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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives, Renee was charmed by the new neighbor, trying to protect Gabby, Carlos committed murder, and the women swore to keep the secret, but then Bree received a warning.
00:30When I was alive, Bree Vandekamp was one of my closest friends. Maybe that's because we had so much in common. Like Bree, I also received a menacing letter, one that threatened to shatter the perfect life I had worked so hard to create.
00:52You see, I had once committed a desperate act of my own, and despite my best efforts to conceal it, someone found out and was determined to expose me.
01:08I thought about telling my friends, but I decided not to burden them.
01:18I had hoped that with one final act, I could consign my deeds to history, but I had forgotten that history has a way of repeating itself.
01:31Something interesting?
01:39No. No, just a letter from a friend who I haven't heard from in a while.
01:47You okay?
01:48I'm fine. I'm just annoyed because the postman left me Gabby's water bill again. You go in. I'll just put it back in the box.
01:59All right.
02:17Oh, Karen. You scared me. What are you doing out so late?
02:22What am I, a cat? I'm allowed to be out past ten.
02:24I'm sorry. Have you seen anyone near my mailbox?
02:29What's the problem?
02:31I just got a letter. An obscene letter.
02:36That's all? You gotta be happy that someone still finds you obscene.
02:40Last week, I got called sir three times.
02:44Karen, this is serious. I need to find out who put this letter in my mailbox.
02:48Why, you're really shaken up.
02:51Yes, I am.
02:52This is very upsetting and I don't know what I'm going to do.
02:56It's just a note, Brie. Let it go.
03:03Yes, Brie, Vandekamp, and I had so much in common.
03:07In the divided world of the suburbs, everyone is looking for a way to connect.
03:36They fend off loneliness with casual conversation.
03:43They share old treasures with a young friend.
03:46They help a neighbor make a difficult move.
03:51But for Carlos and Gabby Solis, the only connection that mattered was the romantic one.
04:02And when it came to maintaining it, Gabby was willing to pull out all the stops.
04:08What are we celebrating?
04:12A new record. It's been 38 days since we last had sex and that streak is ending tonight.
04:18Seriously, it's been that long?
04:19Thirty. Eight. Days.
04:21That's like three years in hoo-ha time.
04:24Sweetie, I would love to, but I have way too much work to do.
04:27Uh-uh. No, no. No excuses.
04:29I changed the sheets, shaved my legs, and dumped the kids at McCluskey's.
04:34So drop your pants, cowboy, and saddle up.
04:38Yes, ma'am.
04:40Don't feel bad. It happens to lots of men.
04:51Not to me. Not to us.
04:57Well, it has been 38 days. Maybe the poor little guy forgot what to do.
05:01Not helping.
05:03Listen, you've been under a lot of stress lately, so relax.
05:09How about I give you a nice massage, we finish the champagne, and later we try again.
05:13Gabby, thanks, but it's not going to work, okay?
05:15Okay.
05:21Like Carlos, Susan Delfino was also feeling disconnected.
05:30Her guilt made the world a strange and scary place.
05:37Where she could be exposed at any moment.
05:41Hey! Hold it right there!
05:45I know what you did.
05:47What?
05:48Yeah, and you're not getting away with it.
05:50You thought you could walk out with a case of soda and no one would notice?
05:55Oh.
05:57Uh, I forgot those were down there.
06:00Yeah, right. I've never heard that one before.
06:03Ma'am, I'm going to ask you to step away from the cart and keep your hands where I can see them.
06:06Everything okay here?
06:07If you consider larceny, okay.
06:10Mrs. Delfino, on behalf of Fairview Market, I'd like to apologize for Kevin.
06:15Seems we're all paying the price for his rejection from the police academy.
06:18Oh, well, excuse me for not wanting to live in a world where people can commit crimes without suffering the consequences.
06:25You are a criminal.
06:28I've known Mrs. Delfino for years.
06:31She pays for the grapes she eats in the produce section.
06:34She would never do anything bad.
06:36Sure, I would.
06:39What?
06:40You don't know me at all.
06:43I'm a very bad person. I did a horrible thing.
06:46I deserve to be punished.
06:48Let me cuff her. I have cuffs.
06:50I brought them from home.
06:51No one's getting cuffed. Just pay for the soda next time you come in.
06:54No, no, no. No, you need to march me inside and make me pay now.
06:59Mrs. Delfino.
07:00I'm serious.
07:02Make an example of me to deter other criminals.
07:09Fine. Take her in.
07:11Copy that.
07:11Yep. Did the crime.
07:16Doing the time.
07:17Dead man walking.
07:24So, what's the damage? An arm and a leg? Just an arm?
07:27Not even a finger.
07:29It's a crack fitting.
07:30I swapped it out. It's no charge.
07:31Really?
07:32The first guy I called said I had to re-pipe the whole house.
