- 1 week ago
Matrimoney - Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00What?
00:00:01Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:08Here, place your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:12Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience school.
00:00:23Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?!
00:00:29She's my sister!
00:00:30I don't care!
00:00:31That violates our agreement!
00:00:32How?!
00:00:33What the fuck?!
00:00:36What?!
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't worry.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite!
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:43I fucking hate you!
00:00:45I fucking hate you more!
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well...
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:00:59Wait.
00:01:00What are you doing?
00:01:01That is an original.
00:01:02I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:01:05Oh, fine!
00:01:06I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:12You're treating me like shit!
00:01:14That's from the Renaissance!
00:01:16You are history's worst nightmare!
00:01:18I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:19We signed a contract!
00:01:20For an arranged marriage!
00:01:21Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:25You are such a simpleton!
00:01:27Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:28Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:29I tried to get along with you.
00:01:30You brought this on to yourself.
00:01:31I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:01:32Right back at you!
00:01:33I fucking hate you!
00:01:34I fucking hate you more!
00:01:35I tried to get along with you. You brought this on to yourself. I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement right back at you
00:02:05so you were arrested again to be fair there is a fence around that reservoir it says here that you broke in using bolt cutters if I had known you invited me over here to lecture me I wouldn't a game
00:02:28oh
00:02:30come on Gucci come on
00:02:32good boy
00:02:34oh
00:02:40okay come on Gucci let's go
00:02:42hey Amelia
00:02:44oh you do
00:02:50come on Gucci let's go
00:02:52you know every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy it reflects on me it reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands the same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle
00:03:10I make my own money
00:03:12oh you see see
00:03:14underwear modeling lord
00:03:16I am the spokesperson for man thumb
00:03:18that means free underwear for life
00:03:20for life
00:03:22some parents would be proud
00:03:24yeah other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then
00:03:28you are next up to be CEO
00:03:30at Dino Verlino Cosmetics
00:03:32now how can I give you that job
00:03:34if you keep acting like a Kardashian
00:03:36hmm
00:03:38don't forget the meeting this afternoon
00:03:40alright and don't be late
00:03:44bye dad
00:03:54excuse me
00:03:56hello
00:04:02hello
00:04:04hello my Gucci
00:04:06why won't Michelangelo just grow up huh
00:04:08he needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl huh
00:04:12like you Amelia
00:04:14good one Romulus
00:04:16good one Romulus
00:04:34these are great
00:04:36hmm I still don't have what I'm looking for
00:04:38do you guys mind staying a little longer
00:04:40no problem
00:04:42cool let's take five and then I wanna see you in that leopard print
00:04:44hi
00:04:50hi
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo
00:04:53Chantal
00:04:54nice to meet you
00:04:56I
00:04:57couldn't notice how hot you are
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere
00:05:04hold up
00:05:07hey dad
00:05:08where the hell were you?
00:05:10dad I'm on a photo shoot
00:05:12you're supposed to be at the office
00:05:14Geppetto came here all the way from Milano
00:05:18I can meet him later
00:05:19now the suit lady's back on the plane again
00:05:21well you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot
00:05:23Michelangelo you are 31 years old
00:05:26you gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager
00:05:28you could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now
00:05:32you interned
00:05:34you went to business school
00:05:35you
00:05:36you have potential
00:05:37okay
00:05:38but you say you wanna be the CEO
00:05:40well you're gonna have to prove it
00:05:41cause so far
00:05:42I ain't seen the end tape from you
00:05:46bye dad
00:05:50hey
00:05:51you okay?
00:05:52you okay?
00:05:53yeah
00:05:54um
00:05:55but
00:05:56I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight
00:05:58so
00:05:59it's a
00:06:13really rare form
00:06:15of cancer
00:06:16luckily
00:06:18my doctors did catch it early
00:06:20oh my god
00:06:21there is an experimental treatment
00:06:24but it's really expensive
00:06:27and my insurance doesn't cover it
00:06:29don't worry about that
00:06:31I have money saved
00:06:33I'll find the rest
00:06:35we will figure this out okay?
00:06:37we're gonna get through this
00:06:38together
00:06:39thank you
00:06:40oh yeah
00:06:41oh yeah
00:06:55ciao Gucci
00:06:56did you have a good one?
00:07:01what's wrong?
00:07:05yeah
00:07:07I'm sorry
00:07:08this
00:07:09No, no, forget about it. I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have a savings for my doggy daycare, my dream, but...
