Alpha Males Experiment 2009 in English Hollywood movie

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Transcript

00:01:00But Poseidon is jealous and bitter toward me.

00:01:04Hey!

00:01:14Yeah, I'm ready.

00:01:17Well, I didn't forget it, babe.

00:01:20Yeah.

00:01:22Honey, why are you so nervous?

00:01:24Do you?

00:01:25Yeah.

00:01:25Let's go, babe.

00:01:27All right, sweetheart.

00:01:28Time to shine.

00:01:30I'll see you out there, right?

00:01:32Okay.

00:01:33Hey.

00:01:35Love you.

00:01:35Ready for me.

00:01:38I use you as much as you use me.

00:01:42By the time I stood on solid ground,

00:01:47you gaze agroncoal and your eastern bend.

00:01:51All the stories I've told over dreams

00:01:55And I've never got the chance to hear just what you think

00:02:00And I know the story

00:02:06Please be seated

00:02:09Someday we'll be sorry

00:02:15Please enjoy a healthy life until we enjoy love, stability, and abundance

00:02:21Let it be mentioned before your two lives are worth

00:02:25Guess what?

00:02:38I'm coming here to shoot you an email at my flat vacation, okay?

00:02:42See you Saturday, bro

00:02:44It's not like a puppy who just lost his owner

00:03:05That's a long day, that's all

00:03:08It's making me sad sitting there like that

00:03:12Come tell me a joke then

00:03:14So what are you drinking?

00:03:20Um, gin and tonic

00:03:21One more for me please

00:03:22I think I have one

00:03:25Sure

00:03:26Alright

00:03:26So to get up to heaven, you have to walk up a hundred stairs

00:03:30And on each stair, God tells you a joke

00:03:32And if you laugh, you get sent straight to hell

00:03:35So

00:03:37A brunette walks up

00:03:38She gets to the 56th step

00:03:40Starts cracking up

00:03:42God sends her straight to hell

00:03:44And a redhead

00:03:46She gets to the 97th step

00:03:48Starts cracking up

00:03:49God sends her straight to hell

00:03:51Then a blonde

00:03:52Gets all the way to heaven

00:03:54Starts cracking up

00:03:55And God goes

00:03:57Why are you laughing?

00:03:59And the blonde replies

00:04:00I just got the first one

00:04:03Here tell me when now

00:04:08Look, honey

00:04:10I'm not sure if you're ready for my candy

00:04:12Rayburn's here

00:04:13It was nice to meet you

00:04:14Kyle

00:04:15Nice to meet you, Kyle

00:04:16You need a smile or more

00:04:17You got a good smile

00:04:18Come and eat that drink back

00:04:46Excuse me?

00:04:48Give me the drink back.

00:04:50Give me eight bucks if you spend on it.

00:04:52It's your problem, man. Bro, this has nothing to do with you.

00:04:54Now you, let me on

00:04:56so I buy you that drink.

00:04:58Give me the drink or give me my money.

00:05:02Fine.

00:05:16I swallow water

00:05:20to the ground.

00:05:30I got a message from Kyle this morning.

00:05:32He's flying out on Saturday.

00:05:34What? Did he say why?

00:05:36Nope. Just, uh, you know,

00:05:38he's gonna email me all the details,

00:05:40just flight info, and I'll go pick him up.

00:05:42He's not staying here, is he?

00:05:44Where else would he be staying?

00:05:48Come on, he's my...

00:05:50You want me to put my brother in a hotel?

00:05:52No, that's fine.

00:05:58Good thing your whole sorority's getting married this year.

00:06:02Otherwise, I'm not sure how it'd make rent.

00:06:04You mean almost whole sorority?

00:06:08You're gonna do this tonight?

00:06:10Really?

00:06:12Well, maybe you should've taken the assistant job.

00:06:14Yeah.

00:06:16I heard that my parents dropped 80 grand for film school

00:06:18so I could make coffee and be yelled at.

00:06:22Besides, I'm gonna buy you your ring.

00:06:24My friends are buying houses.

00:06:26We're in this...

00:06:28this dump.

00:06:30Your friends?

00:06:32Your friends are all taking handouts from their parents.

00:06:34Sweetheart, I haven't been out of school a year yet.

00:06:36You have to give this some time.

00:06:38You keep saying that.

00:06:40Have you thought maybe it's time to look for a job outside of this industry?

00:06:42I want a job in my field.

00:06:44What?

00:06:45That's right.

00:06:46When are we gonna get married when we're 40?

00:06:48No, no.

00:06:49Hey.

00:06:50Sweetheart, don't cry.

00:06:52Just stop.

00:06:54Come here. Hey.

00:06:56Come here.

00:06:58I'm sorry, all right?

00:07:00I didn't mean to get married.

00:07:02I need you to stick with me through this.

00:07:04All right?

00:07:05I promise things will get better.

00:07:06Will you please?

00:07:08Please just take the assistant job.

00:07:14Sure.

00:07:16You will?

00:07:18Yeah.

00:07:19Yeah, of course.

00:07:37Such a occasion, cunt.

00:07:40Just need to get on your own for a while, man.

00:07:42Just get away from all the drama, you know?

00:07:46How long you staying, any idea?

00:07:48I don't know, man.

00:07:50A couple of weeks, maybe.

00:07:52If it's cool with the princess, of course.

00:07:54If not, I'll go with Steven Mateo.

00:07:58Let me drop you off there right now.

00:08:03So how is Heather doing, man?

00:08:05A little stressed out with the whole work situation.

00:08:09How's that going, man?

00:08:10Did you film anything new lately?

00:08:11No.

00:08:12It's just the corporate videos, the wedding videos.

00:08:14But I'm just about to send my reel out again.

00:08:16So fingers crossed.

00:08:17Let's see.

00:08:18Did you call my boy Mateo, like I told you?

00:08:19Yeah.

00:08:20You know what?

00:08:21I've never heard a thing.

00:08:22Did you follow up?

00:08:23No.

00:08:24Isn't he just an assistant down there anyway?

00:08:27Dude, my boy made an agent a couple of months ago.

00:08:29I'll call up later.

00:08:30All right.

00:08:31You know what?

00:08:32I'm actually, uh, gonna apply for an assistant job myself

00:08:35on Monday.

00:08:38Hey!

00:08:39I'll be out.

00:08:40Is that job idea yours or hers?

00:08:42Start.

00:08:43All right.

00:08:44I'm struggling.

00:08:45She's been paying the bills for the last six months.

00:08:49This is struggling, bro.

00:08:53Dude, can you not be in deck for like five minutes?

00:08:55Yeah.

00:08:56Okay.

00:08:57Hey.

00:08:58Hi.

00:08:59Good to see you, pal.

00:09:00How was your flight?

00:09:01It's good.

00:09:02What are you all dressed up for?

00:09:04Yeah.

00:09:05Where are you going?

00:09:06It's Amber's bachelorette party.

00:09:07It's a little inappropriate, don't you think?

00:09:10No, I don't think.

00:09:11Um, I left you some money on the counter

00:09:12in case he's going to get some dinner or something.

00:09:15Oh, and, uh, I guess we'll catch up tomorrow, pal.

00:09:18Yeah, sure.

00:09:19Hey, wait up.

00:09:20Have a good night, honey.

00:09:29Yeah.

00:09:30So, bro, um, you ever watch Everyone Loves Raymond?

00:09:33Yeah.

00:09:34Yeah, I love that show.

00:09:35Yeah?

00:09:36Yeah.

00:09:37Why?

00:09:38Do you think Raymond has a pretty healthy relationship with his wife?

00:09:43Sure.

00:09:45Really?

00:09:46Bro, he's a spineless fuck with a domineering bitch wife

00:09:49who has to beg when he wants to have sex.

00:09:51Oh, yeah.

00:09:52You call that healthy?

00:09:53And the reason I bring it up...

00:09:54No, I know why you're bringing it up, right?

00:09:55Everybody hits rough paths now and then.

00:09:57You have to take control of your relationship and put Heather in a place.

00:09:59Yeah.

00:10:00I should treat my girls like shit like you always did, huh?

00:10:02Equal relationships are a myth.

00:10:04All women secretly want their man to be in charge.

00:10:07I'm so surprised you and Melissa didn't work out.

00:10:09I...

00:10:14Okay, Ethan.

00:10:15Your resume looks fine.

00:10:18I see you've interned at a number of other places.

00:10:21You must be a professional intern.

00:10:23But at least you'll have some idea what's expected of you here.

00:10:27But...

00:10:28What are you?

00:10:31Aspiring actor, writer?

00:10:34Oh, no, I'm a commercial director.

00:10:37Oh, commercial director.

00:10:39Okay, look here, Spielberg.

00:10:41Mr. Shapiro is tired of training new assistants.

00:10:43He's been through three in the last eight months.

00:10:45We are looking for someone who can commit to two years.

00:10:49Can you do that?

00:10:51Hi, McPrevious.

00:10:52This is Ashley.

00:10:53Hold, please.

00:10:54Hi.

00:10:55Hi.

00:10:56Can I help you?

00:10:57Yeah, I'm after Russell.

00:10:58Russell?

00:10:59Yeah, he's a tempier.

00:11:00Big, uh, intimidating.

00:11:01Bear of a guy.

00:11:02Okay.

00:11:03And what's your name?

00:11:04Uh, Ethan.

00:11:05Hey, man.

00:11:06Hey!

00:11:07Hey!

00:11:08Hey!

00:11:09Hey!

00:11:10Hey!

00:11:11Hey!

00:11:12Hey!

00:11:13Hey!

00:11:14Hey!

00:11:15Hey!

00:11:16Hey!

00:11:17What you up to?

00:11:18Yeah, I was in the neighborhood for an interview.

00:11:19Oh, uh...

00:11:20You want to grab some ice?

00:11:21Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:11:22Yeah, we'll get to.

00:11:23What do we want?

00:11:24I want to go.

00:11:25Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:11:26We can do it.

00:11:27We can do it.

00:11:28What do you want?

00:11:30Oh, yeah.

00:11:31I've got to go.

00:11:33Like ass, yeah.

00:11:35I don't know what the hell I'm gonna tell Heather.

00:11:37Oh, yeah, I feel you, bro.

00:11:38I totally blew my CSI audition the other day.

00:11:40When that happens, it'll be something else.

00:11:41You know what, though?

00:11:42Not to get you too excited for nothing,

00:11:43but, uh, there might be a job opening here.

00:11:45Really?

00:11:46Yeah, the video editor been talking about quitting for months.

00:11:48Oh, Russ, that'd be great.

00:11:50Well, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it.

00:11:52So, uh, so you think there's a chance?

00:11:55Yeah, did you not see the titties on that receptionist?

00:11:58I mean, my God!

00:11:59You all be watching, dude.

