- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, jump it? That's a good jump. Get the ball, Steve. Get it. Get the ball. You want to play with your brother?
00:00:15Cabot. Steve, come play with Cabot. Don't you hit your brother? Come on, Cab.
00:00:30Come on. Picture this. A warehouse. About 20,000 square feet. Windows along the side. Looks like an ordinary warehouse. Until you get closer. And all you see are heads.
00:00:52Heads? What kind of heads you talking about?
00:00:55Heads. Happy heads. Smiling heads. Heads drifting in and out of the windows.
00:01:00A projection of heads? Like a jumbo truck? No. Real heads. Heads defying gravity. There are heads everywhere. And everyone's having fun. Good, genuine fun.
00:01:11Trampoline world. The first of its kind in the state of Louisiana.
00:01:16Hey, Kev. You feel like working today, huh?
00:01:20See? Take the hammer. Take the nail. You swing the hammer.
00:01:26And then when all the nails are in, we get paid. And then we get to go home.
00:01:34Kev, I want to ask you a question. You think grown-ass adults from Louisiana all gonna come to a building full of trampolines and jump around?
00:01:43Well, gymnastics and trampoline are amongst the fastest-growing sports in America.
00:01:47Well, so is obesity.
00:01:51No offense, brother, but you need to get laid.
00:01:55Whoa, whoa, whoa. He still hasn't done any fucking since the incident?
00:01:58Nope.
00:02:01Gah!
00:02:02Why'd you have to go bring up the incident?
00:02:05I didn't bring up the incident.
00:02:06All right, that's fucking drugs. Let's get off the goddamn room.
00:02:09Let's get out of here.
00:02:10What do you want to go with?
00:02:11I don't want to go to a titty ball.
00:02:15Are you gonna work at all today, Kev?
00:02:18Just give me a minute.
00:02:19You know, you gotta forget about Angie, man.
00:02:21Maybe the boys are right. Maybe you gotta get back out there and get laid.
00:02:25Listen, it's time for you to get back in the game.
00:02:27I am in the game.
00:02:29I'm just not having sex.
00:02:35I'm having sex, guaranteed.
00:02:42My pedestal, I just won't need.
00:02:50There's no curse. You're not cursed.
00:02:54Can't let one girl ruin your whole goddamn life, Kevin.
00:02:59Oh, shit.
00:03:16God.
00:03:17God, you're so stupid, Kevin.
00:03:20That apron suits you. You should keep it.
00:03:24Oh, and please, take whatever you like from the Les Crusades stuff.
00:03:28In fact...
00:03:33Stupid, Kevin.
00:03:35You doing okay there, senor?
00:03:39Oh, hey.
00:03:41Yeah, I'm good.
00:03:42You don't mind if we take the silvers?
00:03:45No, it's cool.
00:03:46Oh, that's nice.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54No problem.
00:03:56Guy's giving you a hard time up there?
00:03:59Who?
00:04:01Oh.
00:04:02Nah.
00:04:04What do you think your name is?
00:04:07I was gonna go with Muriel or...
00:04:10or Sasha.
00:04:12Think Sasha's married?
00:04:14Uh...
00:04:16Yeah.
00:04:17Maybe. I don't know.
00:04:19One thing I can tell you about catering.
00:04:22Some of these girls really know how to party.
00:04:25Whoa!
00:04:27You just gotta smile.
00:04:29What?
00:04:30No.
00:04:31I don't think so.
00:04:32You did.
00:04:33I saw her, man.
00:04:34Nah.
00:04:37Mmm.
00:04:39Juicy.
00:04:41So is this guy an asshole?
00:04:43What guy?
00:04:45A guy whose house this is.
00:04:48What makes you say that?
00:04:50Well, he's got a chair in the shape of a hand.
00:04:56You don't like the chair?
00:04:58Well, anyone who has enough money to buy joke furniture is probably an asshole.
00:05:04It wasn't meant to be funny.
00:05:06Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
00:05:07No, you...
00:05:09You have a really great house.
00:05:11What's your name?
00:05:13Kevin.
00:05:14What do you say, Kev?
00:05:16Call me Hank.
00:05:18You should come to my party tonight.
00:05:21There's gonna be a lot of women here.
00:05:22And, uh, a lot of these ladies are gonna be high on narcotics.
00:05:28Oh.
00:05:30Uh, I'm good.
00:05:32Are you?
00:05:33Are you good?
00:05:37Okay.
00:05:39Party starts at 8.
00:05:41Hope to see it.
00:05:43Oh, and, uh, if you want the hand chair, it's yours.
00:05:52Party starts at 9.
00:05:53Party starts at 9.
00:05:54Party starts at 9.
00:05:55Party starts at 9.
00:05:56Party starts at 9.
00:05:57Party starts at 9.
00:05:58Party starts at 9.
00:05:59Party starts at 9.
00:06:00Party starts at 9.
00:06:01Party starts at 9.
00:06:02Party starts at 9.
00:06:03Party starts at 9.
00:06:04Party starts at 9.
00:06:05Party starts at 9.
00:06:06Party starts at 9.
00:06:07Party starts at 9.
00:06:08Party starts at 9.
00:06:09Party starts at 9.
00:06:10Party starts at 9.
00:06:11Party starts at 9.
00:06:12Party starts at 9.
00:06:13Party starts at 9.
00:06:14Party starts at 9.
00:06:15Party starts at 9.
00:06:16Party starts at 9.
00:06:17Party starts at 9.
00:06:18Party starts at 9.
00:06:19Party starts at 9.
00:06:20Party starts at 9.
00:06:21You shouldn't be giving people rupees, man.
00:06:30Show me that cork trick again.
00:06:32He showed you like 30 times.
00:06:34It takes brains, bro.
00:06:35Whatever. At least I don't think my dick is cursed.
00:06:38What did I say? I don't want to talk about it.
00:06:40Why? Just tell us. Come on.
00:06:41He sounds like an idiot when he talks about it.
00:06:43No, because every time I even think about sex,
00:06:46something bad happens.
00:06:47You bring up Angie today,
00:06:48and I nearly take off my thumb with a claw hand.
00:06:50Let me see. Let me see that.
00:06:51My dick is cursed in the story.
00:06:53So you think it's possessed,
00:06:55or is it surrounded by, like, paranormal activity?
00:07:06Such a good-looking kid.
00:07:09He swears off sex.
00:07:12And it's a crime against nature.
00:07:14Are you still talking about the f***ing roofer?
00:07:17Yeah, he just seems so sad, you know?
00:07:20You know what a f***ing coke loop is, man?
00:07:22You're like a hamster in a wormhole.
00:07:25I can't, I just, I can't hear it anymore, Hank.
00:07:27I'm going insane.
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:32I've just had a revelation of magnitude.
00:07:37Oh, Carl, this is big.
00:07:39Can you see how big?
00:07:40It's f***ing big.
00:07:42I'm going to get this kid laid.
00:07:45This is, this is fate.
00:07:47I have to get this kid laid.
00:07:50Ah, you're a damn stranger, dude.
00:07:54I can see it so clearly.
00:07:55Ah, has anyone seen my phone?
00:08:00You f***ing kidding me?
00:08:02You told everyone to leave their phone here.
00:08:03Where's my phone?
00:08:03Oh, I gotta find him.
00:08:06You're kidding, right?
00:08:08It's too much responsibility.
00:08:09I can't deal with that.
00:08:14Steve.
00:08:15Steve, we're late.
00:08:17Kevin, relax.
00:08:18I'm coming.
00:08:19Nice outfit.
00:08:22Haven't seen that since first of all the community.
00:08:24Better than shorts.
00:08:25Why?
00:08:26It's the business meeting.
00:08:28It's Ted.
00:08:28He knows us.
00:08:29I don't want him going around telling Angie we're some kind of joke.
