- 7 weeks ago
A witch, disgruntled by the fact that no one takes Halloween seriously anymore, decides to stir things up and disrupt the social gathering in her old house, as well as turn a couple of kids who love monsters into actual monsters.
Cast:
Gilda Radner - the Godmother/Witch
Bob Church - Rotten
John Leach - Goodly
Naomi Leach - Tender
Tony Molesworth - Small
Catherine O'Hara - Malicious
Fiona Reid - Nicely
Gerry Salsberg - Bazooey
Cast:
Gilda Radner - the Godmother/Witch
Bob Church - Rotten
John Leach - Goodly
Naomi Leach - Tender
Tony Molesworth - Small
Catherine O'Hara - Malicious
Fiona Reid - Nicely
Gerry Salsberg - Bazooey
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00What's happenin'?
00:01It's like being free
00:03Grab a witch and make a switch
00:06And see what you can be
00:09That's Halloween!
00:10Witch magic Halloween!
00:15Halloween!
00:16Witch magic Halloween!
00:27Halloween!
00:28Witch magic Halloween!
00:30Halloween!
00:31Halloween!
00:32Halloween!
00:33Halloween!
00:34Witch magic Halloween!
00:36Halloween!
00:37Halloween!
00:38Halloween!
00:39Halloween!
00:40Witch magic Halloween!
00:41Boo!
00:42Rawr!
00:43Hey, hey, gender!
00:45Nobody will know who we are!
00:47Hey, Small!
00:48We're gonna scare everybody!
00:51I love Halloween!
00:53Me too!
00:55I hate Halloween!
01:00Blah!
01:01Yeah, Malicious!
01:03It's rotten!
01:04Rotten!
01:05Rotten!
01:06Rotten!
01:07You know...
01:08Halloween is for children!
01:10I mean, one wouldn't want to see grown-up adults running around in silly costumes!
01:18Oh, I don't know, Goodly!
01:19I think that dressing up is just immature, but Halloween, surely it could be nice for everyone!
01:26I mean, I think it's important that adults learn to express themselves!
01:29What we need is something to make Halloween meaningful to adults as people!
01:36Yes, my friends, with community cooperation, a little brainstorming, listing our priorities,
01:42we could achieve a really definitive Halloween experience!
01:47Get people involved!
01:49For instance...
01:50Couldn't we have a party or something?
01:52Party, schmarty!
01:54Dress up like monkeys and hang from the chandeliers!
01:57You can just go as you are, rotten!
02:00Yeah?
02:01Why don't you rent yourself out as a spook?
02:03You'd make a fortune!
02:04Now, now, you two!
02:06I think we could have a nice party!
02:08We could decorate some place as a haunted house!
02:10Right on, nicely!
02:12I know!
02:13Where there is a haunted house!
02:15The old empty house on the edge of town!
02:17Exactly!
02:18What we need to do is organize!
02:21Delegate responsibility!
02:23Why, I intend to make this the most important Halloween this town has ever seen!
02:28Nicely!
02:29You phone everybody and invite them to a Halloween party they'll never forget!
02:33And you, malicious!
02:35You look after the food!
02:36Get candy kisses, pumpkin pie, taffy apples, et cetera, et cetera!
02:41And I, goodly, will investigate the old empty house that people seem to think is, uh, uh...
02:48Haunted!
02:50Haunted!
02:51Uh, quite right!
02:53Yes!
02:54Rotten, you shall accompany me!
02:56Oh!
02:57Me?
02:58Yeah!
02:59Well, I mean, sure, but I mean, uh...
03:01Why not?
03:02Well!
03:03Off we go!
03:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:21I'm a washed-up witch, a faded flower.
03:28Here it is, Halloween, and not one call.
03:31I've been waiting all day.
03:34It wasn't always like this for me.
03:36Back in the old days, I was a star in demand.
03:40I turned princes into frogs twice a week.
03:44I could grant every wicked wish in the book.
03:47See this magic wand?
03:51Magic power going to waste.
03:58Watch this.
04:02What a performance!
04:04Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:09Now, nobody wants me.
04:15It's Halloween, and I'm unemployed.
04:20Please, somebody call.
04:24Huck.
04:26Boy, look at this dump.
04:29It's really rotten.
04:31A total wreck.
04:33An absolute disaster.
04:36What a run-down mess.
04:38No one's been here for years.
04:41It's perfect.
04:45We'll put the stereo over there.
04:47Yeah.
04:48The food over there.
04:49Yeah, yeah.
04:49We'll clear a big dancing space.
04:52Yeah.
04:53And we're all set.
04:54Yeah.
04:58Why, bless my black-laced bloomers.
05:01A party!
05:02Oh, I'm having a party tonight.
