Arthur - Caught in the Crosswires + Framed

2 days ago

Arthur - Caught in the Crosswires

Transcript

00:00Every day when you're walking down the street, everybody that you meet has an original point of view.

00:16And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day, if you could learn to work and play, and get along with each other.

00:27You got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat, listen to the rhythm, rhythm of the street. Open up your eyes, open up your ears, get together and make things better by working together.

00:40It's a simple message, and it comes from the heart. Oh, believe in yourself, for that's the place to start.

00:49Start and I say, hey, hey, what a wonderful kind of day, if you could learn to work and play, and get along with each other.

00:59Hey! What a wonderful kind of day, hey, what a wonderful kind of day, hey!

01:05Hey, DW!

01:08Hey!

01:10Whoa!

01:15Just because someone says something is real, doesn't mean it necessarily is. Just watch.

01:21Uh, may I help you?

01:28No, Jeebs, but I can help you. I'm Jimmy Johnny Johnson, a.k.a. J-Cube, big-time genius TV producer.

01:38How? Yeah, and this is Phil.

01:41Huh?

01:42I wanna put the cross wires on TV.

01:45What's going on, Bailey?

01:47I believe we're being punked, sir.

01:50Jimmy Johnny Johnson! You got my letter!

01:54Daddy, I read that J-Cube was looking for new reality stars, and I said our family would be perfect!

02:01Rich, intelligent, glamorous. What's not to love?

02:06So, what do you say, Ned?

02:09It's Ed.

02:10Will you let Phil and I be part of the cross wires for four weeks and turn you into the biggest hit since Ice Road Trucking with the Stars?

02:19Well...

02:24You bet!

02:25Hooray!

02:27Huzzah!

02:28Cut!

02:29Okay, that was great. Let's just have a little bit more excitement this time, k?

02:33And, Ted, not too long on the pause. It's feeling a little staged.

02:36It's Ed.

02:38Okay, everybody. One more time. Caught in the cross wires episode one. Let's keep it real, folks.

02:45See what I mean?

02:51Caught in the cross wires.

02:57It's the first day of shooting our new reality show, and things could be going better.

03:03I only wish my brother Chip could be here, but he's away at school. Maybe if we get a second season.

03:10Muffy?

03:11Hi, Francine!

03:13Be out in a second!

03:14Who are you talking to? And why are you hiding in there?

03:17I wasn't hiding. I'm just talking to my fans in the private moments area.

03:24Uh, I think it's called a closet.

03:26We have to do three video diary entries every day. That's when the camera isn't following us everywhere.

03:34Ugh! I never knew it would be this hard.

03:38You've only been filming for a day.

03:40Ah, feels like years. Still, I guess it's for a good cause.

03:45What cause is that? Making people famous for doing nothing?

03:49No! Providing quality entertainment for people whose lives are not as interesting as mine.

03:57Okay. Well, I don't suppose a big star like you would want to come to the movies with me.

04:04My mom said she'd take us to galaxy kittens in 3D.

04:06Oh, I've been dying to see that. But I have to go to dinner now. Sorry.

04:13What? But it's only three o'clock.

04:16We want to use the daylight. By the way, you are great as the snarky friend. Genius! Pow!

04:27Thank you, Bailey. Looks wonderful.

04:31Goodness me! What's that on my napkin?

04:34Is that the new four-door luxury credenza on sale at Crosswire Motors?

04:43It is! Wow! That is an amazing deal!

04:49Psst! See what the kid is doing.

04:52Thanks, Bailey.

04:55Ooh! Hot!

04:58Did he just serve you scalding hot soup?

05:01What kind of an animal would do that?

05:04Um, it's not that hot.

05:07But what if it was?

05:09It isn't.

05:10Or is it?

05:12No, it isn't.

05:14I believe Mr. Cube is trying to insinuate that the scene would be more engaging if you reacted more dramatically, Miss Muffy.

05:22What Jeeves just said? Pow! Genius!

05:28Oh! Well, okay.

05:32Is the soup to your liking, Miss Muffy?

05:36Ow! Oh, no! That's way too hot!

05:39I am most grievously sorry. May I blow on it, Miss Muffy?

05:45Don't bother! Take it away! My dinner is ruined!

05:48I think we just found our star!

06:03Bailey!

