Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning (1987) Rated PG

Barefoot & Independent

Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning (1987) isn’t a Friday movie at all, but it has Amber Lynn, so how could we not screen it in the Halloween lineup? This thing borrows its name from the slasher legend and goes in its own weird direction. Our Squeaky Clean Adult Films cut removes the no-no chaos but keeps the... camp? It’s just another reason October at Barefoot & Independent is the strangest season on YouTube.  Directed by: Fred J. Lincoln Written by: Mark Weiss Produced by: Patti Rhodes-Lincoln (for) Rasputin Productions Distributed by: Vidco (United States, 1987) (VHS) Distributed by: Caballero Home Video (United States, 2006) (DVD)  Starring: Amber Lynn, Paul Thomas, Nina Hartley & Joey Silvera.  RE-CUT & performed by jason for our series 'Squeaky Clean Adult Films' Music by Fiddleback   this copy and paste is wack: Cash App Donations 🥰 ► https://cash.app/$BareJunk PayPal Donations 🥰 ► https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/BareJunk   Twitter► https://twitter.com/barejunk Instagram► https://www.instagram.com/barefootandindependent eBay► https://www.ebay.com/usr/barejunk RedBubble►https://www.redbubble.com/people/BareJunk  Thanks for watching!   #BareJunk #VHS #31daysofhalloween

Transcript

00:00Have you ever wanted to see a Friday the 13th that isn't a Friday the 13th?

00:04Well then boy do I have a movie for you.

00:06Episode 287, 1987's Friday the 13th, A Nude Beginning.

00:19My brother and a couple buddies I went to film school with are gonna love this episode

00:24because they think the best episodes are the ones that I don't like.

00:29And I hate this movie.

00:31My name is Jason from Barefoot.

00:33This is Squeaky Clean Adult Films.

00:35And this is a Friday B-side.

00:38It's a B-side mostly because the old VHS tape isn't that good.

00:42And the movie is not good.

00:44It has a lot of good things in it.

00:47But boy do I hate it so much.

00:50I feel like a whole bunch of talented artists got together and made something because they had to.

00:57It's almost like they didn't want to make it.

00:59Numerous times you hear the cameraman on the tripod.

01:05But made by a bunch of great filmmakers and it has a lot of cool things to say in it.

01:11Who knows?

01:12Fred Lincoln made this.

01:13I know that Fred Lincoln can make a great picture.

01:16Patty Rhodes, before becoming Patty Rhodes Lincoln, she produced this.

01:21She edited this.

01:22And she's in it.

01:24We finally get...

01:25She has a...

01:26I can't remember.

01:27I think it's like five or six.

01:28Maybe even a little less.

01:29Times where she's had a non-performing cameo.

01:32And this is one of them.

01:34It's the first film we've done that she's acted in.

01:35Mark Weiss wrote this.

01:37And we know that he can make a good movie and an entertaining movie.

01:41He wrote Blue Ice.

01:43He wrote Black Taboo 2.

01:44This is his third time on the show.

01:46And if you didn't believe me in the beginning, this has nothing to do with Friday the 13th.

01:51Paul Thomas and Amberlynn are basically doing like a play.

01:55And I enjoyed Amberlynn, P.T. doing their thing.

02:00Those parts are very enjoyable.

02:01Well, first of all, Paul Thomas is Jason because he has a hockey mask.

02:05The hockey mask has two quick cameos.

02:08And his name is Jason.

02:10That's the only thing that has to do with Friday.

02:13First, I thought Amber was Mrs. Voorhees.

02:16But they're not.

02:17They're brother and sister.

02:18You find out near the end.

02:19And they are two demons.

02:21They're going to Earth to tempt people.

02:24And that's what you're fixing to watch.

02:26Corruption.

02:27They're trying to corrupt people.

02:28This was 88 minutes long.

02:30What's this?

02:3126.

02:32And we have Broad and Bastard on the language tip.

02:36You also will see some pretty sexy outfits.

02:39So watch it if you want to.

02:41And I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:43Probably.

02:43Probably not.

02:44I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:55I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:56I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:57I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:58I'll see you in 26 minutes.

02:59I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:00I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:01I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:02I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:03I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:04I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:05I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:06I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:07I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:08I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:09I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:10I'll see you in 26 minutes.