05:05Just you wait, my darlings, till you meet your gracious hostess.
05:11Oh!
05:17We're done for the air.
05:20Come on, small.
05:22We'll scare them all.
05:23Oh, yeah.
05:28Take a treat.
05:29Quiet, small, and tender.
05:32Oh, don't you look cute?
05:33Cute!
05:36Did you hear that?
05:38Cute!
05:40Ooh!
05:41Ooh!
05:42Ooh!
05:43Trick-or-treat!
05:44My, my!
05:46Small and tender.
05:47Here's a little something for you.
05:50Gee, small, this is awful.
05:53It's the pit!
05:54Ooh!
06:02Trick-or-treat!
06:03Smell my feet!
06:05Give me something that you'll eat!
06:07Well, well, look who's here.
06:09Small and tender.
06:10Oh, I'm so scared!
06:12Here, have one of my famous party hors d'oeuvres.
06:16What are they?
06:17What are they?
06:18Sardine meringue.
06:20Ooh, that's yucky.
06:22Better at a quiet taste, you little brat.
06:24Guess who?
06:26Small and tender.
06:28Looking for handouts?
06:30Here's some for you, too, Sonny.
06:31Oh, what kind of monster are you?
06:34Don't get smart with me, Malicious.
06:37Don't worry.
06:38You'll be the last to know.
06:40Now help me carry the rest of this food.
06:43Watch out!
06:44It's smashing the pepperoni peppermint!
06:47Oh, oh, oh.
06:51Halloween is many fun.
06:53We didn't scare anybody.
06:55Everybody recognized us.
06:58They all knew who we were.
07:00Guess who's your babysitter tonight?
07:02Bazooie, Bazooie!
07:03Are you gonna read us a story, huh?
07:05Are you gonna...
07:05A story!
07:06Oh, please!
07:07Oh, sure.
07:08How about a spooky Halloween story?
07:11Pooie, I'm fed up with Halloween.
07:13It's boring.
07:15Oh.
07:16Oh, okay.
07:17Um...
07:18Well, here's one about a fairy godmother.
07:21Oh, okay.
07:22Good.
07:23Now, this fairy godmother lived in a beautiful castle, and the fairy godmother turned the
07:31frog into a handsome prince, and they lived happily ever after.
07:35Gee, Bazooie, we could have used the fairy godmother tonight.
07:38We got all dressed up and didn't scare anybody.
07:43If we had a fairy godmother, she could change me into a real ghost.
07:48And a real wolfman.
07:49Well, there's really no such thing as a fairy godmother.
07:54I wish I could be a real wolfman.
07:57I wish I could be a real ghost.
08:01I wish I could be a real wolfman.
08:03I wish I could be a real ghost.
08:07I wish I could be a real wolfman.
08:12A call.
08:13A call.
08:14My word.
08:15Two engagements on the same evening.
08:18Don't go away, people.
08:21I shall return.
08:23Thank you, Mr.
08:49Ta-da!
08:50Oh, a fairy godmother.
08:52Fairy godmother, my foot.
08:54That's a wicked witch.
08:56So okay, I ain't the Avon lady.
08:58I just know I heard the Halloween wishes of little children.
09:04Someone wants to be a real wolfman.
09:07Now, who might that be?
09:10Me, me.
09:11Can I be a real wolfman?
09:13Please, please.
09:14No, Small, don't do it.
09:16But out, pal.
09:17Can't you see the kid's got a real need here?
09:19Yes, yes.
09:20Happy Halloween, Small.
09:27Hey, neat.
09:28Look at me, look at me.
09:30Gee, Small, that's terrific.
09:32Can I be a real ghost, please, please?
09:39You mean, step out.
09:41You really need to...
09:42Stop, stop.
09:44I'm the babysitter.
09:45How am I going to explain this?
09:47Will you relax?
09:48Watch an old bro here.
09:53You see?
09:56Tell me, my boy.
09:58What's your name?
09:59Bazooie.
10:00Bazooie.
10:01What would you really, really like to be on this scary old Halloween night?
10:07Oh, gosh, oh, jeepers.
10:09Wappity doody, holy mackerel.
10:10I don't know.
10:12I don't know.
10:14Oh, I want to be a Frankenstein monster.
10:18What an inspired choice.
10:21This will be a personal triumph.
10:28Do it again.
10:30Now, darling, allow me to extend to you a most cordial invitation to this evening's festivities.
10:49Come to my party.
10:51A Halloween party?
10:52It's just about to become one.
10:57Nice party.
10:58Oh, you bet.
10:59Yeah, yeah.
11:00Fine, fine.
11:00What are you doing these days?
11:01See, they're all crazy.
