- 3 days ago
This comedic retrospective mixes archival footage and scripted sketches as it revisits all the dread and occasional delight that 2021 had to offer.
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00:00:00Aaaaaaaah
00:00:02Aaaaaaaah
00:00:04Aaaaaaaah
00:00:06Aaaaaaaah
00:00:08Aaaaaaaah
00:00:10Aaaaaaaah
00:00:12Sattie Bazi ki isse bhehtar jaga nahi hai
00:00:14Khata re-charge karao
00:00:16Daao se paise bau
00:00:18Mokke ka fayda uthau
00:00:20Aar khud ko ameer banao
00:00:22Bhavya jeevan bau
00:00:24One next bet per daao
00:00:26Lagau
00:00:28Gard nahi liana chaathe kya
00:00:30Hoori dunia nahi gurnna chaathe kya
00:00:32Sapani ho jathe sek ja basrat ho
00:00:34One next bet sports batting ne
00:00:36Diya mujhe rashta hua meera rajajan season de ki se vaashta
00:00:38Main kar sakta hoon to
00:00:40Tum bhi kar sakte ho
00:00:58Tennyson
00:01:00Tennyson
00:01:02How do you want us to refer to you in the captions?
00:01:04Oh here we go
00:01:06I expect you want to know my preferred pronouns
00:01:08Well I don't have any
00:01:10I don't have any
00:01:12I do not dance the wokey cokey
00:01:14So you can call me whatever you like
00:01:16Oh I was just checking whether we should put OBE
00:01:18After your name
00:01:20No you should you must in fact
00:01:222021
00:01:24A year that made 2020 feel like a mere prequel
00:01:28With events more apocalyptic
00:01:30More unpredictable
00:01:32And more bizarre than any previous year in the history of years
00:01:36I'm here live I'm not a cat
00:01:38What's up?
00:01:40With unprecedented access to academics
00:01:42Am I lovely?
00:01:44Journalists
00:01:46So what's the carbon footprint of that lamp?
00:01:49Cable news opinionators
00:01:50Come on the bison guy was hot
00:01:52He was hot
00:01:54Billionaire tech moguls
00:01:55Is that earth water?
00:01:57Yes
00:01:58Scientists
00:01:59Just a little bit of Pfizer before we start
00:02:02Influencers
00:02:04It's okay if I tick tock while we do this right?
00:02:06Cultural commentators
00:02:07But I actually think you want me to be the first to be cancelled in 2022?
00:02:11And average citizens
00:02:13Well I am a mom first and an American first
00:02:17In that order
00:02:18It really hurts don't it?
00:02:20Oh I've used the wrong end again
00:02:22This is the story of 2021 told by those who were there
00:02:26To viewers who were also there
00:02:28This is Death to 2021
00:02:432021 opens on a note of optimism
00:03:03A range of lip smacking new vaccines promises to transform the COVID pandemic from an ongoing crisis to a repressed traumatic memory
00:03:12And youthful political firebrand Joe Biden is poised to enter the White House and heal a divided America
00:03:20Together we can get this done
00:03:23But the optimism doesn't last long
00:03:29A mob congeals in the Washington District of Columbia
00:03:32Enflamed by President Trump's false claims of electoral fraud
00:03:36There's no way we lost Georgia
00:03:38There's no way
00:03:39That was a rigged election
00:03:42Claims slavishly echoed by his media accomplices
00:03:46Donald Trump absolutely crushed Joe Biden
00:03:4975 million people reelected Donald J. Trump on November 3rd
00:03:54It really was rigged against Donald Trump
00:03:57One of the loudest trumpets of Trump's big lie
00:04:00Broadcaster Madison Madison
00:04:02Did Antifa terrorists infiltrate the camp in Arizona disguised as voting machines?
00:04:09Just asking questions
00:04:12Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump!
00:04:15It was shaping up to be a clash of really epic proportions
00:04:19Perhaps the closest historical parallel would be the battle of Hogwarts
00:04:23When Lord Voldemort set every single Death Eater to attack the school and defend his final Horcruxes
00:04:28Which
00:04:29But isn't that Harry?
00:04:30Do you go on?
00:04:32Thank you
00:04:33Of course, Trump's supporters believed that the only way to stop the deep state from destroying democracy
00:04:40Was by destroying it themselves first
00:04:42And we fight
00:04:44We fight like hell
00:04:45And if you don't fight like hell
00:04:47You're not gonna have a country anymore
00:04:49With the world's media eagerly following their every move
00:04:53The rioters stormed the capital
00:04:55Aiming to prevent the vice president certifying the electoral college votes
00:04:59One of the meaningless ceremonial roles Mike Pence usually
00:05:07Fuck
00:05:19what's behind?