00:08:32Jesus Christ, Kev.
00:08:36You've got to stop stressing out about this Angie thing, you know?
00:08:39It's been over a year.
00:08:41It's been nine months.
00:08:42I'm close enough.
00:08:46Okay, so.
00:08:48Trampoline world.
00:08:50We'll have six 4x4 rebounders over there.
00:08:54And two 6x6 Olympics in the back there.
00:08:59Kids jumping everywhere.
00:09:013D dodgeball.
00:09:03Isn't it all dodgeball 3D?
00:09:05Um, 4D dodgeball.
00:09:08Do people really want to go trampolining?
00:09:10Oh, trampolining is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:09:14Funny, I guess I missed the trampoline Super Bowl last year.
00:09:17Sorry, that's some poor taste.
00:09:22Look, boys, I loved your daddy, all right?
00:09:24But he really never was very good at math either.
00:09:28Look, what I'm trying to say is y'all's numbers don't add up.
00:09:31You see, what happens to the trampoline world if you don't make your nut the first two months?
00:09:35Hmm?
00:09:36You shut her down?
00:09:39Well, no, we just...
00:09:40No?
00:09:41So, how do you make payroll?
00:09:43How about you just come in for $10,000?
00:09:46$10,000.
00:09:47I could do that.
00:09:49What happens to my $10,000 if you don't sell the other shares?
00:09:55Got anything, Steve?
00:09:57No.
00:09:57I lose it.
00:09:59Just what I thought.
00:10:01I just don't get it.
00:10:03Sorry, I'm out.
00:10:08Why don't you jump in?
00:10:10Honestly?
00:10:12I don't get the plan myself.
00:10:14We should go on a vacation or something.
00:10:22In Costa Rica.
00:10:24Oh, beach would be nice.
00:10:26I mean, maybe right now is not the right time for trampoline world.
00:10:29I mean, it might be the right idea, just not the right time.
00:10:32Well, it has to be.
00:10:33Huh?
00:10:35I already put down a deposit.
00:10:38A deposit with what?
00:10:44Took a note out on the house.
00:10:50Okay, but you gotta be f***ing kidding me.
00:10:53Did you even read this thing?
00:10:55Celine.
00:10:56Dude, you lose a f***ing home.
00:10:58It's not.
00:10:59A trampoline world succeeds.
00:11:03Trampoline, are you kidding me?
00:11:08Seriously, though.
00:11:09The female fruit bat?
00:11:10She nicks the mills f***ing while they having sex.
00:11:12How is that even possible?
00:11:14She bends.
00:11:16The female fruit bat is very bendy.
00:11:18Wouldn't that make it shorter?
00:11:20Apparently not for the fruit bat.
00:11:23Hello.
00:11:24Hey, it's me.
00:11:25It's Hank.
00:11:26Oh.
00:11:26Hey, Hank.
00:11:27You missed my party, man.
00:11:29Yeah, sorry about that.
00:11:30Something came off.
00:11:31I want to do something.
00:11:33But I can't understand.
00:11:34I'm talking sex guaranteed, man.
00:11:36What's sex guaranteed?
00:11:37Not text.
00:11:38Sex.
00:11:39Oh, sex.
00:11:40I'm here with this amazing creature.
00:11:43She's called Zade.
00:11:44She's amazing.
00:11:46Now, Zade wants to have sex with you.
00:11:52Was she desperate?
00:11:54No, she's not desperate, okay?
00:11:56This is her job.
00:11:57I don't know how to sex with a hooker.
00:11:58She's not a prostitute, okay?
00:12:02She's, she's like a, an expert.
00:12:07Um, let's say a sexpert.
00:12:11She's just got a lot of sexpertise, you know what I mean?
00:12:14Well, I, I, that's nice of you, man, but, uh, that's not really my thing.
00:12:18Oh, come on, man, relax.
00:12:21This is real intimacy.
00:12:24And frankly, it sounds like you need it.
00:12:28I don't, I don't understand what you mean.
00:12:30Think of her like a chef.
00:12:31Like, you know, a chef that comes to somebody's house, cooks them a meal, but just for you.
00:12:36And this chef makes a thousand dollars an hour.
00:12:39Thousand dollars?
00:12:40Just listen to me.
00:12:43This is fate calling, Kevin.
00:12:46Yeah.
00:12:47Drop the hammer, get off the roof, and get your f***ers to my party.
00:12:53Yo, Kev, what the hell is sex guaranteed, man?
00:12:56That guy Hank just called me and invited me over to have sex.
00:12:59Can you believe that?
00:13:01He's out of his mind I'm not having sex with a hooker.
00:13:03Hookers don't count.
00:13:04No, everyone counts.
00:13:06Not hookers.
00:13:08It's not the same as another girl.
00:13:09They're a subset.
00:13:11So what's a thousand dollars about?
00:13:14Like I said, it's how much she costs.
00:13:15A day?
00:13:16I'm thinking an hour.
00:13:18Oh, you gotta do it.
00:13:19Better be like f***ing professor of sex.
00:13:21She's gonna know more s*** than you ever even thought of.
00:13:24It's gonna be like, like, caving with, like, a minor.
00:13:28No, no, he's right.
00:13:29This could be good for you, Kevin.
00:13:31It's confronting your fears.
00:13:31This could break the curse.
00:13:34I'm not doing it.
00:13:35It's just stupid.
00:13:36I'm not going.
00:13:36Oh, you're doing it.
00:13:38Man, dude might throw you some cash for, you know, your bouncing heads and whatnot.
00:13:42Yeah, I mean, I guess I could stop by and then I wouldn't have to have the sex, right?
00:13:46It's a rich guy getting f***ed up in a goddamn mansion.
00:13:49This is your investor.
00:13:51Come on, we're going right now.
00:13:56Did we just not get invited to the party?
00:13:58I'm just gonna do some b***h.
00:14:00These are the rules of the egg fight.
00:14:09Open hand strikes only.
00:14:12There will be no fists allowed.
00:14:14Should the egg crack in your mouth, spit it out, stupid.
00:14:19Because you are the vanquisher.
00:14:22All right.
00:14:23Commence.
00:14:24You have offended me.
00:14:38I think I'm gonna start with the fastest growing stuff first and then move into our big vision
00:14:47for the place.
00:14:47Maybe you want to, you know, play along a little bit before you start asking for money?
00:14:51Look, if I grab the whole investment block here today, I mean, I could take Angie to the
00:14:56place.
00:14:56I could show her the lease.
00:14:57Forget about Angie.
00:14:58This is about money.
00:15:00If this guy wants to get you laid, then let him get you laid.
00:15:03You gotta do whatever this guy wants so that he will give you the money.
00:15:09It's a logical investment.
00:15:10I know it is.
00:15:16Be a man.
00:15:22Yeah.
00:15:24Give me a man.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:30Um, I was invited by the owner of the house.
00:15:35Oh, Jesus.
00:15:37Sorry.
00:15:38Um.
00:15:38Oh, sorry.
00:16:04Sorry.
00:16:08Come on, pass.
00:16:13Woo!
00:16:14Woo!
00:16:20Go, go, go, go, go!
00:16:22Yeah!
00:16:26Woo!
00:16:28Woo!
00:16:28Woo!
00:16:29That's how you do it!
00:16:43Beautiful!
00:16:44That's how you do it!
00:16:46Get in!
00:16:51What do you say, Kevin?
00:16:52You made it, buddy.
00:16:53I thought you might not show.
00:16:55Drink?
00:16:56Yeah, sure.
00:16:57Take a seat.
00:16:58This is the guy?
00:17:00Kevin, I'd like to introduce you to Zade.
00:17:04Zade?
00:17:05This is Kevin.
00:17:11Hi.
00:17:12I'm Zade.
00:17:14So how's life, Kevin?
