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Modern Family's Haley Dunphy, Euphoria's Maddy Perez, Gossip Girl's Blair Waldorf and Clueless' Cher Horowitz are all characters who don't always get credit for their surprisingly deep understandin...
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00:00Modern Family's Haley Dunphy was seen in a rather negative light by those around her,
00:04as a beautiful but empty package.
00:07And okay, sure, she might not have been the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
00:10Who's our dumbest kid?
00:11Haley.
00:12Hello.
00:12Yeah, Haley.
00:13Teach Haley to use the remote and then I'll apologize.
00:16Haley?
00:17Mm-hmm.
00:18Come on!
00:19But over the course of the show, we got to see how her outlook on life
00:23actually helped not only her, but everyone around her.
00:26Not just a shallow airhead, Haley had a lot of tenacity and confidence,
00:30which helped her keep moving forward even when things didn't go her way.
00:34I'm not going anywhere!
00:37I'm not going anywhere, Mr. Gavin Sinclair.
00:41I'm not going anywhere.
00:43So let's take a closer look at how Haley was actually right about so many things.
00:48With great hotness comes great responsibility.
00:50There she is.
00:51Haley got pegged as flighty and unserious by her family because, unlike her smart girl
00:56sister Alex, Haley didn't have her entire life mapped out by the time she left elementary
01:01school.
01:02She wasn't always sure what she wanted to do with her life, and her interests mainly fell
01:06outside of academia.
01:07Saying nothing is not lying, okay?
01:10It's just letting the truth speak for itself.
01:12This is not the time for moral equivocation.
01:15Okay, I don't know what that means, and also don't tell me.
01:18Constantly being compared to Alex, her younger and seemingly perfect sister was grating.
01:24And though Haley was generally confident in herself, sometimes the constant reminder that
01:28she wasn't as high of an achiever did begin to wear her down.
01:32Kay?
01:33Who says Kay?
01:35You're so stupid!
01:36But in reality, it can be good to try out different things and not tie yourself down to
01:41one life path before you've even graduated high school.
01:44Who says we have to race into being adults?
01:47Why wouldn't you want to enjoy carefree life as long as you could?
01:50Even if things don't always work out, it gives you the opportunity to learn new things
01:54about yourself and unlock skills you didn't even know you had.
01:57It's a blog that I've been doing.
01:59I'm really liking my photography, and people always say that they like the way that I dress.
02:03I'm going to take a business class next semester, which I'm hoping will help me turn all of
02:06this into becoming a stylist.
02:07While Haley's road might be a little bumpier, it also gave her the ability to see how important
02:12it is to not let one setback totally derail you.
02:16She uses this knowledge to help out her little sister when the pressure of being perfect starts
02:21to cause her to crack.
02:22Haley knows how to give Alex the big push she actually needs to overcome major obstacles.
02:28Fine.
02:29Give your stupid speech.
02:30Be an outcast.
02:30But you're only doing it to yourself because you're smart and pretty and sort of funny in
02:34a way that I don't really get, but other people seem to enjoy it.
02:37And because her own life has been a little all over the place, she also understands how
02:42hard it can be to feel lost.
02:44So when Alex is breaking under the stress of having to jump into the next stage of her life
02:48without the guardrails of school to give her structure, again, it's Haley to the rescue,
02:53knowing just the right things to say.
02:55Your whole life you've always known exactly what you're supposed to do.
02:59Study, get good grades, repeat.
03:01Now that's over and it's scary.
03:03Because her belief in herself is such a big part of how she's able to keep floating and
03:07figuring out her life, she knows how important it is to help others in her life build up that
03:12confidence too.
03:13I know you would never admit it, but you're scared.
03:20It's not the worst thing to have your own personal cheerleader.
03:23Haley's go-with-the-flow, focus-on-what-makes-you-happy attitude might cause people around her to judge,
03:28but it also means that she often has a much more enjoyable time than others in her family.
03:34I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal?
03:36Okay.
03:37I'm 420% sure.
03:40Everyone compares her to Alex in this regard as well, who never stops to rest for a single
03:45moment of her life.
03:46And while Alex's intense drive does allow her to accomplish an incredible amount, as we
03:52discussed in our video on Alex, it also causes her a lot of problems.
03:56There is a 16-year-old science prodigy studying cancer research at Johns Hopkins!
04:00What am I doing?
04:01I'm eating cake!
04:02No, no, no!
04:03No!
04:04No!
04:05Haley finds that lowering the stress in her life allows her to focus on emotional connections
04:10and keeping an eye on everyone else.
04:13I have no problem drinking, but A, not with my parents.
04:16And plus also, I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was
04:20in no mood.
04:21Sometimes Haley is a little too lax, which can lead to some problems.
04:25And I couldn't pay to remove it because I just maxed out my credit card on these insanely
04:28expensive pair of sunglasses.
04:31I don't love them.
04:32But as she grows up, she comes to better understand how to balance responsibilities with not stressing
04:38yourself out and doing your own thing.
04:40Her life certainly isn't perfect, but because she's not afraid to take a step back, reassess,
04:44and take a different path, she's able to better roll with the punches when they do come.
04:49Like her step-grandmother Gloria, Haley is often discounted by others because of her
04:54looks, and because she cares about them.
04:56Ow!
04:57Ow!
04:59If it were easy, everyone would be hot.
05:01But there's nothing inherently wrong with enjoying clothes or makeup, and liking those
05:05kinds of things doesn't make you dumb.
05:07She does play up her queen bee personality at times, especially in the earlier seasons,
05:11including the focus on her looks.
05:13If it was easy, everyone would be popular.
05:16And this, combined with the fact that she isn't the most book-smart person,
05:20Four weeks!