11:02Oh, single thing.
11:03If the coach had caught a kick, they would have wanted a game.
11:06So I said to her that he'd be so good at us.
11:09But I said to her, and you like this, okay?
11:11And now, a dazzling display of magical mischief.
11:23Nicely passed out.
11:25Already?
11:27Food.
11:27Malicious.
11:29Just like malicious.
11:31Just malicious.
11:33Just a ding-dong minute.
11:35I put a lot of effort into these.
11:37Peanut butter corned beef balls.
11:39Chocolate gefilte fish.
11:40Take my garlic taffy apples.
11:44Please.
11:45Ow, ow, ow.
11:47Hey.
11:47Maybe this place is haunted.
11:50What?
11:52Oh, my dear.
11:56Oh, my dear.
12:02Oh, my dear.
12:04Oh, my dear.
12:05It's a little rich.
12:06No, lady voice.
12:08And now, for a dazzling display of magical mischief.
12:19Everybody was scared of us.
12:21Gee, nobody knew who we were.
12:24My sweet heart.
12:25The party's over before anybody had any fun.
12:29I guess if you scare people, they tend to avoid you, you know.
12:32Yes, but you don't...
12:33I don't think I want to scare people anymore.
12:36Yes, but...
12:37Yeah, well, listen, I've got to get these little kids back home again.
12:41So if you please turn us back to us again.
12:43Yes, but...
12:44Oh, come, come, darling.
12:47We just started.
12:49The climax of the evening as of...
12:51Oh, hang on a second.
12:53I seem to have just laid something here.
12:56Some rat stole my magic wand!
13:00You mean we have to stay like this?
13:03Oh, but my little dears, you look wonderful.
13:06We won't be able to, uh, relate to others.
13:10Even Mommy and Daddy...
13:13I want to go home!
13:15Do you see those monsters?
13:25It's incredible!
13:25Horrifying!
13:26Wall and Tender and Mizzoui are missing!
13:29I'll bet the monsters got them.
13:31Wall and Tender and Mizzoui?
13:33It's terrible!
13:34Monsters!
13:34They'll get us off!
13:35What did I say?
13:38Hey, uh, malicious.
13:40You've got something sort of stuck in your head there.
13:42Looks like some kind of magic wand.
13:45Okay, keep it down.
13:47Over here.
13:48This could be the real thing, baby.
13:51Try it out.
13:52What am I supposed to do?
13:54Go abracadabra?
13:55Bing-bong-booing?
13:56Try something!
13:57Make a wish!
13:58What do you want?
13:59What do you want?
13:59I'm starving.
14:00Ah, pocus pocus.
14:03Give me a maraschino liver burger.
14:06Wow!
14:07An old gym sock.
14:09That's pretty close.
14:11Try again.
14:11Come on.
14:12Try again.
14:13Don't push me!
14:14I'm just spoon-bong.
14:16Give me your roast turkey with tuna and raisin stuffing.
14:19Smothered in whipped cream and ketchup.
14:23I told you.
14:25You're getting the hang of it now.
14:27It's a bag of garbage.
14:30Great!
14:31Great!
14:33It's all my fault.
14:36Why, if it hadn't been for me,
14:40this catastrophe would never have taken place.
14:44Oh, you mustn't blame yourself, Goodly.
14:47You can be the leader you really are.
14:50Leader?
14:50I know in my heart that underneath it all,
14:53those are not bad monsters.
14:55If we could just talk to them.
14:58Leader.
14:58They need health and love and understanding
15:01so that they can be rehabilitated back into society.
15:05You're right, Nicely.
15:06We will strike back.
15:09What?
15:10No.
15:10Listen, my friends.
15:12Listen!
15:14Quiet!
15:15Everybody!
15:15Now, I know.
15:17We are besieged by mysterious and terrifying monsters
15:22that have already taken three of our young people.
15:25But talk will not help us now.
15:27We need action.
15:29We must organize, pull together,
15:32rally our courage,
15:33strengthen our hearts,
15:35and pursue these frightful creatures to the end.
15:39We'll make this world safe
15:40for our families,
15:42for society,
15:44for democracy,
15:46for the civilizations
15:48of the world!
15:51Let's go!
15:51Destroy the monsters
15:53and rescue the children!
15:56Look, all we gotta do
15:58is find out who stole my magic wand,
16:00which, my darling,
16:02is not going to be as difficult
16:04as you might at first suppose.
16:07Uh-oh.
16:08Oh, I don't like the looks of this.
16:13What's going on?
16:15Come on!
16:16There's monsters on the rampage!
16:18We're gonna track them down!
16:19Uh-oh.
16:21Help!
16:22Monsters!
16:24Monsters!
16:24Here they are!