00:05:27Such as game
00:05:32One expect
00:05:34원 expats
00:05:36On Washington
00:05:37That day
00:05:38Veteran Washington correspondent
00:05:39snook austin i've never seen anything anything as crazy in dc as january 6 and i go back a long
00:05:47way in dc i saw watergate i witnessed clinton's ejaculation i was in the room when bush knelt
00:05:55before zod but this was something else a cross between a violent insurrection and a chimp's tea
00:06:02party terrifying and stupid like a muppet reboot of the vietnam war the revolution is televised
00:06:09and live streamed in a blizzard of chaotic cell phone footage i thought january 6th was wonderful
00:06:17just so inspiring to see so many citizens engaging with their democracy i just think if you care that
00:06:23much you should get a shot at running the country why not overran the capital the rioters are
00:06:31simultaneously bad and good citizens committing crime yet comprehensively self-shooting the evidence
00:06:37that could later convict them of can i speak for pelosi yeah we're coming bitch oh my kids
00:06:44we're coming for you too fucking senator one of them was a bison who disguised himself as a human
00:06:50he was probably protesting because bison still don't have the vote do they and even if they did
00:06:58they'd never be able to hold the pencil in the hooves this is our house this is our country
00:07:03america i watched it unfold and like every american i was horrified but you were actually there
00:07:11weren't you in in the capital was i there that's clear footage of you yeah i was there
00:07:21but i was only there to lend um peaceful support come on out pence you fucking pussy i was simply um
00:07:30exercising my freedom of speech as a u.s american and also your right to smear your own shit on the walls
00:07:41i was writing which also counts as speech actually things got a little wild but it felt great to be
00:07:50a part of something that could change the world you know i think that this was really my generation's
00:07:57woodstock um although i don't actually know what a woodstock is
00:08:03finally after death and destruction trump calls off his confused minions
00:08:10we have to have peace so go home we love you you're very special
00:08:17he says go home
00:08:19in the aftermath when pushed by an inquiring media many involved cannot explain their actions coherently
00:08:33or incoherently i had nothing to do with charging anybody or anything or any in any of that i was
00:08:40in the wrong place at the wrong time i deeply regret my actions um you know they do not reflect who i am
00:08:51as a person or as an american or as a mom or as a me um and that's what i told the judge
00:09:00and most importantly he believed me he still sentenced you to house arrest
00:09:09i'm not
00:09:10what makes you think i'm under house arrest
00:09:15your ankle tag
00:09:16oh this this is not this thing is actually really useful it monitors my heart rate it monitors my
00:09:27blood pressure um and how close i can get to a gun store uh too near and boom it explodes
00:09:33i'm not really just kidding but i do get sent to jail straight to jail
00:09:40what led americans to attack their own government columnist penn parker has written extensively and
00:09:48drunkenly about american society today there are two americas one america believes experts officials
00:09:56and journalists like me when we say biden won the other america thinks those self-same experts
00:10:02officials and journalists like me are all part of a massive conspiracy i ask you you think the cia has
00:10:09me on speed dial surely they can do better than that i sure as shit hope so
00:10:14trump eventually vacates the white house with the shadow of impeachment hanging over him
00:10:21leaving his republican cheerleaders rudderless and backboneless
00:10:25at first republicans denounced trump then they denied they denounced him then they denied they
00:10:32denied they denounced it then they denied the whole thing ever happened then they denounced anyone
00:10:37who denounced their denials they changed positions as frequently and brazenly as your mom
00:10:44after all that business no wonder america decided not to have a president for a while
00:10:50they just got this little old curtail commanding to keep things going until they could work out what
00:10:55to do next so help me god congratulations mr president constitutional order is restored
00:11:02when in a reverse exorcism ceremony the ghost of joe biden is installed in the white house
00:11:09democracy has prevailed
00:11:12biden promised an intensive program for his first 100 days in office just in case he didn't make it
00:11:19beyond that now biden was something else he didn't say we should stick bleach up our assholes
00:11:27or mock the disabled or brag about sexual assault it was like he didn't know the meaning of the word
00:11:33presidential biden's first task is to roll out new wonder coronavirus vaccines that offer people the
00:11:41chance to get back to around 40 percent normality but not everyone is happy i'm not someone who likes to
00:11:47define himself by mainstream brands like a pfizer or a moderna especially if they haven't paid for
00:11:54product placement so i hooked up with a guy who makes his own ipa and we brewed up our own craft vaccine
00:12:00all right and here it is totally unfiltered unpasteurized it tastes like
00:12:09yeah just as good as any other ipa
00:12:20tonight researchers are closely tracking a new covid variant now spreading rapidly through new york city
00:12:26but just as the vaccines offer light at the end of the needle ominous news reports reveal deadly local
00:12:33variants of covid are going global and why do these new viruses have to come from overseas we should
00:12:40be making variants here in the u.s not importing them make american germs again say goodbye to the uk
00:12:48variant according to the world health organization it's now officially the alpha variant the south
00:12:54sober news graphics revealed the world health organization's plan to label all new variants
00:13:00in greek i don't know why the greeks agreed to manufacture all the new variants you'd think
00:13:05they've got enough on with all the yogurt one strain soon comes to dominate the news agenda delta
00:13:11first i thought the new brand names were terrible and that they could have come up with something
00:13:16catchier than delta but they said they'd looked and there isn't anything catchier than delta
00:13:21scientist pyrex flask is on the front line in the war against the variants what is so concerning
00:13:28about the delta variant well the delta variant is very dangerous because of the mutations in the gene
00:13:34encoding of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein that make it much much more transmittable than the corona
00:13:40sorry what what is that music just trying to add some atmosphere sense of menace the situation is
00:13:46serious it doesn't it doesn't need any music sure yeah that better thank you so how does the virus
00:13:54mutate well just like humans viruses reproduce you know like all living organisms viruses contain a dna
00:14:02and when the virus replicates it copies sorry what is happening now reproduction you know trying to
00:14:07keep it sexy listen to me a virus mutating is not sexy at all well it does nothing for me and i've
00:14:13looked at them very closely lose it lose it what are the differences between the variants well the alpha
00:14:19variants first detected in great britain and enough enough that is enough
00:14:27this new wave of virus variants leads to a new wave of lockdown variants and a new wave of depressing
00:14:33news reports people are forced once again to adapt their lives to save lives i was pretty lonely in
00:14:41lockdown so instead of just crying on my own all night and all day and at weekends i thought i'd try
00:14:48a dating app only swiping men in masks to be on the safe side i even went on some zoom dates which are
00:14:54actually good because they can be really efficient what did you do before you were furloughed and that
00:15:00question goes to man number one i got on quite well with one of them we even had a bit of a cuddle
00:15:08miss staphne bridgerton as the lockdowns continued to bite many turned to television for escape as you
00:15:18are doing now the first tv hit of the year is bridgerton a gritty expose of how wealthy and good-looking
00:15:24people had sex in the past they filmed it in olden times but using a cast from now which is clever
00:15:34all dressed like people from paintings got quite raunchy in places you know really mocky
00:15:41it's embarrassing because i was watching it with my mum and i don't think she's ever you know done it
