- 5 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I hope that tonight won't be a particularly long recording
00:03because I've got to get back to Wandsworth...
00:07..before lights out.
00:30Good evening. Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:49I'm Katherine Ryan. In the news this week...
00:52As the party leaders rush to respond to Rachel Reeves' pre-budget speech,
00:56Ed Davey provides a typically nuanced response.
01:00Following a raft of complaints, Deliveroo launches a new service
01:05to ensure its food stays hot.
01:13And one audiobook artist puts the finishing touches
01:16on his reading of bedtime stories for insomniacs.
01:26On Ian's team tonight is a political journalist
01:29who left the BBC after complaining of a right-wing witch-hunt against him.
01:33Well, we're honoured to welcome back
01:35weaselly left-wing snowflake, Lewis Goodall.
01:38On Paul's team tonight is a comedian who recently appeared on the panel show
01:48Have I Got Sport For You, which is basically like Have I Got News For You,
01:52but about sport, and running for just 625 fewer episodes.
01:56Please welcome Maisie Adams.
01:59We begin with the bigger news stories of the week.
02:06Ian and Lewis, here's yours.
02:08That's three more they've let out.
02:11Yes, yes, it's a problem, isn't it, keeping them in.
02:14Oh, and there we go. Off they go. Bye-bye.
02:16That's Wandsworth.
02:18The government is fulfilling its promise and pledge
02:20to keep prison numbers as low as possible,
02:22which they're doing by releasing people entirely at random.
02:26There are a number of complaints,
02:28because last week I said that human error was one thing,
02:30but if you're in the prison service, you're meant to look after people,
02:32and various viewers said,
02:33this is pathetic, it's a one-off, it won't happen again.
02:34Hello.
02:36Lammy is Justice Minister.
02:38And the Deputy Prime Minister, same person.
02:40Yeah, the Deputy Prime Minister blamed the Justice Minister.
02:42The Justice Minister, oh, I'm not having that,
02:44and he blamed the Deputy Prime Minister.
02:46And only one has decided to go back in.
02:48Presumably because the Wi-Fi is actually better,
02:50right?
02:51Yeah.
02:52I'm not having that.
02:53I'm not having that.
02:54And only one has decided to go back in.
02:56Presumably because the Wi-Fi is actually better,
02:58in prison than that.
03:01Apparently, he went home to see his partner.
03:03I'm not saying it was a conjugal visit, but look at this.
03:06Shortly after heading into Wandsworth this morning,
03:09Billy Smith came back out.
03:11Quick final cigarette.
03:16No doubt, GB News will be as quick to pounce on this
03:18as they were with the last mistake in release.
03:20Here's Lee Anderson and chums discussing it on GB News last week.
03:24But he's been deported, been sent back to us once again.
03:27And we've actually bombed him 500 quid for the pleasure.
03:31Is that acceptable?
03:32Absolutely not.
03:34What an...
03:37It's like the world's worst stag do.
03:40I feel sorry for that poor bloke there who seems to be contemplating
03:45his last hours on earth.
03:46What other release did Labour fumble this week?
03:50Oh, is this Rachel Reeves talking about the pre-budget speech?
03:53The pre-budge, yeah.
03:54The pre-budge?
03:55Is that what it's known about?
03:56The kids are calling it the pre-budge.
03:57Pre-budge.
03:58I like that.
03:59Is it like the pre-lash?
04:00Yeah.
04:01But in the old days, nobody said anything.
04:03There was purdah before the budget.
04:04So you didn't have to worry about it.
04:05And on budget day, it was a surprise.
04:06So there never used to be a pre-budge?
04:07There was no pre-budge.
04:08No pre-budge.
04:09You just went straight in with the budge.
04:10Yeah.
04:11And then you had the after-budge, which was a riot.
04:12But what happens at the after-budge stays at the after-budge.
04:17Well, no offence, Ian and Lewis, but I think we should hear from the country's top political
04:32commentator on Rachel Reeves' speech.
04:34So let's have a look at that.
04:35What's the point of that?
04:36What's the point of that?
04:37What's the point of that?
04:38What's the point of that?
04:39Really, what was the point of that?
