- 3 months ago
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00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:29Jesus!
00:01:56We've never seen him in real life, though.
00:01:58Oh, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04Oh, I'm not standing out here. It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08Somebody waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday. He might be here today.
00:02:12Oh, no. Really, Dad's standing here.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:14We're supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16Oh, wait.
00:02:17Please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:26I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:32Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36Who are being stared at?
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41Don't fancy yours.
00:02:45Which is mine?
00:02:47Any.
00:02:48Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs.
00:02:49Thanks.
00:02:53Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:56Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad.
00:03:02With all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:10I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:14Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you, er, hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Mallorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41May only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:42It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:54I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:03We were going for lunch.
00:04:05Thank you, Father.
00:04:08Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Mallorca?
00:04:11It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm, er, Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry, love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:52Every single time.
00:04:54Every single time.
00:05:01First you're up there, on another plane, and then you're nowhere.
00:05:08And the tears are raining down, it's a run around.
00:05:19Love and rainy weather, surely can get you down.
00:05:27Not going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:38That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:40For what?
00:05:41Cutting a rug.
00:05:44Pardon?
00:05:45Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:47It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:48Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:50Right?
00:05:51What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:53Right.
00:05:53Right on.
00:05:56You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:57Tonight.
00:05:58Tomorrow night.
00:05:59Every night.
00:06:02They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:03Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:06Really.
00:06:06Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:09Hustle.
00:06:11It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:14We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:06:18They do their own thing.
00:06:19The usual 1,300 weight?
00:06:22Yes, please.
00:06:24Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:27And fought for.
00:06:29Full-page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:35I'm not hungry.
00:06:37What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:42I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:03I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:06No, really.
00:07:08I really do.
00:07:09Some people don't.
00:07:10I do.
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:20Paul McCartney who?
00:07:21He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:24And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:27I sacrifice too much for your six-o levels.
00:07:29Five.
00:07:30You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:34I never touched you.
00:07:35Terrific self-control.
00:07:37I don't know.
00:07:40What did you say your name was?
00:07:43Mind you, just a weekend I do with you, Paul.
00:08:05Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:07A disgusting one.
00:08:14Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:16Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:28It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:36It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:41Oh, Sandra.
00:09:05It is almost blonde in this light.
00:09:07What's wrong?
00:09:14Just being brave.
00:09:16What about?
00:09:17Ending it all.
00:09:20Before we hurt each other too much.
00:09:23It's our first date.
00:09:27I've probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I?
00:09:31Not yet.
00:09:32Not if your parents aren't back till midnight.
00:09:34Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?
00:09:41Straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot you went.
00:09:44Overnight.
00:09:46That was when you were too young for this sort of thing.
00:09:49It's artistic, Mother.
00:09:51Like your Tuttenhamen butter dish.
00:09:53What?
00:10:04Got it.
00:10:05Got what?
00:10:06You now ask if I never want to see you again.
00:10:09I say I do.
00:10:11You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:10:14How about Sunday, half seven, outside Central Library?
00:10:17No, I don't.
00:10:19Tomorrow, half seven, outside Central Library.
00:10:23Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:27It does not.
00:10:29I thought it did.
00:10:31Not till you've unfastened the press, stud.
00:10:33I can see her doing your ironing, and cooking, and cleaning.
00:10:39You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime.
00:10:41I don't intend to marry her, Mother.
00:10:44In case it interferes with my career.
00:10:46We're just good friends.
00:10:48Good night.
00:10:49Miss Bardot.
00:11:05Marry me.
00:11:09You know what they say?
00:11:12Once you've had a Manchester lad, you never touch anything else.
00:11:14About time and all.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:33Peace, man.
00:11:36Have a good time last night.
00:11:38Great.
00:11:38Is this you?
00:11:40Satisfied.
00:11:41I say it in for a change.
00:11:44Did you get much?
00:11:47Did you?
00:11:52Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:55Not that they have done.
00:11:57They stayed in for a change instead.
00:12:14Well, now it's beauty sleep's done nothing for her.
00:12:44Snooty old bag.
00:12:50Trendy.
00:12:51Crimson shoes with bottle green socks.
00:12:54Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights.
00:12:57Still, who else would have him?
00:13:00Anyway, they're all the same in the dark.
00:13:03Rumour has it.
00:13:04Different girl every night.
00:13:12It's all the type.
00:13:15Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:18Bet we lose.
00:13:193-1.
00:13:21Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:13:24At least I've got me proud.
00:13:26Oh, hello.
00:13:26Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:31Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, normie.
00:13:34Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah.
00:13:36Not especially, no.
00:13:38Are you going that?
00:13:40Yeah.
00:13:40Well, um, no.
00:13:43I'll, I'll, I'll sort of, um...
00:13:44Going to the football match?
00:13:46Are you?
00:13:46Shopping.
00:13:47I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:56I am.
00:13:56Which?
00:13:57Which are you?
00:13:57Any.
00:13:58I am.
00:14:07See you then.
00:14:08Tonight?
00:14:09Pardon?
00:14:10Oh, I...
00:14:11All right, then.
00:14:13Right.
00:14:17Super socks.
00:14:24Did you see that?
00:14:26They're all on drugs.
00:14:27The lot of them.
00:14:28They score?
00:14:47Losing.
00:14:473-1.
00:14:48Six in. 3-1.
00:14:50Excuse me, I...
00:15:20I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:24Ah.
00:15:28Hi.
00:15:30Hello, mate.
00:15:32Peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:36Been anywhere controversial?
00:15:38Pictures. The boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim. I'm just going to the...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um...
00:15:48You know.
00:15:52You know.
00:15:54Oh.
00:15:56What do you, uh...
00:15:58What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:00She's a...
00:16:02Fair sort of bird.
00:16:04Sort of.
00:16:06She's all right.
00:16:08I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:10Geoffrey, she's a bird.
00:16:12You having a coffee with us?
00:16:14No thanks, kid. Neville's rabbinous.
00:16:16You've just eaten.
00:16:18Oh, of course, yeah. Sorry.
00:16:20You see, what I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:22By implication.
00:16:24Probably by implication.
00:16:26Was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgement.
00:16:30You see.
00:16:32Yes.
00:16:34Was he the errand boy?
00:16:36Was he the errand boy?
00:16:38Ken Thingy.
00:16:40He directed it.
00:16:42Oh, yes.
00:16:44I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:16:46Probably.
00:16:48You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:16:50Well, I'm probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:16:52It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:16:54And you talk to me the whole way.