00:12:01What?

00:12:02And now you're not giving it up lately?

00:12:05Chape like a 15-year-old boy.

00:12:07Can I answer your question?

00:12:25Hey, kiddo.

00:12:26There ain't goddamn traffic.

00:12:28I'm sorry.

00:12:32There ain't gonna be a big deal.

00:12:35I can't even notice the smoke...

00:12:36I can't even see the smoke out,

00:12:37but it's so great.

00:12:38I should continue to hear the smoke out of the smoke out.

00:12:40I don't see what happened on this,

00:12:41but it's pretty much good for me.

00:12:42I mean, I've just been talking about it.

00:12:43I don't see anything.

00:12:44I don't see anything.

00:12:45But let's just say,

00:12:46if you have a big deal,

00:12:47how do I take my complaint?

00:12:48Man, you gotta check out Mateo's new pad.

00:13:07She didn't take my shit, too, did she?

00:13:18She didn't take my shit.

00:13:48Hey, Ross, what's up?

00:14:02Hey, man, how you feeling?

00:14:04Uh, same.

00:14:06I've been there, but I got some good news for you, Doc.

00:14:09Yeah.

00:14:11So we just need everything edited by the end of each day so we can post it in the morning.

00:14:15Okay.

00:14:16Welcome aboard.

00:14:18Hey, thanks for this opportunity.

00:14:20I'll let you down, I promise.

00:14:21Just be here tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp.

00:14:25Hey, there.

00:14:26Hey, uh, it's Ethan.

00:14:28I, uh, well, I wanted to call you.

00:14:31I, uh, I got a job.

00:14:32And, uh, you know, I'm pretty excited.

00:14:35It's, uh, it's great pay.

00:14:36And, um, you know, I wanted you to be the first to know.

00:14:40So, uh, so, uh, so now you are.

00:14:44Um, call me when you get a chance.

00:14:48Um, I love you.

00:14:50Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh

00:15:20I'm staying.

00:15:22Huh?

00:15:24I'll flip you for the master bedroom.

00:15:26No, no, there's no flipping for my bedroom.

00:15:30Um, don't you have a job to get to, Bo?

00:15:33I was just some temp bullshit job back home.

00:15:36Been talking to Mateo, he thinks I should be a manager.

00:15:39Manager?

00:15:40Yeah.

00:15:41You've been in LA, what, five minutes,

00:15:43and now you're gonna be a manager?

00:15:45Mateo thinks I'm a natural.

00:15:47He's gonna talk to some people.

00:15:50What? That's terrific.

00:15:52How you gonna pay rent?

00:15:54I wasn't paying shit at mom and dad's.

00:15:56I got like 500 bucks saved, though.

00:16:03Look, I know you don't wanna deal with us right now,

00:16:05but if you could just, uh, just call me.

00:16:08Please just, um, just call me.

00:16:10I miss you, I miss you, and I wanna talk to you, okay?

00:16:13You, my friend, are coming over tonight.

00:16:16All right? It's been way too long since we had the group together.

00:16:18You know what? Not tonight, boss.

00:16:22You not feeling it?

00:16:23No, I just...

00:16:24I don't care. You know why?

00:16:25Because you need to stop festering,

00:16:26and you need to stop fucking calling her.

00:16:28I'm not calling her that much, so...

00:16:30Oh, really?

00:16:31Oh, well, that's funny,

00:16:32because she told Renee that you call her about ten times a day.

00:16:35Renee spoke to her?

00:16:36What'd she say?

00:16:38Tell you what, you come over tonight,

00:16:39and for every shot you do,

00:16:40I'll tell you one sentence, she said.

00:16:41All right.

00:16:56There he is.

00:16:57Hey, well, five more minutes,

00:16:58and I'm gonna come over there and drag you out myself.

00:17:01Come on, yeah.

00:17:04Oh, what's happening, man?

00:17:05How you been?

00:17:06Good to see you, man.

00:17:07Yeah.

00:17:08Ethan!

00:17:10Hi!

00:17:12See that Mickey D's commercial, brother?

00:17:13That shit was sweet.

00:17:14Yeah, yeah, so it's the check.

00:17:16Which one's still running.

00:17:17It's okay?

00:17:18Yeah, but of course it's good.

00:17:19How you doing?

00:17:20How you doing?

00:17:21How you doing?

00:17:22How you doing?

00:17:23You remember my wife, Renee.

00:17:24Hey!

00:17:25How you doing?

00:17:26It's so good to see you.

00:17:27And this is Patricia.

00:17:28I think you guys met last year.

00:17:29Congratulations.

00:17:30Hey, you sure some sweatshop kids are real happy you're wearing a shirt?

00:17:33My brother, ladies and gentlemen.

00:17:35This is her boyfriend, Gavin.

00:17:37What's up, man?

00:17:38What's up, brother?

00:17:39You gotta hear his band, dude, to kick ass.

00:17:40Oh, yeah?

00:17:41All right.

00:17:42Let's get some drinks going, baby.

00:17:43What are you drinking?

00:17:44Coke.

00:17:45Rum and Coke, coming right out.

00:17:46All right, double it is.

00:17:47Or would you like to risk it all

00:17:48in double jeopardy with some Yeager shots?

00:17:49Is he gonna be like this one?

00:17:50That's a yes.

00:17:51Yeah.

00:17:52I think you should just start drinking.

00:17:53Yes.

00:17:54Come on, sit down.

00:17:55Where am I?

00:17:56Over here.

00:17:57You're over here.

00:17:58She's Santa.

00:17:59That's it, babe.

00:18:00Sorry.

00:18:01She knows I got a job, though, right?

00:18:02Yeah, yeah.

00:18:03She got all of your messages.

00:18:04Huh.

00:18:05Look, honey.

00:18:06You know what?

00:18:07There comes a time when you kind of just, you have to...

00:18:08What's another refill?

00:18:09What do you mean?

00:18:10There's times what?

00:18:11There's times what?

00:18:12There's times what?

00:18:13You gotta just let it go, Ethan.

00:18:14Just let it go.

00:18:15Really, you need to...

00:18:16What is that?

00:18:17What are you holding back?

00:18:18Is she?

00:18:19I don't know.

00:18:20I don't know.

00:18:21She's in my room.

00:18:22I'm not like I'm the only one.

00:18:23I don't know.

00:18:24I don't know.

00:18:25I don't know.

00:18:26I don't know.

00:18:27No, no, no.

00:18:28Who's her?

00:18:29What do you mean?

00:18:30There's times what?

00:18:31There's times what?

00:18:32Oh.

00:18:33I just let it go, Ethan.

00:18:35Just really, you need to...

00:18:37What's that call is that?

00:18:38What are you holding back?

00:18:39She, um, she's seen somebody else there, Renee.

00:18:52Look at me.

00:18:53Hey.

00:18:53I mean, you really don't want to hear that.

00:18:55I got it.

00:18:55It's not going to help.

00:18:56I got it.

00:18:58Renee, look at me.

00:19:06I know it.

00:19:09Ethan, I like Heather.

00:19:11I do.

00:19:11I always have.

00:19:12You know that.

00:19:12But you know what you need to do is you need to move on.

00:19:16She's a sorority, girl.

00:19:17Yeah.

00:19:17She's way too high maintenance for you.

00:19:18You deserve so much better.

00:19:20No, dude, look, you are an artist.

00:19:22You're a filmmaker, all right?

00:19:23She didn't get you.

00:19:24She just holds you back anyways.

00:19:26I never liked her, but it's your fault she left.

00:19:33What?

00:19:34It's your fault she left.

00:19:35What the fuck are you talking about?

00:19:37Bro, you don't act like a man.

00:19:38And it was bound to happen.

00:19:39Better now than later when you have kids or some shit.

00:19:41That's why you tell her like a goddess and she left me because of fucking money.

00:19:44The money thing is why she's a bitch.

00:19:46But you acting like a bitch is why she left.

00:19:52Oh, fuck you.

00:19:54It's you.

00:19:54Listen to that.

00:19:56I drove my home, jerk.

00:19:58Oh, you're kidding.

00:19:59We're going.

00:20:00We're going.

00:20:01We're going.

00:20:02We're going.

00:20:04What?

00:20:05He's acting like a pussy.

00:20:07It's embarrassing.

00:20:08Look, bro.

00:20:22About earlier.

00:20:24If you're going to get emotional, just don't do it in public.

00:20:26Even though most people say it's okay for a man to cry, a study has shown that in reality,

00:20:32women lose respect for a man after seeing him cry.

00:20:38Come on, bro.

00:20:38Don't be a fucking baby.

00:20:40Damn, baby.

00:20:40You're a baby.

00:20:42You always put chicks on a pedestal for no reason.

00:20:44What you don't understand is that it's the last thing that they want.

00:20:48See, that makes no sense to me.

00:20:49Well, that's your problem.

00:20:50First of all, I don't have a problem.

00:20:52It's a problem.

00:20:55You know what, hot shot?

00:20:57Since you seem to be the messiah of vagina, I bet you help me out, huh?

00:21:02Put me in the right fucking direction, maybe.

00:21:04Then why would I do that?

00:21:06Why?

00:21:07Why would you do that?

00:21:08Look at me.

00:21:09Get Heather back.

00:21:10Fuck no.

00:21:11Why not?

00:21:12Bro, she's showing her true colors.

00:21:14She's not worth your time.

00:21:15I have never asked you for anything.

00:21:18The fact that I'm asking you this makes me want to fucking vomit.

00:21:24Please help me.

00:21:25You just want it back because you don't think you'll ever get a hotter piece of ass.

00:21:28A fucking dick, man.

00:21:33All right, hey, you know,

00:21:34I do admire the fact that you finally realize you have a problem.

00:21:41So you'll help me?

00:21:43On one condition.

00:21:44All right.

00:21:46You have to conquer one woman

00:21:48before you try groveling back to heaven.

00:21:51And by conquer,

00:21:52I mean, fuck.

00:21:55What are you, 12?

00:21:56Bro, I don't believe you even have to think about this.

00:21:58Come on.

00:22:02All right, deal.

00:22:03Deal, deal.

00:22:05And, um,

00:22:07now that you get a paycheck,

00:22:08you might think about investing in some furniture.

00:22:10This place kind of looks like a serial killer's apartment.

00:22:14God.

00:22:26Lesson one.

00:22:28What do women really want?

00:22:30To conquer your fear of the enemy,

00:22:32you must first understand her.

00:22:35Humans are just another animal.

00:22:37Much of what we do is dictated by our biology.

00:22:40We are still programmed for living and breeding

00:22:41the same way our knuckle dragon ancestors did a million years ago.

00:22:44So what's the most basic human desire?

00:22:49To love.

00:22:53The most basic human desire is to reproduce.