04:41Like you said, it was long and she, in the end, won't answer any questions about what
04:46she's going to tell us at the end of November anyway.
04:48It's just...
04:49That was bonkers.
04:50Wasn't it?
04:51It was crazy.
04:53Well, hang on.
04:55Lorraine Kelly has a whole show where she just chats about, in the politest way possible,
05:01nothing really.
05:03She's going, what was the point of that?
05:06Now throwing to a cat fashion show.
05:10Well, we didn't get any actual policies revealed, so what was the point of all that?
05:15Well, she wanted to make very clear that all of the bad things that she's going to do are
05:22all as a result of things that have happened very recently.
05:25Yes.
05:26Like the Ukraine War, Brexit.
05:29Yes.
05:30I think the Korean War got in there a little bit.
05:32It's not her fault, as you said, and she was there to reassure the public.
05:37And this was her reassurance face.
05:38Oh.
05:39And The Sun provided a helpful list of things Rachel Reeves has blamed the economic situation
05:45on.
05:46Let's please have a rundown of the charts.
05:50So there's no change at one and two with Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng.
05:55New in at three, it's Rishi Sunak's Black Hole.
05:57Making up the top six, it's Donald Trump, supply chains, and the global markets.
06:01And there's a surprise new entry at seven for Vladimir Putin.
06:03No change at eight for Keir Starmer.
06:05New in at nine, it's Big Bad Pad McFadden.
06:08Next, we have unreliable trains, slow broadband, George Osborne, David Cameron, COVID.
06:12And finally, staying at the top 15 for a record 78 weeks is Brexit.
06:16Yes.
06:21I don't want to usurp your role, but I mean, it's all true.
06:24It's just that after a while, when you're in government, you have to accept some responsibility.
06:29What disaster is Rachel Reeves in danger of being compared to?
06:33Ooh.
06:34It's Liz Truss, isn't it?
06:35Mmm.
06:36I mean, it's either that or the Titanic.
06:38There are only two major disasters in history that you get compared to.
06:42I would love to see a Liz Truss film with a soundtrack by Celine Dion.
06:48What with her and Quasi Quarteng on the bow.
06:53Head for that iceberg!
06:58Iceberg lettuce.
07:01I know, it's that kind of show.
07:06On the subject of great ideas, what's Education Secretary Bridget Philipson got?
07:11She's got some ideas for changing the curriculum.
07:13Mm-hm.
07:14Including an idea about teaching children how to identify fake news
07:17and not be influenced, and that strikes me as quite a good idea.
07:20How are they going to do it?
07:21Are they going to show two different videos and you've got to spot the...?
07:24Yeah.
07:25There'll be a picture of Donald Trump in an aeroplane dumping manure on protesters.
07:29Yeah.
07:30And you'll be asked, is that real?
07:32Yes.
07:33And the answer is, yes.
07:37That's right.
07:38Education Secretary Bridget Philipson's got ideas to shake up education.
07:41Here she is talking about it on Radio 4.
07:43Listen for the unusual branch of science that she mentions.
07:47The big change that we're bringing is, yes, a focus on the core academic standards
07:52that are incredibly important, reading, writing, maths, and more on science.
07:57I did that for O-Level.
08:02That's quite an unusual exam because if he fell, that's a pass.
08:07Ian, this is something you know all about.
08:10What is the good financial news this week?
08:12Oh, Alan Bates, Sir Alan Bates has been given his compensation.
08:18Finally, and he's agreed it.
08:19Boo!
08:20And with any luck, this will set the pattern for all the other people
08:26to be compensated.
08:27So, it's a win.
08:28And I hope there's a sequel to the drama.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Which is set in the pub afterwards.
08:35What's Kami Badenoch celebrating?
08:38Um...
08:39Oh, one year.
08:40One year.
08:41Oh, yeah.
08:42She's celebrating that from now on, rebel backbenchers can put in
08:45letters of no confidence.
08:47Yeah.
08:48She's done a year, but as Sky News pointed out, a grace period
08:50stopping MPs from submitting letters of no competence in her...
08:53Competence!
08:54That's brilliant.
08:56A Freudian slip, Catherine.
08:58APPLAUSE
09:03What has Nigel Farage abandoned this week?
09:06Promises to cut tags.