03:11I'll see you in 26 minutes.

04:12Those stupid pictures, Jason.

04:15Can't you find a better way of getting things done than cutting up those stupid pictures?

04:20They're not stupid.

04:22They are stupid, Jason.

04:24They are childish and immature.

04:27Why not?

04:28Are so!

04:29Why not?

04:29I will not get caught up in this.

04:33You're just jealous.

04:36Of what, Jason?

04:37The fact that you can cut up little pieces of paper?

04:40No, the fact that I can do something with a simple, yet elegant method.

04:49My dear Jason, I never do anything in a simple manner.

04:59I do things with style.

05:02I do things with pizzazz.

05:03And there is no pizzazz in cutting up little pieces of paper.

05:11Just jealous, jealous, you're jealous.

05:15It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

05:21Do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a-do-a.

05:23Jealous!

05:25Eat us!

05:25I am not now, nor will I ever be, nor have I ever been jealous of you and your things.

05:39There is nothing you can do to impress me.

05:46No.

05:47No.

05:50Watch this.

05:55But remember, we promised.

06:03We have to wait.

06:04At least until after we're married.

06:06But we're getting married tomorrow.

06:08Surely you can wait one more day.

06:14Yes, I can wait.

06:17No, I can't.

06:20No.

06:21It's wrong.

06:22We can't.

06:23We have to wait.

06:25Yes, I can wait.

06:30We've waited this long already.

06:31Okay.

06:34I can't wait.

06:35Come around!

06:36What?

06:37Turn around quickly.

06:38Why?

06:39Because it's bad luck to see the bride on the day of the wedding.

06:43That's tomorrow.

06:45Fred, turn around.

06:47Why?

06:47Because it's midnight, and tomorrow is now today, and you can't see me.

06:56It's already unlucky.

06:57It's Friday the 13th.

06:59There.

06:59You see?

07:01It'll be double unlucky if you look.

07:03I'm going to blow you a kiss.

07:05Catch it?

07:06Don't be late for the wedding.

07:21I won't.

07:25Fred, I told you no.

07:26No.

07:26It's not Fred.

07:37Come in.

07:40Jason, you remember me?

07:42Yeah.

07:43Your best man.

07:48The bridal garter.

07:49Tradition has it that the best man puts the bridal garter on the bride the night before the wedding.

07:59You ever heard of that tradition?

08:01Big deal.

08:02You break up her marriage.

08:04What's the challenge?

08:07The challenge isn't getting the job done, which I did.

08:13It's not getting the job done, Jason.

08:16It's how you do it.

08:17I did it.

08:23That's what counts.

08:25I did it.

08:26I wouldn't waste my time on something like that.

08:37And how will you waste your time?

08:45Exquisitely, Jason.

08:47Beautifully.

08:49Beautifully.

08:52Exquisitely.

08:56I come to you on behalf of the brave and valiant rebels of my oppressed country.

09:03We seek help in fighting the fascist dictators who enslave our people.

09:09On behalf of the people of this great nation, I sympathize with the plight of your country.

09:19But there's very little that we can do to help you out.

09:24I wish to discuss these matters in private.

09:27My secretary has full security clearance.

09:29Coffee?

09:30Coffee?

09:30It's from your country.

09:37I understand that you're a second leading expert.

09:43I do not drink coffee.

09:45It's the drink of the fascist oppressors.

09:47I like mine without cream.

09:51Now, let's get down to some brass tacks, shall we?

09:56What are we talking about here?

09:57You have arms, guns.

09:59My country needs them.

10:01For your invaluable assistance, the people of my country would be forever indebted.

10:06It's all well and good, but you're asking me to break the principles and laws of my country.

10:11I didn't say I wouldn't offer anything in return.

10:15Like what?

10:16The new government, which will be established by the valiant rebel forces,

10:20will be very cooperative to any new ideas for reformation,

10:25which your country might wish to bestow upon us.

10:28In other words, if we help you out, you may or may not decide to become an ally.

10:34We would most certainly become an ally.

10:36A great ally.

10:38We'd like to install a most favorable trade with your nation.

10:43The coffee, which you guzzle with such relish, might become more reasonable in price.

10:50And for that, my country pays a hefty price in foreign aid

10:53to restore the plantations that may have been burned down in any revolution.

