.
00:17:26Screw yourself, Smith.
00:17:27For all I know, you snatched the kid.
00:17:30I don't want to be an accessory for kidnapping.
00:17:32I didn't steal the kid, trust me.
00:17:34Trust you?
00:17:36I don't even know your real name.
00:17:39Who are you, really, Smith?
00:17:41I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous.
00:17:55Just keep the baby for one day, and you can keep the whole role.
00:18:02Forget it, Dad.
00:18:13Forget it, Dad.
00:18:17Fine.
00:18:21Ciao.
00:18:22Ciao.
00:18:22Ciao.
00:18:24Ciao.
00:18:25Ciao.
00:18:26Ciao.
00:18:28Ciao.
00:18:30Ciao.
00:18:31Ciao.
00:18:59Rest in mood.
00:19:23Let's go.
00:19:25This lady's baby needs to be fed.
00:19:26Find me every wet nurse, lactating hooker, and mammary on tap in the city.
00:19:34I already told you, Smith.
00:19:37You're not welcome in the land of milk and honey.
00:19:42I need a little cream for my coffee and some answers.
00:19:48I'm sorry.
00:19:53Scram, fellas.
00:19:54Give me a moment alone here with CafΓ© Lomba.
00:20:01Relax.
00:20:03Relax.
00:20:06Give me a piccola trolletta.
00:20:12There was a man here with a baby not too long ago.
00:20:18Yes, a real jerk.
00:20:22He wanted me to take care of the kid.
00:20:26And what is this man's name?
00:20:30Smith.
00:20:31Mr. Smith.
00:20:32How the hell do I know his real name?
00:20:41He saw me a couple of times when I was pulling straight tricks.
00:20:45He always used the same name.
00:20:47Smith.
00:20:49I don't believe you.
00:20:50I think you'll know more about this man.
00:20:59He was a lousy tipper.
00:21:07Gets harder the more times it's fired.
00:21:09If I had anything on him, I'd tell you.
00:21:23Then it gets a lot more painful the closer I get.
00:21:28What's up, Doc?
00:21:35Oh, you're a waskily rabbit.
00:21:41But you're not waskily enough.
00:21:44Yeah?
00:21:46That's a sick shooter.
00:21:47I just counted six shots.
00:21:52You've blown your load.
00:21:59Oh.
00:22:01Yeah, well, what about you?
00:22:03Your nine millimeter is empty, too.
00:22:05Yeah, you fired eight on the rooftop, one in the men's room.
00:22:08And your second cartridge was expended at the playground.
00:22:12And you won't be getting it up with that gun you took off my man.
00:22:14Oh.
00:22:15Well, you see, like my weapon, it also has the thumbprint safety device.
00:22:20Oh, really?
00:22:22Wanna bet?
00:22:23Nothing like a good hand, Joe.
00:22:45I don't understand the word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying,
00:23:09and I refuse to apologize.
00:23:11Damn you, Smith.
00:23:12I could have been snuffed back there.
00:23:14Hey, you should be thanking me for saving your sweet back door.
00:23:16Why did you wait so goddamn long?
00:23:19You're a bad girl.
00:23:20You deserve to be punished.
00:23:21Which car do you want?
00:23:23What?
00:23:24I'm tired of walking.
00:23:27Look at this.
00:23:28You want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?
00:23:38I give up.
00:23:40With a car, the pricks are on the inside.
00:23:44Tell me about it.
00:23:45Hello, honey.
00:24:04Oh, good, good.
00:24:08I'm glad you like the flower.
00:24:11Listen, sweetie.
00:24:13I've run into a small hitch.
00:24:15I think I'm going to have to be out here for a while longer.
00:24:20But don't, don't worry.
00:24:22I will be back in time for Timmy's birthday party, I swear to you.
00:24:27Hugs and kisses.
00:24:28Bye-bye.
00:24:31So what was I supposed to do?
00:24:33These guys were stalking this pregnant lady.
00:24:35I couldn't just stand there.
00:24:38You see that?
00:24:39I fucking hate that.
00:24:41What?
00:24:42This guy changing lanes without signaling.
00:24:44I mean, how hard is it to use your signal?
00:24:48So you started shooting at them.
00:24:50No, I don't carry a piece.
00:24:53I went to the woman, she had a gun.
00:24:55They started firing.
00:24:56I shot back.
00:24:57He's done it again.
00:24:59I moved my finger one inch to use my turn signal.
00:25:03Why are these assholes so lazy,
00:25:04they can't move their finger one fucking measly inch to drive more safely?
00:25:09You want to know why?
00:25:10Not particularly.
00:25:11Because these rich bastards are to be callous and inconsiderate in the first place
00:25:15to make all that money,
00:25:15so when they get on the road,
00:25:16they can't out themselves.
00:25:17They've got to be callous and inconsiderate drivers too.
00:25:20It's in their nature.
00:25:21Why don't you take the baby to the police?