05:21Four!
05:22Double it again and make it ten a week!
05:24leads to her being the butt of a lot of jokes.
05:27Her family also constantly makes fun of her for being easy.
05:31Everybody look like you're gardening.
05:32Luke, grab that little hoe.
05:34I don't think that's what she meant.
05:36Is it?
05:37But the reality is that she's just the only one with the emotional intelligence to understand
05:42human nature, and how to have relatively normal relationships.
05:46Understanding the social world is its own special skill, as the family comes to learn
05:51repeatedly.
05:52And that is the arena in which Haley excels.
05:54She understands how to read people, and how to come out on top in social situations.
05:59And while everyone putting her down all of the time does cause her to doubt herself on
06:02occasion, she understands on a deeper level that other people's ideas about her don't
06:07get to decide her worth.
06:09Haley, where are you going?
06:10Oh, I was offered a fellowship to the bathroom, and I'm accepting it.
06:14She also uses her special skills to help out her family as well.
06:17Oh, I know Mackenzie.
06:19I am Mackenzie.
06:20I invented Mackenzie.
06:21And the way she's making my sister run around?
06:25It's kind of funny, but I can't have it.
06:28It's bad for the family.
06:29Her skill set proves to have real practical applications, too, from helping her come up
06:33with a great promotional idea, to running her blog and beyond.
06:36Someone just bought your photo of this beautiful lady.
06:39First one sold.
06:40Someone paid for something that I made!
06:43Me!
06:43While the rest of her family have pretty set ideas about the right and wrong ways to do
06:48things, Haley is more comfortable with taking risks and seeing what the world has to offer.
06:53And this mindset also helps her come to appreciate the differences between herself and those around
06:58her.
06:58Instead of seeing them as insurmountable gaps, she and Alex are polar opposites, which leads
07:04to them constantly butting heads.
07:05You know this would happen, you idiots!
07:07Hey, hey, let's try to get along!
07:09I wish you was never even born!
07:11They were trying to make one with a brain!
07:14No!
07:14And because they're on opposite ends of the stereotypical 2000s smart girl, hot girl spectrum,
07:20they at first see themselves as having nothing in common.
07:23Born 1986, went to college at a place called MIT.
07:26MIT.
07:27I know how to spell it.
07:28But over time, through a lot of emotional work on big sister Haley's part in particular,
07:32they begin to realize that they do fit together.
07:34The fact that they're opposites means that they're great at helping the other in the
07:38areas where they feel lacking.
07:40Haley, for example, helps Alex learn how to better fit into teen girl world.
07:44And when it begins working, she's not jealous, she's proud.
07:48I got this.
07:49Who's this?
07:50Brilliant.
07:52No, I didn't see it.
07:53I get a lot of texts.
07:55I have a sister!
07:56They continue to butt heads, as siblings are wont to do, but they come to appreciate
08:01each other on a new level.
08:03Don't dork up our room.
08:04Don't slut up your college.
08:08And though they'll always still have little barbs for one another, they also come to realize
08:13how crucial their bond is, and how important it is to have someone you love in your corner
08:18as you grow and evolve.
08:19You're obviously going to get into one of those snooty schools, and sometimes you're
08:23going to come in second, or fourth, but you're going to dust yourself off, maybe put on some
08:28lipstick for once, and keep going.
08:30As we talked about in our video on Hailey's disappointing ending, Modern Family really
08:34let her down as a character in its final seasons.
08:37The show undid so much of her growth, and threw her evolution off course to shoehorn her into
08:42a plotline that could have worked if it didn't require her to essentially backslide on all
08:47of her personal gains.
08:48But even with that, Hailey still gave us so many positive lessons over the show's 11 seasons,
08:54and she remained relatable and hilarious till the end.
08:57I think mama's done breastfeeding.
08:58These babies are online again, and I'm ready to fill them up with wine.
09:01Hailey is proof of how important it is to not let your view of yourself become clouded by what
09:06other people say about you, and to instead keep working to figure out what you want out
09:11of your life.
09:12You know what I'm pretty sure is ironic?
09:13You guys spend all this time worrying about what I'm going to do, and maybe you should
09:18start thinking about what you're going to do.
09:20Euphoria's Maddie Perez is the ultra-confident queen bee of Euphoria High, and for two seasons,
09:25the universe seemingly continually tries to destroy her sense of self.
09:28But Maddie has no problem fighting back against anyone or anything that tries to shake her confidence.
09:3490% of life is confidence.
09:36The thing about confidence is no one knows if it's real or not.
09:39Her story is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and we can learn a surprising
09:43amount about staying true to yourself and not letting the hard times derail you from
09:48her refusal to give up.
09:49So let's take a look back at Maddie's outlook on life, loyalty, and confidence, and how in
09:54the end, she was so right about pretty much everything.
09:57Maddie's self-assured nature is one of her defining traits.
10:00She took the time to build up her sense of confidence in herself so that no matter what
10:04happened, she had a strong core identity to hold her up.
10:07I had never seen anyone as sure of themselves as her.
10:10This can be particularly hard to do as a young person, when so much about you and the world
10:15around you seems to be changing nearly every day.
10:19But her fake-it-till-you-make-it outlook on life allowed her to build up a shell around
10:23herself.
10:23Not to keep people out, but to serve as a buffer from the harshness of the world.
10:27I feel stupid.
10:29What?
10:29Everyone feels stupid.
10:31Who cares?
10:32You feel stupid?
10:33Yeah, I did.
10:34And then I just chose not to feel stupid.
10:36That doesn't mean that she never feels unconfident.
10:39Just like everyone else, she has times where she feels overwhelmed and gets down on herself.