11:01Are we dealing in good faith here?

11:03Are we merely flapping our gums in the wind?

11:05My gums do not flap.

11:07There are many political prisoners, many of which come from your nation.

11:11They would all be set free.

11:15I'm still not sure that the voters would approve of such a deal between us.

11:19I have been authorized to give you anything in trace of those guns.

11:23I'm sure we can come to some common ground.

11:31It was gorgeous.

11:39A thing of beauty.

11:42Not a word.

11:44Not a single word.

11:46It's hard to believe out of that big mouth.

11:49Sticks and stones, baby.

11:51Admit it.

11:52When it comes to corruption, a woman has got it all.

11:56Well, you picked a politician.

12:01He didn't have a soul to begin with.

12:04And from where I was sitting, I wasn't sure that he wasn't the one doing the corrupting.

12:08At least when I...

12:09When I choose my people, I pray upon their dark innermost side.

12:15Okay.

12:17Pick a target.

12:19Name it.

12:20I'll show you corruption.

12:29Very funny, Jason.

12:32Very funny.

12:34No, I was actually talking about one of those holier-than-thou evangelical preachers.

12:43Piece of cake.

12:44Name him.

12:46Jimmy Braggart.

12:48Done.

12:50Give me a moment to change my clothes and call me a gargoyle.

12:54You're a gargoyle.

12:55Very funny.

12:56Ha ha ha.

12:59As a second thought, you won't need a gargoyle.

13:04You're a gargoyle.

13:05Nothing.

13:07Nothing.

13:34oh you are a day early i beg your pardon today's the 12th sister and mother teresa wasn't supposed

13:49to come until the 13th you're supposed to be a japanese school girl oh i'm sorry shall i change

13:55no that's quite all right i'll phone head later and change the work plan

14:01sister do you know why you're here well i did when i got here but now i'm not so sure you're here to

14:12help me carry out the work of the lord have you spoken to the lord today no i can't say i did

14:19his line was busy well that's because he was talking to me they told me he was having lunch

14:26with the kid sister never ever use the name of the lord blasphemous lee and my church again

14:31yes

14:35the lord has given me a mission he wants me to wipe out all moral intrepidude in this world

14:45and to bring his people back into the paths of righteousness

14:47what about disease what about hunger what about starvation

14:57sister that is all taken care of by the jimmy braggart foundation

15:03have you seen our new high-rise downtown you mean the 37-story building with the 20-foot bronze doors

15:11yes and hunger and starvation is taken care of on the 10th floor right next to the jimmy braggart land

15:18foundation and now back to my mission the lord says that i must see what these terrible sins of the

15:27flesh are like and that i must know what evil they do to one's soul and that i must experience

15:35the spiritual decay that they cause in order that i may lead his people away from them

15:40chalk one up for me what for from where i was sitting it looked like he was doing the corrupting

15:47not you you're just jealous jealous of what where was the style where was the class

15:57are you kidding i was an animal yes you were a sheep being eaten by the wolf

16:08but at least you did get your soul saved for everlasting salvation

16:14all right don't rub it in

16:17okay i'll admit it wasn't one of my better things but at least i got the job done

16:30but who knows you got the job done if you really want to do this with a certain amount of

16:38class do it on national television so everyone can see

16:43and do you think i can't well you're the one who wanted to prove she was a better corruptor

16:52all right buddy i'll show you corruption with a capital k

16:57call me a gargoyle one false move mister and you're fixed

17:03one

17:04gargoyle

17:08yes so are you married yes you have any kids yes sister you are excused thank you very much

17:29we've got problems the one-legged man you're supposed to heal yes he won't be showing

17:39why his leg grew back

17:44well find a replacement

17:47a child with palsy a blind beggar but find someone i'm working on it we're on in three minutes

17:55johnny please

18:09i don't suppose you have any diseases do you hardly

18:13how about you i i am blind i have breast cancer i come from russia to be healed by the reverend braggart

18:20excellent a blind communist with cancer duh you're on in two minutes

18:34hello

18:35jimmy braggart's 12 biggest new church on the corner in hicksville north catalana it's the jimmy

18:41braggart hour of god friends let's talk about something we are all familiar with sin

18:49tonight we have for you a special miracle the healing power of jimmy braggart

