A group of superstar influencers finds themselves in a deadly trap when they are lured to a reclusive billionaire's mansion, only to discover it's the lair of an evil vampire. Their only hope for survival lies with a famous online gamer and an old-school vampire hunter. This horror-comedy blends modern internet culture with classic vampire lore for a thrilling and humorous ride.
slayers 2022 vampire horror comedy influencers gamer full-movie
#SlayersMovie #VampireFilm #HorrorComedy #FullMovie
slayers 2022 vampire horror comedy influencers gamer full-movie
#SlayersMovie #VampireFilm #HorrorComedy #FullMovie
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FunTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:30Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:03:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:03:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:04:29Hey, hey, hey, hey, you lucky fucks to come out to his retreat in New Mexico
00:04:33and chat about a huge ambassador deal. I am talking millions.
00:04:37That guy?
00:04:39Steven motherfucking Rector. This shithead is a number one on the kill list.
00:04:45Unlike many of his nefarious masters of the universe peers, his secrets make Bernie fucking Madoff's Ponzi scheme and that fire festival, which I attended, by the way, look like humanitarian missions.
00:04:57That's right, this dude and his perfect ice queen wifey.
00:05:01I mean, what we're talking about here is a path to a healthier future.
00:05:05Our trials have worked.
00:05:13This will be my life, this will be my life, this will be my life, this will be my greatest legacy.
00:05:15Blood sucking beasts in a long line of mass murdering fang phantoms, waiting to pounce with a product that'll lead the lambs right to the slaughter.
00:05:26Steven Rector's saving the planet, Flynn.
00:05:29David says all ten of his homes are carbon neutral, and he donated like a cool half billion to the Amazon rainforest, which we love.
00:05:37Maybe he's not so terrible.
00:05:38We help farmers grow the food that grows a life.
00:05:44We foster care for the young and young at heart.
00:05:48In a growing world forever challenged by Mother Nature and the laws of uncertainty, rest assured that the good people of Rector Biotech are looking out for your future.
00:05:58Building a community, a family, and a legacy that will live on and on, long after we're gone.
00:06:04Rector Biotech, building a legacy that will live on and on.
00:06:13You know, I didn't fight with you about dating her.
00:06:17Okay, I didn't have a shit fit when you announced your engagement publicly without telling me.
00:06:22Jack, I mean, this is just, this is too much.
00:06:26Like, you're better than this.
00:06:30Well, I appreciate you caring.
00:06:31Flynn, honestly, it's not that big a deal.
00:06:35You know, we can get married anywhere, anytime.
00:06:37Anytime.
00:06:38Yeah.
00:06:38You invited everyone we know today.
00:06:42And now, because she wants to go after some creepy billionaire's wallet, you're throwing out your own wedding day?
00:06:47I mean...
00:06:48All right, it's not that simple, okay?
00:06:51You know, I've got responsibilities now.
00:06:53Ugh, what is the fucking problem?
00:06:54Doesn't she know this could change our lives?
00:06:56Do you feel enough on the house in two months?
00:06:57Maserati wants to car us back?
00:06:59Liz's beauty kit didn't quite perform as well as we'd hoped?
00:07:02Of course it didn't.
00:07:04Everything that she touches turns to shit.
00:07:07She's dragging you down, dude.
00:07:08All right, Flynn, stop.
00:07:09Cut her some slack.
00:07:10You need to give Liz a break.
00:07:11No, fuck that.
00:07:12She's nothing but a gold digger, and I'm done hearing your excuses for her.
00:07:15Wow.
00:07:15Hey, are you guys ready yet?
00:07:18Yo!
00:07:19Pass that.
00:07:20Motherfucker face it.
00:07:21I would never...
00:07:23Welcome to the Wild West of equal opportunity mindfuckery, baby.
00:07:28Courtesy of your favorite mommy blogger, half-naked, Instamodel, facetuned, Snapchatter, and semi-famous pop star on your TikTok.
00:07:36My babies, yeah.
00:07:38But the way I see it, this group of massively popular shitheads might just be the key to shutting down the whole damn vampire cabal.
00:07:47Fuck!
00:07:48Pre-wedding super top secret mission with the gang.
00:07:50Hashtag shh.
00:07:51Hashtag fun in the sun.
00:07:52Hashtag wifey.
00:07:53Can't believe my BFF is about to get married.
00:07:55Hashtag party bus.
00:07:56Hashtag SOS.
00:07:57Hashtag we getting lit.
00:07:59Say bye-bye to this pretty-faced ladies.
00:08:01Hashtag sexy.
00:08:02Hashtag fall for likes.
00:08:03Hashtag bachelor.
00:08:04Handsome kboy.
00:08:04Insta-famous.
00:08:05Insta-famous.
00:08:08We love you, stream team.
00:08:35Hey guys.
00:08:36So, you're probably wondering what happened to the wedding.
00:08:39Call it off.
00:08:40Did Liz get cold feet?
00:08:42Hell no.
00:08:43No way, baby.
00:08:44We're all good.
00:08:45We're just on a super secret pre-wedding side mission.
00:08:48Say hi guys.
00:08:49Say what up.
00:08:49What up?
00:08:50Say what up, Clay?
00:08:51Okay, okay.
00:08:52So, we're good and we will check in with you later.
00:08:55Love you.
00:08:56Love you.
00:09:08David, what the hell?
00:09:09I thought you said this thing had seamless Wi-Fi.
00:09:11Huh?
00:09:11It's working just fine with me.
00:09:14Same here, babe.
00:09:15Probably just a good zone.
00:09:18Ugh!
00:09:19Man, me just being such a whiny little bitch.
00:09:22Who?
00:09:23Jason, you know my side thing?
00:09:25Okay, leave it outside.
00:09:26Bye.
00:09:27I swear sometimes I really miss toxic masculinity.
00:09:31Hey, I'm still toxic to masculine.
00:09:33What?
00:09:33Bitches.
00:09:34Oh, what?
00:09:36Uh, I thought Jason was your boyfriend.
00:09:38Boyfriend?
00:09:40Don't get it twisted.
00:09:41You said you were gonna marry him.
00:09:43I say a lot of things.
00:09:44I think maybe you're just looking for like a Disney fantasy relationship with a prince charming.
00:09:50When maybe you need to find the patience because it couldn't keep it and get past your own fears.
00:09:56Thank you, but I really don't need your hetero-normative ideas.
00:10:00I'm romance.
00:10:00I don't need a normative.
00:10:01Dude, I'm a lesbian.
00:10:03Exactly.
00:10:03Shackled by labels.
00:10:06You know, David, where are we at?
00:10:07Laws?
00:10:08We're over an hour late and the sun is going down.
00:10:10Not my fault.
00:10:11It's this way.
00:10:12It keeps losing signals.
00:10:14Loving our location.
00:10:15Oh, God.
00:10:15He seriously just missed a word.
00:10:17Oh, my God.
00:10:17Yeah, David, quick question.
00:10:19Do you think that you could manage to get us there?
00:10:21Shut up.
00:10:22You guys are voting my constitution.
00:10:24Is this ruining your concentration, David?
00:10:26Is this this?
00:10:27David!
00:10:28I don't know what's the pressure.
00:10:28David, did this ruin your concentration?
00:10:33It's not funny.
00:10:34Hey, get it.
00:10:36Come on.
00:10:37They fall back in my kids.
00:10:38Yeah, guys, stop.
00:10:41You can't drive, David.
00:10:43Really?
00:10:43Do you think that's really important, you guys?
00:10:45Who the fuck is this guy?
00:10:58Don't worry.
00:10:59I'll handle this.