00:07:21It's only enough for one treatment, and who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After our parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:33Amelia, I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:41Come back tonight, and make something nice.
00:07:58Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Come with me. I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:12Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:30I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44I'm really happy.
00:08:46Hey, I'll read it at you, huh?
00:08:48Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What, exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:12I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:30Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:48Now.
00:09:49See, dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking product!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:15Amelia!
00:10:19Whoa.
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink,
00:10:23and she flipped out!
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:10:26but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm going to be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:33All right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:38All right?
00:10:39Just have a seat.
00:10:40All right?
00:10:40And I promise,
00:10:41he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:43So, Amelia needs money
00:10:46to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:51Hmm.
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:52And you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy
00:10:55of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:03Now.
00:11:03I think we can, uh,
00:11:05make a deal
00:11:06whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:11Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married.
00:11:18That's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus.
00:11:23What are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone
00:11:28who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:29Well, at least I don't pose
00:11:31in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Oh, I'm so old.
00:11:34Look,
00:11:34you have to grow up
00:11:36before you can run out business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that
00:11:39is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know,
00:11:50my wife and I,
00:11:51we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah.
00:11:53We were like pizza
00:11:54and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:56She sure drove me crazy
00:11:58when we first met her.
00:12:01I know you're probably thinking
00:12:02I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two
00:12:05in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable
00:12:16for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help
00:12:18your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able
00:12:21to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree
00:12:24to this arrangement.
00:12:26What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:45Well, Angelo,
00:12:46it's not polite
00:12:47to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree
00:12:50to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose
00:12:54the business.
00:12:55and you're also going to lose
00:12:57your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now, let's just
00:13:06go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already
00:13:10drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son,
00:13:12we are going to need
00:13:13some champagne.
00:13:14You're in my market.
00:13:16Try and make yourself
00:13:17look decent now.
00:13:21You will be engaged
00:13:22for a period of 30 days,
00:13:24followed by a wedding
00:13:26planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's going to be a big one
00:13:29for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween
00:13:32Bowl's not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:34you must move in together
00:13:36immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion,
00:13:38you know.
00:13:38look,
00:13:39there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well,
00:13:43it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out
00:13:45to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be
00:13:47our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:13:54Salute to the new couple.
00:14:15Mmm.
00:14:24So,
00:14:25your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying
00:14:28at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:41So this is
00:14:43Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:54Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here,
00:15:13not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing
00:15:16with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:24Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up
00:15:27by the time I get back,
00:15:28I'm throwing it all
00:15:28in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh, by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might want
00:15:41to start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:58Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:01It's not like you.
00:16:03You're saying we're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Mom, things change
00:16:12when you find out
00:16:13your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered
00:16:17to help pay
00:16:18for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So, I'm okay
00:16:20with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:32Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Shh!
00:16:38So, like,
00:16:39it was, like,
00:16:40start a hundred
00:16:40canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:43his dad
00:16:44is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's
00:16:48been a whirlwind
00:16:49of a romance.
00:16:51He's so
00:16:52toxic.
00:16:55Speak of the devil?
00:16:57Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know,
00:17:00that's probably
00:17:01an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:11Doctor's ready.
00:17:11We'll talk about this later.
00:17:36Ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:37We're already wet.
00:17:55Where did that come from?
00:17:58Nice place.
00:18:02I love the artwork.
00:18:16I love the artwork.
00:18:22Thanks.
00:18:23Finally.
00:18:23Ooh, good taste.
00:18:24No, I'm good.
00:18:24You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:25More for me.
00:18:26You know,
00:18:27if you like it down here,
00:18:28you should see the bedroom.
00:18:29Who are you?
00:18:41Who are you?
00:18:43Who are you?
00:18:45Chantel, this is Amelia,
00:19:01my roommate.
00:19:03Whatever.
00:19:04Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:06I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:07This is my house?
00:19:08We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:09Scream at the top of our lungs.
00:19:11You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:13What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:14Who's jealous?
00:19:15Jealous?
00:19:16I'm not jealous.
00:19:17Sweet dreams.
00:19:19I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:20How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:21Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:26Oh, my God.
00:19:27Oh, my God.
00:19:28I'm not really gonna be kidding me.
00:19:29What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:30You're jealous.
00:19:31I'm not jealous.
00:19:32I'm not jealous.
00:19:33I'm not jealous.
00:19:34I'm not jealous.
00:19:36Sweet dreams.
00:19:37I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:44Oh!