00:25:23I can't go to the police.
00:25:25Why not?
00:25:26I'm the unibomber.
00:25:27They can't the unibomber.
00:25:29That's what they think.
00:25:31You stupid...
00:25:32All right.
00:25:34That's it.
00:25:45You are the angriest man in the world.
00:25:48If I don't remember right,
00:25:49you used to like it like that.
00:25:50Well, how many freelancers have you got?
00:25:58How many local boys?
00:26:01I need men, you understand?
00:26:04I need a lot more men.
00:26:06I want four mags,
00:26:24a box of 9mm 147 hollow points,
00:26:27and give me 50 FMJs.
00:26:30You're a little short.
00:26:38You lied.
00:26:40You said you had $5,000.
00:26:42How about we make up the difference with food stamps?
00:26:45You want to buy bullets with food stamps?
00:26:47It's as good as cash.
00:26:48You're pathetic, Smith.
00:26:50We'll wait for you outside.
00:26:53Look, why don't I sign over this check
00:26:54I got as a blood bank to you
00:26:56for more than covering?
00:26:58Throw in that check you got
00:26:59from the sperm bank
00:27:00and got yourself a deal.
00:27:01I don't get that check till Wednesday.
00:27:04Listen, why don't you take
00:27:05a half a box of shells
00:27:06and I'll give you the other half
00:27:07when you bring me the rest of the money
00:27:09on Wednesday.
00:27:09Deal.
00:27:29Damn it, Smith!
00:27:39What the hell are you doing?
00:27:40Making some money.
00:27:42Making some money?
00:27:43Yeah, to buy something for the baby.
00:27:45Something for the baby?
00:27:51A bulletproof vest
00:27:53is a better investment than a crib.
00:27:55Makes me think what you do
00:27:57to get him in the right school.
00:28:02So this is it.
00:28:04It's not the Ritz,
00:28:05but it's home.
00:28:08Same old, Smith.
00:28:10Down and dirty.
00:28:11Glad you like it.
00:28:12Say hello to Mickey.
00:28:32Maybe I should take the baby
00:28:33to the police.
00:28:34No, you'd never make it.
00:28:36They'll be watching all the precincts.
00:28:37Probably got some of the boys
00:28:38and blow on Piola, too.
00:28:54I'm rounding up 50 guys.
00:28:56Well, I guess that's just
00:28:56going to have to do, huh?
00:29:06Stop the car.
00:29:08He was here.
00:29:09Come on.
00:29:10What makes you think he was here?
00:29:11Trust me.
00:29:12I know what people do
00:29:13and I know what people think.
00:29:14I always have.
00:29:15Even as a kid,
00:29:16I had this gift.
00:29:17You should have seen
00:29:18the playground herd
00:29:19I laid down
00:29:20playing rock, paper, scissors, buddy.
00:29:22Now stop the car.
00:29:25Who do you think
00:29:25wants this baby dead?
00:29:27I have no idea
00:29:28who's trying to kill it.
00:29:29Don't call him an it.
00:29:31It's an it to me.
00:29:36Tell me, Smith.
00:29:38Is there anything you like?
00:29:40Yeah.
00:29:41My privacy.
00:29:47Tell me something
00:29:48I don't know
00:29:49per una volta.
00:29:50Brutto figlio di puttana bastardo.
00:29:51I love it
00:29:52when you talk like that.
00:29:54Can I offer you anything?
00:29:58Carrot?
00:30:01It's good for your eyesight.
00:30:02Of all the squats in the city,
00:30:09how does he know
00:30:10Smith's in this one?
00:30:11Another lucky guess?
00:30:13Nah, he doesn't guess.
00:30:15He sees things we don't.
00:30:16He was once an FBI profiler.
00:30:20Forensic behavior consultant.
00:30:21My God.
00:30:24How many times
00:30:24do I have to tell
00:30:25you guys details?
00:30:28Make all the difference
00:30:30in this business.
00:30:32Hey, but...
00:30:33Don't you think
00:30:35you should hang back, sir?
00:30:36The leader who stays
00:30:37in the rear
00:30:38takes it in the rear.
00:30:39Besides...
00:30:50Violence is one of the
00:30:51most fun things to watch.
00:30:54Shh, shh.
00:30:54No, no, no, baby, no.
00:30:56We could call him Oliver.
00:30:57Oliver?
00:30:58Yeah.
00:30:59Like Oliver Twist.
00:31:00Because he's a Norfolk?
00:31:01Because I like the book.
00:31:03You like the book?
00:31:04I didn't hate it.
00:31:05That's a first.
00:31:09Which bird they could
00:31:13do you think
00:31:13I should go with here?
00:31:15Uh, cute and cuddly?
00:31:17Or the one that says
00:31:19you're becoming a man now, son?
00:31:22Yeah.
00:31:24So, Mr. Hertz,
00:31:26how old is your son?