06:05Yes, Miss Muffy?

06:07Why haven't my covers been turned down?

06:10And that pillow has not been fluffed!

06:13This is unacceptable!

06:14It shan't happen again, Miss Muffy.

06:18It better not!

06:20How was that?

06:25Can't you go any faster?

06:28I'd like to get there before I turn 80!

06:33I asked for a frittata!

06:35This is just an omelet!

06:43Wire! Hangers!

06:47Wire! Hangers!

06:55And if you are one minute late today, that's it!

06:59You're going back to butler school, mister!

07:02Yes, Miss Muffy?

07:05Why were you being so rude to Bailey?

07:08Oh, it's just an act!

07:10J-Cube thought it would be great for the show with Bailey and I fought a lot!

07:14It didn't seem like fighting to me!

07:16You were just being mean!

07:17Yeah, but Muffy has to be mean!

07:20She's the villain!

07:21What? No, I'm not!

07:23Sure you are!

07:25But that's the best role!

07:27Every reality show has someone you love to hate!

07:30In Top Supermarket Clerk, it was Jeff!

07:33That sneaky little weasel!

07:35I still get angry thinking about him!

07:38See? The villains are the most memorable characters!

07:42But I've also been really nice to Bailey!

07:45This morning, I gave him the cherry from my fruit cup!

07:49I think it's going to take more than a cherry to make up for your performance back there!

07:55How does it feel to be abused by a spoiled eight-year-old tyrant?

07:59I wouldn't know, Mr. Cube!

08:02I've only ever been employed by the most kind and generous of households!

08:06Yeah, that wasn't really the answer I was looking for!

08:10Wait! Genius idea coming!

08:13How?

08:15How's your eyesight, Jeeves?

08:17Excellent!

08:18Oh, yeah? Can you read this?

08:20I am so very, very miserable!

08:24Great! Now hold this onion!

08:29It was the strangest dream!

08:38I was in a pre-owned luxury sedan that hardly cost me a cent!

08:44Honey, that was no dream!

08:46There are tons of affordable top-of-the-line cars at Crosswire Motors every day!

09:00Bailey! Bailey! It's me! I need to talk to you!

09:08Don't worry! I dodged them!

09:12Do you think I'm coming across as mean and spoiled in this show?

09:17It is a distinct possibility, Miss Muffy.

09:19But I'm not really like that! Am I?

09:25No, Miss Muffy! And may I be so bold as to ask, am I a spineless jellyfish?

09:32Of course not, Bailey! You're the bravest, strongest, noblest person I know!

09:38Except for Daddy!

09:39Not quite!

09:40This is terrible! What are we going to do?

09:44Perhaps henceforth we should ignore Mr. Cube's suggestions and simply treat each other normally.

10:09Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry, Miss Muffy.

10:15It's alright, Bailey. I'll just change my shirt after breakfast.

10:19What? Did that bumbling oaf just spill juice all over your priceless new dress?

10:24It's not new, and it was on sale when I bought it. Crosswires never pay retail.

10:29Anyway, it was just an accident!

10:32An accident? You've been a butler for 50 years, and now this snob is calling you clumsy?

10:38I am 37, Mr. Cube, and Miss Muffy called me no such thing.

10:44Okay, people, look, I just need this scene to be a little more exciting, okay?

10:50So, you know, act that way.

10:52No!

10:54Excuse me?

10:56If my family isn't exciting enough for you, go film someone else.

11:00But from now on, I'm just going to be myself.

11:03Ha! Listen, kid, I'm Jimmy Johnny Johnson, creator of There's a Bear in My House, and no one wants to see a show about the real you. You know why?

11:14It's boring!

11:16You can't talk to my daughter that way. I want you both to leave this instant.

11:20That was not an accident.

11:29I asked for fresh strawberries! What's this?

11:35No!

11:37No!

11:39No!

11:40I am so very, very miserable.

11:49I can't hold this any longer.

11:53Stay tuned for more of the half-hour special, Caught in the Crosswires, a family on the brink.

12:00It's all like that. G-Cube only had enough footage for a half-hour. But they're going to air it over and over again for three weeks.

12:08Well, I certainly don't have to see any more.

12:11Me neither. And I'm telling everyone I know not to watch.

12:15I thought it was amazing.

12:19I mean, amazingly bad. I won't watch it either.