00:22:56And each of the sexes plays a very different role when it comes to that.

00:23:00Men, on one hand, are built to spread their seed,

00:23:03and we produce an endless amount of it.

00:23:05Dude, our needs are simple.

00:23:07Have sex as often as possible,

00:23:09with as many young and healthy women as possible,

00:23:11because it will increase our chances of fertilization.

00:23:14This is why we think about sex all day,

00:23:16and why porn is one of the biggest industries in the world.

00:23:19Now, women, on the other hand,

00:23:22they're built to nurture.

00:23:23They only produce a limited amount of eggs.

00:23:25I mean, they're pregnant for nine months,

00:23:27and they need help raising the kid to defend for itself, right?

00:23:30So they have to be really careful when they choose a man,

00:23:32because they need one that'll stick around and provide what?

00:23:36Security.

00:23:37Security, exactly.

00:23:38This is why men want sex, and women want security.

00:23:41It's the basic hunter-gatherer behavior

00:23:43that's gone on for thousands and thousands of years, man.

00:23:46This shit's part of us.

00:23:47It's imprinted in our DNA.

00:23:50It's a lesson, too.

00:23:53Do you now understand why women are attracted to a confident man?

00:23:57Because they think he'll be able to provide them

00:23:59with the security they need.

00:24:01Exactly.

00:24:01Okay.

00:24:02A confident man is a man who trusts his own abilities

00:24:05to achieve things.

00:24:06He's a man who does not need anything,

00:24:08because he's in control of the situation.

00:24:10So, like, that's why, you know,

00:24:13like, a needy and insecure guy, is that a turn-off?

00:24:16Women have, like, a fucking sixth sense

00:24:18that sniffs out insecurities in a man.

00:24:20I've noticed that.

00:24:21They have a primary action to it,

00:24:22because back in the caveman days,

00:24:25a poor choice in a man

00:24:26could mean the difference between life and death for them.

00:24:29That makes sense.

00:24:31That's nice.

00:24:32Hey, what about this one?

00:24:35That piece of shit.

00:24:37Oh, it's like a comfy piece of shit.

00:24:40But we're not cavemen anymore.

00:24:43You know, we don't need to hunt.

00:24:45We don't need to fucking slaughter our food.

00:24:48We have society, technology.

00:24:50Women don't need men as much.

00:24:52Yeah, man, but think of how long we had that.

00:24:56How long has it been since we had

00:24:57a relatively peaceful society

00:24:59where women can actually live on their own?

00:25:01You're asking me?

00:25:01A hundred years?

00:25:02Two hundred, maybe?

00:25:03Two hundred, yeah.

00:25:04I mean, come on, that pales in comparison

00:25:06to the thousands of years

00:25:08in which women have needed us

00:25:09in order to survive.

00:25:11They're still instinctively attracted

00:25:13to a strong male just like monkeys.

00:25:15But I see women with needy guys all the time.

00:25:18A girl who marries a needy guy

00:25:19will always resent him on some level.

00:25:22Remember that.

00:25:26So lesson three.

00:25:28It's important to remember

00:25:29that the definition of security

00:25:31has evolved over time.

00:25:33What counts in today's world

00:25:34is financial security.

00:25:36Because that's what provides food,

00:25:38shelter, and Gucci.

00:25:40And that's why you'll always see

00:25:42beautiful young girls

00:25:42riding in Porsches

00:25:44with ugly old guys.

00:25:48Yeah.

00:25:48Huh, where do you come up

00:25:50with this stuff?

00:25:51It's a Discovery Channel, man.

00:25:52You can't even spell Discovery.

00:25:57He's over there.

00:25:58By the right.

00:26:00He's over by the right.

00:26:01By the right.

00:26:03Oh!

00:26:04You just did shot in the face.

00:26:06You just did shot in the face.

00:26:10I'm just glad to be out.

00:26:11We haven't left the house

00:26:12in a month.

00:26:12He doesn't do anything.

00:26:13Did you put him out

00:26:14to MySpace, babe?

00:26:15I got to him.

00:26:16Yeah, I did it last night.

00:26:17Nice is nice.

00:26:18You're back in the game, baby.

00:26:20So any action yet?

00:26:21I think.

00:26:22No, you're not ready yet anyway.

00:26:25Hey, how about you?

00:26:27You get any, uh, you know...

00:26:28It's been 22 days.

00:26:30Oh.

00:26:30My balls are gonna fucking explode.

00:26:32All right, dude.

00:26:33Is he had any auditions right now?

00:26:36You know what?

00:26:37I don't know.

00:26:38I wouldn't know.

00:26:38He doesn't tell me anything.

00:26:40It's like...

00:26:40You try talking to her, maybe?

00:26:41Wow.

00:26:42She says that I don't, you know,

00:26:43make any effort

00:26:43at trying to do any foreplay.

00:26:45You know, so last night

00:26:46made some effort.

00:26:47We tried some little moves.

00:26:48All right, I'm giving her a little massage.

00:26:50Working my magic.

00:26:51Sure.

00:26:51She turns over and says,

00:26:52you know, you're just doing this

00:26:53to have sex.

00:26:54Oh, of course you did.

00:26:55Why else would you do it?

00:26:57I can't wait.

00:26:58I can't wait.

00:26:59Honey, hold on.

00:27:00Honey.

00:27:01Hey.

00:27:02Are you sharing the details

00:27:03of our sex life with your friends?

00:27:05Oh.

00:27:06No, I really wouldn't worry

00:27:07about that, sweetheart.

00:27:08There's not much to share.

00:27:10Oh.

00:27:11Yeah, you're right.

00:27:12Because you don't really need me anymore

00:27:14since you have 546 porn videos

00:27:16on your computer.

00:27:17Five hundred and how many?

00:27:19What do you do?

00:27:20Yeah, I found them.

00:27:21They were in the TPS reports folder.

00:27:25Dude, she just called you a...

00:27:27Look, I don't mean to butt in,

00:27:29but the way I see it,

00:27:30it's a woman's duty

00:27:31to give a man sex

00:27:32on a regular basis.

00:27:33What?

00:27:33Her duty?

00:27:34Sorry, what was that, Scott Captain?

00:27:35Don't help.

00:27:36Don't help.

00:27:36Easy.

00:27:37Hear me out for a second.

00:27:38Uh-huh.

00:27:38I'd like to,

00:27:39because this is going to be good.

00:27:40You see,

00:27:41as our species evolved

00:27:42and created societies,

00:27:44each of the sexes

00:27:44has made a concession to the other.

00:27:46Men have learned to be monogamous,

00:27:48and women have learned

00:27:49to provide for themselves better.

00:27:51Sounds straight out of a textbook.

00:27:52Yeah, it does.

00:27:53I think I took that course

00:27:54in college, too.

00:27:55Every day a man sees 20 other women

00:27:56who love to bang the shit out of her,

00:27:57right?

00:27:58But he doesn't.

00:27:59He's made a vow to one woman.

00:28:01The least this woman could do

00:28:02is provide her loyal partner

00:28:03with a blowjob or a tug

00:28:04once in a while.

00:28:04And you've been divorced

00:28:06for how long?

00:28:06Hey, I divorced her.

00:28:07Yeah, I can see what you're saying, Kyle,

00:28:09but it's definitely not our duty.

00:28:10Look, we're simple creatures.

00:28:12We just need two things

00:28:13in order to feel like

00:28:13we're playing our part.

00:28:15Sex and competition.

00:28:17Competition?

00:28:18Challenging jobs, sports,

00:28:20game, poker, whatever.

00:28:21Something to fulfill

00:28:22our instincts as hard.

00:28:23Yeah, you know what I need?

00:28:24I need another drink.

00:28:26And to talk to you.

00:28:31Thanks.

00:28:32Thanks.

00:28:33Appreciate that.

00:28:34Way to help her mother out.

00:28:35You know what's gonna happen now.

00:28:37As soon as we get in the car,

00:28:38she's gonna hit me

00:28:38with a little secret weapon.

00:28:39What's secret weapon?

00:28:41Crying.

00:28:42Crying.

00:28:42Bitches totally pulled that shit

00:28:44to try to control us, man.

00:28:45But after a while,

00:28:46I figured it out,

00:28:47and I came up with this rule.

00:28:50What's the rule of enlightenment?

00:28:53All right.

00:28:55You gotta make them cry once a month.

00:28:57Just let them know

00:28:57you're not afraid to do it.

00:28:59Keeps them in line.

00:29:00That's fucked up.

00:29:01That's real fucked up.

00:29:02Nah, bro, that's smart.

00:29:03The way women see it,

00:29:05they can walk all over you

00:29:06so that everybody else.

00:29:08Let's make that lesson four.

00:29:10You gotta keep on their toes, huh?

00:29:12Like a ninja that had a urinal.

00:29:15Okay, so we're thinking

00:29:23the blue one, right?

00:29:24Yeah, yeah,

00:29:25the light blue one you have.

00:29:27Classic.

00:29:29There we go.

00:29:30Decision made.

00:29:32So, what exactly

00:29:33are you guys doing tonight?

00:29:35Hi, Ethan.

00:29:36Well, Kyle's taking me out

00:29:37for some field training,

00:29:38you know?

00:29:39It's all part of his program.

00:29:40Oh, God, right.

00:29:42His program.

00:29:43Which translates

00:29:43to stupid player mind games, Ethan.

00:29:45Do not listen to him.

00:29:47How are you possibly

00:29:47going to meet anyone

00:29:48pretending to be someone you're not?

00:29:50Who are you talking to?

00:29:51Uh, it's Patricia.

00:29:52Is that Kyle?

00:29:53Bro, hang up.

00:29:55Did he just tell you

00:29:56to hang up on me?

00:29:57No, it's just, uh...

00:29:58Kyle being Kyle.

00:29:59That's all.

00:30:00Oh, well, that's Patricia.

00:30:01Bye, bro.

00:30:02What are you doing?

00:30:03Hello?

00:30:03Hey.

00:30:04Hello?

00:30:04Dude, what is your fucking problem?

00:30:06What's my problem?

00:30:07Yeah.

00:30:08You're asking a woman

00:30:09to tell you what women want.

00:30:10Right, and to most people

00:30:11that makes perfect sense.

00:30:12First of all,

00:30:13you asked me to help you, remember?

00:30:15Lesson five.

00:30:17Don't ever ask a woman

00:30:18what she wants

00:30:18when it comes to men.

00:30:19She'll answer

00:30:20with some shit

00:30:20she read in Cosmo that week.

00:30:22She'll tell you

00:30:22what she's supposed to,

00:30:23not what her gut

00:30:24tells you she wants.

00:30:26All right.

00:30:27Now get dressed.

00:30:36Your assignment for tonight

00:30:37is to initiate

00:30:39a conversation

00:30:39with four girls.