00:15:47this i hope not i don't like to think about it
00:15:55oh i just thought about it this is so wonderful to see you ready to angry words i do not hear often enough
00:16:03the show's casting grabs headlines with people of color playing members of the british aristocracy
00:16:09it's great that someone who looks like me could one day grow up to become duchess of hastings
00:16:14i binged the whole thing in one go although in retrospect i probably should have been working on the vaccine
00:16:24but some privileged white men are disappointed the lavish show doesn't give a much needed break
00:16:29two privileged white men that program was worse than the statues last year the multiculturalism
00:16:37is historically inaccurate in fact to borrow a trendy phrase it is cultural appropriation is it not
00:16:45at a stroke the whites are erased from their own history it's fantasy not history well then the whites
00:16:52are erased from their own fantasy which is worse because where does that end tonight when i'm
00:16:58sleeping am i to be replaced in my own dreams by a handsome black actor and then make rough but
00:17:05expert love to myself while watching in a mirror is that what should happen is that what i want you
00:17:10want is that that what you want but while bridgerton's aristocracy is colorblind real-life british
00:17:17nobility is anything but according to no longer royals harry and megan in a riveting tv interview
00:17:24megan shared with us there was a conversation with you about archie's skin tone
00:17:32what was that conversation that conversation i'm never going to share accusing the royal family of
00:17:40racism is outrageous well no no no i will not have it i will not have it you tell me one thing that
00:17:47implies that the royal family might be racist go on okay their entire existence rests on the
00:17:53premise that their bloodline is inherently superior to that of other humans but they are inherently
00:17:57superior they have the kind of first-class genes that you can only get by consistently and dutifully
00:18:05marrying your second cousin i thought it was really refreshing to see a member of the royal family
00:18:10sit down with a tv interviewer and it not all be questions about whether they're a pedophile
00:18:15the interview is packed with earth-shattering revelations i've never looked up my husband online
00:18:21i just didn't feel a need to because everything that i needed to know he was sharing with me right
00:18:25it's hard to believe she didn't google him i mean come on you do that just to find the best
00:18:29tacos near you never mind a husband this was the kind of ghastly spectacle that we've sadly come to
00:18:35expect from prince woke and the duchess of me me me through royals do not make a spectacle of
00:18:42themselves look at the queen is she running around going look at me look at me she travels in a golden
00:18:48carriage wearing a crown that is not showing off that is pageantry traditional royal pageantry
00:18:54what would you prefer that she rides around on an electric scooter without any socks on
00:18:59she is the queen and i believe she deserves our respect after the interview prince philip withdraws
00:19:06from public life permanently by dying millions watch the somber funeral of his royal highness prince
00:19:14philip the duke of dedenburgh well obviously it was a huge blow to the nation and on a personal
00:19:21note i shall miss him terribly did you know him no no but you met him on occasion no did you ever
00:19:29maybe stand near him he was a wonderful wonderful character he made headlines for racially insensitive
00:19:36comments he was not a racist he simply had a racist sense of humor naval officer philip could
00:19:44theoretically have been buried at sea but as a new documentary reveals the sea is too full to take him
00:19:53it was called seas piracy which is all because i thought all piracy was in the seas
00:19:58sea spiracy explores the devastation caused by over fishing in a series of wonderfully vivid
00:20:04screensavers and desktop backgrounds i saw it was all about fish and i thought i love fish
00:20:11and chips yes please i love this so i watched it and now i can't eat fish anymore or chips in case the
00:20:21dolphin gets killed by a potato stuck in its blowhole you can't watch anything these days without it
00:20:26putting you off something i watched seas piracy and now i can't eat tuna then i watched my octopus teacher
00:20:32now i can't eat teachers every documentary means one less thing you can eat i'm not even going to risk
00:20:37squid game because i love calamari even bleaker than sea spiracy the 93rd academy awards rendered
00:20:47poignantly unwatchable by covet protocols and a pandemic chic dress code and the oscar goes to
00:20:55my octopus teacher so diverse yet so boring you know i would have called it the first woke oscars but
00:21:09most viewers slept through the whole thing the new look ceremony features many innovations including for
00:21:14the first time in oscar history a moment of reflection for those who have been cancelled this year
00:21:20one x bat
00:21:25Thank you very much.
00:21:55Minneapolis, Minnesota.
00:22:01In an astonishing break from tradition, a white police officer faces consequences for killing a black civilian.
00:22:11The death in 2020 of George Floyd sparked intense global protest.
00:22:16So the trial of his policeman killer, Derek Chauvin, sparks intense global coverage.
00:22:21I can't breathe.
00:22:23I can't breathe anymore.
00:22:28This black police officer is accused of the death of George Floyd in May.
00:22:32Coverage inside the courthouse shows Derek Chauvin sitting dispassionately as he is found guilty.
00:22:38Outside, news reveals jubilation.
00:22:41Tonight, the crowd outside Cup Foods in Minneapolis erupting in cheers
00:22:45as they learned of Derek Chauvin's conviction in George Floyd's death.
00:22:49Chauvin's attorney argued his client should receive probation.
00:22:53He was basically saying, we'd like the court to look into the possibility of starting an actual civil war.
00:22:59Court TV shows Chauvin barely reacts as he is led away.
00:23:04As part of his sentence, Chauvin was banned from owning firearms.
00:23:08But he didn't shoot George Floyd.
00:23:10If the court really wanted justice, they should have chopped off his fucking knees.
00:23:17Spring. Vaccination programs are blossoming around the world.
00:23:21But in the U.S., glum news reports reveal that take-up is faltering along traditional political fault lines.
00:23:27One segment of the population remains steadfast in their opposition to getting a vaccine.
00:23:34Republicans.
00:23:35In a switch from tradition, it appears Democrats are now proud to invoke their right to bear arms,
00:23:40while Republicans start to reject pricks.
00:23:43When they run out of guinea pigs, call me.
00:23:47One fascinating NBC poll said that the vaccine would be refused by 47% of Trump supporters.
00:23:53Or as he put it, a majority.
00:23:55Young people, too, are failing to roll up their sleeves, to roll up their sleeves and get the vaccine.
00:24:03A $100 savings bond in West Virginia.
00:24:06The media excitedly reveal incentives for the hard-to-vax Gen Z demographic.
00:24:12Donuts from Krispy Kreme, Shake Shack fries in New York City.
00:24:16You just think of this when you think of vaccination.
00:24:19Mmm.
00:24:19Krispy Kreme offered free donuts to the vaccinated.
00:24:23So by 2022, 98% of the U.S. population will either have COVID-19 or type 2 diabetes.
00:24:32But the biggest threat to vaccination programs, nonsensical anti-vax theories,
00:24:40which spread quickly from person to person, like something for which there is no obvious metaphor.
00:24:46Absurd theories are epidemic.
00:24:48I don't just lap up whatever the medical establishment says.
00:24:52I have been doing my own research.
00:24:55Aren't they using the vaccine to change our American DNA from within?
00:25:01Just asking questions.
00:25:03So are you vaccinated, Kathy?
00:25:05I refused to have the vaccine twice.
00:25:09So I am double non-vaxxed.
00:25:11And you know what?
00:25:14Yeah, I did get some COVID-like symptoms.
00:25:18I got a small to medium sniffle and a medium to heavy cough and a low to very low oxygen count.
00:25:28Did you have these COVID symptoms the day you went shopping without a mask?
00:25:33Oh, so this is great.
00:25:34This guy wants me to put a mask on.
00:25:36That's a deep state, elitist dress code, and you can't make me wear one, okay?
00:25:41Well, ma'am, you can't enter the store without wearing a mask.
00:25:44With your mouth covering, I actually can't read what you're saying.
00:25:46And later that day, you picketed a vaccine centre.
00:25:49My body, my choice!
