Toxic people can drain your energy, destroy your focus, and test your patience — but Simon Sinek reveals how smart people deal with toxic people with calm, clarity, and confidence.
In this short yet powerful motivational speech, Simon explains how emotionally intelligent leaders handle negativity, set healthy boundaries, and maintain peace of mind. His advice will help you rise above drama and stay focused on what truly matters.
Watch till the end (08:34) — the final minute holds a life-changing message you don’t want to miss!
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction: The Toxic People Challenge 01:15 – Recognize Negative Energy 02:40 – How Smart People Stay Calm 04:15 – The Power of Setting Boundaries 06:10 – Turning Negativity into Strength 07:45 – Simon’s Final Message 08:34 – End
Disclaimer
This video is for educational and motivational purposes only. All rights belong to their respective owners (Simon Sinek and his team). Fair use under Section 107 of the Copyright Act for commentary, education, and inspiration.
00:02And how we respond to toxic people says a lot about us, not just about them.
00:08Toxic people exist everywhere, at work, in our families, even in our friend circles.
00:12They spread negativity, they drain energy, and if we're not careful, they pull us down to their level.
00:19But smart people, people who truly understand leadership, growth, and success, treat toxic people differently.
00:28Let me tell you a story.
00:29There was once a young leader I met, brilliant, talented, and driven, but he had one problem.
00:34He kept getting derailed by one toxic team member.
00:37This person gossiped, resisted change, and found a way to make everything about them.
00:41And every time they did, this leader reacted.
00:45He got frustrated.
00:46He argued.
00:47He let this toxic individual control his energy, his decisions, his mindset.
00:52Until one day, he made a shift.
00:54He realized something.
00:55Toxic people don't take power.
00:59We give it to them.
01:02Power is an interesting thing.
01:04Most people assume it's something others take from us.
01:07Something they steal.
01:09Something they force upon us.
01:11But the truth is, in most cases, power is something we give away.
01:15And this is especially true when dealing with toxic people.
01:19Toxic individuals thrive on control.
01:21They manipulate, provoke, and drain the energy of those around them.
01:25They create chaos, stir up conflict, and often leave people feeling frustrated, defensive, or even defeated.
01:31But here's what smart people understand.
01:33Toxic people don't take power.
01:35Or we give it to them.
01:36Think about the last time you encountered someone toxic.
01:40Maybe it was a co-worker who always found a way to criticize everything you did.
01:43Maybe it was a friend who constantly played the victim, making every situation about them.
01:48Or maybe it was a family member who knew exactly which buttons to press to make you feel small.
01:53What was your response?
01:55Did you argue?
01:57Did you defend yourself?
02:00Did you spend hours replaying the conversation in your head, wondering how you could have handled it differently?
02:04If so, you gave them power.
02:07See, power isn't just about authority or control.
02:09It's about influence.
02:11It's about how much space someone takes up in our minds.
02:13How much they affect our emotions.
02:15And how much they dictate our actions.
02:18The moment we allow a toxic person to shape our mood, consume our thoughts, or dictate our responses,
02:25we've handed them power they never actually had to begin with.
02:29Smart people recognize this.
02:31They don't allow themselves to be pulled into unnecessary battles.
02:35They don't waste energy on people who are committed to misunderstanding them.
02:40They don't react emotionally to every passive-aggressive comment,
02:43every attempt to provoke, or every effort to bring them down.
02:46Instead, they choose where their energy goes.
02:50One of the most powerful things we can do when dealing with toxic individuals is to pause.
02:56Not react.
02:57Not engage.
02:58Just pause.
02:59Because in that moment of stillness, we reclaim control.
03:04We remind ourselves that we don't have to play the game.
03:08We don't have to justify, argue, or defend.
03:11We don't have to prove anything to anyone who isn't genuinely invested in understanding us.
03:17Now, this doesn't mean ignoring every problem or pretending issues don't exist.
03:21It doesn't mean letting toxic behavior go unchecked.
03:25What it does mean is choosing our battles wisely.
03:29It means recognizing that not every insult needs a response.
03:32Not every argument deserves our participation, and not every toxic person is worth our attention.
03:41Toxic people want a reaction.
03:43They feed off of emotional responses.
03:45They want to see you upset, angry, or thrown off balance because it validates their sense of control.
03:50But when you remain calm, when you refuse to give them the emotional reaction they're looking for, they lose their power over you.
03:59They become frustrated because their tactics no longer work.
