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Sheena (2000) Season 1 Episode 3 - Revenge of the Jirds

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Fun
Transcript
00:00Closed Captions by Red Bee Media
00:30Let's go.
01:00Mr. Burke, I've been waiting patiently for your return.
01:15Mr. Kumar, I didn't expect to see you here.
01:18And I wasn't expecting ruined merchandise.
01:21Ruined? What do you mean?
01:23As in dead. I want reimbursement for my losses.
01:26Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I can do that.
01:36Just to show you what an up-front businessman I am,
01:39I'll throw in another shipment for free. How's that?
01:42That won't be necessary since I've changed my supplier.
01:45Now, wait a minute.
01:47You're dumping me over one bad transaction?
01:50Consider yourself lucky I haven't asked you to refund the profits I've lost
01:53from this one bad transaction.
01:56But then, I doubt your account could handle $800,000.
02:06Yeah.
02:07Well, you may be singing a different tune when your next supplier can't come through for you like I did.
02:11Getting what you want ain't easy.
02:14It's dangerous, too.
02:15Oh, no.
02:15Oh, no.
02:15This is not fair.
02:16It's dangerous, too.
02:17Oh, no.
02:17Oh, my God.
02:47Oh, my God.
03:17Oh, my God.
03:47Oh, my God.
04:17Oh, my God.
04:47We shared real intimacy last night, Matt.
04:50Hey, what can I say?
04:51My parents raised me right.
04:53They sure did.
04:55You know, I'm not usually prone to a girlish behavior, but I'll cuddle with you anytime.
05:02Catch you later.
05:11Catch you later.
05:11Yeah.
05:12Okay.
05:13Want some breakfast cuddles?
05:22Oh, did it ever occur to you that I just don't want to rush into anything?
05:28No.
05:32I like Tracy.
05:33She's cute and sexy and...
05:36I don't know.
05:37I don't know.
05:37I don't know.
05:37It's just, um, I'm not, uh, responding to her.
05:43Don't tell me.
05:44The soldier is gone, eh, war?
05:47The soldier is gone.
05:48What?
05:48Oh, you mean, no, God, no.
05:52Jeez, don't even think such a thing, Mendelsohn.
05:57Then if you aren't responding to Tracy, it must be because of Sheena.
06:01Sheena?
06:02What's it, Sheena?
06:05Did I ever mention you talk in your sleep?
06:08Actually, you yell in your sleep.
06:10Oh, really?
06:11What do I say?
06:11It's mostly how you say it.
06:15Sheena.
06:18Sheena.
06:19Sheena.
06:21Sheena!
06:23Sheena.
06:26Oh, come on.
06:28You've actually heard me do this?
06:29My Robey has heard you do this.
06:32She must be one hell of a fox.
06:38No, no, a fox.
06:38I can handle.
06:39Mendelsohn, where the hell did you put the coffee?
06:43We're out.
06:46Great.
06:50Sheena!
06:51Sheena!
07:01Morning.
07:02Says who?
07:03I see I caught you at a bad time.
07:05Oh, Callie.
07:06Hi.
07:07Don't mind me.
07:07I just haven't had my caffeine yet.
07:09Oh, then I won't keep you.
07:10I just came by to pick up the literature you ordered for Sheena.
07:13Right.
07:14Although, I'm not sure I'd use the word literature to describe it, uh, basically as a chick book.
07:23It concerns poultry?
07:24No, no.
07:26You know, it's a girl-type book.
07:27Huggy, kissy-type stuff.
07:28A romance novel.
07:30Exactly.
07:30You know, women love this kind of stuff.
07:32The words aren't too big and the plots aren't too complicated.
07:34Well, I'm sure Sheena will appreciate your efforts.
07:37I tell you what, if you don't mind, I like to give this to her myself.
07:41Maybe you can tell her I've got a gift for it next time you see her.
07:44Perhaps she could drop by?
07:46Please take no offense, Cutter.
07:47It is not her way to drop by.
07:55Okay, Cutter, where are they?
07:58Goodness, child, what are you doing?
08:06This Sheena?
08:08Sheena.
08:09Mendelsohn.
08:09Mendelsohn.
08:10Sheena.