00:31:28He's eight.
00:31:29Then it had to be
00:31:30large and powerful.
00:31:32Can you believe it?
00:31:34There's nothing on the TV
00:31:35about any of this.
00:31:36Never, please.
00:31:39Roadside bomb
00:31:42wounded.
00:31:42We have it in our...
00:31:44Hey.
00:31:47Did you notice that?
00:31:49No, this works.
00:31:50Look.
00:31:52Lame-ass politician
00:31:53rants about gun control.
00:31:55He cries.
00:31:57So tonight...
00:31:58Switch to this channel
00:31:59with this heavy metal music.
00:32:02He shuts up.
00:32:05That's so weird.
00:32:06You must find it comforting.
00:32:13Sir.
00:32:13Yeah?
00:32:14Men are in place
00:32:15in the roof.
00:32:16That's good.
00:32:18Anybody know
00:32:19what a Jimmy Cagney
00:32:20love scene is?
00:32:21Hmm?
00:32:22It's where Cagney
00:32:23lets the good guy live.
00:32:24Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:32:28And if that happens
00:32:30in this show,
00:32:31I'm gonna do a lot more
00:32:33than ask for my money back.
00:32:35All right.
00:32:36Let's kill this mother.
00:32:38Go.
00:32:42It doesn't surprise me
00:32:44that Oliver's
00:32:44into death metal.
00:32:46Look at his surrogate parents.
00:32:48No.
00:32:48I'm telling you.
00:32:50This means...
00:32:51Go!
00:32:52Back way!
00:32:53Ah!
00:33:06Ah!
00:33:10Ah!
00:33:19Ah!
00:33:20Ah!
00:33:21Ah!
00:33:22It's all a game to me
00:33:31Seven or eleven, snake is touching you
00:33:38Double up a thing, it's a straight spot
00:33:41The ace is straight, the ace is coming too
00:33:44Thank you
00:34:14Ow!
00:34:20Look at you!
00:34:34You gotta be an angel! I know you got to see!
00:34:37You mean you wanna leave the dead of-
00:34:40The only thing you see is what you know it's gonna be.
00:34:57The ace is for you.
00:35:10My god, do we really suck?
00:35:24Or is this guy really that good?
00:35:26Come on, boys!
00:35:27He ain't out of the briar pets yet!
00:35:40Shoot the dog!
00:35:50Shoot the dog!
00:35:51No.
00:35:53Why not?
00:35:54I like dogs.
00:36:10Wait a minute.
00:36:22Oh, that rat bastard.
00:36:28What is it?
00:36:41It's a baby's diaper.
00:36:48This idea blows, Smith.
00:36:50It's the only idea we've got.
00:36:52You actually think that Oliver's mother lived near a heavy metal club,
00:36:56and that he could hear the music while he was still inside the womb?
00:37:00Yep.
00:37:01That's why he doesn't cry when he's listening to some headbangers' bash.
00:37:04Prediculous.
00:37:05Well, he isn't crying now.
00:37:10So this is the only club near where I encountered the baby's mother?
00:37:14I still say this is a wild hunch.
00:37:16Yeah?
00:37:17So how do you explain all these boxes of diapers?
00:37:19Somebody's been stalking out.
00:37:21Let's find out who.
00:37:23You're the owner of this place.
00:37:41Who's the Oscar?
00:37:42I am.
00:37:46Can I buy you a drink?
00:37:47No.
00:37:48No.
00:37:49No.
00:37:50No.
00:37:51No.
00:37:52Just as I suspected.
00:37:54You're really into jewelry.
00:37:56No.
00:37:57No.
00:37:58No.
00:37:59No.
00:38:00Who occupies the room upstairs?
00:38:01Go to hell.
00:38:02No.
00:38:03Don't mess with me.
00:38:04You ain't got the cojones.
00:38:06Oh, God.
00:38:08So who are these guys?
00:38:13I rented a place to some suit 11 months ago.
00:38:17He paid the whole year in cash.
00:38:20I never saw him again.
00:38:22I just figured they were used the back way.
00:38:26No.
00:38:27No.
00:38:28No.
00:38:29I didn't.
00:38:30What an accident is that he didn't break it.
00:38:31Read it.
00:38:32Oh, my God.
00:38:39What the joke is.
00:38:44This is pretty fucked up.
00:38:49This is pretty fucked up.
00:39:19Sir, it's your go-to guy.
00:39:26All the mothers have been killed.
00:39:28Only one escaped, temporarily.
00:39:30We found her body and confirmed that she did deliver a child.
00:39:34The babies were supposed to be delivered covertly.
00:39:37I guess setting up this maternity factory
00:39:39on top of a heavy metal club wasn't particularly secret.
00:39:42What a fine lot of babysitters we turned out to be.
00:39:45When Mr. Go-to guy passes, head to the left.
00:39:48Yes, sir. I already made the call.
00:39:50Backup should be arriving any minute.
