Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 1 week ago
Transcript
00:00:00The
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:01:00Thomas Jefferson Tyler.
00:01:20He ought to be horsewhip for using that name.
00:01:30Thomas Jefferson Tyler.
00:01:37He's probably one of those chinless hacks who bribes chambermaids to peek through keyholes.
00:01:41Thomas Jefferson Tyler.
00:02:00And he caused that writing, I suppose.
00:02:02I've seen better writing on a board fence.
00:02:04I've seen better writing on a board fence.
00:02:34Oh, there he is.
00:02:46One, please.
00:02:48That's the man I was telling you about.
00:02:50Oh.
00:02:50Oh, hello there.
00:02:57Won't you join us?
00:02:59This is Mr. What is your name again?
00:03:01Thomas.
00:03:01Tom Thomas.
00:03:02Tom Tom.
00:03:03How quaint sounds Indian.
00:03:04This is my niece, Sarah Farley.
00:03:06Good evening.
00:03:07And the Count de Guillaume.
00:03:08How do you do?
00:03:09How do you do?
00:03:10Sarah Farley of the Farley chain.
00:03:13I can hardly believe it.
00:03:15Sarah, show him a grocery store.
00:03:18You know, I've been reading those articles about you.
00:03:20Really?
00:03:20Yes.
00:03:21You see, I run a small town paper.
00:03:23And the news syndicates brought the series to my attention.
00:03:25How interesting.
00:03:27Well, naturally, I didn't touch them.
00:03:29Oh?
00:03:30Why not?
00:03:31I wouldn't print things like that.
00:03:34I think it's outrageous.
00:03:36Besides, the folks in my town are opposed to that sort of nasty writing.
00:03:40Didn't I tell you he was charming?
00:03:43Would you like to dance?
00:03:44Not now, Audrey.
00:03:45Tell me, Mr. Thomas.
00:03:47Thomas.
00:03:48Do people in small towns realize that I'm being lively?
00:03:52Of course.
00:03:54They're just like city folk, Miss Farley, except that they have a sense of fairness.
00:03:57You see, they rather like you.
00:04:00They feel that you've been a victim of circumstances and bad public relations.
00:04:05They feel that it's happened because your parents died when you were a little girl.
00:04:09Well, you need a mother, father, or husband.
00:04:14Shall we dance now, dear?
00:04:16This is a revelation, Mr. Thomas.
00:04:19I always felt that most people believed those stories.
00:04:22Oh, no.
00:04:23No, Miss Farley, you mustn't lose faith in the real people.
00:04:27They understand you.
00:04:34Sorry, I shouldn't have started all this spoiling your evening.
00:04:38I don't suppose you'd care to dance.
00:04:41I'd love.
00:04:44Excuse me.
00:04:50He's nice, don't you think?
00:04:52I do not.
00:04:53I think he's trying to take the bread right out of my mouth.
00:05:00He's stalking her now, my pigeon.
00:05:03I can tell with a look on his face.
00:05:04I can tell with a look on his face.
00:05:23I don't know.
00:05:23I can tell with a look on his face.
00:05:23I can tell him.
00:05:23hello let me speak to miss sarah farley please
00:05:32hello oh hello tonight oh no i can't mr thomas i promised count de guillon that i'd go dog
00:05:51sledding with him no dog sledding okay i'll try you again some other time have fun with the dogs
00:06:02thanks and you will call me again good goodbye
00:06:07hello get me the sports desk
00:06:22oh sports desk this is mr thomas speaking i'd like to talk to someone in charge of dog sleds
00:06:27oh oh i see well have him call me as soon as he comes in will you it's very important a matter
00:06:34of life and death thanks
00:06:56oh
00:07:04no speak english me esquimo and what are you doing here oh i'm an old dog driver from way back
00:07:34oh mr thomas
00:07:45mr thomas are you all right
00:07:49why'd you have to slug me i didn't you slugged yourself on that tree was i out long not long can
00:07:56you sit up yes
00:08:00you're hurt it's nothing at all just a compound fracture of the skull
00:08:04well i guess i deserved it though for playing the smart alec
00:08:08you need first aid i need peace and quiet come on get up
00:08:12you better start back to the lodge if we can find it look look there's one of those emergency ski
00:08:23cabins how very convenient mr thomas well we can at least keep warm until they find this
00:08:39keep still
00:08:45how can i if you keep poking into it i'm trying to decide if it's too deep for iodine iodine in my
00:08:51first aid course they don't never mind it's it's just a scratch believe me thank you anyway i have
00:08:57something much better well you came very well equipped mr thomas do we pour it on your head is
00:09:04that the way you like it there's nothing wrong with my head i don't know you're probably suffering
00:09:09from shock and exposure oh no just curiosity you went to quite some pains to get me alone
00:09:16why pains is right but that tree wasn't in the script oh here hold these men
00:09:26i hope you won't laugh at me miss farley but
00:09:32i've written an article about you for for my little paper you too yes well i wouldn't think of
00:09:36publishing it without having you read it first that's the new wrinkle anyway so that's why i
00:09:40wanted an hour or so alone with you here if you don't mind this is a begins rent
00:09:49few people know the true story behind sarah farley she's been hurt deeply hurt by all the
00:09:55forces always arrayed against inherited wealth
00:09:57she's a fine warm human being who has been taught to conceal her true emotions behind an icy wall
00:10:16well you like it how could i help liking it but you're not really going to print this mr thomas you
00:10:23know i think it's time someone printed your side of the story the sort of repuntal to people like
00:10:26that that tyler oh let's forget him here's to tyler may you drop dead
00:10:35well is it accurate have i my facts straight well this isn't true that i'm engaged andre de guillon
00:10:40he's just an amusing companion and up here why don't you go through the whole thing tell me the real
00:10:46story then i can use quotes make it authentic you see with quotes from you we can make that stuff
00:10:51that tyler's been writing looks sick well if you like i'm not really that interesting oh you are to
00:10:57me go on tell me everything from the beginning and sometimes i wish i'd been born poor and then i kick
00:11:07myself and say don't be an idiot because i'm fond of all the things money can buy too even andre who
00:11:13comes high prices being what they are these days you see it's a very dull and prosaic story and i've
00:11:19talked about myself much too long oh no no i could listen to you all night i've never told anyone
00:11:24these things before have you enough your article plenty i have your permission to quote you of course
00:11:29now this is dynamite for tyler that is here's to tyler may he drop dead
00:11:38i hate to think what he'd do with some of those quotes
00:11:41well he uh he probably sees things from a slightly different angle yes through a keyhole
00:11:46oh why uh i wouldn't be too hard on tyler he has to make a living after all not as far as i'm
00:11:52concerned he doesn't well i i do happen to know that he has a fine record as a war correspondent that
00:11:58makes it even worse that he should stoop so low and let's not waste any more time talking about him
00:12:03well this article will fix him but good you're not very experienced in newspaper work are you mr thomas
00:12:10uh tom aren't you tom i make a living at it don't print that article what it'll only make you look
00:12:20foolish me in the first place it simply isn't good journalism i know tom i'm the expert they started in
00:12:30on me when i was in kindergarten when i won a prize for deportment there wasn't a line about it but it
00:12:34was front page news when i tried to scratch the eyes out of that little beast of a vandermeer girl
00:12:40the great reading public isn't interested in normal human beings they want freaks served up with all
00:12:45the trimmings in the second place you know what they'll say about you tyler and people like that
00:12:50that i took you in made a fool of you even that i paid you to write about me favorably
00:12:55i'm grateful to you tom for wanting to do it but it just isn't worth it
00:13:00do you care what they say about me miss farney sarah do you sarah yes i do don't why oh i don't know
00:13:10because because you're such a bad dog driver and because you get hurt so easily i don't want you
00:13:17to get hit for my sake then you'll become warped and cynical like the rest of them you're too nice for
00:13:22that why are you looking at me like that tom as if you've never seen me before maybe it's the whiskey
00:13:37or the crack on the head i took maybe it's just you
00:13:41i guess we're being rescued i'm afraid we are
00:14:04tom's room's over there
00:14:11come in
00:14:24good morning sir oh good morning a little early aren't you it's nine o'clock your usual time
00:14:30sort of overslept yourself didn't you had a big night i guess you was at the fire
00:14:35what fire the old courthouse at three four here in the local paper burned to the ground nothing
00:14:41left of it a lot of folks went over from the lodge
00:14:47yes sir we'll miss the old courthouse a lot of sun valley romances wound up there
00:14:52you know we used to have two or three weddings a season regular gretchen green you might say
