00:00Good leaders don't just react, they respond.
00:02And how we respond to toxic people says a lot about us, not just about them.
00:08Toxic people exist everywhere, at work, in our families, even in our friend circles.
00:12They spread negativity, they drain energy, and if we're not careful, they pull us down to their level.
00:19But smart people, people who truly understand leadership, growth, and success, treat toxic people differently.
00:28Let me tell you a story.
00:29There was once a young leader I met, brilliant, talented, and driven, but he had one problem.
00:34He kept getting derailed by one toxic team member.
00:37This person gossiped, resisted change, and found a way to make everything about them.
00:41And every time they did, this leader reacted.
00:45He got frustrated.
00:46He argued.
00:47He let this toxic individual control his energy, his decisions, his mindset.
00:52Until one day, he made a shift.
00:54He realized something.
00:55Toxic people don't take power.
00:59We give it to them.
01:02Power is an interesting thing.
01:04Most people assume it's something others take from us.
01:07Something they steal.
01:09Something they force upon us.
01:11But the truth is, in most cases, power is something we give away.
01:15And this is especially true when dealing with toxic people.
01:19Toxic individuals thrive on control.
01:21They manipulate, provoke, and drain the energy of those around them.
01:25They create chaos, stir up conflict, and often leave people feeling frustrated, defensive, or even defeated.
01:31But here's what smart people understand.
01:33Toxic people don't take power.
01:35Or we give it to them.
01:36Think about the last time you encountered someone toxic.
01:40Maybe it was a co-worker who always found a way to criticize everything you did.
01:43Maybe it was a friend who constantly played the victim, making every situation about them.
01:48Or maybe it was a family member who knew exactly which buttons to press to make you feel small.
01:53What was your response?
01:55Did you argue?
01:57Did you defend yourself?
02:00Did you spend hours replaying the conversation in your head, wondering how you could have handled it differently?
02:04If so, you gave them power.
02:07See, power isn't just about authority or control.
02:09It's about influence.
02:11It's about how much space someone takes up in our minds.
02:13How much they affect our emotions.
02:15And how much they dictate our actions.
02:18The moment we allow a toxic person to shape our mood, consume our thoughts, or dictate our responses,
02:25we've handed them power they never actually had to begin with.
02:29Smart people recognize this.
02:31They don't allow themselves to be pulled into unnecessary battles.
02:35They don't waste energy on people who are committed to misunderstanding them.
02:40They don't react emotionally to every passive-aggressive comment,
02:43every attempt to provoke, or every effort to bring them down.
02:46Instead, they choose where their energy goes.
02:50One of the most powerful things we can do when dealing with toxic individuals is to pause.
02:56Not react.
02:57Not engage.
02:58Just pause.
02:59Because in that moment of stillness, we reclaim control.
03:04We remind ourselves that we don't have to play the game.
03:08We don't have to justify, argue, or defend.
03:11We don't have to prove anything to anyone who isn't genuinely invested in understanding us.
03:17Now, this doesn't mean ignoring every problem or pretending issues don't exist.
03:21It doesn't mean letting toxic behavior go unchecked.
03:25What it does mean is choosing our battles wisely.
03:29It means recognizing that not every insult needs a response.
03:32Not every argument deserves our participation, and not every toxic person is worth our attention.
03:41Toxic people want a reaction.
03:43They feed off of emotional responses.
03:45They want to see you upset, angry, or thrown off balance because it validates their sense of control.
03:50But when you remain calm, when you refuse to give them the emotional reaction they're looking for, they lose their power over you.
03:59They become frustrated because their tactics no longer work.
04:03This is why smart people approach toxic individuals with intentionality.
04:08They don't engage in pointless arguments.
04:10They set clear, firm boundaries.
04:12They focus on their own growth rather than trying to fix someone else's toxic patterns.
04:16And most importantly, they remind themselves that they are in control of their own energy.
04:21At the end of the day, power isn't something that can just be taken from us.
04:24It's something we allow.
04:25And the moment we recognize that, the moment we stop giving toxic people the control they seek, we free ourselves.
04:32Not by changing them, but by changing the way we respond to them.