00:39:52We'll clean this mess up and try to piece together everything that happened.
00:39:56Thank you, sir.
00:39:58I appreciate your confidence.
00:40:00Gentlemen, let's find some answers.
00:40:07Watch where you step.
00:40:09The ice cream is melting.
00:40:12What?
00:40:13I thought donor sperm was your department.
00:40:16These freezers are full of samples.
00:40:19This is weird.
00:40:21There seems to be only one donor.
00:40:23One donor?
00:40:24Yeah.
00:40:25And a generous one at that.
00:40:35This is bone marrow blood.
00:40:37It must be for some kind of cure.
00:40:39How do you know that, Smith?
00:40:40You didn't hear about my Nobel Prize.
00:40:42You see, what it is, it's hard to find marrow that matches that of the recipient.
00:40:56The odds are much better if the donor marrow shares the same DNA with the person receiving it.
00:41:01You mean these people were harvesting babies for some guy's bone marrow transplant?
00:41:08Exactly.
00:41:09And somebody wanted to make sure he didn't get it.
00:41:11That's why they want Oliver dead.
00:41:13No, my baby.
00:41:14No.
00:41:15No.
00:41:16My baby, no.
00:41:17So I called that guy I know at NBC.
00:41:18That's good.
00:41:19No, my baby, no.
00:41:20So I called that guy I know at NBC.
00:41:21That's good.
00:41:22And then I got to thinking, you know what I hate?
00:41:23No, my baby, no.
00:41:26So I called that guy I know at NBC.
00:41:28Good.
00:41:29Good.
00:41:30Good.
00:41:31Good.
00:41:32Good.
00:41:33Good.
00:41:34Good.
00:41:35Good.
00:41:36Good.
00:41:37Good.
00:41:38Good.
00:41:39Good.
00:41:40Good.
00:41:41Good.
00:41:42Good.
00:41:43Good.
00:41:44Good.
00:41:45Good.
00:41:46Good.
00:41:47Good.
00:41:48Good.
00:41:49Good.
00:41:50Good.
00:41:51Here we go again.
00:41:53I hate those lame action movies where the good guy calls just one person who ends up betraying him.
00:41:58Yeah, that's right up there with killing baby seals.
00:42:01I called ABC, CBS, The Post, The Times, the local news channel and the FBI.
00:42:09So, what do we do next?
00:42:12I figure we hang here and watch the news. Once the story goes public, maybe we'll be safe.
00:42:17Look, we finally went to sleep.
00:42:21Yeah, you just wait. The moment you close your eyes for a nap, you'll start screaming.
00:42:26You can't take a little pleasure in anything, can you? You just hate everything.
00:42:32I don't hate you.
00:42:34Is that why you picked me?
00:42:36You know why I picked you.
00:42:38You have no idea what you've done to me.
00:42:40We're gonna get out of this, trust me.
00:42:42You just don't get it.
00:42:44What?
00:42:47You bring me this child, so I can feed him.
00:42:51Take care of him.
00:42:53A baby that could be dead at any moment.
00:42:56And you never even think to ask me what happened to my own child.
00:43:05You're right.
00:43:08You're right.
00:43:09You're right.
00:43:10You're right.
00:43:13You're right.
00:43:14No.
00:43:16It's my fault.
00:43:17It's like what my mama always said.
00:43:20The worms don't have to dance with the trees.
00:43:23If I say I'm sorry, will you tell me what that means?
00:43:28Eggs have no business dancing with stones.
00:43:32Pina Smith, I figured out what you hate the most.
00:44:00Yourself.
00:44:06What happened to your baby?
00:44:08Forget about it.
00:44:10Tell me.
00:44:12My baby hit me in the stomach.
00:44:16My baby was delivered and still born.
00:44:24Get off of me!
00:44:28I like this, do you?
00:44:34I like this, do you?
00:44:48It's called a gun.
00:44:52Grip, slide, breech, barrel, trigger.
00:44:58Now this is the business end.
00:45:00You should never point this at anything you don't intend to kill.
00:45:06Now this is important, this is called your safety.
00:45:10You have to keep this on to make sure the gun doesn't go off accidentally.
00:45:14But really, this is your number one safety.
00:45:24Are you hungry?
00:45:26You are hungry?
00:45:36The personality is a thing.
00:45:38I'm hungry.
00:45:40I'm hungry.
00:45:42I'm hungry.
00:45:44I watch this youthful, peaceful night
00:46:10They drink, they scream just like a child
00:46:40Hey, hey, hey
00:46:50Oh, oh, oh
00:46:56Oh, oh, oh
00:46:58Oh, oh, oh
00:47:02Oh my god.
00:47:23Talk about shooting your lad.
00:47:35Look at this.
00:47:37This is a Hamilton night attack.
00:47:40These aren't supposed to hit the streets for six months.
00:47:44This is weird.
00:47:46All these guys have got it.
