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00:00He's the military hero of the nation, though he doesn't always follow regulations.
00:28At the sound of revelry, he is here for you to see, and we know you'll laugh with Private Beetle Bailey, Beetle Bailey.
00:37Ask the General, Colonel, Major, and the Captain, the Lieutenant, and the Sergeant, and the Corporal.
00:43They will tell you with a shout, they would gladly live without a certain private by the name of Beetle Bailey, Beetle Bailey.
00:51Beetle Bailey!
00:53Nice ducky-wucky, eat'em caviar sandwiches?
00:58Wah, wah, wah.
01:02Private Zero, sir, intelligence.
01:05Senator Trombone is coming to make a surprise inspection tour of the camp and report to Congress.
01:13He says he's due any minute.
01:15Well, he won't catch us with our tanks down.
01:17I want this camp cleaned up and ship-shape immediately.
01:24Is that clear?
01:25Aye, aye, sir.
01:27I mean, yes, sir.
01:32You know, Bailey,
01:33this is just about the best spaghetti I ever made.
01:37Hey, cut that out, Cookie.
01:41You're chewing up the mop.
01:44Please, just one more bite.
01:46I want to remember that sauce.
01:50What's going on here?
01:55Peek-a-boo.
01:57Old General, sir.
01:59Peek-a-boo to you, you boob.
02:02Oh, how nice, General.
02:06You brung us a present.
02:10Oh, don't you dare harm my ducky-wucky.
02:14I'll have you caught, Marshal.
02:16Now I want you to prepare something extra special for Senator Trombone.
02:23What do you have?
02:24Well, we got fried hash.
02:26Negative, bashed hash.
02:28Negative. Creamed-chipped hash. Blech.
02:33No, you idiot. Something special. I wish I knew the senator's favorite dish.
02:39Sir, Private Zero Intelligence.
02:42He likes roast duck with duck dumplings and duck and gravy and duck soup.
02:49For dessert, duck-flavored ice cream with duck sauce.
02:54Blech. Good work, lad. Remind me to decorate you for that.
02:58Now all we have to do is find a duck.
03:05There must be a duck in the deep freeze.
03:08No, sir. Just a duck egg.
03:11Very good. Perfect.
03:14Bailey, I want you to sit on that egg and hatch it.
03:18You got 15 minutes. That's a direct order, Bailey.
03:22But, sir, I can't do that.
03:25You don't ever say can't, Bailey. This is the United States Army.
03:31But, sir, it won't work, General.
03:35Why not? That's nature's way, isn't it? I know about nature's way.
03:39Well, it's a hot-boiled egg, General.
03:42I'd order a duck flown in, sir, but it'll never get here in time.
03:46You mean...
03:46Yes, sir.
03:48I got but one duck to give for my country.
03:52Ah-ha.
03:53Stop! All everything.
03:55Look, General.
03:58Oh, boy.
03:59What?
04:00Little gunnery practice, General?
04:02Good boy. Get out there and give them heck.
04:05The senator's copter will be here any minute.
04:08It's... It's anti-aircraft fire, son of a...
04:23That's just fine.
04:25Like the shade that I'll boil you at the ready.
04:33Yippee! I got one.
04:34Bailey, you idiot.
04:40You have shot down the senator.
04:46Yippee-da-doo-dee-da.
04:50Hello there.
04:52You're welcome, Senator Trombonee.
04:55Glad to meet you, General.
04:56Yeah.
04:57Ah, you got a real firm handshake, my boy.
05:00I like that, General.
05:01Now, who shot down that heliocopter?
05:05No, no. He did it. He did it.
05:07I didn't did it. He did it.
05:09Well, give that boy a medal.
05:11Great shooting, son.
05:13I declare those heliocopters land to slow for me anyways.
05:17Now, let's get on with my inspection tour, General.
05:20First, let's see if your whack platoon is in shape.
05:23And hold on a minute, General.
05:25I forgot something.
05:27Here, boy.
05:28Cook this up for me in a hurry.
