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Masculinity and Money
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00:00This week on the 77% Street Debate.
00:11Poor men are still men, but in terms of society's standards, poor men are lesser men than richer men.
00:17He's still the man. It shouldn't just be about provision. It shouldn't just be about money.
00:23It should be about the other things he brings.
00:26If he earns less than his family, I know he still has the X and Y chromosomes, so scientifically he's still a man.
00:39Hello and welcome back to the 77% Street Debate.
00:42This week we are back in the home of the ogre, the boss, the big man.
00:47Of course I'm talking about Lagos, Nigeria.
00:49And here in the city where everything is done big, so is masculinity.
00:53And so tied is this idea of masculinity and money that expressions like man must hustle are very common here.
01:00But today we are asking, what happens if the Mrs. Ogre is making more money than the ogre?
01:05When she's earning more, is he still a man?
01:08Who better to answer this question for me than some fellow Legotians, as they're called here.
01:13And I want to start with you, Evans, because I know you have a very interesting perspective on this.
01:18So do you believe that money maketh the man?
01:20Yes, money does maketh the man.
01:22Okay, let's talk a little bit about that.
01:24What does it mean then about poor men?
01:25Are they not men?
01:27Well, poor men are still men, but in terms of society's standards, poor men are lesser men than richer men.
01:33Oh, poor men are lesser men than richer men.
01:35Okay, so describe to me what a man is.
01:37For you, what are the characteristics that one must espouse to be called a man's man?
01:42For a man to be called a man, you should be able to provide a certain level of security, not just for yourself, but for the people around you.
01:49In terms of financial security, in terms of putting off a roof over their head, in terms of food provisions, or down to the basic needs, you should be able to cater for those things, to be able to call yourself a man.
02:00Let me put you on the spot then.
02:01Are you doing that?
02:02Are you the man's man that you're describing?
02:04Yes, I am.
02:05I'm the only man in my family, so yes.
02:07So we'll come to the pressures of the family in just a short while, but let me hear from Uche, because I know that you also have a similar perspective.
02:13You're laughing, because you know what I'm about to ask.
02:15Does money maketh a man?
02:17In some sense, yes.
02:18As a man, you need to do certain things.
02:20You need to be able to provide, you need to be able to protect your family.
02:23And even down to care, if you don't have money, you can't really express care.
02:27It's going to seem like you're just doing plenty talk, if you can actually show some workings.
02:31What do you mean when you say express care?
02:33Like a hug, a kiss, a cuddle?
02:36Gifting.
02:36Let's say a rose, let's say a gift box, let's say a car, let's say a fancy vacation.
02:43You can't do any of that.
02:44That's interesting.
02:45So for Evans, it's about provision.
02:47For you, it's also provision, but his is tied to protection as well.
02:50Amara, let me come to you.
02:51At just 17, you're the youngest by far here.
02:54And yet, your ideas and philosophies around this subject are very traditional, one might say.
03:00Yes, they are traditional in a sense of we are talking about what we see happening around us.
03:05There is still that sense of, and the culture and the shadowing of things like bride pricing
03:09and people coming and saying, oh, my child will be well off when they're finally married off
03:13or they finally get a husband and that type of thing.
03:16That's when I can rest.
03:17And I think it's still that thing of, it is still in our society today where we understand
03:22that to have a relationship and to have a marriage, there needs to be that care and provision
03:27that comes from one to the other.
03:29But that doesn't mean I agree that that is how we should go.
03:31It is just what exists in today's society, that the man is seen as the caregiver, the breadwinner
03:36of the family, the man of the home.
03:39They are the ones that provide for the family.
03:41And if the woman then makes more, it unsettles that balance, sort of.
03:44Because then how is he still the man if he's not the one providing?
03:48Is she the man?
03:49That type of question.
03:50Okay, so for you, much like Evans and Uche, manhood is about provision, it's about protection
03:55and provision has to be financial.
