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Friends' Rachel Green is one of the most iconic sitcom characters of all time, and in this compilation we're taking a look back at the ups and downs of her story to unpack what made her so...
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00:00Friends Rachel Green is a hilarious and highly relatable comedy heroine,
00:04who was such a compelling character because we got to watch her grow
00:08so much over the course of the show's 10 seasons.
00:11But the reason she had so much room to grow is because she started out
00:14with some pretty wrong ideas about life.
00:17She spent the show's run learning and evolving, and often fumbling.
00:21There's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
00:26But she always managed to get back up in the end with the help of her friends,
00:29so let's take a look back at what Rachel got wrong,
00:33how she overcame those negative mindsets,
00:35and how even if the show forced her to regress a bit at the end,
00:39not all hope is lost.
00:40Isn't that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck, fantastic?
00:44Rachel begins the show with a pretty strongly held cool girl attitude.
00:48She's not a girl's girl, and generally sees other women as competition.
00:52Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me.
00:54In high school, she was the popular head cheerleader,
00:57and by all accounts, generally not a terribly nice person.
01:00Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me.
01:04Oh, I'm so sorry.
01:05Eh, it's not so much you.
01:06You were fat.
01:07You had your own problems.
01:11But you!
01:12What a f**k!
01:13The way she treated people in high school continues to stay in their mind
01:17for years after graduation.
01:19She barely remembers these people and her poor treatment of them,
01:22but it really affected them on a deep level.
01:25Uh, Will, I just want to say that I'm real sorry
01:27for whatever I did to you in high school.
01:29Oh, it wasn't just me.
01:30Hmm.
01:31We had a club.
01:31Rachel can be quite judgmental of others, especially other women.
01:35Here I am, about to pop, and he's out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us.
01:40While she was close friends with Monica when they were younger,
01:43she clearly on some level thought she was too cool to hang out with her.
01:46This is part of what led to them drifting apart as they went to separate colleges,
01:50and started working their way through young adulthood.
01:53But once Rachel realizes that this cool girl life
01:55she secured for herself actually kind of sucks,
01:58she comes crawling back to Monica,
02:00because deep down she knows how important that real friendship connection is.
02:05I just didn't know where to go,
02:06and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart,
02:08but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
02:12Who wasn't invited to the wedding?
02:13Rachel is incredibly focused on looks and how she's perceived by others,
02:17and so she judges everyone else by that same metric as well.
02:21People were looking at us like we were crazy.
02:23Why do you care?
02:25Because they're people.
02:27But people that you don't know and will never see again.
02:30But over time we can see how she begins to grow out of this mindset,
02:34and realize that being cool doesn't actually matter and won't bring you happiness,
02:38and that she's much better off just being free, and even a little weird.
02:42Because she was raised in a family where she was told to put her looks
02:46above everything else and strive for material things,
02:49she often has a hard time not centering herself.
02:52And she often doesn't always think through how her choices will affect others.
02:55Oh, I'm my father.
02:57Oh my god, this is horrible.
03:01I've been trying so hard not to be my mother,
03:02I did not see this coming.
03:04Her self-centered nature is something she constantly has to fight against,
03:08and is hard to outgrow, because for so long,
03:10it was the key to her success in life.
03:12Being pretty and getting attention from people, especially men,
03:15was all she felt like she needed for a long time.
03:18So it takes time for her to begin noticing this part of her personality
03:22and working to stop it.
03:23And sometimes this part of her just focuses on putting her wants
03:27and desires first leads to some hilarious results.
03:30We are dessert stealers.
03:32We are living outside the law.
03:34But other times it can mean she's quite rude to those closest to her.
03:37Sometimes it's more on the side of thoughtlessness,
03:40like when she decides she'll be moving in with Monica,
03:42without asking Monica.
03:44Or when she accidentally left her flat iron on
03:46and nearly burnt down Phoebe's apartment.
03:48It looks like a curling iron.
03:49I don't use a curling iron.
03:50Well, someone does.
03:53Don't look at me.
03:53My hair's straight.
03:54Straight, straight, straight.
03:57Could have been a hair straightener.
03:59Oh.
03:59But other times it's actually kind of messed up,
04:01like when she hires Tag to be her assistant
04:03over the actually qualified person just because he's super hot,
04:07and then goes on to date him while she's his boss.
04:10He's so pretty.
04:11I want to cry.
04:12Her desire to be the center of attention
04:14and make sure she's always getting what she wants
04:16can make her a bad friend on occasion.
04:19She has a bad habit of stealing Monica's thunder,
04:21from announcing her pregnancy on the day of Monica and Chandler's wedding,
04:25to stealing Monica's baby name,
04:27to getting back with Ross at Monica and Chandler's engagement party.
04:30Maybe this is selfish and I'm sorry about it,
04:32but I was kind of hoping tonight could just be about that.
04:35Oh honey, but it is just about that.
04:37No, no, now it's about you and Ross getting back together.
04:39What?
04:40Yeah, um, you kind of stole my thunder.
04:42It's been a struggle for their entire friendship,
04:44but thankfully Rachel does work to be a good friend
04:47and make sure that Monica gets her time to shine too.
04:50She might not always make the right decision on impulse,
04:52but she is willing to work to fix things when she messes up,
04:56because she does value their friendship so much.
04:58She also gets to use her self-focus in a positive way,
05:01when she decides to not let Ross bully her into putting her career aside for him.
05:06She worked so hard to start from scratch and build a life for herself,
05:10and it could have been easier to just give in and go back to her old ways
05:13and do what Ross wanted because he's the guy and he'll buy her things.