10:43I don't know if I can help it.
10:48I wish you could see yourself the way the rest of the world does.
10:51But Maddie works hard to keep herself from leaning into those emotions too much and letting
10:57them take over her life and thoughts.
10:59She gives herself time to feel her emotions, but she's always fighting through the darkness.
11:04As hard as it might be, whenever she gets knocked down, she always finds a way to pull
11:08herself back up again.
11:10And that's because no matter what life throws her way, deep down, she knows who she is and
11:15what she's about.
11:15And that secure sense of self allows her to hold on to her confidence and act out the
11:20idea of the person she wants to be, even when she isn't feeling 100%.
11:25You didn't have to be the prettiest, or the tallest, or the blondest, or the whitest.
11:31You just had to have f***ing confidence.
11:33When she's trying on Samantha's dresses, Judy Garland's Come Rain or Shine is playing.
11:37And we hear,
11:38I'm gonna love you.
11:40As Maddie is looking at herself in the mirror.
11:43Her story is about truly learning to love herself.
11:46To really feel that self-confidence and love deep down to the same degree that she projects
11:51it out into the world.
11:53Because there is a difference between projecting confidence and being truly confident.
11:57Maddie's got the former on lock, but it's the latter that she's working on over the
12:01course of the series.
12:02And that's totally normal.
12:03She's a teen figuring herself out, while dealing with some pretty wild things on top of the
12:08regular high school drama.
12:09But Maddie's biggest lesson isn't that you need to be perfectly confident all the
12:13time.
12:14It's just that you've gotta love yourself enough to never let life knock you down.
12:18And a big part of that is never being afraid to stand up for yourself.
12:23Maddie refuses to take s*** from anyone.
12:26Whenever someone disrespects her, she's always ready to snap them back in line.
12:30If anyone crossed her, she'd bury them.
12:33This isn't your run-of-the-mill, queen bee mean girl bullying in an effort to exert control
12:37over the school, though.
12:38Maddie has legit reasons for her anger.
12:40From trash racists at school, to general disrespect from people around her.
12:44Sorry to hear you, b***h.
12:46What?
12:47Maddie knows that she's worthy of respect, and so she expects to get it.
12:51And she isn't afraid to get her hands dirty to remind people to watch how they treat her.
12:55See, I'm not a mess, but I do love a fight.
12:57Ugh, it's the best.
12:59Totally underrated.
13:00While she sometimes can come across as kind of mean and abrasive, it's really just part
13:04of that protective shell she created to save her soft inner self from getting too hurt.
13:09Having to constantly stand up for yourself in a world that continually works to put you
13:13down, or make you feel small, is exhausting.
13:17So it's not surprising that her reaction to that isn't always the nicest.
13:21While the world tells young women, especially young women of color like Maddie, that they
13:25should just settle for whatever treatment they get because at least they're getting attention,
13:29Maddie knows she deserves more.
13:31This attitude also means that she's not afraid to be honest with her friends.
13:35Whereas other people might try to soften the truth, she's not afraid to speak her mind.
13:39Kat, what the f*** is your problem?
13:42You're being a bad friend now.
13:43You are a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable.
13:47And she's also willing to be the one to tell her friends the hard truths, because she knows
13:52she's coming from a place of love.
13:53But it's not like I cheated, cheated.
13:55Kissing is worse.
13:57It's so much more intimate.
13:58She doesn't want to see them get hurt, or mess up their own lives, or just generally
14:02do anything that might end up being destructive to themselves.
14:06And so she lets them know straight up.
14:08Then why the f*** do you look like you're auditioning for Oklahoma?
14:10To what?
14:11Yes.
14:11I don't understand.
14:12If you're not auditioning for Oklahoma, then why do you look like that?
14:15Like what?
14:15Like a country music star.
14:17In a good way or a bad way?
14:18Bitch, you better be joking.
14:20Hearing the truth can be hard.
14:22But it's also incredibly important to have someone in your life that cares about you
14:26enough to try to snap you back to reality.
14:28And Maddie being willing to be real with her friends does help them accept things they were
14:33trying to avoid or just walk in their own truth.
14:36Usually.
14:37Maddie cherishes her friendships.
14:39And once someone is in her inner circle, she's got their back in a real way.
14:43Loyalty is incredibly important for her.
14:45But it isn't a one-way street where she expects everyone to be devoted to her,
14:49while she does whatever she wants, like with most on-screen queen bees.
14:53She talks the talk and walks the walk, and is always ready to defend her loved ones and
14:57to accept them for who they are.
14:59I've never not gone through someone's phone.
15:01Bitch, you're my soulmate.
15:03And this is why, even though she can come across as a little tough with her love,
15:07all of her friends feel safe and comfortable opening up to her.
15:10They know she's a loyal friend and won't look down on them or make fun of them for
15:14their feelings.
15:15And if she does give them flack for it, it's for a good reason.
15:18Having this kind of open relationship, where friends feel safe being sounding boards for
15:22one another, and don't feel like they have to hide their true feelings or soften them
15:26to make them more palatable, allows for much deeper connections.
15:30And it means that everyone feels that, even when they do feel the need to hide something
15:34from the rest of the world, they can share it with Maddie.
15:37She genuinely cares about what's going on in her friends' lives, and is always willing
15:41to lend an ear.
15:42What's wrong?
15:45I, like, can't fucking stand Ethan.
15:50I was wondering.
15:51Because Maddie is so loyal, she, of course, expects that same loyalty in return.
15:56And most of the time, her friends are just as committed to her as she is to them.
16:01Maddie being super trusting of the people in her inner circle allows her to have those
16:05close, loving friendships, but it also means she's blindsided when someone has the gall
16:10to betray her.