00:25:51My body, my body, my choice!
00:25:55Fifteen people got COVID from you that day, and then you had a party.
00:26:00It was a COVID reveal party.
00:26:03Oh, I have it!
00:26:06I have COVID!
00:26:08Oh, come on.
00:26:09It's just COVID.
00:26:12And how do you feel now?
00:26:14I feel fine.
00:26:16It's not actually that bad of a disease.
00:26:19You know, it's just like having a light summer cold, except that maybe you need a machine to help keep you alive.
00:26:26I won't wear a mask.
00:26:28Take your hands off.
00:26:29Social media networks are accused of profiting from vaccine misinformation.
00:26:34Actually, one of the less toxic accusations they face this year.
00:26:38Why haven't you done more to stop the spread of anti-vax lies on your social media platform, Yip Yaka?
00:26:43Well, to take a step back, truth and lies are really just conflicting data streams.
00:26:48Different sides of the same coin.
00:26:51I know our users value the freedom to flip that coin themselves.
00:26:56But people could die.
00:26:58Dying to protect free speech sounds like a noble calling.
00:27:01What about not dying at all?
00:27:03It should be obvious that we don't want our users to die.
00:27:07Our share price would crumble.
00:27:10Yet even in the face of refusenix, vaccines prove effective.
00:27:15Cautiously, lockdowns are unlocked.
00:27:18It was great to get a vaccine.
00:27:20It made me feel safe enough to maybe do a few social things.
00:27:24Oh, look, who's that actor?
00:27:26He was in that thing with that woman.
00:27:27We are allowed our freedom, but it is now too dangerous to go outside.
00:27:33Sizzling reports reveal the weather is starting its annual jihad against mankind.
00:27:39The oppressive stifling heat wave searing the West is tonight delivering some of the most dangerous temperatures of the year.
00:27:46Canada reports its highest temperature of all time, causing some residents to remove their thick plaid shirts before they catch fire.
00:27:53The weather forecast shows a map that looks like America is in flames, because it is.
00:28:01So what if we just had the world's hottest day?
00:28:04Every year has a hottest day.
00:28:07That's how hottest days work.
00:28:09We also had a coldest day.
00:28:11Does that mean it's getting colder or hotter?
00:28:13I'm just asking questions.
00:28:16Heavy rain in Australia leads to a bumper harvest of mice.
00:28:21On dark and on cue, they're here in their thousands, scurrying, scratching, stinking mice.
00:28:28This isn't a mouse problem.
00:28:31It's a mouse plague.
00:28:33The macabre news only intensifies as pest controllers release snakes in an attempt to control the plague.
00:28:40The snakes must have been thinking, now humans want our help, because normally they're really on our backs.
00:28:47That's hard for snakes, because all snakes really are is backs.
00:28:53Biblical floods in Germany put the town of Kruisberg on the map, while simultaneously washing it off it.
00:29:00When I was little, the weather was well behaved, you know.
00:29:05It mainly stayed in the sky where it belongs.
00:29:08But now it's been radicalised.
00:29:10It's carrying out extremist weather attacks all over the shop.
00:29:15Weatherism.
00:29:16Is that the word for it?
00:29:18I don't know why it's so angry.
00:29:20Maybe it's been spending too much time on social media.
00:29:22You know, we've tried pumping all those gases into the sky to calm it down.
00:29:28Decades we've been doing our best at that.
00:29:30Hasn't worked.
00:29:31Then, in news footage as mesmerising as it is apocalyptic,
00:29:36water, previously considered the opposite of fire, burst into flames in the Gulf of Mexico.
00:29:43Are you worried about climate change, Gemma?
00:29:45Makes me a bit anxious, yeah.
00:29:47You know, but only about a fifth is when I can't find my phone.
00:29:50I suppose the sea literally burning should probably worry me more than that, but...
00:29:56Actually, where is my phone?
00:29:57Can someone ring it?
00:29:59Oh, it's...
00:30:00See ya.
00:30:01Panic over.
00:30:03See, it's all OK now.
00:30:05Apart from the sea being on fire.
00:30:07Eh?
00:30:10With life on Earth looking increasingly precarious,
00:30:13thoughts turn to how to protect our most beautiful and precious resource.
00:30:19Billionaires.
00:30:20The mega-rich star in self-funded, self-promoting, self-indulgent space extravaganzas,
00:30:28shooting themselves as far from the dying planet as coins will allow.
00:30:34Astronauts used to be selected based on merit, suitability, and the right stuff.
00:30:40Now it's mega-rich publicity magnets.
00:30:43It's the price is right stuff.
00:30:45Astronaut 001, Richard Branson.
00:30:48The main thing that I can tell you about is the one's back to the children's back.
00:30:52They're the earners back to their children's back.
00:30:55I'm coming from the rest of the house.
00:30:56The people who have experienced this is the one's back.
00:30:58The people who have experienced this is the one's back.
00:30:58The only reason the people who have seen this is one's back.
00:31:00Aakhirkar!
00:31:02Like this, tell me.
00:31:04I'm here.
00:31:06Where did our old son go?
00:31:08Mommy, see this.
00:31:10It's not the same thing.
00:31:12Give me money for the party.
00:31:1460's for the game.
00:31:1660's for the game.
00:31:18How much you are you capable of being here?
00:31:30The King Richard Branson in his Virgin Galactic Craft.
00:31:34Three, two, one.
00:31:36Release, release, release.
00:31:38Oh, it's an inspiring age of trailblazers.
00:31:40Yuri Gagarin was the first man in space.
00:31:43Alan Shepard, the first American man in space.
00:31:46And now we got Richard Branson,
00:31:48the first unnecessary man in space.
00:31:50I was once a child with a dream.
00:31:53Now, I'm an adult in a spaceship.
00:31:56Days later, more astonishing scenes.
00:32:01As the gentrification of space continues,
00:32:04another rich kid's dream is live-streamed
00:32:07as ultra-billionaire and world's most eligible skull,
00:32:11Jeff Bezos, blasts off inside a rocket-powered Freudian metaphor.
00:32:16Every suggestive moment captured for a smirking public.
00:32:20Go, Jeff. You are going to space.
00:32:23There was much schoolboy sniggering about the shape of Mr Bezos's craft.
00:32:30But I felt, watching the launch,
00:32:32that there was something really rather poetic and inspiring about it.
00:32:36This self-made man proudly thrusting his penis into the heavens,
00:32:42free from shame, defying the gods themselves
00:32:45with this immense, blazing phallus,
00:32:49while the rest of the world looked on in awe.