12:22Thanks, guys. It wasn't a total loss, though. I got a great idea for a show out of it. It's called Bad Reality TV Producer.

12:32That is genius! Pow!

12:39And now, we're from our kids!

12:42Who knows a fancy word for problem?

12:46Conflict. This is my second grade class.

12:49My class is talking about conflicts.

12:53And whenever we have conflicts, we have to come up with ways of solving them, right?

12:57Muffy and Bailey were pretending to have a conflict. That's kind of like what we were doing.

13:04You are going to come up with examples of conflicts or problems that any second grader could face.

13:11We had actors who explained the problem.

13:14You accidentally bumped into someone at recess and now they are hurt and crying.

13:19Ow! You pushed me on purpose.

13:22It was an accident.

13:24It appears as though we have a conflict. Does anyone have a suggestion?

13:28My idea is that Jared can offer her to go to the nurse.

13:31Do you want to go to the nurse? Sure.

13:33We're practicing ways to solve conflicts.

13:44Your table mate accused you of taking the eraser but you didn't do it.

13:49Why did you take my eraser?

13:51I did.

13:52Yes, you did.

13:54Does anyone have an idea?

13:55Andrew could say, even though I didn't take your eraser, I could help you find it.

14:02We found it!

14:04Hey, can I use that ball?

14:07I'm using it right now. I want to use it.

14:11I want to use it.

14:12I want to use it.

14:13I want to use it.

14:14I want to use it.

14:15I want to use it.

14:16I want to use it.

14:17Does anyone have a suggestion?

14:18Maybe they should share the ball together.

14:20They can both play with it and they don't have to fight.

14:27We learned that lots of problems can happen to you but there's always a way to figure them out.

14:33And now, back to Arthur!

14:37When you're a member of high society, like me, you have certain responsibilities.

14:44You must know the correct utensil to use at a formal dinner.

14:47The preemie amuse-bouche, Miss Muffy.

14:50Garden pea stuffed with pheasant ragu.

15:08You must have the right outfit for any occasion.

15:12Muffin, you almost ready?

15:14The ribbon cutting for the tire store is in 20 minutes.

15:20Ta-da!

15:23And you must be immortalized on canvas by a very important artist.

15:28This is Daddy!

15:30Wow, right?

15:32Mummy!

15:34Isn't she beautiful?

15:37And Chip!

15:39What a card!

15:40I, however, opted for something a tiny bit different.

15:44But I think it really captures me.

15:47What do you think?

15:51Brained!

15:57It's a rerun!

15:59So? It's still my TV time?

16:02Ugh!

16:04But you've seen that episode a million times!

16:06Meh!

16:08Mary Moo Cow gets better with age!

16:10Hey!

16:12And now, let's meet the winner, Buster Baxter!

16:15What?

16:17So Buster, how does it feel to have won the Best Young Artist Award for this year's Elwood City Arts Festival?

16:22Good!

16:24There you have it!

16:25He feels good!

16:27Back to you, Bob!

16:29He's the best young artist?

16:31Please!

16:32I've seen Buster's drawings!

16:34His cows are lumpy!

16:36I didn't even know he'd entered that contest!

16:39Thank you!

16:45Thanks, everyone!

16:47Mwah!

16:49This is amazing, Buster!

16:51I didn't know you could paint!

16:53I didn't know either!

16:54Until last February 3rd!

16:56What happened on February 3rd?

16:58My horoscope!

16:59It said, you will discover a hidden talent!

17:03So I tried out this paint set my mom got me, and the rest is history!

17:08What's that thing sticking out of his elbow?

17:11A brain!

17:13See, that alien is from the planet Tabuni, where they have their brains on their elbows!

17:18And it's a she!

17:20Are they all aliens?

17:22Uh-huh!

17:23I'm in my extraterrestrial period.

17:25That's art talk for when you're obsessed with painting in this one style!

17:30Well done, son!

17:31You've really captured the essence of, er, something!

17:35How would you like your first commission?

17:37Sure!

17:39What's a commission?

17:41Daddy wants you to paint my portrait!

17:44Personally, I prefer normal art.

17:47But I've got a hunch that these just might be worth something someday!

17:52Okay!

17:53How much do you charge?

17:55Uh...

17:57Well, free snacks would be nice.