00:47:53Don't even tell me.
00:47:55You know how many of our men he's bloody bagged now.
00:47:58Why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?
00:48:02Doesn't it piss you off a little?
00:48:03Getting angry releases an enzyme.
00:48:06Cheptophan hydroxylase, which can temporarily reduce the IQ.
00:48:10That's something I can't afford to do right now.
00:48:12How do you know all that?
00:48:14My boy's hooked on the Discovery Channel.
00:48:16Take me west side.
00:48:18I need to report in.
00:48:19I got a bead on who our Mr. Hero is.
00:48:23No more arguments.
00:48:27I have to do this alone.
00:48:28And the only way I can do it is if I'm positive you two are okay.
00:48:32This is the only place I know you'll be safe.
00:48:36A tank?
00:48:37An M24 tank.
00:48:39You'll be safe from gunfire and most explosives.
00:48:41You're whacked.
00:48:42I am.
00:48:44I'm also serious.
00:48:46But nobody's allowed to get in it.
00:48:48Don't worry.
00:48:49When I create a diversion, you climb inside.
00:48:51You should have enough of that baby food to last you a couple of days.
00:48:55The, uh, pureed carrots are the best.
00:48:59Now you know how to use those, right?
00:49:02Yes, but what if you don't come back?
00:49:05That's not going to help.
00:49:07There is no way to be sure.
00:49:11Yes, there is.
00:49:12You're the star.
00:49:29My star.
00:49:30No.
00:49:34Stop whining.
00:49:35If you don't behave, I am going to spank you.
00:49:39Stop whining.
00:49:40Stop it.
00:49:42I hate it when parents hit their children.
00:49:44What go of my arm?
00:49:45Not until you stop hitting your kid.
00:49:46I will discipline my child as I see fit.
00:49:49How would you like it if I spanked you?
00:49:51Ow!
00:49:52Ow!
00:49:53See?
00:49:53Ow!
00:49:54Doesn't feel so good, does it?
00:49:56Ow!
00:49:57Ow!
00:49:58Ow!
00:49:58Help!
00:49:59Help!
00:50:00Ow!
00:50:01Ow!
00:50:01What the hell do you think you're doing?
00:50:06It's not funny.
00:50:07So what you got on this all-star ground powder?
00:50:27Well, anybody this good had to start out young.
00:50:29And it's usually because their pop was good at it, too.
00:50:33You know, like MacArthur's dad was a general.
00:50:35And Mickey Mantle's father played pro ball.
00:50:38My son is a video game whiz, and I wasn't too bad at pong myself.
00:50:43Just follow me, if you will, Mr. Henderson.
00:50:45In 67, the Limeys got hard ass on gun control.
00:50:49So a lot of Brit gunsmiths moved to the States.
00:50:52Now, I've got an inside man at immigration working on which of these guys had sons.
00:50:58And if any of the boys were crack shots.
00:51:00I think the pucker fact is getting to you.
00:51:03You got diddly!
00:51:07Yes, Duchess, you're a good girl.
00:51:09Sit.
00:51:11Yes.
00:51:12Now you treat.
00:51:13Now you get your treat.
00:51:13My man has been running the name down, and he recalls one of these gunsmith kids, actually.
00:51:21National sports pistol champion at age 10.
00:51:23Olympic, hopeful, recruited by the army.
00:51:28But after that, the kid has never heard from again.
00:51:31Well, that sounds like Black Ops got him, trained him.
00:51:34This leads me to a theory.
00:51:36Theory?
00:51:36Theory is bull-nookies.
00:51:39All you got is a man with no name.
00:51:42Riding into town on a pale horse, dispensing his own brand of justice.
00:52:12Hurtz, you know why people in this country love guns?
00:52:24And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo like cocking your gun.
00:52:29No, Hurtz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity where a poor man can become rich.
00:52:38And a pussy can become a tough guy if he's got a gun in his hand.
00:52:48I'm hoping you're not just a pussy with a gun in your hand.
00:52:52Oh, no, sir, no.
00:52:54No, I'm not.
00:52:55I'm a tough guy with a pussy in my hand.
00:52:59Hmm.
00:53:01I want you to give this guy and the kid a dirt nap.
00:53:09Yes, sir.
00:53:14Right away, sir.
00:53:15Don't worry.
00:53:22Daddy will be back soon.
00:53:23Hold it!
00:53:43Hold it!
00:53:47Well, well, well, Mr. Bunny, you just keep going, going, going, don't you?
00:53:51So do you.
00:53:53I promise to, uh, despair your life if you tell me where the woman and child are.
00:53:58Forget it.
00:54:09Oh, boy.
00:54:13Hey, who trains you?
00:54:15Hmm?
00:54:16NSA black ops?
00:54:17CIA?
00:54:18The Army?
00:54:20Well, whoever.
00:54:21It seems you haven't lost your aim, champ.
00:54:23You think that's good?
