#family #disney #comedy
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00If you ever meet someone who said they've been to Two Mills PA and they never heard of Maniac McGee, well, you found yourself a liar.
00:00:17Because if it weren't for Maniac McGee, there'd be no Two Mills, at least not the happy place it is now.
00:00:23Just ask someone who was really and truly there when it all happened, like me.
00:00:30I'll tell you about a kid who ran smack into a town divided and found a way to make it whole.
00:00:40His story begins here, about a thousand miles from Two Mills, in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.
00:00:47Of course, to be accurate, he wasn't Maniac then. He was Jeffrey Lionel McGee.
00:00:53Jeffrey!
00:00:53Jeffrey!
00:00:54We'd never miss your game if your grandfather wasn't in the hospital.
00:01:01He's going to be all right, isn't he?
00:01:02Sure he will. And I'll bet you a bag of donuts will be to the game by the fourth inning.
00:01:06Will you tell Grandpa that I'm going to hit a home run for him?
00:01:08I will, honey.
00:01:10Tomorrow I'm going to teach you how to throw my super-duper, never-been-hit stop ball.
00:01:14Okay, okay, Dad.
00:01:15You wait. It comes right up to the plate.
00:01:18And then it stops dead in the air. You won't believe it.
00:01:20You're right, I won't. I'm not a kid anymore, Dad.
00:01:24Right. Take care, big guy.
00:01:27All right, see you later. Love you, Mom.
00:01:31Now, this part of the story is always the hardest to tell.
00:01:35You see, Jeffrey never got to see his dad's infamous stop ball,
00:01:39because he never got to see his parents ever again.
00:01:41A drunk driver saw to that.
00:01:45Jeffrey was now alone, with a heart so heavy,
00:01:48not even Superman himself could lift it.
00:01:54Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
00:02:01Lord, bless the family.
00:02:05In his name we pray.
00:02:06The Lord is with you, son.
00:02:19Brighter days are coming.
00:02:21Jeffrey wanted to believe the minister's words of hope,
00:02:24but it's kind of hard when you see a man in a bow tie
00:02:27and a sourpuss in a sailor suit heading in your direction.
00:02:30Jeffrey McGee, I am Officer Kirtle, Dan Kirtle, from Family Court.
00:02:38This is Miss Freeze.
00:02:40Dottie to you. I'm from the orphanage, Jeffrey.
00:02:43We'll need you to come with us now.
00:02:51No!
00:02:51No one knew it then, but that scream was the beginning of a legend.
00:02:57It was an explosion of grief and anger that propelled him like rocket fuel
00:03:02in the general direction of anywhere but here.
00:03:06From that moment on,
00:03:08Jeffrey Lionel McGee began running like no kid had ever run before.
00:03:13And his legend, well, it's been running ever since.
00:03:17I don't remember what you said
00:03:19I'm gonna leave the past behind me
00:03:21All those lies inside your head
00:03:24I took my aim, let it be blinded
00:03:26I'm gonna try my face now
00:03:29I'm gonna need you, baby, behind me
00:03:32I'm gonna try my face now
00:03:34I'm gonna need you, baby, get my dreams
00:03:37I want to go
00:03:39I want to go
00:03:42I want to leave
00:03:45I want to go
00:03:50It's rumored that Maniac McGee ran for 273 straight days
00:04:08across Big Sky Country, down the Mississippi Valley, and of course through Hershey PA, where he took the chocolate tour three times.
00:04:16He slept where he could, and ate when he was hungry, pausing on occasion for quick take-out from some of our nation's finest eating establishments.
00:04:28Why he stopped is anybody's guess.
00:04:30Some say it's because he knew he'd found a home.
00:04:32Others say he just had a pebble in his shoe.
00:04:35For whatever reason, he decided to stop in Two Mills and take a look around.
00:04:40In case you didn't know
00:04:42Then I'll tell you so
00:04:45Baby, by the way
00:04:48Two Mills was your average, everyday small town, except for one tiny little thing.
00:04:53It was founded by a man who did not believe that blacks and whites should live together.
00:04:59The line running straight through the center of the town made sure of that.
00:05:03It also made sure that the Easties and the Westies would never get along.
00:05:17All Maniac McGee knew was that there was a street, and he was going to cross it.
00:05:23It was while on the Eastside that fateful day that Maniac first saw Cabo's Knot, an enormous ball of rope and twine that was as tangled up as the town of Two Mills itself.
00:05:46What are you doing here with that white face, boy?
00:05:56My white face?
00:05:57My white face?
00:05:58Yeah, what is your white face doing here?
00:06:00Well, I take my face with me wherever I go.
00:06:02Oh, you do, huh?
00:06:04You?
00:06:05Kid.
00:06:06Kid.
00:06:07Kid.
00:06:09Kid.
00:06:10Kid.
00:06:11Kid.
00:06:12Kid.
00:06:13Kid.
00:06:14Kid.
00:06:23Kid.
00:06:32were in their dreams.
00:06:35Big John even had his own cheering section,
00:06:37brothers Piper and Russell.
00:06:41Thirty-four suckers in a row.
00:06:43Y'all swing like whips.
00:06:45Yeah, like whips.
00:06:47And his father, Dad McNabb,
00:06:49who was just a wee bit harder to please.
00:06:52You took three pitches to strike that last kid out, John.
00:06:55I could have done it in two.
00:06:58Stop acting like a bum, John.
00:07:01All right.
00:07:01Next victim.
00:07:12You gotta be getting me.
00:07:16Okay, shoot the schmo.
00:07:19Number 35 coming up.
00:07:26Why, you...
00:07:28God, you let him hit him, boy!
00:07:30You don't know joy in a pity now!
00:07:33Lucky hit!
00:07:34Lucky hit, John.
00:07:36Don't be the sizziest skin in his knees.
00:07:39Make him scourge and sizzle.
00:07:42I was so busy laughing at you, dwarf boy,
00:07:43I loved a lollipop.
00:07:45Throw it!
00:07:46Throw it like a lightning bolt!
00:07:48Throw it like a honeybee's drinking hole!
00:07:50Throw it like a honeybee's drinking hole!
00:08:04Wow!
00:08:04Did you see that, Russell?
00:08:06Look at it!
00:08:08Imagine a fool, are you?
00:08:09He's back!
00:08:14Throw the spitball!
00:08:15Throw the curveball!
00:08:16Throw the driveball!
00:08:17Throw the sonic boom ball!
00:08:19But you strike him out!
00:08:21But Big John had something else in mind.
00:08:24It involved his little brother, Piper's best friend, Fred.
00:08:28What are you doing?
00:08:29I'm gonna eat him.
00:08:30Frog legs.
00:08:31Yeah, right.
00:08:32But don't hurt him!
00:08:33Get some scourge and sizzle, son!
00:08:35Now, pitching a bullfrog might not exactly be in the rule book,
00:08:40but Big John only cared about making sure Maniac looked like a fool.
00:08:46Oh, no!
00:08:48No!
00:08:53Bad chance.
00:08:54Big John!
00:09:21The world's first frog ball four-bagger!