16:11Oh, you're crying?
16:12No.
16:12You're fucking crying, you fucking bitch!
16:15You're the one who's hurt?
16:16In the dissolution of her relationship with Cassie, we can see what happens when someone
16:19takes advantage of that loyalty.
16:21Maddie had, on some level, begun to suspect that something was up when Cassie, who...
16:26He always answered.
16:28...stops answering FaceTimes.
16:29At the same times, Maddie is unable to get a hold of Nate, but because she trusts that
16:34her friends are just as loyal as she is, she can't really imagine that someone would
16:38betray her on that level.
16:40But it turns out that sneaking suspicion was right.
16:44You expect me to stand here next to my best friend who's been lying to me about fucking
16:47my ex-boyfriend?
16:49I'm...
16:49Okay.
16:50Literally gonna get violent.
16:51Maddie is distraught that her best friend would not only hook up with her ex-boyfriend,
16:55but especially one who treated her so terribly.
16:57I'm sick of it.
16:59You put me through hell and now he's with my fucking best friend?
17:02Like, I would have never done this to you.
17:05It shakes her to her core that this bond with her best friend that she thought was unbreakable
17:09was something Cassie was so willing to just throw away for attention from some guy.
17:14Maddie wasn't just angry about Nate and Cassie.
17:17She was also depressed and heartbroken.
17:20It would have been easy to let this totally reshape her mindset and alter the way she formed
17:24relationships going forward into adulthood.
17:26Never really trusting anyone, never fully opening up.
17:30All the times that Cassie consoled her, comforted her, pretended to be there for her, none of
17:36it was real.
17:37It was all an illusion.
17:38But Maddie realizes that she doesn't want to live life that way.
17:42This one relationship blowing up was heartbreaking.
17:45But she knows deep down that her loyal nature is a good thing, and that the only way to survive
17:50this betrayal is to move forward and not let it derail her whole life.
17:55One of the biggest lessons Maddie herself had to learn over the course of the show is that
17:59sometimes you just have to walk away from a bad situation.
18:03When you're someone who is so used to fighting for yourself and what you believe in, it can
18:07be incredibly difficult to accept that letting go is the right answer.
18:10But sometimes it's the only way you can protect yourself.
18:13For a long time, Maddie put a lot of stock into being part of a power couple, and having
18:17what felt like control over a powerful guy.
18:20Just like her idol Ginger from Casino.
18:22The cool thing about Sharon Stone in Casino is that she ran the f*** over De Niro.
18:26I would f***ing kill for that coat.
18:29And she did the same to Nate.
18:30But, like Ginger, Maddie comes to realize that being with that kind of guy isn't as shiny
18:35and happy as it might seem from the outside.
18:37Thankfully, Maddie learned this lesson pretty quickly, while she was still just a teen.
18:41And though it was difficult to stand up to him and walk away, she realized it was the
18:45only way she could move forward in life.
18:47Out of sight, out of mind.
18:49That doesn't mean it was easy.
18:51Her relationship with Nate harmed her on a deep psychological and occasionally physical
18:55level.
18:56And scars like that don't just disappear overnight.
18:58I think Nate really f***ed me up.
19:01Being trapped in that kind of relationship for such a big chunk of her formative years
19:05warped how she saw romantic relationships and herself.
19:08I'll never find that kind of laugh.
19:10There's just no darkness.
19:13It's just sweet.
19:14I don't know if that would ever be enough for me.
19:17It may at first feel odd that hyper-confident Maddie was the one the show locked into this
19:21relationship, but it is actually true to life.
19:24Some people get the idea that abusive relationships just don't happen to people like Maddie.
19:29That getting into one is indicative of some kind of personal failure to stand up for yourself.
19:34But the reality is that it can happen to anyone.
19:37And in fact, the fact that someone is usually so able to stand up for themselves can actually
19:43help them convince themselves that the relationship isn't so bad.
19:46Because if it was really that bad, they would just leave and not put up with someone treating
19:52them that way.
19:53Maddie falls into this trap herself, constantly convincing herself that she can handle it.
19:57And that it's not that bad, because she feels like she has some level of control over him too.
20:02But in the end, she realizes that there is no salvaging that relationship.
20:07And that that is absolutely for the best.
20:10All of the drama Maddie has to deal with over the course of Euphoria's two seasons would
20:13be enough to snuff out the spark in anyone.
20:16But Maddie's core belief in herself and her worth helps her keep going.
20:20She did begin to falter when everything really started falling apart.
20:24But thankfully, Samantha was there to remind her just how huge the world really is, and
20:28how much more she has to discover about it and herself beyond what she's experienced
20:33in high school.
20:34I just don't think my brain is wired that way.
20:37If you were still dating guys like this in your 40s, you'd be having a very different
20:41conversation.
20:41But you're 18 years old.
20:43It gives a shit.
20:44Maddie's entire life has been about building herself up into the person she wanted to be,
20:48and going after the future she desired for herself.
20:52She wasn't just born at the top, she clawed her way up there.
20:55She knows that to get what you want, you have to just take control and not be afraid to shake
21:01things up and go out into the unknown, even if it's scary.
21:05You just feel bad.
21:07Bad enough to stay in this island for the rest of your life?
21:10No.
21:11Maddie realizes that she and her future are way more important than any of the drama bringing
21:16her down, and so refuses to let it all make her give up on her dreams or harden herself
21:21to the world.
21:22Sometimes, making the life you want for yourself does mean starting over, but that doesn't
21:27have to be a bad thing.
21:28It's so weird to think that, like, no matter what happens, the universe is just out here
21:35giving, like, zero f***s.