00:17:16Life's good.
00:17:27There you go, Kev.
00:17:28You know that business I was telling you about?
00:17:32Yeah, it's trampolini.
00:17:34Jumping.
00:17:36You got a business model for that?
00:17:38How do you monetize that?
00:17:39Yeah.
00:17:40Trampolini is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:17:43They have it in schools now.
00:17:44It's huge in Asia.
00:17:45And how high do people get?
00:17:47And how high do people get?
00:17:50Three footers average, but professionals get a bit higher.
00:17:53They got all kinds of stuff.
00:17:54Like what?
00:17:56Oh, there's Sky Slam basketball.
00:17:59Phone pits.
00:18:00Synchronized trampolini.
00:18:02Synchronized trampolini?
00:18:04Synchronized trampolini?
00:18:05Yeah, you just get two trampolines side by side with some athletes on one and the other.
00:18:11And they actually got their own medal section at the Olympics.
00:18:15There, now we're in the rhythm, see?
00:18:18This is great.
00:18:20Yeah, this is pretty good.
00:18:22Yes!
00:18:23With weekend traffic, we expect $500 and with an entry fee of $12.20, it's going to be a real earner.
00:18:30How many of these trampolines you got over your place?
00:18:33And how many people can actually synchronize at any one time?
00:18:37Oh, well, we're thinking of starting with, you know, 30, 30 trampolines.
00:18:40Oh, huh.
00:18:42I could actually take you guys there right now.
00:18:44No, no, no.
00:18:45Let's do, um, let's do, I'm going to count to three and then we'll do, like, star jump.
00:18:49Okay.
00:18:49Okay, ready?
00:18:51One, two, three.
00:18:54Oh, shit.
00:18:56Sorry.
00:18:57Let me tell you something.
00:18:58That is a terrible investment.
00:19:00Kids?
00:19:01They're reliable, fickle.
00:19:04Think about the liability.
00:19:05What's happening to you?
00:19:06Carl, please.
00:19:07Come on, man.
00:19:08He's speaking about his dream, his passion.
00:19:11His passion.
00:19:13Right.
00:19:15I want you two to get to know each other.
00:19:17Have a little alone time.
00:19:18Okay?
00:19:19Citizens!
00:19:20Everybody!
00:19:20We're all moving to the tennis court right now!
00:19:23Tennis!
00:19:24What?
00:19:24We'll come with you.
00:19:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:19:26Zade here, she's going to make everything all right.
00:19:29Yeah, but...
00:19:30I want this to happen.
00:19:33Yeah.
00:19:34Wait a minute.
00:19:35How come she can't come with...
00:19:37Carl!
00:19:38Tennis court, man.
00:19:39Come on!
00:19:47Okay.
00:19:48Um...
00:19:48Hi, Ben.
00:19:49Hi.
00:19:52You guys head to the game room, grab the rackets, I'll meet you on the court.
00:19:57You got it.
00:19:59Hey, where you going?
00:20:01Putting on my whites.
00:20:02I get really wet, really quick.
00:20:09Tom, that's cool.
00:20:11What do you like?
00:20:13I'll do anything.
00:20:15Want me to be someone?
00:20:17Hmm?
00:20:18What do you want me to be?
00:20:19It's not that.
00:20:20You don't understand, okay?
00:20:25None of this was your fault.
00:20:26I was broken and useless before you left me.
00:20:33It's like I don't even know how regular people breathe anymore.
00:20:41And I love you, and I want to thank you for being so patient with me for so long.
00:20:48But I've learned now...
00:21:05That I'm not good enough for you, Karen.
00:21:09Never was.
00:21:14Not even good enough for this world anymore.
00:21:18But for once...
00:21:22For once, I'm going to do the right thing.
00:21:29Au revoir, Cherie.
00:21:33Au revoir.
00:21:36Look, you're so hot, okay?
00:21:38It's not you.
00:21:39It's me.
00:21:40What do you want?
00:21:42You want to get weird?
00:21:44No, I don't want to get weird.
00:21:48I want to f*** you.
00:21:52Okay, but...
00:21:52I'm getting paid to f*** you.
00:21:55If I don't f*** you, I look bad.
00:21:57And this is a new gig for me.
00:21:59So how about you just let me f*** you, and we both go about our business?
00:22:02Look, obviously I want to, okay?
00:22:04You're beautiful.
00:22:05But I'm on a hiatus right now.
00:22:09There's this other girl, okay?
00:22:11Well, it's her hiatus, really.
00:22:12But I just...
00:22:13I'm not having sex right now, okay?
00:22:15I'm happy to lie for you.
00:22:17I'm a good salesman.
00:22:18Don't f*** you.
00:22:23You won't f*** me.
00:22:24Sorry, Hank.
00:22:27I will f*** her.
00:22:29I should kill her.
00:22:30It'll make you feel better.
00:22:32Kevin, please.
00:22:33I'm not going to beg him.
00:22:35We were having fun before this asswipe showed up.
00:22:37I'm sorry.
00:22:38Go.
00:22:39You're not going.
00:22:41How's about that?
00:22:43Kevin here wants to win his lady back and thinks that celibacy is the way to go.
00:22:48Not always the way, no.
00:22:50Absolutely not.
00:22:51If you really want her back, the first thing you should do is f*** me.
00:22:55She makes a compelling argument, Kev.
00:22:57Why don't we just go somewhere quiet so we can at least talk?
00:23:00Look, if I told you the reason I don't want to do it, you'd understand.
00:23:09No one's judging here.
00:23:11It's a house rule.
00:23:12This is a no judgment zone, okay?
00:23:15It's personal.
00:23:16It's...
00:23:16I've got this problem.
00:23:20Is it a word?
00:23:21No, it's not that kind of thing.
00:23:23It's...
00:23:24It's like my dick is cursed.
00:23:27What?
00:23:30The first time I f***ed off, right?
00:23:33I'm in bed sick, home from school, and I'm watching TV, and the shuttle Columbia breaks apart on re-entry.
00:23:41You think you made the space shuttle explode?
00:23:47Indirectly.
00:23:48Yeah, but that was an accident.
00:23:50You can't take that personally.
00:23:54First girl I had sex with almost died.
00:23:58Zayth, please.
00:24:00I'm serious.
00:24:01We were 16, and we'd been dating for about a month.
00:24:04Well, the parents were out of town, so we had a little wine, and we're making noises, and she starts to scream.
00:24:12So I think I'm doing awesome.
00:24:15But then she ruptured a cyst or something, and she has to have surgery.
00:24:21And for the next three days, we're in the hospital.
00:24:24She had them before she met you.
00:24:27You're missing the point.
00:24:28Nine months ago, I was engaged to the most wonderful girl in the world.
00:24:34We were at our joint bachelor and bachelorette party.
00:24:53Wait a minute.
00:24:54That's not you being cursed.
00:24:56That's you getting caught getting a blowjob off a stripper.
00:24:59Yeah, because I'm a horny asshole, and I just should have said no.
00:25:03Anyways, I tried to explain myself.
00:25:06Angie, she died in my hands.
00:25:08Angie!
00:25:09She moved out the next day.
00:25:11Because of my dick, I lost the one thing I ever truly cared about.
00:25:19I mean, that's the saddest story I've ever heard.
00:25:22You just got caught cheating.
00:25:26End of story.
00:25:27No, no.
00:25:29That's way too many things to happen to one guy.
00:25:32He lost his one true love.
00:25:34There's nothing worse than the whole world.
00:25:37He's just a narcissist.
00:25:40How am I a narcissist?
00:25:42You think the world revolves around your dick.
00:25:45I don't want it to.
00:25:46It just does.
00:25:47No.
00:25:48Shit happens.
00:25:49It's just life.
00:25:51Didn't you hear his story?
00:25:52This man is cursed.