05:29It's my frozen duck dinner.
05:31Never travel without it.
05:33A whoop-a-doo-dee-didee-doo-dee.
05:35Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:01THE END
06:31They would gladly live without a certain private by the name of Beetle Bailey
06:36Beetle Bailey
06:37With these drops in my eyes, it takes quite a while before I can see clearly
06:45Message for you, sir
06:47Now another workload
06:49Getting so a general can't tend to his regular duties
06:55With these drops in my eyes, I can hardly see anything
06:59Snorkel, what does it say?
07:02Arriving today for inspection of Camp Swampy
07:06We'll be accompanied by Matilda, General Billy Billybar
07:11Why, that's the famous Australian general, my old friend
07:16Sergeant, I want you and Bailey to double time out to the airport and meet my guests
07:21I want you to give them the work
07:23Limousine, flowers, everything
07:25Remember, they're VIPs
07:27VIPs? I thought they was Australian
07:31Oh, on the double, Sergeant
07:33Yes, sir
07:36Welcome to the United States, General Billybar
07:49This is for the little lady
07:51Mighty decent of you, old chap
07:53Oh, Matilda, look what that nice bloke brought you
07:56Blimey, the old girl seems to have taken a lycra to you, Yates
08:06I think we'd better get back to the base, sir
08:09Lead on, me duff
08:11Sir, don't you think that we ought to call the young lady back?
08:16Oh, don't worry about her, old boy
08:18She'll follow us
08:19Come along, Matty, old girl
08:21Where is that Sergeant Snorkel?
08:27He should have been back here by...
08:29Half-track, old boy
08:31How are you?
08:32You be Billy Billybar
08:34After all these years, you haven't changed a bit
08:38But where's the lady?
08:40Oh, here she is, old boy
08:41This is Matilda
08:42Why, she's...
08:44She's...
08:45She's certainly...
08:47Unusual looking
08:49Um, thank you, madam
08:53Well, now
08:55Snorkel, prepare the troops for inspection
08:59Private Bailey, would you show Mrs. General Billybong's lady around the camp for a while?
09:07Yes, sir
09:08I'd be glad to
09:10If you will please just follow me, man
09:15Here you are, chum
09:16This ought to help you keep the little lady in a place
09:18Thank you, sir
09:20Uh, come on, little lady
09:23Strange, strange-looking woman
09:27All right, you guys
09:31Now the general and his guests will be here any minute
09:34Now let's keep this place looking neat
09:37Or else
09:38Understand?
09:41Uh, who's that?
09:43It's me, fellas
09:45Beetle
09:45What are you knocking for?
09:47Come on in
09:48I got a young lady with me
09:50Young lady?
09:51Young lady?
09:51Young lady?
09:56Don't be afraid
09:57Darling
09:58Come in
10:00It's only a man's barracks
10:02Uh, fellas
10:03I'd like for you to meet Matilda
10:05Matilda?
10:06Matilda?
10:08And now
10:08And now
10:09Wait a minute, fellas
10:10Now, fellas
10:11General sir, this is me prize squad
10:21They are all real soldiers
10:24Uh, it looks like your boys have been on maneuvers
10:28Who is responsible for this?
10:30Uh, Matilda sort of jumped all over the place, sir
10:34How dare you talk about General Billy Bung's wife
10:37Bailey, I demand you apologize to the lady immediately
10:41My dear General, Matilda's not me wife
10:44She's me pet kangaroo
10:46Oh dear
10:47A pet kangaroo?
10:49And it looks to me like these boys have gone to a lot of trouble to make me lady feel at home
10:54Yeah, yes, yeah
10:56Good job, man
10:57Jolly good
10:58Well, me and Matty will have to be going now
11:00Would you all kindly do me the honour of seeing us off?
