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Sheena (2000) Season 1 Episode 9 - Doing as the Romans
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FunTranscript
00:00It is said that when one is in love, a cliff becomes a flowered meadow.
00:11Sekhani, Jamila, the two of you have been patient and true.
00:19Then you agree to marry us?
00:22With your parents' blessing.
00:24Then bow with me.
00:31My mind, my heart, is yours.
00:39Now simply pick the day.
00:42But allow me time to prepare myself accordingly.
00:46I always like to dress up a little more special for such occasions.
00:52Come on!
00:54We are from President for Life and Gama.
01:16We are here for the girl.
01:18By royal order of President for Life and Gama and constitutional law, the president wishes to honor her as his wife.
01:29Hasn't and Gama wives enough already?
01:31He may have as many wives as he wants.
01:34That is the law.
01:35A law that he created.
01:38Jamila is to be my wife.
01:39You tell and Gama to find another.
01:41Come, there will be trouble.
01:50Jamila, no!
01:52I can't!
01:53No!
01:57You do this because you are weak.
02:01It is the fear that drives you.
02:04The fear of Gama!
02:06Bring him with us!
02:07No!
02:08No!
02:21Just come...
02:22Come on!
02:27Take care!
02:27Come on!
02:29Come on!
02:29Go!
02:30Come on!
02:30Come on!
02:33Come on!
02:34Go!
06:04I am a practicing Catholic about to take his first wife in the Holy...
06:12What's it called?
06:14What's it called?
06:17Sacrament, Your Excellency.
06:20Marriage sacrament.
06:22This new wife will be my one and only future wife.
06:30My beauty.
06:31My beauty.
06:32Jamila.
06:33Welcome.
06:34My princess.
06:36Welcome.
06:38Welcome.
06:39I hear there was some trouble, her young lover.
06:48Yes, Your Excellency.
06:49Yes, Your Excellency.
06:50He was very resistant to the honor that you were bestowing upon her.
06:55I see.
06:56I see.
06:57Then I'm sure he's a dead man now.
07:02Then bring him to me.
07:03No, no.
07:04Your Excellency.
07:05My Excellency.
07:06I will be dutiful and honor you every wish.
07:08I ask only that those ones close to me not be harmed.
07:12If he can't have my love, please give him his life.
07:17I beg this of you.
07:19And I grant this.
07:21My first present to you.
07:24Provided you behave like a proper fiancé.
07:29I promise.
07:32You are such a beauty.
07:35I will treasure your beauty forever.
07:48Take Jamila to her quarters.
08:01You or the other wives are not to speak to her.
08:05And you are not to be seen until the cardinal is gone.
08:14Find her lover.
08:16And as the lion does his rival, rip him apart.
08:21And leave what's left for the hyenas.
08:24Yes, Your Excellency.
08:31Very nice, Your Excellency.
08:41No, I will never let him take her from me.
09:06Jamila is to be my wife.
09:09Mine.
09:09And you would choose to risk throwing away your life rather than lose her?
09:14Yes.
09:15And risk her life?
09:18Ngama thinks he's doing her an honor.
09:21But Jamila's heart, her spirit, Ngama will crush them.
09:28I will bring her back.
09:29No.
09:32I'll bring her back.
09:35To do this, you must go to another world.
09:38The world of civilized man.
09:41Then I'll need a guide.
09:45Cutter.
09:48You tell me where Innerspan News wants to go, what Innerspan News wants to see, and I will get you there.
09:54Cutter Unlimited is the cutting edge of accessibility.
09:57We already have a guide.
09:59We're just out getting local color for Cardinal Ligeti's visit.
10:02You see, I'm a recovering Catholic myself.
10:04An altar boy.
10:06Until I got caught chugging the communion wine.
10:09Aerial shots.
10:11Only Cutter Unlimited can get you airborne.
10:13Africa from the air is a must.
10:17If we decide we need any, we'll give you a call.
10:21All right.
10:21Just who is going to be your tour guide?
10:23Are you sure he knows what's what in Baltaca?
10:26He's President Ngama's tourism minister.
10:29I think he'll do.
10:30Okay, has he mentioned the La Mista is a possible shooting site?
10:34Pristine, unexplored, full of the legendary Darachna, the beast of the La Mista?