00:14:56uh will that be all sir yes yes that'll be i'll sign that later
00:15:03oh uh hello let me speak to miss sarah farley please
00:15:16miss farley left word that she was not to be awakened until she called may i take a message
00:15:20no no no that'll be all right thanks
00:15:24but hello give me the transportation desk transportation desk when is the next train
00:15:29out of here 9 35 sir well this is mr thomas speaking can you get me a reservation on it anything
00:15:35but that's in half an hour i'll be ready can you get me on it yes sir thanks
00:15:49where are they i'm starving so am i i'll look and see
00:16:03andre is but i don't see tom why don't you and andre go ahead and have lunch well
00:16:18have you seen tom no i haven't and as a matter of fact i don't think you will either why not i'm
00:16:25quiet at the desk and found he's checked out checked out about an hour ago without even saying anything
00:16:31why would he do that he had his reasons
00:16:55andre have you that wedding ring you're always flashing at me why yes saturday i have it right
00:17:04here this is so sudden i only want to borrow it now sir lying sneaking brute twisting everything i say
00:17:13how was sun valley did you see tom tyler did you see tom tyler
00:17:36well it was the most surprising thing it was love at first sight it happened at sun valley
00:17:41at first i disliked him but he swept me off my feet and we were married at last i found a man with
00:17:49whom i can be really happy and to prove my love i've i've settled a million loans a million
00:17:55who is the count oh no oh it's us well who is it come on tom tom who tom tom better known as
00:18:04thomas jefferson tone oh no where is he hey are you kidding how long has this been gone hey come on
00:18:18we look wonderful jess you too i did nothing but sleep on the train didn't you turn out any more
00:18:23coffee yes we caught up on all the other stuff yes i did one more than the local gazette ran my
00:18:27picture and i had to beat it thank you in a way the public has always misunderstood her few people
00:18:39know the true story behind sarah farley she has been hurt deeply hurt by all the forces always arrayed
00:18:45against inherited wealth you call this a detached viewpoint you know i got a different slant it reads
00:18:51like a testimonial she is a fine warm human being who has been taught to conceal her true emotions
00:18:59behind an icy wall well let me tell you something duffy she's not the kind of girl we thought she was
00:19:03what are you doing that for let me get him out of here here why
00:19:33get him out or i'll print the next edition in his blood oh no wait a minute let's speak to me
00:19:39you benedict donald no but this isn't true it's a lie it's a whole they get him out of here come
00:19:43on will you no i'm not going this is ridiculous you don't believe this duffy are you in the back
00:19:49i wouldn't believe your dying confess i'll get her on the phone i'll prove it not on one of our phones
00:19:53get mr sarah farley out of here trying to i'm trying to explain two men like working here
00:19:58yeah why sure well he doesn't work here anymore so if you want to keep on working here throw him out
00:20:02shut up a minute please hello hello is this the farley well all right all right i'll use the phone
00:20:11booth in the hall out
00:20:20tom are you sure am i sure what you didn't fall for of course i didn't she's not a woman she's a
00:20:26corporate structure she asked for it and she'll get it i'll write a series of articles about her
00:20:32that'll burn her to a crisp for what paper what's that remember that we fired you i can get another
00:20:38job i wonder after everything that's happened all right then i'll do the series for for pravda
00:20:44they'll eat it up typical capitalist behavior oh tom be serious the sensible thing is to demand a
00:20:49retraction from her not a chance from the papers that ran the story yeah i guess you're right
00:20:56i could do that good will you drop me off at my place wire the papers and then try and get a good
00:21:01night's sleep good night
00:21:15get away now
00:21:29Go out and mind your own business.
00:21:32Mrs. Riley!
00:21:36Mrs. Riley!
00:21:40Mrs. Riley!
00:21:42You get out of here, you bunch of food.
00:21:45This is our respectable house, and I don't want any trouble, but I need you.
00:21:49Thank you, Mrs. Riley.
00:21:51Mr. Tyler, you rascal, you.
00:21:54Oh, no, please, Mrs. Riley.
00:21:55You never said a word about it, you sly boots.
00:21:59You dear boy, I could kiss you.
00:22:02Oh, no, you don't, don't you dare come into my house.
00:22:06You get out of here, you hear me?
00:22:14Hello, get me Western Union.
00:22:17Hello, Western Union.
00:22:18This is Lexington 21598.
00:22:21Yeah, I want to send a telegram to the Courier, Dispatch, Observer, all the New York newspapers.
00:22:25That's right.
00:22:26Now, this is the message.
00:22:27I categorically didn't...
00:22:30Hmm?
00:22:31Oh, never mind.
00:22:32I positively deny that I am married to Sarah Farley.
00:22:36I demand an immediate retraction and apology.
00:22:39Signed, Thomas Jefferson Tyler.
00:22:42Of course it's the truth!
00:22:44You send it just the way I gave it to you.
00:22:47All right.
00:22:47We want Tyler!
00:22:51We want Tyler!
00:22:53We want Tyler!
00:22:54We want Tyler!
00:22:55Slicko, gentlemen, gives the hair that smooth gloss that makes you irresistible to the ladies.
00:23:11As irresistible as Romeo was to Juliet, as Anthony was to Cleopatra, as Tom Tom Tyler was to Sarah Farley.
00:23:19Dedicating the next number to this romantic pair, you will now hear a new recording of an old favorite.
00:23:25Thanks, a million.
00:23:38Who is it?
00:23:40It's me, Mrs. Riley.
00:23:46Are you alone?
00:23:48Yes, dear.
00:23:52Come in.
00:23:53I made your breakfast myself.
00:23:57Don't mind about that.
00:23:58Did you get those papers?
00:23:58Julia.
00:24:08Mr. Tyler, I hope you'll disregard that foolish note I sent you about last month's rent.
00:24:15I should have realized your head was up in the clouds, and you had no time for sordid and mundane things.
00:24:23Is something wrong, Mr. Tyler?
00:24:43Everything's wrong.
00:24:44Oh, I can't be that bad, Mr. Tyler.
00:24:46A little tear for lover's spat.
00:24:48I always say the course of true love never runs smoothly.
00:24:52A little sun and a little shade makes the fairest day.
00:24:55Get out of here.
00:24:56Oh, Mr. Tyler.
00:24:56Get out.
00:24:57Mr. Tyler.
00:24:57Get out of here right now.
00:24:59It's a good thing you've got a million dollars.
00:25:01Get out.
00:25:01Get out of here right now.
00:25:31Mr. Tyler, only $1,500 and it's yours.
00:25:55Take it away. I'm not in class.
00:25:57But you don't understand, Mr. Tyler. It works.
00:26:01Hi, Finley.
00:26:10Hello, Finley.
00:26:14Well, this is crazy.
00:26:18Look, you've got to explain to him.
00:26:19I can't. You know, Duffy, he won't listen.
00:26:21Here, Joe.
00:26:22How's it going, Cinderella man?
00:26:24You don't happen to have a couple of grand and small bills on you, do you?
00:26:27Lay off, Betty. Duffy's fired him.
00:26:29So, he's an unemployed millionaire. My heart bleeds.
00:26:31Joe, I'd rather drink some Mr. Farley.
00:26:33Wait a minute. If I'm not married...
00:26:34Have a fight already? How can you argue with a million bucks?
00:26:38Maybe he doesn't want to get measured for his polo melon.
00:26:40Well, here's mother in your spats.
00:26:42Why don't you do that?
00:26:43Take your entire jokes back to the bar.
00:26:45Listen, Tom, why don't you go home?
00:26:49If Sarah's there, maybe she'll convince you, too.
00:26:53Well, anyway, go home.
00:26:55If Duffy comes in here, there's going to be trouble.
00:26:56No, I can't go home.
00:26:57The hall's full of guys trying to sell me things.
00:27:00Real estate, insurance, perpetual motion machines, yachts.
00:27:04How can I prove I'm not married to that dame?
00:27:07How would you prove it?
00:27:08I'm married already.
00:27:10My wife hasn't got a yacht to her name.
00:27:12Jess, will you marry me?
00:27:23What?
00:27:24I said, will you marry me?
00:27:26It'll prove it, don't you see?
00:27:28I'm not going to marry you just to prove that you're not married to her.
00:27:30Now, look, all your life you've been railing against her kind of woman.
00:27:33Useless, troublemakers, parasites.
00:27:35You're not going to let her get away with this, are you?
00:27:37Well, I don't...
00:27:37Oh, please, Jess, see it my way.
00:27:38We can go right down to City Hall.
00:27:40Hey, what is this?
00:27:42Please, Jess.
00:27:45Let's go.
00:27:46I'll tell Duffy.
00:27:47You phone from the City Hall.
00:27:48I'll call you from down there.
00:27:49Cinderella man, wait there.
00:27:51Here's about this.
00:27:52Yes, ma'am, Kong.
00:27:52We're going to ride down with you.
00:27:55Hello?
00:27:56I want to speak to Miss Sarah Farley, Johnson of the Courier.
00:28:00Oh.
00:28:01But just tell her her husband's getting married.
00:28:04That's what I said.
00:28:05He just went down to the City Hall.
00:28:07Oh.
00:28:07Look, I don't know what kind of license you fellas want, but this ain't the place for it.
00:28:19What's keeping the clerk?
00:28:22Probably can't read your signature on the application.