00:16:56I'd never talk to myself.
00:16:58What do you think?
00:17:00I'd never talk to him.
00:17:02I'd never talk to him.
00:17:04I'd never talk to him.
00:17:05I'd never talk to him.
00:17:06I'd never talk to him.
00:17:08I'd never talk to him.
00:17:10I'd never talk to him.
00:17:11I'd never talk to him.
00:17:12Yes.
00:17:13Was he the errand boy?
00:17:15from the cinema and you talk to me the whole way like a person other boys seem
00:17:23to have one-track minds these days sex marriage the number of boys that asked
00:17:30me to marry them a couple of dates and how they want to get married I want to
00:17:35live a bit before I get married I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about
00:17:39it get married hmm no actually I find girls and most girls that is a bit obsessed
00:17:53these days not marriage no sex
00:18:00sex that's what I said oh well I'm not like that not person felt motivated no
00:18:12did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol
00:18:28Ken Russell yeah
00:18:37this is it
00:18:43I won't come in with it being our first date no anyway my mom's gone to bed
00:18:57we'd be on our own is that a reason for me not coming in though yes Jeffrey
00:19:04nice house thank you 25 year mortgage
00:19:19well thanks for seeing me home
00:19:26funny isn't it first date with someone it always leads to one of three things either nothing or something or everything
00:19:34well don't think about Percy filth at this stage Peryl
00:19:41I'm not
00:19:43no I'm not
00:19:47night night night god bless
00:19:54I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females
00:20:02what is it three two seven double four two one the easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five which is two less than seven then two fours and half of four which is two and half of two which is one
00:20:17um but you mustn't ring me if you don't want no but you can if you do do you want me to not if you'd rather not three two seven double four two one
00:20:29good night
00:20:59oh
00:21:01well hello mrs. Battersby Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea
00:21:04oh they all have a past life flashed before me then
00:21:07can't be mother's day you'd have forgotten
00:21:13has there been any clips
00:21:16mom I want the benefit of your experience
00:21:19what do you think of Andy Warhol
00:21:21what do you think of Andy Warhol
00:21:23you see Geoffrey has this theory that by implication
00:21:27who's Geoffrey
00:21:28of course Geoffrey knows about these things
00:21:30these things
00:21:32everything
00:21:33who's Geoffrey
00:21:34he's fantastically intelligent
00:21:36see Geoffrey's idea
00:21:38Bella who's Geoffrey
00:21:40oh no one
00:21:43no one's special
00:21:48his name's Geoffrey
00:21:53his name's Geoffrey
00:21:59how did this Beryl Bird turn out last night then
00:22:01what Beryl Bird
00:22:03I told him
00:22:04did she uh
00:22:05did she uh
00:22:06what
00:22:07did she uh
00:22:08what
00:22:09wow
00:22:13she doesn't then
00:22:16you know listen dear
00:22:18I said
00:22:19how about Sandra
00:22:27chips
00:22:28jam sod
00:22:34not seen him tonight then
00:22:36who
00:22:43I've rather better things to do thank you
00:22:47said he was no one special
00:22:53said he was no one special
00:22:58got a phone here
00:23:01why
00:23:03they haven't have they
00:23:05do you want to get some nookie lined up or something
00:23:08if I did do you think I'd be playing darts with you two
00:23:10look are you fed up here
00:23:13are you
00:23:14are you
00:23:15we'll split after this game
00:23:16anything you say
00:23:17and go for a few of the king's head
00:23:18great
00:23:21and that ends our pro
00:23:23well
00:23:24Monday tomorrow
00:23:25hallelujah
00:23:26pardon
00:23:27I don't know what you're paying for that phone but whatever it is you're being done
00:23:31goodnight
00:23:32goodnight
00:23:33goodnight
00:23:34goodnight
00:23:35goodnight
00:23:36goodnight
00:23:37goodnight
00:23:38goodnight
00:23:39goodnight
00:23:59goodnight
00:24:01goodnight
00:24:03my
00:24:04Chalton for Pope. Long may it reign. Amen.
00:24:14What's going on? Pounds up again.
00:24:18Oh, God. Today's special. Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:24Suddenly everyone's going on holiday. So does.
00:24:28Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:34Why do we always do that? 93 times a day.
00:24:50We never see anything.
00:25:04Only one morning just as the sun was rising. I heard the maiden singing in the valley.
00:25:16My typing not disturbing your singing, I hope. See Geoffrey on Sunday.
00:25:20Oh, Geoffrey. That Neville's the greatest.
00:25:26Is he? Dishy, or is he? Dishy.
00:25:34He never promised he's going to take us to this dream. I'm considering packing Geoffrey in.
00:25:38One date was enough. Why?
00:25:42He's cancer and I'm Libra. Is that bad?
00:25:46Hopeless.
00:25:48Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:00Five. Five. Which is... Which is...
00:26:04Three and two is five. Which is two less than seven.
00:26:08Which is...
00:26:10Five.
00:26:12I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:16Bank clocks.
00:26:18Your lot.
00:26:20Football supporters.
00:26:22Hippies.
00:26:24Oh. My lot.
00:26:26At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:36It will be 7.22 and 50 seconds.
00:26:40That's it then.
00:26:42Fate.
00:26:44All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:48So what?
00:26:50Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:52Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:56Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:22It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:27Fantastic.
00:27:32I want to know all about you.
00:27:35That's what it's all about.
00:27:39For example, with things in common already.
00:27:41Definitely.
00:27:45Like what?
00:27:46We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:51Right.
00:27:55And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:02No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:07Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:09Istanbul?
00:28:10Was it beyond belief?
00:28:12I don't know.
00:28:13I was only three.
00:28:16Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:22Sometimes.
00:28:23I do.
00:28:26What now?
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Just...
00:28:31Just sometimes.
00:28:35Yes, I do.
00:28:39Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:42In getting to know others.
00:28:43Hmm.
00:28:46He was lithe and easy-limbed, his stride quietly casual, his eyes clear and confident, and his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:03You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:07Really?
00:29:08You know, lopsided.
00:29:10I don't think I have.
00:29:12It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:14See?
00:29:15Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:16Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:18He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:20It must be marvellous, being a man.
00:29:22It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:23Men can do anything.
00:29:24Men can do anything.
00:29:25Conquer Everest.
00:29:26Do heart transplants.
00:29:27Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:28Anything!
00:29:29Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:30It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:31Read any women's words.