10:40The beast?
10:41Oh, yeah.
10:42She's semi-clad and killed crazy.
10:45It's got primetime special written all over it.
10:48There's a problem with your truck.
10:52You see what kind of service we provide at Cutter Unlimited?
10:54My partner Mendelssohn can fix anything under the sun.
10:57You just give him the word.
10:57What is it, old buddy? What's wrong with the truck?
11:01It's got Ngama soldiers crawling all over it.
11:12What are you doing?
11:14We are looking for someone. Stand back.
11:16My crew and I have been granted safe passage by Ngama himself.
11:21We are here at his personal invitation.
11:24A dangerous enemy of the state has escaped.
11:30We wanted to ensure your safety.
11:33You're telling Ngama that if a dangerous fugitive was within 50 miles of me,
11:37I'd be the first to know.
11:38And when I know about it, he'll know about it.
11:40My men will reload your truck.
11:42I'm here at your beck and call.
11:52We cannot let this publicity opportunity pass us by.
11:57You talking to me?
11:59Who else would I be talking to?
12:01Your imaginary friend?
12:03Who's he?
12:13The dangerous fugitive who's not within 50 miles of here.
12:16Don't tell me anymore.
12:20Just tell me that you're now going to take him anywhere but here.
12:26He stays.
12:28We go.
12:28I want you to take me to Ngama.
12:32This day just keeps getting better and better.
12:35I will go with you.
12:36No.
12:38He'll do.
12:39Yet another left hook compliment.
12:41Go. Hide.
12:43This isn't about you.
12:45This is about the enslavement of young girls.
12:48What if this happened to your sister?
12:50I don't have a sister.
12:51Then what if it happened to the woman you love?
12:54Apparently I've said something that makes you turn pale.
12:56Well, it's the color I always turn.
12:59I'm about to do something dangerous and stupid.
13:07Okay.
13:08In Ngama's court, you and me, on a mission.
13:10Won't be easy playing Higgins to your Pygmalion.
13:14No.
13:16We'd have to be a couple.
13:18Of what?
13:20Me in a tux.
13:22You in a cleaning gown.
13:23A 007 moment.
13:33So when Ngama's soldiers riddle our bodies with bullets, we'll die in style.
13:37We will not die.
13:41Well, I won't die.
13:43Well, neither of us will die if you trust me and do this my way.
13:46We'll start with a crash course in civilizing you.
13:51Well, let's see.
13:53What do we have here?
13:54Let's see.
13:56Ah.
13:57Welcome to my world.
14:00Wherever that's worn, I am not wearing it.
14:02Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
14:03Remember what I said?
14:05For this plan to work.
14:09Well, growling's not allowed.
14:12But burn's okay.
14:13Okay.
14:13We've got a lot of work to do.
14:30Oh, that's...
14:32All right.
14:35Oh, that's good.
14:37That's good.
14:38Find your balance.
14:39Oh, that's good.
14:53Okay.
14:56No, no, no.
14:56Take your hands down.
14:57Find your balance.
14:59Find your balance.
15:01Now walk.
15:03Come on.
15:04Come on, walk.
15:05I said walk.
15:11I've got my balance.
15:13Now walk.
15:19All right, now try it.
15:21You've got to pucker up, sort of like...
15:22Sort of like that.
15:24Okay?
15:25Now that shade is called red sex.
15:27Every woman at Ingama's reception is going to be wearing lipstick.
15:33Men love it.
15:40Would you at least lick them a lot?
15:44Your lips, not the men.
15:46Also, when someone comes up to talk to you, bite your lower lip.
15:50Why would I do this?
15:51It's sexy.
15:54Shows you have a yearning, a hunger.
15:58Men like that.
15:59And they'll feed me?
16:01Ah.
16:02Also, talk a little, listen much.
16:06Ah, we're going to need a great dress for you.
16:10A gown.
16:12It has to be made of natural fibers.
16:14Anything else won't change with me in animal shape.
16:16Oh, absolutely no changing.
16:19I'm still bringing my regular clothes.
16:21We can hide them nearby.
16:25Oh.
16:27Huh.
16:28Mm-hmm.
16:37How is it that you have all these things?
16:39Oh, you know, guests leave them behind.
16:44No.