08:12Okay, now I get it.
08:14Tell me what you've done with the jerds.
08:17What the hell are jerds?
08:27Oh, you mean coffee.
08:29Sheena, just tell me what you want, because I swear there's nothing in that crate but coffee.
08:38I'm guessing that must be the decaf.
08:44These animals are stolen from the jungle.
08:46I found the traps.
08:47I almost caught one of the poachers.
08:50Now, who hired you to do this?
08:52I was hired to deliver coffee.
08:54I don't know anything about these little mice things.
08:56They're mice.
08:57They're jerds.
08:58More importantly, they are jerds from the Lamistas.
09:01Men will kill for these little creatures.
09:04They are worth thousands of dollars each.
09:06Why?
09:07The popular myth is that glanula extract from a la Mr. Jerd is believed to cure impotency.
09:14Does it work?
09:15I said it was a myth.
09:17But that still doesn't stop the inhumane practice of draining fluid with a large syringe from a small animal while it's awake.
09:25Then it's left to die a slow death.
09:27This one's been injured.
09:28There's blood on its back.
09:31Human blood.
09:31The jerds only defense is to bite whoever handled it was bitten.
09:43I hope they get blood poisoning.
09:46And you're a part of all this.
09:49I am not.
09:51All for the sake of tumescence.
09:53Tumescence?
09:53What is that?
09:55Swahili for the soldier went AWOL?
09:58It's English.
09:59It means...
10:01Swelling?
10:03Swelling.
10:05A word commonly used in stupid romance novels.
10:11Sheena, I had nothing to do with the jerds.
10:15I'm not that kind of person.
10:16I swear.
10:18Then prove it.
10:19You know, you didn't have to come along.
10:31I'm perfectly capable of making this delivery myself.
10:34You only have a few days left to renew your Perfect Ten subscription or you'll lose it.
10:40What's Perfect Ten?
10:41Never mind.
10:45So, I doubt you've ever been on an airplane before.
10:48There's really nothing to be worried about.
10:49So how does it stay up when the wings don't even move?
10:52Well, it's...
10:53It's the wind fairy.
10:56The wind fairy must know a lot about aerodynamics.
10:59Do you read everything?
11:00Hey, hey, hey, hey.
11:08Hey, oh, oh.
11:11Whoa.
11:18Don't touch anything unless you ask first.
11:21Unless you're purposely trying to kill us.
11:23No, I'm trying to make sure you deliver the shipment.
11:25And why wouldn't I make the delivery?
11:27Because of the obvious risks involved.
11:30Well, so far, the only risk is having you on the plane.
11:33When you deliver the coffee cargo and the jerds aren't in there,
11:36the buyer will go after the supplier.
11:37Yeah?
11:38Okay, so?
11:39But the buyer could also come after you if he thinks you're involved.
11:43So don't get involved.
11:45Hey, not getting involved is my mantra.
11:48But you know, that might change if someone sees you sitting in this plane.
11:51They're not expecting anyone but me.
11:52They were very specific about that.
11:54No one will see me.
11:57No one can ever see me.
11:59No one can ever see me.
11:59No one can ever see me.
12:27No one can ever see me.
12:29No one can ever see me.
12:29No one can ever see me.
12:30Two Somalis.
12:39This will be a piece of...
12:44Dead cake.
12:53Jumbo, got your coffee delivery?
12:56Two to each cool.
12:56Yeah, if you just sign right here.
13:00You're a Southpaw, huh?
13:02No, it's okay, it's okay. I can get the cargo out for you.
13:04It's all part of the five-star service. It comes with Cutter Unlimited.
13:07I just need to show him which shipment belongs to you guys.
13:10Is there something about the plane we should know about?
13:14Hey, if you want it, take it. I've already read the articles.
13:17Stay put.
13:18Okay.
13:19I'm sorry.
13:20I'm sorry.
13:21I'm sorry.
13:22I'm sorry.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:24I'm sorry.
13:25I'm sorry.
13:26I'm sorry.
13:27I'm sorry.
13:28Please, stay put.
13:29Sheena?
13:56Sheena?
14:00You know, that was a very close call.
14:03A lot closer than I like my calls to be, quite frankly.