00:10:59Well, that's a terrible idea.
00:11:01Well, he seems fun.
00:11:15Shut up.
00:11:15I hear you.
00:11:16Jack, why don't you just go tell him the word?
00:11:19I mean, I don't think he's going to care.
00:11:21Like, I wouldn't talk to him.
00:11:22Is that cool, guys?
00:11:23I got this.
00:11:24Do you?
00:11:24Hey, buddy.
00:11:29Yeah, sure, buddy.
00:11:30Uh, okay.
00:11:31Hi.
00:11:31Sir, how are you doing?
00:11:32I'm Jack.
00:11:33I'm supposed to give a shit.
00:11:34Okay.
00:11:34Hey, I, um, I love your sunglasses.
00:11:38Are they vintage red bands?
00:11:40Fuck off.
00:11:41Okay, I think we're done.
00:11:42You got no idea how much trouble you're in, do you?
00:11:47Look, dude, you came out of nowhere.
00:11:49We didn't even hit you, and you're fine.
00:11:51What's your problem?
00:11:52My problem is you.
00:11:56Turn around, get back in your little party bus, flip a bitch, and get the fuck out of here.
00:12:01Or, and I promise you, you'll suffer.
00:12:06Adult's adult.
00:12:07You're kind of freaking us out.
00:12:08Look, we're really sorry.
00:12:10We just want to pass through, so if there's anything we can do, uh, maybe you need, uh,
00:12:15some extra money.
00:12:15And if you want to...
00:12:16Oh, shit.
00:12:17Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:18Hey, hey, hey!
00:12:23You've been warned.
00:12:28Fuck it, kids.
00:12:29You can't resist an invite to act like self-important assholes.
00:12:34Perfect prey for evil predators like Richter.
00:12:37Not to mention the temptation of fame and money.
00:12:40Now, this I know too well.
00:12:45Dude, that's so lame.
00:12:48Maybe if you didn't get a DUI, you wouldn't have to use anything for me.
00:12:52What?
00:12:52I don't know.
00:13:05Oh, my God.
00:13:10You are not about to back out on this.
00:13:12Don't you think it's a little shame?
00:13:15An older record label exec inviting two teenagers to his hotel room for a meeting so we can listen
00:13:21to our demo, Mom.
00:13:22This is how it happens.
00:13:23What?
00:13:24Gang ring.
00:13:28Molly and Alex from Sip, Rub, and Trash.
00:13:35That's supposed to be a listening party.
00:13:37Are you tripping right now?
00:13:39I'm tripping.
00:13:41This shit is really happening, girl.
00:13:45Al?
00:13:46Alex.
00:13:48Al.
00:13:49Jackpot, Fiat.
00:13:52Fuck you, dude.
00:13:54You scared the crap out of me.
00:13:55What's your problem?
00:13:57Something's off.
00:13:58Stop being such a straight edge.
00:14:00Just play the demo, have a beer.
00:14:03We'll set a mood.
00:14:04Okay, now what?
00:14:13We wait.
00:14:14First off, the hotel suite is not even that nice.
00:14:18But when you hear somebody in the other room speaking in an ancient double tongue with one
00:14:23of them low demonic filters on it that you hear in every other exorcist film, you should
00:14:29probably take the heat.
00:14:34I'm Alex, lead singer of Suburban Trash.
00:14:40And this is Molly, the bassist.
00:14:45We've had a few minutes.
00:14:54Oh, fuck.
00:15:01I love you, girl.
00:15:04Guess who?
00:15:07I'm sorry.
00:15:10I'm screwed up.
00:15:11Where are you now?
00:15:12I love him.
00:15:13Don't worry.
00:15:14Honey.
00:15:15Honey.
00:15:16I'm going to take away.
00:15:22Every slayer needs his own origin story.
00:15:25Even your old buddy, Elliot Jones.
00:15:29Really?
00:15:30Where are you?
00:15:31I'm sorry.
00:15:32Hey.
00:15:33Honey.
00:15:34Honey.
00:15:39That night changed everything.
00:15:41Some people mourn like my ex-wife with a bunch of pills and a new boyfriend named Enrique.
00:15:55But some searched for the truth.
00:16:00And in my case, the truth had fangs.
00:16:05And thus my new life began.
00:16:09As bodies began to mount, there was a pattern.
00:16:11Folks being murdered, more like harvested, all had the same thing in common.
00:16:22Their blood.
00:16:24The rarest blood on earth.
00:16:29A bloodline leading back to these dumb fucks.
00:16:32What?
00:16:53What?
00:16:54What?
00:16:54What?
00:16:55How does it feel?
00:16:56Jack.
00:17:08What's up?
00:17:09Look at this.
00:17:12What is this, from the Winnebago guy?
00:17:14Yeah, what if he wasn't threatening us, he was trying to warn us?
00:17:18You've been warned.
00:17:20What, with this?
00:17:22Come on, calm down, Q-and-up.
00:17:25You don't know anything.
00:17:26What if this is legit?
00:17:28Oh, my God, you always think the worst.
00:17:31Did it ever occur to you that this might turn out to be a good thing?
00:17:34Holy shit.
00:17:35Flynn, come here, look.
00:17:37Jack, Jack, come here.
00:17:38You have to see this.
00:17:39Come on.
00:17:40Listen, I promise you, it's gonna be fine, okay?
00:17:43Oh, my God.
00:17:55Look, is that Harry Rector?
00:17:56That's Stephen's nephew.
00:17:58He has the most amazing animal protection nonprofit.
00:18:01I think I might be in love.
00:18:04Mm-hmm.
00:18:05What?
00:18:06You told me to grow up.
00:18:07Oh, shit.
00:18:18Now that's cool.
00:18:31You must be the stream team.
00:18:34You're discharged.
00:18:35Welcome to Rector Manor.
00:18:45Come on.
00:18:46I just, I just love it here.
00:18:48Okay, my Julian airs.
00:18:49We're getting an exclusive look inside Rector Manor.
00:18:54Is it true there's a cryo chamber?
00:18:56I love cryo.
00:19:01Look, little baby fetus.
00:19:03Welcome, everyone.
00:19:18We are so excited to have you as our guests.
00:19:21I'm Beverly Rector.
00:19:24You're iconic.
00:19:26Oh, you're so sweet.
00:19:28You must be Liz Anthony, queen of online shopping, which makes you Jack Chambers, king of YouTube.
00:19:37And Jules J., online social goddess.
00:19:42Oh, I wouldn't say goddess.
00:19:45Why are people saying that all the time?
00:19:47No.
00:19:47And you are...
00:19:49David.
00:19:51Great.
00:19:53Flynn Chambers.
00:19:55Twitch icon and pro gamer, am I right?
00:19:58Uh, not exactly pro yet.
00:19:59I hear you have an important match this evening.
00:20:02Yeah.
00:20:02It's the, um, modern warfare semifinals.
00:20:05Oh, I love that game.
00:20:07No shit?
00:20:08Yeah.
00:20:09You mind if I watch?
00:20:10You mind if I watch you play?
00:20:11You mind if I watch you?
00:20:12Flynn.
00:20:23Flynn.
00:20:25Flynn.
00:20:26You all right, honey?
00:20:28Just ignore her.
00:20:29She's fine.
00:20:30Seriously.
00:20:35Ready to see the rest of the compound?
00:20:38Yes, please.
00:20:39All of mankind is divided up into two species.
00:20:45Normies and the Vampiro Nostra.
00:20:48Syndicates and families with different styles, but all after the same thing.
00:20:54Our fucking blood.
00:20:56And this is our fitness center.