00:32:52Do you think the ship would have been better if it also had balls?
00:32:56Oh, I think so, yes. Yes.
00:32:58The size of the spacecraft is misleading in these fascinating images.
00:33:03Bezos and his fellow passengers are confined to the rocket's glands
00:33:07for the duration of the mission, as this intimate footage discloses.
00:33:14Yeah! Well done! Who wants a Skittle?
00:33:17Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:33:20William Shatner?
00:33:22Later in the year, Bezos's publicity machine
00:33:24captures every second of the most postmodern space tourists so far.
00:33:28So far, Star Trek's William Shatner is blasted into the ironicosphere.
00:33:34It is absurd that Shatner was blasted into orbit
00:33:37simply because he once played a spaceman on TV.
00:33:40In my youth, I once played a very well-received reverend canon Chatsipal
00:33:45in my college production of The Importance of Being Earnest.
00:33:49I got rather more laughs than some of the principal characters, as I seem to remember.
00:33:54Um, but, uh, but, um...
00:34:00But, but, but, just because I once played a clergyman,
00:34:04does that mean that I should now be allowed to officiate at weddings and at funerals?
00:34:09I don't think it does.
00:34:11Back on Earth's fragile crust, the starting pistol is finally fired
00:34:16on Perfect Human's trade show, the Olympics.
00:34:21Everyone was really looking forward to it because the Olympics is one
00:34:25of the few genuinely global events that isn't a pandemic.
00:34:29As the news excitedly reports, there is something lacking from the Tokyo installment.
00:34:34People.
00:34:35It's happening, a year later than we imagine, in front of empty seats
00:34:40and under an inescapable shadow of COVID.
00:34:43The world enjoys a haunting sporting spectacle.
00:34:47But when U.S. star Simone Biles pulls out of her gymnastics event,
00:34:51her mental health issues dominate the news.
00:34:55Gymnast Simone Biles, the greatest of all time, is withdrawing from another Olympic event
00:35:00to focus on her mental health.
00:35:02Yeah, I can see why she didn't want to go through with her routine.
00:35:05She just, she just wasn't happy.
00:35:08You know, sad people, they don't do acceptable cartwheels.
00:35:11And even when they try, the overall effect, it's kind of bittersweet.
00:35:14The Afghan team failed to win a medal in Tokyo.
00:35:18But at home in Afghanistan, the Taliban are about to take gold in the shooting.
00:35:24Afghanistan has been riven by conflict for centuries, despite intensive meddling by Western powers.
00:35:33Afghanistan, or more correctly, Afghanistan, is called the graveyard of empires.
00:35:39The British Empire failed there, the Soviet Empire failed there,
00:35:42even the Galactic Empire failed, despite the dynamic leadership of Lord Vader.
00:35:47But that's...
00:35:48What?
00:35:49Never mind.
00:35:51In 2020, President Trump done did do a deal with fellow feminists, the Taliban.
00:35:58For two decades, we've been searching for a military solution to Afghanistan.
00:36:02And then we found one.
00:36:04Run away.
00:36:05Submission accomplished.
00:36:08President Biden announces a full U.S. withdrawal by September 11th,
00:36:13freeing future history students from the tyranny of memorizing too many different dates.
00:36:20I suppose the American soldiers are like everyone else these days and want to work from home.
00:36:25The pace of the U.S. withdrawal surprises everyone.
00:36:29The last time a president pulled out that quickly was during the Clinton administration.
00:36:33That's a sex joke about a tragedy. I'm not proud of myself for that one. Ugh.
00:36:39U.S. troops vacate Bagram Air Base, leaving it in disarray and sending their Airbnb rating crashing.
00:36:46Is the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan now inevitable?
00:36:50No, it is not.
00:36:53But Biden couldn't be more wrong.
00:36:57The Taliban quickly take Kabul.
00:37:00They captured Kabul with comparatively few fighters, but say 10,000 reinforcements will soon be here to completely dominate the capital.
00:37:11The new Taliban claim to come in peace, a point they are keen to press home with a charm offensive on Afghan nightly news.
00:37:19There's agonizing footage as anxious Afghans flee the city.
00:37:31On the 31st of August, with the Taliban in control, the last American soldier leaves Afghanistan in the dark. Ages.
00:37:43I know they scare women and whatever, but actually, looking at their socials, the band seem pretty chill.
00:37:52Okay guys, so today I'm checking out some of the actual shots of the Taliban.
00:37:56Let's see what the boogeyman is up to.
00:37:59Cool. So they go boating. Hitting the merry-go-round. Love it.
00:38:04At the gym. Gotta work on those guns.
00:38:07Yeah, they sure do like guns.
00:38:09That's a lot of guns. This video should have a trigger warning.
00:38:12It's a gun joke, guys.
00:38:14I think they're trying to shoot our western god from the sky.
00:38:17Man, you guys are cray cray.
00:38:19Okay, so, well, there you go, ladies. I've checked it out.
00:38:22The Taliban, they like to party, and they love their guns.
00:38:25But, looks like to me that they're no bigger threat to you and your rights than the U.S. Supreme Court.
00:38:29Peace out. Like and subscribe.
00:38:31Ghoulies, hashtag the foolies.
00:38:33Also intent on turning back the clock,
00:38:38another failed state ruled by fundamentalist extremists who use religious dogma to restrict women's freedom.
00:38:47Texas. Stark news reports reveal the state's strict new abortion law.
00:38:53Texas is sweeping new abortion law now in effect.
00:38:56The Supreme Court deciding not to block the measure which bans abortions after six weeks.
00:39:01They call it the heartbeat act, but you can't hear a heartbeat in any of the lawmakers.
00:39:06Instructive reports reveal there is money to be made from abortion spotting.
00:39:10The law also allows private citizens to bring civil suits against anyone who assists a pregnant person seeking an abortion.
00:39:17Informing on your neighbor is a very Christian practice.
00:39:20If Jesus had never been snitched on, he'd never have ended up on a cross.
00:39:25Well, I wanted the women of Texas to know that I was totally on their side.
00:39:29I did some digging, and I DMed some Texan girls, and I just let them know that I was here for them,
00:39:36and that if they wanted to meet up or talk about their sexual choices, that I was really open to that.
00:39:41And I didn't hear from any of them, though.
00:39:45But that just shows you that this is really all being pushed underground.
00:39:50The 20th anniversary of 9-11.
00:39:53President Biden attends a poignant remembrance ceremony alongside former presidents.
00:39:58Trump marks the day with a somber, respectful pay-per-view boxing commentary.
00:40:03Well, I've had a lot of fights, and I like fighters, and I like the toughness of fighters.