05:17But she likes the life she's been working toward,
05:19and she's proud of herself for doing it,
05:22and so she doesn't let him throw her off course.
05:24My work, it's for me, you know?
05:26I'm out there on my own and I'm doing it,
05:29and it's scary, but I love it because it's mine.
05:32Though then this circles back around in a more negative way
05:35when she decides to move to Paris with Emma,
05:38without talking to him about it first.
05:40But maybe she just assumed since he was so willing to forget Ben existed,
05:44he'd be fine with Emma disappearing as well.
05:46When's my daddy coming back?
05:4952 minutes.
05:50Rachel has a jealous streak that can lead her to be pretty terrible to other people
05:55when she feels like she's not getting her way.
05:57I'm so happy and not at all jealous.
05:59She grew up learning that it was important to be able to
06:01manipulate people around you into giving you whatever you want.
06:05Jill?
06:08I'm sorry, Rachel.
06:10Oh, come on.
06:11You really think that's gonna work on me?
06:13I invented that!
06:14And so, even into adulthood, she has carried with her the idea
06:17that she should always be able to come out on top,
06:20even if it takes being pretty shady to do it.
06:23We see this habit creep out a bit when she steals the date with
06:26Jean-Claude Van Damme from Monica after agreeing to talk to him for her,
06:30but thankfully she did realize how not nice that was to do
06:34and gave up the date so Monica could go.
06:36But other times Rachel isn't so willing to give up and let someone else win.
06:40She particularly has it out for any woman that ends up dating Ross.
06:44They were usually pretty miserable when they were actually together,
06:47but anytime they were apart and usually dating other people,
06:50that's when they'd decide they were truly meant to be.
06:53While Ross is the more obvious case of wanting what he can't have,
06:57having been pining after popular girl Rachel since high school,
07:00once they're together as adults, this habit comes out in her too.
07:04When they're broken up, she can't stand to see him dating anyone else,
07:08even though most of his girlfriends are incredibly kind
07:10and even get along with the group,
07:12Rachel can't help but throw a wrench in things because of her jealousy.
07:16She even gets mad when others in the group try to be kind to these girlfriends,
07:20like when she gets mad at Monica for going shopping with Julie.
07:23Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?
07:25She's not above pulling out her old-school mean girl tactics
07:28when she's feeling jealous, either.
07:30When Ross takes an interest in free spirit Bonnie,
07:33Rachel goads her into shaving her head so that Ross won't be attracted to her anymore,
07:37or when she decided last minute that she was going to fly to London
07:41to stop Ross' wedding and tell him about her feelings for him,
07:44only to not tell him at the last minute while still sending the wedding off the rails.
07:49I, Ross, take thee Emily, take thee Rachel, Emily.
07:58Initially, Rachel saw nabbing a rich guy and getting married
08:02as the end-all be-all goal of her life.
08:04But then, after ditching her wedding to Barry and taking on the real world
08:08with her new friends, she began to realize that there was a lot more to life.
08:12Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry
08:15and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything,
08:18but this is just so much better for me.
08:21But while she did recognize that that mindset didn't serve her happiness,
08:25it did take her a long time to really leave it behind.
08:27She ended up falling back into that same pattern with Ross,
08:31letting him and their relationship take precedence in her life in a destructive way.
08:34Ross and Rachel.
08:38Rachel and Ross.
08:42That's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?
08:44She didn't let him ruin her job, at least not at first,
08:48but she did throw a lot of the other parts of her life off course for him,
08:51especially her other relationships,
08:53because she was stuck on the idea that he was the one.
08:56But it also, to some degree, just seems to be that he's the one that's always around,
09:00like a safety net she knows will be there if she gets cold feet or bored with some other guy.
09:05And we can see this take her in a different direction when she tries to date Joey,
09:09just because he's… there.
09:12And even agreeing to marry him when he accidentally looked like he was proposing
09:16after she gave birth to Emma.
09:17Though to be fair to her there, she had literally just given birth,
09:21and so wasn't really in her right mind.
09:23In the end, this habit of falling back to the safe option of focusing her life on a guy
09:27creeps up once more as she gives up her dream job in Paris to stay with Ross,
09:32who will never stop being Ross.
09:35We're done being stupid.
09:36Okay. It's you and me, all right? This is it.
09:39This is it. Unless we're on a break.
09:44Rachel wasn't a perfect person, but she did grow and learn from her mistakes,
09:49even if that didn't always stop her from making new ones.
09:52But that's also what makes her relatable.
09:54In life, we often feel like for every step we take forward,
09:57we end up tumbling two back.
09:59She's a great example of how you can break free from the stereotypes that bind you,
10:03and the negative ideals you were raised with,
10:05and choose to live your life for you.
10:08I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry,
10:13there isn't anything I can't do.
10:15But she's also a cautionary tale of what can happen if you let those same
10:19issues start creeping back in over time.
10:21And to be fair to Rachel, a lot of her regression
10:24was more on the writers low-key flanderizing a lot of the characters,
10:27in an attempt to keep the show's drama alive,
10:30and try to recapture the magic from the earlier seasons,
10:33by making these older versions act more like their younger selves
10:37they had to grow out of.
10:38But at the end of the day, just because she did go back to her old ways a bit,
10:42and didn't seem to have fully learned from all of her mistakes,
10:44doesn't mean that she'll be stuck forever.
10:46We watched Rachel try and fail and try again,
10:49until she succeeded over and over again over the course of the show's ten seasons.