00:25:55This is ridiculous.
00:25:57None of this is connected.
00:25:59Let's just have sex.
00:26:00Nothing bad is going to happen.
00:26:01Are you serious right now?
00:26:03After everything I just told you, you still want to have sex with me?
00:26:05Trust me.
00:26:06I know what I'm doing.
00:26:08And we don't have to have sex.
00:26:09They can just touch it.
00:26:11Just do it, Kev.
00:26:13Give it a try.
00:26:15See?
00:26:15Isn't that nice?
00:26:19Guys, Carl's in trouble.
00:26:20We need help.
00:26:21Come on.
00:26:21Come on.
00:26:24Don't you move, man.
00:26:29Jesus.
00:26:31It won't go.
00:26:32Yeah, it's your new little blue pills, baby.
00:26:34Okay, there's something wrong here.
00:26:36I'm in pain.
00:26:37Carl, be honest with me.
00:26:39How many did you take?
00:26:40130 milligrams.
00:26:42God, man.
00:26:44You're not a rhinoceros.
00:26:46Get some ice, Kevin, now.
00:26:51Oh, my God.
00:26:56Breathe, breathe.
00:26:58There you go, nice.
00:26:58All right.
00:27:00What the hell is this?
00:27:02Ready?
00:27:03All right, Carl, listen.
00:27:09You got this.
00:27:10You can do this.
00:27:11I know you can, all right?
00:27:12It's like an itch.
00:27:12You just have to disassociate yourself from it.
00:27:15Trust him, Carl.
00:27:17Okay, look.
00:27:18I haven't had sex in nine months, okay?
00:27:20I know what I'm doing.
00:27:20Just listen to me.
00:27:22Right.
00:27:23So what you do is imagine you're Anne Frank.
00:27:25Please take me to the hospital.
00:27:27Carl, what you've got is called priapism.
00:27:29No hospitals.
00:27:31I know a better place.
00:27:32See?
00:27:33Straight ahead.
00:27:34Whatever you say, boss.
00:27:35You ever notice how people are only really real when they're sick or they're dying?
00:27:47Or orgasmic.
00:27:49Bad things always come from sex.
00:27:51Oh, shut up.
00:27:52It's true.
00:27:52Without sex, there wouldn't be fighting, divorce, wars.
00:27:56What the f*** are you talking about?
00:27:58Without sex, there's also no release.
00:28:01No fun.
00:28:02Okay, bad things come from recreational sex.
00:28:07What's recreational sex to you?
00:28:09Careless sex.
00:28:10Sex that nobody put any thought into.
00:28:12Oh my God, you are a freak.
00:28:20What's in this?
00:28:21IV therapy.
00:28:22They have my recipe on file.
00:28:24I'm serious.
00:28:26I'm not going to let this guy's life be ruined.
00:28:29How are you going to do that?
00:28:30That's nice, Hank, but there's nothing you can do.
00:28:32I need to just make my business a success and hope that Angie sees I've changed.
00:28:38Yes.
00:28:39That's it.
00:28:40You got it.
00:28:42You're going to go to Angie's.
00:28:43You're going to tell her that your trampoline thing he's got off the ground and you're a new man.
00:28:47Yeah, but...
00:28:47You're a genius.
00:28:48Well, that's not true.
00:28:50It is true.
00:28:51You let me fix this and I'll invest in trampoline world.
00:28:57What?
00:28:59I'll give you the money.
00:29:02You're going to give me the money?
00:29:04I'll give you the startup funds, yes.
00:29:06How much can it cost?
00:29:07250, 300 grand?
00:29:09I need $60,000.
00:29:15You only need 60 grand to start a business in America?
00:29:19What a great country this is, huh?
00:29:22All right, I'm going to get you the money.
00:29:24We're going to go talk to her, tell her all about it.
00:29:25We're going to clean this whole mess up today.
00:29:27We can't go see her today.
00:29:29I mean, I need to make sure the business is up and running and then...
00:29:32No, no, we're doing it today.
00:29:35We're doing it now.
00:29:37I'm not letting your one true love get away.
00:29:39We are going to her house right now.
00:29:42I'm not letting you make the same mistakes I've made.
00:29:46I'm going to get this done if it's the last thing I do.
00:29:51Why are you being so nice to me, hey?
00:29:57Love is the most important thing in the world, man.
00:30:01It's what everything's about.
00:30:03Without love, you got nothing.
00:30:06Zero.
00:30:07I'm not letting you disappear, Kev.
00:30:10Come on.
00:30:14Really?
00:30:15Hello, darling.
00:30:16Can I borrow a pen and the loose?
00:30:18This is my only pen.
00:30:20I need it for my charts.
00:30:23I'm good for it.
00:30:24I cross my heart.
00:30:27Let me see that arm.
00:30:29The 60, right?
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:31Okay.
00:30:32Let's make it 80.
00:30:34What's the date today?
00:30:36The 31st.
00:30:3831st.
00:30:40Hey.
00:30:40Here we are.
00:30:42Yeah.
00:30:43I don't know what to say.
00:30:45Just get the girl back and we're all square.
00:30:49I'll see you outside.
00:30:56So how'd you get in this line of work?
00:30:58I like sex.
00:31:00I pretty much f*** everyone I go on a date with anyway, so I thought I might as well get paid
00:31:05for it.
00:31:06Isn't it dangerous?
00:31:08No.
00:31:09What if you don't want to do it?
00:31:10I don't do it.
00:31:11Isn't it degrading?
00:31:12I mean...
00:31:13Here's the deal.
00:31:13Sandy's going to stay with Carl.
00:31:15I've given her combat pay.
00:31:16She's going to get him up and moving out.
00:31:18I feel fantastic.
00:31:23Okay.
00:31:24Pop the trunk.
00:31:24I'm going to change.
00:31:27Thank you, Zade.
00:31:29Always got to be prepared.
00:31:31Okay.
00:31:42So let's focus.
00:31:43Where do we find this, Andrew?
00:31:45Why can't I just show a better word?
00:31:47Why not?
00:31:48What'd she do?
00:31:49Well, she's a school teacher.
00:31:50Of course she is.
00:31:52God love teachers.
00:31:53What'd she teach?
00:31:54Reading?
00:31:55Math?
00:31:56PE.
00:31:58She doesn't teach trampolining by any chance?
00:32:00No.
00:32:02I mean, she does, but that's not all she does.
00:32:05I mean, she...
00:32:05I love this.
00:32:06We're going to go to the school.
00:32:08She'll be getting off soon.
00:32:09You're going to tell her you're sorry in front of the kids.
00:32:11It'll be like in all those films.
00:32:13Then the kids will tell her to kiss you.
00:32:15It'll be great.
00:32:17I don't think we should go anywhere near her work.
00:32:20Do you want the 80 grand or not?
00:32:22Oh, boy.
00:32:36Okay.
00:32:37You're going to go in there.
00:32:39You're going to tell her you're a big success now and that you want her back.
00:32:42And why is she going to believe I'm some big success now?
00:32:47Because you've got my IOU.
00:32:49Yeah.
00:32:50Breaking on my arm.
00:32:51It sure is.
00:32:53Okay.
00:32:55Then I'll take a photo.
00:32:56I'll take a picture of your arm and it'll act as a legal note.
00:33:00Why don't you just write him a check?
00:33:01Okay, what's your name, Kevin?
00:33:07Uh, McDonald.
00:33:08Uh, M-A-C.
00:33:09McDonald.
00:33:12All right.
00:33:13We're going to wait for you here.
00:33:16This is a bad idea.
00:33:18I mean, this...
00:33:19First of all, it's not a bad idea.
00:33:21Okay?
00:33:22And frankly, personally, I'm insulted with your negativity.
00:33:26You've got to show this woman that you're invested in her, man.
00:33:29You've got to do something dramatic.