00:09:23You lost your scotch and scissor, boy.
00:09:26You ain't no son of mine.
00:09:28Ready.
00:09:32Hey, get him.
00:09:35And that kid's a maniac.
00:09:37If maniac's famous frog bunt was like a mosquito bite on Big John's earlobe,
00:09:42what happened next was like a bee sting on his butt.
00:09:49In Two Mills, if a kid valued his sanity,
00:09:52he'd make a habit of avoiding the haunted Finsterwald house.
00:09:57If some raggedy wreck of a man was seen shuffling through town,
00:10:02word would spread that he'd once been a normal happy man
00:10:04who lost his mind after blundering into Finsterwalds.
00:10:10Big John decided to check out this rumor with the help of his little brother, Piper.
00:10:16Let me out, John. Let me out.
00:10:18Let me out, John. Let me out.
00:10:20Please.
00:10:20And look out, it's Finsterwald.
00:10:24Piper made the fatal mistake.
00:10:26He looked at the dreaded house and came down with a jumbo-sized case of the Finsterwallies.
00:10:35He's got the Finsterwallies.
00:10:36You all right?
00:10:50Hey, I'm getting tired of this. Come on.
00:11:07Come on, get that kid.
00:11:08What do you have here?
00:11:18I have him.
00:11:20Hey, you maniac kid.
00:11:22What are you doing?
00:11:23You again.
00:11:25I thought I told you to go.
00:11:27Now, step.
00:11:30Step.
00:11:31That means get out of here.
00:11:34Step, step, step, step, step, step.
00:11:36No, go to the West End.
00:11:38They don't want you.
00:11:39Trip, what do you think you're doing, huh?
00:11:40Somebody should call him.
00:11:42Huh?
00:11:42That's right.
00:11:43You know, that's voice you cross the line.
00:11:45That makes you an honorary Eastie.
00:11:48They don't think that.
00:11:48Yeah.
00:11:49We don't want to see you back across this line.
00:11:51You got that?
00:11:53Yeah, you better start getting a tan.
00:11:56Hey, watch yourself.
00:11:58Hey, on the East side.
00:12:00That's got to be that maniac kid.
00:12:01It's over the line.
00:12:02Now, by all rights, that should have been the last two meals ever saw of Maniac McGee.
00:12:08He was goner than yesterday's lunch money.
00:12:10But luckily for us, he happened to turn left at the karate school, right at the pet hospital,
00:12:16and straight into Amanda Beal and her suitcase.
00:12:19Are you running away, too?
00:12:21Huh?
00:12:22Do you know where you are?
00:12:24No, not really.
00:12:25Why are you carrying a suitcase?
00:12:27Are you running away?
00:12:28Oh, no, it's my library.
00:12:35Wow, you must love to read.
00:12:37Yes, my favorite.
00:12:38Encyclopedia is letter A.
00:12:39I'm already halfway through.
00:12:42Better get to scare me late for school, girl.
00:12:44I love books, especially Willy Wonka and Tom Sawyer, and Alice in Wonderland is my favorite.
00:12:49Mine, too.
00:12:50Don't you just love them when she gets real small, then real big, then real small again,
00:12:54and she puts on water and she takes it off fast enough to open her own fat reduction plank,
00:12:58and she's mostly on a liquid and mushroom diet.
00:13:01You're funny.
00:13:02But unless the Queen of Hearts colored you white, you're lost.
00:13:05You mean red.
00:13:06They colored the roses red so she wouldn't cut their heads off.
00:13:10Who are you?
00:13:11Jackie McGee.
00:13:12What's your name?
00:13:13Amanda.
00:13:14Where are you from?
00:13:16Maybe here.
00:13:17Maybe you better go ask your mother and father if you're from here or not.
00:13:20Hmm.
00:13:22Wait.
00:13:22Amanda!
00:13:24Let me carry it for you.
00:13:25No.
00:13:27Can I have it just to read tomorrow?
00:13:28No.
00:13:29Please, anyone.
00:13:30Your shortest one.
00:13:31Look, I'm going to be late for school.
00:13:33Amanda.
00:13:34Just go to the library.
00:13:35I don't have a library card.
00:13:39Oh.
00:13:45I'll probably never see it again.
00:13:47No, you will.
00:13:48I promise.
00:13:49I'll give it back to you in perfect condition.
00:13:54Thank you!
00:13:58About three seconds after he made his first friend,
00:14:02Maniac made his first enemy.
00:14:05Name.
00:14:06Mars Bar Thompson.
00:14:07Hobby.
00:14:08Making you cry for your mama.
00:14:11If you were smart,
00:14:12you crossed the street when he was coming.
00:14:14If you were really smart,
00:14:15well,
00:14:16you moved out of town.
00:14:19Mars Bar introduced himself to Maniac with his usual charm.
00:14:26What you're eating?
00:14:27That's not mine.
00:14:28Give it back, please.
00:14:29It's mine.
00:14:29I'm taking it.
00:14:31Oh, no.
00:14:32Give me that page.
00:14:34Try to take your fish belly.
00:14:35You gonna fight a Mars?
00:14:36Who ripped my book?
00:14:38It's his fault.
00:14:39You lie.
00:14:40It's your fault.
00:14:41Listen, I already got a little brother and a little sister that crayon all over my books.
00:14:45And a dog that eats them and poots on them.
00:14:47And that's just inside my own family.
00:14:49I don't want to have anybody else messing with my books.
00:14:52Do you understand?
00:14:54Yes, Amanda.
00:14:55You get him, girl.
00:14:56Hey!
00:14:58I'm not gonna forget this.
00:15:00Let's go.
00:15:01I'm sorry.
00:15:03It was one of my favorite pages.
00:15:06I can fix it.
00:15:07You can?
00:15:08Yeah, sure.
00:15:08I can fix anything.
00:15:09All I need is some clear tape that'll be as good as new.
00:15:12Almost.
00:15:14I got some tape in my house.
00:15:15Come on.
00:15:15And with that, Maniac McGee followed Amanda further into the East End than any white kid
00:15:24had ever gone before.
00:15:29You see that?
00:15:31Mom, Jeffrey.
00:15:33He's gonna fix my book.
00:15:34Close the door.
00:15:35Now, it wouldn't be fair to say that Amanda snuck Maniac into her house.
00:15:41She'd tell her mom about it when she had to.
00:15:43And not a second before.
00:15:45It's Jeffrey.
00:15:52What in the world?
00:15:54What are you doing?
00:15:55Bow Wow did it.
00:15:56Well, tell Bow Wow to clean it up.
00:15:58You, young man, need a bath.
00:16:00I don't want a bath.
00:16:02Come on.
00:16:02Get down from here.
00:16:03Wow, it's amazing.
00:16:04How'd you do it?
00:16:05I can barely see where it was torn.
00:16:07It's easy.
00:16:08Thank you for loaning it to me.
00:16:10I don't want a bath.
00:16:11I don't want a bath.
00:16:12He never wants to take a bath.
00:16:15I'll bet I can get him to take one.
00:16:17I'll bet you can't.
00:16:24Jeffrey, you made it.