21:38It might be surprising to think that we could learn so much from a teenager, but even in
21:42just the short amount of time we got to know her on screen, Maddie went through and overcame
21:46so much.
21:48And her story exemplifies how crucial building up a strong core belief in yourself and your
21:52worth really is to being able to grow as a person.
21:56This s*** is hard and confusing.
21:58The last thing you need is to feel worse because you're not feeling something you're supposed
22:02to feel.
22:03You do what feels good to you.
22:05Life definitely doesn't stop being hard and confusing when she graduate high school.
22:09And so Maddie's life lessons are something that can continue to inspire us.
22:13On first impression, Clueless seems to be about a girl who gets everything wrong.
22:18Impossibly glamorous high school matchmaker Cher Horowitz is based on Jane Austen's character
22:23Emma.
22:23And the two characters share an arc that is pretty much the same, with a few 90s-ready
22:28updates.
22:29The writers add to the character of Emma, making Cher appear to fit into the dumb blonde
22:33archetype, not very bright and obsessed with aesthetics, status, and boyfriends.
22:38But when we take a closer look at the movie, we can clearly see that although she's based
22:42on a character notorious for messing stuff up, and definitely doesn't get everything right
22:47herself, Cher is actually pretty astute about a lot of things.
22:50Here's our take on how Cher Horowitz was right about almost everything.
22:55Despite people thinking she's a dumb blonde, Cher is pretty shrewd.
22:59Some of this comes from having a cynical father.
23:01He's a lawyer, and she's very close to him.
23:04So it's likely that she grew up listening to him arguing cases and picking up a few pointers
23:08over the years.
23:09Some of the things she says are lifted straight from him, and it's clear that she's tenacious
23:14as a result of his tutelage.
23:15Well, some teachers were trying to lowball me, Daddy.
23:18And I know how you say never accept a first offer, so I figure these grades are just a
23:22jumping-off point to start negotiations.
23:25Very good.
23:26She knows that confidence goes a really long way, and she can manipulate situations purely
23:31based on the feeling that she's entitled to more.
23:33You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C-plus to an A-minus?
23:39Are you proud?
23:40Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
23:44Characters that get slotted into the dumb blonde archetype so often got stuck with essentially
23:49zero agency, but Cher was always totally willing to stand up for herself and go after what she
23:55wanted.
23:55She's also conscious of the dynamics at play in high school.
23:59For example, although she loves her best friend Dion, she understands that their friendship
24:03is a powerful coalition, which isn't only forged out of positive similarities.
24:07Here's where Dion lives.
24:10She's my friend because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us.
24:13They're much more powerful as an iconic duo than either would be alone, and thankfully
24:18they don't use their powers for evil, but instead for fun.
24:22While the other girls in the movie get caught up on their classmates, Cher has pretty good
24:26insight into the way teenage boys' minds work, perhaps because of watching the way her older
24:31ex-stepbrother Josh behaves.
24:33Dion's going out with a high school boy.
24:35She sees through all of their bravado to the deeper truth that a lot of the boys of her
24:47own age act badly because ultimately they're anxious about their relationships, their status
24:52at school, even their looks.
24:54And she knows not to expect too much from high school boys too.
24:57While she doesn't always understand their motives, she does get that because of social
25:02conditioning, boys don't necessarily work the same way as girls do.
25:05Like for example when she acknowledges that Christian operates on a different time scale
25:10to her.
25:11Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.
25:14So okay, you're probably going, is this like an Oxima commercial or what?
25:18Although Emma, the character Cher is based on, notably lacks a lot of self-awareness,
25:23modern update Cher fares a bit better.
25:25She knows that she occupies a position of privilege, and she gets how lucky she is.
25:30But she doesn't see why everyone can't enjoy the same benefits she does.
25:34So in her own way, she tries to share her powers with those around her, to differing degrees
25:39of success.
25:40She shares her social kudos with Tai, knowing that associating with popular girls will go
25:44far at school.
25:45The fact that you hang with D and I well speaks very highly of you.
25:49Another major way she tries to spread social cachet is through matchmaking, being aware
25:53that linking powerful social players to those with less power can boost the less powerful
25:58person's profile.
25:59Like who?
26:00Let's see.
26:01Who's available?
26:02There's Bronson.
26:03Grant.
26:04I got it.
26:05Elton.
26:06Who's Elton?
26:07Oh my god, he's way popular.
26:08He's like the social director of the crew.
26:10Yeah, his dad can get you into any concert, and I noticed him scoping you out.
26:14And Cher also tries to share the wealth.
26:17Literally.
26:18Cher, what are you doing?
26:19I'm captain of the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief.
26:21I don't think they need your skis.
26:23Daddy, some people lost all their belongings.
26:25Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?
26:28These moments are often played for laughs because she oversimplifies complex situations.
26:32But a lot of her criticism of the way the world works is actually pretty on point, and
26:37still feels super relevant today, years after Cher made her on-screen debut.
26:42Take this scene when she talks about the Haitian refugee crisis.
26:45Cher makes sense of it through the lens of her extremely privileged Beverly Hills upbringing,
26:50likening it to a garden party she held for her dad's birthday.
26:52I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings.
26:58But by the end of the day, it was like, the more the merrier.
27:01The contrast between the two scenarios of a humanitarian crisis and a garden party at
27:06first makes Cher seem totally airheaded.
27:09But actually translating wider issues into ones that are more relatable to your audience
27:12is an effective way to get people to connect with things they might otherwise see as having
27:16nothing to do with them.
27:18And her conclusion is one of kindness, encouraging her peers, who come from similarly wealthy families,
27:23to Cher resources.
27:25And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.