04:03This is why smart people approach toxic individuals with intentionality.
04:08They don't engage in pointless arguments.
04:10They set clear, firm boundaries.
04:12They focus on their own growth rather than trying to fix someone else's toxic patterns.
04:16And most importantly, they remind themselves that they are in control of their own energy.
04:21At the end of the day, power isn't something that can just be taken from us.
04:24It's something we allow.
04:25And the moment we recognize that, the moment we stop giving toxic people the control they seek, we free ourselves.
04:32Not by changing them, but by changing the way we respond to them.
04:37That is the true mark of wisdom.
04:41That is the real power.
04:42Toxic people are everywhere.
04:43They exist in workplaces, families, friendships, and even in social circles.
04:47They manipulate, criticize, create drama, and drain the energy of those around them.
04:51Many people believe that if they just say the right thing, explain themselves enough, or show enough kindness, they can change toxic individuals.
04:59But smart people know the truth.
05:01You can change toxic people.
05:03But you can control how you interact with them.
05:07This realization is freeing.
05:08It removes the pressure to fix people who don't want to be fixed.
05:13It eliminates the emotional exhaustion of trying to make someone see reason.
05:18One of the biggest mistakes people make when dealing with toxicity is believing they have to tolerate it.
05:23It refuses to grow.
05:24Maybe it's a friend who always plays the victim.
05:25People shift their focus to what they can control.
05:26Turning every situation into an emotional crisis.
05:28Their own reactions.
05:29Maybe it's a co-worker who constantly undermines others.
05:31Maybe it's a family member who is always negative, always criticizing, always making you feel small.
05:37The temptation is to believe that if you just explain things differently, if you just show them enough empathy, if you just try a little harder, they will change.
05:47But toxic people don't change unless they want to.
05:52And most of the time, they don't want to.
05:55Smart people accept this.
05:57They stop hoping for a different version of the same person.
05:59They recognize patterns, not promises.
06:02They don't fall for empty apologies or short-term changes that quickly revert back to toxic behaviors.
06:08Instead, they take control of what they can.
06:11Their response.
06:13The most powerful response to toxicity is non-engagement.
06:16Toxic individuals thrive on emotional reactions.
06:20They want to see you frustrated, upset, or defensive.
06:23They get satisfaction from knowing they can control your emotions.
06:26But when you refuse to react, when you remain calm, when you choose not to engage in their drama, you take away their power.
06:34This doesn't mean ignoring every problem.
06:37It doesn't mean letting people walk all over you.
06:40What it does mean is choosing your battles wisely.
06:42It means understanding that not every insult deserves a response, not every argument is worth having, and not every toxic person deserves your time.
06:53Setting boundaries is a key part of this.
06:55When dealing with toxic people, boundaries are essential.
06:58Maybe it's limiting conversations with a negative coworker.
07:00Maybe it's deciding not to answer calls from a friend who only brings drama.
07:04Maybe it's choosing not to engage in heated discussions with a family member who refuses to respect your opinions.
07:09Boundaries are not about being rude.
07:12They're about protecting your peace.
07:14Another crucial element is detachment.
07:18Smart people learn to emotionally detach from toxic individuals.
07:22This means not letting their words or actions affect your self-worth.
07:26It means realizing that their behavior is a reflection of them, not you.
07:31It means refusing to take their toxicity personally.
07:35This level of detachment takes practice, but it is incredibly powerful.
07:39It allows you to stay in control of your own emotions rather than letting toxic people manipulate them.
07:44It keeps you from getting pulled into unnecessary conflicts.
07:48And most importantly, it gives you the freedom to focus on the relationships and activities that truly bring you joy.
07:55At the end of the day, we can't control other people, but we can control how much access we give them to our minds, our energy, and our emotions.
08:03Smart people don't waste time trying to change toxic individuals.
08:08They accept them for who they are, but they also decide how much influence those people will have over their lives.
08:14By focusing on what they can control, their reactions, their boundaries, and their own growth,
08:22they free themselves from the exhausting cycle of trying to fix the unfixable.
08:26And in doing so, they create a life that is not only more peaceful, but also far more fulfilling.
08:34little bit too.
08:35something that is a personal thing that is still various forms, but also supporting those people.
08:40It's usually spot on time in time.
08:41You're anesthetism, you know?
08:42for you to the other people.
08:44You were up for your appearance, but you're doing really cool, but-
08:47You're doing really cool, but for sure, and for me, I'm going to keep you retired.
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