00:16:29Come on.
00:16:30Come on.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:32Stop.
00:16:33Stop.
00:16:33Go.
00:16:34What are you doing?
00:17:01Giving them a bath before supper.
00:17:06Who are you?
00:17:08This is Jeffrey.
00:17:09I told you.
00:17:10Nice to meet you, Mrs. Beale.
00:17:12You're not from around here, are you?
00:17:15Uh, no.
00:17:18I'm visiting my aunt and uncle.
00:17:20Is it okay if Jeffrey has supper with us?
00:17:22I don't think so.
00:17:24I don't think so.
00:17:26We want maniacs!
00:17:29We want maniacs!
00:17:32We want maniacs!
00:17:34All right.
00:17:35Yeah!
00:17:38Come on.
00:17:39We want maniacs!
00:17:40We want maniacs!
00:17:42Who is maniacs!
00:17:43Who is maniacs!
00:17:44Who is maniacs!
00:17:45All right, everybody bow their heads.
00:17:48Lester.
00:17:50Dear Lord, thank you for this bounty that we are about to receive.
00:17:55Amen.
00:17:56Amen.
00:17:57Have a pork chop, Jeffrey.
00:17:59What does amen mean, Mr. Beale?
00:18:01Well, we say amen when somebody's done something we really like.
00:18:05Well, then amen me, too, because I like that I'm having pork chops with Hester and Lester.
00:18:09Yay!
00:18:11Mommy, do I have a pork chop?
00:18:13Oh, absolutely, baby.
00:18:15There you go.
00:18:15What are we doing now?
00:18:20Back here.
00:18:21What are you doing?
00:18:24We're not going to draw on your book.
00:18:26We just want Jeffrey to read to us.
00:18:28Don't you think it's about time you headed home, Jeffrey?
00:18:31Your aunt and uncle will be wondering, I'm sure.
00:18:33Can't you read the story first?
00:18:35Yeah.
00:18:36Can I?
00:18:37All right.
00:18:39But then it's right off to bed.
00:18:40Yay!
00:18:40Yay!
00:18:42Yay!
00:18:43Yay!
00:18:44Yay!
00:18:45There aren't any white families who live on this block.
00:18:58Well, I meant the next block.
00:19:01East End is East End, Jeffrey.
00:19:03There aren't any white families who live in East End anywhere.
00:19:11Alice, I'm sorry.
00:19:14I'm so sorry.
00:19:14Don't be mad.
00:19:15I don't have a home.
00:19:21East or West.
00:19:25Not anywhere.
00:19:29Whoa.
00:19:32You're not mad at me, are you?
00:19:38No.
00:19:38Richard, you're always a place to sleep.
00:19:51A place to sleep is one thing, but a homeless is something else.
00:19:56Hey, look, he's a Westie.
00:19:58and Westies belong where
00:20:01where Westies belong.
00:20:04Listen to yourself.
00:20:06Listen to what you're saying.
00:20:08I'm listening to me. Are you listening to me?
00:20:10We can't just let him stay out there.
00:20:14I know, Martha.
00:20:15But they got places that deal with this kind of thing.
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:24Okay.
00:20:28Get you to bed.
00:20:36You.
00:20:38You're staying with us.
00:20:40You mean I can live here for good?
00:20:42Well, at least for a while.
00:20:44Oh, thank you.
00:20:53You.
00:20:53Go to bed.
00:20:56Jeffrey, what are you doing?
00:20:58Looking at my new address.
00:21:02And my new neighborhood.
00:21:04It was official.
00:21:06After 3,641 miles,
00:21:10Maniac McGee had found a new home.
00:21:12His days of running were over.
00:21:14Well, sort of.
00:21:16Jeffrey, can you come down here, please?
00:21:19In here, Jeffrey.
00:21:25Sneakers.
00:21:26And they're red.
00:21:27You don't understand.
00:21:29I can run fast and black.
00:21:30I can even run faster and red.
00:21:32Well, I got you some new clothes, too.
00:21:33I hope they fit.
00:21:35Cool.
00:21:36Okay, let's go.
00:21:49Siren.
00:21:50No.
00:21:53No.
00:21:54No.
00:21:55No.
00:21:55Maniac's fame soon spread all over the East End
00:22:06And not just for running the streets faster than a cheetah in a Ferrari
00:22:10When Hester and Lester told kids
00:22:14How Maniac could untangle any knot faster than a cop could eat a donut
00:22:18They started lining up
00:22:20Hey you guys, stay out of that pit, it's dangerous in there
00:22:25Hey
00:22:28It's not coming off, it's not painted on
00:22:35Just haven't been out in the sun very much
00:22:37Come on, come on
00:22:49What is it Jeff?
00:23:07It's just on the 4th of July
00:23:13I used to go on the roof of my grandpa's house with my mom and dad
00:23:19I just remember us watching the fireworks with them
00:23:32You know, I lost my dad when I was a little bit older than you
00:23:39I still miss him
00:23:41I think we miss people because it's our way of remembering them
00:23:46It's our way of keeping them alive
00:23:49Yeah
00:23:52Oh, look at that one
00:23:57Wow
00:23:59Every time I see fireworks or shooting stars
00:24:03You know, especially shooting stars
00:24:04I think it's my dad flying across heaven
00:24:07But I think that one might have been my mom
00:24:12Kind of looks like her hair
00:24:14She had long hair
00:24:16It's usually the big things Maniac McGee did that get all the hoopla
00:24:31But for Amanda, the little things mattered just as much
00:24:35Look, it's shaped like an A
00:24:38A for Encyclopedia A
00:24:41No
00:24:42A for Amanda
00:24:46This is my dad's workshop
00:24:51Well, you said that I could turn it into your library
00:24:55Wow
00:24:57This is really cool
00:24:59A is for Aardvark
00:25:04A is for Aardvark
00:25:07I know I never heard of it either
00:25:09But it's in there
00:25:10And I bet there's an Aarddog
00:25:12And a Aardcat
00:25:13There's no such thing
00:25:14Well, there should be
00:25:16I bet
00:25:18There's an Aardamanda
00:25:20Ah
00:25:21You hit me
00:25:22You deserved it
00:25:24Aardamanda
00:25:25Well
00:25:26Then Aardamanda
00:25:28Now, if you're wondering when Mars Bar Thompson is going to rear his ugly head
00:25:32Just keep your eye on the door
00:25:44You just love trouble, don't you
00:25:56Hey, you Maniac
00:25:58I want to talk to you
00:25:59Want a bite?
00:26:03Yeah, sure
00:26:04Sure you want a bite?
00:26:07I am hungry
00:26:10Maniac had done the unthinkable
00:26:16He had chomped on one of Mars' own bars
00:26:20He hadn't even gone for the unused end
00:26:22White kids just never put their mouths where black kids had theirs
00:26:26Mars Bar had no idea what to do or say next
00:26:31You must think you real bad or something coming down here with my girl
00:26:36I'm not your girl
00:26:38I'm not bad, I'm good
00:26:40Been good for as long as I can remember
00:26:41Uh, bad is good in this neighborhood
00:26:44Am I bad?