00:30:41You want me to walk out of here

00:30:43and talk to a complete stranger?

00:30:45Yeah, what are you worried about?

00:30:46I just came out of a very

00:30:47serious relationship with Kyle.

00:30:49I don't know if you're aware

00:30:49of that or not,

00:30:50but, you know,

00:30:50I feel a little, you know,

00:30:52insecure.

00:30:52Let me explain something to you.

00:30:54Honey, come here a second.

00:30:56Do you think this girl's hot?

00:30:59Yeah, I mean, you know,

00:31:00she's...

00:31:01Hey.

00:31:02Guess what?

00:31:03There's 5,000 other broads

00:31:04just like her,

00:31:05so who gives a fuck

00:31:06who one of them thinks?

00:31:07Fuck you, asshole.

00:31:08Maybe later, honey.

00:31:09Stick around.

00:31:10I'm so sorry.

00:31:12Now, if you follow my rules,

00:31:14you'll avoid

00:31:14setting off that whoosh radar.

00:31:24Hi, I'm Lisa.

00:31:25Hi.

00:31:27Where are you from?

00:31:29Connecticut, actually.

00:31:30I'm a Moniece ghost kid.

00:31:32I'm from New York.

00:31:33First rule.

00:31:34If you like a girl

00:31:35right off the bat,

00:31:35you're going to want to open up

00:31:36and say way too much,

00:31:38way too soon.

00:31:39Don't do it.

00:31:40What you're really doing

00:31:41is seeking her approval.

00:31:42My old roommate,

00:31:43my college roommate,

00:31:44moved out here

00:31:44and he kind of convinced me

00:31:46to come out here

00:31:46for film school.

00:31:47When I got here,

00:31:48like three weeks later,

00:31:49he committed suicide.

00:31:51Yeah.

00:31:52You know,

00:31:52I ended up having to live there

00:31:53and look after his dog.

00:31:55I gotta go.

00:31:55Oh, your friends are here?

00:31:57No.

00:31:58I, uh,

00:31:59I just gotta go.

00:32:03Don't apologize

00:32:03for every stupid thing

00:32:04you do or say.

00:32:05It's a clear sign

00:32:06of insecurity.

00:32:07I'm sorry,

00:32:08has anybody ever told you

00:32:10you look like Annette Bening?

00:32:13She's like 55 years old.

00:32:16No, I, I, you know,

00:32:17when she was young.

00:32:18I mean, you know,

00:32:19she was hot.

00:32:20You didn't say the hot

00:32:20Annette Bening.

00:32:22Don't try to buy her affection

00:32:23with food and gifts.

00:32:24This is another sign

00:32:25of insecurity.

00:32:26I, I buy you a drink?

00:32:27Yeah.

00:32:28Uh, vodka cranberry.

00:32:29Of course,

00:32:31I'm still not gonna fuck you.

00:32:33But thanks for the drink.

00:32:35Next rule.

00:32:36If you don't know what to say,

00:32:38don't say anything at all.

00:32:40Where are you from?

00:32:41California.

00:32:43I'm, you know,

00:32:44where, where are you born?

00:32:47California.

00:32:47Oh, you, you were born

00:32:48in California?

00:32:50But I was, you know,

00:32:50just, you know,

00:32:51what I'm asking is

00:32:52with the, the, you know,

00:32:54your, your, your thing,

00:32:56when you have anyone,

00:32:57because, you know,

00:32:58I just, I just know

00:32:59there's the heritage.

00:33:00You know,

00:33:00where did you guys

00:33:01come in from?

00:33:02God, what do you have to do

00:33:08to get a drink around here?

00:33:10Oh, I blew a bartender.

00:33:11Really?

00:33:12Well, I don't think

00:33:13I'm going to.

00:33:13Good for you.

00:33:15Do you need another one?

00:33:16No, I'm good.

00:33:17Are you sure?

00:33:18It's all my friends to have.

00:33:19Well, in that case,

00:33:20I'll have a case of scotch.

00:33:22And the last rule,

00:33:23never kiss your ass.

00:33:24It's a total sign of weakness.

00:33:26Hey, listen,

00:33:26I hope this isn't too forward,

00:33:28but, um,

00:33:29you look right in this outfit,

00:33:31so it's a really good look on you.

00:33:32That doesn't make me sound gay,

00:33:34does it?

00:33:34A little gay?

00:33:35Teaser instead,

00:33:36make fun of her,

00:33:37be cocky.

00:33:37They love that shit.

00:33:39And as long as you don't

00:33:39call her fat or old,

00:33:41you're golden.

00:33:42But I kind of thought

00:33:43this made me look a little

00:33:44a little fumpy.

00:33:46I was going to say fat,

00:33:49but...

00:33:49Well, no, I mean,

00:33:50I like it, though.

00:33:50Curves.

00:33:51It's something to hold on to,

00:33:52right?

00:33:52It's what I hear.

00:33:54What the fuck

00:33:55did you just say to me?

00:33:58Fuck you,

00:33:59faggot.

00:34:01Hi.

00:34:05Hi, brother.

00:34:09What happened?

00:34:10He just got bitched out.

00:34:11Fucking fine.

00:34:13You gotta be kidding me.

00:34:19Oh, for God's sakes,

00:34:21Kyle!

00:34:22Hi, this is Heather.

00:34:30I can't get to the phone,

00:34:31so leave a message,

00:34:32and I'll call you soon.

00:34:33Bye.

00:34:34I can't get to the phone,

00:34:35but I can't get to the phone.

00:34:35I can't get to the phone.

00:34:36I can't get to the phone.

00:34:37I can't get to the phone.

00:34:38I can't get to the phone.

00:34:39I can't get to the phone.

00:34:40I can't get to the phone.

00:34:41I can't get to the phone.

00:34:42I can't get to the phone.

00:34:43I can't get to the phone.

00:34:44I can't get to the phone.

00:34:45I can't get to the phone.

00:34:46I can't get to the phone.

00:34:472. Go all the way to the side

00:34:514. Go all the way to the side

00:34:575. Go to the side

00:35:015. Go to the side

00:35:066. Start to finish the side

00:35:12You do realize I haven't been on a date in three years, right?

00:35:42You'll be fine. Just be yourself.

00:35:44Yeah, well, what if she doesn't like who myself is? Have you thought about that?

00:35:47Come on. She saw your picture. She still wants to meet you.

00:35:50Just be nice.

00:35:52Remember the little things, like open the door for her.

00:35:55Yeah.

00:35:57Will you two please make an effort to get along, huh?

00:35:59You make me more nervous.

00:36:04You're not shutting me out this time.

00:36:06You say what you're going to say, I'll say what I'm going to say.

00:36:08He'll make up his own mind.

00:36:10Fine by me.

00:36:12Fine.

00:36:24So I'm curious, Kyle. What kind of films do you watch?

00:36:27Uh, I like 300.

00:36:29Ooh, that's a little homoerotic.

00:36:31Fight Club is probably my favorite, though.

00:36:33Let's see. A bunch of regressed imbeciles punching each other in a basement.

00:36:37Yeah, I can see why.

00:36:40Yeah, why Fight Club?

00:36:41You can learn a lot from Tyler Durden.

00:36:43The movie's about guys reclaiming their masculinity.

00:36:46It argues that we're a generation of men that had our balls taken away.

00:36:49Oh, my God.

00:36:50That's why it all begins at a support group for men with testicular cancer.

00:36:54No balls.

00:36:56Huh.

00:36:57Yeah, I didn't read into it that much.

00:36:58The violence in it's way too gratuitous.

00:37:00What's your favorite movie?

00:37:01Let me guess.

00:37:02Sense and Sensibility.

00:37:03Oh, actually, I hate British period pieces.

00:37:07They're all the same.

00:37:08They're all about the delayed fuck.

00:37:10Two people from different classes stare at each other from across the room for three fucking hours.

00:37:19Wow.

00:37:19How do I look?

00:37:20You look great.

00:37:21Really?

00:37:21Yeah.

00:37:22Dude, you're fucking sure it isn't going to make the difference between scoring and not scoring.

00:37:26If you want to score, just act like a man.

00:37:28And not like one of those sissies in the British movies.

00:37:30See, now that makes no sense to me.

00:37:32I mean, chicks dig guys like you, right?

00:37:34He's a fruitcake.

00:37:36Give him the choice between you, Grant, and Sean Connery in his prime.

00:37:39And nine out of ten will pick Connery.

00:37:41And the one that doesn't is a dyke.

00:37:43Why?

00:37:43Because Connery's a man and he plays leaders in his films.

00:37:46Patricia, is he going to be the bumbling pretty boy who's always apologizing?

00:37:50Or is he going to be the guy with hair in his chest who slaps you on your ass and tells you to go away because he's busy with man talk?

00:37:55Fuck you.

00:37:56He's from Goldfinger, right?

00:37:58Very good, dude.

00:37:59There's hope for you yet.

00:38:01Who's the leader on the film set?

00:38:03Director.

00:38:04Fucking A. You want to be the leader, don't you?

00:38:06Sure.

00:38:07It's the same shit with women.

00:38:08Show them that you can be the leader and you'll get the gig.

00:38:11There's no reason to be nervous, man.

00:38:13I mean, those chicks on MySpace, they never look like the picture.

00:38:15She's probably a dog anyway.

00:38:29I'm hesitant between the salmon and Emily.

00:38:33Um, well, I've tried the salmon here before and it's pretty good.

00:38:39Yeah?

00:38:40Yeah, they do a great job with it.

00:38:42It's grilled, right?

00:38:43I mean, no butter and...

00:38:46Yes.

00:38:47Okay.

00:38:47I think we'll go with the salmon and I'll take the, uh, the linguine.

00:38:52All right.

00:38:52Great.

00:38:53I'll be back with the wine.

00:38:55You got it.

00:38:55Thank you, sir.

00:38:57Nice guy.

00:38:58I wonder if he's an actor.

00:38:59He's probably an actor.

00:39:00I don't know.

00:39:00Probably.

00:39:05So, uh, wow.

00:39:09Is this your first time doing the whole online thing, too?

00:39:13Yeah.

00:39:14Right?

00:39:15Right?

00:39:16I know.

00:39:17I swear I never do it.

00:39:18But I just, I work a lot and I don't really want to date anybody that I work with.

00:39:22Oh, that's smart.

00:39:23It's, you know, it's good.

00:39:25Well, um, listen, before I forget, thanks for, uh, for coming and, uh, doing this.

00:39:37I, you know, you.

00:39:42Yeah, but, you know, thanks for, for clearing your schedule at work, uh, in order for you

00:39:49to come down and, uh, and, and eat.

00:39:53Sure.

00:39:55Hey, no, I, I got it.

00:40:06Well, I thought we said we'd split it, you know, so there'd be no weirdness.