00:29:32It must be marvellous, being a man.
00:29:34It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything.
00:29:37Conquer Everest.
00:29:38Do heart transplants.
00:29:40Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:43Anything!
00:29:44Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:45It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:46Read any women's magazine.
00:29:47It's good for theirs, too.
00:29:48I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:29:50I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:29:51All Saturdays.
00:29:52Beryl.
00:29:53Oh, Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:54It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:56Read any women's magazine.
00:29:57It's good for theirs, too.
00:29:58I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:29:59I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:00All Saturdays.
00:30:02Beryl.
00:30:03Oh, Beryl.
00:30:04Oh, Geoffrey bobblesbombo.
00:30:06Oh, Beryl.
00:30:07Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:08Oh, Beryl.
00:30:09Oh, Beryl.
00:30:10Oh, Geoffrey bobblesbombo.
00:30:12Oh, Beryl.
00:30:14Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:15Oh, Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:17Oh, Beryl.
00:30:18Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl.
00:30:22Harold! Are you all right? What exactly happened? Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just had a sharp achak of dramatic irony. Pardon?
00:30:35Come back. They're better. It's better. I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to pour. It's not!
00:30:48Urgh!
00:30:52It's only the angels crying.
00:30:56I know how they feel.
00:30:58Well, don't blame me. I haven't done anything.
00:31:01That's true!
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl. I have apologised.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:12It must be a bad line. I can't hear you. You'd better apologise again.
00:31:18I apologise again.
00:31:20Gosh, this lousy line!
00:31:23I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday?
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:31Is that who I think it is?
00:31:33No, dear.
00:31:34Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:47Sardine sandwich.
00:31:48Is it all sardine?
00:31:49Yeah.
00:31:50She's got her own trawler.
00:31:51Isn't it awful?
00:31:52What?
00:31:53I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:31:54What's happening in the world? I blame the politicians.
00:31:56What for?
00:31:57For what's happening in the world?
00:31:58Talk to her.
00:31:59Can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:00Tasty.
00:32:01Very in oil.
00:32:02Nice in oil.
00:32:03She's got a bad leg.
00:32:04Nice in oil.
00:32:05She's got a bad leg.
00:32:06Can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:07Tasty.
00:32:08Oh, I have this little baker down the road. He does something with the bleach.
00:32:10You got it.
00:32:11пуль and don't make it you,
00:32:13You can't wake up phys.
00:32:14Like us.
00:32:15You're so funny.
00:32:16There's a different difference in the world.
00:32:18Look at what you're having.
00:32:19I am not viewing with.
00:32:20And I'm not viewing with your camera tonight.
00:32:22Look at the camera.
00:32:23How are you?
00:32:24I am.
00:32:25Yeah.
00:32:26I am.
00:32:27I am.
00:32:28You are?
00:32:29I'm not.
00:32:30I am.
00:32:31I am.
00:32:32You're not.
00:32:33You're not.
00:32:34What?
00:32:35I am.
00:32:36I am.
00:32:37yes
00:32:40i can't do long conversations about sardines so much as your mind goes blank
00:32:51start thinking about life after death
00:32:56oh that neville honestly number of hearts he must have broken
00:33:05every girl in manchester nearly jeffrey definitely has probably even more
00:33:12air hostesses all sorts tell me about your terrible past jeffrey
00:33:20i haven't had one yet white man speak with forked tongue
00:33:24actually i was hoping more for a terrible future
00:33:27wow is that the time at this moment in time what have i done
00:33:37is neville the insanely jealous type right in the slightest
00:33:41you're lucky why is jeffrey wow you're not jealous of all my ex flames are you
00:33:49of course not why should i be please stop interrogating me jeffrey forget it
00:33:54that's all in the past
00:33:57they're nothing to be jealous about
00:34:00who needs drama
00:34:04so i shouted back at her no shop assistant shouts at me i shouted
00:34:10in the end neville nearly bolted me for swearing
00:34:13he thumped you
00:34:15walloped you on
00:34:17no
00:34:18i said nearly
00:34:20you never thumped me will you like neville does sandra
00:34:26she adores it
00:34:28of course not
00:34:29no
00:34:32jeffrey percy filth isn't the only thing in life
00:34:37isn't even one of the things in mind
00:34:38you used to talk to me
00:34:40all right let's talk
00:34:41jeffrey i've just had the most super idea
00:34:48why is your mum going out
00:34:50may as well pack in really
00:34:55why
00:34:57why not
00:35:00good thinking
00:35:03thanks for a stimulating few weeks
00:35:12you too it was real
00:35:13psychedelic
00:35:15you can keep me grateful dead lp
00:35:17was scratched anyway
00:35:18it's been a gas
00:35:20groovy
00:35:22i won't wave from the window
00:35:25no i won't look back anyway
00:35:27good
00:35:28it's been a gas
00:35:29you've said that once
00:35:31you're well red barrel
00:35:41there's plenty more fish in the sea
00:35:43about three very lonely sardines
00:35:47mother please don't try raising one eyebrow at me
00:35:53you know you can't do it
00:35:54you'll never thong me will you jeffrey
00:36:02ow
00:36:03feral i've just had the most super idea
00:36:06are we going to put it up
00:36:08no
00:36:09we're going to pack it in
00:36:10don't say that please don't say that
00:36:12that
00:36:13sandra
00:36:16sandra
00:36:17sandra
00:36:17you're sandra
00:36:19mine
00:36:20two months
00:36:24two months nine days
00:36:26is she positive
00:36:29the test was
00:36:30what are you going to do
00:36:32she'll think of something
00:36:35sandra it's stupendous
00:36:37congratulations
00:36:40i hope you'll both be very happy
00:36:42oh thanks kid
00:36:43sandra i don't know how you do it
00:36:46often
00:37:07thank you
00:37:09i'll love you
00:37:14i'll love you
00:37:15back to the end
00:37:17and i'll love you
00:37:20thanks
00:37:22you
00:37:25you
00:37:29you
00:37:31you
00:37:33you
00:37:33you
00:37:35you
00:37:36John for Pope, Longmare Wren.
00:37:50Aren't you, uh...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:55And you're, uh...
00:37:57That's right.
00:37:59Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting my parents.
00:38:02Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:04That's pretty incredible.
00:38:05You're Mummy and Daddy.
00:38:08Uh...
00:38:10Oh, hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:13If I'm in the mood.
00:38:16Where you are.
00:38:18Depends where you take me.
00:38:30All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:33Roland.