14:06Once the buyer finds out he's only got coffee,
14:09the seller's gonna have to make a move.
14:11That's when I'll get him.
14:13Ah, from Agatha Christie's books.
14:16No, from Common Sense.
14:29What are you doing?
14:31Follow the Jeep.
14:35What are you doing?
14:36Follow the Jeep.
14:37Would you stop it already?
14:38Don't follow the Jeep.
14:39Don't follow the Jeep.
14:40Don't follow the Jeep.
14:41Don't follow the Jeep.
14:42But it'll take us to the buyer.
14:43I don't care about the buyer.
14:44I want the seller.
14:45Weren't you listening to me earlier?
14:46You know, being around you is very weird.
14:47One minute you're quoting from bodish rippers,
14:49the next you sound like Sonny Crockett.
14:50What's a Sonny Crockett?
14:51What's a Sonny Crockett?
14:52Never mind.
14:53So you've actually read some of these romance novels, have you?
14:55No.
14:56No.
14:57No.
14:58No.
14:59No.
15:00No.
15:01No.
15:02No.
15:03No.
15:04No.
15:05No.
15:06No.
15:07No.
15:08No.
15:09No.
15:10No.
15:11No.
15:12No.
15:13No.
15:14No.
15:15No.
15:16No.
15:17No.
15:18No.
15:19No.
15:20No.
15:21No.
15:22A few.
15:23Actually, I used them to practice my reading.
15:27Ha ha ha.
15:28Yeah, right.
15:29I'm sure it has nothing to do with all the sex.
15:32No.
15:34That part was great.
15:35I didn't like the female characters.
15:38I always ended up in castle owned by strange men.
15:41Never solved things for themselves.
15:43Always waited to get rescued by some man.
15:46Usually his name was...
15:47Lance.
15:49Oh, now, now, now, what are you going to do?
15:51Wing walk?
15:52I've got to return something.
15:59Remember, don't follow the Duke.
16:02Oh, man.
16:32I really wish I could do that.
17:02Don't follow the Jeep.
17:29Oh, trying to give me the slip, are you, fellas?
17:33Well, you can run, but you cannot hide.
17:48However you can shoot.
17:54Where's my shipment?
17:57No church again.
17:58All that's here is coffee.
17:59This is all there was.
18:08We unloaded the cargo ourselves.
18:11Shut up.
18:13Or I'll cut your tongue out, too.
18:18Seems all I have to show for my investment
18:20will be another dead supplier.
18:23It might not be the supplier this time.
18:25The man who delivered the cargo, Matt Cutter.
18:28He tried to follow us in his plane.
18:38Matt Cutter.
18:40That explains everything.
18:42He'd sell his own liver if he thought he could make a profit off of it.
18:46Anyone brazen enough to steal what is mine
18:48should not be allowed to share this earth with me.
18:51It's no big deal, right?
19:04They're just flesh wounds.
19:05What the hell did you do that for?
19:12That's a flesh wound.
19:14Those are bullet holes.
19:16Just fix the plane, Mendelsohn.
19:17By the way...
19:24Rashid stopped by looking for you.
19:27He told me they found Burke dead in his own office a few days ago.
19:31Burke.
19:33Man, anyone who ate and drank the way he did doesn't surprise me.
19:36What, his heart finally just give out on him?
19:38Yeah, it did.
19:39Right after two bullets went through the back of his neck and out his forehead.
19:44And you might be interested in this.
19:45When they found him, he had coffee grain stuffed down his throat.
19:50He was murdered.
19:52Either that or he was passing himself off as a coffee filter.
19:56Matt.
19:57Hi.
19:58Hi.
19:59Oh, I just thought I'd stop by, you know, before I headed out into the field.
20:04Right.
20:05Oh, what happened to your arm?
20:07Oh, it's no big deal.
20:08It's just a flesh wound.
20:11Oh, you should still treat it right away.
20:12A colleague of mine got a tiny scratch and he ended up with a really bad infection.
20:16I might even have a bandage, actually.
20:18I get cuts all the time.
20:21Voila.
20:25Here we go.
20:29There.
20:29All better.
20:33So I better get going.
20:35Because I've got to get there before the sun goes down.