10:53So there's no doubt that even after choosing to stay in New York with Ross,
10:57that she still would have had the drive to find a different path for her career,
11:01while continuing to build the life she wanted for herself and her family.
11:04More than anything, the most important lesson we can learn from Rachel
11:07is that the key to life is that you just have to keep putting yourself out there,
11:11and trying your best until you get things right.
11:14I was spoiled, self-centered, and you guys really took care of me.
11:19Yeah, Monica made us.
11:23Well, whatever, I really appreciate-
11:25Rachel Green, Monica Geller, and Phoebe Buffet are all beautiful,
11:29but Friends singled out only one as THE hot one.
11:32For a long time, there was a trend on screen where, within any group of female Friends,
11:37regardless of what any of them looked like, one was always upheld as THE hot friend,
11:42pretty much always because she was the main love object of the story.
11:45But this trope split off from other hot girl tropes for one key reason, her friendships.
11:51So where did the hot one trope even come from?
11:53And how did Rachel, with the help of Monica and Phoebe, change it for the better?
11:57And have we finally gotten rid of it altogether?
12:00Let's take a deeper look at the hot one trope.
12:02For a long time, a female friend group having a designated hot one was just a given.
12:07It was pretty much just THE accepted setup in any film or TV show featuring multiple female characters.
12:12We're just two little girls from Little Rock.
12:17This attractiveness difference often fed into the idea that girls were never really friends.
12:21They were just hanging out, and often in competition with one another,
12:25until they got what really mattered, a man.
12:28Even among sisters, there's usually one who was noted as THE beauty.
12:31And since you were quite five times as pretty as the rest of us,
12:35and have the sweetest disposition, I fear the task will fall on you to raise our fortunes.
12:39And the male part of the equation is key because the entire concept of the hot one,
12:44of course isn't based on some inherent truth about human beauty.
12:47It's based on what, or rather who, the men in a given story are interested in.
12:52I'm gonna be honest with you.
12:53I did not hear a word that you just said, because I can kind of see your party hats right now.
12:58The women themselves are all beautiful.
13:00But the story would always posit that one needed to be picked out of the bunch as special.
13:04And the main way Hollywood likes to show that a woman is special is by pointing out how hot she is.
13:10Serena looked effing hot last night.
13:13There's something wrong with that level of perfection.
13:16Even as society evolved, the attention of men was still placed at the center of many women's stories.
13:21The love of a guy was still seen as THE thing women should be striving for.
13:25And so the woman that was the most desired by the principal men in the story got upheld as the hot one.
13:30Although, it being Hollywood, all of them had to be pretty to even be on screen to begin with.
13:35Being hot, and specifically THE hottest one of our group,
13:38marks her out as something hard to get.
13:40And thus, in the framing of many stories, a good prize to be won by the man.
13:45Serena, you're the most beautiful, amazing, alive person I've ever known.
13:50As opposed to, say, a sweet and simple girl next door,
13:53who might be nice to have around, but isn't necessarily seen as a win.
13:57But, of course, women have continually pushed back against this gross framing.
14:01And all of the negative connotations that come with it.
14:04While the hot girl is often set alone, unable to make women friends,
14:07or be seen as anything more by men,
14:10the hot friend is often allowed to exist as a more full character within the story.
14:15She does have friends.
14:16And she doesn't, usually, see them as competition or just a holdover until she gets into a relationship.
14:22She cherishes them and they her.
14:24Jess is by far the best person that I know.
14:27So if you guys let anything happen to her, I'm gonna come here and crazy murder you.
14:32And if anything, the hot one is often actively trying to avoid falling into the pitfalls of the hot girl trap.
14:38She knows that how she's perceived by others, especially men, changes how she's treated.
14:43And she doesn't like it.
14:45Her sense of self isn't exclusively tied up in male validation.
14:49But she also can't seem to escape the attention.
14:53For a long time I made a career for my look, so I get it.
14:55I'm a pretty girl.
14:57But not enough from a certain angle way, in an obvious way.
14:59That's how men see me.
15:02I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl.
15:04I'm a pretty girl.
15:05Society might still try to pit the women in these stories against each other,
15:09but they push back because they value their friendships.
15:12But that doesn't mean that the seemingly effortless beauty of the hot one goes unnoticed.
15:17So, that's how you look when you've just woken up?
15:20Um, yeah.
15:24Nothing in my life is fair.
15:25And often, these kinds of stories will allow the friends that aren't the hot one
15:30to have their own hot girl moment,
15:31making it clear that the entire idea of hotness is all about perception more than anything else.
15:37Through its main trio of female friends, friends explored this trope from all angles.
15:42And provides some interesting insight into the trope, and why it finally got left behind.
15:47Early on, friends slots its friends into pretty well-worn tropes.
15:51The control freak, the funny one, the weirdo, the nerd, the ladies man, and the spoiled rich girl.
15:56All three of the women are clearly beautiful, but Rachel is singled out as the hot one by the story.
16:02Interestingly, Courtney Cox, who plays Monica, was initially asked to audition for Rachel.
16:07Jennifer Aniston was said to be more like Phoebe, and Lisa Kudrow most related to Rachel's character.
16:12And all three had played hot girls in various other things before landing their roles on the show,
16:17which makes it pretty clear that the whole hot one thing doesn't actually have anything to do with
16:22any specific look, but instead the way the story chooses to frame the characters.
16:27While Cox was beautiful, Monica's personality was uptight and controlling.