00:26:45Am I bad?
00:26:47It's none of my business
00:26:48If you're bad, let your mother or father tell you
00:26:50My mother?
00:26:52I don't grow up, Mars
00:26:53He just trash-talked me
00:26:54Come on
00:26:55I don't think you've quite got it
00:27:08Get away from me, Weston
00:27:14Don't be touching me
00:27:15I'm just trying to help
00:27:16You don't belong here
00:27:17You're supposed to be on the west side of Hector's street
00:27:19Don't listen to him
00:27:21Son, I think you better go home
00:27:23But I am home
00:27:25Look, man
00:27:26Sheesh, sheesh, sheesh
00:27:27I think
00:27:29You know what I mean
00:27:31Take him with your girl
00:27:31Get him out of here
00:27:32I don't know about y'all
00:27:35But y'all
00:27:36Y'all need to go on home, too
00:27:37They're just stupid kids
00:27:43Man, Dad
00:27:44We want to run with you
00:27:45Yeah
00:27:46He doesn't want to run right now
00:27:47What are you doing?
00:27:48Mama says that Mediac shouldn't come home just yet
00:27:50Let him go
00:27:52Lester, let him go
00:27:54Jeffrey
00:27:56Fish belly
00:28:02It was the ugliest thing any Eastie could say about a Westie
00:28:07Hester, Lester, going in the house, baby
00:28:12Doesn't make any sense
00:28:18Oh, this kind of stuff never does, Jeffrey
00:28:21You know, some black folks and some white folks have been angry at each other forever
00:28:26Yeah
00:28:27But I'm not white
00:28:29White people aren't white
00:28:32I'm tan, if anything
00:28:34Red when I'm excited
00:28:36Green when I throw up
00:28:37I was yellow with a fever once
00:28:40But never white
00:28:42I don't even want to be white
00:28:44It's such a boring color
00:28:45And you
00:28:46You're not black
00:28:48You're butter rum
00:28:50Mr. Bill's light fudge
00:28:52Hester and Lester are cinnamon
00:28:54Amanda's ginger snap
00:28:56Now licorice, that's real black
00:28:59And I've never, never
00:29:00Seen a licorice person
00:29:01Jeffrey
00:29:03Jeffrey
00:29:07Jeffrey
00:29:07You can't let it upset you
00:29:21Easy for you to say
00:29:24Maniac
00:29:25Can you fix my yo-yo?
00:29:28Sure
00:29:29Jeffrey
00:29:30If I knew of a way
00:29:33That would make it okay for you to stay
00:29:35Would you?
00:29:37What are you talking about?
00:29:39Untying Cobble's knot
00:29:41Free pizza! Free pizza! Free pizza!
00:29:44They do a lot of cheering, don't they?
00:29:47Not at all
00:29:48Yay!
00:29:50When it came to untangling Cobble's knot
00:29:52Maniac wanted more than free pizza
00:29:54He wanted to save his home
00:29:57This knot has more contortions
00:29:59Inns and L's
00:30:01Twists and turns
00:30:02Dips and doodles
00:30:03Than Alvine's brain
00:30:05Mr. Cobble
00:30:06Yeah?
00:30:07Jeffrey's gonna untie your knot
00:30:08Really, huh?
00:30:15Hey
00:30:15Nobody has been able to do this so far, my man
00:30:18Not even J.J. Thorndyke
00:30:20Who grew up to be a magician
00:30:22Or even Fingers Holloway
00:30:24Spending time in San Quentin
00:30:26For pickpocketing
00:30:27He couldn't do it
00:30:28What makes you think you're a Westy
00:30:30Like you can do it, huh?
00:30:32I think I can outfox it, sir
00:30:34You can outfox it
00:30:36Hey
00:30:39What's going on?
00:30:443
00:30:455
00:30:465
00:30:465
00:30:585
00:30:595
00:31:005
00:31:005
00:31:015
00:31:02buddy. What's he doing? I think he's gonna eat it. That's not bigger than Big John McNabb's
00:31:22foot.
00:31:32Yo, what's going on in there? I hope something's tricky.
00:31:54What's going on in there?
00:32:10What's going on in there?
00:32:16That's a Westie trick. Are you kidding me?
00:32:30Probably bride and old man cobbled. Westies are like that, you know.
00:32:36Maniac McGee's finest hour lasted about 45 minutes. Mars bar Thompson saw to that.
00:32:50This is all my fault. It was mine. You should have known better than to leave it out here.
00:33:08Come on.
00:33:10The funeral for his friend's beloved Encyclopedia A puts a rust maniac's dream of a happy life with Amanda.
00:33:32I can find another one.
00:33:36He knew that to protect her, he had to keep running.
00:33:54What an口 ha stem!
00:33:57What an口 ha dem upload!
00:34:02I'm here to make a 조vert in the sky.
00:34:10What an口 ha distraught, I don't wanna know.
00:34:12What an口 ha demoralbach sane, not cùng.
00:34:14Stay!
00:34:15Stay, Bobo!
00:34:17Stay!
00:34:18Stay, Bobo.
00:34:21So if we're really
00:34:26Gonna start again
00:34:29Where do we begin?
00:34:45Dear Bill family,
00:34:47I'm no good for you.
00:34:49I'm not even half good for you.
00:34:50Thanks for everything.
00:34:51I'll always love you.
00:34:52Jeffrey, no!
00:35:00Jeffrey?
00:35:02Bow wow, which way did Jeffrey go?
00:35:11Which way?
00:35:14You went into the west end?
00:35:15I'm going down, you stupid meatball.
00:35:25Wait, I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:35:28You just back up now.
00:35:30All right.
00:35:30I'm kind now.
00:35:33Shoot, shoot.
00:35:35I'm going without you, you stupid meatball.
00:35:39Wait, I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:35:46It's the frog puncher.
00:35:48Yeah, it's the maniac kid.
00:35:49Hey, you run away too?
00:35:51We're going to Mexico.
00:35:52Don't tell me where we're going.
00:35:54We figure Mexico's about as far away from our house as we can go in the food we get.
00:35:59That won't last you ten miles.
00:36:01I know.
00:36:02I ran away once.
00:36:03Happened to go to Mexico by coincidence, too.
00:36:06Holy mackerel!
00:36:07I don't even have a mackerel.
00:36:09I had to live on bananas for a month.
00:36:11I had to use the peels for my shoes.
00:36:13I could hardly walk without falling.
00:36:15I still got cactus marks on my back so I had to prove it.
00:36:17I'd show you, but I don't want to scare you.
00:36:20Maybe we'd better think about this, Piper.
00:36:23Oh, I'll tell you what.
00:36:24Why don't you let me take you home, and then I'll tell you about my trip, and then you can
00:36:29decide if you still want to run away.
00:36:31Gee, thanks!
00:36:32Just then flew down a monstrous crow as black as a tar barrel, which frightened both the
00:36:42heroes so they quite forgot their quarrel.
00:36:45What's a quarrel?
00:36:46It means that Tweedledum and Tweedledee forgot what they were fighting about.
00:36:51Oh.