16:47I don't suppose you can sew.
16:49This is a mistake.
16:50I'll go alone.
16:51Oh, fine.
16:53Where you're going isn't the Lamistas.
16:56It's in Gamma's court, where all the men are armed, have a clear shot, and shoot to kill.
17:01Right?
17:01Showing a little flesh is going to get you better results than ripping flesh.
17:04These men wanted to see you.
17:07Harboring fugitives?
17:08I wonder if there's a reward.
17:10What do you know about fashion?
17:11You're a summer, but you think you're an autumn.
17:21For her.
17:22Are we talking high tea or black tie?
17:25We need it fast.
17:27Soiree.com, 12-hour overnight, anywhere in the world, but it'll cost you.
17:31I also need you to keep Sukkani from view.
17:35That'll cost you more.
17:38Then you will bring back my Jamila.
17:41I will.
17:42We'll try.
17:42Okay.
17:51Okay.
17:53You better get a move.
18:06That...
18:07Wow.
18:29Ow!
18:31Wake up, Cinderella.
18:32You got a ball to get to.
18:37Who is that?
19:04Matthew Cutter.
19:05He runs a two-bit tour company.
19:06I know who he is.
19:08Who is she?
19:09I was going to ask you that.
19:10Sims.
19:11So good to see you again.
19:13Mr. Cutter.
19:15And...
19:16This is my friend, Mona.
19:18What brings you to our fair country?
19:21Fair?
19:22Mona's taking some time off from her modeling duties.
19:24She works the European ramps.
19:26I am most happy you could join us in this most prestigious state occasion.
19:31I'm most happy to be here.
19:33Maybe we will have a private moment later?
19:35Here.
19:49How was that?
19:51Well, that was beautiful.
19:54I don't think I've ever seen him fawn so much.
19:58Fawn?
19:59He's more like a scorpion.
20:00If he could win the Vatican's recognition and approval, he'd be able to get the trade sanctions
20:07against Malta to live it.
20:09Look at him lick those boots.
20:12Perhaps he should lick his lips.
20:15I hear men love that.
20:18Touché.
20:18Well, thank you.
20:24Thanks.
20:24Thanks.
20:24I'm not going to do this.
20:49Shouldn't I be hiding?
20:51You want to hide?
20:53Hide.
20:54I am lost without her.
20:56Ah, the sweet mysteries of love.
21:00I once pined away for an inamorata.
21:03Sheila Johanson of Eau Claire, Wisconsin.
21:08Black magic getting those words.
21:11Yes.
21:13Yes.
21:14You understand.
21:16What happened to your love?
21:18She fell for a Culligan man who drove a 58 fit.
21:21What chance did I have?
21:23Oh, I cannot let this happen to me.
21:38Fellow countrymen, it is with great pleasure that I perform a dual introduction.
21:44From Vatican City, our most honored guest, Roman Cardinal Rigetti, who has come a long way
21:52to see for himself what a wonderful, free, and democratic country we have here in Maltaca.
21:59And now, it gives me profound joy to present Jamila, my cherished, true love, who has agreed to join me and my Catholic faith in the holy sacrament of marriage.
22:18Together, my wife and I will watch over this beautiful country with the care and compassion that the people of Maltaca most richly deserve.
22:32Now, let's go back to the quarters, my love.
22:52Mr. Cutter, where is your friend?
22:54Are you sweating?
22:58Already looking for another?
23:00And the wedding bed isn't even cold?
23:02Find her for me.
23:06Now.
23:07Gladly.
23:09Of course she is young, quite younger than any of us, and very beautiful.
23:39Her face reminds me of my own, but not once did she smile.
23:53This way.
23:56Do you see anything?
23:59She was to be married in her own village.
24:02A village she will never see again, nor her friends or her family.
24:08To her, the courtyard chamber, the view we each saw when we were the bride.
24:15What?
24:20Don't move.
24:25Come with me.
24:31Apparently we have a problem, Your Excellency.
24:36Intruders.
24:38What?
24:39What?
24:40What?
24:41What?
24:42What?
24:43What?
24:44What?
24:45What?
24:46What?
24:47What?
24:48What?