04:37That is the true mark of wisdom.
04:41That is the real power.
04:42Toxic people are everywhere.
04:43They exist in workplaces, families, friendships, and even in social circles.
04:47They manipulate, criticize, create drama, and drain the energy of those around them.
04:51Many people believe that if they just say the right thing, explain themselves enough, or show enough kindness, they can change toxic individuals.
04:59But smart people know the truth.
05:01You can change toxic people.
05:03But you can control how you interact with them.
05:07This realization is freeing.
05:08It removes the pressure to fix people who don't want to be fixed.
05:13It eliminates the emotional exhaustion of trying to make someone see reason.
05:18One of the biggest mistakes people make when dealing with toxicity is believing they have to tolerate it.
05:23It refuses to grow.
05:24Maybe it's a friend who always plays the victim.
05:25People shift their focus to what they can control.
05:26Turning every situation into an emotional crisis.
05:28Their own reactions.
05:29Maybe it's a co-worker who constantly undermines others.
05:31Maybe it's a family member who is always negative, always criticizing, always making you feel small.
05:37The temptation is to believe that if you just explain things differently, if you just show them enough empathy, if you just try a little harder, they will change.
05:47But toxic people don't change unless they want to.
05:52And most of the time, they don't want to.
05:55Smart people accept this.
05:57They stop hoping for a different version of the same person.
05:59They recognize patterns, not promises.
06:02They don't fall for empty apologies or short-term changes that quickly revert back to toxic behaviors.
06:08Instead, they take control of what they can.
06:11Their response.
06:13The most powerful response to toxicity is non-engagement.
06:16Toxic individuals thrive on emotional reactions.
06:20They want to see you frustrated, upset, or defensive.
06:23They get satisfaction from knowing they can control your emotions.
06:26But when you refuse to react, when you remain calm, when you choose not to engage in their drama, you take away their power.
06:34This doesn't mean ignoring every problem.
06:37It doesn't mean letting people walk all over you.
06:40What it does mean is choosing your battles wisely.
06:42It means understanding that not every insult deserves a response, not every argument is worth having, and not every toxic person deserves your time.
06:53Setting boundaries is a key part of this.
06:55When dealing with toxic people, boundaries are essential.
06:58Maybe it's limiting conversations with a negative coworker.
07:00Maybe it's deciding not to answer calls from a friend who only brings drama.
07:04Maybe it's choosing not to engage in heated discussions with a family member who refuses to respect your opinions.
07:09Boundaries are not about being rude.
07:12They're about protecting your peace.
07:14Another crucial element is detachment.
07:18Smart people learn to emotionally detach from toxic individuals.
07:22This means not letting their words or actions affect your self-worth.
07:26It means realizing that their behavior is a reflection of them, not you.
07:31It means refusing to take their toxicity personally.
07:35This level of detachment takes practice, but it is incredibly powerful.
07:39It allows you to stay in control of your own emotions rather than letting toxic people manipulate them.
07:44It keeps you from getting pulled into unnecessary conflicts.
07:48And most importantly, it gives you the freedom to focus on the relationships and activities that truly bring you joy.
07:55At the end of the day, we can't control other people, but we can control how much access we give them to our minds, our energy, and our emotions.
08:03Smart people don't waste time trying to change toxic individuals.
08:08They accept them for who they are, but they also decide how much influence those people will have over their lives.
08:14By focusing on what they can control, their reactions, their boundaries, and their own growth,
08:22they free themselves from the exhausting cycle of trying to fix the unfixable.
08:26And in doing so, they create a life that is not only more peaceful, but also far more fulfilling.
08:34little bit too.
08:35something that is a personal thing that is still various forms, but also supporting those people.
08:40It's usually spot on time in time.
08:41You're anesthetism, you know?
08:42for you to the other people.
08:44You were up for your appearance, but you're doing really cool, but-
08:47You're doing really cool, but for sure, and for me, I'm going to keep you retired.
08:50And this guy has some kind of fun.
08:52That man has a lot of fun.
08:53You're going to be a fun part of all.
08:54I'll be very few friends today.
08:57I think that I don't think it is really...
08:58I'll be asleep in this coming soon.
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