00:36:53I don't feel like reading anymore, okay?
00:36:55He'll come back, won't he, Amanda?
00:37:00Won't he, Amanda?
00:37:02I don't know.
00:37:05I hope so.
00:37:08I would have never run away if I had a home.
00:37:10I wound up in Mexico after taking a wrong turn in Colorado, and I had to learn Spanish
00:37:15just to ask directions back.
00:37:17Did they make you go to school to learn it?
00:37:19Twelve hours a day and no recess.
00:37:21No recess?
00:37:22Well, not unless you count the times they took me out back and washed my mouth out soap.
00:37:26I had no idea running away would be so scary.
00:37:29I didn't think so.
00:37:30Then I lived with the Beals.
00:37:33You guys know the Beals?
00:37:34Uh-uh.
00:37:34No.
00:37:35Well, they were my family.
00:37:37I had a mom, a dad, a little sister and brother, a sister of my own age.
00:37:42Where have you been?
00:37:44Leave us in the police, John.
00:37:46We live right here, with this here, kid.
00:37:49Well, well, the frog man.
00:37:51I thought you were long gone.
00:37:53So what are you doing with my little brothers?
00:37:55Oh, I found them running away.
00:37:57What, again?
00:37:59Man, that's the fifth time this month.
00:38:01What's wrong with you two?
00:38:03We're sorry.
00:38:04Yeah, not half as sorry as you're gonna be when Dad hears about this.
00:38:07He's gonna go ballistic.
00:38:09You don't have to tell him.
00:38:10Please don't tell him, John.
00:38:12Yeah, I'll think about it.
00:38:16First, I gotta score to settle with this here maniac.
00:38:19Be careful, John.
00:38:20Remember how he smoked a fastball?
00:38:22And then he bunted Freddy.
00:38:23Yeah, but didn't John tell you what happened the next day?
00:38:30No, what?
00:38:31Yeah, what?
00:38:33Sure, John.
00:38:34You'll remember.
00:38:35Right here on this field the next day,
00:38:38you said that I was lucky
00:38:40that all you threw me was fastballs
00:38:42because you weren't ready to reveal your secret pitch.
00:38:45Remember?
00:38:47Yeah, and so I said,
00:38:49well, come on.
00:38:50I could hit anything.
00:38:51Pitch it to me.
00:38:52And you pitched it, and I missed it by a mile.
00:38:55And you kept pitching it to me all day.
00:38:58And I never even tipped a foul.
00:39:00Who's the pitch?
00:39:01It was the stop ball.
00:39:04The stop ball?
00:39:06Yeah, and you should have seen it.
00:39:07It came right up to the plate and stops,
00:39:10dead in the air.
00:39:12Wow.
00:39:13You didn't tell him, John?
00:39:16I guess you didn't want to show off, huh?
00:39:18Oh, yeah.
00:39:20Yeah, you know.
00:39:22Uh, hey, you know,
00:39:23my old man sure'd like to hear a story like that.
00:39:26Why don't you come home with us?
00:39:28Yeah, come home with us.
00:39:30It's all right with me.
00:39:32Guess I don't got any particular place I gotta be.
00:39:35Yeah!
00:39:35Now, when Maniac heard the word home,
00:39:42he was thinking more along the lines of the Beale House.
00:39:45You know, the standard roof over your head,
00:39:46three square meals a day kind of place.
00:39:48The barbed wire and Sergeant Fruitcake were not really part of the fantasy.
00:39:53You shall not be!
00:39:55You shall not be!
00:39:57In times like us,
00:40:01that's to remember our founding father,
00:40:04Alec Graham Mills,
00:40:05great, great granddaddy on your mama's side.
00:40:08God love her soul.
00:40:09Don't you forget it, mister!
00:40:10Hey, Russ!
00:40:13Hey, Piper!
00:40:13Good man, put your backs in that!
00:40:15Atta, buddy!
00:40:17What's the matter with you?
00:40:18You slackers,
00:40:18you left me here with all these beings.
00:40:20We gotta get them inside!
00:40:22They'll be coming for them!
00:40:24Look here,
00:40:24hold it right here.
00:40:25These are real men,
00:40:26they know how to take hold.
00:40:27We gotta be prepared for war!
00:40:30Our founding father,
00:40:31he predicted that those people
00:40:33would want to do battle one day,
00:40:34and that's why he divided this town in two.
00:40:37He put them on each side,
00:40:39put our people on the west side
00:40:41so they couldn't sneak up on us.
00:40:43Come on now, here!
00:40:44Here's real soldiers!
00:40:46Hey, let go!
00:40:47Hey, let this be a cute...
00:40:48Most times,
00:40:49the ratings of a lunatic
00:40:50don't add up to much more than a hill of beans.
00:40:53But when you're talking about
00:40:54a veritable mountain of beans,
00:40:57like Dad McNabb had in his house,
00:40:59well, that's when things start getting scary.
00:41:04Beans! Beans!
00:41:08The musical crew!
00:41:10The more you win,
00:41:11the more you choose!
00:41:12The more you choose!
00:41:13The better you feel!
00:41:15Let's eat beans at every meal!
00:41:17All right, you brain deads,
00:41:19knock it off!
00:41:30What is this place?
00:41:32Yeah, right.
00:41:33What's with all the beans?
00:41:36You got a problem with beans, mister?
00:41:39You better think about that.
00:41:41John, turn off the alarm.
00:41:43Shut the front door.
00:41:44Come on, boys!
00:41:45Let's have some dinner!
00:41:48What'd you make for dinner, Dad?
00:41:50Beans?
00:41:51Yes!
00:41:52Yes!
00:41:54And tell me why!
00:41:55Because they're tender, hearty, plump, and flavorful!
00:42:01Because they make the sounds of life!
00:42:04Eat your beans, maniac!
00:42:11Then you make the sounds of life, too!
00:42:13Come on, boy!
00:42:17Sit you down here!
00:42:20My word, boy!
00:42:22They won't try to take them away from us!
00:42:24Who, sir?
00:42:25The Easties, that's why they keep talking about battling us.
00:42:29But what they really want is our beans.
00:42:32Especially the ones with bacon.
00:42:34When's all this supposed to happen?
00:42:36In an instant.
00:42:37Anytime that the Easties decide to cross over Hector Street,
00:42:41they're going to come looting and marauding and overrun the whole west side.
00:42:44We can't let that happen.
00:42:46Because beans, as important as they are,
00:42:48are nothing compared to the real treasure.
00:42:51You're a smart boy.
00:42:52I'm going to show you something.
00:42:54Maniac wondered.
00:42:55Is this when everything would suddenly make sense?
00:42:59Prunes!
00:43:00In a word, no siree, Bob.
00:43:05Prunes?
00:43:05But, sir, I don't hear anybody talking about prunes or beans or battling.
00:43:11Then we're going to surprise them, ain't we?
00:43:13Hey, we're going to surprise them real good.
00:43:16Look out here.
00:43:17Mexico?
00:43:19Yeah.
00:43:20Goodbye, beans.
00:43:30Beans and Prunes, I've got to get out of here.