03:56Yes, but that's sadly what should not be the case because we are modernizing.
04:01So men should not be defined by wealth, but sadly they still are.
04:04Aisha, we're talking about a culture, a society that you're also a part of, but you hold a very
04:09different view from this.
04:10Tell me what you think about this.
04:11He's still the man, in my opinion, because it shouldn't just be about provision, it shouldn't
04:17just be about money, what if he doesn't have a job.
04:22It should be about the other things he brings, protection, support, emotional stability and
04:29so on and so on.
04:30But we've heard here from Evans that in order for you to provide those things like support,
04:34like protection, you need to have money.
04:36What do you say about that?
04:37In this situation, she's earning, she's not poor, she's just earning more than him.
04:44So I believe he's also providing, just not to the scale where the woman is providing.
04:50So it shouldn't take away from the man that he isn't a man or he cannot make certain decisions
04:57in the home because he's not earning as much as the wife is earning.
05:01All right, let me ask you some.
05:03Are you going to be okay dating somebody who earns less than you?
05:06Will you respect him in the household if he's making less?
05:09Yes, I will.
05:09If masculinity is defined by how much you make, then billionaires should be called what?
05:15Kings?
05:15They are still men, do you understand?
05:17They are still masculine.
05:18So masculinity doesn't define the level of their finance or if he earns less than his
05:25feminine.
05:25No, he still has the X and Y chromosomes.
05:28So scientifically, he's still a man.
05:30Because I had some chat over there, Oche, you did not like what was being said here.
05:35Not like I didn't like what was being said.
05:37It's just a lot of things didn't really make sense to me.
05:39Let's answer the question first.
05:41You know, if being poor makes you a lesser man, then a billionaire is a what?
05:45Who gets to define what masculinity is?
05:48As long as Nigeria is concerned, being rich, being a billionaire makes you king.
05:52A poor man, obviously you will save a dog before you save a poor man.
05:55You'll save, sorry for that.
05:57I wasn't ready for that.
06:00You'd rather save a dog than a poor man.
06:03That's the society we live in.
06:05That's the society we live in.
06:06Wow.
06:06Okay.
06:07So this society that has so much pressure, where did these ideas come from?
06:11Let me actually ask a sociologist here, Ebenezer.
06:15These ideas don't just sprout out of thin air, right?
06:18So when did Nigerians start to form these beliefs?
06:21Actually, it's not a Nigerian mentality because it's a general mentality.
06:26The first thing is survivor of the fittest.
06:28Every human being, either male or female, the first thing you are looking at is how to survive.
06:33So this differentiation now comes to what is the level of security I can build around me.
06:39But where we now got it wrong is when we now start seeing relationship as a term of two persons rather than two people coming together to form one.
06:48So when you are coming together to form one, you are not actually competing with yourself.
06:53But rather, you are now a team.
06:54It does not matter who brings what.
06:56What is important is it is available.
06:59We are surviving.
07:00We are scaling.
07:01And we are not the way we were yesterday.
07:03Okay, I should also make it clear that we're discussing this based on heteronormative relationships because that's what's legally acknowledged in this country.
07:11So, Evans, back to you.
07:13We're hearing that it doesn't matter who earns what so long as it's coming in the same pot.
07:17So why should it matter?
07:18It doesn't necessarily matter who earns what.
07:20But like I said earlier.
07:21Yeah, but you just said.
07:22I'm still standing on what I said, yeah.
07:24Let me use me, for example.
07:25It doesn't matter if who I am with is earning more than I am.
07:28I'm still going to provide.
07:29I'm still going to pay for dates when we go out.
07:31I'm still going to do everything I need to do as a man.
07:34If you choose to, okay, today, oh, I want to take care of my treats.
07:38Like I said, what you earn doesn't concern my provision as a man.
07:42Whether I earn less or you earn more, as long as I'm still able to provide that security, the roof of our head, the food we eat, the basic needs, I'm still a man.