00:19:45Oh, my god.
00:19:46See you later.
00:20:04And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:08Sorry.
00:20:09I had one too many to drink.
00:20:10It won't happen again.
00:20:11Better not.
00:20:16How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now.
00:20:27My head's killing me.
00:20:29We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No.
00:20:31What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:35I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine, I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:47Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious.
00:21:01Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:08Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:14Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:20It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I'm just really hungover.
00:21:27That could have gone better.
00:21:32Hey, baby.
00:21:36You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:39I know.
00:21:41I like it.
00:21:42Oh, that's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:47Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:51Oh, fine.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:58Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02Look, I promise.
00:22:03I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:06Yeah, you're right.
00:22:08Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Come on.
00:22:12Bye, Gucci.
00:22:16Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no.
00:22:21Royce.
00:22:21It's a bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:38Sorry.
00:22:39Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46I should make a reality show.
00:22:48A little dog owner is Beverly Hills.
00:22:50Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:57Yeah.
00:22:58I'd like that.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:07A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:15Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:18Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21It was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:37Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:43If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:52I kind of have to admit I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:56Yeah.
00:24:00I still do.
00:24:04He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:08Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:15I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:16Oh, yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:24I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:33Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:36Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:46I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:57No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13Should pick it up.
00:25:15Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:19Come on.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:29You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:34Very funny.
00:25:34You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:38Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:39That means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:48Come on, Dad.
00:25:50Come on, Dad.
00:25:50I'm going to be my extra hands.
00:25:51I'll be my extra hands.
00:25:55I'll be my extra hands.
00:25:56I'll be my extra hands.
00:25:58I'll be my extra hands.
00:25:59Oh, my goodness.
00:26:00Are you okay?
00:26:01Oh my goodness, are you okay?
00:26:05Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:24But yeah, that's the presentation by me, Michelangelo.
00:26:31What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:41It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:43Look at you, you got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now, well, now she earns some money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:19Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:39Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work, raise
00:27:49you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:55You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:28:04Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdea Mavis.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:24What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along all right, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah, just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight in the limo, and don't be late.
00:28:41Why, Dad?
00:28:42So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:02And?
00:29:04And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:07But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry, just an expression.
00:29:24How's it going in there?
00:29:26I'm coming out.
00:29:27Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress.
00:29:45ASAP.
00:29:49Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:29:57I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:27What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:32Thanks.
00:30:32Um, I...
00:30:35Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:43Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome, thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:54Wait, I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you.
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on.
00:31:01Amelia!
00:31:10All right, hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:13Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:16She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:21If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:37Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:56Hey, it's Michael Angelo, Dean Levino.
00:31:58You still track people?
00:31:59No.
00:31:59No.
00:31:59No.
00:31:59No.
00:32:00No.
00:32:00No.
00:32:00No.
00:32:01No.
00:32:01No.
00:32:02No.
00:32:02No.
00:32:03No.
00:32:03No.
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:19You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:25I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:27I kind of panicked.
00:32:28No worries.
00:32:28I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:32But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:37Wow.
00:32:37The IP treatment.
00:32:39You look like one.
00:32:41Thanks, David.
00:32:43Hey.
00:32:44Lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:49Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:52Break a leg.
00:32:53Lovely boy.
00:33:02Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:25Good.
00:33:25Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:28One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:45Jake, you guys were great.
00:33:49You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:54You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's all right.
00:34:06Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:34:08You want some of that a drink?
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:11I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:12I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:17So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college.
00:34:25But I feel like this one's finally going someplace.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job.
00:34:33Focus on music full time.
00:34:34You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:37I thought you liked it.
00:34:38I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:45I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:46A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:55I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:02I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:08Now I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:16The heck.
00:35:17I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo Baby underwear model.
00:35:45He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:50Back off, dude.
00:35:53Back off.
00:35:54Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:57So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:04I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:11This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking Silver Lake.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:20I can't believe you did that.
00:36:26After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:36:29Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:34I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:41Oh, me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:45Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:51I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:58Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05You're treating me like shit.
00:37:06That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You are history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:13For an arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton.
00:37:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:25Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this on to yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:34I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:38:06I like what you did.
00:38:07I don't know.
00:38:08I don't know.
00:38:10I hate you more.
00:38:11I'm not a good fan.
00:38:13I feel like I am a christian.
00:38:17I can't even get along with you.
00:38:23I don't know.
00:38:24I feel like anybody I don't know.
00:38:26I'm not a здоровary guy.
00:38:29I help me.
00:38:30How do you anytime?