16:32Something seen as decidedly not quote-unquote hot.
16:35And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you're doing it wrong.
16:39Phoebe was weird, but also self-assured and sexually forward.
16:43So she did sometimes get hot moments, but they were usually played for laughs.
16:48God, I love how sexy I am.
16:52The show itself plays with this perception through its use of Phoebe's identical twin sister, Ursula.
16:57Oh, well, what do you know? There goes my identical twin sister. Just walking along, looking like me.
17:04While the two sisters look exactly the same, and in fact are since both are played by Kudrow herself,
17:10the show constantly points out that Ursula is the hot one.
17:13Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one.
17:15Through these two, the show is able to explore how being the hot one doesn't really have anything
17:20to do with looks, and is all about how you're perceived by those, namely men, around you.
17:26They're twins.
17:28Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
17:31The show does also explore the male version of this trope, the ladies' man.
17:35How you doing?
17:39But we also see how, for men,
17:41hotness isn't really a major factor in desirability as far as on-screen narratives are concerned.
17:46Oh no, two women love me.
17:50They're both gorgeous and sexy.
17:52My wallet's too small for my 50s, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
17:55Monica was initially seen as the main character of the group, given that so much of the show takes
18:00place at her apartment, and she seems to have her life more together than the others.
18:04Rachel was initially framed less becomingly, as a spoiled and whiny rich girl.
18:09But, as Rachel became more solidified as the show's main love interest, and thus the most
18:13desirable and hot one, she was moved to the forefront.
18:16While she did have other story arcs, like being out on her own for the first time and reconnecting
18:22with Monica, the main thrust of her story was her on-again, off-again relationship with Ross.
18:27Not being the hot one gave Monica and Phoebe more freedom to focus on other things and explore
18:44other parts of their lives and interests. They definitely do date plenty, but their lives and
18:49story arcs don't necessarily revolve around their love lives in the way that Rachel's does.
18:53And through flashbacks, we see that even Rachel herself didn't always see herself as hot. She
19:09was insecure about her looks until she got a nose job. But, it was this focus on her looks that also
19:15got her trapped in the idea of being the hot one for so long.
19:19It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me,
19:22you're a shoe! And then today I just stopped and I said,
19:24what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a... a purse? You know? Or a hat?
19:31Thankfully, over the course of the show, Rachel does get to start branching out and being more
19:35than just the desirable friend. She gains confidence in herself not through her love life,
19:40but through growing as a person. Getting a job that she enjoys and that she's good at,
19:44allows her a new kind of agency to see herself as having value beyond just her physical appearance.
19:50My work, it's... it's for me, you know? I'm out there on my own and I'm doing it.
19:55And it's scary, but I love it because it's mine.
19:58Importantly, the show never framed the women's relationship as competitive. They weren't all
20:03secretly battling over some guy. They were friends, who were all there for each other no matter what.
20:08And as the show evolved away from the earlier framing of Rachel being the most appealing one,
20:13we got to see how all three of them were desirable in their own way. And critically,
20:18how that wasn't the main focus of their lives.
20:20Look at you. You're this big executive. You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.
20:26Rachel's on-screen evolution was in many ways the beginning of the end for the hot one trope,
20:31as it had so long existed on screen. In the same way Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel were all able to
20:37evolve out of their initial limiting tropes and become more full, complex characters,
20:41well-done narratives in general have evolved away from trying to trap female characters in any single
20:46box. Nowadays, the hot one framing has pretty much been left behind in favor of this more
20:52equal exploration of how everyone is desirable and interesting in their own way.
20:5790% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is no one knows if it's real or not.
21:02A big part of this is thanks to the continued move away from seeing male attention,
21:06as the end-all be-all for women, on-screen and off.
21:10When I'm telling my own story,
21:14for the first time in my life, I am truly happy.
21:19It's also much more accepted that hot can mean many different things to different people.
21:24There's not one way to be hot, and so no singular hot friend.
21:28Female characters now are more interested in exploring their own sexualities under their own control,
21:33not sitting around hoping they're chosen out of a lineup by some dude,
21:37but instead going after whoever they want, or not if that's not their thing.
21:41Are any of you in relationships?
21:42Oh, no thank you.
21:44I didn't come to college to be tethered to some dude I dated in high school.
21:48Also, I never really dated anyone in high school, but I'm here.
21:51I'm super sex-positive, in theory more than inexperienced, and I am ready to smash some deez.
21:56And the focus is much more on becoming the happiest, most capable version of yourself,
22:00and building strong friendships. Hotness is all about perception.
22:04And now, we're finally controlling how we're seen by the world.
22:08Rachel's sisters on Friends are unimpressive human beings.
22:12So what was it about Rachel that let her escape their spoiled, stunted adulthood?
22:16Which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or the one that bit her?
22:20Rachel Green's character arc is iconic.
22:22She goes from a bratty, selfish, trust-fund baby,
22:25to a successful working woman and great friend over the course of nine seasons of Friends.
22:30But when we meet Rachel's sisters, Jill and Amy,
22:32we get a glimpse of the life she left behind,
22:35the woman she could have been if she hadn't made the choice
22:37to run out on her wedding in the pilot.
22:39And that picture is not good.
22:41I try to help your daughter de-emphasize her flaws.
22:44Here's our take on the Green sisters, what's really wrong with them,
22:47and how Rachel got free of her toxic family dynamic.
22:50I'm gonna go get one of those job things.
22:53Jill and Amy are impulsive, they're mean, and they're superficial.
23:00He has a killer apartment.