00:54:24You should see me spell my name in the snow.
00:54:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:54:29Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:54:30Hey, you know, my boss here thinks that you're the Lone Ranger or something.
00:54:35But I believe I have a better idea about who you are.
00:54:40I found out how your wife and son were killed.
00:54:43My God, what a tragedy.
00:54:45Some guy walks into a burger joint.
00:54:48He starts shooting up the place.
00:54:50Oh, my God, what a shame that your wife and son were there having their chicken nuggets.
00:54:57What's the matter?
00:55:05You don't like that story?
00:55:09Well, then why don't you tell me one, hmm?
00:55:12Children's story, please.
00:55:14Oh, I know.
00:55:15Tell me my favorite, yeah.
00:55:17Tell me the one about the baby.
00:55:18Maybe later, when I put you to sleep.
00:55:27Go, go!
00:55:28Go, go, go, go!
00:55:58Go, go, go, go!
00:56:28So what do you think of the Second Amendment now?
00:56:42Something!
00:56:44Okay, buddy.
00:56:46Drop your weapon.
00:56:46Think we got him?
00:57:16God damn it, Smith!
00:57:25So I found out who's trying to kill our baby.
00:57:28Who?
00:57:29A man named Hammerson.
00:57:31Born with a silver spoon up his ass.
00:57:33He inherited the Hammer Firearms Corporation from his old man
00:57:36and makes millions manufacturing weapons.
00:57:38Does this give you any new ideas about who needs Oliver's bone marrow?
00:57:43No.
00:57:44It's okay, little Oliver.
00:57:51Shit.
00:57:53It's him, Senator Rutledge.
00:57:56If he's elected president, he'll put Hammerson out of business.
00:57:59It makes sense, but how can you be sure?
00:58:02Mr. Gotu guy called his men of fine love babysitters.
00:58:05The Secret Service calls their agents who guard VIPs babysitters.
00:58:08It's him, Senator Rutledge.
00:58:10He's the guy that needs this baby.
00:58:12So we contact this man, and then we're safe.
00:58:15It's over.
00:58:16Are you crazy?
00:58:17This means that we've got Hammerson and the whole of the US government after us.
00:58:20I think you two have got to get out of town.
00:58:22Until I get the answers, you'll never be safe.
00:58:24They'll be watching the trains, the bus stations, and the airports.
00:58:27So I think this is the safest way to get out of town.
00:58:30I'm gonna check all of this out, and if everything's okay, I'll get you before you board the bus.
00:58:36But what if you don't get to us before we leave?
00:58:39Where should I get off?
00:58:42I think it's better if I don't know.
00:58:44What?
00:58:45Trust me.
00:58:46I can't know.
00:58:55Smith, do you really think this is gonna work?
00:58:57Just stick to the plan, and everything will be alright.
00:59:02Run!
00:59:27Sounds weird.
00:59:52Let's go.
01:00:22Let's go.
01:00:52Let's go.
01:01:22So much for wearing your seatbelt.
01:01:32What in the hell is that?
01:02:00Oh, my God, that is twisted.
01:02:05That sick son of a bitch.
01:02:08Oh, that sick son of a bitch suckered us again!
01:02:11It's time to go to the boy.
01:02:22Put me through to whoever's protecting Senator Rutledge.
01:02:25Just tell him there's a man with a baby calling.
01:02:29Hello, is this Smith?
01:02:34That was a nice job covering up your baby hatchery downtown.
01:02:38Not a word about it anywhere.
01:02:39Only you guys in Washington have that kind of pull.
01:02:42I'm telling you, we're on the same side.
01:02:45Now, listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
01:02:49I want to see the senator.
01:02:52All right.
01:02:53He wants to see you, too.
01:02:55He's leaving for North Carolina in the primaries in three days.
01:02:58You can fly with him.
01:03:00Runway seven, two hours.
01:03:02If I see anything, I don't lie.
01:03:04I'm blowing this big time.
01:03:07What were you doing in there?
01:03:09Cleaning my gun.
01:03:11Really?
01:03:12You know, we were never really trying to kill you.
01:03:14We only wanted to scare you into surrendering.
01:03:16Well, that's one way to explain why you can't shoot straight.
01:03:18In the latest polls, Senator Rutledge continues to be the Democratic frontrunner head into
01:03:20next week's season.
01:03:21No, I'm sorry.
01:03:22I'm sorry.
01:03:23I'm sorry.
01:03:24I'm sorry.
01:03:25I'm sorry.
01:03:26I'm sorry.
01:03:27I'm sorry.
01:03:28I'm sorry.
01:03:29I'm sorry.
01:03:30I'm sorry.
01:03:31I'm sorry.
01:03:32I'm sorry.
01:03:33I'm sorry.
01:03:34I'm sorry.
01:03:35I'm sorry.
01:03:36I'm sorry.
01:03:37I'm sorry.
01:03:38I'm sorry.