00:40:10Oh, no, no, no weirdness at all.

00:40:12I, I insist.

00:40:19Well, this is me.

00:40:23Great.

00:40:25Well, it was, uh, it was nice to meet you.

00:40:29That's, uh, that's important.

00:40:35Um.

00:40:35Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh

00:41:05Did you want to know how it went?

00:41:11Well, you're here with me and not with her turning her into a finger puppet, so...

00:41:16What's wrong with her?

00:41:21Look, you probably have that shitty feeling in your chest right now.

00:41:24No.

00:41:28Let's go rub one out.

00:41:31What?

00:41:33Lesson seven.

00:41:34Just like rubbing one out before the date so you're not so nervous, rub one out afterwards.

00:41:39Helps you get rid of that I-didn't-score feeling.

00:41:44I think I just threw up in my mouth.

00:41:47Wait, oh!

00:41:48No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:41:50Not yet, babe, not yet, not yet, not yet.

00:41:53Oh.

00:41:58Sorry.

00:41:58Oh, it's okay.

00:41:59What?

00:42:00It's okay.

00:42:01Oh.

00:42:01It didn't sound like it's okay.

00:42:04No, babe, it's fine.

00:42:06Well, you know what?

00:42:06Maybe if we did it more than once a year.

00:42:08Oh, right.

00:42:09Because it's my fault.

00:42:12Yeah, it is.

00:42:14Hey, I'm sorry that I'm not horny every single day.

00:42:17I mean, you need to make a little bit more effort.

00:42:19I believe I just did.

00:42:21One time.

00:42:22Big fucking deal.

00:42:23I mean, what about last month?

00:42:24Seems like you're only horny when I get a residual check coming or some shit.

00:42:27You know what?

00:42:28I think that I am just going to go ahead and drive myself to the airport.

00:42:33You, you can just stick around here and you can do whatever it is that you do all day

00:42:36long while I pay your bills.

00:42:37How about that?

00:42:39I'll, uh, see you later.

00:42:41Babe, I didn't mean it like that.

00:42:43You?

00:42:46Dude, it was terrible.

00:42:48I didn't even last a minute.

00:42:49It was like pump, pump, give.

00:42:50I just got this, uh, this email from a company I sent my reel to.

00:42:55Hey, uh, oh, this is great.

00:42:57What is it?

00:42:58I didn't want to take a meeting about possibly the right thing, uh, campaign for Vance.

00:43:02Nice!

00:43:03Now, don't forget your friends when you're casting, man.

00:43:04You know, I'll be back on unemployment as of next week.

00:43:06Hey, look, I know it's rough out there, right?

00:43:08But, hey, we got Mateo's party.

00:43:10Yeah, he only reps big names, though.

00:43:11But there's going to be other agents here.

00:43:13She knows exactly what she's doing.

00:43:15She'll ruin your own.

00:43:17Just about everything that you're doing.

00:43:19You'll lose it.

00:43:20You'll lose it.

00:43:20So, Kyle, how do you, uh, how do you know this guy?

00:43:24Nah, we met a long time ago at The Bachelor, buddy.

00:43:26We spent the night trying to see who could come up with the worst pickup lines for a girl

00:43:29and still get a number.

00:43:31Yeah?

00:43:31Yeah.

00:43:32Who won?

00:43:32I did, of course.

00:43:34Come on.

00:43:41Damn!

00:43:42Who is this guy?

00:43:43One of those hobbits from The Lord of the Rings.

00:43:46Who, Frodo or that guy from Rudy?

00:43:48There's some serious ass in this place.

00:43:50I told you my boy Mateo don't fuck around.

00:43:56Speaking of devil.

00:43:57What the fuck's up, Cocktail?

00:44:01It's so good to see you.

00:44:03Fuck off me.

00:44:04You're smiling again, man.

00:44:05Look at you.

00:44:06Yo, Mateo, but this is my little brother, Eagle, right?

00:44:08That's right.

00:44:09You were supposed to see me you're real, huh?

00:44:10Yeah, yeah, I did, yeah.

00:44:13Oh, fuck, man.

00:44:14I'm sorry.

00:44:14I must have lost it.

00:44:15Send it to me again.

00:44:16I'll take a look at her, okay?

00:44:17And this is Russell.

00:44:18Oh, hey, man.

00:44:19Yeah, the actor, right?

00:44:20Yeah.

00:44:20Send me you're real, too, man.

00:44:21I'll forward it to some people.

00:44:23Serious?

00:44:24Fuck, yeah, homie.

00:44:24I got your back.

00:44:25You know, and this is Gavin and Patricia.

00:44:28Good to meet you, Gavin.

00:44:30Oh, no shit.

00:44:31I'll check it out, man.

00:44:32Check it out.

00:44:33And Patricia.

00:44:35Hi.

00:44:36How are you?

00:44:37I'm Mateo.

00:44:39Where'd you meet all these women?

00:44:40You've got to check this shit out, okay?

00:44:42Fucking genius.

00:44:43All right, so every month, we receive hundreds and hundreds of headshots from fucking the most

00:44:47beautifully naive and desperate.

00:44:50Angenio's trying to be the next fucking Reese or Angelina, right?

00:44:53All the other agents in town take those headshots.

00:44:55Throw them away.

00:44:56Except for one guy.

00:44:58Me.

00:44:59Okay, I have my assistant.

00:45:00She picks the most beautiful girls, right?

00:45:02Preferably not from L.A.

00:45:03She gives them a call.

00:45:04She says, hey, it's going to be a big Hollywood party up in the hills, big agent's house.

00:45:08It's like fishing with dynamite.

00:45:11Hose.

00:45:12You guys are disgusting.

00:45:14I know, it's great.

00:45:15Who brought Avril Lavigne?

00:45:17Listen, sweetie.

00:45:18I'm sorry, sweetie?

00:45:20It's not like everyone's holding a gun to these girls' head.

00:45:23They know what they're doing.

00:45:24And you know what?

00:45:25They're playing right into it.

00:45:26A lot of them are going to get work because of you.

00:45:27You are feeding them to the prize.

00:45:29I know, and I feel terrible about that.

00:45:30No, I don't.

00:45:31What's happening here is all I'm doing is just speeding up the process that's already

00:45:35going to happen.

00:45:35Really?

00:45:35You know, yeah.

00:45:37Sugar, do me a favor.

00:45:38Go get yourself a drink.

00:45:40It's on me.

00:45:41And enjoy the game.

00:45:44What?

00:45:45Hey, you started this.

00:45:46You opened your big mouth.

00:45:46This is perfect.

00:45:51All these girls are fresh off the bus.

00:45:53They're all fucking waitresses.

00:45:54You have nothing to be intimidated.

00:45:56They're nobodies.

00:45:57That's true.

00:45:57Listen, you are a working filmmaker now, okay?

00:46:00You've actually directed shit.

00:46:01You got made.

00:46:02What?

00:46:02Yeah, I mean, spec commercials and short films.

00:46:04It doesn't matter.

00:46:06These broads don't know shit.

00:46:07You could tell them you're Spike Lee and they'd believe you.

00:46:09As a matter of fact, tell them you're Ang Lee.

00:46:11That shit's funny.

00:46:12What is that?

00:46:13You're kind of like a pussy here.

00:46:14Yeah, you are a fucking director.

00:46:15Don't you get the little shoot thing lined up?

00:46:16That lined up's a little strong.

00:46:18I'm just taking a meeting.

00:46:19Bro, I'm going to fucking kill you.

00:46:20Look around and point to the hottest girl you see.

00:46:23Uh, I don't know.

00:46:25Girl with the bar in me.

00:46:26Great.

00:46:29Just do not look interested at me.

00:46:31Do not smile at me.

00:46:32When you talk to her, look around at other girls.

00:46:34You know, follow my lead.

00:46:38Hi, I'm Kyle.

00:46:39I work with Mateo.

00:46:40Hi.

00:46:41Hi.

00:46:42I'm Jenna.

00:46:43This is my client, Ethan.

00:46:44Hi, Ethan.

00:46:45Hey.

00:46:45Ethan here is going to be directing a campaign of commercials with hands.

00:46:49Oh.

00:46:49Yeah, you know, it's a comfortable show.

00:46:52I noticed you earlier and I told him I thought you'd be perfect for it.

00:46:55It's a national, by the way.

00:46:56You are an actress, right?

00:46:57Oh, yeah.

00:46:58It's LA, right?

00:46:59Right.

00:47:01Ethan here wasn't convinced.

00:47:02I thought you'd look too reserved, too quiet.

00:47:05So I told him that if he came over and met you,

00:47:08that he might change his mind.

00:47:09You're not reserved and quiet, are you, Jenny?

00:47:14Oh, no.

00:47:15No way.

00:47:16Yeah.

00:47:17Have a drink, would you?

00:47:18Do it for me.

00:47:19I have a good feeling about it.

00:47:22Yeah.

00:47:23Yeah, sure.

00:47:23Drink candy.

00:47:25Great.

00:47:25Cranberry juice.

00:47:29Keeps your leg a lot.

00:47:30It's good.

00:47:32Well played.

00:47:34That was fucking too.

00:47:36I'm stealing that shit.

00:47:37I just hope he doesn't fuck this one off.

00:47:39Oh, you know he will.

00:47:40Hey, man, I need a drink.

00:47:41I'm with you.

00:47:42Come on, I've got a girl who picked that boy.

00:47:45She's 21, and I swear to you, this one doesn't have to hurt.

00:47:48What'd you tell her about?

00:47:50You'll see.

00:47:51Come on.

00:47:51So, Mateo said you're an architect.

00:47:57So he did, did he?

00:47:58Yeah.

00:48:00So, um, what do you build?

00:48:05Well, actually, I designed the longest tunnel in the world.

00:48:09Goes from Los Angeles to Hawaii.

00:48:11It's called a tunnel.

00:48:12You've probably heard of it, right?

00:48:13Um, yeah.

00:48:17Yeah, I think so.

00:48:23Let's go.

00:48:23Oh!

00:48:24Oops!

00:48:25Oh, okay.

00:48:27Sorry.

00:48:27Hey, don't I know you?

00:48:30No, I think I remember you.

00:48:32Are you an actor?

00:48:33Yeah.

00:48:34You played the young cop on Passions that Jessica had a crush on.

00:48:39Okay, hold on.

00:48:39A, I can't believe you watched Passions,

00:48:41and B, I can't believe you remembered my glorious three-episode part.

00:48:45You were really good.

00:48:47Especially that one scene where you revealed that you were gay.

00:48:52Very convincing.

00:48:53No, I'm convincing.

00:48:53Oh, yeah.

00:48:54Well, you know, that was just acting.

00:48:55That was, you know, my first time trying to do something new.

00:48:59You like that?