18:56is he handsome he sounds very handsome

19:00he's all right what would you say lawanda i don't know i'm a lesbian nymphomaniac

19:07i am here for a miracle they not let me out of my country suddenly from nowhere a trouble

19:14passed the course and here i am oh surely it's god's work if you say so honey listen i'm gonna go out

19:22and watch the show lawanda will take you up when you're ready okay god bless you fat chance

19:30friends what we have for you tonight is a true miracle of the lord thank you maizey my name's

19:39lawanda yes this girl she comes to us from the soviet union her body is riddled with cancer and she is

19:50blind and the godless comic bastards in her country deny her treatment but the lord does not through the

20:01graces of the lord and through my hands i shall heal her tonight heal her tonight is this right child

20:10oh are you blind are you blind how many fingers uh i don't know yes yes yes through the lord through my

20:25hand we all shall pray that this child and her cancer shall go away and decide and decide and decide

20:37lord inside the blind shall see yes the blind shall see the stars and stripes and freedom of the united

20:51states of america of america child take your glasses off sister i can see hallelujah hallelujah yes

21:06yes yes you all see this tonight yes that was fine that was really fine you know i haven't scored one

21:19like that since the convention in 71 that was really good it was fun to watch and i'll admit it did have a certain

21:32panache to it but i don't see what you had to do with any of it are you kidding i worked my ass off on

21:39that one i had to bring in a blind girl from russia i had to go out and find a black lesbian nymphomaniac

21:49i had to break some homosexual makeup artist legs and have you any idea how hard it is to grow a one-legged

21:56man's leg back no i don't think even you big brother can top that one and then no maybe not but i get to give

22:09it a shot

22:13i get to pick the target right all right all right who's the target

22:21andrea durkin

22:30man-hating feminists playing hardball now are we no no i will not let your puns get to me

22:36now go along and do your evil deeds and leave me to enjoy the absence of your presence oh you

22:46couldn't get along without me for a second i could certainly try and what if i didn't come back you'll

22:53come back what if i just stay down there and walk the planet corrupting souls you'll come back you know you

23:03hate to walk

23:08this is true

23:16i'll have the regular please okay

23:25looks like we have a man here tonight ladies

23:28what are you doing here tonight man

23:35i came to pick up rods

23:37typical male behavior women are nothing more than pieces of meat to be

23:43hit out of the freezer section of the supermarket why don't you come over here and hit on me man

23:51because you're too ugly

23:54that is so typical looking for surface representation let me tell you something man

23:59there's nothing wrong with you that a truckload of makeup wouldn't fix you men are slime

24:04would you like to come over here and say that oh typical macho attitude

24:12you men are lying you're all dirty disgusting perverted i agree with you and i would like to apologize

24:24what i agree and on behalf of all men everywhere i would sincerely like to apologize

24:33you can't apologize for all men why not if all men are alike and i apologize and we all must apologize

24:40no no no you're not going to get off this easy you are going to sit there and tell me that you look

24:45at women superficially and what's wrong with that what's wrong with that there's a lot more to

24:51a woman than just her surface appearance there's soul feelings i mean just because a woman isn't

24:57beautiful doesn't mean she's a not a wonderful person inside i agree but what's wrong with looking

25:03at the exterior because you can't form an opinion of someone just by their face we don't all look like

25:09christy brinkley true but if a woman is willing to put some time and effort into her appearance she can

25:17improve it and if a man sees that she's trying he'll usually assume that she's the type of person

25:24who's worth getting to know beneath the exterior besides you look like that you could be very

25:32pretty if you tried but i don't want to try it isn't me well i'll bet there's a there's a very pretty

25:43girl underneath all this just dying to get out but you won't matter

25:50if you really believe that you can be pretty

25:56you will be sound like peter pan well i am sort of just believe and anything can be

26:13this can't be me why not

26:22how could he do that how could he fall for that cow he is so gullible sometimes

26:31jesus he's always getting himself into trouble and i'm always having to bail him out

26:35how do these damn things work anyway

26:42his hockey mask

26:44left his heart

26:49well i'll just have to go and get him

26:53jason i'm coming to get you

26:56i will not let that cow have you i'll call myself a gargoyle and i'll be there

27:03before you can call me a gargoyle

27:17well hello beautiful what's doing waiting for someone

27:26yeah who's the lucky girl his name is jason

27:31now why would a beautiful woman like this be wasting her time with some smelly hairy disgusting man

27:38because he wants to waste time on me i guess

27:43on the sixth day god created man in his own image and on the 13th day the devil created woman in her

28:00he has a large man in her ear for his life and on the 13th day he decided to find him out

28:07then he's going to pay his money to be a sign with you

28:08i'm going to stay in the town

28:10well

28:12well

28:15well

28:17well

28:21now

28:26well

28:26So what did you think of that?