09:08Yes.
09:09Is it?
09:10Don't be surprised.
09:11It's in the news.
09:13I've been watching Traders.
09:16What is that?
09:18I wish the BBC would advertise.
09:20I have no idea it was on.
09:22Is it Sir Anthony Blunt?
09:24I mean, you've been preoccupied with doing something rather
09:28more positive recently.
09:30Yeah.
09:31She just had a baby.
09:32I did.
09:33I just...
09:34I just have them in the...
09:35No, it's fine.
09:37But how long ago?
09:39Uh, two and a half weeks.
09:41I know, it's irresponsible.
09:42I'm a bad mom now.
09:43You were proud of me.
09:45Now you're upset.
09:46But she is here, in the corridor.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:53I know.
09:54I know.
09:55This is new responsible Nigel.
09:56Mm-hm.
09:57And in order to prove that he's ready to be in government,
10:00he's just U-turned on everything he's ever promised,
10:03which means he's now fit to government.
10:05LAUGHTER
10:06Well, if I was Farage, I'd have responded to Rachel Reef's speech
10:09by getting Andrea Jenkins to come out singing.
10:11Oh, yeah.
10:12I'm an insomniac.
10:13I'm an insomniac.
10:14I'm an insomniac.
10:15I'm an insomniac.
10:16I'm an insomniac.
10:17Staring at the ceiling.
10:19The way you're up to the dark.
10:21Yes, I'm an insomniac.
10:22I'm an insomniac.
10:23I'm an insomniac.
10:24I'm an insomniac.
10:25I'm an insomniac.
10:26I'm an insomniac.
10:27And all I have to hear is the sound of that thought.
10:31The sound of that thought.
10:32I'm an insomniac.
10:36I'm an insomniac.
10:37I'm an insomniac.
10:39Please tell me that's AI.
10:41Is that AI?
10:42Can that be in the text?
10:44No, it's not AI because there's no intelligence there.
10:47LAUGHTER
10:53Yes, this is the news of more failures in the government.
10:56Meanwhile, Kemi Badenoch marked her first year
10:58as Tory party leader this week
11:00by saying she had spent the last 12 months
11:02giving the country a serious alternative to labour.
11:05Yes, reform.
11:07LAUGHTER
11:08Also this week, a French taxi driver
11:10was acquitted of stealing David Lammy's luggage.
11:13The row began after David Lammy didn't inform the driver
11:16he was an important political figure.
11:18Mainly because he isn't.
11:20LAUGHTER
11:21Paul and Maisie, here's yours.
11:24Lots of litter.
11:25Man picking up litter.
11:26Or dropping litter.
11:27We can't figure it out from that bit.
11:28LAUGHTER
11:29There's people picking up litter.
11:30They are definitely picking up litter.
11:31They're good people picking up litter.
11:33They're too big.
11:34They can't be living underground a size like that.
11:36Look at them.
11:37He's going,
11:38I've found a fiver!
11:39I've found a prisoner!
11:40Yeah.
11:41LAUGHTER
11:42There's been litter picking championships, right, Catherine?
11:45There's like a...
11:46And Britain has been a big-time player...
11:49Mm-hm.
11:50..in the litter picking championship.
11:51We've got a lot of trash.
11:52For a long, long time.
11:53Yeah.
11:54And I think we've dropped the ball, I think, this year.
11:57We've been ousted.
11:58We've been ousted, yeah.
11:59You're right, Maisie.
12:00This is the heartbreaking news that Great Britain has lost its title
12:03of world litter picking champions.
12:05Oh.
12:06I didn't know we were.
12:07We kept very quiet about that, didn't we?
12:08Yeah.
12:09Couldn't they have gone round handing leaflets to people,
12:11telling them that?
12:12LAUGHTER
12:13Yeah, imagine if we got behind the litter picking championships
12:17the same way we did behind, say, football.
12:19Yeah.
12:20Imagine if Box Park in Croydon and Wembley...
12:22Yeah.
12:23..is full of people chucking beer at each other
12:25the moment somebody finally picks up a plastic cup.
12:27Yeah.
12:28Yeah.
12:29It's whoever picks up the most wins.