00:28:24Thomas Jefferson, Tyler, and Jessica Wood?
00:28:26Yes.
00:28:27Mr. Conor and the Chief Kirk would like to see you in his office.
00:28:30Right this way.
00:28:34What's up?
00:28:35Chief Kirk don't confide in me.
00:28:41You can't go in there.
00:28:42Mr. Conor, come on.
00:28:43Give us a hand.
00:28:44You Thomas Jefferson, Tyler, Jessica Woods?
00:28:48Yes.
00:28:48These are the two that applied for the license, Fisher?
00:28:51Yes, sir.
00:28:52What's this all about?
00:28:53You may not know it, Miss Woods, but this man already has a wife.
00:28:56I have not.
00:28:57He's marrying me.
00:28:58He's married to Sarah Farley.
00:28:59Here it is all over the front page.
00:29:01I'm not married to anybody, and I insist that you give me a license.
00:29:03I can't be a party to a conspiracy to commit bigamy.
00:29:06You got any proof that you're not married to Sarah Farley?
00:29:10You know no one can prove that they're not married.
00:29:12Nobody issues certificates of non-marriage.
00:29:14You got to take my word for it.
00:29:16I'm not married to Sarah Farley.
00:29:18Tom, Tom.
00:29:19How can you say that?
00:29:23We had a little quarrel.
00:29:25I'm sorry, darling, and I forgive you.
00:29:27You forgive me?
00:29:28Now, you cut this out.
00:29:29Oh, this must be so awkward for you, my dear.
00:29:31I'm terribly sorry, but Tom, Tom is married to me.
00:29:34When were we married?
00:29:35Have you forgotten already?
00:29:37Where were we married?
00:29:38Oh, you shouldn't do this to me, and on our honeymoon, too,
00:29:40just because you're angry with me, it's so embarrassing.
00:29:43Where were we married?
00:29:44Don't shout, dear.
00:29:46We shouldn't hear our quarrels in public.
00:29:48She's lying.
00:29:49I'm not married to Miss Farley,
00:29:50and I insisted you give me a license to marry Miss Wood.
00:29:52Stop shouting at me.
00:29:53You ought to be ashamed of yourself, pulling such a scurvy drink.
00:29:55Listen, you're here to serve the public.
00:29:56I'm one of the public, and I insist on my rights.
00:29:58Take him out.
00:29:59You're denying me my rights by force.
00:30:00That man is setting up a moral censorship
00:30:02when all he was ever commissioned to do
00:30:04was to grant licenses to citizens.
00:30:09I just don't understand it, Jess.
00:30:11I'm absolutely innocent.
00:30:13Yet I lost my job.
00:30:14Can't go home.
00:30:15I can't even get married.
00:30:17No civil rights.
00:30:18I'm like a man without a country.
00:30:21Also, I'm hungry.
00:30:22Let's have dinner at my place.
00:30:24Have any money?
00:30:25I think I'd spend it all on taxi fare.
00:30:30We have four dollars.
00:30:31Come on.
00:30:32Oh, fine.
00:30:32Fine.
00:30:55Jess, this is a Farley store.
00:31:11Look, there's the caviar.
00:31:13Come on, here.
00:31:14Give me a hand at these.
00:31:16These, huh?
00:31:17Tommy, you only had four dollars.
00:31:19Never mind about the money.
00:31:21I'm married to a rich woman.
00:31:22Come on, bring your basket along here.
00:31:24Wait, we'll get another one.
00:31:25Tommy, you'll never get away with this.
00:31:27Huh?
00:31:28Sure, I will.
00:31:29We can't possibly need all this stuff.
00:31:31Never mind.
00:31:31We'll put it away someplace.
00:31:34Ready, Mike?
00:31:39Three, six, and a five.
00:31:42Where do you keep the champagne?
00:31:43No champagne, sir.
00:31:44No champagne?
00:31:45Five, seventy, five.
00:31:46Low type of store.
00:31:47Probably have bowl weevils in the flower.
00:31:49Five, eleven.
00:31:50Oh, no, sir.
00:31:51Six, eighty, five.
00:31:53Nine...
00:31:53Oh, you can stop that counting.
00:31:54That isn't necessary.
00:31:55Three, two, three, forty.
00:31:57Oh, yes, sir.
00:31:59I have to.
00:31:59Nine, forty, nine, thirty.
00:32:01You don't think I'm going to pay for this, do you?
00:32:03I own this stuff.
00:32:07Fifteen, eighty.
00:32:08Mr. Bissell.
00:32:12Mr. Bissell.
00:32:14Yes?
00:32:15Four, twenty, four, twenty.
00:32:16This man doesn't want to pay.
00:32:23Sir, let's have no trifling with the clerks, if you please.
00:32:26Perhaps you don't know who I am.
00:32:28Here.
00:32:29Take a look at that.
00:32:33Mr. Farley.
00:32:35Well, I mean, Mr. Tyler.
00:32:36Well, well, this is an honor to be chosen out of all the Farley stores.
00:32:43I'm so pleased, Miss Farley.
00:32:45I'm not, Miss Farley.
00:32:47This is Miss Woods, my fianc├йe.
00:32:48How do you do, Miss?
00:32:50Fianc├йe?
00:32:51But you're...
00:32:51My wife is very broad-minded.
00:32:53Five, fifty, two, thirty...
00:32:56Stop counting.
00:32:59Oh, I've lost count.
00:33:01Never mind.
00:33:02I hope...
00:33:03I mean...
00:33:05Well, congratulations.
00:33:12Pick up a couple of bags, Jessica, dear, and let's go home to dinner.
00:33:16There we are.
00:33:17Good night.
00:33:22I don't know what we're going to do with all this stuff.
00:33:25You can give it away if you like.
00:33:26There's plenty more where this came from.
00:33:28We could start another grocery store.
00:33:30Well, this has great possibilities.
00:33:35Jessica, this has even greater possibilities.
00:33:39Like what?
00:33:40Can't...
00:33:41Sonny?
00:33:43Huh?
00:33:45Here, is that your sister?
00:33:46Uh-huh.
00:33:46Now, you throw that home to Mother now.
00:33:48Gee.
00:33:49Oh, thanks.
00:33:50I won't be home to dinner, dear.
00:33:52Where are you going?
00:33:54I'm going to call on my wife.
00:33:55I won't be home to her.
00:34:21yes hello is mrs tyler in who sir i'm mr tyler miss farley's husband oh yes sir won't you
00:34:38please come in miss sarah i mean mrs tyler didn't tell me you were coming my congratulations thank
00:34:45you i'm barrett sir oh thank you barrett is she in no sir she's out for the evening well i'll see
00:34:52her later do you have a spare room for me oh certainly sir adjoining mrs tyler sir this way
00:35:00please may i say sir that the staff was delighted with your articles you like them i saw right
00:35:13through them sir i even predicted the marriage sir won 180 from the staff are they paid off yet
00:35:22they will at the end of the month sir it was child's play
00:35:25i recognize it immediately sir a kind of left-handed romance the devastating criticism of a man in love
00:35:35nice deduction rather obvious if i may say so sir the writer of those articles was trying to avoid
00:35:42showing his affection you happen to know where she went barrett he's dining at the witsons the
00:35:50where the witsons sir the witsons yes sir this one sir miss sarah's parents left mr witson in charge
00:36:06of the poly chain frankly say he doesn't know his wholesale from his retail
00:36:11where the witson residence yes sir is miss sarah farley here who shall i say is calling sir mr tom tom tyler
00:36:40The Cinderella Man.
00:36:41I'm Miss Farley's husband.
00:36:47Darling.
00:36:50Mr. Tom Tom Tyler.
00:36:55It's your last chance to call it off.
00:36:57No.
00:36:58You'll have to excuse us.
00:36:59We're still on our honeymoon.
00:37:06Well, dear, you might at least introduce me.
00:37:08Oh, this is Mrs. Whitson, our hostess.
00:37:12Oh, Mrs. Whitson, how do you do?
00:37:13I understood you were too ill to accept tonight, Mr. Tyler.
00:37:17Oh, he is. He's going right home.
00:37:19Oh, Judy.
00:37:19Well, I should say now, I feel wonderful.
00:37:22My husband, Mr. Tyler.
00:37:23Oh, how do you do, Mr. Whitson?
00:37:25First one I've missed in years.
00:37:28And Mr. and Mrs. Vickers.
00:37:30How do you do, Mrs. Vickers?
00:37:31Mr. Vickers, how do you do?
00:37:33And my favorite auntie, hello.
00:37:35Is it true that you've given up newspaper work?
00:37:37Yes, dear.
00:37:37I'm going in for pigeon hunting.
00:37:42Miss Clayton.
00:37:43Oh, Miss Clayton.
00:37:44How do you do?
00:37:45Mr. Sharp.
00:37:45How do you do?
00:37:46Oh, and Count Andr├й de Guillaume.
00:37:48Why, Andr├й, how are you?
00:37:50Good evening.