27:32Cher's matchmaking operation begins because she realizes two of her teachers, who keep giving
27:37her grades lower than she thinks she deserves, are secretly lonely.
27:41He's a miserable little man who wants to make everyone else miserable too.
27:44Dee, that's it!
27:46We've got to figure out a way to make Mr. Hall sublimely happy.
27:50So she sets about hooking them up.
27:52What that man needs is a good, healthy boy-fest.
27:56She also works out which path to take with different teachers when she's negotiating her
27:59grades with them as well, based on how she thinks she'll be received.
28:03And she ends up finding a lot of success.
28:06I told my P.E. teacher an evil male had broken my heart, so she raised my C to a B.
28:11We see multiple instances of Cher reading people's needs throughout the movie,
28:16and doing her best to act in the best interests of other people.
28:19Yeah, you know what would be so dope?
28:21If we got some really delicious takeout.
28:23I bet they haven't eaten all night.
28:25Perhaps this is because after her mom passed away, while Cher was still just a baby,
28:29Cher stepped into the so-called woman-of-the-house role from a young age,
28:33and so felt the need to look after those in her family.
28:36And this particularly extends to looking after her dad.
28:38What is this crap?
28:39Daddy, it's from the Cut Your Cholesterol Cookbook.
28:42Dr. Love, it says you've got to get down to 200.
28:45The way she takes care of the people around her isn't necessarily intuitive.
28:49She's actually watching and listening to them,
28:52and trying to meet their needs as a result.
28:54Dee, when your allergies act, not take out your nose right.
28:57And linked to this ability to read the needs of other people is the fact that Cher knows
29:01that meeting those needs feels good for her, too.
29:05Which is a good lesson for all of us.
29:06Being kind is good for the soul.
29:08I had to give myself snaps for all the good deeds I was doing.
29:12It was so great.
29:13She doesn't always get everything right.
29:16She eventually realizes that pushing Ty to be someone she isn't wasn't the right move.
29:21But her choices always come from a place of trying to do what she thinks is the right thing.
29:25I am just not interested in doing it until I find the right person.
29:28You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.
29:33Cher's virginity is something that's highlighted by other characters as a flaw.
29:36You're a virgin who can't drive.
29:39That was way harsh, Ty.
29:41And in high school, being a virgin can feel like an all-encompassing problem.
29:46The PC term is hymenally challenged.
29:49But despite this, Cher isn't worried about her virginity.
29:52In fact, when it comes to her own love life, Cher is cautious and willing to take her time
29:57with everything, which means she often doesn't get as easily hurt as some of her friends.
30:02We get an interesting insight into how her mind works when she does try to lose her virginity.
30:07She opts for Christian, a guy who is, to the audience, at least pretty obviously gay.
30:12Let's watch the movies.
30:13Oh, okay.
30:15Christian had a thing for Tony Curtis, so he brought over Some Like It Hot and Sporaticus.
30:20This is an interesting moment of seemingly unintentional self-sabotage.
30:25Cher is attractive and popular, and we know from earlier in the movie that she'd have no
30:28problem hooking up with, for example, Elton.
30:31But she chooses someone who she feels is more on her wavelength, who she likes as a friend.
30:37And she stays true to herself.
30:38Although she's experiencing external pressure to lose her virginity, she just isn't attracted
30:42to the average high school guy.
30:45And she isn't going to force the issue.
30:47Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly
30:52Shore movie.
30:53It can be super tough to stay chill and rational when people around you are experiencing things
30:59you'd like to have.
31:00But Cher stays cognizant that when other people experience happiness, it doesn't take anything
31:05away from her.
31:06Even though I was alone, I was really happy for Ty.
31:09It's like that book I read in ninth grade that said,
31:12"'Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people."
31:17And that way of thinking extends beyond just her friendships to the way she thinks about
31:21global issues.
31:22For example, in that scene where she talks about Haiti, she says,
31:25"'And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things,
31:29we could certainly party with the Hathians.'"
31:31The only time she steps out of this positive mindset is when her burgeoning feelings for
31:35Josh are threatened by Ty's feelings for him.
31:38But after a week of soul searching, she apologizes to Ty.
31:41"'No, I have been going down a shame spiral.
31:44I cannot even believe I was so in support of your feelings for Josh.'"
31:48This is a really brave moment, which shows us how pointless being jealous or trying to
31:52control other people's feelings actually is.
31:55Here, Cher shows us that we don't need to jealously guard what we have,
31:59because what's for us won't go by us.
32:03Cher Horowitz is often wrongly remembered as an airhead,
32:06but actually she gives us some really smart and important lessons,
32:10from taking care of other people to not getting too hung up on boys at school.
32:13She was even right about how fun a night in can be.
32:16"'I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out
32:20than when I go partying.
32:22Maybe because my party clothes are so binding.'"
32:24But the most key lessons she gives us are that you should always come from a place of kindness,
32:29because not only does it benefit other people, but it makes your own life happier too.
32:34You should be willing to say sorry if you hurt someone.
32:36And most importantly, you should learn from your mistakes, and make changes so you can do better moving forward.
32:46And when you do that, the karmic retributions can be pretty great.
32:51Gossip Girl's Blair Waldorf is an iconic Queen of Mean and the Upper East Side.
32:55In her quest for power and control, she definitely made a lot of mistakes, but she actually got a lot more right than she gets credit for,
33:06both in her understanding of how her world really works, and in the way she had to learn to grow as a person.
33:12So let's take a look back at Blair's outlook on life and relationships, how she changed or didn't, and the most important lessons she can teach us.
33:22"- Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here."
33:25Blair Waldorf isn't content with just being powerful. She wants to be on top at all times.