00:33:32That's romantic.
00:33:34Yeah, but...
00:33:35It's just not normal.
00:33:38Well, let me tell you something, Kevin McDonald.
00:33:41All grand passions are abnormal.
00:33:46That's what makes them grand.
00:33:50Go get him, kid.
00:33:53Here goes nothing.
00:33:57Hey, should we go with him?
00:33:59Would Richard Axley please report to the main office?
00:34:05Man, I hated school.
00:34:08You too.
00:34:09I loved it.
00:34:10Best time of my life.
00:34:13Being a kid.
00:34:14Again, Richard Axley please report to the main office.
00:34:18Is this whole trampolining thing a ploy to get her back?
00:34:22No.
00:34:23You know she didn't leave you because of the blowjob.
00:34:25Shh, come on.
00:34:26She did.
00:34:28No, no one ever leaves someone because of sex.
00:34:31What are you talking about?
00:34:32People leave each other all the time because of affairs.
00:34:34They don't.
00:34:34They leave because they don't love each other enough.
00:34:37And that's why the affair happens.
00:34:41Well, I love Angie.
00:34:42Always have.
00:34:43Not enough.
00:34:44You wouldn't have gotten a blowjob if you did.
00:34:46Here we go.
00:34:47Game time.
00:34:48Can I help you?
00:34:50Oh, yeah.
00:34:50We're here to see Angie Cooper.
00:34:52And who are you?
00:34:54I'm just a friend.
00:34:55An old friend of hers.
00:34:56And who are you two?
00:34:58We're new friends.
00:34:59Mm-hmm.
00:35:00I remember the chairs being bigger.
00:35:02Does everyone say that?
00:35:05Miss Cooper isn't in today.
00:35:07She's ill.
00:35:09Oh, God.
00:35:10What's wrong with her?
00:35:11Well, I can't divulge personal information.
00:35:13I'd be happy to send her a message.
00:35:15Great.
00:35:16Yeah, if you could just tell her that Kevin...
00:35:17No, no.
00:35:17That's fine.
00:35:18I'll call her.
00:35:19Mm-hmm.
00:35:20Thanks.
00:35:22Name.
00:35:23Lovely school.
00:35:25We're gonna spread out.
00:35:33She's sick, so she's vulnerable.
00:35:36We need to put together a care package that says,
00:35:39I love you.
00:35:39That says, I'm gonna look after you forever.
00:35:43I'll take aisles one and two.
00:35:45Kevin, three and four.
00:35:46Zade, five and six.
00:35:50How long have you known him?
00:35:53Nine hours.
00:35:55Give or take.
00:36:01I think this is a good idea.
00:36:03I mean, wouldn't you think it was weird
00:36:04if your ex showed up at your house
00:36:06with a stranger and a cross?
00:36:09Another lurr-er-er-another lady?
00:36:13I'd probably find that weird,
00:36:15but that's also why I'd like it.
00:36:18You'd like it.
00:36:19Why not?
00:36:20Show the imagination.
00:36:21Maybe, but Angie's not like you.
00:36:23How is she different?
00:36:24I don't know.
00:36:27She just doesn't talk about sex all the time.
00:36:31I get it.
00:36:32Holy shit.
00:36:33You're a f***ing prude.
00:36:36I'm not a prude.
00:36:37Then why do you scram at any mention of anything sexual?
00:36:41Prudish.
00:36:42Not prudish.
00:36:43I'm not prudish.
00:36:44Not at all.
00:36:45Then prove it.
00:36:46What are three words that, when put together, it get nasty?
00:36:49I'm not doing this.
00:36:52Three words.
00:36:53I'm not playing, Zade.
00:36:56You are not very madly, are you, Kev?
00:37:01Smelly poop truck.
00:37:02That's it.
00:37:03Three more.
00:37:05Disgust me.
00:37:05You know, you're really smart.
00:37:09I'm really pretty.
00:37:11You don't have to be so aggressive.
00:37:15Baggy, vag, mouth.
00:37:16Oh!
00:37:16I'm really sorry.
00:37:19I was just making a joke.
00:37:21What was the joke?
00:37:23Excuse me?
00:37:25I didn't hear it.
00:37:26What was the joke?
00:37:29Knock, knock.
00:37:31Who's there?
00:37:32Isabel.
00:37:33Isabel who?
00:37:34Isabel necessary on a bicycle?
00:37:38Shit, I'm sorry I even asked.
00:37:45I thought it was funny.
00:37:46You totally fell apart back there.
00:38:01I did not.
00:38:03Man, you did.
00:38:04Like a little girl.
00:38:06And that isn't technically a word, by the way.
00:38:09Well, you're not technically a businessman.
00:38:11Yes, I am.
00:38:12No, you're not.
00:38:14Look at you.
00:38:14You look like a guy who cleans a pool.
00:38:17You do?
00:38:18She's right.
00:38:19We got to get you looking sharp.
00:38:21Like Angie's idea of an entrepreneur.
00:38:23Let's go shopping.
00:38:25Come on.
00:38:29Doing this for you, Kev.
00:38:30Come on.
00:38:31Is it true what they say about guys with medium-sized feet?
00:38:41Zade, pick out a pair if you want.
00:38:43No, thanks.
00:38:44Not really my style.
00:38:46Should I have gotten Carl a suit?
00:38:48You know what?
00:38:49I haven't heard from Sandy.
00:38:50All right, so when she opens the door, what should I say again?
00:38:57You're telling her that you've succeeded, okay?
00:39:00You're going to show her the check and that you're sorry.
00:39:02That's...
00:39:04That's too strange.
00:39:07All right.
00:39:09Tell her that without her, you're nothing but a shadow.
00:39:13Tell her that your heart is like a mauled hedgehog smashed up against the blades of a lawnmower.
00:39:22Here, Zade, keep trying Sandy, will you?
00:39:26Here, let me check this out.
00:39:28Hank, you need a new phone.
00:39:30Yeah, I'd go down half a size, Kev.
00:39:32I mean, it all depends on your choice of sock.
00:39:34Yeah, we'll go down half a size.
00:39:36I agree.
00:39:37Here.
00:39:39What would you say?
00:39:40Seriously, Zade.
00:39:42Maybe don't talk about yourself so much.
00:39:44Tell her that she's your miracle.
00:39:47That without her, your life means nothing.
00:39:50Tell her that she's more beautiful than the full moon in Montana
00:39:55or the poetry of Rumi
00:39:57or any other beautiful thing man or nature has yet made.
00:40:02Tell her that she's a genius of Einsteinian proportions
00:40:08and that she's sexy and does sexy well
00:40:12and that you really, really, really love her.
00:40:20Well, Zade, that was really, really good.
00:40:27That's an handsome fit, sir.
00:40:30Great, we'll take him.
00:40:36Let's run for it.
00:40:38Stop, wait.
00:40:41Come on, people, come on.
00:40:43We got this.
00:40:51Come on, guys.
00:40:54Come on, guys.
00:41:25It wasn't the clerk's fault.
00:41:27Those plastic tags are a nuisance.
00:41:32What a straight razor gives us a concealed weapon.
00:41:35I have a collection.
00:41:37That's an antique.
00:41:38That doesn't mean that you can carry.
00:41:40I sincerely apologize, officers.
00:41:42Look, you have to understand where we're coming from.
00:41:45You were running through a place of business with a weapon.
00:41:48It was all part of a romantic gesture.
00:41:50My friend here lost his true love.
00:41:53We're giving him a makeover.
00:41:54He's going to win her back.
00:41:56Come on, guys.
00:42:00I'm not against romantic gestures, per se.
00:42:03It's true.
00:42:05He's not.
00:42:06Officer, it was a misunderstanding.
00:42:07Come on.
00:42:11I'm moved by your argument.
00:42:13So I'm going to let you go with a warning.