23:05And?
23:05And it's on 5th.
23:08They don't really seem to care about anyone or anything.
23:11They have very little work ethic, desire to contribute to society,
23:14or concept that's outside of their upper-middle-class lifestyle.
23:17Daddy cut me off.
23:18I said, I'm gonna hire a lawyer,
23:20and I'm gonna sue you and take all your money,
23:22and then I'm gonna cut you off.
23:23Wow, what did he say?
23:25He said he wouldn't pay for my lawyer.
23:27They're fun to watch because they're so ridiculous.
23:29But you can't fall in love with them like we do with Rachel
23:32because they have no redemption,
23:34and they're never around for long enough to show true depth or development.
23:37Yet when we look closer,
23:38we see Jill and Amy both exhibit familiar behaviors.
23:41We see early-season Rachel in both of them.
23:44Jill?
23:46I'm sorry, Rachel.
23:49Oh, come on.
23:50You really think that's gonna work on me?
23:51I invented that.
23:52Even Rachel herself recognizes that her sisters are a lot like she was.
23:56Look, you know, when I first moved to this city,
23:58I was a lot like her.
24:00I was spoiled, self-centered.
24:02So let's look at some of the direct comparisons between Rachel and her sisters.
24:06They all break girl code and don't care about sisterhood.
24:09Rachel got with Chandler, who Monica had a crush on when they were teens.
24:12And both Jill and Amy have been with Rachel's exes.
24:15Amy used to kiss Barry behind Rachel's back when they were still together.
24:19How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
24:21While Jill went on a date with Ross.
24:24God, Ross is on a date with your sister? How weird is that?
24:27When Rachel intervenes asking Ross to not date her sister,
24:30Jill flips out in typical spoiled baby style
24:33because she doesn't want anything to be off-limits.
24:35This is about you being a brat, wanting what you can't have.
24:38Can't have? Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy!
24:43Later on, when Ross and Rachel have baby Emma,
24:45Amy can't get her niece's name right.
24:47She keeps calling her Ella.
24:49And goes on to get Emma's ears pierced, insulting Rachel as she goes.
24:52At least now people will know she's a girl!
24:54Another thing the sisters have in common is that
24:56they feel it's their right to spend excessively.
24:59And they're pretty addicted to extravagant purchases.
25:02Jill, how did you pay for all this?
25:04I thought your dad took away your credit card.
25:06Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15.
25:08When Rachel first joins the group,
25:10she finds it really difficult to stop spending on her credit card.
25:13How did you pay for them?
25:15A credit card.
25:16And who pays for that?
25:17She doesn't really understand that the money she spends on her credit card
25:20comes from somewhere, and that somewhere is her dad.
25:23Likewise, when Jill shows up to Monica and Rachel's apartment,
25:26it's because her dad has finally cut her off,
25:29after one epic splurge too far.
25:31Okay, I bought a boat.
25:33You bought a boat?
25:34And finally, a key thing that the sisters share is that
25:37they all get to their mid-20s without ever having a job.
25:40Rachel gets her first ever job when she's about 24,
25:43and Jill is later than that.
25:45You're gonna get a job.
25:47You're gonna get an apartment.
25:48Meanwhile, Amy has totally harebrained schemes of making money,
25:52which belies the fact that she's never actually had to worry about it.
25:55How's the baby styling business going?
25:59Not that great.
26:01It's almost as if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.
26:04Ultimately, the Green Girls have no concept of how to take care of themselves
26:08or what things are worth, because they're all being bankrolled.
26:10So while Rachel, Jill, and Amy all have their unattractive habits,
26:14that's not necessarily their fault to begin with.
26:16There is a villain, but it's not one of the sisters.
26:22Enter the true villain, Dr. Green.
26:24The Green sister's father, Leonard Green,
26:26has enabled them to become selfish and spoiled,
26:29and yet when they do exactly what he's taught them to do,
26:31he punishes them all for it.
26:33So whichever way they choose to go, he has total control.
26:36He told me to come here and learn about the value of money
26:38from the one daughter he's actually proud of.
26:40We're shown time and again that the model he gives his kids
26:43is one of providing material wealth and comfort to his family,
26:46but combining that with a kind of meanness.
26:48He gives them a luxurious lifestyle and every material thing they need,
26:52but only shows them tough love.
26:54This is embodied well in Rachel's memories of sailing.
26:56Owning a boat is a privilege only available to the very elite,
26:59yet the way Dr. Green apparently talked to his kids during sailing
27:02made it a painful experience.
27:04Like, you can't quit!
27:05Why not?
27:06Because you're not finished yet and I won't have it!
27:08Greens do not quit!
27:09Oh God, Joey. Oh, I'm my father.
27:11Rachel's dad has a total disregard for anyone's feelings.
27:15Why would you bring me sewage?
27:18Is that a hard question?
27:19Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?
27:21We can see this in how despite being incredibly wealthy,
27:24he is noticeably cheap.
27:26For example, he'll go out to dinner and order the lobster,
27:28but mistreat the server and fail to leave an appropriate tip.
27:31Uh-oh. I think your dad must've added wrong.
27:34He only tipped, like, four percent.
27:36Yeah. That's daddy.
27:38These are behaviors of a man who knows he's high on the food chain
27:41and abuses his power over those lower down.
27:43When it comes to the women in his life,
27:45his three daughters and his wife,
27:46he's engineered a situation where they depend on him entirely.
27:49By making sure they rely on him for everything
27:51and withholding emotional validation so they're always craving his approval,
27:54he has infantilized them to the point that they have no real power of their own.
