00:00Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please?
00:18Attention on deck!
00:22What can I say?
00:24I'm currently a drill instructor.
00:28My command gave me time off to be here.
00:31Couldn't miss this.
00:33Could we get a round of applause for the beautiful couple?
00:36Please.
00:40So the first day of boot camp,
00:43I saw Rob Matro walking around with his chest puffed out like the Commandant.
00:48And I thought, look at this prick.
00:52But then I got to know him, and my first impression was correct.
00:58You know, the two of us have been through it.
01:04I've saved his life, and he saved mine.
01:09And as Marines, it's hard to find the balance between the lover and the warrior.
01:17Rob makes it look easy.
01:21And when you serve alongside someone long enough, you'd do anything for them.
01:27Even if you might regret it.
01:30You know...
01:31You are fine, you're fine.
01:33You're fine, you're fine.
01:35You're fine.
01:36You're fine, you're fine.
01:37You're fine.
01:38Jennifer...
01:39We're all welcome.
01:40Goodbye.
01:41You're welcome.
01:42Cool!
01:43We're welcome.
01:44You're welcome.
01:45Now we're meeting the line.
01:46We're moving the hands-on line.
01:47In the room you have made a very special position.
01:49We've got to remind you,
01:51We've got to remind you.
01:52I'm ready for you.
01:53Well, I'm ready to take a couple of proud.
01:55You're mean to me
01:57Here in my heart
02:01I believe
02:03Your love is all I'll ever need
02:10Holding you close through the night
02:16I need you
02:25Who knew she could sing
02:37Did you like my song?
02:45The song was nice
02:46Very speech
02:47Warriors and lovers, huh?
02:53So which one are you?
02:56See, you didn't listen
02:57Oh, I was listening
02:59I could be both
03:03They always make you choose
03:08You made your choice
03:14There was no choice
03:19Here you got all these medals
03:24Telling everyone what a brave
03:27Badass warrior you are
03:29But that doesn't tell me what I need to know
03:33Where's the one that tells me
03:37You know the first thing
03:39You know the first thing about love
03:40Go on, come dance
03:41I'll be there in a minute
03:58Come on, come dance
04:00You promise.
04:01Be there in a minute.
04:18Can't touch this.
04:20Look, man.
04:22Can't touch this.
04:23You better get a hype, boy, because you know you can't.
04:25You can't touch this.
04:27Ring the bell.
04:27School's back in.
04:29Break it down.
04:31Admit it, Cameron.
04:32He's delicious.
04:33Guest dreams do come true, even in boot camp.
04:36I feel nothing.
04:37I'm a warrior.
04:38My heart is a cold dead stone.
04:39Well, you can't lie to me, so you better wake up and smell the aqua velvet, because he's here.
04:44He's queer.
04:44We don't know that.
04:47Oh, like how we knew about Nash?
04:48No, this is different.
04:49This is my worst nightmare.
04:52Hey, listen to me.
04:54You've never had a real, true, honest-to-goodness, in-the-flesh crush.
04:59Your whole damn life.
05:01Is boot camp the best place to pop that cherry?
05:04Probably not.
05:05Okay?
05:06But you are gonna wave the white flag, surrender, and enjoy it.
05:11Camouflage.
05:18Cover.
05:20Concealment.
05:21During combat skills training, you will learn how to save your lives in combat.
05:25How to move stealthily in enemy terrain.
05:28How to conceal yourselves.
05:29And by the end of the week, how to defend yourselves in hand-to-hand combat.
05:34Warriors only have two choices.
05:36Kill or be killed.
05:37Maybe she's born with it.
05:39Maybe it's Maybelline.
05:41Paint those faces, ladies.
05:43Yo, I got an offer for you.
05:44I got a bag of Utz chips left over from Crypt.
05:46A dollar, but I only take quarters.
05:49Deal.
05:49Why's it gotta be quarters?
05:53I gotta call your sister, tell her how good she was last night.
05:56Bro, my sister would eat you for breakfast.
05:58I was like, how cautious, guys?
05:59I'm gonna do it myself.
06:00We're supposed to do it together.
06:01I got a problem.
06:02And I know the feeling.
06:03Close your eyes.
06:04Ever since Hicks's Jesus juice.
06:08His stomach's been getting worse every day.
06:10I don't know what to do.
06:13Hey, Hicks.
06:14What did you put in that juice, man?
06:17Honor, courage, and commitment, motherfucker.
06:20I guess you go to sickbay.
06:22My new bunkie, Jones.
06:24I'm pretty sure he's, uh, like me.
06:27I'm like 99.9% sure.
06:34God.
06:35I think he knows that I know.
06:38What do I do?
06:40Just ignore him, right?
06:41Pretend he doesn't exist?
06:42And how do I do that when he sleeps right on top of me?
06:45I know, I know.
06:46His filthy mind goes right there, too.
06:49You gotta help me.