00:38:33Is that I found him intellectually unaware...
00:38:37And psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:39It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:43And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:46Didn't she tell you?
00:38:47I don't work there anymore.
00:38:49I packed her in.
00:38:51I packed her in.
00:38:58Did she turn you on?
00:39:01Beryl?
00:39:02Yeah.
00:39:06I hadn't really looked.
00:39:09Seen one, you seen them all.
00:39:11Not quite all.
00:39:14I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:23It must be my birthday.
00:39:28Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.
00:39:31Oh, I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:37They aren't all after Percy, Philse.
00:39:41Yes, they are.
00:39:42Mmm.
00:39:44Oh, you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:46Was I?
00:39:48Mmm.
00:39:50Terrific self-control.
00:39:51Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:57Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:02I happen to be interested in having early nights and writing poetry in bed with me Moe Felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's run out of ink.
00:40:07I used it for me laundry list.
00:40:09My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm.
00:40:14Mmm.
00:40:15Mmm, please.
00:40:16Mmm, don't.
00:40:18Please.
00:40:19You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:23Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:33It is me birthday.
00:40:34What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:40I don't believe that question.
00:40:42You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:45I was 11 years old.
00:40:47He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:41:04What's your name again?
00:41:20What's yours?
00:41:22Rock.
00:41:23That's not your real name.
00:41:26No.
00:41:27Stephen.
00:41:28Mmm.
00:41:29God, that turns me on.
00:41:32Mmm.
00:41:33Mmm.
00:41:33When I first met you in the street,
00:41:40I thought,
00:41:41just a quiet drink and a chat.
00:41:43Shows you the art of conversation ain't dead.
00:41:45Mmm.
00:41:46Mmm.
00:41:48Mmm.
00:41:49Don't move a muscle.
00:41:52However gorgeous.
00:41:55Mmm.
00:41:56Mmm.
00:41:57Mmm.
00:41:57Mmm.
00:41:57Mmm.
00:42:03Mmm.
00:42:19Testing.
00:42:20Testing.
00:42:21Oh, Geoffrey Millyup returns to the day.
00:42:23I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself.
00:42:25I'm fed up.
00:42:45Who are you?
00:42:46Who are you?
00:42:49What are you fed up about?
00:42:51Teachers don't have to do homework.
00:42:54No.
00:42:55They just mark it.
00:42:57Anyone can mark it.
00:42:59They've got the answers.
00:43:05Do you know it's after two o'clock?
00:43:08What's he doing here, then?
00:43:12Well, this is your Uncle Stephen.
00:43:16This is my revolting brother, Jeremy.
00:43:22How do you do?
00:43:23Don't my mum and dad know he's here.
00:43:25Jeremy, bed.
00:43:27I could always wake them up and tell them.
00:43:29Jeremy, little boys need sleep.
00:43:33Even big astronauts.
00:43:36Do you know where babies come from?
00:43:41Do you?
00:43:43Say no.
00:43:44No.
00:43:45I do.
00:43:45Say yes.
00:43:47Shall I tell you?
00:43:48He knows.
00:43:48The man has this male organ and some blood cells and erectile glands.
00:43:53And there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has as well.
00:43:58And they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has.
00:44:03Who told you that?
00:44:04Then they go to the fallopian tubes after that.
00:44:07One of them fertilises with the female egg.
00:44:10The others don't bother.
00:44:12Anyway, that's what you have to do.
00:44:14Then you have a baby.
00:44:16Did they teach you that at school?
00:44:19They do woodwork in the next class.
00:44:20People can only make babies at certain times of the year.
00:44:25But animals, like dogs and cats and rats, I think, do it all the time.
00:44:31No, that's people.
00:44:35What is?
00:44:38Well, people do it all the time.
00:44:44Whenever they feel like it.
00:44:50In the next class, you can do metalwork if you don't like woodwork.
00:44:55Good night, Jeremy.
00:44:5825p?
00:45:0050.
00:45:0250.
00:45:12Good night, Uncle Stephen.
00:45:20Would you care for a government health warning?
00:45:34Hey, Veronica!
00:45:36Yes?
00:45:37Who the hell's Uncle Stephen at 10 past 2 in the morning?
00:45:39A friend of Jeremy's.
00:45:41He's going now.
00:45:44Good night, love.
00:45:48We would have done that, wouldn't we?
00:45:49And how.
00:45:54You can't win them all, can you?
00:45:56Anyway, do you good going without for a change.
00:46:05Still, there's always another day.
00:46:07Tomorrow?
00:46:08No.
00:46:10Tomorrow's another day.
00:46:11Shh.
00:46:12Not unless you happen to be in Plymouth.
00:46:15Where?
00:46:16I'm joining the Wrens for three years.
00:46:19What Wrens?
00:46:22The Royal Navy's Wrens.
00:46:26This time tomorrow, I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors.
00:46:31I hope I like it.
00:46:32Well, thanks for nearly everything.
00:46:41We definitely would have done, wouldn't we?
00:46:42Well, obviously.
00:46:44Well, we're as good as dead, in a way, really.
00:46:47Almost.
00:46:48Just keep telling yourself and we will have.
00:46:50Only better.
00:46:52Good night, love.
00:46:53Try a barrel.
00:46:55Morning, previous generation.
00:47:19What's for breakfast?
00:47:31You knew it was your mother's birthday.
00:47:34Now, what we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof?
00:47:37I'm sorry, Mum.
00:47:39I'll take you out another night.
00:47:40Something cropped up.
00:47:41Like what?
00:47:43Dad, you understand.
00:47:47I don't, Geoffrey.
00:47:49Well, you always say you do.
00:47:51Geoffrey, you're at it every night.
00:47:54Yes, Dad.
00:47:55And we don't complain.
00:47:56No, Dad.
00:47:56Well, last night was different.
00:47:59I knew you'd understand.
00:48:26I knew you'd understand.
00:48:30Charlton for Pope.
00:48:31Long me reign.
00:48:32Amen.
00:48:33What's going on?
00:48:35Pounds down again.
00:48:36Up and down like a pair of knickers.
00:48:38You should know.
00:48:40Or me.
00:48:42Know what I mean?
00:48:44What a night.
00:48:46Wow.
00:48:48A lot.
00:48:50Including action replays in slow motion.
00:48:53Hey, lads.
00:48:57I picked up a bit of spare last night.
00:48:59Who didn't?
00:49:00No, it's true.