00:38:32where am i who's spooning me
00:38:44is that jake how drunk was i
00:38:49michelangelo dog walker oh i forgot we did that last night
00:39:02must have been all those free beers
00:39:06we don't have to talk about this right yeah too many drinks
00:39:10just forget it ever happened if that's what you want
00:39:14definitely um i have to go to work
00:39:20i should get up too oh my head
00:39:24there's pedialine in the fridge
00:39:28thanks for coming today sis of course
00:39:31my doctor did say i needed lots of exercise
00:39:35well you look great
00:39:37thanks
00:39:39i don't feel great
00:39:41the treatment's taking a lot out of me
00:39:45but you on the other hand
00:39:47are glowing today
00:39:49what's going on
00:39:51so michelangelo and i had sex last night
00:39:55wait for the first time
00:39:59yeah
00:40:01we're taking it slow
00:40:03michelangelo
00:40:05the male gigolo is taking it slow
00:40:09maybe i did misdredge him
00:40:13and how was it
00:40:15well
00:40:17really bad right
00:40:19i knew it
00:40:21it was the best sex i ever had
00:40:23well
00:40:25that explains the glow
00:40:27hello
00:40:29i am happy for you sis
00:40:31physical chemistry is important
00:40:33that's actually what i wanted to talk to you about
00:40:35i don't get it
00:40:37he and i are nothing alike
00:40:39and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons
00:40:41i feel like
00:40:43like an arcade game and he just keeps getting the high score again and again and
00:40:45you get the picture
00:40:47you get the picture
00:40:49hey
00:40:51opposites attract
00:40:53i mean
00:40:55that's why you guys love each other so much
00:40:57cause you're so different
00:40:59something like that
00:41:09here comes
00:41:11right on the schedule
00:41:13dog walker's in love with me
00:41:15i'll have to let her down easy
00:41:17weird
00:41:19i haven't heard from the dog walker all morning
00:41:31what was that about?
00:41:33must be the hangover
00:41:35hey i'd like to hang out tonight
00:41:37maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:41:41hey i'd like to hang out tonight
00:41:43maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:41:45why can't i stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:41:47and why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:41:51why can't i stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:41:53and why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:41:57why can't i stop asking them
00:41:59why can i stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:01why can't i stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:03why can i stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:06Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:31Hey.
00:42:35We should talk about Leslie.
00:42:42I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:49And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:52Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand if you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18I mean...
00:43:18Frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:39Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why.
00:43:47That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:52Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:57I could even do reality TV.
00:43:58But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy, cosmic chemistry.
00:44:08You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it, too.
00:44:22Amelia, please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it, too.
00:44:27I felt it, too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me, too.
00:44:53So, I set the kitchen on fire.
00:45:16How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault.
00:45:21They should change the name.
00:45:24No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:28If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:49Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:54I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean, like, you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:07Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:28Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:37Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy.
00:46:39I know.
00:46:41I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:05Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:47:09I didn't mean a pride.
00:47:12I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:25I thought we had a connection.
00:47:27You're a cat person.
00:47:29It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:39Wow.
00:47:40That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:48Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:48:00But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park.
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:10I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get her, lover boy.
00:48:16So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:32It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:39That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:43Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point in working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:58You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:49:01If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:09I've got a big surprise.
00:49:16A surprise?
00:49:18Just wait and see.
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo.
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino.
00:49:29What's that?
00:49:37Special delivery from Masteryone's Italian Deli.
00:49:42The Gucci?
00:49:44It's your favorite prosciutto.
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:55I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:02I'm kidding.
00:50:04This is for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy, even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:36I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No.
00:50:42My mom taught me.
00:50:44Tell me about her.
00:50:46I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:58But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:01She grew up in a little village in Tuscany.
00:51:05She taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:07We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:11I still have all of her recipes here.
00:51:17Handwritten in Italian.
00:51:19That's really special.
00:51:22I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:30It's not corny.
00:51:31But I didn't know you were such a softy.
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:38What about your parents?
00:51:40My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:47Sorry.
00:51:48I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her, too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No, no, it's fine.
00:52:04I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:11Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:23You don't want espresso.
00:52:25That's not my fault.
00:52:33Hey.
00:52:34Hey.
00:52:36Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:52:40No, thank you.
00:52:41Me and Dad have a morning meeting.
00:52:42I'm kind of in a rush.
00:52:43Okay.
00:52:43Well, don't forget Gucci.
00:52:45How could I?