28:53Paul Thomas and Amberlynn chopping it up was pretty good, right?

28:57And some of the segments were pretty okay.

28:59And they had a lot to say, sociopolitical issues.

29:03This had a lot of anti-adult film industry commentary to say.

29:08Government officials, evangelical people, radical feminists.

29:13Part one, I don't know what that was.

29:14Maybe The Housewife is against adult films.

29:17But it did have the feature-length version, did have an undercurrent of the adult film attacking the anti-adult film world.

29:27And overall, that's a great concept.

29:29With a bullshit-ass execution.

29:31Paul Thomas is 31st time on the show.

29:34Amberlynn's 8th time on the show.

29:35And we do have another Amberlynn.

29:37She's almost in the 10-movie club.

29:39We do have another Amberlynn coming up, directed by Fred Lincoln.

29:44And it's wonderful.

29:46Alina Ferrari was the first tempted housewife in Vignette 1.

29:51Her second time on the show because she was one of the models in Loose Lifestyles.

29:56She was also in Space Fixing.

29:58John Leslie's 22nd time on the show.

30:01He played the president.

30:03And Nikki Knight was the, like, Castro lady.

30:07Her fifth time on the show, we just saw her in Hitler Sucks.

30:10Kind of.

30:11Saw the side of her face for a couple seconds.

30:13I just watched her.

30:14I watched our version of The Final Taboo the other day.

30:17And she's in that.

30:17She's also in The Huntress.

30:19Then we move on to Joey Silvera.

30:2139th time on the show.

30:22Number one.

30:23There was a tie for 38.

30:24But now he's at 39 playing Jimmy Braggart.

30:28Boy, do I remember Jimmy Swaggart from, like, childhood.

30:31He just passed away a couple months ago.

30:33I got sidetracked researching Jimmy Swaggart.

30:35That whole segment's pretty funny.

30:37Very edgy with, uh, I'm a black lesbian nymphomaniac.

30:41Joey Silvera.

30:42I had to cut out.

30:44I almost was going to leave him and beep him.

30:46But it made it seem worse.

30:49He was saying words you can't say to black people.

30:53And he was very unfavorable to everyone.

30:57Did a very good job of playing a corrupt televangelist.

31:00Nina Hartley was next.

31:0217th time on the show.

31:04Love Nina Hartley.

31:05Even beautiful when she's trying to dress down to play a man-hating feminist.

31:11Oh, I loved Amberlynn in part two with the president.

31:15Her, speaking of dressing down, playing the secretary, that was like an S-tier look and performance.

31:23Amberlynn's a great actress.

31:24Too many times, I don't know about too many times, now I'm being really judgy.

31:28She has to do the, because she's like the ultimate adult film star.

31:33Like, if you looked up adult film star, it would be Amberlynn.

31:37And so I like it when she goes the other way, looking and performing.

31:41But Nina does a great job.

31:43There's actually a bunch of good dialogue.

31:46And you got to see most of it.

31:47From the male versus female ideology in that bar.

31:50And in that bar, Patti Rhodes Lincoln.

31:53Making her first appearance acting.

31:56We did lose Billy Dee, playing a straight up pimp.

32:00Like, pimp, pimp.

32:01Like, long feather in his hat pimp.

32:03And one of the Johns was Fred Lincoln.

32:06You guys didn't get to see either one of those.

32:07And that's about it.

32:08We have a bunch of crap we say.

32:10Who cares about that?

32:12We have donations.

32:13Don't donate to this shit.

32:15Oh, we have a new rule.

32:17Ha!

32:17Who the hell would be watching at the end of a lemon?

32:20I don't even care.

32:21I don't even care.

32:22See you later.

32:24Thanks for watching.

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