00:49:03Yes, Geoffrey.
00:49:04It is.
00:49:06Yes, Geoffrey.
00:49:12Bloody is.
00:49:16Poor Geoffrey.
00:49:17Beryl, please.
00:49:18It's Neville's engagement party as well.
00:49:20You had to invite him.
00:49:22He'll see me.
00:49:24It's cruel.
00:49:25He'll see other girls.
00:49:27I shan't take him back, Sandra.
00:49:30I shan't.
00:49:31It's been two weeks.
00:49:33He may have got over you by now.
00:49:36Don't know much about men, do you, love?
00:49:38It was doing him a kindness, really.
00:50:04Finally splitting up.
00:50:07He only had one ambition in life.
00:50:10Send my knickers to Oxfam.
00:50:16Good job she hasn't joined the rent.
00:50:18The entire Navy had gone strike.
00:50:20I expect he's sorry now.
00:50:24I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't.
00:50:28She might have changed, of course.
00:50:30If she has, I might let her have the old orgy now and again.
00:50:32He's got to accept we've finally split up.
00:50:36Otherwise, I definitely won't take him back.
00:50:42Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:50:45At least I've got me pride.
00:50:46I left with Beryl, baby.
00:50:50Oh, hi.
00:50:51Didn't see you.
00:50:51No, nor me.
00:50:54And how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on, then?
00:50:57United.
00:50:58We're winning every game now.
00:51:00Oh, good.
00:51:02And what's new with Geoffrey, then?
00:51:04Er, I asked you what was new with you.
00:51:11Yes, I did.
00:51:16Did you?
00:51:17Need I say more?
00:51:20Pardon?
00:51:21And how's Beryl, baby, getting on, then?
00:51:24Geoffrey, I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl, baby.
00:51:28It isn't like you.
00:51:29Say that again.
00:51:31Beryl, baby.
00:51:31What's your name, handsome?
00:51:36You laugh.
00:51:38Everybody laughs.
00:51:39It's the story of my life.
00:51:41You tell it like it is, Chuck.
00:51:50She's put on an act.
00:51:53What do you care?
00:51:55I don't have a baby.
00:52:01Is she going to get into bed with him now?
00:52:06Probably.
00:52:10Geoffrey always looks half asleep these days.
00:52:13Well, it's very exhausting.
00:52:16It is.
00:52:19Working in a bank.
00:52:20I had this bad seat, this chick, and decided to split.
00:52:33So I cut out, man, like there's no tomorrow.
00:52:39This cat gets it together where he's at, man.
00:52:42Lots of beautiful bag, baby.
00:52:47So if you want a piece of the action,
00:52:50don't cool it.
00:52:53Dig?
00:52:56Hmm?
00:52:58Sorry, I no understand English.
00:53:07Gesundheit.
00:53:07I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one.
00:53:13She has.
00:53:15And which is her husband?
00:53:17Neither.
00:53:22It's warming up, isn't it?
00:53:31Great beat, isn't it?
00:53:34Great to dance to.
00:53:35Do you agree that life's an onion?
00:53:44Pardon?
00:53:44If so, what's death?
00:53:47Erm.
00:53:49A banana.
00:53:52Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.
00:53:56Have you read Schopenhauer's concept of existence?
00:54:00Erm.
00:54:02No.
00:54:02But I've seen the film.
00:54:05Are you married?
00:54:08No.
00:54:09Grab yourself an adage.
00:54:11Marriage is a cabbage.
00:54:14Are you a poet?
00:54:16Never ask the questions.
00:54:18Ask the answers.
00:54:19You are a poet.
00:54:22To any manager, Marks and Spencers.
00:54:24Yes.
00:54:25What's that?
00:54:27I really dirt you.
00:54:30Now he's taking his clothes off.
00:54:34What's on ITV?
00:54:36This.
00:54:38What's on BBC?
00:54:42Cassian Orbe.
00:54:43What's that like?
00:54:47This.
00:54:48Oh, come on now.
00:54:50You know that's not where it's at.
00:54:52Let's get this.
00:54:54What's the word?
00:54:55Let's get it clear.
00:54:57Let's get down to the real nitty grittiesville.
00:55:00OK?
00:55:09Women's lip is not about burning bras.
00:55:13Papers, yeah.
00:55:15What papers?
00:55:16A marriage certificate.
00:55:18A dog's license.
00:55:19Whatever you prefer to call it.
00:55:21Look, let's be basic about this, Enid.
00:55:23All girls want marriage.
00:55:25And a wide wedding.
00:55:26Really basic.
00:55:27You want to be really basic.
00:55:29Utterly basic.
00:55:30Balls.
00:55:32Grass?
00:55:35Enid, when Sandra says every girl, she means most girls.
00:55:39Well, like herself.
00:55:41Not me, of course, because I incredibly value my independence.
00:55:44But most girls definitely want...
00:55:46Balls!
00:55:47If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to...
00:55:51I'm not recourseing to anything.
00:55:53I'm merely telling you what girls want.
00:55:55What?
00:55:55Balls!
00:55:56Balls!
00:55:57Would you please stop saying that?
00:56:00You believe in free love, right?
00:56:02Wrong!
00:56:02I believe in free everything.
00:56:04Freedom from all male chauvinists.
00:56:06Pig domination.
00:56:07Honestly, don't you understand?
00:56:09Excuse me, you've got your hand on me.
00:56:10If we're liberated society for the future, I'm sure.
00:56:12No, thank you.
00:56:13Excuse me, excuse me, you've got your hand on me.
00:56:15No!
00:56:16Ah!
00:56:16Oh, sorry.
00:56:19Well, I'm sorry.
00:56:20It's all right.
00:56:21Oh, gee.
00:56:22It's a pleasure.
00:56:23Grass?
00:56:24Geoffrey, you've knocked it.
00:56:25Why not?
00:56:26I said, don't you, not to smoke it.
00:56:37Oh, wow.
00:56:39We're as liberated as you, Enid.
00:56:42We've equal importance as individuals.
00:56:45Neither of us is boss.
00:56:46It just doesn't arise.
00:56:48We'll make some coffee, Kate.
00:56:50Yes.
00:56:50You see, what we believe is...
00:56:52You see...
00:56:56Well, one.
00:56:58I can see there's only one way to get through.
00:57:05What are you doing?
00:57:06Lighting everybody's fire.
00:57:11Burn my bra.
00:57:16Right.
00:57:17That's it.
00:57:18Finished.