17:59It's a deal!

18:00See you tomorrow!

18:04Aw, I should have asked for juice, too!

18:11You have to stay absolutely still, or I won't be able to do this!

18:16Okay!

18:24Can I see?

18:26Nope!

18:27Hmm...

18:29How about now?

18:31Don't move!

18:38Whoa! What about now?

18:40Uh-uh!

18:44How long is this going to take?

18:46About eight hours.

18:47What?!

18:49Ah!

18:51You'll just have to work from a photo!

18:54Bailey!

19:04Done!

19:06Oh, it's a masterpiece!

19:09What?!

19:11You've got to be kidding me!

19:15What? You don't like it?

19:17Intriguing!

19:19Is that her nose or her ear?

19:22Both! See, I've painted her as a Norf Troll!

19:25They're from the Centurinus system, and their hearing and sense of smell are combined!

19:30I don't want to be a... whatever you said!

19:33I want you to paint me as me!

19:36Well, it is you. It's just...

19:38Ugly! I look like a tuna melt!

19:41Daddy! Tell him you have to make me look pretty!

19:47There'd be more snacks, of course.

19:50It's okay. I can paint another one.

19:53I wasn't trying to make you ugly, but it's important to me that you like the painting.

19:57Thank you!

19:59I'm sorry I was mean.

20:01I'm sure it's very pretty if you're a...dorf toad or whatever.

20:28I can't take it anymore!

20:34She's never satisfied!

20:36So why don't you just quit?

20:38I keep thinking that if I try a little harder, I'll make something she likes.

20:42But I can't draw people! Only aliens!

20:46You just need more practice.

20:48Here! Draw me!

20:49What?! That's not me!

21:01It's how I see you!

21:03See? This is your head about to explode!

21:07And you have 18 arms because you're good at sports!

21:10You're an alien from Planet Votan!

21:11Oh, I get it! Not bad!

21:15Hey! Do me!

21:20And you're from Planet Transparix!

21:23You're clear because you've got nothing to hide!

21:26Big heart, big glasses, and two left feet!

21:29Huh! You know what? You really are an artist!

21:33No fooling! You should paint Muffy as you really see her, then explain it!

21:39Really? Okay, then!

21:41Well, it's completely ridiculous! And I hate the green! That is not my color!

21:49But green represents money! Cross-wire money!

21:54And my eyebrows look so pointy! And why did you make me so boxy?

22:00Because you're a car! Or rather, you're from the planet Car-mania!

22:06Don't you get it?

22:08Eyebrows...t...torsos...so!

22:11So! All you have to do is repaint the head and the body, make a new background, change all the colors, and you're done!

22:17Could you finish these revisions by Monday? That'd be so great! Bye!

22:24Ahh!

22:30Um...am I in the right place?

22:35Oui! Come on in! Asseyez-vous!

22:38That means, sit down! In French!

22:41So I showed her the portrait and she said,

22:44Iged! Pffft! And a lot of other bad words that I don't care to repeat!

22:52Huh! We don't paint their way, Van Gogh! We paint our way! The great Archimboldo here!

22:59I mean, does that portrait of a librarian look like a librarian?

23:09Huh! Not at all! It's preposterous!

23:13And when I, Toulouse-Lautrec, paint a portrait I am often told, but I don't look like that!

23:20And I say, you will!

23:22So, where is your portrait, young artist?

23:28Here!

23:30Sacré bleu!

23:31Mon Dieu!

23:32Yeah, except she hates it! She wants me to make a bunch of changes!

23:38Bah! The notes of an imbécile! Ignore them! You are an artist! This is a masterpiece!

23:46Toulouse-Lautrec is right! I am an artist! Hear me roar!

24:01Ah! That felt good!

24:06Here! This is you! Painted by me! You can like it or not, but I will not paint the way you want me to!

24:14Okay? From now on, I paint like me!

24:18You didn't make any of the revisions I asked for! And what's that?

24:23Oh! Something Toulouse-Lautrec suggested to me in my dream! Nice, right?

24:28Wrong! You can tell this Toulouse! I wouldn't hire him if he was the last painter on Earth!

24:34I can't tell him! Cause he's dead!

24:36Well, then I definitely won't hire him! Or you! You can kiss all those free snacks goodbye! And the grand unveiling party I was going to arrange!