07:52So are you doing this provision?
07:53Are you providing for her or for you?
07:56We're together now.
07:57So me providing for her is providing for me.
08:00Because if I give her money to make food, she's making food for the house.
08:03Let me hear from Amar right here.
08:05You just exclaimed.
08:07What's going through your mind?
08:08No, I think that with every definition of the man, there is the other half that we've been talking about, the woman.
08:14And in our society, it is still very ingrained that the woman is the carer of the household.
08:19And so if the woman then is making more money, are they still expected to care and cook for the household as the woman?
08:26No, they are expected to be the breadwinners to go to work, not to care for the children, for the household.
08:31In our society today, sometimes men stay at home and instead of going to work, they care for the children and they care for the household.
08:37And that is okay.
08:39But that definition of the man, the breadwinner, as we have all, as you have said in the beginning of this video, the ogre, the one who's providing for the family, they are the man.
08:48And so the woman in that sense, if they are making more than the man, is the breadwinner and is the man.
08:54So that's going to disturb the balance, as you said earlier.
08:56You had something to say about this.
08:58We don't have the structure and the social structure to the way we had it back then when everybody had to go to work or the man had to go to work and the woman stays at home.
09:06But now everything is becoming more in-house.
09:11Husband can be working from home while the wife is working from home.
09:14They do the house chores together.
09:15So a lot of times, what brings about these disparities?
09:18Because a man thinks, oh, when I start washing, when I start cooking, she's going to disrespect me.
09:23Because you introduced tradition, culture, and how things were in the previous times, I'd like to ask you, Francis, because before colonization, the Igbos, the Yorubas, and different kinds of cultures, your women were uplifted and empowered, and they did have earning power.
09:37So why this dynamic now?
09:39I feel that that's basically like upbringing to some extent, and nothing really changed.
09:44I feel it depends on how you look at it.
09:46I still know a lot of people that don't depend on men, but the vast majority of people, quote unquote, depend on men because their families bring them up that way.
09:53In some sense.
09:54Or get married, and then you can provide for the family.
09:57Or everything will get okay once you get married to Honodogu.
10:00So, I mean, probably society and family.
10:02So let me ask you the same pointed question I asked.
10:04Evans, would you date a woman who is earning more than you?
10:07Yes.
10:08Because, first things first, nothing really concerns me what she's earning.
10:11Because, I mean, I'm going to work.
10:13I'm going to take care of the family.
10:14I'm going to take care of her.
10:16And her money is her money.
10:17As everyone says, my money is the family's money.
10:19So if her money is her money, and it doesn't matter if she's making billions to your millions, then why are we having this debate?
10:27Why are you feeling less of her money if her money doesn't count?
10:29I feel we didn't really break certain things down.
10:32If you're earning significantly lower, like you can't take care of the family, and she's earning way higher, then you feel a bit somehow.
10:38But if you're earning relatively okay, and she's earning billions, none of your business, provide for the family.
10:42Because that is your duty.
10:43For you, the idea that you have to provide, even if you're earning less, is what's critical.
10:48Chisom, I saw your hand up.
10:49So, with all they are saying, if a woman earns more, does her money, I would still provide.
10:55You are still the man, even if she earns more than you.
10:57Do you understand?
10:58It doesn't make you any less of a money.
10:59It doesn't reduce your masculinity level.
11:01All right, let me ask Aisha, because I did hear her saying something behind me here.
11:05Is it time for us to redefine masculinity, to redefine what provision means, as Chisom is suggesting?
11:12Yes.
11:13So, as Chisom said, masculinity is not tied down to just the financial benefits you get from a man.
11:21What about the protection, the support he gives you?
11:25If you're earning more than him, is he going to take care of the kids when he needs to?
11:32Would he take them to school?
11:34Would he buy groceries on your behalf?
11:38Like, you pay, but he goes and buys those things.