00:20:59Any slayer worth two shits and a nickel knows a honeypot when he sees one.
00:21:03Ah.
00:21:04Hey.
00:21:24Hey, aren't you that girl?
00:21:26Am I?
00:21:29You retweeted my call to action to save the whales to, like, seven million people.
00:21:34That one thought black really made a difference, especially to the whales.
00:21:37Well, what can I say?
00:21:38I love Willie.
00:21:40I'm pretty Willie.
00:21:42The movie.
00:21:44The whales.
00:21:47Harry Richter.
00:21:49Jules.
00:21:50Jules J.
00:21:51You like to ride, Jules?
00:21:55Excuse me?
00:21:57Horses.
00:21:58Oh.
00:21:59Oh.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:01Yeah.
00:22:01Yeah, I love horses.
00:22:04Ponies.
00:22:05I really love all sizes.
00:22:08Knock, knock.
00:22:09Hey.
00:22:10How's it going?
00:22:10I'm good.
00:22:11How are we doing in here?
00:22:12How you doing, man?
00:22:12I'm sorry.
00:22:13I'm Jack Chambers.
00:22:14Is this car bothering you?
00:22:15Fuck off.
00:22:16Hey, fuck off.
00:22:17Although, actually, I, uh...
00:22:19Oh, um...
00:22:20Look at that.
00:22:23That's so fun.
00:22:24Uh, this has been great, but we've got to go.
00:22:26We really have to go.
00:22:27Yeah, come on.
00:22:28Dude, it was lovely meeting you.
00:22:29Nice.
00:22:30Yeah, okay.
00:22:31Let's go.
00:22:32Come on.
00:22:33Maybe you have to stay this lady.
00:22:35We can take a ride.
00:22:36Okay.
00:22:38Yeah, for sure.
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:49David Dean, stream team manager.
00:22:53Hi.
00:22:54Hey, David, how's your wife?
00:22:56Yeah, David, where's your ring?
00:22:58Have you seen pregnant or something?
00:23:00Okay, I get it.
00:23:02Hey, guys, it's Jules, and...
00:23:03Look at them.
00:23:05Ignoring all the signs.
00:23:08Hey, guys, what's up?
00:23:09It's Jules.
00:23:10It's so weird.
00:23:11Everybody but her.
00:23:12What's wrong?
00:23:13My puss is not going on.
00:23:15Oh, Beverly, I just got a ping from downstairs.
00:23:17They're ready for David.
00:23:18Of course.
00:23:20Business Affairs would like to go over some deal points.
00:23:22Oh, yeah, great.
00:23:25Separating the group one by one.
00:23:27Jack, Flynn, Liz, Jules, it's time for you to meet Mr. Rector.
00:23:31Right this way?
00:23:32Typical vampire pack hunting tactics.
00:23:35You guys have this on me?
00:23:37Yeah, we got it.
00:23:44This is where I leave you.
00:23:45I'm sorry.
00:23:47This is where you leave me?
00:23:49Now, this part, I admit, it's a bit of a mystery.
00:24:00So yours truly is going to use a little creative license and paint a picture.
00:24:04Like that time in Miami when a Cuban vamp syndicate lured the bodyguard of a congressman to a penthouse.
00:24:10That bastard never saw it coming.
00:24:15David Dean, stream team man.
00:24:17Which brings me back to this idiot schmuck turd.
00:24:20Uh, I was told to meet here to go over at the deal points.
00:24:23That's not the right music.
00:24:25Let's try this.
00:24:26I am your master.
00:24:28That's what I am your master.
00:24:30That's what I am your master.
00:24:30That's what I am your master.
00:24:36Alright, I know what you're thinking.
00:24:38Why don't they just get to it and waste this asshole?
00:24:42I'll tell you, it's a chemical thing.
00:24:45They say the more anticipation and fear that the victim can experience before the bloodletting,
00:24:50makes the blood taste even sweeter.
00:24:53It is.
00:25:20So, where is Stephen?
00:25:37Natalie didn't tell you?
00:25:38Not yet.
00:25:40Stephen can't actually see you.
00:25:43Excuse me?
00:25:44My husband is being impaired, and he's only able to interact in person with those who've
00:25:49taken the vaccine.
00:25:50Our vaccine.
00:25:52So, without further ado...
00:25:54Greetings, my friends.
00:25:58I thank you for making the journey with such short notice.
00:26:01Of course, sir.
00:26:02We are a massive fan.
00:26:04We are.
00:26:05I suppose you might be wondering if our Beverly and I took such an interest in your little
00:26:08outfit.
00:26:09Definitely.
00:26:10After a century of infecting our planet with greed, toxins, and overpopulation, the planet
00:26:16is fighting back.
00:26:18The viruses won't stop.
00:26:20They will continue to mutate.
00:26:21So, we need to build a new kind of human.
00:26:23Stronger.
00:26:24Immune.
00:26:25True warriors.
00:26:27You all can be the match that lights the fire.
00:26:29Huh?
00:26:30Amazing.
00:26:32Really?
00:26:32What my genius husband is trying to say is that we think you can help us promote the
00:26:36Rector Foundation's new super vaccine that can turn millions of possible deaths into something
00:26:41even more amazing than just being alive.
00:26:43Being totally immune to everything.
00:26:45And for your promotion to your combined user base of 55 million plus, we're going to pay
00:26:51you to the tune of 15 million dollars.
00:26:53And that's just year one.
00:26:56Holy shit.
00:26:57Oh, man, I got a lot of gold.
00:27:00Stack that bread and romano's.
00:27:01Anything is possible.
00:27:02Yeah.
00:27:05I just want them bad.
00:27:07I just want them bad.
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:09I just want them bad.
00:27:10I just want them bad.
00:27:10I just want them bad.
00:27:10I just want them bad.
00:27:10Oh, we're in.
00:27:12Yeah.
00:27:13Nope.
00:27:15Uh, um, do you mind giving us a beat?
00:27:20Of course.
00:27:20Jesus, Flynn, we're about to make millions by saving the world.
00:27:28How is it possible you can find a problem with that?
00:27:30She's got a point, sis.
00:27:32But why us?
00:27:33Uh, hello?
00:27:34She literally just told us.
00:27:36No way, they're hiding something, okay?
00:27:39That's too much money.
00:27:40It's too top secret.
00:27:41That paper that that guy told me.
00:27:42No, no, are you seriously talking about the creepy guy who threatened to kill us?
00:27:46Rose.
00:27:46Okay, yes, the amount they're offering is weirdly high.
00:27:49I mean, we would have done this for what?
00:27:51Half a mile?
00:27:52And also, where's David?
00:27:53He should be here, right?
00:27:55Yes.
00:27:55Okay, seriously, Jack, I can't with her.
00:27:57You always side with your sister.
00:27:59Look, she is not your only dependents anymore.
00:28:03I'm your family now.
00:28:05Come on, don't you trust my instinct?
00:28:10I'm sorry.
00:28:14Fuck this.
00:28:15I'm out.
00:28:16Jack, look, just let her go, okay?
00:28:18Let her go.
00:28:19It's not about her.
00:28:20This is about us.
00:28:22Okay?
00:28:23You built this dream team from the ground up.
00:28:26You deserve this.
00:28:28Okay?
00:28:30Yeah, okay.
00:28:31Yeah.
00:28:32Let's do this.
00:28:33Okay.
00:28:33Okay.
00:28:39Now, before you sign, there's just one more thing.
00:28:42Times are changing in our media empire, and because of Steven's health and none of our heirs willing
00:28:49to take the reins, we've been on the hunt for new partners, not just to carry on the legacy
00:28:54of our company, but to reinvent it for today's audience, but to reinvent it for today's audience.