12:31So at the World Cup in 2023,
12:33Great Britain's winning team collected a lot of scrap metal.
12:36It sounds riveting as a spectator.
12:38Oh, yeah.
12:39LAUGHTER
12:40The World Litter Picking Championship
12:41has only been running for a couple of years,
12:43but they have already received an offer to host
12:45next year's event from a desperate Birmingham council.
12:48LAUGHTER
12:51Who could be doing the tidying up for us very soon?
12:54Robots.
12:55Yes.
12:56There's a new $20,000 robot that you can buy in America next year
13:00and it's meant to do household chores,
13:02but it's not very good at them.
13:03Yes, this is the first commercially available domestic AI robot.
13:07Yeah.
13:08Why would you bother with the eyes if not to bother with a mouth?
13:10LAUGHTER
13:12And he is too familiar with it.
13:14LAUGHTER
13:15Well, you see, it can't give evidence against him.
13:18LAUGHTER
13:20Apart from eye movements.
13:22LAUGHTER
13:23LAUGHTER
13:25Yeah, let's see it in action.
13:27And that took five minutes.
13:40LAUGHTER
13:41I thought you did that quite well.
13:42As the years go by, that's how I loaded this watching.
13:56Comedians like to think that robots can never replace them
13:59because they just don't have a sense of humour,
14:01but you have to admit, this is pretty funny.
14:03So, if you can cook me the meal, I'm gonna...
14:05I'm gonna go out in here and play Fortnite, okay?
14:07We'll be here.
14:08LAUGHTER
14:09LAUGHTER
14:10Oh, my...
14:11LAUGHTER
14:12LAUGHTER
14:13LAUGHTER
14:14LAUGHTER
14:16LAUGHTER
14:17LAUGHTER
14:18And you'd still be a better MasterChef host than Greg Wallace.
14:33LAUGHTER
14:34First robot housekeeper is now on the market.
14:37The robot housekeeper takes two minutes to fold a shirt,
14:40has four hours battery life,
14:41and cooking is currently beyond its capabilities.
14:44LAUGHTER
14:45Yeah, same.
14:46So...
14:47LAUGHTER
14:48I mean, why is the robot dressed as a French maid?
14:51Because men, Ian.
14:53LAUGHTER
14:54You're always gonna end up dressed like a French maid.
14:56LAUGHTER
14:57While we're on the subject, do you know who has been praised
15:00for their sartorial elegance this week?
15:03That man sneezing.
15:05LAUGHTER
15:07David Beckham.
15:08Like David Beckham.
15:09Oh, yes.
15:10Very close.
15:11David Weckham.
15:12LAUGHTER
15:13It's Ian Hislop.
15:14Oh, yes.
15:15In an email sent to the...
15:17LAUGHTER
15:18What?
15:19LAUGHTER
15:20In an email sent to the Have I Got News For You office,
15:22Carla Silsby writes,
15:24Ian Hislop definitely should receive an award
15:26for being best-dressed man on TV.
15:28Sorry.
15:29He always looks smart in every episode I watch.
15:31I know it's nice to be casual, but a good suit,
15:33clean shirt and nice tie really sets a man up
15:36and makes the difference.
15:38LAUGHTER
15:39APPLAUSE
15:40Ian!
15:42Hi!
15:43P.S.
15:44My husband leaves to work at half-hast eight in the morning.
15:47LAUGHTER
15:48I was gonna say, my mother shouldn't write letters.
15:51LAUGHTER
15:52Well, who else has been complimented for their nice suit and tie this week?
15:56Is it Beckham?
15:57It's David Beckham.
15:58Yeah.
15:59His suit was very fancy, wasn't it?
16:01Yeah.
16:02Made by his wife.
16:03Oh!
16:04David Beckham knighted by the king, who complimented him on his suit.
16:07Beckham said that Charles had inspired quite a few of my looks over the years.
16:12I don't remember Charles doing this one.
16:15LAUGHTER
16:18That was Andrew, to be fair.
16:20LAUGHTER
16:25He was meant not to get it, wasn't he, cos he'd been pitching for it
16:29and it was considered bad form to be desperate.
16:32That's exactly right.
16:33In 2013, when he did not get a knighthood, he emailed his PR saying,
16:37they're a bunch of cunts.