00:52:48Ready, bro?
00:52:50Well, let me fix your tie.
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:55You wear t-shirts to work.
00:52:57And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:53:00Touche.
00:53:01There you go.
00:53:03Okay, bye.
00:53:04Bye.
00:53:07Love you.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:11Sorry.
00:53:19It's reflex.
00:53:20I didn't mean to say that.
00:53:22Me neither.
00:53:23Too soon.
00:53:25Talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:29Okay.
00:53:30Could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:33And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:35Look who's here.
00:53:42Hey, my little guy.
00:53:45Hey, little Gucci.
00:53:47Look at this right here.
00:53:49Huh?
00:53:50Let's try it.
00:53:52Oh, yeah.
00:53:53Now, here's mine.
00:53:55Right?
00:53:56Just like that.
00:53:57Huh?
00:53:58Yeah.
00:53:58Even got one for Big Brother.
00:54:00Right there.
00:54:02Come to Papa.
00:54:03Yes, my boy.
00:54:06All right.
00:54:07All right.
00:54:07So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:54:10This is two weeks off.
00:54:12Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:13They're waiting for an answer.
00:54:14And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:54:17He says the band is free.
00:54:20You like Coldplay, right?
00:54:21Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:25Oh.
00:54:26Well, all right.
00:54:27Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:54:29How about that?
00:54:30Not too big.
00:54:30Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:54:33Dad, let's just pump the brakes.
00:54:35We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:54:37What?
00:54:37Something wrong with me?
00:54:39No.
00:54:41Everything is great.
00:54:42It's better than great, honestly.
00:54:45But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:54:48I mean, that's our thing.
00:54:50It's not Amelia's thing.
00:54:52I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:54:55Wow.
00:54:56I never thought of that.
00:54:58You know, you have a very good point there.
00:55:02I'm very impressed.
00:55:04You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:55:08I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:55:12Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:55:15Love?
00:55:17Yeah.
00:55:17Well, I don't know.
00:55:21He's cute.
00:55:22All right, all right.
00:55:24Change of deal.
00:55:25Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:55:27And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding with Coldplay.
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:35No Coldplay.
00:55:36So, it's about my cancer treatment.
00:55:47It's not working.
00:55:49I know it.
00:55:50I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:55:53And I'm cured.
00:55:55What?
00:55:56You're cured?
00:55:58Oh, congratulations.
00:56:01I wasn't expecting it.
00:56:04I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:56:07It only took two sessions?
00:56:10I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:56:13Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:56:16What's wrong, sis?
00:56:17We should be celebrating.
00:56:20I brought Prosecco.
00:56:21No.
00:56:22Yeah.
00:56:23No, I'm good.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:26Amelia, I'm your sister.
00:56:28You can tell me anything.
00:56:29Is it Michelangelo?
00:56:33Is everything okay?
00:56:34If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:56:43It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:56:47It's me.
00:56:50I have to tell you something.
00:56:55I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage.
00:57:01What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:57:06And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:57:09Actually, he's not that bad.
00:57:13I kind of like him.
00:57:16Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:57:18We need to get you out of there.
00:57:21Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:57:26But what about the tabloid stories?
00:57:30You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:57:33They banned him for life.
00:57:35You'll never go to Epcot.
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories.
00:57:40Or at least not to me.
00:57:43He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:57:46Amelia, if you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:57:53What if you meet him?
00:57:55Yeah.
00:57:57Meet him.
00:57:58Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:57:59Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:58:01Don't count on it.
00:58:02Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:58:07Fine.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:09Only one.
00:58:10Yes.
00:58:13You won't regret it.
00:58:14I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:58:18You better bring the whole bottle.
00:58:20Thank you for making dinner.
00:58:26Of course.
00:58:26I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:58:28We need to celebrate.
00:58:32Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:37You mean besides me?
00:58:39I'm serious.
00:58:40It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:58:43Have a glass of wine.
00:58:44Tonight's going to be great.
00:58:56It's enormous.
00:59:00Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:05It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:59:09Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:59:11Hmm.
00:59:13So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:59:21How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:25$96 Dom Perignon?
00:59:26Amelia, you said that's the year that you were born.
00:59:29Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:59:32It's worth more than my car.
00:59:34Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:38$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:59:40It's delicious.
00:59:42This was made in France.
00:59:44Sorry, can't touch that stuff.
00:59:47So, who wants a drink?
00:59:49You hardly touch your food.
01:00:11It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:16Mine tastes great.