00:43:34Thanks for the hospitality.
00:43:37Good luck.
00:43:38Anywhere but here.
00:43:40Once again, that's where Maniac's feet were pointing.
00:43:42But when he saw Piper and Russell heading in the same direction, he decided to put the brakes on.
00:43:48Hey, where are you guys going?
00:43:50Come on, talk to me.
00:43:51We decided to run away again.
00:43:53Even Mexico's better than here.
00:43:55Oh, boy, I don't know.
00:43:57It's volcano season down in Mexico.
00:43:59The whole place is a sheet of red-hot lava.
00:44:02Might want to win until it cools down.
00:44:04It'll be volcano season here once Dad eats his beans.
00:44:06Beans.
00:44:07I can't eat any more beans.
00:44:11Well, hey, I got a certificate for a year's supply of free pizza.
00:44:14Pizza.
00:44:16Hey, hey.
00:44:17Hey, you two, get upstairs and do your homework before I pound your pointed little heads.
00:44:22Homework.
00:44:23Oh, what's so bad about homework?
00:44:26What?
00:44:28You're crazy.
00:44:30Okay, I got it.
00:44:32I got an idea.
00:44:33Why don't you let me help you with your homework?
00:44:35And I'll take you for pizza tomorrow.
00:44:38And I'll take you to the zoo.
00:44:41The zoo?
00:44:42We've been to the zoo.
00:44:44That's so lame.
00:44:46Well, I guess you won't get to see me ride a rhinoceros then, will you?
00:44:50A rhinoceros?
00:44:51Don't make me laugh.
00:44:52Hey, they don't call me maniac for nothing.
00:45:03Sleep in here with the brunt.
00:45:05Just pull up a pile and sleep anyway.
00:45:07I haven't said yet.
00:45:08Hey, maniac, you can sleep in your tent.
00:45:10All right, cool.
00:45:13Look, we do what we have to here.
00:45:14I ain't apologizing for it.
00:45:16It's just the way it is.
00:45:19Dad went a little crazy after my mom died.
00:45:29You're gonna ride the rhino tomorrow, right?
00:45:32Yeah, I said that I would, didn't I?
00:45:34Rhino!
00:45:36Rhino!
00:45:37Rhino!
00:45:37Rhino!
00:45:37Rhino!
00:45:37Rhino!
00:45:41I need a big favor.
00:45:43What's he doing?
00:45:44He kissed a rhino!
00:45:49He kissed a rhino!
00:45:51He didn't just kiss her.
00:45:52He romanced her.
00:45:54Oh!
00:45:56Oh!
00:45:56Maniac!
00:46:08Yeah!
00:46:09Yeah, boy!
00:46:10We're on the big coast trail!
00:46:12What are you going to do for us next?
00:46:25What, I haven't done enough already?
00:46:27No way!
00:46:28No way!
00:46:29No way!
00:46:30No way!
00:46:31No way!
00:46:32What Maniac did next made several PTA members swallow their dentures,
00:46:37or at least that's the legend.
00:46:39But it got the job done.
00:46:41Yes!
00:46:41And the mother!
00:46:42Another week of school and no complaining!
00:46:45Okay, Maniac!
00:46:46And Russell, you gotta do that book report!
00:46:49Yes, I will!
00:46:50That boy's okay!
00:46:52Bones away!
00:46:55That's a very good educational talk, boy!
00:46:58Oh, careful!
00:46:58Don't lean on the founder!
00:47:01The founder must be respected.
00:47:03The founder knew.
00:47:05He knew that those Easties may come over here to get my beans.
00:47:09Hear me, boy?
00:47:10Sir, they don't want your beans.
00:47:12I know, I live there.
00:47:13You didn't drink out of the same glass when you were over there, now, did you?
00:47:17Absolutely, I did.
00:47:19You kidding me?
00:47:20No, sir, they're just people, like us.
00:47:24They are not!
00:47:26We're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not!
00:47:30We're not, we're not, we're not!
00:47:32Maniac could see that getting Dad McNabb to smarten up wasn't going to be as easy as it was with his boys.
00:47:38Even though they kept asking for more, Maniac always had more to give.
00:47:45Standing in front of the Finsterwald house for ten minutes was his masterpiece.
00:47:49What's he doing?
00:47:53I don't know.
00:47:56It's Ben Timonious time!
00:47:58Get out of there!
00:48:01Hey, guys, what do you think about adding to the deal?
00:48:05If I do something else while I'm here, will you make it two more weeks of school?
00:48:10What, what are you gonna do?
00:48:13Are you gonna fight Fitzgerald?
00:48:14Go!
00:48:16No!
00:48:17Don't!
00:48:17This one will murder you!
00:48:19No!
00:48:20No!
00:48:20No!
00:48:26Alright, guys, his toe finished the wall.
00:48:28He better take off his sheets and hit the highway, because I'm coming in.
00:48:32Maniac, you're told!
00:48:36Maniac knew there was no ghost.
00:48:38The kids were afraid because they were told to be afraid.
00:48:41Just like they had been told that the Easties were bad.
00:48:44Finsterwald's ghost is killing us!
00:48:50Defeat Finsterwald, and who knew what other demons in town he could slay?
00:48:55Oh!
00:48:55Oh!
00:48:55Oh!
00:48:56Oh!
00:48:56Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:57Oh!
00:48:58Oh!
00:48:58Oh!
00:48:59Oh!
00:49:00Oh!
00:49:01Oh!
00:49:02Oh!
00:49:03Oh!
00:49:04Oh!
00:49:05Oh!
00:49:06Oh!
00:49:07Oh!
00:49:08Oh!
00:49:09Oh!
00:49:10Oh!
00:49:11Oh!
00:49:12Oh!
00:49:13Oh!
00:49:13Oh!
00:49:14Oh!
00:49:15That's two more weeks of school!
00:49:16Yeah!
00:49:17Yeah!
00:49:18Oh!
00:49:18Yeah!
00:49:19Yeah!
00:49:20Yeah!
00:49:20Yeah!
00:49:20Yeah!
00:49:20Yeah!
00:49:21Yeah!
00:49:22Yeah!
00:49:23Now, if you're wondering if this is that part in the story where things seemed too good
00:49:26to be true, well, give yourself a gold star.
00:49:31And then the teacher called on me, and I knew the answer.
00:49:36I did, too. I did, too.
00:49:38All right.
00:49:40I don't want to spell any two.
00:49:42Me, too.
00:49:44Men, we're ready on the right.
00:49:46We're ready on the left.
00:49:48We're ready on the far nine.
00:49:49We're locked and loaded and ready for bear.
00:49:52We're barely ready.
00:49:54Move to your bunkers.
00:49:55On the double.
00:49:58Oh, guys, come on.
00:50:00We're fully stocked and camouflaged.
00:50:03I'm proud of you, men.
00:50:05Take that easy slime.
00:50:07I got these, I mean, too.
00:50:09That's my boys.
00:50:12Stop.
00:50:12You're really great, Dad.
00:50:13Yes, sir.
00:50:15Stop it.
00:50:19What the hey?
00:50:21This is gross insubordination.