33:32Growing up in Serena's shadow and under the thumb of her judgmental mother, Blair came to have a very shrewd understanding of what her world rewards.
33:40She understands that, no matter how hard she tries, she'll never be an effortless it-girl like Serena,
33:46beguiling people with her shiny hair and mysterious need to always be somewhere else.
33:52"- Actually, um, there's somewhere I have to go."
33:54And so she instead set her sights on gaining power through the things she can stake out influence in, like grades and fashion.
34:01"- Are those last season's Troy Bush flats? I... got them on sale?"
34:07With the help of her minions, who she keeps on a tight leash, she always knows what's going on,
34:12and is able to find ways to flip situations to her advantage.
34:16And she's not afraid to be very ruthless in pursuit of her goals.
34:20"- You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you."
34:23She's able to take a step back and look at the larger picture,
34:27to pull together a deeper understanding of the predicaments that befall her,
34:30to make sure that, in the end, she wins no matter what.
34:34"- Leave it to Blair Waldorf to know that bitches don't just happen, they're made, by parents even more wicked than their offspring."
34:42She also struggles to rule over her romantic relationships, first trying to force herself and Nate to be the ultimate high school power couple,
34:49no matter how unhappy they both were, then going on to get stuck in a never-ending back and forth with Chuck.
34:56"- This means war, Blair."
34:57"- Chuck.
34:58"- Me versus you. No limits."
35:01Of course, her biggest battle for power is with frenemy Serena.
35:04We first meet the pair after Serena has disappeared for an entire school year,
35:09and Blair took the spot of Queen Bee in the resulting power vacuum.
35:12Upon Serena's return, Blair is clearly aware that her time on top is under threat,
35:17and so works harder and harder to try to hold her ground.
35:20"- I-I get it. I-I don't want to take any of that away from you, I-
35:23"- Because it's just yours to take if you want it."
35:26"- No, that-that's not what I mean, I-"
35:27But in this battle, we can also get our first insight into what really drives Blair,
35:32her deep sadness and insecurity.
35:35Sure, she's mad at Serena for coming back and stealing the spotlight yet again,
35:39but she's really upset at the fact that her best friend disappeared without a trace for a whole year,
35:45without even letting her know what was up.
35:48"- Do you know how it felt calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say,
35:52Serena didn't tell you that she moved to Connecticut?"
35:56And over the course of the show, we continually see how Blair has a hard time coming to terms
36:01with how hard she has to work to feel like she has control over her life,
36:06while it seems like everything comes so easily to Serena.
36:10"- How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?"
36:12"- Because I'm nice. You should try it sometime."
36:14Because she doesn't have the easy influence of Serena,
36:17she instead feels the need to rule with an iron fist.
36:21"- You need to be cold to be queen.
36:23Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off."
36:26While she's technically not wrong about this being an effective means to garner power over the others
36:31around her, it also means that her rule is very tenuous.
36:35Everyone's always looking for any reason to knock her down a peg.
36:39"- You're being a bitch is what got dairy in your hair in the first place, okay?
36:41Be nice and neutral and things just swing back to normal.
36:45You're the queen bee, so just let nature take its course."
36:47And even she often feels crushed under the weight of her own persona,
36:51even if she tries to deny it.
36:52But, Blair's struggle for power with Serena is so particularly interesting,
36:57because it's also one of the biggest parts of her life where she is at times able to truly let go,
37:03and accept not being number one.
37:05No matter how much they fought and schemed against one another,
37:08at the end of the day they had a deeper connection that was more important than silly social power.
37:13And even Blair learned to put her need for dominance aside and focus on being a friend.
37:19And this is all part of one of the most important lessons Blair learned over the course of her story.
37:24Even though Blair was incredibly rich and at the top of the social strata of the Upper East Side,
37:29she constantly felt like her life was slipping out of her control.
37:33So much of her life had been plotted out and molded by other people who did not have her best interest at heart.
37:39My mother just decides everything, you know? Everything in the world is just totally up to her.
37:46And so, in every aspect of her life that she could,
37:48she sought out any way to at least feel like she had control over her situation and the things that were happening to her.
37:55This played out in a number of self-destructive ways, including her disordered eating,
38:00which was born out of her mother's quiet cruelty.
38:02You will never be more beautiful or thin or happy than you are right now.
38:07I guess I have time to change.
38:09And put some product in your hair, the ends are dry.
38:12And because food was one of the few things that she felt she could always control.
38:16In addition to her mother's treatment, Blair feeling abandoned by her father led to her feeling completely unmoored.
38:23My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model.
38:27I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to.
38:31This made her take an even tighter grip on everyone who was still in her life,
38:35but usually led to her trying to control them in an effort to make sure that they could never leave her.
38:41I just wanted to do something nice.
38:43Is that so hard to believe?
38:44Yeah, pretty much.
38:45Over time, Blair honed her need for control into a finely tuned weapon.
38:50You're Blair Waldorf.
38:51Punishment is your middle name.
38:54But the real thing she eventually got right was learning when to use this power and when to relinquish control.
39:00Her ability to scheme and run into battle against anyone certainly helped her and her friends get out of several sticky situations.
39:08But the fact that it was a compulsion for her meant that it also caused her a lot of grief.
39:13And so, over time, she came to better understand that even she, Queen Bee Blair, can't control every single thing in the entire world.
39:21And that's okay.
39:23Here's my advice.
39:24Have a little faith, and if that doesn't work, a lot of mimosas.
39:28And it's through this growth that she's able to begin finding real moments of happiness and connection with those around her.
39:34Blair is, of course, capable of being vicious to anyone, even those closest to her.
39:40But underneath the mean shell she uses as armor is a very loyal, caring person.