11:41It's just toxic masculinity, sincerely.
11:44People just feel like, if I don't have money, I'm dominant.
11:48If I don't have the money, why am I together with a woman?
11:51Toxic masculinity, Evans?
11:52I wouldn't call it toxic masculinity, in my sense.
11:54I understand what you mean by toxic masculinity.
11:56But we're talking about a situation where we live in a society where everything, I'm sorry, everything is tied to capitalism.
12:01I mean, as a man, if you don't have money, if you're broke, you cannot provide emotional support to anybody.
12:07I'm sorry.
12:08Like, you're thinking about your life.
12:11You're thinking about how to pay your children's school fees.
12:13You're thinking about, you go to work, somebody insults you outside because you don't have money, and you come back to the home.
12:20Would you be able to provide that level of emotional support?
12:23As opposed to, you're paying your children's school fees, you're setting them on vacations, you're coming back from your office, and you come home.
12:31You'll be a happier father.
12:32You'll be a better father because you have the money to provide that security.
12:37So, is it just about financial needs?
12:42Is it just about the money you provide to the family, the vacations you take your children on?
12:48And why do you feel less because you don't earn as much as the woman?
12:54Like me, like I said, I'm not bothered about what she earns.
12:58As long as I'm able to do my part as a man.
13:01If you're earning billions, I'm earning millions.
13:03I'm still paying for the house.
13:05I'm still taking care of the children.
13:06Ebenezer.
13:07We're still seeing and viewing the relationship as a competition.
13:11If you were insulted outside, once you get home, it's supposed to be your comfort zone.
13:16But when you're not competing in your house, you are fighting the war inside your house.
13:22You go out, you are still fighting inside your house.
13:24Where is your comfort zone?
13:27So, let's flip it a bit.
13:29Yeah, let's say a situation where she's not the bologna.
13:33She's an average mother that stays at home to look out for the children.
13:37And let's put back this scenario where you come back from work.
13:42You've been insulted outside.
13:43You come back home.
13:44Your children have 18.
13:45Your wife is looking at you like, what were you doing outside the entire day?
13:48So, would that still be your solace?
13:50Actually, this is it.
13:51When I started, I said, it's survival.
13:55Male survive.
13:56Women also survive.
13:58Then they come together.
13:59Once you're in a relationship or you're in a marriage,
14:02if the husband is poor, the family is poor.
14:05If the wife is poor, the family is poor.
14:08So, except you see both as a unit,
14:11even if you're coming, even if you're in that situation,
14:15in the first instance,
14:17both of you have to be standing on your feet
14:19before you decide to get into marriage,
14:22you get married.
14:23Both.
14:24Let me jump in here.
14:25Let me jump in.
14:27I like where this debate is going.
14:28But because you introduced bride price,
14:30and it's something that you mentioned earlier, Amara, right?
14:33Is this the problem with our society,
14:35that even from the outset,
14:36before you can even get married,
14:38you have to prove that you have the financial means to do so?
14:41Yeah, I feel like there is all those cultural and things
14:45that loom over the people's heads
14:46before they enter a relationship.
14:48But honestly, like I was just going back on his point,
14:51is that you have to be certain in who you are as a person
14:54before you enter.
14:56Because it's that thing of the man,
14:58you shouldn't let it affect you.
14:59That sense of, oh, masculinity.
15:01If your masculinity is strong,
15:03if you believe that I'm a man,
15:04regardless of whatever happens,
15:05then you are firm in that belief.
15:08With the payment of a bride price,
15:09it is a cultural ongoing that you have to go through.
15:13In some cultures, whether you're Igbo,
15:15Housa, Christian, you're all around the world,
15:17there are certain things you do to get into a marriage,
15:19and that's just honoring your culture.
15:21But under all of that,
15:23there is still that relationship where,
15:24am I less than him because I earn?
15:27Am I less than her because I earn more?
15:31Okay, let me flip that question to Aisha then.