00:40:08They don't play games.
00:40:09Riding a wave of nostalgia, Trump continues to peddle lies at fist-pumping, COVID-spiking news-making rallies.
00:40:18Make America great again, again. Again, again.
00:40:22Trump never seems to have properly gone away.
00:40:25If there is a deep state, they're not doing a very good job.
00:40:30Biden receives a boost as news surfaces of a new submarine pact between Australia, the UK, and the US, dubbed AUKUS.
00:40:41AUKUS. It sounds strange in all these acronyms, but it's a good one.
00:40:45But correspondents reveal a diplomatic faux pas.
00:40:48The French are absolutely furious because they have put years of high-level talks and high-level diplomacy into this, up to the highest levels of state.
00:40:56The French thought they should be involved. But then it would be, fuck us. Fuck us? Are you kidding? We'd be laughed off the face of the globe.
00:41:04Why not get India, Thailand, Armenia, and Samoa involved, too? Then it could be, fuck us in the arse.
00:41:12Well, that took quite a lot of working out. I hope you keep it in.
00:41:16As vaccines hold COVID at vaccinated arm's length, green shoots of pop culture emerge.
00:41:25Daniel Craig's epic final James Bond film, No Time to Die, belatedly arrives in theaters.
00:41:31The contemporary interpretation of Bond is filled with trademark stunts and thrills, but features 65% less misogyny, and has been gathering dust for a while.
00:41:41You can imagine why I've come back to play.
00:41:44The delay was worrying. Daniel Craig was much younger when they made it. Now he's older, he's gonna find it much harder to do the stunts than when he first filmed them.
00:41:53Um, it doesn't matter how long ago it was filmed, he'll be the same age in the footage.
00:41:58Are you sure about that? Because when I watched the Roger Moore ones, Bond looks about 40 years older than the women he's attacking.
00:42:07Whereas, at the time, it was fine.
00:42:10No Time to Die proves a success in luring audiences back into the theaters for the communal experience of watching Bond kill people, get out of cars, and look handsome.
00:42:22I forgot what cinemas were like. You can't pause the film when you need the loo. So I had to go right there in the seat. And I'd forgotten that's not okay either.
00:42:31I enjoyed watching it on the big screen. And as a thriller, it was genuinely tense, because a dry cough kept echoing around the movie theater.
00:42:39Showbiz coverage of Craig's swan song reignites predictable speculation over who the next Bond will be, even though it would help his undercover work if his identity was never revealed.
00:42:51The latest 007 Daniel Craig said he's ready to move on from the role, and now fans are betting big on who could take over.
00:43:00Anyone can play James Bond. And by anyone, I mean any white male aged approximately 35 to 50.
00:43:07Would you ever consider playing the role?
00:43:09Well, there is not much point in me even applying, is there? Because they do not want people like me anymore.
00:43:15Now it is James Bond double woke seven. The name is Bond, James Bond, he slash him. They've ruined the character, of course.
00:43:23You do know he spends the entire latest film wearing a dress and taking mindfulness breaks.
00:43:28I don't think that's true. Well, I haven't seen it, and I don't intend to. It is ridiculous, this liberal Taliban tearing down great men like Bond as if they were mere statues.
00:43:39And, of course, you can't even call them great men anymore. No, no. They are women without cervixes. They are destroying everything. And I mean everything.
00:43:49Who do you mean by they? They! Them! And are those, er, pronouns? Oh, do fuck off.
00:43:55But the biggest screen hit of the year is disturbing South Korean splatter jamboree, Squid Game.
00:44:05I loved it. It was a sort of Korean Great British Bake Off. There were high pressure challenges, expressionless hosts.
00:44:16Shock eliminations.
00:44:23And, of course, lots of biscuits.
00:44:26I might have a go up making them myself. Nom, nom, nom.
00:44:30Is that what you say?
00:44:32Well, here we go again. Another TV drama with an absurdly diverse cast. All Asian? Really?
00:44:39When does that happen in real life? It's simply not believable. And yet, of course, the baddies are privileged white men. How does that reflect society?
00:44:49The whole thing was hyper-woke. The guards wore masks over their whole goddamn faces.
00:44:57The dystopian drama generates finger-pointing news reports.
00:45:01It is very, very violent. It's fiction, obviously, and it's meant for adults, but that, unfortunately, has not stopped children from gaining access to it.
00:45:09Children should not be watching Squid Game. You know, do we really want our kids growing up speaking Korean with English subtitles?
00:45:15You'd think parents would be glad their kids are playing actual physical games rather than just staring at a screen all day, even if it does stop them sleeping at night.
00:45:25But mankind's long-cherished ability to relentlessly share and comment on hilarious Squid Game memes suddenly crashes to a halt when, in the most shocking event of 2021, Facebook stops working for a bit.
00:45:38The new media outage overjoys a gloating old media.
00:45:45Tonight, the massive outage. Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp.
00:45:49Oh, when Facebook went down, I immediately did a reaction video for it.
00:45:52No?
00:45:53But I was really limited in where I could post it.
00:45:57For a few hours, with nobody validating their existence, many users assumed they had died.
00:46:03None of us could use social media. It was like being Donald Trump for an afternoon.
00:46:07It was a horrible few hours. I kept staring at my phone, wondering if any messages would come through. None did. So it was like a normal night, actually.
00:46:17Facebook under fire once again.
00:46:20There is more negative news for the social network when whistleblower Frances Haugen tells the U.S. Senate that Facebook is aware it's toxic.
00:46:28Content that elicits an extreme reaction from you is more likely to get a click, a comment, or reshare.
00:46:35Her testimony receives seven likes, three loves, two cares, and an angry face.
00:46:40Well, social media makes people do things they didn't want to do.
00:46:43I didn't want to take 400 pictures of legs and hot dogs by the swimming pool. No. Instagram made me.
00:46:49I did the milk crate challenge, and I hate milk.
00:46:52And crates. I'm as much of a victim as everyone else.
00:46:57Influencers are some of the most easily influenced. And who's looking out for us?
00:47:02Facebook posts incited violence while the platform enabled human trafficking.
00:47:07Social networks come under heavy media scrutiny. In particular, their ability to ruthlessly monetize anger and despair even more efficiently than Adele.
00:47:17On your social network, Yip Yakka, users are just repeatedly expressing rage and misery.
00:47:24And it's essential to let them do that. It's optimized to keep them in that state.
00:47:29We found maintaining a sense of limitless fury keeps our users engaged.
00:47:34And if they're engaged, they must be enjoying themselves, even if they're desperately unhappy.