01:03:39I'm sorry.
01:03:40I'm sorry.
01:03:41I owe you my life.
01:03:48Well, this is where you get to do all those hookers.
01:03:53I heard about you.
01:03:54You look worse than you do on TV.
01:03:56Yes, it's amazing what a little makeup can do.
01:04:00And a lot of morphine.
01:04:05So, you've pieced the whole thing together.
01:04:10Very clever, Mr. Smith.
01:04:12Very clever.
01:04:13Simple.
01:04:14You're the Democratic frontrunner for President and your sweeping gun control proposals are pissing the wrong people off.
01:04:22Yes, well, if they're pissed now, wait until I'm elected President.
01:04:26We got so many goddamn gun lobbies out there that we're gonna have to set up just as many commissions.
01:04:31Then maybe we'll get our bill passed in the first year.
01:04:33Unfortunately, you're sick.
01:04:34Unfortunately, you're sick and the gun Nazis found out.
01:04:36They discovered your baby hatchery and boom, problem solved.
01:04:40They kill you by killing the babies.
01:04:42Correct.
01:04:43So, where's my savior?
01:04:52You know what I hate most?
01:04:53Elias.
01:04:54What the hell are you doing?
01:04:55You've made a deal with Hammerson.
01:04:56Hell, you're crazy.
01:04:57Am I?
01:04:58When you got into bed with him, you also let his dog up on the mattress.
01:05:01Looking at those dog hairs on your trousers, I'd say old Duchess took a liking to you.
01:05:04I don't know what you're talking about.
01:05:05Save the life for when you're in office, Rutledge.
01:05:07If he ever makes a death.
01:05:08You know what else I hate?
01:05:10Hypocrites.
01:05:11And you're the biggest one of all.
01:05:13Do you blame him for selling out?
01:05:16His operation to find the baby had been tits up from the get-go.
01:05:20You see, Rutledge called us and he offered us a proposition that we had never dreamed was possible.
01:05:27In exchange for his life, the senator promised to protect our right.
01:05:30To go deer hunting with an Uzi.
01:05:32Oh, come on, Smith.
01:05:33Come on.
01:05:34Guns don't kill people, but they sure help.
01:05:39Back off.
01:05:40Back off.
01:05:41Back off or I'll kill him, hopefully.
01:05:43I had to do it.
01:05:45I want to live.
01:05:46I am meant to be president.
01:05:48You've got what it takes.
01:05:49You put yourself before the people.
01:05:51I can still do good.
01:05:52In other areas.
01:05:53How are you gonna square it with the public?
01:05:55It is.
01:05:56It is a constitutional right.
01:05:57Back off!
01:05:58Get back!
01:05:59I've come around to their way of thinking.
01:06:01I'm around.
01:06:02They had you at hello.
01:06:03Let me give you a piece of advice.
01:06:06Never trust the people who stand to profit, plain and simple.
01:06:09They're the bad guys.
01:06:10Come on, Smith.
01:06:11Don't be a fool.
01:06:12The game is over.
01:06:13You rolled the dice.
01:06:14You lost.
01:06:15You lost.
01:06:16You lost.
01:06:17You lost.
01:06:18You lost.
01:06:19You lost.
01:06:20You lost.
01:06:21You lost.
01:06:22You lost.
01:06:23You lost.
01:06:24You lost.
01:06:25You lost.
01:06:26We got it.
01:06:27Let him go!
01:06:28Smith, there's no escape!
01:06:32Let him go, Smith. There's no escape.
01:06:46Maybe not for me, but there is for the woman and baby.
01:06:49If I kill Rutledge, no one will need to find them.
01:06:53They'll be saved.
01:06:55Your assassination, Rutledge, will create a public outrage
01:06:58and trigger immense support for your proposals.
01:07:01Your sympathy vote in the Congress
01:07:03will give your anti-gun bills passage by a landslide.
01:07:08Your legacy will live on.
01:07:11Don't do it!
01:07:13Then do it.
01:07:15Let me regain some honor.
01:07:17It's my...
01:07:21Son of a bitch.
01:07:26Son of a bitch!
01:07:31God damn it!
01:07:37It's criminal!
01:07:41It's supposed to be a hole.
01:07:44It's about it!
01:07:47It's about to be a hole.
01:07:49It's true.
01:07:51It's nothing to trust.
01:07:53It's supposed to be a hole.
01:07:55It's supposed to be a hole.
01:07:55It's supposed to be a hole.
01:07:56Okay.
01:08:26You
01:08:34Pikachu!
01:08:51You got it!
01:08:56You got it!
01:09:03Let's go.
01:09:06They're full.
01:09:09You got it!
01:09:12You got it!
01:09:18You got it!
01:09:23You got it!
01:09:26Don't move, Mr. Hero.
01:09:46Can't talk right now, honey.
01:09:48I'm right in the middle of something.
01:09:50Bye-bye.
01:09:56Don't you worry, Duchess.