24:49It's my great honor and deep pleasure
25:19to meet you. I went to parochial
25:21school. What part of
25:23Italy are you from? Well, actually
25:25I'm an American from Indiana. I'm on
25:27assignment in the Vatican. Ah.
25:30Indiana, huh?
25:31So, cheer, cheer
25:33for old Notre Dame.
25:35Wake up, her echo's calling
25:37her name.
25:39UCLA beat us out of a bowl bed this year.
25:41Run by the Bruins. I tell you,
25:43that one cost me 50 big ones and a bottle of Irish
25:45whiskey.
25:49You need to go out.
25:56A stupid cat.
26:09What is it that you do here?
26:15I run Cutter Unlimited.
26:16Tours mostly. I can show you a side of
26:19Maltax that you have seen.
26:21Sure you could.
26:23Oh, nice kitty. Run along.
26:25Find your litter box.
26:27Hi.
26:29Well, we at Cutter Unlimited
26:31like to say...
26:32Is that you?
26:37Who is it?
26:45Hi.
26:46Run along.
26:51Well, let's the beast and the children.
26:56Excuse me.
26:57Excuse me.
26:59Okay.
27:11There better be a damn good reason why...
27:13Hey.
27:14All right?
27:16All right.
27:17I found Jamila.
27:29Oh, you know, there's a number of things I can do with a naked woman,
27:33but having a conversation is not one of them.
27:38She's being kept in a separate chamber,
27:45overlooking the...
27:48Furball.
27:56Overlooking the courtyard.
27:59I also spend some time with Ingama's wives.
28:01Well, you do get around, don't you?
28:03Your life here is a misery.
28:05We need to rescue Jamila immediately.
28:07Okay.
28:08You just, uh,
28:09wait here while I go, uh,
28:11see what things look like out there.
28:15Um, you know, if...
28:17I think you'd look awfully strange without your jacket.
28:23Right.
28:24You just, uh, stay here naked.
28:26I'll be back.
28:33Can I interview you and your friend now?
28:56Uh, yeah.
28:56She just needs to pull herself together.
28:58Okay, well, just do you then.
28:59Now?
29:00No time like the present.
29:01So, tell me about yourself.
29:04Well, I'll try to make a long story short.
29:08Come with me.
29:17Stay this way.
29:19Stay here.
29:19Come on.
29:31Come on.
30:01Don't move.
30:10Don't move.
30:20Then about five years ago,
30:22shortly after my refusal to seek public office,
30:25I found myself in...
30:27trouble.
30:30Had about enough.
30:32Ah, thank you.
30:33Send me a copy.
30:36Oh, and how about those Montana years at Notre Dame?
30:38Uh, 1974 through 78.
30:41Did, uh, he go number one in the draft?
30:43Well, no, he did not.
30:45That's because the good Lord wanted him playing for St. Francisco by the bay.
30:48That he did.
30:49Yeah.
30:54It's no use.
30:56The guard said I will be executed as soon as the cardinal has left.
31:00I fear you will share my fate.
31:04These men have no hearts.
31:07Well, then I guess I'll appeal to something else.
31:09What are you doing?
31:12Showing some flesh.
31:20Hello?
31:22Over here.
31:29Hi.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:30Hey.
31:31Hey.
31:32Hey.
31:33Hey.
31:34Hey.
31:35Hey.
31:36Hey.
31:37Hey.
31:38Hey.
31:41I know where she is.
32:02How easy did you get here?
32:06I could not let you do this. Not without being sure.
32:10Sure that this was what you wanted.
32:14You know what I want.
32:18We must leave. We must go wherever he cannot find us.
32:22No, Sagani. N'gama promised that he would protect you and my family.
32:26But only if I become his wife. Who can be a wife to this man?
32:30Do with me what you will, but you will never escape him.
32:34Tell her what you mean. Tell her what comes from bargaining with the devil.
32:38Tell her. When I married, he made many promises.
32:42He told me he would value my beauty forever.
32:46Even then I feared him.
32:50But he told me I could buy my freedom.
32:54He told me this knowing I would never have anything of value.
32:58Not even your beauty. He took that away as well.
33:02Show her. Show her the loving handiwork of N'gama.
33:24Then let them find us here.
33:26At least we'll die together.
33:32More bad news, Your Excellency.
33:34As I reported earlier,
33:36we were able to apprehend Mr. Cutter's friend and the fiancée.