11:03Uh, our pleasure, General Kangaroo
11:06Yeah, General Bally Bing
11:08Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Billy
11:10General Billy Bung
11:13So long, yikes
11:15Be seeing you
11:16Now, all aboard
11:18No viele
11:19One
11:20That stands for
11:20And looking at you
11:22habla
11:23And listening
11:25What you said
11:26Isn't it
11:28No
11:28I don't know
11:29I don't know
11:29No
11:30The
11:30I can't
11:31Hang
11:32Maybe
11:33If you
11:33L良
11:34Mer
11:44He's the military hero of the nation
12:01Though he doesn't always follow regulations
12:04At the sound of Reveille
12:06He is here for you to see
12:08And we know you'll laugh with Private Petal Bailey
12:11Petal Bailey
12:12Ask the General, Colonel, Major and the Captain
12:16The Lieutenant and the Sergeant and the Corporal
12:19They will tell you with a shout
12:21They will gladly live without a certain private
12:24By the name of Petal Bailey
12:25Petal Bailey
12:27Yes, Sergeant Snorkel, today is Visitor's Day
12:33And I want every precaution taken
12:35Yes, sir
12:36General Stonewall at the Pentagon
12:38Swore he'd break me to a PFC
12:41If anything went wrong this year
12:43Everything's under control, General
12:45I've even got Otto on the leech
12:48Hi, Beetle
12:53We're over here
12:54Wait?
12:56Gee, Bunny
12:57I didn't know you were bringing me a pup
12:59That's all right, son
13:01I won't be any trouble
13:02Just act as though I wasn't here
13:04You kids go ahead and have a real good time
13:08Thanks loads
13:10Come on, Bunny
13:12Something I want to show you
13:14Wait, let me show you something first
13:17You'll notice I'm wearing my old uniform
13:20From the First World War
13:22The Big War
13:24See this medal?
13:26Yeah, I don't recognize it, though
13:28What theater of operations is that?
13:30The Old Palace Theater in New York
13:32For selling liberty bonds in their unheated lobby
13:35You know, I'm sorry I asked
13:37Oh, what's that cute-looking thing, Beetle?
13:42That's a new bazooka
13:43Yep
13:44I knew it the minute I saw it
13:47It's some kind of telescope
13:48I keep up with all the latest doodads, my boy
13:52No, no, be careful
13:54Don't fire it
13:56When you're standing behind it
13:59Ha, newfangled gadgets
14:01Can't ever tell which side is up
14:04Did you hear firing just then, Sergeant?
14:08Harmless, sir
14:09We're only using dummy ammunition for visitors' day
14:13Well, I only wish we were using dummy visitors, too
14:17Hey, look!
14:19An old French 75
14:21And some shells, too
14:23Now that's what I call a gun
14:25Oh, I wondered what you called it
14:28I'll bet I can still do the firing drill, too
14:32One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten
14:40This is rich
14:43Gotta be careful not to get caught standing behind the old weapons, too
14:51Oh, dear, they're starting again
14:54Absolutely harmless, sir
14:57Sergeant!
15:03Dummy ammunition, eh?
15:05Yes, sir
15:06Dummy ammunition
15:07I know
15:08Because I'm the dummy that issued it
15:11Eight
15:12Nine
15:13Ten
15:13Gosh, those are live rounds
15:17The general's sure gonna blow up when he hears about this
15:19Oh, dear
15:22He always gets nutty like this when he puts on that uniform
15:25What do we do, general?
15:37Someone's running amok, sergeant, and we've got to stop him
15:41This ought to do it
15:43But, but, but, general, grenade, sir
15:46Sergeant, this is war
15:48I mean, besides, there were only tear gas
15:50Eight
15:51Nine
15:51Ten
15:52No, sergeant!
15:59Ah-ha!
16:00A gas attack
16:02For the inhumane devils
16:04Oh, now I've got him
16:16Pardon me, general pointing, sir
16:18Fix bayonets
16:20Over the top
16:21Daddy, wait
16:23Mademoiselle from Armatiss Polly Bull
16:26Unconditional surrender
16:34Nothing less
16:35A truce
16:36A truce
16:37Flag of truce
16:39Hi-hi
16:41What?