20:39I'm setting up my camera at a water hole to document hierarchy interactions.
20:43And never mind.
20:45So I'll catch you.
20:48Later.
20:49Yeah.
20:50Yeah, sure.
20:51That's great.
20:52You're right.
20:59She ain't no Sheena.
21:00Man, Burke's dead.
21:01I can't believe it.
21:04Life is fleeting.
21:05Hey.
21:23You want a drink?
21:28Come on.
21:31I'll take one.
21:32Well, this is a first.
21:36I mean, you're not going to grab me by the neck and throw me up against a wall?
21:41Are we alone?
21:42Well, yeah.
21:44Except, uh, these little guys and they're here out of their own volition, I swear.
21:48Relax, Cutter.
21:57I believe you.
22:00Actually, I think I understand the situation a whole lot better now that I know.
22:05Now that you know?
22:07The Call of the Wild?
22:13Sheena.
22:17Sheena.
22:18Now, don't, don't, don't tell me that you've been hearing this, too.
22:26What, am I using a bullhorn in my sleep?
22:30Oh, man.
22:34That's why I'm here.
22:38Why waste all your energy on yelling when all you have to do is whisper?
22:43Come on, Cutter.
22:50Come on, Cutter.
22:53Say it.
22:55Say my name.
22:57Sheena.
23:00Again.
23:03Sheena.
23:04There you go.
23:05Sheena.
23:05Sheena.
23:05Sheena.
23:06Come on.
23:19Come on.
23:21Sheena.
23:21Bye-bye.
23:22Oh.
23:23That was a dream.
23:50This has got to stop.
23:53Oh.
24:12Tracy.
24:18That was a pretty wild greeting.
24:20I thought you were someone else.
24:24Someone bad.
24:29I can be bad if that's what you want.
24:34I can be very, very bad.
24:37Um, hello?
24:41Yum.
24:49Yum.
24:49Oh, yeah.
24:52Yum.
25:01Get it off!
25:12What the hell is this?
25:17Are you okay?
25:19That's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.
25:21Yeah. Hold on. Let me get you a towel.
25:24Oh, my God. Look at me. I look like I got in a knife fight.
25:29You gonna be all right?
25:31No.
25:32Did you bring any of your bandages with you?
25:34Oh, I think this is gonna take a lot more than band-aids.
25:37I gotta get back to the weigh station.
25:39Okay, um...
25:40Where did that bird come from?
25:42I think I know, and it's got a lot of explaining to do.
25:44I just... I gotta go.
25:46Let me walk you out in case it's still outside.
25:49I am so sorry.
25:52Oh, it wasn't your fault.
25:56I mean, I guess our...
25:59romantic evening will just have to wait.
26:03Oh, what is it with you, huh?
26:14It's not bad enough? You gotta invade my dreams?
26:16You gotta screw up my...
26:18my two messes, too?
26:19Why are you arguing with that bird?
26:25You thought that was me?
26:28It's not like it's out of the realm of possibilities.
26:30Last time I saw you, you were a bird.
26:32I was an eagle.
26:34That's a vulture.
26:36They're very different.
26:37I'll remember that.
26:38Next time I'm on Jeopardy.
26:41I told you not to follow the jeep.
26:43Oh, who says I followed the jeep?
26:45I saw the bullet holes on the side of the plane.
26:47Even if they were bullet holes.
26:49How do you know someone in a jeep put them there, huh?
26:51Answer me that.
26:52Mendelssohn told me.
26:53Is there no one in this entire jungle on my side?
27:01I am tired.
27:03I'm bleeding.
27:05I'm hungry.
27:07I'm frustrated.
27:08And it is all because of...
27:10What are you doing?
27:12Whose blood is on this towel besides yours?
27:15Well, you can actually identify my blood from the scent.
27:19Whose blood?
27:21Tracy's.
27:22Why?
27:23She's a seller.
27:26Sheena, wait.
27:31What are you talking about?
27:41Hey.
27:43You know, that garbage attracts vultures.
27:52Sheena!
27:53Sheena!
27:54Sheena!
27:55Sheena!
27:56Sheena!
27:57Sheena!
27:58What do you plan on doing?