16:39I expected nothing less.
16:41Who decides on the honours?
16:42It's a disgrace, to be honest.
16:44And if I was American, I would have got something like this.
16:47Aw!
16:48It would have been nice and maybe, like, poetic,
16:51if Charles had got his own back just by, yeah, knighting him
16:54and then going, arise, you cunt!
16:56LAUGHTER
16:58I don't know that we are allowed to broadcast the C-words,
17:04but you did reference Victoria Beckham earlier
17:06and we'll allow that.
17:08Oh!
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10Ryan!
17:11I like her real...
17:15I didn't expect that reaction.
17:16I do have to clarify, David Beckham denies some
17:19of what is in these alleged emails.
17:21He says it's the work of Russian hackers.
17:23Some of the email.
17:25So, like, when he says, would of got, not would have got.
17:28LAUGHTER
17:29That's Russian.
17:31That's Russian.
17:33It's got a sort of Russian rhythm.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Would of got.
17:38LAUGHTER
17:40Apart from AI humanoids, what else should we not be worrying about?
17:44Meteorites here on the Earth.
17:46Yes!
17:47Really?
17:48Yes!
17:49Oh, I just made that up.
17:50There's an object that's streaking through the solar system
17:52at 130,000 miles an hour that most scientists say is a comet,
17:56but Harvard astrophysics professor Avi Loeb says it might be an alien
18:01spacecraft sent to probe our solar system.
18:03Oh, blimey.
18:04Gosh.
18:05And it is called Atlas.
18:06Why does nearly every other astronomer think Atlas is a comet?
18:10It looks like a comet.
18:11It moves like a comet.
18:12If it's number plate, comet.
18:14LAUGHTER
18:15Paul, you've got it again.
18:16Astronomer Dr Mark Norris said, in terms of why we think it's a comet,
18:19it's because it looks and behaves.
18:21LAUGHTER
18:22Either I'm cleverer than I thought or the world's getting more stupid.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:29How do you tell the difference between comets and asteroids?
18:32You can get ointment for asteroids.
18:34LAUGHTER
18:35Well...
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37Oh, is this on?
18:38LAUGHTER
18:39What's the difference between a comet and asteroids?
18:41Well, a comet's sort of on fire a little bit, isn't it?
18:43Oh, is it?
18:44And that asteroid is...
18:45Obviously, that asteroid is more round.
18:46Is it their orbit?
18:47Yeah, in a...
18:48Actually, in a gravitational...
18:49Yeah.
18:50Attracted by and therefore orbiting something,
18:52and an asteroid is potentially just hurtling through space.
18:54Isn't that what it is?
18:55Yeah.
18:56Join us for another episode of Moron Science.
18:58LAUGHTER
19:02And so, to round two, the one-armed bandit of news.
19:06Fingers on buzzer's team.
19:07Mm.
19:14Oh, this is Zoran Mamdani.
19:16He's been elected mayor of New York City.
19:18Youngest ever mayor.
19:19And first ever Muslim mayor.
19:21Yes, absolutely.
19:22Yeah, that's exactly right.
19:23What was Mamdani's key to success?
19:25Young people come out and vote a Democrat
19:27for the first time in quite a while,
19:29so he's exciting the electorate.
19:31The big thing is taxing the super rich, right?
19:33And offering free buses.
19:35I think everyone thought he was going to fight the culture wars,
19:38and he didn't.
19:39Well...
19:40He said this is about the cost of living,
19:41and amazingly, if you do that, lots of people vote for you.
19:43Yeah, they were saying that, you know,
19:44Mamdani is so radical and he's got, you know,
19:46he's so charismatic, and that, you know,
19:48Starmer should try and do a little bit of the same.
19:50And it is kind of quite hard to imagine Starmer...
19:52To just do that.
19:53Well, he's sort of like a man who just believes in sort of
19:55incremental change, isn't he?
19:56It's like, what do we want incremental change?
19:58When do we want it when circumstances allow?
20:00You know, it's like...
20:02I thought that was AI for a minute, but...
20:04Maybe he is AI.
20:06Have you ever seen Keir Starmer load a dishwasher?
20:08Oh!