15:33What does this mean for the women who are earning more?
15:36Do they then become insecure and feel,
15:38will I emasculate my husband, my partner,
15:41if I show him that I'm earning more?
15:43So I believe it's a societal conditioning
15:46where you feel like if you're not earning less than your husband,
15:51you have to shrink yourself to a certain level.
15:55So I would advise women to not do that to themselves.
15:58All right, so thank you, Aisha.
16:00I want to get some views from the people
16:02who are standing on this side.
16:04Emmanuel, you seem ready.
16:05Talk to me.
16:06Well, if you look at it from the social standpoint,
16:10a man is defined by wealth.
16:12But if you look at it from the home standpoint,
16:14it's defined by what you can do for the family,
16:16be it either mentally, physically, or spiritually.
16:19Man, masculinity is not defined by wealth.
16:23Some more views from this side.
16:25So if you earn,
16:26or if the woman earns more than the man,
16:29there's a way the man can adjust to the family
16:32and just, you know, like,
16:34okay, if the woman is walking from home,
16:37for example,
16:38and the baby is crying,
16:40and the father is at home,
16:41and, okay, let me help you taking care of the baby.
16:45It's time for cooking.
16:46Let me help you doing the cooking.
16:49But some men feel so insecure
16:51that they feel like
16:53when the woman starts pushing duties to them,
16:55it has become an issue.
16:57Let me hear from some men here.
16:59Is it insecurity that causes men
17:00to not be okay with women earning more?
17:02I go with it.
17:03I think it's insecurity.
17:05You know, some men actually earn more in our society,
17:08but then they still did not provide for their family.
17:13We have rich men that beat their wife,
17:16so that does not define anything.
17:18So let me switch it back to this other side,
17:20and I want to come to you, Uche,
17:21because something interesting has been mentioned here,
17:24which is the incredible amount of pressure
17:26that then falls on the man
17:28who has decided to bear this cross.
17:30You know, to define your masculinity
17:32on something that you have no control over.
17:34What does that do to your mental health?
17:36I'm so sorry, but I don't think Nigerians believe
17:38that men have mental health.
17:39What do you mean by that?
17:40I mean, however you're feeling, be a man.
17:44And that is the sad reality of how we live in Nigeria.
17:47Isn't that, to borrow the words here,
17:49of Aisha, toxic masculinity?
17:52That's what exists, yes.
17:52I mean, you can call it toxic masculinity,
17:55but it is what it is.
17:56If you are in your feelings, you do the work.
17:59If you're not in your feelings, you do the work.
18:01If you have to provide in your feelings or not,
18:02you have to provide.
18:05Wow.
18:06Well, for me, it's kind of different,
18:07in the sense that I was raised by women,
18:10my mom and my two sisters.
18:11I was raised in a household where I can cook.
18:13My mom would call you to come and sit in the kitchen.
18:15You would cook.
18:15You would wash plates.
18:16So all of those chores, like they say,
18:18it doesn't make me feel less of a man.
18:19If I see my girl in the kitchen,
18:21no matter how tired I am from work,
18:23I would go and join you in the kitchen
18:24because you should not be doing it alone.
18:26It's a lot of conditioning, do you get me?
18:28These people catered for me, cared for me,
18:31until I got to a point where I could do the same for them.
18:33So if I'm not able to do that as a person,
18:36it hurts me.
18:37Okay.
18:37So are there different expectations for you at home?
18:40Because as you mentioned earlier,
18:41you're the only boy in your family?
18:43Yes, there are obviously different expectations.
18:45They want you to...
18:45Financial expectations, I mean.
18:47Yes, sometimes.
18:48But like I said, they don't rely on that.
18:50It's not what makes me me.
18:52It's not what makes me their son.
18:53It's not what makes me their brother.
18:55When they need emotional support,
18:56they would also come to me.
18:57When they are having disputes in the house,
18:59they would also come to me.