00:47:40In fact, especially then, because desperate unhappiness also equals greater engagement.
00:47:47Our company is now Meta.
00:47:50A month later, in a hypnotic corporate event, Facebook regurgitates itself as Meta with a new logo,
00:47:57the symbol for infinity, the company's desired profits.
00:48:01Human impersonator Mark Zuckerberg excitedly reveals diverting plans to spend billions on a virtual reality space he calls the Metaverse.
00:48:11I'm proud of what we've built so far and excited about what comes next.
00:48:15You can see it's a fantasy world because it's full of cool, art-y types, you know?
00:48:20Not like the real Facebook, full of sex pests and perverts.
00:48:23That's who's actually going to be in the Metaverse.
00:48:26They should really call it the MeTooverse.
00:48:29I was impressed. Zuckerberg's avatar actually looks like a more lifelike version of him than he is.
00:48:35All right. Perfect.
00:48:37A virtual reality world looks increasingly appealing, since in actual reality, the world is still trying to kill us.
00:48:47The much anticipated COP26 climate conference opens in Glasgow, London.
00:48:53Mankind's last chance to negotiate peace terms with the Earth, according to doom-laden coverage.
00:48:59None of us can escape the worst that's yet to come if we fail to seize this moment.
00:49:06The conference's declared mission, to stop the world getting too hot.
00:49:10There are very serious consequences for the planet if we don't keep global warming below 1.5 degrees Celsius.
00:49:16Droughts, famines, millions homeless, acid oceans, dead zones, and...
00:49:22Look, enough. Either he goes or I do.
00:49:25Yep, no problem. He can go.
00:49:28Please. Is the end of the world not fascinating enough without background music?
00:49:33What do we want?
00:49:37While the world waits nervously for whatever the conference will finally fail to announce, Glasgow becomes a focus for climate activists.
00:49:46Now that the whole BLM thing's been fixed, I had the bandwidth to get involved in climate change.
00:49:51I want to be, like, the Greta Thunberg of environmentalism, you know?
00:49:56Like, a lot of people, they stay at home, and because they don't see the reality of climate change up close, they don't even think about it.
00:50:05And so, what I wanted to do was flip the script on that.
00:50:08So, I actually went to Greenland to see the melting icebergs for myself, and then to a wildfire in California, and a beach party in Cancun.
00:50:20And was that a climate emergency?
00:50:22No.
00:50:23Uh, but you gotta relax sometimes. Avoid burnout, you know, especially with all the burnout going on.
00:50:30How did you get to these places?
00:50:32Uh, private jet, obviously. I've... I know what you're gonna say. It was bad for the environment.
00:50:37But because the purpose of the trip was to persuade other people not to use fossil fuels, technically... I mean, it's carbon neutral.
00:50:45I agree with the protesters. There is no planet B. I've had space probes looking for it for a decade.
00:50:52We have to protect the environment for the people who will live on Earth in a hundred years' time.
00:50:58Like our children's children.
00:51:01Actually, I was thinking of me, if my cryogenics technology works. I suppose other people's children as well. I'll need someone to do my dry cleaning.
00:51:10A climate deal is finally brokered, but it is not as promised. Mankind has moved from ignoring the climate to gaslighting it, which is even worse for the environment.
00:51:21India and China refused a commitment to phase out coal, preferring instead to phase down the Seychelles.
00:51:28COP26 has been a failure. It is a phase out, not phase out.
00:51:33There are emotional scenes at the conference as the compromise deal is announced.
00:51:37COP President Alak Sharma openly weeps, only adding to already dangerous sea levels.
00:51:43Just think about it. If sea levels do rise, it's only going to drown the liberals on the east and west coasts. The blue states will just get a bit bluer.
00:51:55All sounds bad, but let's just flip it. What if, instead of rising, the sea actually boils away in the heat? That could have some amazing upsides.
00:52:05It'll reveal underwater mountains that no one's ever climbed. The world will basically triple its tourist attractions.
00:52:10You'll have to rewrite the geography books. Think about it. You could go on a road trip to see the Titanic.
00:52:16Whoa. Wouldn't that be epic? I mean, an electric car, of course. I'm not a monster.
00:52:26So the conference fizzles out, and humanity is once again left to burn, drown, or virus to death.
00:52:33COVID is showing signs of a revival, aided by the vaccine's potency fading significantly after six months, like true love.
00:52:43Booster shots are required.
00:52:45Biden had a booster shot on TV. I didn't know you could inject ghosts without the vaccine solution dripping straight through onto the floor,
00:52:52but then I didn't know that ghosts had veins.
00:52:56Today's Nazis want to eliminate 90% of the global population.
00:53:06The bizarre beliefs of hardcore anti-vaxxers means a significant number still insist on their right not to get the shot.
00:53:15Unfortunately, COVID still insists on its right to infect and kill them.
00:53:19This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated. That's why I'm moving forward with vaccination requirements wherever I can.
00:53:27A dutiful media reveals the latest pandemic policy.
00:53:31With the deadline just hours away for all New York State healthcare workers to get vaccinated, officials are taking drastic action.
00:53:38To bend the arm of anti-vaxxers and jab a needle in it, governments plan mandatory vaccination programs.
00:53:44Stark reports reveal U.S. government employees must get a shot or get shot of their jobs.
00:53:51I'm going to be terminated. It's going to be my last day.
00:53:55News channels are filled with experts calling for a widespread return to masks.
00:54:00When you're in an area which is almost the entire country in which there's a high degree of viral dynamics, you should wear a mask.
00:54:08Which non-experts refuse to take on the chin in predictably angry scenes.
00:54:18Some broadcasters are provocatively anti-mask.
00:54:21Next time you see someone in a mask on the sidewalk or on the bike path, do not hesitate.
00:54:26Ask politely but firmly, would you please take off your mask?
00:54:29Science shows there is no reason for you to be wearing it.
00:54:32Your mask is making me uncomfortable.
00:54:35Masks are death traps, especially for children.
00:54:39Kids cannot breathe through masks. That's why so many children die on Halloween.
00:54:44That and ritual satanic sacrifice.
00:54:48Kathy, have you ever tried to pull someone's mask off?
00:54:51Okay, so actually, I'm going to stop you right there.
00:54:53I am mask septic actually, so I have a right to prevent my eyes from seeing images of masks that offend my faith.
00:54:59Your mask makes me uncomfortable! Eat air, sheeple! Free your faith! Wrong!
00:55:07It's easy for you to sit there, in your mask, looking smug about it. At least I assume you're looking smug.