00:37:50Mrs. Whitson, this sounds like a wonderful party.
00:37:53I always have wanted to mingle with a filthy rich.
00:37:58But, you know, I can't afford one of those monkey suits.
00:38:00And Sarah hasn't bought me my trousseau yet.
00:38:02Darling, you know, you look feverish.
00:38:04I really don't think you should stay.
00:38:06Oh, no.
00:38:07I feel like a million dollars.
00:38:09A million dollars.
00:38:11That's pretty good, huh?
00:38:12The old bean's working fine.
00:38:14Oh, dear.
00:38:14Thank you very much.
00:38:15Uncle.
00:38:16Get out of here.
00:38:18Not unless you call her uncle and make a public statement that we're not married.
00:38:21Not on your life.
00:38:25No.
00:38:29No.
00:38:29No, thanks.
00:38:31I'll stick with my peanuts.
00:38:34Goobers, they call them where I come from.
00:38:36And where is that, Mr. Tyler?
00:38:39Oh, the hills of West Virginia.
00:38:41God's own country.
00:38:43Yep, I grew up there as a barefoot boy with nothing more than a green thumb and a natural talent for making an eighth the hard way.
00:38:49But it's all right.
00:38:50I got Sarah.
00:38:51Ow!
00:38:52His foot just happened to fit the glass slipper.
00:38:55You know, it's funny.
00:38:56Ma always used to say, marry a rich girl.
00:38:58Feather your nest, she said.
00:38:59It can't hurt.
00:39:01She was right.
00:39:02Guess she must still be watching over me.
00:39:04Has your mother passed on, Mr. Tyler?
00:39:07Oh, no, no, no.
00:39:08She's still up there in the cabin on the mountain.
00:39:11The old witty of Mount Baldy, they call her.
00:39:13Well, she's about 70 now.
00:39:15Frail and white-haired.
00:39:17Well, I can see her there now.
00:39:19Smoking that old corncob pipe the dad left her.
00:39:23You know, Sarah, we'll have her come and live with us.
00:39:26She's a wonderful gal.
00:39:28Well, she'd choose tobacco just like dad.
00:39:30Only better.
00:39:31She can drown a beetle at 20 paces.
00:39:33Oh, she's...
00:39:34You'll love her.
00:39:35Yes, from the stories Tom tells me, Mother Tyler's terribly quite independent.
00:39:39Tell them about the time she shot the government agent.
00:39:43Oh, well, you don't have to hide anything here.
00:39:46We have tax trouble, too.
00:39:48Or do you think it would be carrying things too far?
00:39:52Why, no, no.
00:39:53You mean about the time that the revenuers surrounded the still and Ma came out with...
00:39:57That was the time.
00:39:58Well, sure.
00:39:59Now, come on.
00:39:59You get over there and pretend that you're the agent.
00:40:01Oh, no.
00:40:02Why don't you let Mrs. Vickers be the agent?
00:40:04Well, if you insist.
00:40:05Um...
00:40:05Why?
00:40:07Oh!
00:40:07Oops, we busted our beads.
00:40:09Well, don't worry about that.
00:40:10There's plenty more where those came from.
00:40:12You know, I never could resist these stories because I'm mighty proud of my family's doings.
00:40:15Oh, now, Mrs. V, if you would just step right over here and pretend like you're one of those government varmints hiding behind an old pine tree, he'd have to pick a big one just like you would.
00:40:24Why?
00:40:25That's all right.
00:40:25Just step right back here.
00:40:26That's fine.
00:40:27Now, you stay there.
00:40:28Ma was down by the cabin standing guard with her squirrel gun.
00:40:32Oh.
00:40:34Um, Ma was quite a shot when she was sober.
00:40:37Oh, Uncle Porter.
00:40:38He's my half-wit uncle with the hives.
00:40:39Uncle Porter was heating up the mash and starting him to sweat out about a 40-gallon of the prettiest Mountain Dew that ever invited snakes to a picnic.
00:40:47Well, Ma suddenly spies that government varmint.
00:40:50His treasury pallor give him away.
00:40:52So she throws a sight on him and...
00:40:55Hey!
00:40:57Hey!
00:40:57Hey!
00:41:09Hey!
00:41:36Not tonight, dear.
00:41:42Good night.
00:42:06Well, it's about time.
00:42:12How did you get in here?
00:42:13Where have you been since your rude exit from the Whitsons?
00:42:15Why, I was at store club with Andre.
00:42:16The store club, a fine thing.
00:42:18Get out of here right now.
00:42:20Remember the servants?
00:42:21What are you doing here?
00:42:23I've been waiting for you for hours.
00:42:25I made some sandwiches, I brought you some milk, and then I waited some more.
00:42:28How did I know you weren't killed or something?
00:42:30You worried about me.
00:42:31Well, if you'd been killed, I'd never been able to prove I wasn't married to you.
00:42:36Now will you go home?
00:42:43Oh, but I am home.
00:42:44I live here.
00:42:46I'm Mr. Farley, or your Mrs. Tyler, remember?
00:42:49Oh, fine wife you are.
00:42:51Still a bride, and already you're out with another man.
00:42:58Are you going to marry this de Guillaume?
00:43:00That's none of your business.
00:43:01No answer.
00:43:06I gave all the servants the night off.
00:43:08You gave them the night off?
00:43:10Sure.
00:43:11I'm the new man of the house.
00:43:13Oh, I'll call the police.
00:43:15Good.
00:43:16Tell them I'm not your husband.
00:43:17Please, don't let me go through life with that blot on my record.
00:43:20You may as well get this straight.
00:43:22You're not going to get out of this.
00:43:24I'm going to devote my life to making you miserable.
00:43:28Especially after what you did at the Whitsons tonight.
00:43:30Well, I just showed pride in my family.
00:43:33Have a goober?
00:43:36You're going to get out of here if I have to throw you out myself.
00:43:39Wrong build.
00:43:40Nice, but wrong for the job.
00:43:42Why don't you try slugging me with a few old diamonds?
00:43:46Hey, hey, no, no.
00:43:47Hey.
00:43:48Hey, look out.
00:43:49Hey, put those down.
00:43:51Wait a minute.
00:43:51Have you gone crazy?
00:43:52Let me go.
00:43:57Now, you listen to me.
00:43:58I lost my job.
00:43:59My friends hoot at me.
00:44:00My girl feels foolish.
00:44:01And you get playful.
00:44:04Now, listen.
00:44:05You just listen to me for a minute, and then I'll let you talk.
00:44:07Okay?
00:44:08Did you hear me?
00:44:10All right.
00:44:11Now, first of all, I smell like the Rose Parade.
00:44:16That's your opinion.
00:44:18Let's stop being silly and get serious.
00:44:19Oh, certainly.
00:44:20When you get hurt, it's serious.
00:44:22Now, my attorneys happen to have checked on you.
00:44:25And you haven't learned to make an eight the hard way.
00:44:28You're a fair writer, but you're unscrupulous.
00:44:31And you're a wolf.
00:44:33That's a lie.
00:44:34Stella, Joan, Lucy, Martha, Tilly, Patsy, Lucille.
00:44:38Dee Dee?
00:44:38Poppy, Vera, Nancy, and Jessica.
00:44:41A round dozen.
00:44:44I see you like the athletic type, too.
00:44:47Dee Dee.
00:44:48A pitcher on a girl's baseball team.
00:44:51Probably had quite a wind-up.
00:44:53And Tilly, professionally known as the titillating twister from Tennessee.
00:44:57You gave her a fox scarf and then took it back.
00:45:00She gave it back.
00:45:01Oh, yes.
00:45:02She decided you weren't steady enough.
00:45:03No sense of responsibility.
00:45:06A gangster's mall, too.
00:45:09Don't remember, Patsy?
00:45:10You had to go into hiding until her boyfriend got caught.
00:45:13Remember?
00:45:13Yeah, well, I was just after a story.
00:45:17Anyhow, she was in hiding with me.
00:45:18Don't brag.
00:45:19Two FBI men were with you.
00:45:23According to the record, you're much worse than I am.
00:45:25So where do you get the right to criticize me in print?
00:45:30Okay.
00:45:31You through?
00:45:32Not with you.
00:45:33You're going to be mud in the public eye until I change my mind, Cinderella man.
00:45:39Sure?
00:45:40Mm-hmm.
00:45:40Positive.
00:45:41Mm-hmm.
00:45:41Okay, darling.
00:45:45I give in.
00:45:45I surrender.
00:45:46I'm your husband.
00:45:48Put out the cat, dear, and let's turn off the lights.
00:45:52Well, what are you so surprised about?
00:45:54I'm still your husband.
00:45:55Now, wait a minute.
00:45:57Come to your tom-tom.
00:45:59Go away!
00:46:01You maniac!
00:46:02What I love you, dear, is I have a legal right to do.
00:46:05Go away!
00:46:06Stop it!
00:46:06Do you want the fact to be a farce, a travesty, unconjugal bliss?