19:00That's what makes me the man.
19:01So is it about control then, Evan?
19:03It's not about control.
19:04It's about creating a safe space.
19:05Like I said, they created a safe space for me
19:07to also be in my feelings.
19:09Do you get me?
19:09So I understand a balance of being a man and locking it up.
19:13And I also understand that I'm also human and I have emotions.
19:17Okay.
19:17All right.
19:18Let me hear from this corner.
19:20Actually, when we now talk about depression and effects on men,
19:24according to research, 2024 and this year,
19:27depression rate falls within 34% to 43%.
19:31And within this 34% to 43%,
19:35we have those that showed signs.
19:38And within those that showed signs,
19:39we have them to be 80% female and about 20% male.
19:43Then we have 80% single.
19:48I mean, 79% single and 21% married.
19:52That is, if you are married,
19:54you have lesser chances of being depressed.
19:55But when we now go to the sphere of severe depression
19:59and suicidal threats,
20:01whoppingly we have about 84% to be male,
20:0584% to be male and just 16% to be female.
20:09Now, the society kind of gives space for females
20:11to express depression.
20:14But men only lock it in
20:15and we get to show it only when it gets to the severe point.
20:20Okay.
20:21Okay.
20:21Let's just say,
20:22you said society doesn't provide that for men to express themselves.
20:25So it is left for you as a man to provide that for yourself.
20:28Like I said, I have my group of friends.
20:30If my friends, if I'm going through it,
20:31I'll call friends and I'm like,
20:32yo, bruh, shit, shit has hit the tank.
20:35I feel like I'm losing my mind.
20:36I want to kill myself or something.
20:38If he's in that type of mood, he will call me.
20:40So I can also call my sister.
20:42I can also call my mom.
20:43Okay.
20:44So before we spiral and have this conversation about mental health,
20:47which it is not,
20:48I do appreciate that there are impacts on the mental health of men,
20:52which incidentally, as we're recording this,
20:54this is the Mental Health Awareness Month for men.
20:57But the unintended consequences on women,
21:00when the man is feeling under pressure to provide
21:02and he cannot do so
21:03and the woman is out earning her or out earning him,
21:07can the woman suddenly become his target?
21:10Yes, she does.
21:12She becomes his target, his punching bag in some cases.
21:16Chisom.
21:17Now, that's where morals come in.
21:20So if a man, a woman is earning more than a man
21:23and he feels intimidated,
21:26that's where your moral come in.
21:28The man is morally weak.
21:30He should be famed.
21:31He should, like, grow up.
21:33You should, okay, she's earning more than me.
21:35She's earning more than me.
21:37She's earning more than me.
21:38What I should do here is support.
21:40Keep doing what I'm doing.
21:41I'm not intimidated by her.
21:43She's not my, my, I'm not here to fight her.
21:47We are together.
21:47We are one.
21:48Let me ask Uche this question.
21:50It was suggested that it's because men are insecure
21:52that they have a problem with women earning more,
21:54that you need to regulate your emotions and grow up.
21:57Sure, there are some insecure men,
21:58whether you like it or not,
21:59but I feel everything just falls back to society
22:02and upbringing and experiences.
22:04Let me take some closing views.
22:06Let me start with you, Amara.
22:07Yeah, I think that's the thing that we have to focus on,
22:09as he said.
22:10Is it society or is it home-based?
22:12And is it based on your personal experience
22:14or everything around the nation?
22:16All around the continent of Africa.
22:19We have to see that some of these more developed cities
22:21that have more of those nuanced concepts,
22:24like, oh, mental health and women can earn more
22:26and they will work together in one.
22:28We have to understand that culturally in Nigeria,
22:31throughout time where we are right now in Lagos,
22:33the people come into relationship because of money,
22:35because of provision, because of culturally,
22:38the man provides in the household
22:39and the women come together and care for the home.
22:42Because in Lagos, we are more developed.