00:28:58Jack, I've been watching you for years.
00:29:01You can do so much more.
00:29:03And with my power, and with my power, you're being stopped.
00:29:09I'm sorry.
00:29:09Are you talking about giving us your...
00:29:12My company?
00:29:14Yes.
00:29:14Hey!
00:29:15Oh.
00:29:17Oh, my God.
00:29:18It's really happening, babe.
00:29:19We're going to be flattered there.
00:29:20Hey.
00:29:23Uh, no offense.
00:29:24We're insanely flattered, but, um, why us?
00:29:28It's simple math, really.
00:29:30Our research shows that you alone engage with ten times more users under the age of 25 than
00:29:34any other public figure in the world.
00:29:36I do.
00:29:39Of course you do, my handsome man.
00:29:42Your 55 million followers are just the beginning.
00:29:45Combined with our network capabilities, they will expand to hundreds of millions, become
00:29:49the backbone of consumer buyers, controlling advertising spends, political influence, and
00:29:54world markets.
00:29:58What we're proposing is a trial merger.
00:30:01See how we feel about you and your new role as leader of our media group, and after six
00:30:07months, we make it a little more formal.
00:30:12It's a simple offer sheet.
00:30:14David already looked it over.
00:30:15It's just...
00:30:16Oh, fuck.
00:30:17Anything you see or participate in during this trial merger stays between us.
00:30:22It's like a formal family deal before all the business stuff gets ironed out.
00:30:26Yeah.
00:30:33Hey!
00:30:37You ready?
00:30:39Uh...
00:30:40Here we go.
00:30:51Hey!
00:30:52Hey!
00:30:52Oh, that's amazing.
00:30:57Yeah.
00:31:01This is seriously the best day of my life.
00:31:03Well, I mean, apart from our wedding, of course.
00:31:06What's up, my Juliannares?
00:31:08I'm getting ready for a date with a real-life cat boy.
00:31:11So if you have any pro tips, make sure to do it to me
00:31:15or comment down below to impress him.
00:31:18And I've also been using Wee Wee face glue,
00:31:21which is what's keeping me rebelling.
00:31:24So for more info, just check in the link above
00:31:28or I thought to see more.
00:31:31Bye, guys.
00:31:35Oh, Jesus.
00:31:38What, is the deal off?
00:31:40No, the deal's very much off.
00:31:42Then what's the problem?
00:31:44There's something seriously off about this place
00:31:46and I want no part of it.
00:31:48Okay, I don't have a plan attack.
00:31:51Calm down.
00:31:53I'm calm.
00:31:54I'm just telling you, I think we should go now.
00:31:56What about your brother and Liz?
00:31:58They won't.
00:31:59Listen, I think this shit's bad.
00:32:02Okay, what if that guy on the road earlier was right
00:32:04and these people aren't just greedy, they're evil?
00:32:09Evil?
00:32:10Really?
00:32:10That thing I read earlier said rector's up to something.
00:32:13Now they're offering us all this crazy money
00:32:15to help them promote it.
00:32:17What kind of money?
00:32:19Half a million?
00:32:19A million?
00:32:20Are they including me?
00:32:21I'm serious?
00:32:23Are you coming with me or not?
00:32:24I would.
00:32:25I really, really would, but I actually have a date tonight.
00:32:29Harry.
00:32:30A date.
00:32:31Oh, Blink, come on.
00:32:34No, no, it's super cool.
00:32:36No one believes me.
00:32:37Everyone thinks I'm just fucking nuts.
00:32:39I guess I'll try to find a signal somewhere
00:32:42and see if I can catch an Uber
00:32:43to go play my semi-final death match alone.
00:32:47Hey, sorry.
00:32:49Text me.
00:32:51Good luck with your death match.
00:32:52You're going to be shitting me.
00:33:14Fucking unbelievable.
00:33:15Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.
00:33:45Don't scream.
00:34:07Get out of here!
00:34:10Shhh!
00:34:11They're feeding hours upon us.
00:34:12Their heightened senses means they can see everything.
00:34:18What the hell's the matter with you, dude?
00:34:19You can't just grab me.
00:34:21You know what?
00:34:22They had a valid fucking point.
00:34:23You're the one I should be scared of, not Rector.
00:34:26Put that mace down.
00:34:28I'm trying to save you, Flynn.
00:34:29How do you know my name?
00:34:30I'll explain that later.
00:34:31No, you're going to explain it now or I'm screaming.
00:34:34I don't have time for this.
00:34:37Yeah, you're right.
00:34:40Where the hell are you going?
00:34:41Hey, hey, you can't get a fucking signal out here.
00:34:45They only get a signal when they want you to.
00:34:47Hey, come with me now before it's too late.
00:34:51Don't be a hell, old man.
00:34:59I love this.
00:35:01The smell is so authentic.
00:35:03It's great.
00:35:06Harry, why don't you come this way, little lady?
00:35:20Oh, shit.
00:35:24Oh, shit.
00:35:24Oh, shit.
00:35:24Oh, shit.
00:35:26Oh, shit.
00:35:27Oh, shit.
00:35:27Oh, shit.
00:35:28Oh, shit.
00:35:28Oh, shit.
00:35:29Oh, shit.
00:35:29Oh, shit.
00:35:30Oh, shit.
00:35:31Oh, shit.
00:35:32Oh, shit.
00:35:33Oh, shit.
00:35:34Oh, shit.
00:35:35Oh, shit.
00:35:36Oh, shit.
00:35:37Oh, shit.
00:35:38Oh, shit.
00:35:39Oh, shit.
00:35:40Oh, shit.
00:35:41Oh, shit.
00:35:42Oh, shit.
00:35:43Oh, shit.
00:35:44Oh, shit.
00:35:45Oh, shit.
00:35:46Oh, shit.
00:35:47Oh, shit.
00:35:48Guys? Guys? Jack? Liz?
00:36:01That's more like it.
00:36:31Shit!
00:36:56Calm down, you freak.
00:36:58You're just letting the sun get into your head.
00:37:11I, uh, took the liberty of trying the wine.
00:37:15It's really good.
00:37:18Is it biodynamic?
00:37:20Sure.
00:37:28Don't worry, cutie. I'm coming for you.
00:37:40Hello, Charles.
00:37:42Oh, shit.
00:37:44Listen, I'm not gonna tell anyone what you guys are up to.
00:37:50Hey, guys. Just, just, just let me go.
00:37:53Shut up and go.
00:37:55I thought that you were a nice guy.
00:37:57All right.
00:37:58Why me? You love animals.
00:38:01Remember the whales?
00:38:03I love animals. I just hate.
00:38:06Jules!
00:38:09Jules!
00:38:13You smell tempering juices.
00:38:18Never trust the guys with a man bomb!
00:38:21Jules!
00:38:26Please! Please!
00:38:28Hey!
00:38:34Tell him!
00:38:39Please!
00:38:49Hang on, don't check in.
00:38:53Look, get off me!