00:48:59I didn't think you were that good at all.

00:49:01Oh, believable.

00:49:03Not gay, huh?

00:49:05No.

00:49:05Good to know.

00:49:08All right.

00:49:09So you want to buy me?

00:49:11Give me a drink?

00:49:13Yeah, sure.

00:49:14Sure.

00:49:16To the bar.

00:49:17So when was the last time you missed a girl?

00:49:22Not that long ago.

00:49:23Really?

00:49:25Was that you?

00:49:26Maybe a year ago.

00:49:28Yeah.

00:49:29I'm smelling an update.

00:49:31See, sweetheart.

00:49:42As a species evolved through the years and created society.

00:49:45Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:49:46I'm sorry.

00:49:46So you think that we came from apes?

00:49:50Well, I don't know about you, honey, but I sure did.

00:49:56Oh, I'm so glad you found someone who's an intellectual match.

00:49:59Cheers.

00:50:00Don't pay attention to her.

00:50:03She's been trying to hit on me all night.

00:50:05You're rehearsing like mad because we're playing the whiskey next month.

00:50:09Congratulations, assistant.

00:50:10Have a good drink.

00:50:11Hey, thank you.

00:50:14Uh, Angela.

00:50:14Patricia.

00:50:15Patricia, Angela.

00:50:16Hi.

00:50:18Hi.

00:50:19Angela works at MTV.

00:50:21She was just saying how she can get my demo to one of her execsans.

00:50:25Really?

00:50:26Uh-huh.

00:50:26You're cool, huh?

00:50:27Next week?

00:50:27Next week it is.

00:50:28To no coincidences?

00:50:30Very exciting.

00:50:40You know what?

00:50:41They wanted, like, the whole frontal or something.

00:50:43I don't play that, you know?

00:50:45That brother's on that side watching.

00:50:47They're gonna be like, you know what I'm doing?

00:50:47You are so funny.

00:50:49Oh, no.

00:50:50Don't.

00:50:53Hey.

00:50:55I think you could, um, give me right home.

00:51:00Tonight?

00:51:02Uh, um.

00:51:02Shh.

00:51:04Shh.

00:51:05Shh.

00:51:06Shh.

00:51:07Shh.

00:51:08Shh.

00:51:09Shh.

00:51:10Shh.

00:51:11Shh.

00:51:12Shh.

00:51:13Shh.

00:51:14Shh.

00:51:15Shh.

00:51:16Shh.

00:51:17Shh.

00:51:18Shh.

00:51:21Shh.

00:51:22Shh.

00:51:23Shh.

00:51:24Shh.

00:51:25Shh.

00:51:34Ah.

00:51:34Shh.

00:51:35This is a forest.

00:51:37Shh.

00:51:39Uh.

00:51:39She's a forest.

00:51:40Dexat.

00:51:40Say.

00:51:40Set.

00:51:41necesita.

00:51:41Transport.

00:51:42Which is a forestry cada Anders.

00:51:43Hall.

00:51:44petty jiwa.

00:51:45Get.

00:51:45金.

00:51:46so she dropped you off yeah and no sleep yet still miss Heather

00:52:05thank you this is good I'd be a little less nervous for that meeting tomorrow

00:52:16so you like the concept uh yeah I do actually very much indeed I think it's uh very solid

00:52:38so what's your take on it how do you see it well just like the storyboards here I love the whole

00:52:44cinema verite handheld approach you know I think that's uh I think that fits for sure you don't

00:52:50think it's too much of an obvious direction to go with it um well you know usually the simplest

00:52:58solution is the best one right uh-huh well we're also thinking about going with a more stylized

00:53:04approach you know lots of slow motion oh I you know I think for sure that will work here I love

00:53:10that idea Ethan I'm asking you which one you think we should go with

00:53:17um well I mean you know honestly I like them both I think uh this way and and the way you just

00:53:27what do you think hello hey Ethan it's Jenna from Saturday hey hey um yeah hi um you know what just um

00:53:52let me pull over hold on one sec hang on um what's up just wanted to say hi since I hadn't heard from

00:54:00you yeah you know what it's uh I've you know this whole week I did it's been crazy and uh I just

00:54:06came out of a meeting actually so I had a good time on Saturday yeah that's that's good me too

00:54:12it was it was a lot of fun we should uh you know do it again maybe if totally um so how's everything

00:54:18going with that Vance job funny you should ask it's uh it's a little up in the air right now

00:54:28but you know what I'm I'm not worried about it I mean you know something else is going to turn up

00:54:33you know what to always do right is this the part where you blow me off there Jenna sorry

00:54:48yeah

00:55:03of course

00:55:16yeah

00:55:18yeah

00:55:20yeah

00:55:24yeah

00:55:26yeah

00:55:28yeah

00:55:30yeah

00:55:32Weird memories

00:55:39Left behind

00:55:46When the stars go

00:55:53It's alright

00:56:02Our society is denying the natural differences between the sexists in the interest of promoting equality and political correctness

00:56:09Because the equality of the sexists is a bad thing, right Kyle?

00:56:13Look, I'm all for you broads voting and getting paid the same shit, but feminists have taken it too far

00:56:18How so?

00:56:19Because of them. If a woman today chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, she'd look down upon by most of society

00:56:24But if it wasn't for feminists, women today would still be nothing but June Cleavers

00:56:28What's wrong with a mother actually wanting to be there to raise her kids?

00:56:30Where's the father? What's he doing?

00:56:32He's out working to provide food and shelter, like he should be

00:56:35Why can't he be at home while the woman works?

00:56:37Because it just doesn't make sense. This is what I'm talking about

00:56:40You know what? You don't have to worry about having kids

00:56:42Because your personality is like natural birth control

00:56:51Hey, baby

00:56:56Look, we're encouraging women to act like men and vice versa

00:56:59This is slowly taking away the very things that make us men

00:57:02Mmm

00:57:03I gotta take this place for you

00:57:04I gotta take this place for you

00:57:05And now for the lecture

00:57:06Why don't we have a break? That's so fun

00:57:08It's simple

00:57:09I can take it some other like this

00:57:13I can take it some other like this

00:57:14I can take it some other like this

00:57:16Maybe we'll get at you

00:57:18What was she gonna run?

00:57:21What's she gonna run?

00:57:22Who is that?

00:57:27Don't answer that. Hold this

00:57:32Bro, don't you answer that

00:57:36Heather?

00:57:37Hi

00:57:38Fine, do whatever you want

00:57:39Relax, Kyle!

00:57:40What's going on? Are you okay?

00:57:41No, nothing. No. Hey

00:57:42Happy birthday

00:57:43Hey, thanks

00:57:44Thanks for calling

00:57:46I, uh

00:57:47I'm actually outside in my car

00:57:49I didn't want to come in

00:57:50I know everyone hates me

00:57:52Alright, um

00:57:53Stay right there

00:57:54Give me a

00:57:56Give me a second, will you?

00:57:57You sure?

00:57:58Yeah, we'll sneak out the back

00:57:59Just

00:58:00Just stay where you are

00:58:01Okay

00:58:02Alright, bye

00:58:03Why can't you talk from in front of me?

00:58:18You're really doing this right now

00:58:19Doing what?

00:58:20So you're basically telling me that you don't care about my band

00:58:23I never said that

00:58:24Right

00:58:25Angela is trying to help us out

00:58:27That's it

00:58:28So I really don't need this jealousy shit from you right now

00:58:31Or your tears, okay?

00:58:32Hey

00:58:49Hey

00:58:50Hey

00:58:59I've been trying to get hold of you for weeks

00:59:02I know, I...

00:59:06That would be easier if we didn't talk for a while

00:59:09Yeah

00:59:11I understand that, you know

00:59:16I just miss you so much Heather

00:59:19Yeah, yeah, I used to train at this boxing gym P.A.L. in New York

00:59:22Oh, P.A.L.

00:59:23I trained at Tony T's, it's one of the best places out here

00:59:25So you say?

00:59:26What happened with Patricia?

00:59:27Nothing

00:59:28You know that chick from the party we met?

00:59:30She called me a couple times and Patricia got all bitchy about it

00:59:34I totally spun around on her

00:59:36I made her feel guilty for even accusing me of nothing

00:59:38So...

00:59:39I'm cool

00:59:40Hey

00:59:41Oh, what's wrong with you?

00:59:42You're doing soft on me on something?

00:59:43No, man

00:59:44I could just see why she'd be concerned

00:59:46I got told Russell here

00:59:48There's only two reasons a man talks to a woman

00:59:50He wants a fucker or wants a fucker friend

00:59:53That's funny, that's funny because

00:59:55You've been talking to my girlfriend an awful lot

00:59:58What, are you accusing me of something?

00:59:59No, I'm just

01:00:00I'm just simply making an observation, smart guy

01:00:02Anybody want another beer?

01:00:03I'm just trying to keep your girl from turning my brother into a pansy, that's it

01:00:06Right

01:00:08I got your beers, brother

01:00:11But I got a job now, okay?

01:00:13Look, I promise you things will be different

01:00:15We won't have to struggle

01:00:16Ethan, I can't

01:00:20Things are good right now

01:00:22What happens if you get offered another directing job?

01:00:28You'll take it, won't you?

01:00:30Yeah, of course

01:00:32You'll give up a perfectly steady job

01:00:36And then what, collect unemployment until you get your next directing gig?

01:00:39Come on, Heather

01:00:40You know what, we'll figure it out, alright? We're...

01:00:43How can we afford to raise children?

01:00:45I can't live paycheck to paycheck the rest of my life

01:00:47I can't live paycheck the rest of my life

01:00:51Fall right forward here, guilty of sin

01:00:55Dude, where's your brother?

01:00:56He's probably in the bathroom whacking it or crying a little bit too

01:00:59I can give some pointers on the whack of that thing, you know

01:01:01I bet you can

01:01:03You okay?

01:01:04Good

01:01:06Oh, come on, why do you do that?

01:01:09Do what?

01:01:10Honey, nobody buys that tough girl bullshit you put on

01:01:12You're a girl, it's okay to cry once in a while

01:01:14You know what, Kyle, it's okay to shut the fuck up once in a while

01:01:16Do not call my girl honey

01:01:18You know what, have you ever taken a good look at yourself?

01:01:20You give all these speeches and theories about how terrible women are

01:01:24The truth is you are just hurt because your wife cheated on you

01:01:29That's right, Ethan told me all about it

01:01:32And now you're out there grudge fucking girls as revenge against your ex

01:01:35You're going after the young weak prey so you can be in control and not get hurt

01:01:39Okay, you know what, now you've gone a little too far, okay?

01:01:41Don't even talk to me right now

01:01:44Because apparently his macho bullshit is rubbing off on you

01:01:47Excuse me?