22:43In other parts of Nigeria, they don't have that same benefits.
22:46Now, looking at in the home base,
22:48we have to understand that as long as you're not rooted
22:50in your own identity as a person
22:53and you don't come together for love,
22:55if someone earns more than you,
22:56you will feel less than if you know that you came
22:58to that relationship to provide.
23:00If you came to that relationship because you love,
23:03you would help each other up,
23:04pull each other up different income buckets
23:06and work together to make a good life for yourself.
23:08So, at the end of the day,
23:10you have to be rooted in your masculinity
23:12and as a female, you have to be rooted
23:14in your identity to work together as one.
23:16Okay.
23:16So, normally at this point of the debate,
23:18I'm asking for solutions,
23:20but as I don't know if there's a problem,
23:22there's just different ways of doing things.
23:24Let me get some closing views.
23:26I would just like to close on this note,
23:28that when you are either in a relationship
23:30or in a marriage, don't be a man.
23:32Be a boyfriend or be an husband.
23:35Don't be a man.
23:36You are a man against the world,
23:38not in your family.
23:40Okay.
23:40Let me hear from boyfriend, husband, man.
23:44I'm sorry.
23:44I want to digress a bit.
23:46But like, see the way you...
23:48But you give me your...
23:48Yeah, I'm giving my closer.
23:49See the way you subtly agreed that
23:52not having money as a man
23:54makes you feel less of yourself
23:56by saying, oh,
23:57if you do earn more than your husband,
24:00we're talking about emotions now,
24:01whether you earn less or you earn more...
24:04No.
24:05No, I'm not supporting you.
24:06I'm trying to tell you,
24:08but then, but then, but then, yeah,
24:10being insecure is as a person,
24:11like you said.
24:12It's a personal thing.
24:14The idea of the man is a personal thing.
24:17Like me, I said, now, okay,
24:18I don't feel insecure about my woman's money,
24:20but then if I'm in a situation
24:21where I can't provide for my loved ones,
24:23I am depressed.
24:24Okay.
24:24Let me find out what,
24:25because this is now a group activity,
24:27what your group members have to say.
24:30I really liked what he said about
24:31when you come to your home,
24:32you're a husband and you are a boyfriend
24:34or whatever you are,
24:35but the idea of the man in society today
24:38still sadly is rooted in the fact of provision,
24:41still rooted in the fact of care,
24:43and you have,
24:44and the way that does that in a big,
24:45big way is through financial means.
24:47So if you don't have that means
24:49or someone else has it more than you,
24:51then you're not allowed to show that
24:52or show it in a dominant sphere.
24:54But when you come to the home,
24:55be the husband,
24:56be the boyfriend.
24:56So I support that,
24:57but still the idea of the man,
24:59which we should redefine,
25:00by the way,
25:01is financial provision.
25:03Uche.
25:03Once you are in a relationship,
25:05you guys should be partners
25:06and not individuals.
25:09You shouldn't stand as individuals,
25:10you should come together as partners.
25:12So in some sense,
25:14obviously if it's any more than you,
25:15you should definitely step up
25:16in the house and all of that.
25:18But as a man,
25:19I still feel that you need to understand,
25:21like yourself,
25:22you need to understand your partner as well.
25:24You need to be able to step in
25:25to protect,
25:26to provide,
25:28to assist in the home and all of that.
25:30So I feel just coming together
25:32as a partnership would help a lot.
25:33So at the beginning of this debate,
25:35we asked what happens
25:36if Mrs. Ogre earns more than the Ogre.
25:39Well, the thoughts were very diverse,
25:42but at the bottom of it,
25:43it has become very clear
25:45that provision and protection
25:47are two fundamental things
25:48that are expected from men.
25:50How exactly they go about it?
25:52Well, you better ask
25:52these two groups behind me.
25:54I'm Edith Kimani.
25:55This was so much fun.
25:57Bye-bye.
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