00:42:16But we're going to keep the razor.
00:42:17Thank you, officers.
00:42:19Give love, get love, sir.
00:42:22Can I give you a hug?
00:42:31Now that's unfortunate.
00:42:33I can't believe they couldn't look the other way.
00:42:49Drugs are drugs.
00:42:50They couldn't have looked the other way.
00:42:51You're such a f***ing prude.
00:42:54Where are we going?
00:42:55I need shoes.
00:42:57Hang out in the car.
00:42:58Where are we?
00:42:59Wait in the car.
00:43:00I'll be back in a minute.
00:43:03Zade, is this your brothel?
00:43:06No one says brothel.
00:43:16Jesus, Zade, what the hell are you doing?
00:43:23Oh.
00:43:24Come on, Zade.
00:43:39Jesus, throw at it.
00:43:40No one's doing anything.
00:44:06No one's doing anything.
00:44:08.
00:44:25All right, where are you, Zade?
00:44:29May I help you?
00:44:30Oh, uh...
00:44:33I'm here to see Zade.
00:44:35Zade?
00:44:36Yeah, Zade.
00:44:38He thinks your work's here.
00:44:39Well, that's funny.
00:44:41Because it's just my family, as far as I know.
00:44:44And while some might call that work, I...
00:44:46Sorry. Um...
00:44:49Must be the wrong address.
00:44:51Kev?
00:44:53I told you to wait in the car.
00:44:55I'll be down in a minute.
00:45:00I think you should come in.
00:45:08Okay.
00:45:12Lemon juice, sugar, and water.
00:45:16Tell me if it needs anything else.
00:45:19And how exactly do you know Millie?
00:45:23Millie.
00:45:25Uh, Millicent, my daughter.
00:45:28Oh, um...
00:45:31We met through a mutual friend.
00:45:33Mutual friend?
00:45:34Uh, work friend, really.
00:45:36Kevin, are you a rioter, too?
00:45:40No.
00:45:42Well, what is it exactly that you do?
00:45:45Um, in construction?
00:45:47My daughter knows people in construction.
00:45:51Well, our mutual friend threw party, and then...
00:45:54and Millie was there.
00:45:57Was Monique there?
00:45:58No.
00:46:00Monique is a friend of Millie's.
00:46:03Great tits.
00:46:05I'm actually getting out of construction.
00:46:08Uh, gonna start my own business.
00:46:10Gonna call it Trampoline World.
00:46:12It's gonna be this amusement park in the warehouse district.
00:46:15We're gonna have Skyslam basketball, uh, foam pits.
00:46:19We actually have a lot of...
00:46:20Kevin, there's nothing wrong with construction.
00:46:22We should split.
00:46:24If you like, I could send you some literature.
00:46:26Trampolining is one of the fastest-growing sports in America.
00:46:29It actually just got featured in Delta's Sky Magazine.
00:46:32Our friend's been arrested.
00:46:33We should go.
00:46:34Arrested?
00:46:35For what?
00:46:36Drugs.
00:46:38Millie has such colorful friends.
00:46:40What's Monique doing these days?
00:46:42Okay, let's go.
00:46:44Thank you, Pat, for the...
00:46:46lemon...
00:46:47spell.
00:46:50Shut up.
00:46:51I didn't say anything.
00:46:52You were thinking it.
00:46:53Nope.
00:46:55I'm not a liar.
00:46:56I just don't feel the need to tell everyone everything.
00:46:59Okay.
00:47:01Don't judge me.
00:47:02I'm not.
00:47:04You have a beautiful home.
00:47:09It's really nice.
00:47:15You really shouldn't be doing this, you know?
00:47:18I mean, any guy with half a brain would call you back.
00:47:22You could have, like, a really great job.
00:47:25I have a job.
00:47:27Yeah, but it's...
00:47:28it's dirty.
00:47:31It's not like you need the money.
00:47:32You are judging me, asshole.
00:47:34The only reason you're going through with any of this
00:47:36is because of that check.
00:47:37Oh, and who is it that charges $1,000 an hour for their company?
00:47:41Parasites.
00:47:42Yeah, well, at least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not.
00:47:45Pretending to be some kind of hooker or something?
00:47:47It's rude to hookers.
00:47:48People don't work at McDonald's because they like it.
00:47:51It's a job.
00:47:52You're slumming it and it's bullshit.
00:47:54I'm going to get Hank, driving him home,
00:47:56and then this whole is over.
00:48:02Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:08Let's try that one more time.
00:48:09Okay.
00:48:10Okay, one, two, three, four.
00:48:12Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:17We're good at this, man.
00:48:18We should take this on the road.
00:48:19You and me.
00:48:20Hey, isn't there something we could do to expedite this?
00:48:28And who might you be?
00:48:31Um, I was hired by Hank.
00:48:37Lawyer?
00:48:39No, personal advisor.
00:48:41Well, you need a law degree to be a personal advisor in here.
00:48:44Why don't you take a seat and the judge will see him in an hour or so.
00:48:49Keep smiling.
00:48:53No physical body contact beyond initial and departing embrace
00:48:58will be tolerated and will result in termination of the visit.
00:49:02You like barbecue?
00:49:12Might as well talk since we're stuck here.
00:49:15Her name's Sunny.
00:49:17I'm Zade.
00:49:19Hey, man.
00:49:20Why don't you just give her a break, okay?
00:49:22She's had a tough day.
00:49:23Zade, why not come sit here?
00:49:25I'm fine.
00:49:27She's fine.
00:49:29So, I got this sauce called Smokin' Not Broken.
00:49:34Hey, don't, don't do that.
00:49:35Don't touch your leg.
00:49:36It's not okay to touch people you don't know.
00:49:38Occasional hand-holding is acceptable.
00:49:39Oh, whatever.
00:49:40I didn't even know y'all was together.
00:49:42You don't have to be together to care about each other.
00:49:45I don't have to be together to care about each other.
00:49:48You don't have to be together to care about each other.
00:49:54I'm waiting in the car.
00:50:01It's not okay to touch people you don't know.
00:50:07So, what kind of stuff do you write?
00:50:11Stories.
00:50:13Short ones, mostly.
00:50:15I'm writing one now about this woman who's having an affair with this guy,
00:50:20and then finds out that she's only one of many.
00:50:23It's called the other, other woman.
00:50:29I think you'd be a good writer.
00:50:32You do?
00:50:33Sure.
00:50:34Why?
00:50:35Because you take chances.
00:50:37You say things other people won't.
00:50:39You're different.
00:50:40You should feel good about who you are.
00:50:46It's the death of romance.
00:50:50We're living through the murder of romance.
00:50:52Get me?
00:50:53I get you.
00:50:54Yeah.
00:50:55When you're in love, people do things they normally wouldn't.
00:50:59I was sitting there imagining the rest of our lives together.
00:51:02We get a villa in Italy.
00:51:04She makes the lunch.
00:51:06I till the land.
00:51:08Our kids are running through the sunflower field.
00:51:12Yeah.
00:51:13It's beautiful.
00:51:15Yeah.
00:51:21There'll be trampolines everywhere.
00:51:22People bounces around.
00:51:24Just good, clean American fun, you know?
00:51:27You're a very strange person, Kevin McDonald.
00:51:33There's gonna be a juice bar over there.
00:51:35A juice bar is not sexy.
00:51:37It's not meant to be sexy.
00:51:38Well, then people aren't gonna come.
00:51:40What are you calling it?
00:51:44Trampoline world.
00:51:46No, you're not calling it that.
00:51:48All right, what would you call it?
00:51:50Call it tramps.
00:51:52I like it.
00:51:53Get one of those fake fluorescent signs.
00:51:56Maybe a bouncing stiletto, slowly filling up with champagne.
00:52:00Nice.
00:52:01You know?