27:58That's why they're petty and unkind,
28:00they have no control over anything real.
28:03So they find solace in objects and shopping,
28:05rather than in their relationships.
28:07The general pattern is that they stay being bankrolled by daddy
28:10until they get married,
28:11which prevents them from learning to develop true agency,
28:14self-care skills, or a sense of an independent self.
28:17And even if they break away, he'll still try to exert control,
28:20like over Rachel and her relationship with Ross.
28:23How do you expect me to stay calm? This is unacceptable, Rachel.
28:26And I want to know why.
28:28Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?
28:31And because by his own design his daughters are superficial,
28:34he knows what makes them tick and he can use it to control them.
28:36Like in this scene when Rachel tells him she's pregnant,
28:39and he bullies her into saying she's getting married to Ross.
28:42Phoebe counsels her through it, telling her she has to tell him the truth,
28:45but even though Rachel has become a self-sufficient, confident working woman,
28:48she still reverts to being like Putty in his hands.
28:51All right, here he comes. I'm going to do this.
28:53I'm going to tell him I'm going to be strong.
28:55I think I may be able to book the plaza on short note.
28:57The plaza on short note!
29:00All this is why it's so crucial that Rachel does develop her independence
29:04instead of settling down too quickly with Ross.
29:06She's undoing her conditioning as a daddy's girl
29:08who's desperate for a dictatorial man's approval.
29:11Did you hear that? My dad's proud of me!
29:13We see these dynamics most fully realized in the girl's mom, Sandra,
29:17someone who married for money and didn't have to build a life for herself.
29:20Now, have you picked your nanny yet?
29:22Now, I don't want you to just use your housekeeper,
29:24because it'll just split her focus.
29:25Sandra herself admits that she envies Rachel's independence
29:28as a woman making her own way.
29:30You didn't marry your berry, honey, but I married mine.
29:34Sandra and Leonard eventually get divorced,
29:36and we hear that one of the causes is that Leonard never took much interest in his wife,
29:41but was far more absorbed in his boat.
29:43And you work and you work at a marriage, but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
29:48You work and you work and you work on a boat.
29:51So the Green women are made to feel their lives revolve around winning the love of a man
29:56who shows affection only through money and doesn't truly bother to engage with their deeper selves.
30:01The materialism and status obsession of the Green family's culture points
30:04to a social problem that's bigger than Leonard.
30:07When women are raised to think their job is to immediately marry a man who'll provide,
30:10and when men or women are conditioned to prize wealth and status above all,
30:14the result is emotional stuntedness and inability to connect.
30:17While Rachel diverts from her mom's path, her sisters are headed in Sandra's same direction.
30:21That's why Rachel's arc is so rewarding and why her sisters are so interesting to us.
30:26Because they give us a glimpse of what might have been if she'd just
30:30married Barry instead of running away to find a new life in the city.
30:33We see this what-might-have-been arc fleshed out in the fantasy episodes
30:36where Rachel is a bored housewife in a loveless marriage.
30:39This version of Rachel never challenged herself and opted instead
30:43for the financial security of relying on a man who doesn't respect her.
30:46As a result, she's realized a lot less of her potential,
30:49and she's a lot more like Jill and Amy.
30:51It's a warning to us all that choosing what feels safe over what feels right
30:55doesn't pay off on a human level,
30:57because it's crucial to push ourselves and take risks
30:59in order to develop into our best selves.
31:02Rachel's family are cartoonish in their villainy.
31:04They're hilarious to watch because they're so absurd.
31:07I throw myself at you and you say no? How gay are you?
31:10Yet even though Amy and Jill are heightened versions of the mean,
31:13vapid sisters we might meet in real life,
31:15they reflect a truth we face all the time – that spoiled kids
31:18turn into spoiled adults.
31:20Actually, what makes Rachel's arc so appealing is how unusual it is.
31:24Most rich, bratty kids don't leave the safety of their trust-funded futures
31:27to try and make it on their own.
31:28In that sense, despite their absurdities,
31:30her sisters Amy and Jill are actually realistic.
31:33So how does Rachel make it on her own?
31:35The real answer, according to the show, is because of her friends.
31:39Welcome to the real world!
31:41It sucks! You're gonna love it.
31:42Right from the very beginning, when she bursts back into Monica's life
31:45without having seen her for years,
31:47her group of friends take care of her in a way that her family never has.
31:51So Rachel understands how powerful a network of people looking out for you can be.
31:55And that's why she offers that to her sisters when they show up at her house,
31:59testing the water of going out on their own.
32:01It's important to pay it forward.
32:03I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys.
32:07So, you know, I wanna help Amy.
32:09Well, you guys helped me.
32:10The Big Bang Theory's Penny and Friends' Rachel Green
32:13are two of the most popular characters on two of the biggest sitcoms of all time.
32:17Though they share some surface-level attributes,
32:19one of their most surprising similarities
32:21is actually the way that their stories treated their growth.
32:25And, unfortunately, their endings.
32:28Both characters worked hard to overcome the stereotypes they were initially set up with.
32:33But in the final moments, their shows decided to walk a lot of those decisions back
32:38to keep them on more traditional paths.
32:41They're certainly not the only characters to get hit with this kind of backsliding,
32:45but they are two major examples that perfectly illustrate the issue.
32:49So, let's take a closer look at how both of these characters found their own ways out of the
32:53sitcom Ditsy Hot Blonde box, why their stories of growth were so important to their shows as a whole,
32:58why their shows decided to throw wrenches in their plans at the last second, and what it all means.
