Aubrey O'Day Opens Up About Fear Of "Physical Danger" After Speaking Out Against Diddy

New York Post

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00:00I am so obsessed with this show. I think it was so, so interesting to watch each person's journey

00:05and particularly yours. You know, when it was pitched to you, was it an immediate yes? Or did

00:10you have to think about it for a while? No, I definitely didn't think about it a while,

00:14you know, Dr. Terry, and I didn't know Michelle was going to be there. But

00:19just the entire experience of being able to re approach and rethink beauty standards is

00:27something that I'm very much into. There was a lot of heavy stuff going on this season,

00:31but you were still able to bring like lighthearted comedic tones to scenes, especially when you were,

00:37you know, in your scenes with Dr. Dubrow. What was it like to work with him?

00:43He's so, he's literally like the funny, I could tell like the, that someone like me could make

00:49him feel uncomfortable. So I was like, you know what, let me take him out of his comfort zone of

00:53like, I know exactly how to perform miracles on you and just pull him out and be a little more

00:58lighthearted with him. Because when he laughs, it's just like he can light up a room.

01:03They had such a great trio kind of helping you guys work through everything.

01:08It was a very healthy, safe environment. And on a show that's dealing with topics that are as big

01:15as beauty standards. And a lot of times there's trauma behind a lot of that sometimes very serious

01:22trauma. You really have to be in safe environments. And I think that this show didn't did the best

01:28job I've ever seen at creating a safe environment for the cast. And I've been on a lot of reality

01:34TV shows and I haven't seen safety in a long time. So it was refreshing.

01:40As you were filming the show, Diddy was arrested.

01:42He got arrested. I can't believe it.

01:45The first man that ever thought I was a star in my life gave me my career, made me a platinum

01:52selling artist. I didn't end up getting to be the human I probably was very capable of being

01:59because he told the world something and everybody ran with it.

02:02And shortly before the show premiered, his trial was happening. Would you say that what you learned

02:07in the retreat helped you in any way as the trial dominated the news cycle earlier this summer?

02:12And if so, how?

02:14Well, I ended up having to cover it for iHeartRadio. So I was in New York live covering the trial,

02:20which was a whole different experience than the other victims that I know, other people that I

02:25know that were involved in his enterprise that tried to tune it out or were able to tune it out.

02:33I didn't get relief from it for many months. The outcome was disappointing, to say the least.

02:42In the show, you talk about how abuse led you and some of your other co-stars as well

02:47to cosmetic procedures. What does it feel like to finally take that power back?

02:52One thing I want to be clear about it, I'm not sure if the show described that or this or not,

02:57but you go in and get whatever you get done. You choose to do that. It's the industry and the

03:05standards, powerful men, the way that women understand. We are mirrored back by the people

03:13in society that look at us most. That happens to be men. Our understanding of our value comes through

03:19a man's eyes, usually at a young age. And we're very socialized in our country, specifically as women

03:26in many different areas. I mean, we don't even have full rights and equality in that legally.

03:34So there are a lot of things as women that we go through. The industry just puts it all on steroids

03:38times a few other hard drugs, ketamine and whatever else. It's just a really hard dose of like

03:47having to move quick and having to move at the snap of powerful men or from a man's perspective

03:56of what a woman should be. And that's why you saw a lot of us in that show discussing those types of

04:01traumas that led each of us to then go in and get procedures. Nobody forced us into doctor rooms.

04:08There are men that do that. However, did he know, according to Cassie's testimony being one of them,

04:14you know, I don't have a family. Um, my dogs can't talk or they probably would have been warning me

04:20earlier on. But, um, you know, I was just, I, I see myself back through the eyes of the doctor then

04:28who's telling me, Oh, more of this would be look so great. And you just don't realize how much you're

04:32overdoing it until you're able to be in the hands of proper professionals.

04:37I do want to talk about your conversation with Kathy, you know, it seemed like you kind of went

04:41into that conversation thinking you two could almost bond over this shared experience of working

04:46under these powerful men who've been accused of abuse. You quickly became discouraged when she

04:50started defending Hugh Hefner. My heart is getting discouraged talking to Kathy because she's making

04:58me feel like I'm going to end up just like her at her age, normalizing abusers and saying things like

05:06women of your generation are kind of asking for it. God. What's going through your mind at that

05:15moment? Well, I was specifically triggered that day because, um, you know, there's a group of

05:22journalists and people that, uh, all had kind of a tight relationship. Once Homeland Security started

05:29reaching out and speaking to different people, all kinds of different people, lawyers, et cetera.

05:34And there were all kinds of conversations happening. And like, you know, if it wasn't going to happen

05:40soon, it wasn't looking like it was going to happen. And there was like a lot of disappointment

05:46in the air that day. And then to go into scene with this new woman that just came in and she just

05:52starts, you know, saying a bunch of things that were highly triggering on a day that I really thought

05:58justice was just not possible. And I've lived my whole life and I've received a lot of blacklisting,

06:04a lot of, of opportunities gone right out the door. The second that he said, you're fired

06:14and then said for being raunchy and promiscuous, which now I think the whole world understands if I

06:22were and had been at that time, he would have loved me. Those types of things opened the door to then

06:26I didn't have, I had people that said they wanted to sign me. You're the biggest thing in music

06:31would have me come in, sing, perform, do all kinds of ritualistic shit. And then be like,

06:36Oh, I just got a call. Like, I can't touch you. Sorry. Like it was all these things just to like

06:42humiliate me. And the next guy through the door was Hugh Hefner that told me did he's nothing.