00:52:02And light bulbs for bubbles.
00:52:03You see, you are a good writer.
00:52:05No, I'm not.
00:52:07I just write stuff that happens.
00:52:09So you're the other, other woman.
00:52:15Don't look at me with sad dog eyes.
00:52:19I knew what I was doing.
00:52:21I bet it's real interesting.
00:52:25How would you know?
00:52:27All right, because roofers don't read.
00:52:31You're rude and angry and really, really spoiled.
00:52:38But you're not sad.
00:52:44And you're narcissistic and indulgent.
00:52:48But you're not stupid.
00:52:58What is that?
00:53:00Harmonica.
00:53:02Really?
00:53:04It was so small.
00:53:06Does it play?
00:53:07Yeah, it does.
00:53:08It does.
00:53:11Oh, wow.
00:53:15We should probably go get Hank.
00:53:19Okay.
00:53:25Anybody got the time over there?
00:53:28Working out there?
00:53:29It's just a little PROLAPSE.
00:53:46So...
00:53:48What's a PROLAPSE?
00:53:50It's when either your anus or your vagina are pushed inside out of your body.
00:54:02That's a good word.
00:54:12Sorry.
00:54:14I never had any kids. I always wanted them, though.
00:54:22How come?
00:54:23She wanted to wait. How dumb am I, huh?
00:54:27You know, I was never once unfaithful to her. Not once.
00:54:31I loved her wholly, unabashedly from the first day I met her.
00:54:39She was my everything.
00:54:41Did she find someone else?
00:54:44Yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:54:47She said I was an emotional cripple,
00:54:49but she couldn't remember what she loved about me in the first place.
00:54:52People make out like women are the romantics, but it's not true.
00:54:56We're the knights, the last of the noble breed.
00:55:01I'm gonna die today.
00:55:05Who's after you?
00:55:08No one.
00:55:11Well, you let me know if somebody's after you, because I got a guy for that.
00:55:18Landry!
00:55:21Well, looks like I'm sprung, kid.
00:55:24Good luck to you.
00:55:26Keep it in your pants.
00:55:27Thank you, sir.
00:55:29Mes amis! Superb!
00:55:33Salut, monsieur! On y va!
00:55:35The happy band are back together.
00:55:37Was it terrible in jail?
00:55:39Oh, it was okay. I met a nice kid.
00:55:41Oh, yeah? What was he in for?
00:55:43He masturbated on some girl on a bus.
00:55:46Jesus.
00:55:48Hank, I got carried away.
00:55:50I'd rather someone put cum on me than a booger.
00:55:53What?
00:55:54It's sterile. It's straight from the testes.
00:55:56Booger is a waste.
00:55:57I bet you think a blow job is fine, but you wouldn't blow your nose in a girl's mouth.
00:56:02Enough.
00:56:03Let's go find this Annie.
00:56:06Let's just go home, Hank. I think we're done for today.
00:56:08No, no way. I'm not giving up now.
00:56:10Hank, I really don't mind.
00:56:11Well, I do mind. I just wasted half my day in jail.
00:56:14I'm finding Annie.
00:56:16Angie.
00:56:17It doesn't matter what her name is. I'm finding her.
00:56:19We could just take, like, a small break.
00:56:21No.
00:56:22Look, something's gotta work here, okay?
00:56:25I mean, love, it has to mean something.
00:56:28I need to know that in this world, it's not just pure, disappointing shit.
00:56:33And I don't care what you two do, but I'm going to Annie's.
00:56:36I got a plan.
00:56:38Anderle.
00:56:52Just up here on the left.
00:56:55Maybe we should just ring the doorbell.
00:56:57He said she won't talk to you.
00:56:59What are we doing here?
00:57:00Waiting.
00:57:01For what?
00:57:02For someone to let us in.
00:57:04Burglars don't have balloons.
00:57:07I got to piss.
00:57:10Hold onto these.
00:57:11Wait.
00:57:12What?
00:57:15This is a bad idea.
00:57:16Why?
00:57:17You don't even like her.
00:57:19You're just caught up in the obsession.
00:57:22You think you're in love, but it's just this stab of rejection.
00:57:28Do you want to be with her?
00:57:31Really, with her?
00:57:37I'm going.
00:57:38Why?
00:57:39What's so great about her?
00:57:40You don't have anything to say?
00:57:41Okay.
00:57:42Well, good luck with that.
00:57:44See?
00:57:45Magic.
00:57:46Well, hello there.
00:57:47How are you?
00:57:48Is it my birthday?
00:57:49It is.
00:57:50Happy birthday, darling.
00:57:51Hey, I don't think I want the balloons.
00:57:53Losing me.
00:57:54Losing me.
00:57:55Come on.
00:57:56Is that it?
00:57:57I'm going to knock them.
00:57:58Got this.
00:57:59I'm going to knock them.
00:58:00I got this.
00:58:02I'm going to knock them.
00:58:03Well, hello there. How are you?
00:58:05Oh, is it my birthday?
00:58:06It is. Happy birthday, darling.
00:58:08Hey, I don't think I want the balloons.
00:58:11Losing me. Come on.
00:58:15Is that it?
00:58:18I'm going knockdown.
00:58:20I got this.
00:58:23Be firm.
00:58:25Be aggressive, Kev.
00:58:32Angie.
00:58:33Oh, what are you doing here?
00:58:36Okay, listen.
00:58:38I've come to tell you that I think that you're like sunsets in Montana.
00:58:43Oh, God. Kevin.
00:58:44No, listen, just hear me out, okay?
00:58:46Who is that?
00:58:48I'm no one.
00:58:50I'm proud of you.
00:58:53You're like the poetry of Rummy,
00:58:56and you have Einsteinian proportions,
00:58:58and I like spending time with you,
00:59:01and I treasure you,
00:59:03and...
00:59:04Angie, five-letter word starts with an L.
00:59:07Insect Steve.
00:59:08Sounds like Steve.
00:59:13That's it.
00:59:19Steve.
00:59:19What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:25Crossword?
00:59:26What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:27What are you doing here?
00:59:29What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:30She called me, and she needs some help with her track lightings.
00:59:32Just tell him.
00:59:34Listen, it just happened, Kev.
00:59:37You're sleeping with her?
00:59:38Listen, just a misunderstanding.
00:59:40Yeah, he is.
00:59:42We're in love.
00:59:44Oh, you're in love with her?
00:59:45No.
00:59:47We made some bad decisions, and...
00:59:49Why didn't you tell me?
00:59:50We didn't want to hurt you.
00:59:53You said she wasn't good enough for me.
00:59:58And you're right.
01:00:01You're right.
01:00:02And you.
01:00:03I didn't mean all that shit about Montana, okay?
01:00:06Someone told me to say that.
01:00:08And, uh...
01:00:09I got a blowjob from that stripper
01:00:11because I didn't love you enough.
01:00:29Stupid.
01:00:31Give me the keys.
01:00:32Bro, I'm so sorry.
01:00:34Listen, I'm going to find you the money
01:00:35for a trampoline road, all right?
01:00:37I think it's a...
01:00:38Just give me the...
01:00:39Jeez.
01:00:43Here.
01:00:44You can never be a part of a trampoline road.
01:01:02Hello.
01:01:03I bet you didn't think you'd hear from me today.
01:01:06I'm sorry.
01:01:07I don't know what to say.
01:01:08I just...
01:01:09I miss you.
01:01:10And I want you to know that you were right
01:01:12about me being in a wheelchair emotionally.
01:01:14I've learned now that I wasn't good enough for you, Karen.
01:01:27And, uh, I'm not even good enough for this world anymore.
01:01:31Don't go into the red room, okay?
01:01:34I keep all my records in the bureau
01:01:37so you can have everything that you want.
01:01:39Uh, take anything, leave what you don't want.