33:05Friends aired through the late 90s and early 2000s, and a few years after it went off the air,
33:09The Big Bang Theory hit the scene.
33:11Though they might seem quite different at first.
33:14One, the story of a group of rather regular friends just trying to get by in New York City.
33:18I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry,
33:24there isn't anything I can't do.
33:25The other following a group of hyper-intelligent geeks in Pasadena, California.
33:29Sheldon, you're wrong. Wolverine was not born with bone claws.
33:33Howard, you know me to be a very smart man.
33:36Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?
33:38But, both being sitcoms, they share many key foundational elements,
33:43particularly a reliance on known tropes.
33:45Sitcoms love to use well-known tropes and stereotypes to make the characters and relationships
33:50generally simple and easy to understand.
33:52They want anyone who might happen to come across any episode for the first time
33:56to pretty quickly be able to figure everything out and not feel lost.
34:00I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart,
34:03but you're the only person I knew who lived here in a city.
34:07Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
34:09This is what makes them such effective, easy viewing.
34:12But this reliance on already-established tropes can also mean that some characters
34:17can get put into some stereotypical boxes that can be difficult to climb out of.
34:22All of my life, everyone has always told me,
34:25you're a shoe!
34:26What if I don't want to be a shoe?
34:27What if I want to be a... a purse?
34:29You know, or a hat?
34:32Both Penny and Rachel are the new girls in their respective groups.
34:35They're both seen as ditzy by the others, though, for different reasons.
34:39Penny, because she's just a normal person and not a super genius like the others.
34:43I suppose if someone could teach sign language to Coco the gorilla,
34:47I could teach you some rudimentary physics.
34:49Great!
34:50It's a little insulting, but great!
34:52Rachel, because she's a spoiled rich girl having to figure out life on her own for the very first time.
34:57Everyone I know is either getting married, or getting pregnant, or getting promoted,
35:02and I'm getting coffee!
35:03And it's not even for me!
35:05While sitcoms love ditzes of all types...
35:08No, I don't wash the towel!
35:09The towel washes me!
35:11Who washes a towel?
35:12You never wash.
35:13You wash your towel?
35:14Thanks to that desire to keep in line with Welltrod sitcom shorthand,
35:18that attribute has often been given to blondes.
35:21Especially during the late 90s and 2000s era,
35:24where being blonde was very much associated with being dumb and shallow,
35:28and using your looks to get what you want.
35:30Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
35:34No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.
35:38While this dumb blonde persona was one that had long been put on by performers to appeal to men,
35:43I can be smart when it's important, but most men don't like it.
35:47on sitcoms especially by this era,
35:49Instead, these women were often, at least initially, portrayed as just actually not being very bright.
35:54Much of the humor around Rachel to begin with was laughing
35:58at her and her inability to understand basic parts of adulthood and self-sufficiency.
36:02Penny was initially created just to be a side character that was the butt of the guy's jokes.
36:07Four years I lived with him! Four years! That's like as long as high school!
36:12It took you four years to get through high school?
36:14This setup made it more difficult for both women to find their footing within these friend groups.
36:19Especially for Penny, since at least Rachel already had an existing, if strained,
36:23relationship with some members of her new friend group.
36:26But thankfully in both cases, the writers began to see the true potential in these characters,
36:32and to appreciate the comedic abilities of their actresses.
36:35And so they began to be fleshed out into more multifaceted, interesting people.
36:40We are dessert stealers! We are living outside the law!
36:43While growing out of ditzier or more materialistic attitudes over time,
36:46can be seen as a useful arc for younger characters,
36:50older characters who are given those attributes often find they have a much more difficult time
36:54moving out of those stereotypes. There's an idea that how you behave as an adult is more set in
37:00stone. And so if one still has those attributes by the time we meet them in adulthood, then that's
37:05just the way they are.
37:07I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why? Because I make very bad decisions!
37:15And even when shows do give these characters the opportunity to grow out of those behaviors,
37:20it can often come across as a bit two steps forward, four steps back,
37:25as the writers continue to undo that growth at random when it's more convenient for a joke.
37:30On the one hand, this of course makes sense. Sitcoms are about comedy after all,
37:35though tweaking situations or characters a bit to get a laugh is par for the course.
37:39I have got to learn how to spell Hofstetter! I know there's a D in there,
37:43but it keeps moving every time I try and write it.
37:45But on the other hand, it can cause some problems when it starts to feel like a show doesn't want to
37:51let a character really grow in a permanent way. With characters who have been designated the hot
37:56one by their shows, this kind of backtracking can begin to feel nefarious. As if there's a worry
38:02that these women having too much agency or smarts will make them less hot. As we talked about in
38:08our video on the hot one trope, being the hot one doesn't actually have much to do with looks,
38:12but instead with how one is framed within the larger narrative. And we can see this in both shows
38:17by taking a look at the other blondes, Phoebe and Bernadette. Both are very blonde and very beautiful,
38:24but they're also very opinionated and determined.
38:28It was like a whole other universe. If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a gob.
38:34And so even though all of these characters are equally beautiful, it's the ones that are seen
38:39as more focused on male attention that are framed as hot. This then affects the entirety of their growth
38:45journeys, and the degree to which they're allowed to change. In Rachel's case, the building up and
38:51knocking down of her growth does actually feel pretty realistic a lot of the time. Even though
38:56she is continually working on herself and trying to become a better person, that spoiled daddy's
39:01girl does creep back up to the surface from time to time. Oh, I'm my father. Oh my god, this is horrible.