00:57:19The end.
00:57:20Full stop.
00:57:22We've finally split up.
00:57:24Neville, Sandra wants you.
00:57:26I should imagine.
00:57:29Sad, isn't it?
00:57:33Pathetic.
00:57:38Well, I can't follow plays these days.
00:57:41It's just show in real life, that's all.
00:57:48I once thought I'd found her.
00:57:51A perfect girl.
00:57:52Red hair.
00:57:55Not too skinny.
00:57:58Very gentle and shy.
00:58:02Passionate when roused.
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:04I should pack me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick.
00:58:09You're very sweet, Roland.
00:58:12I've always thought you were.
00:58:17Did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin?
00:58:21It's just I'm a bit tired.
00:58:22No, it's nice.
00:58:23I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:24I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:28I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:29Oh, sorry.
00:58:29I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:34Do you know...
00:58:35Do you know...
00:58:35What, Beryl?
00:58:35She can ask me anything.
00:58:36Do you know where Jeffrey's got to?
00:58:37Do you know where Jeffrey's got to?
00:58:38Hmm.
00:58:39He's upstairs, I think.
00:58:41He's upstairs, I think.
00:58:42Come on.
00:58:43Come on.
00:58:44Come on.
00:58:45Come on.
00:58:46Come on.
00:58:47Come on.
00:58:48Come on.
00:58:49Come on.
00:58:50Come on, Beryl.
00:58:51Come on, Beryl.
00:58:52She can ask me anything.
00:58:53Do you know where Jeffrey's got to?
00:58:54Hmm.
00:58:55He's upstairs, I think.
00:58:58Is it true they're dry on their own?
00:59:13Usually.
00:59:14I hate to be any trouble, but I think I'm dying.
00:59:24You'll be all right.
00:59:25Honest.
00:59:26She said I shouldn't smoke it.
00:59:27Who?
00:59:28She said...
00:59:29Geoffrey.
00:59:30Geoffrey.
00:59:35Geoffrey.
00:59:36Geoffrey.
00:59:38Geoffrey.
00:59:45Sorry.
00:59:52Geoffrey.
00:59:53Ooh.
00:59:57Move up a bit, Geoffrey.
00:59:59Put your legs.
01:00:00Ooh.
01:00:01That's better.
01:00:05It's because it's your first time, isn't it?
01:00:13Call Dr. Weisberg. Quilmslow Road.
01:00:21It wasn't marijuana, you know.
01:00:26What was it, then?
01:00:28Grass.
01:00:30Grass is marijuana.
01:00:32This grass wasn't.
01:00:36It was the real thing.
01:00:39From the front lawn.
01:00:49Is that you, Beryl?
01:00:55Had a nice time,
01:00:57even though it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:01:00Not that I mind, if you've had a nice time.
01:01:03Even though I've been in bed since ten,
01:01:05having a good night's worry.
01:01:08Did you see Geoffrey?
01:01:12That's good.
01:01:14Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:15I didn't try at all.
01:01:19Gave me to rest.
01:01:20I'm right off, birds.
01:01:21I am.
01:01:22I am.
01:01:23I am.
01:01:24I am.
01:01:25For good.
01:01:26Me too.
01:01:27And me.
01:01:28I'm right off, birds.
01:01:29I am.
01:01:30I am.
01:01:31For good.
01:01:32Me too.
01:01:33And me.
01:01:35I am,
01:01:36I am.
01:01:37I'm right off, birds.
01:01:38I am.
01:01:39I am.
01:01:40For good.
01:01:41Me too.
01:01:42And me.
01:01:43I'm right off, birds. I am. I am. For good. Me too. And me.
01:02:13Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel. Can I then?
01:02:43Oh, a barrel. A barrel.
01:03:13Geoffrey. Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:23Oh, barrel. Oh, Geoffrey. Oh, God.
01:03:43Hello. Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:48Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:51You're a bugger.
01:03:53I don't know who he takes after.
01:04:04Hello? It's me.
01:04:06Who? My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:09Oh, hello, Beryl. I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:13If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in tonight or any other night.
01:04:18Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:21Let's go.
01:04:23Let's go.
01:04:28Let's go.
01:04:34Let's go.
01:04:43A small world.
01:04:53Good evening, Mrs. Battersby.
01:04:54I was looking for a nice lampshade.
01:04:57Oh?
01:04:59Probably this one.
01:05:01Definitely.
01:05:02Magic in satin.
01:05:03Oh, certainly, Geoffrey.
01:05:05Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?
01:05:07You'd like some nice fancy wrapping paper, wouldn't you?
01:05:17I'm a child of the universe, Beryl. I have a right to be here.
01:05:20I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. Try the co-op.
01:05:23Beryl, listen.
01:05:23If you can smell burning, it's just that the vicar's been around burning his jockstrap.
01:05:26Beryl, listen.
01:05:27Can I help you, madam?
01:05:28Have you got that in another colour?
01:05:30No, madam.
01:05:31I'll leave it then.
01:05:37Listen to what, for heaven's sake?
01:05:43Don't matter.
01:05:45What doesn't?
01:05:46You wouldn't, anyway.
01:05:47Wouldn't what?
01:05:49Go to the match with me on Saturday.
01:05:52Me?
01:05:53A football match?
01:05:55With 40,000 skinheads and you?
01:05:58Told you.
01:06:00Who are they playing?
01:06:01Huddersfield Town.
01:06:08In the cot?
01:06:09I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.
01:06:16The...
01:06:17The fourth from the bottom.
01:06:20Shows you.
01:06:23Away from home, they've won three, drawn five and lost twelve.
01:06:29Drawn five.
01:06:31So, what do you think?
01:06:37I think I nearly love you.
01:06:38Yeah.
01:06:50Away!
01:06:51Away!
01:06:51Away!
01:06:51Away!
01:06:52Away!
01:06:52Away!
01:06:53Away!
01:06:53Away!
01:06:54Away!
01:06:54Away!
01:06:55Away!
01:06:56Away!
01:06:57Away!
01:06:58Away!
01:06:59Away!
01:07:00Away!
01:07:01Away!
01:07:02Away!
01:07:03Away!
01:07:04Away!
01:07:05Away!
01:07:06Away!
01:07:07Away!
01:07:08Away!
01:07:09Away!
01:07:10Away!
01:07:11Away!
01:07:12Away!
01:07:13Away!
01:07:14Away!
01:07:15Away!
01:07:16Away!
01:07:17I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United.