01:01:42Uh, Hank's phone?
01:01:49Hi, it's me.
01:01:51I am a giant asshole.
01:01:53I made a huge mistake
01:01:54and I'd like to take it all back.
01:01:57Is Hank with you?
01:01:58I realize now
01:01:59that you are more interesting
01:02:01than anything in Montana
01:02:02and than any movie
01:02:04or any poetry written at...
01:02:05Just shut up.
01:02:06Where's Hank?
01:02:08What?
01:02:09Something's wrong with Hank.
01:02:10What's wrong with Hank?
01:02:12You have to find him, Kevin.
01:02:13He's gonna kill himself.
01:02:15What?
01:02:16I found a video on his phone.
01:02:17He's gonna do it now, today.
01:02:19That doesn't make any sense.
01:02:21He was happy when we left.
01:02:22He thinks Angie and I got back together.
01:02:24That's worse.
01:02:25That's what he wanted.
01:02:26Go to the red room.
01:02:27He said not to go into the red room.
01:02:36Hank!
01:02:42Hank!
01:02:43Oh, my God, Hank!
01:02:45Ah!
01:02:46Ah!
01:02:47Ah!
01:02:48Ah!
01:02:49Ah!
01:02:50Where is Hank?
01:02:55Carl, he might hurt himself, okay?
01:02:56I need to know where Hank is.
01:02:58He's taking a nap.
01:02:59Just like everybody else!
01:03:01Just tell me where he is!
01:03:03Wait a minute.
01:03:03Wait a minute.
01:03:04Shut up!
01:03:06What day is it?
01:03:09Friday.
01:03:10Oh, no, no, no.
01:03:12Oh, no.
01:03:12Oh, God.
01:03:13Oh, God.
01:03:13That can't be good.
01:03:17Carl, where's Hank?
01:03:18I told you, mother f*****g!
01:03:22He's taking a nap!
01:03:28Hank!
01:03:29Hank!
01:03:31Hank!
01:03:32Hank!
01:03:41Hank!
01:03:43Are you out there?
01:03:44I'm fine.
01:03:50Wanted to get a little air is all.
01:03:54I'm coming out!
01:03:57It's a long way down, buddy.
01:04:01Hank, I'm a f*****g roofer.
01:04:03Good point.
01:04:06I just want to talk.
01:04:09It's been a frantic last few days, Kevin.
01:04:21I'm not going to kill myself, if that's what you're thinking.
01:04:25That's good.
01:04:26I just, uh, I wanted to hang out for a while.
01:04:30Well, you didn't invite me to this party, remember?
01:04:37Had to go with Angie.
01:04:41She was having sex with my brother.
01:04:43What?
01:04:46That's basically it.
01:04:48Jesus.
01:04:50God, I am a waste of space, huh?
01:04:55And this.
01:04:57This pen.
01:04:57Remember that?
01:04:58I stole it from that nice nurse.
01:05:00I mean, I am a f*****g asshole.
01:05:03That's not true.
01:05:04It is true.
01:05:05I'm a dark hole.
01:05:06I don't make anyone feel good.
01:05:09Hank, you probably just need some sleep.
01:05:11Why don't you just come back inside?
01:05:17Kevin.
01:05:20You're a good guy.
01:05:22You are.
01:05:23But we're not even really friends.
01:05:25And how sad is that?
01:05:28Look who's at my party, for example.
01:05:31Got a bunch of guys I've barely met.
01:05:34Girls that I've paid for.
01:05:35And Carl.
01:05:37Carl, for Christ's sakes.
01:05:40I didn't want this.
01:05:46Just wanted to go out quietly.
01:05:48Have something good happen.
01:05:50Before I left.
01:05:51Something, something good has happened.
01:05:56What the f*****g are you doing up there?
01:05:58Zade.
01:06:02You want to have sex with me?
01:06:04Get the f*****g out from there!
01:06:06I should let you know that I'm not hung up on Angie anymore.
01:06:12Think I might love Millicent.
01:06:13Millicent.
01:06:17Why?
01:06:20She's funny.
01:06:22Smart.
01:06:24Brave.
01:06:26And?
01:06:28And beautiful.
01:06:29You're really beautiful.
01:06:30Even when you're being disgusting.
01:06:35You're an idiot.
01:06:37I know.
01:06:38I'd still really like to have sex with you though.
01:06:41Not gonna happen.
01:06:44Dammit, Zade.
01:06:45Stop being such a f*****g prune.
01:06:54Okay.
01:06:56See?
01:06:58Just come back inside.
01:07:00Zade and I can have sexual intercourse.
01:07:03You're just saying that to make me feel better.
01:07:05Well, if you don't come back inside and you jump, Zade and I definitely won't have sex.
01:07:17How about it?
01:07:19He jumps?
01:07:21You still gonna do me?
01:07:23Definitely not.
01:07:28Alright.
01:07:29Enough of this s*****, huh?
01:07:32I don't want to drink anyway.
01:07:33This beer is flattened.
01:07:35Wait.
01:07:36Hold on.
01:07:37Hey!
01:07:38Hey!
01:07:38Hey!
01:07:39Hey!
01:07:39Hey!
01:07:43Ah!
01:07:44Hold me up, you son of a b*****!
01:07:46Hold on, man!
01:07:47Hold on!
01:07:50Ah!
01:07:50Ah!
01:07:51Ah!
01:08:05Ah!
01:08:05Ah!
01:08:06Ah!
01:08:14Is he asleep?
01:08:16I think so.
01:08:16I don't think so.
01:08:30There's clean sheets in the walk-in closet.
01:08:33Swiss cotton.
01:08:46I'm sure you want to do this?
01:08:55Yeah.
01:08:56Oh, okay.
01:09:03We broke the curse.
01:09:07So can I call you?
01:09:10Why do you need to call me?
01:09:13So we can see each other, okay?
01:09:16It'll cost you.
01:09:20How much does the day pass at Tramps again?
01:09:27Nothing bad happened.
01:09:29No.
01:09:34I think you should get that.
01:09:37Okay.
01:09:39If it's a stripper, don't let her in.
01:09:41Okay.
01:09:46Holy...
01:09:47Shit.
01:09:49God, you okay?
01:09:51I'm okay.
01:09:52I'm okay.
01:09:53I'm okay.
01:09:54Okay.
01:09:55Okay.
01:09:56I'm okay.
01:09:57I'm not cursed.
01:09:58I'm not cursed.
01:09:59I'm not cursed.
01:10:01Ah.
01:10:05Hello.
01:10:06I pressed the bell.
01:10:07I pressed the bell.
01:10:20That's right.
01:10:21You did press the bell.
01:10:24How you doing, buddy?
01:10:25Good.
01:10:26Good.
01:10:27Hey, Kev.
01:10:28Always a pleasure.
01:10:29God bless.
01:10:30You ready to go to Queer Inn?
01:10:31Yes, how long?
01:10:32Okay, let's do it.
01:10:33Hi, honey.
01:10:34Hi.
01:10:35How are you?
01:10:36Good.
01:10:37Oh, that was a good party.
01:10:40Are you guys married?
01:10:41Happily.
01:10:43It's classic romance.
01:10:45You look like the guy who cleans the pool.
01:10:58Are you okay up on those heels?
01:11:08I hate lines.
01:11:10Girls never have trouble at the door.
01:11:13Maybe you can help me get in.
01:11:15Parasite.
01:11:17Tourist.
01:11:45We have a good time.
01:11:52We have a good time.
01:11:54We have a good time.
01:11:59I'm having sex.
01:12:14Guaranteed.
01:12:18My better self I just won't need.
01:12:25I'll pack my bags with jumbo rubbers.
01:12:30I'll meet the boy.
01:12:35I'll drink the boy.
01:12:36I'll be right back.
01:12:37I'll be right back.
01:12:37You
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