33:38And?
33:40They escaped.
33:42But only minutes ago, I am sure...
33:44Corden off the palace!
33:46They are not to escape.
33:48And the cardinal is to know nothing of this!
33:54Your Excellency.
33:56You were not to be seen.
33:58I have news for you about Jamoya and her lover.
34:01What do you know of them?
34:03I know they are going to escape.
34:04I know where they are going and when.
34:06Continue.
34:08Gladly.
34:10But for this valuable information,
34:12I ask only that you honor your promise.
34:14What promise?
34:16To grant me my freedom.
34:19You told me if I ever had anything of value...
34:21I have. You killed.
34:23Is that freedom enough?
34:25Which do you value more?
34:27Satisfying your vengeance?
34:29Or my death?
34:33The day you die.
34:35You go free.
34:43You look hot.
34:45Perhaps you should find some shade.
34:46No, quite all right.
34:48Not every day I get to spend time with the cardinal.
34:50Nice to see you, thanks.
34:52Oh, I'll be more than happy to see you.
34:54Be well.
34:59Hey.
35:05I've got Sakani and Jamila.
35:06I'm getting them out of here.
35:08I need you to create a diversion.
35:10Well, if you're the one wearing sheets,
35:12maybe you should do it.
35:13Just do it.
35:14And get out of here.
35:15You can't expect me on the spur of the moment.
35:17Just...
35:20Of course you can.
35:29Oh, absolutely.
35:30Of course.
35:32Oh, yeah.
35:33I can do it.
35:34Oh, yeah.
35:35Oh, yeah.
35:36That's all the luck.
35:37I can't sell.
35:38Oh, yeah, yeah.
35:39Oh, yeah, yeah.
35:40I can't sell.
35:41Oh, yeah, yeah.
35:42Wow.
35:43Oh, yeah.
35:44That's wonderful.
35:45That's amazing.
35:46That's a good one on the phone.
35:48Remember, well.
35:50It's...
35:51... Moves, words.
35:52No, no.
35:53Ah!
35:58Diversion by Cutter with Cutter.
36:28To the roof!
36:33Over there!
36:47There!
36:58Excellency, what will you tell the press about your new wife?
37:12That she can't swim.
37:17To be a woman in Multica is no more than slavery.
37:22A slave who can be forced to endure all manner of cruelty.
37:27Even this.
37:36It is said to be the ancient custom.
37:39A sign of a woman's devotion.
37:43To never commit adultery.
37:45A barbaric practice.
37:47Staped in misguided tradition.
37:50But not the tradition for modern Multica.
37:53It is true, Ngama has never favored this practice and has always wanted to end it.
37:58And what better time for issuing a decree.
38:03As of today, this practice will no longer be honored.
38:07Let those who oppose take up their complaints with me.
38:11Yes.
38:12You have made a wise decision, President Ngama.
38:21Let us hope there are many more of those yet to come.
38:25My dear, huh?
38:26You must come visit me soon, huh?
38:27I believe you promised me my freedom.
38:28I believe you just took it.
38:30I believe you just took it.
38:43Come.
38:45Look.
38:46You took it.
38:48Billy.
39:01Come.
39:02Billy.
39:04But whose been sobie MEMBER of it today?
39:05That's amazing.
39:06He took it.
39:08Sheena?
39:20Sheena?
39:22Sheena?
39:24Sheena?
39:30Sheena?
39:32Will Mona do?
39:34All right, what's going on?
39:38I heard someone say Jamila and Sakani jumped in a river and were eaten by crocodiles.
39:44Oh!
39:58I convinced the crocodiles that they weren't hungry.
40:01Fortunately, they speak little, but listen much.
40:07Now Sakani and Jamila can lead a normal life.
40:10And Gama thinks they're dead.
40:13Everything is as it was.
40:15Ah, yes.
40:17Except, you've tasted the forbidden fruits of civilization.
40:21Hard to go back once you've experienced it.
40:26Watch me.
40:31How can I not?
40:37How can I not?
40:39How can I not?
40:41You are no hungry.
40:43You're going to bite me.
40:45Oh, what do you think?
40:47Oh, what?
40:48I have to be where was going.
40:49Oh, no.
40:50Ugh!
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