00:50:23Let him have it, men.
00:50:24It was only a drill.
00:50:39But to Maniac, it was a full-scale assault on everything he had tried to do with Piper and Russell.
00:50:45Not to worry.
00:50:46Maniac wasn't surrendering.
00:50:48It was more of a retreat.
00:50:49He was going to regroup, rethink, and gather reinforcements.
00:50:55How's the door, Dad?
00:50:57Amanda!
00:51:15Jeffrey!
00:51:15Jeffrey!
00:51:16Hey.
00:51:18Hey.
00:51:21I thought you were gone for good.
00:51:23No.
00:51:24I went to the west side.
00:51:25I tried to follow you.
00:51:28I wanted to cross over, but I was scared of how I looked.
00:51:32Different.
00:51:35Don't become like one of the westies, Jeffrey.
00:51:38No.
00:51:38I won't.
00:51:40But actually, the westies are just people.
00:51:45You know, even the McNabs are good deep down.
00:51:48Who are they, McNabs?
00:51:50Well, they're a family who lives in a bunker.
00:51:54And their dad has this cannon, and their whole house is filled with beans and prunes, and the beans hide the prunes.
00:52:02That's weird.
00:52:03And their kids have a frog who plays baseball.
00:52:05Not very well, but he tries.
00:52:08And I have to help them before they turn out as crazy as their father, and I need you to help me do it.
00:52:13So, will you help me?
00:52:14They're nice people, really.
00:52:17Who's nice?
00:52:18The McNabs.
00:52:20Down deep they are.
00:52:21This story came from anybody but you.
00:52:26What do you need me to do?
00:52:28All right.
00:52:28Come on, I'll tell you on the break.
00:52:29Come on.
00:52:49Yo, Fish.
00:52:50Never thought I'd see your pasty face around here again.
00:52:53I just heard something, and I want you to know about it.
00:52:55Yeah, well, let me tell you what I know.
00:52:57You better be scared of me, because I'm bad.
00:53:00I'm so bad, I'm almost afraid to wake up in the morning because of how bad I might have got overnight.
00:53:05Ain't that right, man?
00:53:07You're the baddest, Snickers.
00:53:09Don't be calling me no Snickers.
00:53:11You better believe I'm bad, or I'll just have to prove it.
00:53:18I'm bad, too.
00:53:20I'm so bad, I think I might be half black.
00:53:25Yo, mama.
00:53:27Well, you're a great aunt.
00:53:29What?
00:53:31Well, you're a distant cousin.
00:53:34This cat's crazy.
00:53:37At least I don't hide where it's safe.
00:53:40Who you say is I?
00:53:42You?
00:53:43Ever cross Hector?
00:53:44No.
00:53:45Well, that's because I never had a need to.
00:53:48Yeah, right, Snickers.
00:53:51You look here, girl.
00:53:52I'm going to have to...
00:53:53I'm going to have to what?
00:53:54Cross over to the west side?
00:53:56Aw, he's scared.
00:53:58Forget about your idea, Jeffrey.
00:53:59He won't come.
00:54:01I ain't scared of nothing.
00:54:03And what's this idea?
00:54:05I do it.
00:54:06Don't care what it is.
00:54:07All I wanted you to do was come to a party.
00:54:11That's all just a little kid's birthday party.
00:54:15That is, if you're bad enough.
00:54:18Tell me when and where.
00:54:21Mars bar will be there.
00:54:23Okay.
00:54:32This being the grand finale of our mythic saga,
00:54:35it would be nice to tell you that it began with a fanfare of trumpets
00:54:39or the crackle of musket fire.
00:54:42But it didn't.
00:54:45You numbskull, you said he was coming this way.
00:54:48Sorry.
00:54:49What are you guys doing?
00:54:51Taking a bath.
00:54:52Duh.
00:54:53What does it look like we're doing?
00:54:54We thought they got you.
00:54:55We thought they took your beans and left you for dead.
00:54:57Yeah, and then they really did something bad.
00:54:59Something awful, like...
00:55:01Like, drink your brains.
00:55:02You don't drink brains.
00:55:04Do, too.
00:55:05Just like milkshakes.
00:55:06You drink them with a straw.
00:55:08You can hear them flushing if you shake your head hard enough.
00:55:11Listen.
00:55:13Hey, it's my birthday.
00:55:14Are you coming to my party?
00:55:16Well, on one condition.
00:55:19What's that?
00:55:20That I get to bring somebody with me.
00:55:21Sure, bring everybody.
00:55:22We're going to party.
00:55:23Party!
00:55:24Party!
00:55:25Party!
00:55:25Party!
00:55:26Party!
00:55:27Party!
00:55:28Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:29Party!
00:55:30Party!
00:55:30Party!
00:55:31Party!
00:55:33That night, Piper's birthday celebration began like they all did at the McNabb house, with
00:55:38a blaze of candles atop a homemade founder's cake.
00:55:46Happy birthday.
00:55:48Happy birthday.
00:55:49Happy birthday.
00:55:51It's what happened next that was a little different.
00:55:57Come on.
00:55:58You know, special guest a lot.
00:56:00What is he talking about, Piper?
00:56:03What can that be? Everybody's here.
00:56:06It's Mars by Thompson.
00:56:13Hey, what are they doing here?
00:56:17So, the invasion has begun.
00:56:21High at the beam!
00:56:22High at the beam!
00:56:26High at the beam!
00:56:28High at the beam!
00:56:29What is this?
00:56:30Look, they said I could bring some friends on.
00:56:33We can all get along.
00:56:35The only way for us to get along is for y'all to get back to the east side where you belong.
00:56:39All right, I want you to spin, prepare for battle, and look at your announcer!
00:56:44Now, I'm going to count.
00:56:45By the time I hit zero, I want to see three of you out of here.
00:56:49Especially you.
00:56:50Ten.
00:56:51All right, bitch.
00:56:52Nine.
00:56:52I come over. I did it.
00:56:53Eight.
00:56:53It's done.
00:56:54Seven.
00:56:55And don't you be costing me no more.
00:56:56You hear me?
00:56:57Five.
00:56:57You can only see me half bad.
00:56:59Four.
00:56:59Come on, guys.
00:57:00It's a party.
00:57:01A party?
00:57:02Five save the beans!
00:57:05Five save the beans!
00:57:10I got a cannon.
00:57:12And I ain't afraid to use it.
00:57:15It ain't over till I say it's over.
00:57:17And it ain't over yet.
00:57:20Who's wrong, Scott?
00:57:21You're pretty over to me, Eastie.
00:57:23He's gonna better check his pants.
00:57:24Yeah, I bet it's full of Marge bars now.
00:57:29Hey, your little friend turned sticky.
00:57:31Oh, my God.
00:57:34Take the beans, boys!
00:57:36Hey, my man, man.
00:57:37Get out of here.
00:57:46All right.
00:57:48Whoa, what was that?
00:57:51Kids!
00:57:52They were the hour.
00:57:5410 ears to the floor.
00:57:56Oh, no, no.
00:57:57No!
00:57:57Yeah!
00:57:58Oh, my God!