16:43All those visitors were watching us all the time
16:46Oh, the shame of a door
16:48All right, gummy and beetle
16:50Come on out
16:51I've won the war
16:52This is General Stonewall at the Pentagon
16:57Half-track?
16:58I don't believe it
16:59But I'm sending you accommodation
17:01For the most outstanding visitors day
17:03At any army post this year
17:05Thank you
17:07How?
17:08Oh, very easy, really
17:10Of course
17:11We did have the help
17:12Of a certain
17:13Mademoiselle from Armatiss Polly
17:15Hey, Pop?
17:17Thanky-dinky-polly-vo
17:19He's a military hero
17:49Of the nation
17:50Though he doesn't always follow regulations
17:53At the sound of revelry
17:55He is here for you to see
17:57And we know you'll laugh
17:58With Private Beetle Bailey
17:59Beetle Bailey
18:01As the General, Colonel, Major
18:03And the Captain
18:04The Lieutenant
18:06And the Sergeant
18:07And the Corporal
18:07They will tell you with a shout
18:10They would gladly live without a certain
18:12Private by the name of Beetle Bailey
18:14Beetle Bailey
18:16Cigarettes
18:24Leachy nuts
18:25Firecrackers
18:26Cigarettes
18:29Leachy nuts
18:30Firecrackers
18:31Oh, boy!
18:33Now we get our fortune cookies
18:35One fortune cookie?
18:40Sorry
18:41Last fortune cookie in-house
18:44Uh, Jay
18:46I wanted to get my fortune told
18:48Me too
18:50Yeah
18:51One gun is a Chinese dinner
18:53Without a fortune
18:54I got it
18:57Beetle can read it for all of us
18:59Is that legal?
19:02Sure
19:02Go ahead
19:03Beware of beetles
19:16They will bring you bad luck
19:19Uh, beware of beetles
19:22They will bring you bad luck
19:25Hey, come on, fellas
19:26This don't mean me
19:28A beetle is a tiny insect
19:30Uh, you're a beetle
19:32I'm beetle
19:33Not a beetle
19:35Hey, watch out
19:39Sorry, fellas
19:40I'm sorry, fellas
20:03Uh, he's a beetle
20:05A beetle
20:06A beetle, yikes
20:08But fellas
20:12Beware of the beetle
20:14I'm not a beetle
20:17I'm a beetle
20:18Hey, Cosmo
20:29Yikes, the beetle
20:31Cosmo, wait for me
20:36Cosmo, I'm not a jinx
20:42That's silly
20:43Where are you?
20:45Out of the way, Mark
20:46This tree's gonna come down
20:47Okay
20:48Hey, Cosmo
20:51Come on
20:51Where are ya?
20:54What's wrong, beetle?
20:56Everybody thinks I'm a jinx
20:58Not a jinx
21:00You're a joke
21:01Timber
21:04See, Cosmo
21:10Sarge
21:11Doesn't think I'm a jinx
21:12The big
21:19Sorry, Rocky
21:21I just came for my toot paste
21:24I just came for my toot paste
21:29I'm a jinx
21:31Where are you?
21:32You have toot
21:32And I just came for my toot
21:33By the way
21:33I'm a jinx
21:34I just came for my toot
21:35A jinx
21:35I just came for my toot
21:36I just came for my toot
21:37Beatle!
21:39Beatle!
21:45Yikes!
21:51Seado, nothing to it.
21:53Hello, Sarge.
21:55Hello, Beatle.
21:57Beatle!
21:59No!
22:05Aw, I gotta do something about this.
22:20Beatle Bailey is good luck.
22:23Hey, fellas, the jinx is over.
22:29That's for giving them that special fortune cookie.
22:35Okay.
22:36Now they think you over time, good luck.
22:42Hey, fellas, it's me, the good luck charm.
22:53Insta, weeple!
22:59This is the end.
23:01Friends?
23:02Yeah!
23:03Here we go!
23:07The End
23:12You
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