27:59You can't make accusations like this without proof!
28:01I have proof.
28:02I have proof.
28:03I have proof.
28:04I have proof.
28:06Remember the gerd with blood on its fur?
28:07Yeah.
28:08That scent matched the scent on your towel.
28:09Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
28:10If I recall, you washed the blood off that gerd.
28:12So?
28:13Well, see, in order to make this proof work, you've got to have and match the blood on the
28:15towel with the blood on the gerd.
28:16And since we don't have the blood on the gerd.
28:17And since we don't have the blood or the gerd in question.
28:18I can find the gerd.
28:19Sheena, I can't go to Rasheed and tell him to arrest Tracy because some gerd ratted on
28:20her, so to speak.
28:21This Tracy is here studying Africa.
28:22Well, actually, she's an animal behaviorist doing field work for Dr.
28:24Thesis, which means she's...
28:25I know what it means.
28:27Go to Tracy and ask her for help with some help.
28:30It's a good thing.
28:31I mean, I have proof.
28:32It's a good thing.
28:33I have proof, I have proof, I have proof.
28:34I have proof that you've got to have and match the blood on the towel with the blood
28:35on the gerd.
28:36And since we don't have the blood or the gerd in question...
28:37I can find the gerd.
28:38Sheena, I can't go to Rasheed and tell him to arrest Tracy because some gerd ratted on
28:43her, so to speak.
28:44This Tracy is here studying Africa.
28:46Well, actually, she's an animal behaviorist doing field work for her doctoral thesis, which means
28:50she's...
28:51I know what it means.
28:52Go to Tracy and ask her for help with some injured jerds you found.
28:56When she tries to take them, we'll have our evidence.
28:59Will that work?
29:01Well, it beats the word of a jerd.
29:03Good.
29:22Well, I'm doing the best I can.
29:35Yeah.
29:35Uh, yeah.
29:37Um, I'll have those migration reports for you tomorrow at the latest, okay?
29:42Yeah.
29:43Bye.
29:45Hi.
29:46Am I interrupting?
29:47Uh, no, no.
29:48Actually, I'm really glad you came by.
29:50Um, Matt, um, about that earlier incident, uh...
29:54I think we both can pretend that never happened.
29:57Although, I think that will probably be pretty hard to do that.
30:02Listen, the reason I came by is I really need some help.
30:05Sure.
30:06Uh, yeah, anything I can do.
30:08Do you know what jerds are?
30:20Where's Cutter?
30:31You gonna kill him or just beat him up?
30:32We won't kill him.
30:33But if you don't tell us where he is, we will kill you.
30:36The animal way station.
30:40Oh!
30:41You're lying.
30:42Why would I do that?
30:46We'll take him with us.
30:48If Cutter's there, we'll let him go.
30:50If not, then he'll die.
30:53See, the reason I don't want to go to the authorities
31:18is because I get the feeling
31:19that they don't always believe that I tell them the truth.
31:21If I go reporting these injured jerds...
31:23Yeah, they might think you're the one that injured them.
31:26Exactly.
31:27So I was hoping that maybe you could come look at them for me.
31:29Sure.
31:30Yeah, uh, where are they?
31:32I found a trap with a few in it a couple of miles from here.
31:35Okay, great.
31:36So, um, I'll just get my vest and we'll head out.
31:39Great.
31:39Okay.
31:40Hey, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait.
31:41What?
31:42What?
31:43Oh.
31:44What?
31:44Yeah, sorry, I thought there was a bug on your forehead.
31:46I guess you'll want to replace this bandage,
31:47so I sort of took it off.
31:49Okay.
31:49I'll just...
31:51Wait a second.
31:52Sorry.
31:56So, uh, how did you find these jerds anyway?
31:59Oh, you know, the usual way.
32:01The usual way?
32:03Yeah, put an ad in the personals.
32:05Ruggish frontiersman seeks furry companions
32:07to share a love of football.
32:10Oh, is that how they got injured?
32:12You know, I told them to wear cups,
32:13but the little boogers just wouldn't listen.
32:15There's Mr. Trono.
32:23Yes, I see.
32:24With cutter.
32:25Told you.
32:26Another day, another disaster.
32:44Let's go a little further.