01:07:20I may be wrong.
01:07:21Grace who?
01:07:22We live in a permissive society, Beryl.
01:07:23Read any colour supplement.
01:07:24Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.
01:07:25I am, love.
01:07:26And it wasn't through going to football matches.
01:07:27You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up, even if
01:07:28he's only on the phone.
01:07:29Yes.
01:07:30Well, boys are very safe.
01:07:31And I am your mother.
01:07:32That's what I said.
01:07:33I don't mean permissive permissive.
01:07:36I see.
01:07:37Romantic.
01:07:38Pardon?
01:07:39Kissing.
01:07:40Cuddling.
01:07:41Things of that nature.
01:07:42Oh, we do.
01:07:43Do what?
01:07:44What you just said.
01:07:45Good.
01:07:46Good.
01:07:47Good.
01:07:48Good.
01:07:49Good.
01:07:50Good.
01:07:51Good.
01:07:52Good.
01:07:53Good.
01:07:54Good.
01:07:55Good.
01:07:56Good.
01:07:57Good.
01:07:58Good.
01:07:59Good.
01:08:00Good.
01:08:01Good.
01:08:02Good.
01:08:03Good.
01:08:04Good.
01:08:05Good.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:07Good.
01:08:08Good.
01:08:09Good.
01:08:10Good.
01:08:11Good.
01:08:12Good.
01:08:13Good.
01:08:14Good.
01:08:15Good.
01:08:16Good.
01:08:17Good.
01:08:18Good.
01:08:19Good.
01:08:20Good.
01:08:21Good.
01:08:22Good.
01:08:23Good.
01:08:24Good.
01:08:25Good.
01:08:26Good.
01:08:27Good.
01:08:28Good.
01:08:29Good.
01:08:30Good.
01:08:31Good.
01:08:32Good.
01:08:33Good.
01:08:34Good.
01:08:35Good.
01:08:36The Cowgills. Mr and Mrs Cowgill. Married couple.
01:08:44Newlyweds. Not long married. You go bald doing that.
01:08:51Doing what?
01:08:53Do I tell you 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.
01:09:09Living in sin.
01:09:13Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:18If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano, would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:29I don't think so.
01:09:32A barrel would.
01:09:35Giving you a bad time, is she?
01:09:39I wouldn't say that.
01:09:44I haven't even mentioned the word. What word?
01:09:48Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically...
01:09:53I never said you were!
01:09:54You think it!
01:10:09All right, Geoffrey. I hereby promise never to utter the word again.
01:10:14Marriage?
01:10:17Never.
01:10:19Well, until I am. If I ever do.
01:10:22Which I fervently hope I never will.
01:10:24For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:27No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey. You mustn't feel guilty about me.
01:10:37I'm sorry.
01:10:40No one can say you've completely ruined me life.
01:10:44Not yet.
01:10:50What are you staring at?
01:10:51Hello?
01:10:52You all right, son?
01:10:53Terrific.
01:10:55Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then? Your mother's theory is you're overworking.
01:11:03Hmm.
01:11:05My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.
01:11:07Oh.
01:11:09What's your theory?
01:11:10Indigestion.
01:11:12Oh.
01:11:14What's yours, Sundance?
01:11:18Hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:20He has said one thing.
01:11:21Oh, what's that?
01:11:22If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks, all right?
01:11:27The weeks and months dragged by, and with neither side willing to compromise, we still have deadlock.
01:11:35Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma.
01:11:40Another wild night learning what NO spells and how many of us school pals are getting married.
01:11:45And what NO spells.
01:11:47And what NO spells.
01:11:48Great!
01:11:49I might as well go bald and open my own monastery.
01:11:52And so, society, that's you and me, says,
01:11:56End this dispute.
01:11:58End it now.
01:12:00Good night.
01:12:02Hear, hear.
01:12:03Good, weren't he?
01:12:05Terrific.
01:12:06Especially when he said good night.
01:12:09We're just enjoying ourselves.
01:12:11Having a good time.
01:12:13Just having fun.
01:12:14Being happy!
01:12:15Take two a day, after meals, and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all.
01:12:27You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:29Absolutely positive.
01:12:30Very positive.
01:12:33That was the first film we ever saw together.
01:12:38Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:39Look, Beryl, how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:52You join a marriage bureau and I'll get a job on the stage twice nightly in Denmark.
01:12:58Then we'll both be happy.
01:13:00Right?
01:13:01For Jesus Christ, Superstar. Amen.
01:13:06Oh, well.
01:13:08Pound's up again.
01:13:09See you tomorrow.
01:13:11Where do you think you're going?
01:13:17Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.
01:13:19It's important.
01:13:22What is?
01:13:24I keep asking you what is.
01:13:29What is?
01:13:31To be on our own.
01:13:33What?
01:13:35So as we can talk.
01:13:37What?
01:13:43That old speech worked out on the bus this morning.
01:13:48The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.
01:13:51Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.
01:13:56Grace who?
01:13:58She was playing for United as well.
01:14:00Weird, isn't it?
01:14:10The main thing is, we do communicate.
01:14:14Oh, we do.
01:14:21We do.
01:14:22We do.
01:14:24See what I think...
01:14:25See what I think...
01:14:26Go on.
01:14:27No, you.
01:14:28Mine wasn't important.
01:14:30No, mine wasn't.
01:14:42Beryl?
01:14:46Are you...
01:14:48Happy?
01:14:49Of course.
01:14:51Very.
01:14:54I am.
01:14:55No one is every second of every minute of every day.
01:15:01No.
01:15:03I'm not.
01:15:04Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:17Probably.
01:15:19I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:21Well, not in so many words.
01:15:23Mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:35Is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:40No.
01:15:42I don't think so.
01:15:44Honestly, no.
01:15:46Nothing.
01:15:47If there is...
01:15:48If there isn't...
01:15:49You just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:50If there isn't anything.
01:15:51Honest.
01:15:52Good.
01:15:54It wouldn't upset me.
01:15:55It would just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:16:04Like...
01:16:05You know...
01:16:06Crimson shoes and bottle green socks.
01:16:11Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.
01:16:14If I did, I'd stop.
01:16:15To please you.
01:16:20I see.
01:16:25There's no need to be sensitive, Geoffrey.
01:16:27In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:33Your mother.
01:16:34Pardon?
01:16:35I like your mother.
01:16:36Please don't sulk, Geoffrey.
01:16:37Hand her lampshades.