00:55:14As Christmas approaches, urgent news of the gift no one wanted.
00:55:20This morning, another worrying new COVID variant surging abroad.
00:55:25A highly contagious new variant, Omicron.
00:55:28The new Omicron variant is the most heavily mutated coronavirus so far.
00:55:32It has 30 mutations to its spike protein, which means that current vaccines may not be as effective,
00:55:38and you could see an aggressive upward trend in cases, hospitalizations, and deaths.
00:55:45Why have you not put any music on this?
00:55:47Well, you said that we should...
00:55:48No! You should put some music on that bit. Something upbeat. Otherwise it would be very depressing.
00:55:56Despite this new danger, some broadcasters still spout dangerous rhetoric.
00:56:00Photocats! Photocats! Photocats!
00:56:02I want to thank you for watching tonight, and I want to leave you with this question.
00:56:06If masks protect us and evolution is real, as the liberals insist it is, then why haven't we evolved skin masks?
00:56:15Huh? Just asking questions. Think about it. Think about it.
00:56:21Madison, can we talk about your attitude towards COVID and vaccines?
00:56:26That's what you want to talk about? That's so boring.
00:56:29Aren't you going to ask me about my close friend Kyle Rittenhouse?
00:56:32No. Because your liberals lost that one, didn't you? Oh, boo-hoo. Poor you.
00:56:36He's a real star. He should make a record. I'd buy it.
00:56:40As long as it wasn't rap or something like that.
00:56:43Are you going to ask me about Putin? He used a missile to blow up one of his own satellites.
00:56:49And that's a show of strength. You know, that's like punching yourself in the face to show how strong you are.
00:56:54And that's Putin for you. You need a strong man. Mad man. I love him. I would.
00:56:59Don't you want to talk about Jelaine Maxwell and Prince Andrew? Huh?
00:57:03Actually, I can't talk about that in case I'm called as a witness.
00:57:06I just want to know, why do you tell your viewers not to get vaccinated or wear masks?
00:57:10Well, I never say that. I'm just asking questions.
00:57:14It seems quite a bad business model, killing off your audience by giving them incorrect health advice.
00:57:18I would say it's a refreshing, radical stance that continuously brings in new viewers so the audience figures remain about level. It's a careful balance.
00:57:28And have you been vaccinated, Madison?
00:57:33I told you. I wasn't going to talk about that. What did I tell you?
00:57:37Madison, have you been vaccinated? That's all I want to know.
00:57:39What did I tell you?
00:57:40In line with your network's corporate policy.
00:57:42Pardon me, asshole?
00:57:43I'm just asking questions.
00:57:44Pardon me, asshole?
00:57:46I think that's the end of the interview. Goodbye. Thank you very much.
00:57:49I'm just asking questions, Madison.
00:57:50You told me. I told you to not ask me that question. You gonna take me two hours. You waste my time. I gotta go.
00:57:55Get out of my studio. Just get the fuck out. Hey, you want to get a little shot of this? Get this for your social media. You kiss it, baby.
00:58:05Here are the two Americas again, each side believing the other side is trying to kill it or enslave it, whether it's masks or vaccines or votes.
00:58:14They constantly yell at each other, amplified through social media and TV.
00:58:19This is nothing to do with hope. This is about power.
00:58:23But I wonder, if these two sides actually sat down with each other as human beings in real life and took time to listen to each other, then maybe, just maybe, that could spark a fucking furious fistfight.
00:58:37Bam, bam, bam. Wouldn't that be a spectacle?
00:58:40We end the year as we began it.
00:58:44We're not race.
00:58:45Polarized and divided.
00:58:46Progressives versus conservatives.
00:58:48Vaxxed versus unvaxed.
00:58:50Science versus whatever the fucking mental opposite of fucking science is.
00:58:56Some would say that we are in the storm of a culture war. Others violently disagree.
00:59:02But there is some hope.
00:59:04While they may not have made everything normal again, vaccines have given us the normalest of the new normals so far.
00:59:12A chance to live, learn and even love again.
00:59:18How did your internet dating go, Gemma?
00:59:20Oh, Geoff. Well, we got on well on Zoom and so we met for a date in a park. Exciting.
00:59:26I was halfway through telling him about my collection of pottery pigs when he got a text saying that he'd tested incredibly positive for COVID and had to go into isolation straight away.
00:59:36Since then, I haven't heard anything from him. No texts, no emails, nothing.
00:59:42So I can only assume he's either dead or in hospital on a ventilator.
00:59:48I just want to take this opportunity to say, Geoff, if you're watching this with a tube down your throat, please just send me a text to let me know that you're still alive.
00:59:59Oh, my operating system's going to update tonight. Something to look forward to.
01:00:15What did you learn in 2021, Cathy?
01:00:18The main thing I learned, um, never bomb a mask factory while wearing an ankle tag.
01:00:24That's how they found me so quickly.
01:00:27Okay, time's up.
01:00:29Oh, well, okay. There you go. Let's get on with it.
01:00:32I hope you're filming this. This is the deep state in action and they say it's not real.
01:00:36Your masks are offending me. Ow! That's, you're hurting my arm.
01:00:39Oh, I can't breathe. This is oppression.
01:00:42And what did you learn in 2021, Sarah?
01:00:44Well, I learned, Mark Zuckerberg is unaware that I actually already built the metaverse five years ago.
01:00:50We've all been in it since 2016.
01:00:54What have you learned in 2021?
01:00:56I learned that when I say the phrase, I was in the room when, people tend to leave the room.
01:01:02What did I learn in 2021? I learned that nobody learned anything in 2020.
01:01:07I have learned that it is always wise to keep your OBE to hand. O-B-E. One bottle enclosed. It's naughty, isn't it? But it's quite fun. I think it's fun.
01:01:26So what did you learn in 2021, Gemma?
01:01:28Oh, I had to learn where my tonsils are so I could do a COVID test.
01:01:32They're in a bottle in the cupboard, so that makes doing one a bit easier.
01:01:36We done?
01:01:38All right. What's up, guys? Just wrapped up with Netflix. Can't wait for you guys to see what I've been up to.
01:01:43Can't say too much. Kind of a hush-hush sort of deal.
01:01:45Can anyone guess what it is? Leave a comment. Like, subscribe.
01:01:48Hashtag fooling with the ghoulies.
01:01:50Well, that's it. I better get back to work. That's okay.
01:01:54What is it you're working on?
01:01:56It's a concerning new variant that I just discovered.
01:02:02Get right away!
01:02:20Get right away!
01:02:23Get right away!
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