01:00:21So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:28You don't mind, do you?
01:00:30Fire away.
01:00:30So, I know you two have been having your fun, but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:43I don't think it's going to.
01:00:44I don't think it's going to.
01:00:47That's cute and all, but what about her career? Are you gonna support her? Or kids, what's your stance on that? Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Betsy.
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it. We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:08See, Michelangelo, that's my point. You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
01:01:14We know now.
01:01:16Easy Betsy.
01:01:18I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon. And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:25And what makes you such an expert? I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:29Michelangelo.
01:01:30You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now. It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her. She gets it from you.
01:01:36Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:39You started it.
01:01:47Why don't we all just calm down? Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:52No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:56That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:57She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:01:59You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:01And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:05You know what? You can't talk to Betsy like that. That's my sister.
01:02:08She just survived cancer.
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned. I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other, but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:28You told her?
01:02:29She's my sister.
01:02:31I don't care. That violates our agreement.
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you? A contractual agreement? Some kind of obligation?
01:02:37That's not what I meant. It came out wrong, Amelia. I love you.
01:02:42You love me? Don't listen to him. He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:46Shut the fuck up!
01:02:48You know what? Maybe she was right. I shouldn't have signed that contract. It's over.
01:02:59We need to get out of here. I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:03:07Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing. You do so much better than him.
01:03:20Yeah. But he isn't a monster. I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road. Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn. Lay low for a bit.
01:03:32Mexico?
01:03:33Or Canada. Whatever. It's that or stay here and get sued by the Dino Levinos. Or worse.
01:03:40I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us. I mean, I only told you about the contract. It's not like I told the media.
01:03:49You don't know that. We're liabilities. Lose ends. You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:03:56Get rid of that thing. They could be tracking us right now.
01:04:04Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the Echoplex the other night.
01:04:10See? He could have a sniper on us.
01:04:17It's Romulus. Hey, Romulus.
01:04:20What? What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:26You came.
01:04:39Against my better judgment. I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:44I've just been busy, but it's over with now. You should punish me for straying.
01:04:52You make me sick.
01:04:56I make me sick.
01:05:05Nice underwear.
01:05:09It's a great craftsmanship.
01:05:11Okay. Let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say? Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:25I'm sorry, Chantelle. I thought I wanted this. But I don't. I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:37Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:42It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:48Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:52I am fucking devastated.
01:05:54And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:05:57Dad just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:01Amelia?
01:06:03Hi, Dad.
01:06:04Gucci's gone?
01:06:07I'll be right there.
01:06:13What?
01:06:15I...
01:06:17Romulus.
01:06:19What? Hold on.
01:06:21Oh.
01:06:23What?
01:06:25Well, I...
01:06:28Romulus.
01:06:30What? Hold on.
01:06:31Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah.
01:06:50Right?
01:06:52Good, thanks. Good. Gucci.
01:06:54This better not be a trap. Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey! Where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh? I thought you were both together. Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:09Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:13I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, dude.
01:07:22Here, ladies. Take a piece of this prosciutto.
01:07:24Yeah, that's it.
01:07:25Yeah, that's it.
01:07:29Give me the urc.
01:07:41Gucci!
01:07:42It's hopeless.
01:07:43We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad. He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:57Keep looking. He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:00See? They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:03I do have to admit, though, I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:16Gucci!
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:23My boy's back!
01:08:33Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:38I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay. Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:05Please?
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:11Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:16Okay.
01:09:25Amelia, I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:09:38I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:49And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:52You're not one.
01:09:53I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:57Most of them are good.
01:09:59I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:03I'm not.
01:10:05You're not? What do you mean?
01:10:08Amelia, this might sound crazy, but I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:18And I don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together.
01:10:22I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:26Dad.
01:10:28What is it, son?
01:10:30I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:32Why, son?
01:10:34Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:35And not because of some legal obligation, but because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contracts null and void.
01:10:55Amelia, what will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:25You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:35And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:38Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:44All right, all right, you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:51We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:12:05Especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:09It was worth a try.
01:12:21And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia...
01:12:45Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're...
01:12:48perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time.
01:12:55And not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:02I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:12And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:30Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:34I love you so much.
01:13:44I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:55Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:57And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:14With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:31Thanks.
01:14:33I'm Betsy.
01:14:35Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake.
01:14:38Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy.
01:14:41You know, given my sister.
01:14:42But I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:45Me too.
01:14:47Woo!
01:14:49Strong faith, close family.
01:14:54Choosing the wounds to dread.
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