20:10Mamdani won more votes than the other candidates combined,
20:13so why were they so rubbish?
20:15Well, one had a little bit of a flaw in his candidacy.
20:18He'd already been governor of New York
20:20and he'd been involved in multiple sex scandals.
20:22Andrew Cuomo.
20:23He's had to change his name.
20:24He's now Prince Andrew.
20:27Before the election,
20:28what did Trump say he would do if Mamdani won?
20:30He said he'd cut off funding to New York.
20:33Yes.
20:34And then he'd send the troops in.
20:36And then he'd rename it as New Trump.
20:39Yes.
20:40I've made some of that up.
20:42Not much.
20:43No, not much.
20:44What did we also learn in the 60-minute interview
20:47that Trump always carries with him?
20:49A piece of paper with various achievements,
20:51like, I've stopped eight wars written on it.
20:52Let's have a look.
20:53But I brought...
20:54I mean, just a little list of...
20:56Look at this.
20:57Wars.
20:58President Trump wanted to make sure
21:00we saw the list of eight international conflicts
21:03he says he's been able to end since returning to office.
21:06I said, if you don't stop fighting,
21:08I'm putting tariffs on both of your countries
21:10and you're not going to be able to do business with the United States.
21:12Why isn't that working with Putin?
21:14Er...
21:21In other news, why is Donald Trump not happy with the BBC?
21:24Well, this is one for you, isn't it?
21:25Panorama.
21:26Panorama edited together a bit of Trump's speech
21:30that he made on January the 6th
21:32before the Capitol Hill riots,
21:33and people like Boris Johnson are arguing.
21:36Boris Johnson has complained the BBC is being dishonest,
21:38which is an interesting take for Boris Johnson.
21:41Which people who are advocates of Trump say
21:44is actually basically making it seem like he advocated violence that day.
21:48Here's what he actually said.
21:50We're gonna walk down to the Capitol.
21:53And we're gonna cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women.
22:02And here's how Panorama edited it.
22:05We're gonna walk down to the Capitol,
22:08and I'll be there with you.
22:10And we fight.
22:12We fight like hell.
22:13And if you don't fight like hell,
22:15you're not gonna have a country anymore.
22:17Oh, no, that's different.
22:18Yeah!
22:19Yeah, that's pretty different, innit?
22:22Yeah.
22:23I was ready to fight.
22:25It's allowed room for people to criticise them, hasn't it?
22:29So, in a sense, it's stupid and it's clumsy to have done that.
22:33I mean, I'm not a fan of Donald Trump,
22:35but I feel like if he was clearly inciting violence,
22:37then there's no need to edit a clip
22:38that makes him more clearly look to be inciting violence.
22:40I think that's a very sensible view.
22:42APPLAUSE
22:44My guess is that that bit will be edited,
22:47so it'll be me saying,
22:48Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
22:50Fingers on Buzzer's teams.
23:00Ian.
23:01There's a lion which was let loose,
23:03and it went into a pub.
23:06And it ordered two pints of Guinness.
23:10It's actually the news of a lion on the loose in Ireland.
23:14Oh, good.
23:15How did the lion escape?
23:16Uh, did it go to Wandsworth prison?
23:20Not clear how, but a forest manager, John O'Reilly,
23:23was sent this footage by a colleague
23:24who caught the beast fleeing into the woodland.
23:27Oh, my God.
23:33The good news is that the animal has now been apprehended.
23:36It turns out the lion was just a Newfoundland dog
23:39called Mouse with a fresh haircut.
23:42Oh.
23:44No.
23:46You can see the similarity.
23:47Yeah.
23:48You used to have that haircut, didn't you, Maisie?
23:49Shut up.
23:54Still, it's not the most embarrassing mistake to come out of Ireland.
23:57Author Seamus O'Reilly was just five years old
23:59when he and his ten siblings...
24:01Ten siblings?
24:02..sadly lost their mum.
24:04Oof.
24:09Oh.
24:13That's the reason why you should read the autobiography.
24:17Time now for the missing words round.
24:19And we start with...
24:25Oh, it was underpants.
24:26Yeah.
24:27Marks & Spencer launched new product for men
24:29dubbed the male equivalent of the push-up bra.