00:46:09Didn't you promise to love and cherish me?
00:46:11Well...
00:46:12All right, all right.
00:46:19You win.
00:46:20A signed statement that I'm not married to you, hmm?
00:46:22All right.
00:46:24I'll sign it in the morning.
00:46:25Now get home.
00:46:26Now we're going right down to the Chronicle office now.
00:46:28There's plenty of time for the late edition.
00:46:29But I've got to see my lawyer.
00:46:31I can't sign anything.
00:46:33Now.
00:46:34All right.
00:46:35And this better not be a gag, darling.
00:46:37Hello?
00:46:38Hello, Duffy?
00:46:39Listen, I'm bringing Sarah Farley right down to the Chronicle office.
00:46:42Yeah.
00:46:42Meet me there.
00:46:43You'll get her signed statement and a story to top all Farley stories.
00:46:46Well, what are you in a huff about?
00:46:59I'm the injured party.
00:47:00After all, other reporters wrote things about you, too.
00:47:02Why pick on me?
00:47:03Because you pried into my personal life, wormed your way into my confidence, and then twisted
00:47:08everything I said.
00:47:09Well, it was my job.
00:47:14Well, I'm still hungry.
00:47:18It's occurred to me I could have used a sandwich myself.
00:47:21And there's a lunchroom up ahead.
00:47:24They say truck drivers always find the places that serve good food.
00:47:26You know, in a way, this has sort of been fun.
00:47:39Well, shall we, uh, shall we go?
00:47:41No.
00:47:43I mean, down to the paper.
00:47:44I understood you.
00:47:45I said no.
00:47:46Well, we've got to get there before the deadline.
00:47:47Duffy will be waiting for us.
00:47:48No!
00:47:50Sarah, you're not going to start this all over again.
00:47:52I'm not going.
00:47:54Don't shush me.
00:47:55Sarah, please.
00:47:55I've changed my mind.
00:48:02Fine thing.
00:48:03Every time I eat, you get richer.
00:48:10Let go of me, you monster!
00:48:12No.
00:48:13Don't you dare hit me!
00:48:14Why not?
00:48:14You're my wife.
00:48:15What's up, bud?
00:48:16No, it's just a little family argument.
00:48:17She's my wife.
00:48:18I am not.
00:48:19What?
00:48:20Repeat that.
00:48:21Louder.
00:48:22Listen, you're a witness.
00:48:23Are you going to stand there and let him hit me?
00:48:25Nope.
00:48:25They're married, Hoyman.
00:48:27It's legal.
00:48:27Don't mix in.
00:48:28Who's mixing?
00:48:31You smell nice.
00:48:33What you got on?
00:48:33I'll get some for my wife.
00:48:38Sarah, now.
00:48:40Hoyman, I'm chairman of the local, ain't I?
00:48:42I said we don't mix in.
00:48:44Now, wait.
00:48:44Just a minute.
00:48:45You keep out of this.
00:48:47I got a right to disagree, don't I?
00:48:49What about the bylaws?
00:48:50Gentlemen, please.
00:48:51Let's take a vote.
00:48:52What's the resolution?
00:48:53You, we got a right to mix in another union's trouble.
00:48:55That's the resolution.
00:48:56Get me the sheriff's office.
00:48:57Please, gentlemen.
00:48:58Excuse us, lady.
00:48:59It's illegal.
00:49:00Influence the voting.
00:49:01Two-thirds vote or simple majority?
00:49:02Majority.
00:49:03I'd like some discussion on this subject.
00:49:05Point of information.
00:49:05Now, gentlemen, just a minute.
00:49:06He's calling you a gentleman, so answer him, stupid.
00:49:10Are you a member of the truck driver's local?
00:49:12Well, no.
00:49:13Well, then, shut up.
00:49:15Oh, Sarah, wait a minute, bud.
00:49:17We ain't even...
00:49:17Oh, but she's going...
00:49:18Wait a minute.
00:49:19You started this.
00:49:20Now, you can wait till we count the votes.
00:49:21Have you done let him...
00:49:22You shouldn't have done it, Hoyman.
00:49:39He was out of order, wasn't he?
00:49:40Well, you should have fielded the chair.
00:49:42Oh, you...
00:49:43Now, lady, at that parliamentary...
00:49:47I warned you, Hoyman.
00:49:48It's purely jurisdiction, just like you said.
00:49:51Mom!
00:49:52You would have a glass jaw.
00:49:57Mom, wake up.
00:50:00Wake up.
00:50:01What's the matter with you?
00:50:03Mom!
00:50:13I won't be long.
00:50:23Come on, get up there.
00:50:24Here comes his honor.
00:50:25I can't see why they have to get you up at all hours, Homer.
00:50:30I've got to do my duty, Martha.
00:50:32A regular crime wave we've been having.
00:50:37Court's in session.
00:50:38What's the charge, Sheriff?
00:50:40Disturbing the peace, rioting, drunken disorderly, and assault.
00:50:43But this is ridiculous.
00:50:44It'll be five dollars for five days.
00:50:46But it isn't true.
00:50:47I was merely trying...
00:50:47No, it's ten dollars for ten days.
00:50:50But I have a right to see a lawyer.
00:50:52Now it's twenty dollars for twenty days.
00:50:54And if you want to make it more, just keep on talking.
00:50:57But you can't do this to her, Judge.
00:50:59Don't you know who she is?
00:51:00Don't know and I don't care.
00:51:01Now it's thirty dollars for thirty days.
00:51:04But this is Sarah Farley, the grocery store heiress.
00:51:06Sixty?
00:51:07She'll take this courthouse and...
00:51:08Tom, stop it, please.
00:51:11I'll pay.
00:51:12How much is it?
00:51:13Sixty dollars, like the judge said.
00:51:15Well, I haven't any money with me, but if you'll let me use the phone...
00:51:20Lock her up, Nan.
00:51:22What's so funny?
00:51:24I was just thinking about you and your millions.
00:51:26I shouldn't think you'd laugh.
00:51:27Now I can't make that statement to your editor.
00:51:30It's too late for the morning papers, but I'll bail you out tomorrow in time to sign it.
00:51:33Why, you...
00:51:34None of that, now. Come along.
00:51:36Take her away, Cheryl.
00:51:37Good night, Your Honor.
00:51:38And I want to thank you for restoring my faith in human nature.
00:51:41Wait a minute.
00:51:44Come here, boy.
00:51:46Who?
00:51:47Me?
00:52:03I don't want to thank you.
00:52:20I don't want to thank you.
00:52:24Oh, give me land, lots of land, needs the starry skies above.
00:52:45Don't fence me in, let me rock.
00:52:49Why, Tom, don't you like my singing?
00:52:52I'm trying to sleep.
00:52:54On our honeymoon.
00:53:22Tom.
00:53:28What?
00:53:28I'm cold.
00:53:32If I could get at you, I'd warm you up, but good.
00:53:50Darling, you have got a terrible disposition, haven't you?
00:53:56I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:54:10I'll give you my coat.
00:54:12Well, don't tell me under that rude exterior lurks the soul of a gentleman.
00:54:18That's not all that lurks there.
00:54:19Thanks, pal.
00:54:21You're welcome.
00:54:23You know, it could be a lot worse.
00:54:24Suppose we were really married.
00:54:28Uh-uh.
00:54:28My imagination doesn't carry that far.
00:54:31A lot of girls would be very glad to marry me.
00:54:33Well, I suppose if a girl kept the keyholes plugged up and looked under her pillow for microphones every night.
00:54:38Don't get this straight.
00:54:39It's the first time in my life I ever took an assignment like that.
00:54:41Why'd you take it then?
00:54:42Well, I, uh, I like to ski, and I saw a chance to get a vacation at Sun Valley on the paper.
00:54:51Don't you ever do anything honestly?
00:54:54I did once, never again.
00:54:56When?
00:54:57You remember that article you read in the cabin up there?
00:55:00Oh, yes.
00:55:01The bait for your filthy little trap.
00:55:04Well, I admit that's why I wrote it, but, uh, funny part of it is that I turned it into Duffy just the way you read it.
00:55:09You're lying.
00:55:12No, ask Duffy.
00:55:14Well, listen, I'm not proud of it.
00:55:15No man likes it to get around, but he's soft in the head.
00:55:18He'd probably have fired me for it anyhow, even if you hadn't given out that story.
00:55:22And he'd have been right.
00:55:24A reporter's supposed to dish out facts, not moonshine.
00:55:27You shouldn't be so self-critical, darling.
00:55:30You should leave that to your wife.
00:55:32My wife?
00:55:33I've always wanted to be someone Severus' critic.
00:55:36Listen, you're not going back on your promise.
00:55:38You're going to sign that statement tomorrow.
00:55:40How can I?
00:55:41Thanks to you, I'm stuck here for 60 days.
00:55:44You won't get out of it that easily.
00:55:46That lunatic of a judge will have to let us use the phone in the morning, and then you can call that gigolo of yours.