06:47He's not even really known. I'll open the doors for you in all kinds of different ways.

06:51And I moved on to the next person who yes, was accused, unfortunately passed. So we didn't get to

06:58see any fruition of that. Not like fruition is that great nowadays. Um, but you know,

07:04I think that I spent a lot of my life and a lot of lost and missed opportunities and I'm a really

07:11smart girl and I'm really deserving. I'm a good person. I treat people good and I know how to do

07:17what I do very well in every area. So it was a loss for what I could have brought to the table and

07:22many situations. They said the glass ceiling in my mom's day and age. I don't think they use that

07:28term as much anymore, but literally like, I felt like at one point, many points in my career that

07:34I'm just running up against walls and I'm like super fearless. I'll knock it down. I'll face whoever

07:42is on the other side. If my friends can't do it, or these people are scared, put me in coach. I got it.

07:47And those are the type of people they definitely don't want having any voice because those are the

07:52people that are not scared to use it. As a journalist, we're starting to see consequences

07:57when you speak up against certain, uh, enterprises and you're seeing, you know, you're seeing Stephen

08:06Colbert lose his job. You're seeing the view being held. You're seeing a lot of people that speak out

08:13and had a lot of bold messaging and there should be a place for all the messaging. You know, I didn't

08:18have any problem with anyone that's ever opposed my messaging. I don't mind seeing it out. I don't

08:23mind seeing people support it. I really don't even mind becoming friends and having conversations with

08:27people that don't think like me, but don't take away my ability to think and say what I feel.

08:33That's something completely different. We haven't seen that under any presidency in my lifetime.

08:38We do now. You have this experience and you're not, you're not just somebody coming into it

08:43who doesn't know what happened. You've experienced it firsthand.

08:47Worked for Diddy during the era in which he, his wealth grew to extreme degrees. A very significant

08:54piece of chunk of that making the band era was there live in action. Um, I don't know. I was

09:01the soulmate to the president's son at one point. I've been in all the rooms with all the people that

09:08are running the conversation right now. I know how they think. I know what they say behind

09:12everybody's back. I know what they say about each other. It seems like you're not afraid to

09:16go out there, say what, say your truth, say your experience. Are you ever afraid? Are there ever

09:23moments where you're like, maybe I shouldn't say that? Or you're nervous about an outcome or pushback

09:28or anything like that? When I was younger, I was more like reckless. Nowadays, two things I'm starting

09:36to notice. One, during the, you know, you have to remember, oh, obviously I've known about this

09:41behavior for a very long time. I've been warning everyone for about 20 years now that this is not

09:45a safe person to work with. It just was falling on deaf ears because no one wanted to hear me saying

09:49it. When the Diddy stuff started, when Homeland Security started coming around and other things

09:54started occurring and I started kind of getting in the cycle of, of that situation that was developing

10:00when all the world was just buzzing along thinking that he's a great guy and nothing

10:04was coming, thinking that he just gave all their artists their, their publishing back. And he's

10:10the greatest guy ever. That was like the last article the news was fed on him, which wasn't true.

10:15Um, and then, um, that took up a period. There were times during that where I was aware that physical

10:23danger was a reality. When I was on the phone with another fellow band, uh, not in my band, but from

10:29a band previously that he created Babs, I don't know. She's the, one of the, the ones that walked

10:35to Brooklyn to get the cheesecake. Unfortunately, that's what they're known for, which is coercion,

10:41uh, live on television, MTV love doing that back in the day. Um, but anyway, so they, they,

10:49I talked to Babs and there was a time where I was dating pros from Fuji's and he kind of gave

10:53me a call. He would always be my center. Like I'd be like, am I being a Karen? Do I sound

10:57like a Karen to you? Am I doing way too much? Most of the time it was, yes. There was one

11:01time where he was like, you could amp it up a little. And that's when I got this butcher

11:06knife and I was on the phone with Babs and I was making her like screen record all these

11:10unmarked cars that were outside on my block. I just, I know how to look for certain things

11:16based off of certain things that I've had to learn in life. And there were unmarked cars

11:21around me for a bit that seemed suspicious. And I don't know how much danger there ever was

11:27is or isn't. I mean, we saw two victims drop out during jury selection. Um, you know, clearly

11:36there were things moving and shaking on all sides, but, um, there, I've been aware of multiple times

11:44in the past couple of years that physical danger is a real thing. And important to hear from

11:49everybody and anybody who has a platform basically. Um, and you know, I, I know I would sit here and

11:56talk to you about this all day. Will you be on any other shows? Do you have any plans to be on other

11:59shows where we can find you, where we can listen to you, where we can hear all of this?

12:05Um, right now, what I'm working on is getting through, um, you know, I was documented during

12:13this whole process that we've been discussing. So I'm looking for that and sentencing to be over

12:20with so that I can understand how the system is systeming, really get a good understanding of

12:28who has the power and who's, uh, protecting what, because there are so many pieces I've learned over

12:37the past couple of years as I've placed everything out that I've seen and that I know. Um, and then

12:43where I'm safest. And then from there, I don't know. I think the network that I'm on right now

12:49should put me on traders. I think I'm like a easy pick for the past couple, maybe not couple years,

12:55definitely this year they should have picked me, but, um, I don't know whoever's that systeming over

13:00there and just doesn't quite see it for me on traders. You're tripping the whole audience thinks

13:05I should be there. So at this point, if you work at NBC and someone next to you doesn't quite see it

13:11for Aubrey on traders, give them a,

13:13looking look and a kick in the shin because that's where I think I should be television wise next.

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