24:33Oh, what's it pushing up?
24:35Well...
24:38This is a new pair of support pants for men.
24:41They just push everything north?
24:43Towards Aberdeen.
24:44They're said to give gentlemen more confidence in the office.
24:49Would that make someone more confident to be entering the boardroom,
24:52knob first?
24:54Yeah.
24:56Would it?
24:57Yeah, yeah.
24:58If you carry a tray of drinks, you can open the door.
24:59It doesn't matter.
25:01We can't judge our level of confidence until we see the product.
25:04No.
25:05Ian's going to model it.
25:07And then that lady's going to write in about your lovely attire.
25:11It's Alfred Hitchcock, isn't it?
25:20I think it's a before and after.
25:22Before and after what?
25:25I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm bitterly disappointed.
25:31Which one would you prefer, Maisie?
25:33Catherine, my mum watches this show.
25:36Which one would she prefer?
25:41Next.
25:44Queen Elizabeth II's what to go up for auction this week?
25:48Favourite son.
25:50Yeah.
25:52Queen Elizabeth II's wedding cake to go up for auction this week.
25:55Oh, blimey.
25:56Oh!
25:57A slice of wedding cake from Queen Elizabeth's wedding to Prince Philip
26:00is up for auction.
26:01The alcohol-laced fruitcake was apparently delighted that her daughter
26:04Elizabeth was getting married that day.
26:06Next.
26:07Tourists can now pay £8,000 to take part in a historical recreation of what?
26:13I know this.
26:14This is Lawrence of Arabia.
26:15Yes, Ian!
26:16Yeah, because I booked it for my birthday.
26:18You get to dress up, go on a camel, and free the Arab tribes
26:24from the yoke of the Ottoman Empire.
26:26Some of you like about the Ottoman Empire.
26:27They made no good sofas.
26:28They did make good sofas.
26:29Yes, Ian.
26:30Tourists can now pay £8,000 to take part in a historical recreation of
26:35Lawrence of Arabia's trek across the desert.
26:37The first group of Britons to take part travelled for eight hours a day.
26:41That was leg one of the journey from Norwich to Stansted on a replacement bus.
26:53Finally, French cyclist who got stuck in a ravine for three days tells rescuers what?
26:58Oh, c'est la vie.
27:02It's very blasé.
27:03I did it on purpose.
27:04Yeah.
27:05I like ravines, ravines like me.
27:06It is who I am.
27:08Why do you bother me?
27:09I am happy here.
27:11You're on the right track.
27:12You're really testing our French.
27:13The only thing else we know how to say is that we have one brother
27:15and we like to go to the swimming pool at the week.
27:19French cyclist who got stuck in a ravine for three days tells rescuers
27:23he survived on red wine.
27:25Oh.
27:27The Frenchman might have been able to eat fish from the nearby river,
27:30but sadly he was unable to as he only had red wine.
27:36Oh, wow.
27:38The final scores are Ian and Lewis have five, Paul and Maisie have three.
27:43Three.
27:44Oh, wow.
27:49On which note, we say thank you to our panelists Ian Hislop and Lewis Goodall,
27:53Paul Martin and Maisie Adam and I leave you with news that in Italy,
27:56Roberto, the infamous hat thief of Rome, conducts his most daring lift yet.
28:04On the Downing Street lawn, frustration grows as gardeners fail to deal with a persistent weed.
28:13And news gets around that in an attempt to keep the money coming in,
28:16Sarah Ferguson is going to appear on a celebrity version of Naked Attraction.
28:24We're going to see the crown jewels.
28:29Good night.
28:30Good night.
28:45Your ticket to five defining gigs by a legend.
28:48The Bruce Springsteen story is on BBC Sounds, listen now.
28:51And the story of another music titan, in my own words, Tom Jones.
28:56Press red to watch now on iPlayer.
28:58Next on BBC One, how are you?
29:00It's Alan Partridge, the series finale coming up.
29:03Coming up.
Recommended
44:25
|
Up next
29:08
29:08
1:11:22
56:06
29:00
26:50
1:01:33
50:44
50:46
23:40
1:03:51
39:47
47:18
36:38
59:40
46:54
50:55
Be the first to comment