00:38:54Lesson learned never accept a date from a dude with a man bun
00:39:24more swipe ups for you sweetheart looks like you needed my help after all how did you know
00:39:47you're gonna get eaten alive come on with me I'll show you really we're gonna do this
00:40:06shit again no no I'm coming I just we have to save my brother too
00:40:17oh wow this feels like home our 500 print and television subsidiaries worldwide make up 90%
00:40:32of the global market and by the end of the decade we plan to have acquired all of them
00:40:38sweet people they call me heartless a capitalist a gold digger this is of course one of our many
00:40:43satellite locations where all data and imagery are run through our algorithms straight up to
00:40:48the cloud sweet algorithms are kind of my jam I just I keep searching for a sense of security
00:40:55and I know that the second I find it I'm gonna be a whole new person well I think you found a baby girl
00:41:03come on we like to think of our algorithm as a giant filter for all the world's facts narratives and
00:41:13viewpoints you ready for some real fun oh wow whether you're moderate or conservative leftist fascist
00:41:25anarchist it doesn't matter to us we're 1975 Halston Jackie Onassis wore it once before I bought it
00:41:32do you want to try it on heck yeah
00:41:35that's mine is yours our ethos has always been might be a part of the conversation when you could
00:41:49construct the conversation itself great question sorry was that a question
00:41:58good eye this is some top secret shit that I should not be showing you is a botox this is the vaccine
00:42:14it's gonna heal the world total immunity to everything everything just one little shot and nothing and will
00:42:27ever stop you can I do it now oh but but seeing that we're already like family and this is a momentous
00:42:42occasion it feels right to make an exception now if an ageless billionaire has pulls you into a wardrobe
00:42:52inviting you to try a secret serum and a syringe from a creepy wooden box you ready to be an untouchable
00:42:59queen just say yes yes please wrong answer sweetheart thanks for the tour but I should probably be heading
00:43:10back my sister my friends are probably wondering about me here we go you haven't even met mr rectory
00:43:21oh oh oh my head is you around
00:43:51welcome to the rest of your life
00:44:15no shit
00:44:23i grew up pulling all-nighters to watch reruns of your show
00:44:30catch a criminal with elliot jones if you're a criminal preying on the innocent if you assault rape and kill
00:44:39we have a message for you watch out justice is back in town right along with elliot jones as he
00:44:47investigates pursues and brings down the darkest most elusive night stalking predators on our streets
00:44:53catch a criminal with elliot jones making america safer
00:44:58catch a criminal with elliot jones thursdays at 9 8 central on bbn
00:45:07catch a criminal with elliot jones
00:45:14catch a criminal with elliot jones
00:45:16what happened to you
00:45:17my daughter
00:45:24molly she was
00:45:26she was murdered in the hotel suite of a record label executive
00:45:31so there was a trial highly publicized search for a killer and all that bullshit
00:45:42that's what led to setting the whole show in motion
00:45:46but it was all for her it was all for molly
00:45:53i followed every clue until he led me to the
00:46:00the owner of the record label
00:46:02hmm
00:46:04who also happened to be
00:46:07the owner of the network
00:46:10that paid for my show
00:46:13steven rector
00:46:16steven rector
00:46:23this is our newest feature
00:46:25personally designed by mr rector himself
00:46:28it's the latest in immersive audio visual experiences
00:46:31what do i feel like
00:46:33like nothing you've ever seen
00:46:38a lot of people think that vampires are the stuff of fairy tales and novels and all that bullshit
00:46:43but little did they know that bram stoker himself
00:46:46was a vampire
00:46:48making up lies to distract us from the truth
00:46:51that the vampire illuminati
00:46:53not only walks among us
00:46:55they've gamed our entire system
00:46:58our financial institutions
00:47:01we got shadow governments making up laws
00:47:04we don't even fucking know about
00:47:05massive media mergers
00:47:07algorithms
00:47:08data mining to control what people think
00:47:10but the police state
00:47:12keeps us in line
00:47:14ow
00:47:15we got a vaccine
00:47:17yeah
00:47:18all in the name of healing the world
00:47:20when it's really about
00:47:21keeping our blood clean enough for their consumption
00:47:24rooting out the prey
00:47:26from a super society of predators
00:47:28who worship at the altar
00:47:31of a vampire illuminati
00:47:35and that's the truth baby
00:47:39hey so
00:47:40i just
00:47:41hi there
00:47:42uh
00:47:43clothes on
00:47:44obviously
00:47:45right no
00:47:46okay
00:47:47fancy
00:47:48no
00:47:49no
00:47:52oh
00:47:53there
00:47:54we go
00:47:57here we go
00:47:58oh
00:48:11no
00:48:12please
00:48:13please
00:48:14thank you
00:48:15I'll be right back.
00:48:45The Omega Society is the oldest and most secretive society on the planet.
00:49:15It's more of a cult, really.
00:49:18Their origins date back since before recorded history.
00:49:22Wanna smoke?
00:49:24I vape.
00:49:26Grow up.
00:49:28Look, they lived off the blood of small mammals until they realized that drinking human blood would give them immortal life.
00:49:40If they drank it often enough.
00:49:43But it wasn't long until us humans started fighting back.
00:49:46By the Middle Ages we had these motherfuckers on the run.
00:49:49But then we came up with a new tactic.
00:49:53Fleeing their villages in a mass migration.
00:49:56And then reintegrating into our society pretending, pretending, mind you, to be one of us.
00:50:04But they're weak.
00:50:05They have a disease.
00:50:07The whole family's had a disease for 350 years.
00:50:11And now, Rector's dying.
00:50:13And he thinks you're the cure.
00:50:15What do you mean, cure?
00:50:17And hunters way before me have been documenting their kills for centuries.
00:50:21But there is one event that changed everything.
00:50:251627, during the Würzburg Witch Trials, a young woman, a leper, was prayed over by a powerful French cleric, Armand Gindus, uh, something.
00:50:36Said to be touched by God himself.
00:50:39Anyway, puts his hands on her, says a prayer, and boom, she's healed.
00:50:43Just like that.
00:50:44True miracle.
00:50:45Well, she healed so fast they thought she was a witch.
00:50:48Decided to burn her at the stake.
00:50:51But the night before her execution, she had a visitor.
00:50:56A vampire patriarch brutally drained her of every ounce of blood in her frail body.
00:51:04But her blood, it was special.
00:51:10Infused by the Holy Spirit himself, thanks to the cleric, you see, she was given the divine gift of life.
00:51:18And that will wreak havoc on the undead.
00:51:22Her name was lost through time, but she was forever referred to as the Geist de Schicksals.
00:51:29The ghost of fate.
00:51:32And through the centuries, that infected bloodline has run rampant through the Rector family,
00:51:38making each generation shorter and weaker and more desperate than the ones before.
00:51:44And now, Steven Rector thinks that you and Jack are the cure.
00:51:48Oh!
00:51:49The hell, I think they're right!
00:51:51My theory is that not only is your blood the right type, but you and Jack have Rector DNA.
00:51:57Your great grandpa, Wilbur Chambers, married a Lydia Reichton, which could have been Rector.
00:52:05Vampires are changing their fucking names all the time.
00:52:08That's why they're after you.
00:52:10Because they think you and Jack are part of a family.
00:52:15So we gotta go now?
00:52:16We're not ready.
00:52:17Why not?
00:52:18We gotta prepare.
00:52:19But that's what we've been doing.
00:52:22I've been killing vamps a long time, honey.
00:52:24Steven Rector?
00:52:25That son of a bitch.
00:52:27He ain't no ordinary vampire dope.
00:52:30He's a dark lord.
00:52:32His royal bloodline goes back to the very beginning.
00:52:35Now, you take him out, you take out one of the biggest vamp syndicates of all time.
00:52:39I can't believe this is my fucking life right now.
00:52:41Okay, the Rector's birthday is on record.
00:52:44It's 1921.
00:52:46Now, a vampire's natural lifespan is, of course, endless.
00:52:51But no financial or real estate records ever show one vampire ever living past the century mark.
00:52:56What does that mean?
00:52:58It means after a hundred years, they simply vanish.
00:53:03So you're saying that Rector's near the expiration date.