00:55:51Better yet, I could call the press.
00:55:53Can't you see the headlines?
00:55:55Tom, Tom and heiress, honeymoon in jail.
00:55:58Lovers, tiff, lands, glamour couple in the clink.
00:56:00You wouldn't.
00:56:01Oh, wouldn't I?
00:56:03Apparently, your education hasn't been completed yet.
00:56:05Could I have a cigarette, Tom?
00:56:28It's the last one.
00:56:40Oh, one puff, then.
00:56:42Please.
00:56:44Well, you don't deserve it, but here.
00:56:46I'll hold it.
00:56:50I can't reach it there, Tom.
00:56:53Here.
00:56:54That better?
00:56:55Perfect.
00:56:57Ow!
00:56:58Ow!
00:56:58You cannibalistic...
00:56:59Give me back my cigarette!
00:57:00Give me that cigarette, you hear?
00:57:03Give me back that cigarette, right...
00:57:05Oh, I should have known better to risk you.
00:57:08Give me that cigarette.
00:57:13Give me that cigarette right now.
00:57:15I get it.
00:57:16I should have known...
00:57:16Judge!
00:57:18Judge!
00:57:19Cut out that racket.
00:57:22What's going on in here?
00:57:24What's the only less noise about?
00:57:26She bit me, Judge.
00:57:27She bit you?
00:57:28How in the world could she...
00:57:30I don't know how you've done it, but don't do it again.
00:58:0010, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60.
00:58:08There you are, Your Honor.
00:58:10Is that correct?
00:58:10Yep.
00:58:11And here's $20 for you personally.
00:58:16Are you trying to bribe me?
00:58:17Oh, no, you're...
00:58:18Attempted bribery.
00:58:19I'll fine you $20.
00:58:21Well, it's not my money.
00:58:23Let's go.
00:58:24Well, fine.
00:58:24I'm going to wait.
00:58:25I'm going to wait.
00:58:26I'm going to wait.
00:58:28Right there.
00:58:29Now, don't crowd around, fella.
00:58:31Darling, what a terrible experience.
00:58:33It wasn't so bad.
00:58:35It reminded me a little of your chateau.
00:58:37Especially the plumbing.
00:58:39How ought to say to you, Father?
00:58:40I'm so proud of you, Tom.
00:58:41I had a fight.
00:58:42Well, we had a little disagreement.
00:58:44I'm sure you wouldn't want to pry into the reasons for it.
00:58:47But Tom Tom has apologized.
00:58:51And now you can say we're very, very happy.
00:58:54Is that true?
00:58:54Hey, since I have a man, you want to get to say it.
00:58:56No comment.
00:58:57Oh, come on.
00:58:57I'm not sure what's the story.
00:58:58Wait, come on.
00:58:59How much is his bail?
00:59:00$60.
00:59:01Pay it, Andre.
00:59:02She's going to bail you out.
00:59:03Boy, I wish I had a rich wife.
00:59:04No, she's not going to pay my bail.
00:59:06Why, Tom, Tom?
00:59:07Stay right here in jail.
00:59:09You'll meet a better class of people.
00:59:10That's not a statement.
00:59:12You want a quote from me?
00:59:13Okay, then, take this.
00:59:15Rather than accept one nickel of her tainted money, I'll rot here in jail for the rest of my life.
00:59:20My poor darling.
00:59:28In all my experience, I have never met a more frightful cad.
00:59:33Imagine turning down your generous offer.
00:59:35Can't you imagine it, Andre?
00:59:36Of course not.
00:59:37If the man were a gentleman.
00:59:39He'd have accepted my money.
00:59:41Yes, it's a matter of simple courtesy.
00:59:43It's the first time anyone ever insulted me by turning down my money.
00:59:47Well, it just shows how far he'll go to demonstrate his hatred.
00:59:52Hatred?
00:59:53Do you think he really hates me, Andre?
00:59:57Well, naturally.
00:59:58You want him to hate you, don't you?
01:00:01Yes.
01:00:02Yes, of course.
01:00:04You can't really blame him.
01:00:05You've made him a national laughingstock.
01:00:08You're right, Andre.
01:00:10But now I...
01:00:12Now I think it's time to deny the story.
01:00:16As you say, I've accomplished everything I set out to.
01:00:19A very wise decision, my dear.
01:00:21After all, you can't go on pretending that you're married to him and then marry someone else.
01:00:26Someone who really has something in common with you.
01:00:45That's why I didn't show up with her.
01:00:46I got knocked out and thrown into jail.
01:00:48Every paper in town beat us to it again.
01:00:50But I couldn't call you.
01:00:52I tell you, I was locked up.
01:00:55Yes?
01:00:55Mr. Ketchel is here.
01:00:56Ask him to wait a moment.
01:00:57I've got a way out of this whole thing.
01:00:59I'm going to prove I'm not married to her.
01:01:00I'm leaving town this afternoon.
01:01:02I'm going up to Maine or Canada or someplace.
01:01:03And I'm really going to get married.
01:01:05Let Sarah Farley charge me with bigamy.
01:01:07Married?
01:01:07Whom are you married?
01:01:08Jessica, of course.
01:01:09We'll come back with this whole thing licked.
01:01:11That Farley dame will just look silly.
01:01:13I'll keep in touch with you.
01:01:13And after the ceremony, just let me write the story.
01:01:16Jessica, that's rather drastic, isn't it?
01:01:18I mean, rushing into marriage is...
01:01:20You know, there might be another way out of this.
01:01:22Send Ketchel in here.
01:01:23There's the man to help us.
01:01:24Ketchel?
01:01:25How?
01:01:25He's a lawyer.
01:01:26Well, what of it?
01:01:26We can sue Sarah Farley and have the facts established in a court of law.
01:01:29No, you're not getting me in any deeper.
01:01:30I've had enough of this.
01:01:31Tyler, you've made this newspaper a laughingstock.
01:01:34Newsboys sneer at me as I go by.
01:01:36Why?
01:01:36Because every paper in town beat us on our own yarn.
01:01:39They did not.
01:01:39It's not true.
01:01:40I'm not married to Sarah Farley.
01:01:41That's what you say, but can you prove it?
01:01:43No.
01:01:44No.
01:01:44Now, you're responsible for this, and you can repay me in some small measure for what you've
01:01:48done to me.
01:01:48Come on in.
01:01:49Did I marry Jess?
01:01:49Now, we can not only prove we were right and they fell for a gag, but we can get an exclusive
01:01:53story, because you'll be the plaintiff, and you'll be covering the story for us.
01:01:56Who are we suing this morning?
01:01:57Sarah Farley.
01:01:58Why?
01:01:59Won't you give him his allowance?
01:02:00Oh, very funny.
01:02:02Sarah claims she's Tyler's wife, and Tyler's suing for libel.
01:02:05Do you mean to imply, sir, that this beautiful specimen of American womanhood, this veritable
01:02:10flower of ravishing femininity who represents, how much, a hundred million, merely claims
01:02:14that she's married to you, and you want to sue her for libel?
01:02:17Don't make a campaign speech out of it.
01:02:19Now, you can sue for defamation of character, damage to his reputation and livelihood, holding
01:02:23him up to public ridicule, and great mental anguish.
01:02:25How does it strike you?
01:02:26I don't know.
01:02:27Why don't you sue for divorce and get a fat settlement?
01:02:29Because I'm not married to her.
01:02:30Can we win?
01:02:31Well, if he's telling the truth, we can.
01:02:33He's been damaged, all right.
01:02:34Damaged to the tune of a million dollars.
01:02:36I don't care about the money.
01:02:37Just get me out of that mess.
01:02:38We'll save our face, and we'll get an exclusive on a great story.
01:02:40File suit right away.
01:02:41Draw up the papers.
01:02:43This gets you out of the nutcracker.
01:02:44Maybe.
01:02:45And maybe it'll be worse.
01:02:46More headlines about me.
01:02:47That's not getting me out.
01:02:48A legal decision will be better than this, won't it?
01:02:50I'd like to see Thomas Tyler, please.
01:02:56Name?
01:02:57Sarah Farley.
01:02:59Freddie.
01:03:02Miss Sarah Farley to see Mr. Tyler.
01:03:07Oh, right this way, Miss Farley.
01:03:09Just a minute, Freddie.
01:03:17I'll take care of this.
01:03:19What are you doing here?
01:03:20You're making a career out of bonding me.
01:03:21Well, I just came to give your editor the statement.
01:03:25What?
01:03:26I'll sign the statement.
01:03:28You mean it?
01:03:30It's no gag?
01:03:31What made you change your mind?
01:03:33Oh, a lot of things.
01:03:34Your glass jaw and your gallantry and giving me your coat last night and sharing your last cigarette with me.
01:03:40And it suddenly started being fun, darling.
01:03:43I don't want you thinking I'm hard and vindictive because, well, I wouldn't want anyone to think that.