01:16:38Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:42Well, you ought to know.
01:16:43You've almost made it an art form.
01:16:45Anything else at random?
01:16:47You've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:48After all, I'm no Bridget Bardot.
01:16:51According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:54Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl Battersby.
01:17:01Ask any opinion poll.
01:17:02I'm much fatter for a start.
01:17:04You're not all that fat, Beryl.
01:17:05I am.
01:17:06Start slimming.
01:17:07Men like something to get hold of.
01:17:09If they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:11You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth in the end, don't you?
01:17:14Always.
01:17:15No, I don't, Beryl.
01:17:16You do.
01:17:17I always fail.
01:17:18Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:20The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:23Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.
01:17:26Especially for the 600th time.
01:17:28That they really dig.
01:17:30You never say dig.
01:17:31I did then.
01:17:32Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.
01:17:37That's really lovable.
01:17:39I never knew you thought that.
01:17:41Neither did I.
01:17:43Do now, though.
01:17:45I used to say dig before I met you.
01:18:00I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:06There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:15You thinking what I'm thinking?
01:18:34I think so.
01:18:36We just don't like each other.
01:18:38At all.
01:18:45Oh, goodbye, then.
01:18:46Good luck.
01:18:47Peace, ma'am.
01:18:48St Anne's Square.
01:18:49St Anne's Square, please.
01:18:50St Anne's Square, please.
01:18:51So that just leaves a cart, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:18:56Yes, ma'am.
01:19:00St Anne's Square. St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:13So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:19:20And what else do I need?
01:19:23Oh, yes, a ring. Teething ring?
01:19:26Of course.
01:19:29Oh, they have gorgeous prams in the shops these days.
01:19:32No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:35Oh, sorry.
01:19:37What about? Skip it.
01:19:40About time, too, with a sympathy.
01:19:43Not that I need any, actually. I've never been as happy in me life.
01:19:47But she doesn't know that.
01:19:49If I'm looking miserable, Sandra, it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:54Yeah.
01:19:57We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:59Of course we do.
01:20:01How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:08Ace.
01:20:09She used to wear pink, you know. I won't tell you where.
01:20:15A hell of a lot more where hers came from. Wow!
01:20:20Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:26I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:32Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:35Well, Sandra, this is it.
01:20:40Yep.
01:20:41The big day.
01:20:42Yep.
01:20:43Coming to the crutch.
01:20:44Crunch.
01:20:45I dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest seeing him again.
01:20:50You mustn't think I'll be crying inside because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:55And what's more, no one will know that I am.
01:20:58Because I shan't.
01:21:00Truly.
01:21:01Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.
01:21:05It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:10And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:15Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:17Eh, fine.
01:21:18This is fine enough.
01:21:19Here.
01:21:20About there, lovely.
01:21:22You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:23Wow.
01:21:24Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:27Ow!
01:21:29Oh, sorry.
01:21:31That's right.
01:21:32Hold it.
01:21:34Lovely.
01:21:39Lovely.
01:21:41Right.
01:21:42Now, a nice family group with the parents, please.
01:21:44Funny.
01:21:45I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met.
01:21:49How have you been?
01:21:51Absolutely great.
01:21:52You?
01:21:53Never better.
01:21:54Ever.
01:21:58It's all over now.
01:21:59Bar the salmon salad.
01:22:02It's tuna fish.
01:22:04It's life.
01:22:09I see President Nixon went to China, then.
01:22:12That was before we ever met.
01:22:13I know.
01:22:14Why?
01:22:15Has something happened about it?
01:22:16No.
01:22:17Oh?
01:22:18Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:19Hmm.
01:22:20Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.
01:22:28Nixon?
01:22:29Why is he going?
01:22:30No.
01:22:31The astronauts.
01:22:32Oh.
01:22:33It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:34We never really talked, did we, about things that matter?
01:22:36Good, isn't it?
01:22:37Shows we're friends.
01:22:38Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:39Everybody thinks we're broken highted.
01:22:41We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:22:43My mother's convinced herself we split up, because we had too much Percy filth.
01:22:46I'm right.
01:22:47Well, we don't want to spend this time with us.
01:22:49The astronauts then we've ever met.
01:22:50The coroner?
01:22:51The astronauts.
01:22:52Oh.
01:22:53It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:54We never really talked, did we, about things that matter?
01:22:56Good, isn't it?
01:22:58Shows we're friends?
01:22:59Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:23:02Everybody thinks we're broken hearted.
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.
01:23:07I'm right off it myself.
01:23:09I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:23:13Oh, I expect it's only temporary.
01:23:16I hope not. It's marvellous.
01:23:18Good.
01:23:19I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:22Thank you, love.
01:23:26Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:29And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:35Fantastic.
01:23:36For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:40I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:46In bed, I bet.
01:23:51And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol
01:23:55and marry her three days later.
01:23:59We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:02I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:04Oh, yeah.
01:24:05I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:08Where's she going?
01:24:09Hospital.
01:24:13Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:16How's Muscle?
01:24:17How's the door?
01:24:26Thank you, teacher.
01:24:28How's this?
01:24:29Bl Latvia!
01:24:30Oh, hello, Mrs. Battersby.
01:24:58He won't remember me.
01:25:01Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:05Is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:11There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:14Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:28Hi.
01:25:41When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:48What on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:51I forgot.
01:25:54I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:57Where will you go now, then?
01:26:00Don't know.
01:26:02I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:09Where will you?
01:26:11Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:13Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:17Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:19May as well, if you like.
01:26:21Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:23Just as friends.
01:26:25Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:27Yeah, I did.
01:26:35Wish we had a ball.
01:26:38I'd play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:44Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:27:14Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:22We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:25Anyone, really.
01:27:33There's millions to choose from.
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:41You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:42You will, Beryl.
01:27:45Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:48Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:53CHOIR SINGS
01:27:59CHOIR SINGS
01:28:05CHOIR SINGS
01:28:07CHOIR SINGS
01:28:09CHOIR SINGS
01:28:11CHOIR SINGS
01:28:12CHOIR SINGS
01:28:13CHOIR SINGS
01:28:14CHOIR SINGS
01:28:15CHOIR SINGS
01:28:17And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's done
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:58Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's done
01:29:12Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:22Love and rainy weather
01:29:25Love and rainy weather
01:29:31Love and rainy weather
01:29:33Love and rainy weather
01:29:34Love and rainy weather
01:29:37You've got a little world
01:29:39Shut up
01:29:40Love and rainy weather
01:29:41Male, rainy weather
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