00:53:07But he's also a mortal, so what does that mean?
00:53:11Vampires age and die just like you and me.
00:53:14But their spirit never does.
00:53:17They simply move on to a new host.
00:53:20Somebody they feel can carry on their legacy.
00:53:23Yep, yep.
00:53:24That's Jack.
00:53:27I've been waiting for you.
00:53:32Wow, man.
00:53:33You look so...
00:53:34Real?
00:53:35Yeah.
00:53:36Well, dude, this place, it's...
00:53:39You know, it's strange.
00:53:41It kind of reminds me of, um...
00:53:43Windstone's Bar and Grill?
00:53:46Yeah.
00:53:47Dude...
00:53:48No, yeah, no.
00:53:49Man, I used to work here.
00:53:52I mean, not here.
00:53:53You know, the real one.
00:53:54Not virtual, but...
00:53:56Yeah, no, I was the DJ.
00:54:00I mean, to be honest, I was pretty fucking bad.
00:54:03Um, this place is where I made my first YouTube videos with my roommate inside.
00:54:10How did you know?
00:54:12I know everything about you.
00:54:14Your high school crush to your first viral video.
00:54:18The first million dollars you ever made.
00:54:22The day you met Liz.
00:54:24To the exact amount of money in your checking account.
00:54:28Right now.
00:54:29Right now.
00:54:30Right now.
00:54:31Oh, shit.
00:54:32Uh...
00:54:33About that.
00:54:34Um, Mr. Rector.
00:54:35The reason that account is so low is just because, you know, our overheads are so high.
00:54:39Uh, but I can assure you, Stream Team's value is still rocking high.
00:54:44We don't care about all that.
00:54:47Jack, everything you think you know about the world, it's all about to change.
00:54:53You are about to change.
00:54:56I am.
00:54:57It's time for your next evolutionary step.
00:55:05Sorry.
00:55:06I think I'm a bit confused.
00:55:08Um, when you say...
00:55:11What do you mean...
00:55:17Huh.
00:55:19What's going on?
00:55:25Um...
00:55:31Hey, guys.
00:55:32Very funny.
00:55:33I get it.
00:55:34You know, I thought this was going to be like a VR experience on a beach.
00:55:39You know, or in space.
00:55:41Something.
00:55:42I...
00:55:43I think I fell next.
00:55:44Actually, we playedasses.
00:55:47Is this the Пока?
00:55:48I expected to be like a story.
00:55:50But I wanna leave that question...
00:55:52I would wait to see this game.
00:55:53My dumb ass is hit on the groundhogs.
00:55:54It's the Bible.
00:55:55I guess it's got to be literally half a bit.
00:55:56It won't be literally this game.
00:55:57Never mind.
00:55:58If you?-
00:55:59You'd be like, oh, you're not a big deal.
00:56:00I'm sera ya, too...
00:56:02It works.
00:56:03It's like, you know, if you're talking to this game.
00:56:05It's great too.
00:56:06You're gonna be like, dude.
00:56:07You're gonna have to play.
00:56:08Can someone let me out of here, please?
00:56:21Oh, come on!
00:56:27Okay, so, that was great. I'm sorry. I have to go.
00:56:33It was nice meeting you guys, but listen, I'm sorry.
00:56:36I, uh, I really gotta go.
00:56:39You don't have to win anywhere.
00:56:40Sorry, Richard.
00:56:41You know, it's cool. I don't need to apologize. I'm just gonna let myself out.
00:56:44It was nice meeting you guys.
00:56:47Liz?
00:56:50Hi.
00:56:52Baby.
00:56:53Oh, my God.
00:56:59Baby.
00:57:01Are you okay?
00:57:03Nothing.
00:57:03Baby, we gotta go. Now.
00:57:07No.
00:57:08Why?
00:57:09Why?
00:57:10We made it, baby.
00:57:11No. No, we didn't. This place is a fucking trap. Baby, we gotta go.
00:57:15Kiss me.
00:57:16Now?
00:57:17Kiss me.
00:57:19Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You're one of them.
00:57:21Eternal life, Jack.
00:57:23Think about it. We'd have more money, power, and success than we ever imagined.
00:57:27It's the Holy Grail, Jack.
00:57:29No, no, no. I'm sorry. This is not okay. I can't... We can't be like these people.
00:57:35Mom, we just need to get you to a hospital.
00:57:37We're there for some time. We can reverse this.
00:57:40Oh, fuck.
00:57:41Thanks.
00:57:41Oh, God.
00:57:42Oh, God.
00:57:44Oh, God.
00:57:46Oh, God.
00:57:47Oh, God.
00:57:47Oh, God.
00:57:48Oh, God.
00:57:49Give me that, Jack.
00:57:49Oh, God.
00:57:49Oh, God.
00:57:50Oh, God.
00:57:50Oh, God.
00:57:51Oh, God.
00:57:52Oh, God.
00:57:53Oh, God.
00:57:54Oh, God.
00:57:55Oh, God.
00:57:56Oh, God.
00:57:57Oh, God.
00:57:58Let me out of here.
00:58:11Oh, let's not be difficult here. You should be grateful. You're about to be a king, enjoying
00:58:17spirits with the longest bloodline in the world.
00:58:22Please, I'm begging you. There's been a mistake. This isn't what we signed up for.
00:58:27Page six. A full transference of all of Stephen and Beverly Rector's assets, including their
00:58:32own personal DNA. You did read the contract, correct?
00:58:39Look, whatever you're planning, just find someone else, okay? I'm not going to tell anyone.
00:58:44But I promise.
00:58:45We don't want anyone. We chose you.
00:58:49Eruk.
00:58:50It chose me? For what?
00:58:53Welcome to the family.
00:58:55What? No. No. No. Freeze. No. No.
00:58:59Well, a full transition? Less than an hour. An hour? I saw him like an hour ago. That's why I'm saying we should be going now.
00:59:09that's why i'm saying we should be going now these bastards are the most vicious the strongest
00:59:14fastest most vile motherfuckers on this planet games are over honey walk in that house chances
00:59:21are you'll get exsanguated less than a minute walking through the door sounds fun hey i'm
00:59:28serious you gotta follow my leader whatever it takes to save my brother
00:59:34you know i always thought i'd die long it's nice to know i guess
00:59:45always aim for the chest a wooden stake or a silver blade through the heart
00:59:51only proven way to kill this bastard how long have you been killing these things for
00:59:57a long fucking time come on counter movies always have them on you
01:00:03crosses the fear of god slows them down mine packs an extra punch cute holy water
01:00:11only use this for the last resort shake a little as a fan okay and
01:00:16no self-respecting vampire hunter ever leaves home without a pack of these babies
01:00:22liquid garlic explodes on contact with any vamp scum
01:00:29huh i am scum well what nothing cool nickname all right last but sure as
01:00:37shit not least there's a four second move now a typical vampire just wants to drain your blood
01:00:42weaver dead right but if you get fangs in the dark lord or his ilk you've got exactly four mississippis
01:00:50to get them out before you turn and if you do turn i got no choice but to stick your ass to the grave
01:00:56sit down
01:00:59you're close
01:01:07anything else i should know yeah yeah there is we're gonna do everything we can to help your brother
01:01:15but there are thousands of lives at stake here
01:01:22you know you got three hours till sunrise and a lot of vampire has to kick between now and then so
01:01:27are you ready actually give me one second
01:01:33the hell are you doing i may have missed the senate finals i'm gonna show that league i'm good enough to go
01:01:38pro you're filming this you have a problem with that do i have a choice no not really all right
01:01:58so
01:02:14so
01:02:56Holy crap, guys.