01:03:50Oh, I knew I was right about you.
01:03:52That's what I told Dustin.
01:03:53That isn't what you wrote.
01:03:54No, but he didn't have a chance to run the last installment.
01:03:56That was the only one that was legitimate, on the level, and flattering, too.
01:04:00Oh, what a relief this is.
01:04:02You're a great girl, Sarah.
01:04:04Duffy won't believe this, but I told him.
01:04:06I said you weren't the girl that we started to write about.
01:04:08I knew you'd come through.
01:04:09Sit down over here for a minute.
01:04:10I'll see if he's in his office and break the good news to him.
01:04:12Now, don't go away.
01:04:13I'll kiss you for this.
01:04:15I think I will.
01:04:16I will.
01:04:32Miss Sarah Farley?
01:04:39Yes.
01:04:42I'll see you next time.
01:04:54I'll see you next time.
01:04:54I'll see you next time.
01:04:56Duffy, look at this stuff.
01:05:24Everything was going fine till you hit her with that summons.
01:05:27Just bad timing, that's all.
01:05:28Anyway, we've tried to explain.
01:05:29We tried to apologize, and she wouldn't listen.
01:05:31Now, she'll get what's coming to her.
01:05:33She'll get what's coming to her.
01:05:34Maybe you don't know what's happening.
01:05:36This morning, an old lady came up to me on the street and hit me over the head with an umbrella.
01:05:39What for?
01:05:40She said she was doing it in the name of American womanhood.
01:05:43Now, go on, you're afraid of a few women?
01:06:12There he is.
01:06:21And now, Mr. Tyler, I'm certain that you would agree that you could hardly have forgotten such an important event as your marriage, could you?
01:06:29Do you have a good memory?
01:06:31I have a very good memory, Mr. Prosecutor.
01:06:33As a matter of fact, I recall that you asked me that same question about 20 minutes ago.
01:06:37I am not a prosecutor, Mr. Tyler.
01:06:39I am the legal counsel for the defendant, which you very well know.
01:06:43The plaintiff will refrain from further sarcasm.
01:06:46Proceed with the examination.
01:06:47You remember everything that happened at Sun Valley, for instance?
01:06:51Yes.
01:06:52Do you remember falling off a dog sled and being knocked unconscious?
01:06:55Yes.
01:06:56Memory doesn't function during an unconscious period, does it, Mr. Tyler?
01:06:59I mean, if you were unconscious, you couldn't very well remember what happened while you were unconscious, could you?
01:07:05Nothing happened while I was unconscious.
01:07:08How do you know?
01:07:10Well, I...
01:07:11Nothing happened.
01:07:13Isn't it possible that while you were in this condition, you might have done quite a number of things you don't remember?
01:07:18I remember everything.
01:07:20Isn't it possible that after the accident in the sled, you visited the local justice of the peace?
01:07:25No, it is not possible.
01:07:27I've just told you I remember everything.
01:07:29And I resent your attempts to make me appear an idiot.
01:07:31Your Honor, do I have to stand for this?
01:07:32Uh, the, uh, matter of who is or who is not an idiot has not been brought into this action.
01:07:37The witness will answer the questions.
01:07:39By the way, Mr. Tyler, while you were serving as a war correspondent, were you ever wounded or injured in any way?
01:07:46Yes, but I assume that's no crime.
01:07:48Seriously enough to be hospitalized?
01:07:50Yes.
01:07:51Would you tell the court what was the nature of your injury?
01:07:55I was struck on the head by shell fragments.
01:07:57Which resulted in a loss of memory?
01:07:59Yes, but it was only temporary.
01:08:01Objection.
01:08:02This line of questioning is irrelevant and immaterial.
01:08:05It seems to me that whether or not the plaintiff had a good memory has a great deal of bearing on this case.
01:08:09The objection is overruled.
01:08:11Thank you, Your Honor.
01:08:12And now, Mr. Tyler, according to your deposition, it is your contention that you are the helpless victim of a diabolical plot on the part of the defendant.
01:08:20That is definitely my contention.
01:08:22It is the whim of this evil and designing woman to wreck your life.
01:08:25That's exactly what she's trying to do.
01:08:27Isn't it just the other way around, Mr. Tyler?
01:08:29Didn't you lure this young woman to a cabin in Sun Valley?
01:08:32I did not lure her.
01:08:33Well, did she invite you there?
01:08:36No, but...
01:08:36Then how did it happen you were there with her?
01:08:39Well, I wanted to be alone with her.
01:08:40Ah, you did.
01:08:42You wanted to be alone with her in the seclusion of a cabin in the woods where you subsequently...
01:08:46You're putting the wrong connotation on this.
01:08:48Well, what other connotation could be placed upon it, Mr. Tyler?
01:08:52The truth.
01:08:53You're making it appear as though I had a personal interest, whereas I was only collecting material from my articles.
01:08:57Nothing else.
01:08:58Now, Mr. Tyler, I ask you to look at the defendant.
01:09:01In your articles, you described her rather flatteringly.
01:09:06Do you still agree that she has charm?
01:09:09I do.
01:09:09She's young and desirable?
01:09:12Yes, she is.
01:09:13Then she naturally attracts the attention of most men.
01:09:16I suppose she might.
01:09:17And yet you maintain that while you were collecting material for your articles...
01:09:21The defendant was so overcome by your manly charms...
01:09:24Your magnetic personality and beauty...
01:09:27That without any encouragement from you...
01:09:29She dreamed up a fraudulent marriage to you...
01:09:31And threw her considerable fortune at your feet.
01:09:34And although you had never seen him before, you permitted him to enter the house because he said he was her husband?
01:09:59Yes, sir.
01:10:00I gave him the room adjoining hers.
01:10:02I was always put in the guest house.
01:10:04Was he still there when she returned?
01:10:07I don't know, sir.
01:10:08He gave me the night off.
01:10:10He assumed the rights of the man of the house?
01:10:13Yes, sir.
01:10:13Was he still there on the following morning when you brought up your mistress's breakfast to her?
01:10:18No, sir.
01:10:19But there were signs of a struggle or some unpleasantness, sir.
01:10:23Ah.
01:10:24What signs?
01:10:25Broken perfume bottle, sir.
01:10:27Did it look as if she had defended herself against violence?
01:10:31Objection.
01:10:32Presumption on part of the witness and leading question?
01:10:34I know where it's leading.
01:10:36So do I, counselor.
01:10:38Objection sustained.
01:10:39And the plaintiff charged these purchases for the Farley account?
01:10:46$67.84, we estimate.
01:10:50And you permitted him to charge such a large amount?
01:10:53Well, he said he was her husband.
01:10:55Of course, I thought it was very odd.
01:10:56Thought it was odd?
01:10:58Well, he said he was married to Miss Farley.
01:11:00Then he pointed to that woman there and introduced her as his fianc├йe.
01:11:34Defense counsel constantly addresses the witness as Mrs. Tyler to influence the jury.
01:11:38But she is Mrs. Tyler.
01:11:39We dispute that.
01:11:41We're here to prove that she's not Mrs. Tyler.
01:11:43Yes, sister.
01:11:44It'll be stricken from the record.
01:11:45Perhaps you may address the witness as Sarah.
01:11:49Yes.
01:11:51Sarah.
01:11:53Now, Sarah, you met Mr. Tyler at Sun Valley?
01:11:57Yes.
01:11:57Can you tell us what happened at Sun Valley?
01:11:59Oh, it was just wonderful.
01:12:01Because we fell in love.
01:12:02Just like that.
01:12:03Just like that, eh?
01:12:06Now, Sarah, ordinarily a woman has too much pride to contest a lawsuit like this.
01:12:11Will you please tell the jury why you're contesting?
01:12:14Well, because I know he loves me.
01:12:17After all, he came to the Whitson dinner party because he couldn't keep away from me.
01:12:21And if he had no emotional interest in me, he wouldn't have wanted to strike me.
01:12:25That's why he broke into the house at three in the morning.
01:12:30The woman knows about those things.
01:12:32He was so jealous of the Count de Guillaume.
01:12:35But even though he was in a jealous rage, he was so sweet.
01:12:38He went down to the kitchen and got sandwiches and milk.
01:12:41Well, I was hungry.
01:12:44Of course, he hates rich people.
01:12:47He blames me for having money.
01:12:49He does?
01:12:49He's the only man I've ever met who really isn't interested in my money.
01:12:56A man often reveals things without knowing it.
01:13:00I guess we both fell in love before we knew it.
01:13:05Well, Sarah, if he isn't interested in money and he loves you, why do you think he's suing you?
01:13:11Well, sometimes he's a heel.
01:13:16I object, Your Honor.
01:13:18Sustained.
01:13:19The question led to an opinion on the part of the witness and was so designed.
01:13:23However, it has become increasingly clear that there are rather unusual factors behind the testimony.
01:13:29So far, given the court cannot disregard certain emotional implications,
01:13:34which apparently have remained undetected by opposing counsel.
