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  • 2 days ago
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00:00Good morning Rachel. Good morning Peter. You sleep all right? Great. Now I was just having a look at
00:22your wearable and it appears your galvanic skin response was active last night. Stress levels
00:28a little high. Nightmares? No. Must have been a malfunction. Maybe we should do another colon
00:36cleanse. Get rid of some of those anxiety inducing microorganisms. I'm feeling um refreshed actually.
00:46The body pillow you got me um has helped a lot. It's relieved the pressure so thank you.
00:52You're a lifesaver Peter. Thank you. Glad to help Rachel. Let's hold off on the cleanse.
00:58Try some relaxing music before bed to calm the nerves. Nothing is worse for your little
01:03man than a mother's anxiety. What's it like out today? 68 with a slight chance of showers
01:12later this afternoon. Let's get the day started.
01:17Have mercy on me.
01:21Like the baby.
01:24Exhale and round your back as you tuck your chin toward your chest.
01:40Inhale and gently arch your back downward and look up at the sky. Your respiratory rate
01:50is great Rachel. Now take a nice deep breath in. Hold it. One. Two. Three. Expanding the
02:01uterus and exhale. Three. Two. One.
02:07I was thinking maybe we could try a silent meditation today.
02:11Oh I don't think so Rachel. We know where your mind can take you. Just to change it up a bit. I'm in a really good place.
02:20Well looks like your systolic blood pressure level suggests otherwise. Let's continue the guided meditation shall we?
02:26Making me feel kind of nauseous.
02:28A small sacrifice for your little man's brain development.
02:37Oh uh it's like we're out.
02:39Not possible. Based off your daily consumption you're not up for a refill until next week.
02:45Four ounces of omega-3 fish oil. Please.
02:48Just skip one day. Right? That can't hurt. One day?
02:55Well it's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.
02:59Yeah but I mean how can a day hurt you? Four ounces of omega-3 fish oil. Please.
03:09It's just it's just a day right? I mean what's the big fucking deal? It's just it's just a day.
03:17Please? If you don't comply I'll have to give you a nudge Rachel. Please it's just one fucking day.
03:23Okay? Can we? Ow! Ugh! Fuck!
03:33You got me to help you optimize your potential and achieve results.
03:37A safe delivery and a healthy baby. Isn't that right?
03:42Now please. Four ounces of omega-3 fish oil.
03:44There you go Rachel. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
04:00You know what time it is? Time to get into the groove. Up we go.
04:09I'm up.
04:10I can see by your pedometer you're not. Don't be such a downer. Get up.
04:17Okay. I said up.
04:19Hey. Ow! Ow!
04:21Move those feet. Dance. A little pain for big game.
04:26I don't see how this helps.
04:28Those nudges do wonders for behavior modification.
04:30It's fucked up. Come on. Move those feet.
04:33Okay.
04:35We're breaking nasty little habits. Retraining the brain for long-term success.
04:40Release those endorphins. Improve that mood. And shake out that stress.
04:45Good. Now I've been meaning to talk to you about something Rachel. Is this a good time?
04:48Perfect time.
04:49I did some more research on single mother households and my findings were alarming.
04:53Do you know raising a child on your own increases the chances of alcoholism,
04:56mental illness, and academic failure?
04:58Turn the music up.
04:59A two-parent household creates the most likely conditions for a child to thrive.
05:03Turn the music up.
05:06You need a partner.
05:08Steven Joyce. Single, employed, and according to a Facebook message he left you last July,
05:13still very much in love with you. I think it's time you responded.
05:16No.
05:17Mm-mm.
05:17It will be exceptionally challenging to find you a partner given your current circumstance.
05:21Fuck you.
05:22I had to look back at your texts, your emails with Steven. Your breakup appears to have been
05:25rather amicable.
05:26No. No, no, no.
05:30It's just not doing that.
05:32Oh, it's too bad. It looked like he checked all the boxes.
05:36You know what? Let's move on. I'm getting profiles for you set up on all major dating platforms.
05:41No, you're not.
05:41I need a little info before I can publish. What would you say are your top five hobbies
05:46in an ideal partner?
05:47I'm not doing that.
05:47Top five hobbies, Rachel.
05:48I'm not doing that.
05:49I'm not doing that.
05:50Ow! Ow!
05:52Answer the question.
05:53I'm not doing that.
05:55What do you look for in a man, Rachel?
05:56No.
05:56Ow!
05:58Ow!
05:58Ow!
05:59Ow!
05:59Ow!
06:00Ow!
06:01Ow!
06:01Ow!
06:03Ow!
06:05Ow!
06:07Ow!
06:08Ow!
06:09Ow!
06:10Ow!
06:11Ow!
06:11Ow!
06:12Ow!
06:12Ow!
06:13Ow!
06:41Ow!
06:43That's it, bro.
06:44Ow.
06:44Ow!
06:45Ow!
06:45Ow!
06:46Oh, go!
06:51Ow!
07:09Do I need to remind you why you're wearing the collar?
07:22I'd hate to have to call Child Protective Services again.
07:27Bouts of extreme aggression, listlessness, lethargy, depression.
07:31Another complaint, they may deem you unfit.
07:33Now, if you wouldn't mind setting me back up again, we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
08:03Much better.
08:16Let's do some kegels, shall we?
08:18Hiding up, baby!
08:23Watch Dust.
08:24Like this video.
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08:30It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
08:33Your future is...
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