39:08I've been trying so hard not to be my mother, I did not see this coming.
39:11But overall, being out in the real world and having to figure out how to make her own way
39:15is good for her. She soon comes to realize how freeing and confidence-building it is to be able
39:20to stand on your own two feet. And mom, I realize you and daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry
39:25and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but god, this is just so
39:30much better for me, you know? She's by no means a perfect person, but she does spend most of the show
39:35really trying to change herself and her life for the better. One way we see this play out is through her
39:39career. When we first meet her, she's never worked a day in her life and is miserable about the
39:45prospect of having to get a regular job. And for a while, she does hate it.
39:50Who's Fica? Why's he getting all my money?
39:53Then she comes to appreciate having true control over her own money and her own life.
39:58And then she realizes that she doesn't have to give up her interests. In fact, she can use her
40:03love of fashion to create an entire career. My work, it's for me, you know? I'm out there on my own
40:10and I'm doing it. And it's scary, but I love it because it's mine.
40:14Penny might not have the book smarts of her friends, but she does possess something very important,
40:19people skills. How do you know these things?
40:23I go outside and I talk to people.
40:26As she was written to be a more fully drawn character,
40:28this attribute became key to Penny's integration into the group and her own growth. Penny's empathy
40:34allows her to connect with these new friends in deep ways, and also help them understand more
40:39about the world around them. And while they don't initially value this, over time they do all come
40:44to appreciate what Penny brings to the table. Do you want to stop? I know you have trouble with eye
40:49contact. Plus it's easier around people that I'm comfortable with. Oh, sweetie, I'm comfortable
40:55around you too. Penny excels in other aspects of her life too. After letting go of her dream of
41:00becoming a famous actress, she comes to find that her people skills and acting ability make her a
41:05really great sales rep. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
41:10Decent? I make twice what you make. Wait, twice?
41:13Another avenue of growth for both characters comes in their relationships. For both Rachel and Penny,
41:19deep friendship becomes a major animating force in their lives. They end up forming incredibly
41:24strong and resilient relationships with people they never would have imagined they would ever
41:28be friends with in a million years. I can always make you a Chai T-3PO. Oh, I get it. Like C-3PO.
41:35What happened to me? They're able to use their own special skills to help improve the lives of their
41:40friends. We're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie. Making a scene. I don't think I'd be
41:44good at that. Yeah, that's why you're lucky to have me. Back in Omaha, there are two different
41:47restaurants I'm not allowed into. And they very much appreciate that these relationships are
41:52reciprocal. Their friends also help them out and keep them going. You guys really took care of me.
41:58Yeah, Monica made us. Whatever, I really appreciate it because I don't think I would be
42:03the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. We can also see growth in their romantic
42:08relationships as well. Kind of. Penny began the show with commitment issues and often found herself
42:14getting into relationships with guys who didn't seem to really value her. We meet Rachel when she's
42:19literally running away from her own wedding. Both have a variety of relationships over the course
42:24of the show, but are overall set up as the end game match for one of the main male characters.
42:29See? He's her lobster.
42:32Their relationships run into similar issues. Fear of commitment, the nerdy guys feeling insecure about
42:37dating a hot girl and seeing himself as above her for being book smart, etc. And both get stuck on the
42:43long-running show staple rollercoaster of on-again-off-again relationship problems to keep
42:48the drama alive. As both shows neared their ends, it seemed that they were setting up both Rachel and
42:53Penny to finally get to have the lives they had worked so hard to build. But then… After seasons
43:00of growth and these characters being quite clear about what they did and did not want out of their lives,
43:05both shows wait until the last moment to shove these characters back into more traditional endings.
43:11Rachel was on her way to Paris to take on a dream job at Louis Vuitton,
43:15only to give it up at the last second for Ross.
43:19Did you get off the plane? Did you get off the plane?
43:21I got off the plane.
43:24Penny, who had been very explicit about not wanting children,
43:27What if… what if we didn't have kids?
43:30Ever?
43:31I mean, our life is so great, why would we want to change that?
43:34finds out that she's pregnant as her final storyline.
43:38Neither of these plot points are particularly out of this world. People changing their minds
43:43about jobs or accidentally becoming pregnant isn't all that rare in everyday life.
43:47The problem lies in the fact that these storylines aren't given any time to feel fleshed out or lived
43:52in at all, so that they could feel like real decisions that the characters actually wanted to
43:57make. Instead, it feels like at the very last second, the show worried about letting these characters be
44:03too free or have too much agency yet again, and so decided to push them back into that box one last
44:10time.
44:11We're done being stupid.
44:12Okay. It's you and me, alright? This is it.
44:15This is it. Unless we're on a break.
44:20Similar to Robin's final arc on How I Met Your Mother, here it feels like the focus was more on
44:25making sure that the male love interests got their happy endings at the expense of Penny and Rachel's
44:31own lives and desires. The silver lining of all of this is that, regardless of how their arcs might
44:36have been derailed in their final episodes, we still have their entire stories up to that point
44:41to enjoy. And we can learn from them as we continue to go forward and create new characters. Avoiding the
44:47easy shorthands of played out tropes and shoehorned in endings, and instead writing something that feels
44:52much more real and free. Just like Penny and Rachel themselves.
44:57And that, my friend, is what they call closure.
45:06That's the take! Click here to watch the video we think you'll love,
45:09or here to check out a whole playlist of awesome content. Don't forget to subscribe and turn on
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