01:01:48Yeah, I saw you at the party with that girl

01:01:50What is she talking about?

01:01:52Wait a minute, she has no idea what she's talking about

01:01:55Actually, maybe that would explain the glitter that was on your jacket

01:01:59No, no, he just gave her a ride home

01:02:00What, you know what, don't help me

01:02:02You, you gave, you just gave her a ride home?

01:02:04She was drunk, I guess I gave her a ride home

01:02:06No, you gave the drunk girl a ride home, yeah

01:02:11I cannot believe that you wouldn't say anything I gave her

01:02:13There's nothing for her to tell you because nothing happened

01:02:15Shut up, I can't believe you

01:02:17Brene, Brene, Brene

01:02:20I mean, it's not like we were starving or anything

01:02:23I mean, we had HBO for Christ's sake

01:02:25But I was paying for it

01:02:26Ugh

01:02:27Along with everything else

01:02:28You know what, we didn't need half the shit you were paying for

01:02:30Right?

01:02:31I didn't need goddamn cable

01:02:32I didn't need the fancy couch or the new furniture

01:02:34I mean, you know what, all I wanted was to be with you

01:02:38I guess you didn't feel the same way

01:02:42What do you say?

01:02:43You know what, something has been bugging me for a while

01:02:46He didn't fuck that girl

01:02:47She was all over him when they were leaving

01:02:49Of course she was

01:02:50She thought he was rich and successful

01:02:51Not all women are like that

01:02:52Stop putting this shit into your brother's head

01:02:54No, they're not

01:02:56Let me tell you a little story

01:02:57A few years ago, these researchers at Yale

01:03:00Decided to teach monkeys how to use money

01:03:02Well, guess what happened after a few days of these monkeys learning how to trade silver coins for food

01:03:09A female monkey was approached by one of the males

01:03:12He gave her a silver coin

01:03:14She then proceeded to let him have sex with her

01:03:16When they were done, the female monkey promptly turned a coin into the researcher for food

01:03:24It's not your fault

01:03:26You're just whores by nature

01:03:31You are pathetic

01:03:40Smooth man

01:03:41Real smooth

01:03:46For your existence

01:03:49I know it sounds more dramatic than

01:03:55You see, it's like you've always wanted this perfect life or whatever

01:03:58You know, the five bedroom house, the three kids, a Volvo

01:04:03Fucking vacations every year

01:04:04But how were you expecting to afford it?

01:04:07By working

01:04:08By working?

01:04:10Honey, how were you going to pay for that on a teacher's salary?

01:04:13There were two of us

01:04:14See, now this is where you lose me

01:04:17Okay, now you've always wanted to be a teacher, right?

01:04:20And you've always wanted this perfect life

01:04:22Yet one can't afford the other

01:04:24So it seems apparent to me that you've always expected that your man should provide it for you, right?

01:04:29Yeah, I guess so

01:04:31So let me get this straight

01:04:32As long as your guy is doing a 95 soul destroying job, but he's still bringing home a government state pension, you happy?

01:04:41I'll be secure

01:04:43You're secure?

01:04:44Mm-hmm

01:04:47I would love you no matter what you did

01:04:50I never said I'd stop loving you

01:04:52The only difference is mine was unconditional

01:04:54Take care

01:04:58Take care

01:05:24Nice one, Kyle.

01:05:33You're fucking nice.

01:05:33You said I was sorry, bro.

01:05:34I was just playing around.

01:05:36It's fucking Patricia who got a lot serious.

01:05:37Well, you know what?

01:05:37You keep pushing her buns, all right?

01:05:39What do you expect?

01:05:42Jesus Christ, everybody?

01:05:49Oh, fuck.

01:05:54I'll be right back.

01:05:56What are you doing?

01:06:00What are you doing?

01:06:01Close your eyes, bro.

01:06:02Not closing my eyes, Kyle.

01:06:04Close your fucking eyes.

01:06:06Oh, my God.

01:06:07I don't have time for this.

01:06:12Can I open them yet?

01:06:14One second.

01:06:18Open your eyes, bro.

01:06:24Don't give up, man.

01:06:43Renee.

01:06:44Oh, you get the fuck out.

01:06:45Fuck out.

01:06:46Wait a minute.

01:06:46Just calm down.

01:06:47Look, I did.

01:06:48Tell me to calm down.

01:06:49Listen, nothing happened.

01:06:51I dropped her off at home.

01:06:52You can ask Kyle.

01:06:53Oh, I'm supposed to ask Kyle?

01:06:55The president of Mr. Bros for Hoes

01:06:57so he can, what, cover up for you?

01:06:58Get the fuck out of my house,

01:07:01you two-pump chump.

01:07:02I can't fucking believe that this is happening.

01:07:04What are you doing?

01:07:07Shut the fuck up and listen to me for a second.

01:07:10Remember those $200 pair of jeans that you had?

01:07:13Your favorite pair of jeans?

01:07:15Yeah, that one that you got bleach on and ruined, yeah.

01:07:18Remember how I tried to cover that up?

01:07:20How long did I last before guilt consumed me

01:07:26and I gave in and told you everything?

01:07:31About three minutes.

01:07:32Three minutes.

01:07:33Maybe four.

01:07:34For a fucking pair of jeans.

01:07:37Baby, you know me.

01:07:39Now, do you actually think that if I cheated on you,

01:07:43I'd be able to live with myself?

01:07:45Oh, my God.

01:07:49Oh, that's it.

01:07:51The dresser, the dresser, the dresser.

01:08:01So I've been thinking about what you said the other day.

01:08:05I was upset.

01:08:06You know, angry.

01:08:08No, you were right.

01:08:09You're not sort of.

01:08:09You were right.

01:08:10But I was right.

01:08:12I mean, go hard.

01:08:12Listen, it's not about the paycheck.

01:08:17It's not.

01:08:17It's about you.

01:08:19You act differently when you're working more.

01:08:22You know, you're more fun and more outgoing.

01:08:25And I think that you get depressed when you're not acting.

01:08:28And you just end up playing Xbox all day.

01:08:32And it's not exactly a big old turn-on for me to come home and the house is a mess.

01:08:36And you're rolling around in your boxers, you know?

01:08:39And also, I hate the fact that when you're not working,

01:08:42you expect me to make every single decision for us.

01:08:44Well, every decision that has to do with cash, yeah.

01:08:47Maybe I don't put that pressure.

01:08:49I feel a little weird telling you what to do with your money.

01:08:53It's not my money.

01:08:56It's not my money.

01:08:57It's our money.

01:08:58It's ours.

01:08:59Where's our purse at?

01:09:03I'm going to get me some rims.

01:09:05I'm tired of them tens.

01:09:06Ribs?

01:09:07Yeah.

01:09:07I want ribs.

01:09:08I'm going to want this spin.

01:09:09You know what I want you to do?

01:09:10I want you to go to sleep.

01:09:11No problem.

01:09:12Dream about spinning rims.

01:09:15Or your Volkswagen.

01:09:21I had my MySpace profile set up to not show how much money I make.

01:09:25I got, like, nine responses.

01:09:30So I went in and changed it to show what I actually make.

01:09:32I got, like, 32 responses.

01:09:34It's a joke.

01:09:35Look, most girls just want to know that you're a responsible guy who can hold a job.

01:09:39Guys who don't post their income, they're the ones who live in their mother's basement and in smoked weed all day.

01:09:44I'm kind of like Gavin's friends.

01:09:47I don't know, Patricia.

01:09:48I just don't know what to think anymore.

01:09:50I meant, you know...

01:09:51You know, things aren't working out for you because you're forcing it.

01:09:54It seems like you'll go out with any girl you can get your hands on, whether you have anything in common or not.

01:09:59You have to respect yourself first before a woman's going to respect you.

01:10:07Yeah, I guess.

01:10:08Focus on your work. Get back into directing.

01:10:18Women love men who do their thing, and that is your thing.

01:10:21I mean, look at Gavin.

01:10:22He's not a rock star. He's not rich.

01:10:24I don't care.

01:10:25He's passionate about what he does, and that's what I love.

01:10:27Yeah, but he's confident.

01:10:29I think he gets his confidence from knowing that he's good at what he does.

01:10:33We do like confidence, but you still have to be yourself.

01:10:35No.

01:10:38Yeah, but how do I know the girl I'm going to marry, right?

01:10:42Whoever she is.

01:10:43How do I know she's going to stick by me through thick and thin if things get shitty down the road?

01:10:48Well, I think you just need to show some guts that you'll put up a fight.

01:10:53Even if you have your bad days, right, woman?

01:10:55We'll stick with you.

01:10:58So basically, you're saying Kyle's right.

01:11:02Sort of.

01:11:03You kind of are.

01:11:04But if you fucking tell him I said that...

01:11:06All right, tough girl.

01:11:08All right, tough girl.

01:11:15Thursday at noon, you got it.

01:11:16Yeah, I look forward to it.

01:11:19Bye.

01:11:21Hey, I got a meeting.

01:11:22With who?

01:11:24Some production company Mateo sent my reel to?

01:11:27Your boy came through.

01:11:28That's great, man.

01:11:30What's the matter with you?

01:11:30Nothing.

01:11:31Just been doing some thinking, that's all.

01:11:33Look, I'm sorry I told Patricia about the Melissa thing, all right?

01:11:37Yeah, well, how'd you find out?

01:11:39Pops called me.

01:11:41Yeah, last week.

01:11:42A fucking blabbermouth.

01:11:43She's checking in on you, you know?

01:11:45I don't get it.

01:11:46I mean, when you two came out here last year, you seemed so happy.

01:11:49And you're even less of a dick than usual.

01:11:51That's because she had me fucking train like a circus heel.

01:11:53You?

01:11:54Yeah, me.

01:11:56First couple of years with Melissa were freaking great, man.

01:11:59It's just...

01:12:00She's the first girl I really got serious with.

01:12:04Then one day, all our friends started getting married.

01:12:06I got a little insecure.

01:12:11I thought that if I didn't put a ring on her finger, she wouldn't stick around.

01:12:15So I did.

01:12:17You gave in.

01:12:18That ring was a declaration of my surrender.

01:12:20I started doing whatever I thought would make Melissa happy, because I didn't want to lose her.

01:12:24It turned into you.

01:12:27What?

01:12:27You carry your balls on a silver platter?

01:12:30Yep.

01:12:31And that's why I took that job with her dad.

01:12:36So how'd you find out?

01:12:41I don't know.

01:12:41One day I was at work.

01:12:44And I had like this panic attack, right?

01:12:48My chest was really tight.

01:12:49My stomach was going fucking nuts.

01:12:52So I went home early.

01:12:55When I got there, it was this fucking Mercedes in the driveway.

01:13:01So I went in quietly.

01:13:02And I found Melissa blowing her boss on her bed.