33:01Ah, there they are.
33:06All right.
33:08There you go.
33:09Ow, ow, ow, ow.
33:15Well, I guess it's just not your day for handling animals, is it?
33:19Well, they're hurt, so, uh...
33:22I'd better take them back to the way station.
33:25Can't you just examine them here?
33:28Oh, well, I don't have any of my equipment with me, you know.
33:32Equipment?
33:32But, uh, what equipment could you possibly need?
33:35A GERD thermometer?
33:38Cutter, you came to me for my help,
33:40and this is my field of study,
33:41so, um, why don't you just let me do what I do best, okay?
33:44I think I should call Rashid and get him to come out here.
33:48Why do you want to involve the authorities?
33:49I thought that's what you're trying to avoid.
33:51Well, it's just I'm trying to keep from moving these things around too much.
33:53I think riding in a jeep might, oh, freak them out a little too much.
33:57I know for a fact gunfire won't settle them down.
34:03Give me the cage.
34:04You gonna shoot me over a lousy cage?
34:06No, but I'd shoot you over a lousy cage full of jerks.
34:08Obviously you don't know how much these are worth.
34:10Now give me the cage.
34:11Over my dead body.
34:12That's a definite possibility.
34:16Not without these.
34:24So just clear something up for me.
34:25Are you really a Ph.D. candidate in animal behavior?
34:28Yes.
34:29Why the hell are you exploiting these animals?
34:32Are you kidding?
34:34Money.
34:35I've been a student for eight years.
34:37Eight years.
34:40And even if I do get a degree, what does that mean?
34:43More stinking jungles, more bug bites, more vulture attacks,
34:46more one-night stands with jungle gym losers like you.
34:49Hey.
34:49Don't get me wrong.
34:50It's good.
34:52I could have been good.
34:55It doesn't matter.
34:58Don't you see these rats are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars
35:04and a few shipments?
35:06And I'm set.
35:07You, of all people.
35:09Don't you think it's worth it, Cutter?
35:13Another day I might have said yes.
35:15But I made a promise to someone and I'm gonna keep it.
35:17Wow.
35:19I can't believe, uh, I can't believe I just said that.
35:31Mr. Kumar.
35:33I'm really glad you're here.
35:34I have the jerds for you.
35:35Just like I promised.
35:36How many animals are in there?
35:43I can get more.
35:44Don't worry.
35:45Three will do for now.
35:47Now shoot them both.
35:48Nope.
35:49So here's the twist.
35:50Here's your help.
35:54Come on.
35:59Let's do it.
36:01Do it.
36:01Come on.
36:02Help Me.
36:06Help me.
36:10Come on.
36:11Come on.
36:12Come on.
36:14Get out.
36:15Come on.
36:16Let's go.
36:46Let's go.
37:16Well, that'd be an owl.
37:25What happened to Tracy?
37:27Did she get away?
37:28It's being handled.
37:46What happened to Tracy?
38:16What happened to Tracy?
38:46What happened to Tracy?
38:48You need something, Cutter?
39:14Well, I just thought you'd like to know that Tracy's been sent back to the States
39:22So the La Mista's jerds can rest easy for now
39:27Until some other animal is found to be useful for man's obsession with sex
39:30You're a pretty harsh judge of something that's responsible for all of us being here
39:34Animals included
39:36So don't knock it until you've tried it
39:38Until?
39:39Well, I mean, I just assume
39:44It's none of my business
39:48Are you?
39:53I mean, have you ever?
40:02Would you answer?
40:04In your dreams
40:09I hear you, pal
40:30I hear you
40:33I hear you
41:03I hear you
41:04I hear you
41:05I hear you
41:06I hear you
41:07I hear you
41:08I hear you
41:09I hear you
41:10I hear you
41:11I hear you
41:12I hear you
41:13I hear you
41:14I hear you
41:15I hear you
41:16I hear you
41:17I hear you
41:18I hear you
41:19I hear you
41:20I hear you
41:21I hear you
41:22I hear you
41:23I hear you
41:24I hear you
41:25I hear you
41:26I hear you
41:27I hear you
41:28I hear you
41:29I hear you
41:30Love, love, love, love!
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