06:52You gotta tell me to lock it up.
06:59We should go again.
07:05We should go again.
07:06Yeah.
07:06You're next.
07:17Huh?
07:20Marriage, dummy.
07:22You're next.
07:24Well, that can happen to an ugly fucker like you.
07:27Ha ha.
07:29About time.
07:31Remember, um, that major on Guam?
07:32What was his name?
07:35Wilkinson.
07:37So you were right.
07:38That faggot ass came sniffing around after he popped smoke looking for you?
07:42Yeah.
07:43It was just like you said, so I took care of it.
07:48Oh, yeah?
07:51What'd you do?
07:52I reported his ass.
07:55Why, just because he's an officer, he thinks he can get away with that shit?
07:57Yeah, so I dropped a dime.
08:00Glad you told me.
08:06Oh, boy.
08:07Brother-in-law.
08:21Oh, man.
08:22Hey, seriously, why you need quarters so bad?
08:27Yo, Corn Fat.
08:28Shaving cream, 50 cents.
08:29Low, low prices.
08:31I got shaving cream.
08:32Tiddy Mac, take that.
08:33Fuck out of here.
08:34That's eight quarters at least.
08:36Dico.
08:37Hey, yo, what about you, Haas?
08:39Give you a quarter to suck my dick.
08:41When Corn Fat does it for free?
08:42Okay.
08:42Okay.
08:52What you doing?
09:05Whoa!
09:06You're not supposed to be in here.
09:08Oh.
09:10He speaks.
09:11Been around almost a week.
09:12You've hardly said two words to me.
09:13I can't be in here.
09:14You ever check these drawers?
09:18Hurry, get out of there, man.
09:19How did he kill us both?
09:21Werther's?
09:22My grandma loves these.
09:24You think how it crochets, too?
09:26What?
09:27Why are you in here, shit-tard?
09:30Sir, this recruit was readying the squad bay trash for disposal.
09:33The scribe was busy, so this recruit took it upon himself to get the garbage.
09:40Out.
09:41Both of you.
09:51Today is land navigation training.
10:10You will traverse this course with a partner, only using a map and compass.
10:16Each set of coordinates will lead you to the location of an ammo can with a letter on it.
10:20Record the letters, report back to your DIs.
10:23Good to go?
10:24Sir, yes, sir!
10:26Pair off.
10:26Want a pair?
10:48It's you.
10:48Hi, Ray.
10:52Yeah, but...
10:54How?
10:59Wait, wait.
11:01Did I die?
11:03Am I dead?
11:05You did.
11:06It was tragic.
11:06So young.
11:09But I ended up in heaven.
11:11Pretty sure in heaven?
11:12Harlan, you don't crap yourself on the way in.
11:16Oh, did I...
11:18You did that?
11:21We gotta stop meeting like this.
11:25Who's Harlan?
11:27In your sleep, you kept saying, fuck you, Harlan.
11:31He's, um...
11:33My dad.
11:35You call your dad Harlan?
11:37I call him sir.
11:40So you're close.
11:42Military?
11:44Marine.
11:46Three tours in Vietnam.
11:47He was a...
11:49a tunnel rat.
11:51Damn.
11:54Bet he's all sunshine and rainbows.
11:56You know, in my heaven, you don't have to talk about the things that you don't want to talk about.
12:01What happened to you?
12:06I got a scrape that got infected, and now they have to cut my leg off.
12:09I'm kidding.
12:16They're giving me antibiotics.
12:20But even if they did cut it off, it's not stopping me.
12:23I'm gonna finish this shit.
12:24You want to stay here that bad?
12:25I want to be a marine that bad.
12:28Why?
12:30We got it pretty good here.
12:31Might as well defend it.
12:32And if I'm going to serve, I'm gonna serve with the best.
12:36I knew it.
12:38You are an angel.
12:39Please shut up.
12:44So what about you?
12:45Why are you here?
12:47I think I drank poison.
12:49I mean the Marines.
12:50They think I drank the poison.
12:58The next one should be about 20 yards due west.
13:02Let's play a game.
13:04Six more coordinates to find.
13:06Come on.
13:07Truth or dare.
13:09How often do you jerk it at boot camp?
13:11What?
13:11I don't.
13:14So never.
13:15Never?
13:16This whole time?
13:17No.
13:19No wonder you wound up so tight.
13:21No, I'm not.
13:23Oh, there it is.
13:26My turn.
13:28Truth.
13:32What?
13:33I don't know.
13:34What made you join the Marines?
13:35I was living with my ex.
13:40And it ended badly.
13:41So I said fuck it.
13:42Went to the mall.
13:43Got a jumbo sized pretzel.
13:45And signed up for your contract.
13:47Wow.
13:47That sounds, uh, kind of rash.
13:51Yeah.
13:52You should have seen my recruiter though.
13:54He was stunning.
13:58Let's find these coordinates.
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