00:00If you are a person who has been held captive in relationships with narcissists,
00:04then possibly you are changing behavior. Some of the behaviors may seem strange to you too,
00:09though the truth is that you are not a damaged person. Instead, you are engaging in the healing
00:14process. Let's have a discussion about it. Hey guys, it's nice to be back with you on the channel.
00:19The first thing I want to say before we start is, if you see yourself in this video, take my word,
00:24you are not alone. Plenty of people have been through and survived narcissistic abuse,
00:29and what you are going through is simply a normal reaction. Now, let us dive into the 10 weirdest
00:34behaviors. Number one, you apologize for everything. Have you ever been in a situation
00:40where you said, sorry for something that you did not do? For example, you would apologize for the
00:45rain or for being there. The reason for this is the manipulative nature of the narcissists who covered
00:51you up with a blanket of guilt. Your brain has not yet recovered from that state and it is trying to
00:56avoid the non-existent conflict. You might say sorry when someone lightly bumps into you. You would
01:02even say sorry before you ask your question. Sometimes you say sorry for your needs or for
01:07taking up someone's time. You are probably wondering why you are this way. The answer is quite simple.
01:12Your nervous system has been conditioned to keep you out of trouble that is no longer there with
01:18constant apologizing. Number two, you overshare with new people. There is a nice person and all of a
01:24sudden you are narrating to them every detail about your life. While the action appears random,
01:29it is in fact logical. You went through a period of time when your voice was suppressed so that when
01:35someone listens to you, the dam breaks. You have been longing for recognition and authentic bonding.
01:41The narcissist never bothered to ask how you felt or what you were thinking. Hence, when the outside
01:46world shows one's sincere interest, one cannot resist. You are trying to find out if the person is
01:51trustworthy. You are also inadvertently warning them about your past, allowing them to leave.
01:57It is a mixture of a plea for help and a defense strategy simultaneously. Number three, you feel
02:02guilty when things go well. Got a promotion? Feel anxious instead of happy? Survivors often feel like
02:08they don't deserve good things. The narcissist convinced you that you weren't worthy and that programming
02:13doesn't disappear overnight. Your brain is literally confused by happiness. You might even sabotage good
02:19situations because they feel unfamiliar and scary. Success feels wrong because you were punished for your
02:25achievements before. You're waiting for the other shoe to drop. This guilt is your old normal, trying to
02:30protect you from disappointment. Number four, you constantly scan people's faces. You are very observant
02:37of the people's faces around you. You are checking expressions, voice tones, and the way they are using their
02:43bodies all the time. You are looking out for warning signs. That extreme vigilance has always been your
02:48shield during the abuse. Now your body is still overreacting, trying to anticipate the non-existent
02:55next assault. You enter a place and right away you gauge the mood of the people there. The tiniest
03:00change in someone's face is enough for you to go into panic mode. You keep replaying the dialogues in
03:06your mind, looking for the connotations. Your entire being is incapacitated in the defensive mode,
03:12considering every social encounter a possible danger. Number five, you struggle to make simple
03:17decisions. Selecting a place to eat seems like an impossible task. Film choice induces strain.
03:23While with a narcissist, your options were either rejected or ignored. Having tastes was a risk,
03:28thus now your ability to be decisive is not that strong. You hesitate when a person poses the query,
03:34what do you want? Because this question used to be a trap. You are so afraid of making a wrong choice
03:39and suffering the penalties. You may ask others to choose for you, or you just say, I don't care,
03:44even though you actually do. Every tiny decision seems to carry immense significance.
03:49Number six, you downplay your abuse. You often find yourself making statements like,
03:55it wasn't, so bad, or there, are other people who suffer more. It is really a way of mitigating the
04:01gravity of the situation. The narcissist conditioned you to doubt your own truth. Moreover, acknowledging,
04:07the abuse means accepting that you were victimized and that you were deprived of your time,
04:11which is so hard to bear. Seven, you are completely independent. You never let anyone help you. You rely
04:18completely on yourself. This is not a trait only, but also a way to guard yourself. You found out that
04:23being reliant on someone made them able to inflict pain on you. Hence, you would rather be in a difficult
04:28situation than to be open and vulnerable. Eight, you have emotional flashbacks. Out of the blue,
04:34you experience a wave of fear, shame, or panic without any apparent cause. A person speaks in a particular
04:40manner or you catch a whiff of a certain perfume, and you are right there, back in the past.
04:45These stimuli are the ones that your mind uses to ward off past threats. Nine, you are always
04:51testing people. You are going to isolate someone and then see what they will do next. You will provoke
04:57small, quarrels just to discover whether they will stick with you or walk away. The love from the
05:02narcissist was dependency and instability. Thus, you are now putting everyone through tests to
05:08identify the safe ones and the ones who will hurt you like the others did.
05:12Ten, you experience feelings to the highest degree. A little bit of kindness can make you cry a river.
05:18A very small rejection can wipe you out emotionally. You are now allowing yourself to feel at last.
05:24Thus, your emotional intensity is very high. You had to keep everything in for so long that now they
05:29all come out together. Now, let me explain. Such behaviors are not going to be forever.
05:33They are defense, mechanisms that aided you to survive during the traumatic experience. With time,
05:40therapy, and being kind to oneself, you will be healed. You are not broken. You are not mad. You
05:45are just a survivor trying to do what is best. If the video was beneficial to you, please hit the
05:51like and subscribe buttons. Leave a comment sharing which behavior you, personally, found the most
05:56relatable. Your story is important. And do not forget, the healing process is not a straight line,
06:02but you are already on the route. Take care of yourself. I will talk to you in the next video.
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