00:57:59Oh, I'm just reprehensible and sorry, but I can't even look at this.
00:58:10Jeez, you lusty shrieks, you.
00:58:14This will have the murder attack.
00:58:17Oh, I'm terrible.
00:58:18Oh, God.
00:58:21You're going to be punished.
00:58:23Oh, I'm sorry.
00:58:27Enemy's ours.
00:58:28Hold it up, soldiers.
00:58:35The little mother's right over.
00:58:37It's on your mother's body, we see creepers.
00:58:40It's on your mother's body.
00:58:42No, don't hit her, guys.
00:58:44He's best. He's his best. He's his best. He's his best.
00:58:48Come on, God. He's his best. He's his best.
00:58:51Oh, Lord, they're going out a little faster.
00:58:56We've got to stop them.
00:58:57Let's go. Cut them off.
00:58:59He's his best. He's his best.
00:59:02Come on.
00:59:02Go, John.
00:59:03Hey, now you start this. Now I'm going to finish.
00:59:06Get in there. Let's move.
00:59:07All clear. Fire away.
00:59:09I'll get it. Go.
00:59:11Ah, he's his best.
00:59:15Ah, I'm back.
00:59:17I'm back.
00:59:19No.
00:59:20Run it, run it.
00:59:21Oh, Lord.
00:59:23Somebody else!
00:59:25Help!
00:59:26Ah, it's my father.
00:59:28Let's go!
00:59:30No!
00:59:31No!
00:59:32No!
00:59:38Ah, he's his best.
00:59:41Oh, God.
00:59:42Oh, God.
00:59:42Oh, God.
00:59:42Oh, God.
00:59:43Oh, God.
00:59:44Oh, God.
00:59:44Oh, God.
00:59:45Oh, God.
00:59:46Oh, God.
00:59:47Are you all right, big guy?
01:00:06I guess I gotta thank you.
01:00:08No, you don't.
01:00:09You, uh, you saved Piper.
01:00:11No, man.
01:00:12Yeah, I do.
01:00:15So thanks.
01:00:25Come on, Piper, are you okay?
01:00:27I'm so sorry.
01:00:29Did you get hurt?
01:00:30I'm sorry, I tried.
01:00:33First rate.
01:00:34First rate, soldier.
01:00:37You saved my boy.
01:00:39I'm putting you up for a special commendation.
01:00:43Uh-huh.
01:00:43Jeffrey McGee reporting for duty.
01:00:55Sir, with all due respect, I think we have some unfinished business.
01:01:01For longer than anyone could remember, the statue of the founder had towered over two mills.
01:01:09By pure measurement, it wasn't especially tall.
01:01:12Seven feet or so, give or take an inch.
01:01:15But the shadow it cast was so deep and dark that the town had all but forgotten what things
01:01:21looked like in the light.
01:01:22All that was about to change.
01:01:27Oh, cannon in the air!
01:01:31City!
01:01:34What's he doing?
01:01:35He got me.
01:01:37I think he's gonna blow the founder's head off.
01:01:40Whoa!
01:01:41What's that young man's name?
01:01:49Mars Bars Thompson.
01:01:51One gun salute.
01:01:53In honor of Mars Bars Thompson.
01:01:58Ready?
01:02:02Aim.
01:02:05Fire!
01:02:06Now, miracles come in all different sizes.
01:02:19There's your small miracles, like finding a dollar in your sock drawer.
01:02:22Then there's your more industrial-sized variety.
01:02:26Take anything from the Bible.
01:02:28Somewhere in between is what happened that night in two mills.
01:02:31Fire!
01:02:32Fire!
01:02:33Fire!
01:02:34Fire!
01:02:35Fire!
01:03:04Fire!
01:03:04Fire!
01:03:04That's the side.
01:03:15Did you do that?
01:03:18Who, me?
01:03:21Oh, whoa, look at that.
01:03:23Wow, a shooting star.
01:03:26That's what they want you to think.
01:03:29Younguns, listen up.
01:03:32It's obvious we've been tricked.
01:03:35It ain't these ciders that warn our beings.
01:03:38No, it's some aliens up there and UFOs
01:03:42beaming down a crop circle,
01:03:45cattle mutilating ways into the minds
01:03:48of every red-blooded American.
01:03:52But we've got to do something to stop that.
01:03:54Right?
01:03:55Follow me!
01:03:59Are you ever going to get off of me?
01:04:02He ain't going to start kissing me, is he?
01:04:04Um, home is this way.
01:04:10I can't.
01:04:11Don't tell me can't.
01:04:12I didn't come all the way out here and almost get killed for you to tell me can't.
01:04:16You're coming home with me.
01:04:18You're going to sleep in my room, which is going to be your room.
01:04:20I don't care if you sleep on the floor or the window still,
01:04:22but you're going to sleep there.
01:04:24Tonight, tomorrow night, the night after that, and every night.
01:04:28Well, except maybe if you want to sleep over Snickers' house, if he ever asked you.
01:04:33Well, what about the McNabs?
01:04:36Well, maybe once in a while you can sleep over there, if they ever ask you.
01:04:41But, say the 28th Sycamore is your home.
01:04:45You got that?
01:04:45Yeah, I got it.
01:04:48You sure you got it?
01:04:50I got it.
01:04:51Are you sure?
01:04:52Yeah, I got it.
01:04:53Okay, let's move.
01:04:55I'm going to leave this world behind me
01:05:00I'm going to run right out of here
01:05:03All my troubles, they can't find me
01:05:06I'm going to let them just appear
01:05:08I'll find a place to call my own
01:05:24Maniac, Maniac, Maniac, Maniac
01:05:35So, if you ever find yourself in Two Mills, PA,
01:05:41don't bother looking for a Maniac McGee t-shirt
01:05:44or souvenir Maniac glow-in-the-dark stickers.
01:05:48The legend of Maniac McGee lives on in a different way.
01:05:52Just ask someone who was there.
01:05:55Two years later, the East End and the West End built a new combined high school.
01:06:00And Maniac was a state champion in cross country.
01:06:04And he and Mars Barrett and Bum Gilliam led the football team
01:06:08to divisional championships, three years running.
01:06:13What happened to him and Amanda?
01:06:14And they had a beautiful little girl named Sarah Lee.
01:06:22You're Mrs. Maniac?
01:06:24Yep.
01:06:26No way!
01:06:27No way!
01:06:28Yes way.
01:06:29And we also had a home run hitting little fool
01:06:32named Maniac Jr.
01:06:35Okay, here comes the never-been hit stop ball.
01:06:38Yeah!
01:06:38Yeah!
01:06:39Yeah!
01:06:39I'm ready to get you!
01:06:41Okay!
01:06:45Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
01:06:47Ha ha ha!
01:06:49Yeah!
01:06:49I see him running from across the road, he thinks he's much like you.
01:07:14Oh, no, it's tough to see the color lines.
01:07:19The word he does, he thinks that I'm a maniac.
01:07:24So you're the one united backs in the whites.
01:07:30Maniac.
01:07:31You're the one united backs in the whites, you can do it.
01:07:47Maniac.
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