01:02:58Lynn Chambers is back on live.
01:03:00Oh, my gosh.
01:03:00And it looks like she's in a secret bunker with her dad.
01:03:03That's not her dad.
01:03:04Her dad died three years ago.
01:03:06Let's just say it.
01:03:07Her outfit's pretty badass.
01:03:09She looks like she can kill.
01:03:10And the whole bow and arrow thing is very Fortnite 2019.
01:03:13But she's bringing it back, and I'm here for it.
01:03:16This stuff is legit scary, though.
01:03:17We need to find out who that guy is.
01:03:19Yeah, for real.
01:03:20That guy is mad sus.
01:03:22Wait, the next team's starting.
01:03:24Shh.
01:03:26Oh, ho.
01:03:46Be easy there, ladies.
01:03:48Be easy.
01:03:49Be easy.
01:03:50Oh, ho.
01:04:04What?
01:04:11Oh, ho.
01:04:13Nice reflexes there, lady.
01:04:39Oh, fuck you very much.
01:04:42Here.
01:04:43The director's close.
01:04:45I can feel it.
01:04:47Oh, yeah.
01:04:48Thanks for reminding me.
01:04:50Are you fucking kidding me?
01:04:51Are you insane?
01:04:52I said I'd die alone.
01:04:53I wouldn't try.
01:04:54There's no known way to kill a dark lord or his queen.
01:04:57I'm just looking for some way.
01:04:58Any way to break the cycle.
01:04:59I'm just looking for some way.
01:05:00Any way to break the cycle.
01:05:01I don't know.
01:05:02I don't know.
01:05:03I don't know.
01:05:04I don't know.
01:05:05I don't know.
01:05:06I don't know.
01:05:07I don't know.
01:05:08I don't know.
01:05:09I don't know.
01:05:10I don't know.
01:05:11I don't know.
01:05:12I don't know.
01:05:13I don't know.
01:05:14I don't know.
01:05:15I don't know.
01:05:16I don't know.
01:05:17All right.
01:05:18The simple fact is, ain't nobody ever done that and lived to tell the tale.
01:05:22Nobody but nobody in a thousand years has ever successfully taken down the leader of a vampire syndicate.
01:05:29In fact, there's only been three documented attempts.
01:05:32First is none other than the inspiration for Dracula himself, Lad the Impaler.
01:05:38A brutal leader who, as legend has it, dipped pieces of bread in bowls of his victim's blood.
01:05:45And he staked their bodies all over Eastern Europe.
01:05:48But not documented.
01:05:50Lad was almost defeated by a Bavarian goldsmith named Sid the Shylock.
01:05:55He trapped Lad with the aid of his cousin Esther, Romanian whore.
01:05:59And he fed him divine water and garlic injections for three weeks straight.
01:06:04But one morning when Sid left for town, Vlad seduced Esther with the promise of a real apple.
01:06:12It was very rare in those days.
01:06:14And that was the end of Sid and Esther.
01:06:16The last time anybody ever saw or heard from Glad the Impaler.
01:06:22Then there's Jack the Ripper.
01:06:24Most consider the Welsh murderer the very first serial killer.
01:06:27But while Scotland Yard was desperate to catch Jack, one detective, Frederick George Aveline, knew the truth.
01:06:35Jack wasn't a serial killer.
01:06:37He was a leader of a Welsh vampire syndicate known as the Blood Prince.
01:06:42And our friend Frederick almost busted the entire ring.
01:06:47Killed dozens of rams, including several members of Jack's own family.
01:06:51But even with the most inventive steampunk armory, some of which we still use today, his tactics were no match for the Ripper.
01:06:59The Blood Prince seduced Frederick with the one thing the detective always wanted.
01:07:05Dental surgery.
01:07:08Which brings us to the Rectors.
01:07:10This creepy fucking bunker.
01:07:12And our sorry asses.
01:07:14Well, I'm not down for a suicide admission, bro.
01:07:16Okay?
01:07:17You're gonna need to give me something else to work with.
01:07:19According to the great prophecy, there's one way to kill the Dark Lord.
01:07:23And that's for him to get fanged by somebody from his own blood order.
01:07:27I.E. somebody that he himself converted.
01:07:31That right there is just downright impossible, honey.
01:07:35There has to be another way.
01:07:36Well.
01:07:37You find that out.
01:07:38You let me know.
01:07:40Okay.
01:07:41Oh, I got a several rod.
01:07:42Rector's bodyguard.
01:07:43Might be the only one that goes for your brother, isn't it?
01:07:44Hey, buddy.
01:07:45How you doing?
01:07:46Oh, I got a several rod.
01:07:47Rector's bodyguard.
01:07:48Might be the only one that goes for your brother, isn't it?
01:07:49Hey, buddy.
01:07:50How you doing?
01:07:51Oh, I got a several rod.
01:07:52Rector's bodyguard.
01:07:53Might be the only one that goes for your brother, isn't it?
01:07:54Hey, buddy.
01:07:55How you doing?
01:07:56What's going on?
01:07:57Hey, buddy.
01:07:58How you doing?
01:07:59What's going on?
01:08:00I bet you're wondering why the big guy didn't take us down.
01:08:11Well, because he knows and I know we're already dead.
01:08:15All right.
01:08:17Are you ready for this?
01:08:20Because things are about to go from mildly nightmarish to completely bad shit fucking crazy.
01:08:25Hmm?
01:08:26What do you think?
01:08:27They're waiting for us?
01:08:28What the fuck do you think?
01:08:30Not the shit we do for the family.
01:08:55Oh, my God.
01:08:56That's the worst thing I've ever seen.
01:09:00All that blood for one vampire?
01:09:02Not just one.
01:09:03You see all of them two fears.
01:09:04Things in pain brings a lot bigger than I thought.
01:09:07Come on.
01:09:08Oh my God, that's the worst thing I've ever seen.
01:09:15All that blood for one vampire?
01:09:18Not just one.
01:09:19You see all them two fears.
01:09:21Exist fame brings a lot bigger than I thought.
01:09:26Come on.
01:09:27Come on.
01:09:37Oh God.
01:09:38Looks like it.
01:09:39Trap.
01:09:46Jack.
01:09:47Jack, Jack, come on.
01:09:49Jack, Jack, you have to wake up, please.
01:09:52Jack.
01:09:53Mr. Jones.
01:09:58Welcome to the party.
01:09:59Hello, bitch.
01:10:01Flynn.
01:10:02Hey.
01:10:03Where is he, Pascone?
01:10:04We've been waiting for you.
01:10:07Where is he?
01:10:11I'm sorry, was that a question?
01:10:13Because I thought you knew everything about us.
01:10:16Try me.
01:10:23Jesus, fuck.
01:10:28I've been hiding this decline for years.
01:10:30That's Rector.
01:10:32Who did we speak to before?
01:10:34That damn deepfake program.
01:10:35Remember, trust nobody.
01:10:37Believe nothing.
01:10:39This piece of shit.
01:10:41It's been a long time coming.
01:10:43Bloodsucking, megalomaniac shit fucker.
01:10:47Now, we need it last.
01:10:50Well, not exactly.
01:10:52You missed him by night now.
01:10:55We did.
01:10:57Beverly Rector has safely transitioned to her new house mommy.
01:11:01What about this piece of shit?
01:11:02Oh, well, Steven is somewhere in transit, as his host completes his transfusion.
01:11:06Once all the blood is in, that means the spirit can finally bind to the body is the final step.
01:11:16I'm sorry, darling.
01:11:17No.
01:11:18No fucking way.