39:46She doesn't always show that side of herself in the best ways, especially since it often presents as an effort to control the people she cares about because she thinks she knows what's best for everyone.
39:56Serena is so grateful because she likes to see the best in people.
40:01I like to see the truth.
40:04But she is willing to drop everything for the people she holds dear, and even comes to defend others that she never thought she would see as equals.
40:11For what it's worth.
40:15You're my queen.
40:17I choose you.
40:18Blair certainly does not always go about being a friend in the best way.
40:22But deep down, she understands how important it is to have people in your corner.
40:26There's no such thing as too awful between friends.
40:29We don't judge, remember?
40:31And how that means you need to be there for them, too.
40:34She's able to step out of her ice queen role and be a real friend when she can tell one of her friends is really down, and is especially always willing to help find a way to help Serena out of a bad time.
40:46It's often in the most dramatic, sometimes dangerous, moments in her friends' lives that her willingness to be there for them no matter what really shines.
41:03We're sisters, you're my family, what is you is me, there's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go.
41:13I love you.
41:13One of the most melodramatic moments of the show's first season was the iconic all about my brother cliffhanger.
41:19What is it?
41:23I killed someone.
41:24Naturally, one might assume that mean girl Blair would immediately use this information to blackmail Serena and make her life hell.
41:30But she instead chooses to stand by her friend and make sure that she knows she's not alone.
41:36You can tell us anything, we don't judge, we're the non-judging breakfast club.
41:41It can be difficult for anyone to own up to being in the wrong, but for an ultra-controlling queen bee like Blair, it can feel nearly impossible.
41:50But even with her penchant for bad behavior, she did often manage to come around and realize when she went too far, and was often even willing to apologize.
42:00A major source of her growth in this area was learning to be more upfront about what was actually wrong,
42:06what she was truly angry about, so that issues could really get resolved instead of just continually escalating.
42:12You knew Serena, and you didn't even call.
42:17Eric told me what happened. I guess your family's been going through a hard time too.
42:21And as she started to become more aware of what was really driving her anger,
42:26she became more able to have these more truthful conversations,
42:29and reach new levels of understanding with the people she cared about, even if she still needed a little push.
42:34What did my text supposedly say?
42:39That you're sorry and you miss me.
42:41Given how often she was unkind to others, she probably never really apologized as much as she should.
42:47But the fact that she was willing to at all does separate her from a lot of other on-screen meme queens.
42:53Initially, one of the things Blair feared most was change.
42:57Her abandonment issues and her constant concern that she would be totally left out of power,
43:02and become a pariah, combined to create a constant undercurrent of fear that any change in her life
43:07would only lead to negative consequences.
43:10And so, the status quo must be maintained at all costs.
43:14But not even Blair Waldorf can stop the natural ebbs and flows of life.
43:18Over time, however, she comes to accept that this isn't always a bad thing.
43:22Sometimes the things you weren't expecting aren't disastrous, but instead amazing.
43:27And sometimes it is worth the risk to find out.
43:29You have to decide what's most important to you.
43:32Keeping your pride in getting nothing, or taking a risk, and maybe, maybe, having everything.
43:37Serena was constantly working to get Blair to relax and go with the flow,
43:41and shake her out of her inclination to let her fear of change stop her from taking big leaps in life.
43:47I've been waiting all summer to feel sparkly again, and I won't be pulled back into the darkness.
43:51And sometimes things don't work out, and that's okay too.
43:55Blair comes to understand the power of accepting change in many of her relationships.
43:59Like accepting that her mother's new husband, Cyrus, is actually pretty great.
44:03She goes from battling Jenny for high school dominance, to working with her on a fashion line.
44:08Probably her biggest change is opening herself up to her relationship with Lonely Boy himself.
44:13Initially, she and Dan were constantly at odds. He saw her as an elitist meanie,
44:17and she saw him as a sneaky interloper.
44:20But even early on, they found that they actually had more in common than they thought.
44:25Since we have nothing in common, and are in fact opposites.
44:28The kind of opposites you do not attract.
44:30Most definitely not.
44:32They eventually realized that they shared a lot, from taste in books and movies,
44:36to having a real drive to go after what they want in a way their other friends didn't.
44:40Her time with Dan allowed her to access her more human side,
44:44and focus on things she cared about outside of her relationships.
44:47Fashion is the most powerful art there is.
44:50It's movement, design, and architecture all in one.
44:54And because they weren't constantly in a battle for power within their relationship,
44:58she was able to feel a level of security.
45:01What if I lose everything?
45:04You'll still have me.
45:05Over the course of the show, Blair again and again came to realize that
45:09change doesn't have to be the end of the world,
45:11and can in fact be the start of a wonderful new one.
45:15Unfortunately, Blair didn't get to totally have the arc that she deserved.
45:19In the later seasons, a lot of her growth was undone in service of forcing her back into
45:23her relationship with Chuck, and keeping her as a more stereotypical mean girl.
45:28But even in spite of that, there is a lot of interesting personal evolution,
45:32and even good, to be found in her story.
45:35She exemplifies both the dark reality of the elite world,
45:39and the fact that there can be a lot more going on with a mean Queen Bee than meets the eye.
45:44Between being traded for a hotel and selling out for a tiara,
45:48I lost my true self.
45:52But I want to be found.
45:54She shows us that, no matter how much we might want to control everything in the world,
45:58letting go can actually be the most rewarding thing of all.
46:02But also, there's nothing wrong with bringing out your Queen Bee side every once in a while.
46:07You know what I just remembered?
46:08If you really want something, you don't suffer anyone or anything until you get it.
46:13That's the take! Click here to watch the video we think you'll love,
46:16or here to check out a whole playlist of awesome content.
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