01:10:18This ain't gonna happen to you.
01:10:21Not for a few years, anyway.
01:10:22Well, well, well, well, well.
01:10:26Well, somebody gets to be smart, and somebody gets to be dumb.
01:10:32Looks like you and I have finally traded places, huh, sport?
01:10:37Yes, indeed.
01:10:40The circle of life.
01:10:43The circle jerk of life.
01:10:46Oh, you have such a way with words.
01:10:48Well, I want you to tell me where the woman and the child are.
01:11:00Tell me, or I will be forced to cause you considerable agony.
01:11:05Believe me, nothing could be more painful than listening to you jammering on a lot.
01:11:10Well, again, I ask, where are the woman and the child?
01:11:22That's the last time you'll be doing that.
01:11:24It's your choice when the pain stops.
01:11:32Why are you doing this?
01:11:34It's over.
01:11:35It surely will be, yeah.
01:11:39No, I really should thank you.
01:11:41I just got a bigger contract because of you.
01:11:44I mean, I wasn't just on Hammerson's payroll, you know.
01:11:49What are you babbling on about now?
01:11:52Do you really think the people that employ me were just going to bend over and take your little stunt killing the senator?
01:11:58There's no way that you can cover up this whole thing.
01:12:01No.
01:12:02Haven't you heard the news?
01:12:03Hmm?
01:12:04The senator's plane crashed into the East River.
01:12:07They haven't been able to find the body of Senator Rutledge.
01:12:09So, you see, once I silence you and the woman, the cover-up will be complete.
01:12:13So, once again, I ask you, where are the woman and child?
01:12:18You know how I'll break your finger?
01:12:21My boy told me this when you'd punch me in the nose.
01:12:23I'd kick you in the ass.
01:12:26Very amusing.
01:12:28If I give that one, the old thumbs up!
01:12:33What if we don't get to us before we leave?
01:12:35Oh, I know your whole story.
01:12:37That man who went on the shooting spree in the restaurant.
01:12:41He visited the little gun shop that you inherited from your dad.
01:12:44Found out how your wife is.
01:12:45You sold him a pair of shotguns.
01:12:48You killed your own wife and boy.
01:12:51I'm not telling you a goddamn thing.
01:12:54No!
01:12:56Where are you, Steve?
01:13:00Well, well, well, well, well, well.
01:13:03Well, we're gonna need something a little more invasive.
01:13:07Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well
01:13:37The gun's just fucking great.
01:13:48Have a second.
01:14:07Hey, who's a hot shot now, huh?
01:14:37Oh, my God.
01:15:07Oh, yes, sirree, Bob. It certainly has been a pleasure.
01:15:12But before we part ways, tell me one thing.
01:15:17I am dead on about who you are, right?
01:15:21Say that again.
01:15:23I said I am dead...
01:15:25Stop!
01:15:26That part of it you got right.
01:15:37It's the wife.
01:16:01Oh, my honey.
01:16:07She's leaving me.
01:16:14You know what I really hate?
01:16:16You know what I really hate?
01:16:26What I really hate is a pussy with a gun in his hand.
01:16:34What I really hate is a pussy with a gun in his hand.
01:16:47Oh, my God.
01:16:52Oh, my God.
01:17:00Oh, my God.
01:17:31Senator Rutledge today.
01:17:32The FBI stated an anonymous tip.
01:18:01Don't worry, little boy.
01:18:05Mama will be watching you while she's working.
01:18:07Don't worry, little boy.
01:18:37Don't worry, little boy.
01:18:38Let's go.
01:18:39Don't worry, little boy.
01:18:40Let's go.
01:18:41Let's go.
01:18:42All right.
01:18:43This is a robbery.
01:18:44Empty the drawer element.
01:18:48Everyone else freeze.
01:18:49Don't, I'll fucking blow your head off.
01:18:52All right, this is a robbery.
01:18:58Empty the drawer of it.
01:19:00Everyone else freeze.
01:19:01Don't fucking blow your head off.
01:19:03He said freeze.
01:19:05That means don't even pucker your butthole.
01:19:07That's right.
01:19:08Don't pucker it.
01:19:09Nobody dies.
01:19:10So don't fucking move.
01:19:11I'm in a rush here.
01:19:12Come on.
01:19:13You know what I hate?
01:19:14Shut up and sit on this asshole.
01:19:16That's right.
01:19:17You heard him.
01:19:22You heard him.
01:19:52You heard him.
01:20:22You heard him.
01:20:52You heard him.
01:20:55You heard him.
01:20:58You heard him.
01:21:00You heard him.
01:21:02Oh
01:21:32Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:21:35Yeah.
01:21:36The King's got a homeowner might
01:21:38otherwise.
01:21:40Yeah.
01:21:42Blah.
01:21:43Stop talking.
01:21:47Stop talking.
01:21:49****
01:21:50****
01:21:53****
01:21:55****
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