01:11:19He didn't know what he was getting into, alright?
01:11:20You can do whatever the hell you want with her.
01:11:24Stay the fuck away from my brother.
01:11:25They may just kill each other.
01:11:26Have fun with him draining Mr. Jones.
01:11:27I'm gonna make sure the sister stays in the family.
01:11:28Holy shit.
01:11:29They want you to be in the face, huh?
01:11:30Yeah.
01:11:31Half vampire, half human.
01:11:32Half vampire, half human.
01:11:33I'm gonna make sure the sister stays in the family.
01:11:36forever.
01:11:37Yeah.
01:11:38You're not.
01:11:39Yeah.
01:11:40They couldn't.
01:11:41It's just...
01:11:43You're gonna do whatever the hell you want with her.
01:11:45Stay the fuck away from my brother.
01:11:46They may just kill each other.
01:11:47Have fun with him draining Mr. Jones.
01:11:48I'm gonna make sure the sister stays in the family.
01:11:51Holy shit.
01:11:54They want you to be in the face, huh?
01:11:57It's a half vampire, half human.
01:12:00Bound to do the bidding of the king and the queen.
01:12:03Forever.
01:12:06No. It's not gonna happen.
01:12:08I've always wanted to taste someone with integrity.
01:12:12Bring it, vamp scum.
01:12:24That was easy.
01:12:33What's this?
01:13:03Get the hill off me, you fucking bitch.
01:13:20Die, bitch.
01:13:28Did she...?
01:13:30Am I...?
01:13:31Nah.
01:13:33You're good.
01:13:43Alright.
01:13:44Let's shut this shit down, shall we?
01:13:48I'm sorry, guys.
01:13:50He's mine now.
01:13:53Don't listen to her. She's a queen now.
01:13:56It's not her true self.
01:13:57No.
01:13:58No, that's Liz.
01:14:01I'm gonna gut this bitch once and for all.
01:14:03Oh, sweetie.
01:14:05Try me.
01:14:15I need some help here!
01:14:16I need some help here!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:19Me!
01:14:28Oh.
01:14:31No.
01:14:33No, no, no!
01:14:38NOOOOO!
01:14:39you
01:15:09Fucking queen, come get us! Get away!
01:15:39The plan was not exactly simple. Feeding Rector back his own royal blood takes a lot of
01:16:09steps to make it clear for all you YouTubing, tic-tac-ing cocksuckers out there, here are some tips.
01:16:39The plan was not exactly the same as a woman, but it was just a little bit of a piece of
01:16:47a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of a piece of
01:16:54piece of bread.
01:17:16Please get me out of this thing, come on!
01:17:21Ah, you thought I forgot.
01:17:35So the third, and perhaps the closest anybody's ever come to busting a syndicate, happened
01:17:40the afternoon of November 24th, in 1971.
01:17:45A charismatic vamp posing as an ad man was well on his way to manipulating the masses
01:17:50through Madison Avenue and forming a movement to create large feeding areas that would later
01:17:56become known as discos.
01:17:58But on his way to triumph, he was double-crossed by a royal member who was determined to use
01:18:04this disco concept for a long-time dream to become a pop star.
01:18:09She sold out the ad man to an elite group of slayers who staged a coup on a flight from
01:18:15Portland to Seattle.
01:18:16Since in danger, the now iconic bloodsucker, otherwise known by the name of D.B.
01:18:22Cooper, disappeared forever.
01:18:27Oh, fuck me!
01:18:28Oh, gosh!
01:18:30Oh, my God!
01:18:32Oh, my God!
01:18:32I'm sorry, you were right.
01:18:34You were right about all of it.
01:18:35Oh, no.
01:18:36What else is new?
01:18:38Please get me out of this thing.
01:18:39Come on.
01:18:41Oh, my God.
01:18:42What did you eat?
01:18:44I said we did a pretty good job.
01:18:48I don't know about this.
01:18:54You can get three minutes to get your brother out of here.
01:18:59Hey, that was pretty fun, wasn't it?
01:19:02Huh?
01:19:03Not really.
01:19:04All right.
01:19:08It was nice meeting you again.
01:19:10Hey, remember, trust nobody.
01:19:16Believe nothing.
01:19:37Flip!
01:19:37Come on.
01:20:06Come on.
01:20:06Let's go.
01:20:06It's vampire.
01:20:27I'll be loving you...
01:20:29Always...
01:20:35When the things you plan need a helping hand, I will understand.
01:21:04Always...
01:21:06Always...
01:21:08Always days...
01:21:14May not be fair...
01:21:17Always...
01:21:21Good show, Elliot.
01:21:24Oh, did it!
01:21:26Woo-hoo!
01:21:26So if you're ever invited to an exclusive party that you have no business being at,
01:21:33are offered a business opportunity that's too good to be true,
01:21:37or you meet an impeccably dressed, handsome billionaire who has a red room,
01:21:42you need to ask yourself,
01:21:44am I the prey or the predator?
01:21:49Or do I have what it takes to be a motherfucking slayer?
01:21:53you know what?
01:21:54I think this is, like it huis is something that's really good.
01:21:57Sleep but often.
01:21:58So it is hard.
01:21:59I mean, well...
01:22:00I can go not through someone.
01:22:01I'm from here to explore the others ever, who may be great, but I won't buy HR Thor, of course.
01:22:03It's lake-tend.
01:22:04Yeah!
01:22:04Pretty much, yes.
01:22:04I'm able to find
01:22:05anything interesting.
01:22:06You stupid knows?
01:22:06I'm not trying to do that.
01:22:07What?!
01:22:08You did?
01:22:10A end of the game, completely retreat from the next You're already there!
01:22:14Andاذ?
01:22:15I am your master, now sign your name
01:22:18I am your master, now sign your name
01:22:21Terrible hunger, nestled in time
01:22:29Empirical, lord of monics
01:22:31One chance we can come to say, check us out
01:22:34We can have a beast who starts in spite
01:22:37I am your master, now sign your name
01:22:44I am your master, now sign your name
01:22:47Terrifying machine gun, fast, illiterating words
01:22:58You have in place, the dream I need
01:23:02Empirical, lord of monics
01:23:04I am your master, now sign your name
01:23:08I am your master, now sign your name
01:23:11There is no escape
01:23:20I am your master, now sign your name
01:23:23I am your master, now sign your name
01:23:27I know a lot of you have a question.
01:23:51I definitely do.
01:23:52Like, is this a new promo for a new vampire movie?
01:23:55And if so, what's the name?
01:23:57And I guess Jules finally quit the business.
01:24:00And when is Liz's new Nail Kit coming out?
01:24:02Because this bitch definitely needs it.
01:24:05Sophie, what's our news for today?
01:24:08Okay, guys.
01:24:09So I listened to NPR, and basically everyone went missing from the compound.
01:24:14And there are serious reports of foul play.
01:24:17What's up, PR, girl?
01:24:20You idiot.
01:24:23So today, our plan is to look back from the live streams
01:24:25and posts from the past few days.
01:24:27But before we do that,
01:24:29I gotta give a big shout-out to our sponsor,
01:24:31Lick.
01:24:32It's a new deodorant for dudes like me and you.
01:24:36Also, don't forget to subscribe.
01:24:38What about my sweatshirt sponsorship?
01:24:40I don't care.
01:24:41But this...
01:24:42I don't care.
01:24:44A lot of people have gone.
01:24:45I don't care.
01:24:53How do you give a 23-year-old team?
01:24:53I don't care.
01:24:54I don't care.
01:24:55I don't care.
01:24:56It's just 7-year-old featuring people watching kids.
01:24:57I don't care.
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