01:13:12Fuck, what'd you do?

01:13:15I went fucking ape shit, man.

01:13:17I tore the dude apart.

01:13:18I tore the place apart.

01:13:20Fuck, I wanted to tear her apart.

01:13:24You didn't know, right?

01:13:25No.

01:13:26Because I knew deep down inside, it was my fault.

01:13:30I should have followed my gut and not my fears.

01:13:32And the fucked up part is, she begged me to forgive her.

01:13:35I mean, for two months, she practically stalked me.

01:13:37Why didn't she keep on banging her boss?

01:13:39Because the old Kyle was back.

01:13:41The Kyle she liked.

01:13:42Huh.

01:13:47Your little brother give you some advice?

01:13:49I shouldn't judge a whole woman based on Melissa.

01:13:57Yeah, I know.

01:13:59I told myself that a thousand times.

01:14:04I hope I'm wrong, man.

01:14:06Otherwise, it's a sad place we live in.

01:14:11If that doesn't change anything I taught you,

01:14:13you tell Patricia any of this shit,

01:14:15and I will fucking kill you.

01:14:17I know, I know, I got it.

01:14:19I know, I got it.

01:14:21I know, I got it.

01:14:33Erica.

01:14:34Ethan.

01:14:36Yeah, hey.

01:14:38Um...

01:14:38Small world.

01:14:40Right?

01:14:40I never did get your last name.

01:14:45I thought you said you were an assistant.

01:14:47I was.

01:14:48and you never said you were a director.

01:14:51Well, come on, it's L.A.

01:14:53You know, everybody says they're a director.

01:14:54I didn't want to sound pretentious.

01:14:57Well, nice to, um, see you again.

01:15:01Yeah, you too.

01:15:02You, uh, look good.

01:15:04Thanks.

01:15:06Well, um, John is stuck on the 405.

01:15:10I hope you don't mind if we wait for him.

01:15:13Oh, not at all.

01:15:13Not at all.

01:15:14No rush.

01:15:14I'm good.

01:15:16Great.

01:15:18I'm, I'm really sorry to make you wait like this.

01:15:44Oh, don't be.

01:15:45It's, it's fine.

01:15:46I'll just push my meeting with DreamWorks.

01:15:48I'm sure they'll understand.

01:15:53Okay?

01:15:55I seem a little stressed.

01:15:56To be honest, this is my first project as a full-fledged producer.

01:16:04That's great.

01:16:05Yeah.

01:16:05I, um, I started here as an intern and worked up to assistant, and three years later.

01:16:12Congratulations.

01:16:14So what's nice, are you going to take this place over?

01:16:17Uh, no.

01:16:18Actually, uh, commercials are just a training ground.

01:16:22I really want to do features.

01:16:23Oh, me too.

01:16:24Yeah?

01:16:25Yeah, of course.

01:16:26That's, that's the dream, right?

01:16:28Yeah.

01:16:29You know, by the way, I really liked your reel.

01:16:32Oh, thanks.

01:16:32That's, you know.

01:16:33I was actually the one who recommended you for the project.

01:16:37I'm going to call you back.

01:16:37I'm going to step into a quick meeting.

01:16:39You must be Eli.

01:16:40Uh, the case is not natural.

01:16:42Right.

01:16:42I fucking hate the 405.

01:16:43Always fucks my day.

01:16:45Yes.

01:16:45All right, I only got about ten minutes, so let's go over the concept first.

01:16:48Uh, what are you thinking?

01:16:49What are you seeing?

01:16:50Talk to me.

01:16:55Um.

01:17:00You know what?

01:17:01I, I gotta be honest.

01:17:05I think the concept's weak.

01:17:08Then why the fuck are we here?

01:17:09Don't waste my time.

01:17:10No, hey, Sean.

01:17:10Look, give me a moment, sir.

01:17:12Please, just, just hear me out, okay?

01:17:14Give me five minutes, please.

01:17:16Erica, I, look, I can shoot this and I can make it look great, okay?

01:17:21But what we have here is basically a, a glorified infomercial.

01:17:25Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

01:17:26Right?

01:17:27I mean, you know, the product is, is, is funny.

01:17:30I mean, there's potential here.

01:17:32What do you have in mind?

01:17:40I actually came up with this on my way over here.

01:17:42So, we open on this sports car to get him pulled over.

01:17:54You know, that stop sign back there wasn't a suggestion.

01:17:58I'm sorry, officer.

01:18:00I had a long night.

01:18:01I bet you did.

01:18:14Snore stop, proven effective to stop...

01:18:16That was so good.

01:18:18You like this?

01:18:19I'm so proud of you.

01:18:19That was awesome.

01:18:20You have got to make me a quick time of that.

01:18:22I'm sending it to everybody in your bed.

01:18:23Hey, okay, cool.

01:18:24Austin, brother, yeah?

01:18:25You like it?

01:18:25Hey, none of it would have been possible without the help of my stunning producer.

01:18:28Oh, cheers.

01:18:29There's a nice girl.

01:18:30He's been in it forever.

01:18:31Dang it, Eve.

01:18:32Cheers.

01:18:33Maybe I'll have to get the little people on the way out.

01:18:35I'll never forget you, all right?

01:18:37By the way, I got some head shots.

01:18:38Oh, my God.

01:18:39There's emotion.

01:18:40I'm so good.

01:18:40There he is.

01:18:41Hey, Patricia, when am I going to meet this infamous Gavin?

01:18:44He's been super busy rehearsing.

01:18:46Kind of sucks, but maybe this Saturday we can...

01:18:48Hey, Patricia, um, ain't that spike over there?

01:18:50Where?

01:18:51I don't have a sign in there.

01:18:57What?

01:18:58Oh.

01:18:59No, Patricia, wait.

01:19:00What is it?

01:19:12Okay, you know what?

01:19:13You don't need to see that anymore.

01:19:17What?

01:19:18Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:19:22Hey, just come on.

01:19:28Wow, look who it is.

01:19:30Can I get your autograph?

01:19:37Look, why don't we just keep this to ourselves, all right?

01:19:42Too late, douchebag.

01:19:42Well, then monsters fuck off.

01:19:53Because it ain't your business anyways.

01:19:55Listen, you fucking cocksucker.

01:19:56You want to bang some fucking skank?

01:19:58Why don't you break up with Patricia first?

01:20:00Fuck you.

01:20:00I knew he had a girl.

01:20:01Hey.

01:20:01So what?

01:20:02He's with me now.

01:20:03Fuck do you care anyway?

01:20:04What the fuck is your problem, man?

01:20:14You want to do something about it?

01:20:17You better walk away, or I swear to God I'm going to fuck you.

01:20:20Make a move, nip-a-ring.

01:20:22I'm standing right the fuck here.

01:20:29Hey, get the fuck out.

01:20:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:20:33I'm sorry.

01:20:34It's a real man you got there, honey.

01:20:35Enjoy him.

01:20:38Not cool, pal.

01:20:38Treasure.

01:20:48Treasure.

01:21:08I'll be home again before you know it.

01:21:20Hey, you know what?

01:21:22I'm going to stay with you tonight.

01:21:24Okay?

01:21:24Don't argue with me about it, because I'm not going to take no for an answer.

01:21:27Okay?

01:21:28I'll cheer you up.

01:21:30I don't know.

01:21:30Hey, bro.

01:21:31Ice cream.

01:21:32Give me a second, okay?

01:21:33We'll get in our pajamas, and we'll stay on the sofa, and we'll run the first wives club.

01:21:36You'll be totally a bunch of this.

01:21:37Hey, Patricia.

01:21:38Hey.

01:21:42Hey.

01:21:45No matter what I always said in the past, you didn't deserve that in there.

01:21:53You okay?

01:21:58Wow.

01:22:01Look, it's in the front.

01:22:07What?

01:22:07I was...

01:22:08I was...

01:22:09I...

01:22:10I was there.

01:22:15So where are you going to take on those three guys?

01:22:19Are you kidding?

01:22:20Man, I was hoping Russell was in that joke there.

01:22:22I mean, I was right behind us.

01:22:23I was there.

01:22:24Yeah.

01:22:26What?

01:22:27I was...

01:22:27I was there?

01:22:28Bro, are you kidding me?

01:22:39Come on, you'll see me in five minutes.

01:22:40Let's go.

01:22:41All right, kiddo.

01:22:42Time to shine.

01:22:46Okay.

01:22:47Hey, I love you.

01:22:58I love you.

01:23:28We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of two lives as they are merged into one.

01:23:33Even though we join Kyle and Patricia in unity, individuality must never be lost but celebrated.

01:23:41Let it sit.

01:23:41I'm waiting for it to come.

01:24:00And I'm hoping for better times.

01:24:04And when it comes, I will open my mouth.

01:24:07And when it comes, I will make you cry.

01:24:11And I'm learning how to travel in time.

01:24:14And to make life the things I've gone wrong.

01:24:18And when it comes, I will open my mouth.

01:24:21And when it comes, I will open my mouth.

01:24:23And when it comes, I will open my mouth.

01:24:33And I will open my mouth.

01:24:35So, so, so baby.

01:24:37Cry

01:25:07You say left when I say right then

01:25:11You keep talking words and your tears fall down

01:25:15Every time we take some little breaks to make it alright

01:25:22You told me, listen carefully, don't be scared now

01:25:28Make your dreams belong where they can't fall down

01:25:32All these people left because they don't like what you say

01:25:39When you say

01:25:41Hold my hand, let's now fight

01:25:46We got so long left tonight

01:25:50All I want's to be a better man

01:25:56Hold my hand, squeeze it tight

01:26:02We got never left inside

01:26:06All I want's to be a better man

01:26:12A better man

01:26:16A better man

01:26:20A better man

01:26:24A better man

01:26:29When it hurts

01:26:36You feel alone

01:26:39You feel the broken have nowhere to go

01:26:45You get mad

01:26:50Oh, so sad

01:26:53You give up every little thing that you had

01:26:59When it feels like your bubbles burst

01:27:06It couldn't possibly get much worse

01:27:11You don't have to feel alone

01:27:16Cause where I am is always home

01:27:23You feel like you can't ask for more

01:27:29Even mercy's passed you by

01:27:37You can lay down on my floor

01:27:42Cause I know how it hurts

01:27:47When you cry

01:27:50When you bleed

01:27:51When you bleed

01:27:53You throw away every little thing that you need

01:27:59Don't give up

01:28:03Please don't fear

01:28:07Cause I will never not be here

01:28:13When it feels like you've been cursed

01:28:19And it couldn't possibly get much worse

01:28:25You don't have to turn to stone

01:28:30Cause where I am is always home

01:28:36Cause I will never be there

01:28:52You don't have to harm your feelings

01:28:54You don't have to damage

01:28:55Oh, so

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