16:26Here they are!
16:28After them!
16:29Head for the woods!
16:31Mercy!
16:32I don't even know these people!
16:34Here they are!
16:35Oh!
16:37Oh!
16:38Forget the food, greedy guts!
17:00What I want is money!
17:02We'll be rich!
17:04We'll be rich!
17:05I'll turn that into a hunk of pure gold!
17:08All I can zap!
17:11You're getting there!
17:13You're really cooking!
17:15Try over here!
17:17Doin' it into a pile of money!
17:19Abracadabra!
17:22Come on!
17:23We wanna get rich!
17:25Rotten!
17:26This is a rotten idea!
17:28My magic wand appears!
17:33Let's go!
17:36You don't know nothin'!
17:39Give me that!
17:40Kazami!
17:42Kazowie!
17:43Cock-a-me-me!
17:44Come to mama!
17:59Mess with my magic wand, huh?
18:05In here!
18:06Please, Miss Witch!
18:13You have to understand, we're just ordinary people, and these kids, I'm responsible for
18:19them, and I just have to get the real tender and the real small back home.
18:24Don't get me wrong, we've had a great time, but a person just can't go around being something
18:29he's not.
18:30And besides, things have really gotten out of hand.
18:33Please, turn us back!
18:35We'll be allowed to go home!
18:38Uh-oh!
18:43Yay!
18:45Oh, thank you, Miss Witch!
18:48Thank you, Mrs. Witch!
18:49Thank you, fairy godmother!
18:53Hey, Kevin, you're here!
18:55They're down that way!
18:57Yee-ow!
19:00Oh, thank you!
19:01Oh, what's this?
19:04Hold it!
19:06Stop!
19:08Hey, it's Bazooie!
19:10And small and tender!
19:12They're okay!
19:13Fear not, young people!
19:15You're safe now!
19:17Intrepidly striving in the face of terrible danger, we have overcome and captured these dreadful,
19:24disgusting monsters that have terrorized this town.
19:27Those aren't monsters!
19:28That's rotten!
19:30And that's malicious!
19:32Someone's to blame for this!
19:34Oh, boy, let me out of here!
19:36I don't know why I bother in the first place.
19:39What a fizzle!
19:42Halloween.
19:43Stick it in your ear, dear.
19:46People got no appreciation these days.
19:51Maybe it's me.
19:53I don't know.
19:54And now, for a dazzling display of magical monstrosity!
20:06Bazooie, you're all right!
20:11Do me!
20:12Do me!
20:14With pleasure, my sweet...
20:16This is what Halloween is all about, my darlings!
20:24Every day we go about our lives in the same old way.
20:28But once a year, we can be whatever and whomever we please!
20:33Pretend!
20:34Let your secret fancies run wild!
20:36Now, you, my dear, what would you like to become for one little night, hmm?
20:43Well, if it wouldn't be any trouble...
20:45Trouble?
20:46Then I'd like to be...
20:48I would really like to be...
20:50Go on, dearie, yes.
20:52A vampire!
20:56Could I be a fairy princess?
20:59Get a veritable tinkerbell!
21:04I want to be...
21:05I want to be...
21:07Attila the Hun!
21:11Make me a devil!
21:13I want to be a movie star!
21:15I want to be a cowboy!
21:16Make me a queen!
21:17Hey, I want to be a queen star!
21:17I want to be an actress!
21:19I want to be an astronaut!
21:20Hey, I want to be a hockey puck!
21:22I want to be a cowboy!
21:23I love you, my dear!
21:27Come to my humble mansion and I'll turn everybody on!
21:31If you're stuck inside and you can't get out, but you feel like being free!
21:38Grab a whip!
21:39Make me switch and see what you can be!
21:43That's Halloween!
21:45Witch Magic Halloween!
21:49Halloween!
21:51Witch Magic Halloween!
21:53Halloween!
21:56Halloween!
21:56Halloween!
21:56Halloween!
21:56Halloween!
21:57Halloween!
21:57Halloween!
21:58Halloween!
21:58Halloween!
21:58Halloween!
21:59Halloween!
21:59Halloween!
22:00Halloween!
22:01Halloween!
22:02Halloween!
22:03Halloween!
22:04Halloween!
22:05Halloween!
22:06Halloween!
22:07Halloween!
22:08Witch Magic Halloween!
22:10Halloween!
22:11Halloween!
22:12Halloween!
22:13Halloween!
22:14Witch Magic Halloween!
22:16Halloween!
22:17Halloween!
22:18Halloween!
22:19Halloween!
22:20Witch Magic Halloween!
22:21Halloween!
22:22Halloween!
22:23Halloween!
22:23Halloween!
22:23We'll see you next time.
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