01:13:38Therefore, I shall ask both the litigants and their attorneys to meet with me in my chambers.
01:13:42Meanwhile, the court will recess.
01:13:59Will you be seated, please?
01:14:05Be seated, please.
01:14:09It's not in the province of the court to interfere in liven actions,
01:14:12but this action basically is one of domestic origin,
01:14:15deriving from the marriage or non-marriage of the litigants.
01:14:18Now, it's always been my policy to attempt reconciliations in the public interest
01:14:23and because I'm just an old meddler with a sentimental streak.
01:14:27Now, everyone in the courtroom, including the jury,
01:14:30is fully aware that you two are eminently suited to each other.
01:14:34The way you look at each other
01:14:37and the way you smile at each other.
01:14:46You've got a good marriage.
01:14:48They're not married, Your Honor.
01:14:49Ask her why they were married.
01:14:50This is a comfort.
01:14:51She's not on the stand now.
01:14:52Gentlemen, please.
01:14:53This is entirely off the record.
01:14:55It's a sort of a family affair.
01:14:57There's no courtroom procedure whatsoever.
01:14:59It's merely a matter of good manners and no raised voices.
01:15:03Well, where were we married?
01:15:05Well, off the record, at the courthouse at Three Forks, Idaho.
01:15:09Three Forks, Idaho.
01:15:10We can check that in about two hours, Your Honor.
01:15:11Well, unfortunately for all of us, that's impossible.
01:15:14You see, the courthouse burned down and the records were destroyed.
01:15:18That fire?
01:15:19Mm-hmm.
01:15:19Uh, Your Honor, I'd like to confer with my client.
01:15:22You may.
01:15:27But she's...
01:15:29She's right.
01:15:31We can't prove a thing.
01:15:33We're late.
01:15:33Not yet we're not.
01:15:34Now listen to me.
01:15:37Your Honor, we're prepared to concede that it's possible Mr. Tyler did, in fact, marry Miss Farley.
01:15:43This concession, however, introduces certain other factors.
01:15:46Such as?
01:15:47Oh, merely routine matters.
01:15:49All to the benefit of the Farley Enterprises.
01:15:51In what way?
01:15:52Why, my client, being cognizant of his obligations as a husband, wishes to assume his duties in regard to the Farley interests.
01:15:57He'd like to see the financial statement.
01:15:59To protect his wife's interests, naturally, he'd like to assume his position of authority and take active charge of the business.
01:16:05Take care of the business.
01:16:05What do you mean he wants to find an actual statement?
01:16:07Just a minute.
01:16:07I nearly want a help.
01:16:08I don't need your help.
01:16:09After all, Mrs. Tyler, your husband's devoted to you.
01:16:11He's devoted to you.
01:16:12His devotion will have you bankrupt in six months.
01:16:14Your Honor, the purpose of this suit is very evident now.
01:16:17This literary ne'er-do-well really wants you to validate this marriage so that he can establish his dour rights in the Farley fortune.
01:16:24Oh, come now, Mr. Rice.
01:16:26Your Honor, this suit was brought to determine whether or not Mr. Tyler married me.
01:16:30He's admitted that he did, so I feel that my reputation has been cleared.
01:16:34I asked just one other thing at the court, and that is to clear my name.
01:16:39I want this marriage annulled.
01:16:40So soon?
01:16:41I only admitted to being married a few seconds ago.
01:16:43Perhaps you're being a bit hasty, my dear.
01:16:45Hasty?
01:16:46Oh, no.
01:16:47I'm just not quite bright.
01:16:48I really thought you were the one man who wasn't interested in money.
01:16:51But you're just a little more clever than the others.
01:16:54You'll cherish me, will you?
01:16:56Oh, you've double-crossed and lied to me every chance you had at Sun Valley when I came to your office and now, and I...
01:17:05Well, you can just go cherish somebody else's checking account.
01:17:10Well, Mr. Rice and I can discuss the terms of the divorce.
01:17:13I said annullment, not divorce.
01:17:14But on what grounds?
01:17:20Why, yes.
01:17:21On the grounds that they haven't lived together as man and wife.
01:17:25Could anything be simpler?
01:17:26Wait a minute.
01:17:27How do you know we haven't?
01:17:28After all, I was there.
01:17:30You may have been unconscious, but I wasn't.
01:17:32That has nothing to do with it.
01:17:34I deny the allegation.
01:17:35I deny everything.
01:17:35Just a minute.
01:17:36The procedure is no matter who the law is the law.
01:17:39You won't get away with it.
01:17:39You married me, but in me only...
01:17:41You're going to find your husband conscious or unconscious.
01:17:42I'm still your husband.
01:17:43Quiet!
01:17:44There's been deception and trickery throughout this trial.
01:17:46Bailiff!
01:17:47The chambers of the court are not the place to settle domestic youth.
01:17:49Bailiff!
01:17:50Nor is it the proper place to seek an annullment of marriage.
01:17:53Bailiff!
01:17:53I'm not only throwing this case out of court, but also the plaintiff, the defendant, and their attorneys.
01:17:59And I'm very disappointed in you, too.
01:18:02Your Honor.
01:18:16Bailiff!
01:18:17Your Honor, please.
01:18:17I want some advice.
01:18:19Bailiff!
01:18:20I gave you my advice.
01:18:21Only fools repeat themselves.
01:18:23I'm willing to take it now, but I'm being annulled.
01:18:25What can I do about that?
01:18:27You want her back?
01:18:28Yes, sir.
01:18:29You convinced me.
01:18:30But she wants to get that annullment.
01:18:31Well, well, so I convinced you, hmm?
01:18:34Yes, sir.
01:18:35My boy, I can't advise you personally, but if you want a judicial tip, the way to forestall
01:18:41a legal action is to remove the grounds.
01:18:45To remove the...
01:18:46Remove the grounds.
01:18:48Court's adjourned.
01:18:49I mean, good evening.
01:18:51Did you call me, Your Honor?
01:18:52Huh?
01:18:52Oh, yes, Bailiff.
01:18:54Good evening.
01:19:08Miss Farley, I mean, Mrs. Tyler, I want to...
01:19:10You were right the first time, Barrett.
01:19:13Miss Farley, I want to tell you that...
01:19:14In the morning, Barrett.
01:19:16Good night.
01:19:16Good night.
01:19:17Good night.
01:19:18Good night.
01:19:19Good night.
01:19:20Good night.
01:19:21Good night.
01:19:22Good night.
01:19:23Good night.
01:19:24Good night.
01:19:25Good night.
01:19:26Good night.
01:19:27Good night.
01:19:28Good night.
01:19:29Good night.
01:19:30Good night.
01:19:31Good night.
01:19:32Good night.
01:19:33Good night.
01:19:34Good night.
01:19:35Good night.
01:19:36Good night.
01:19:37Good night.
01:19:38Good night.
01:19:39Good night.
01:19:40Good night.
01:19:41Good night.
01:19:42Good night.
01:19:43Good night.
01:19:44Oh, thank you.
01:19:58Hey, Brighton, it's only me.
01:20:00How dare you come in here?
01:20:03Get out or I'll call the police.
01:20:05You'll call nobody.
01:20:06I'm your husband.
01:20:07We haven't been a known.
01:20:08We'll see about that.
01:20:09We're going to settle this once and for all, and we're going to settle this now.
01:20:14How dare you handle me this way?
01:20:18Let me up!
01:20:19Until you listen to what I have to say.
01:20:21I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
01:20:24Help!
01:20:26If you do that again, so help me and I'll...
01:20:28You know what?
01:20:29I'll tell you what I came up here to tell you.
01:20:32I love you.
01:20:35Well, there's no law against a man telling his wife he loves her, is there?
01:20:41If there is, there shouldn't be.
01:20:44Oh, Tom, I'm so glad you're not annulled.
01:20:51Just a minute.
01:20:52There's one thing I'd like to know.
01:20:54What really happened at Sun Valley?
01:20:56Did I marry you?
01:20:57That's something you'll never know.
01:21:00No, but I've got to.
01:21:01I mean, well, you know, if we have children, why...
01:21:05Well, it wouldn't be legal.
01:21:06No, all right.
01:21:07If you're going to worry about it, we'd better settle this.
01:21:10We'll get married all over again, just to keep you happy.
01:21:14Good idea.
01:21:15It'll keep the children happy, too.
01:21:16See you, too.
01:21:17Bye-bye.
01:21:26Thanks for coming to the ыВа.
01:21:28Oh!
01:21:28Bye-bye.
01:21:30Bye-bye.
01:21:30Bye-bye.
01:21:30Bye-bye.
01:21:30Bye-bye.
01:21:31Bye-bye.
01:21:31So?
01:21:31Bye-bye.
01:21:33Bye-bye.
01:21:33Bye-bye.
01:21:33Bye-bye.
01:21:34Bye-bye.
01:21:43Bye-bye.
Be the first to comment
Add your comment

Recommended

0:24
Up next