07:35Oh, that's a scam.
07:36These pipes are top-of-the-line copper.
07:38The guy that put them in did a great job.
07:39How do you know?
07:41It was me.
07:43You just saved me ten grand.
07:46No wonder people say such good things about you.
07:49Well, I'm what our neighbours for.
07:52Anything else, just holler.
07:55Actually, there is one thing.
07:58I'm a real estate developer.
08:00About to break ground on a new project.
08:02And I'm looking for some help.
08:04Local guys that I can trust.
08:06You interested?
08:09Hey, Mike.
08:19Got a minute?
08:20Oh, um, hey, Renee.
08:22We're friends, right?
08:24Well?
08:25Oh, come on.
08:26You fixed my toilet for free.
08:27Um, that wasn't free.
08:29I sent you a bill.
08:30You just haven't paid it.
08:31Anyway, look.
08:38Here's the deal.
08:39Uh, Ben likes me.
08:41He just doesn't know it yet.
08:43Now, I need to find that thing that we connect on.
08:47You've been on the inside.
08:48What can you tell me about it?
08:50Well, he's got copper pipes.
08:53Something personal?
08:55I saw a box of Cheerios.
08:57And a coffee maker.
08:58He must like coffee.
08:59Unless it's for guests.
09:01Oh, my God.
09:01I got more out of the cable guy.
09:03And he's deaf.
09:04Does he have any photos?
09:06Artwork?
09:07Think, Delfino.
09:07Think!
09:08Okay.
09:08Okay.
09:09Um, there was this plaque from the mayor.
09:13Something about his work with the elderly.
09:15Really?
09:15Really?
09:16He likes the elderly?
09:19Oh, I like the elderly.
09:21So to win.
09:23Oh, old people are adorable.
09:25I love the little raisin faces and those tennis balls they put on their walkers.
09:30Thanks for the tip.
09:33Friend.
09:40Mom!
09:40Hey, how was your day?
09:42Awesome.
09:43Dad's hotel is so cool.
09:44We went swimming in the pool and played Marco Polo and Cannonballed off the diving board.
09:48Why don't we have a pool?
09:49And then we got hamburgers and french fries and super-sized charcoal slushies.
09:52Oh!
09:54Sugar and caffeine.
09:55I guess you figured they were too young for meth.
09:58It's just a slushie.
09:59On a school night, she's going to be up until 2 a.m. just because you couldn't say no.
10:03Your polo is out of proportion.
10:04Who wants to play Mega Monopoly?
10:06It's just like regular Monopoly, but with more stuff.
10:08You just keep playing and playing and playing and playing and playing.
10:12Yeah.
10:12Way out of proportion.
10:14Look, now that we're really separated, I refuse to be the bad guy all the time.
10:19You have got to learn to say no.
10:21I say it?
10:22Tonight when we walked past the pet shop, they wanted a spider monkey.
10:25I said no.
10:26I'm serious.
10:28Things are different now.
10:29I'm not going to let this be the house of pain while you're living it up at the MTV beach house.
10:33You're right.
10:36Things are different now.
10:37For instance, I used to have to stand here and listen to this.
10:41But now I'm thinking, no.
10:47Hey, look at that.
10:48I'm getting pretty good at this no thing.
10:59It's bad enough when we weren't even trying to have sex, but to try and fail?
11:03Do you think it might have something to do with the stress Carlos is under?
11:06We are all under stress.
11:08You know what's stressful is not having sex for 39 and a half days.
11:11You're sounding a little callous.
11:13I don't mean to.
11:15It's just sex is important to us.
11:16Even in our toughest times, it's what always held us together.
11:20If we don't have that, I'm worried what will happen to us.
11:22I get that.
11:24So, come on, girls.
11:26How can I spice things up in the bedroom?
11:30Is this actually happening?
11:32Gabrielle Solis is asking us for sex tips?
11:34I know.
11:35It's the apocalypse.
11:37Well, if you don't mind harsh lighting and blatant misogyny, you can always watch a porno.
11:41Watched one.
11:42Filmed one.
11:43Next.
11:43This may shock you, but sometimes Mike and I like doing it in public.
11:50Huh.
11:50Those of us who wandered by Santa's workshop at the Christmas carnival, not that shocked.
11:55You could try role-playing.
11:57Once, I dressed up in a French maid's costume and Orson pretended to be a stubborn stain.
12:02And why is everybody looking at me?
12:05Seriously, guys, I need some new moves.
12:07Well, there's this one mom at school, and I promised I wouldn't use her name, Betty Cunningham,
12:12who hired a stripper to teach her how to give her husband a lap dance.
12:16Well, I don't know what a stripper could teach me, but it's worth a shot.
12:19You really think that's going to work?
12:21Why wouldn't it?
12:24Because I get where Carlos is coming from.
12:28This kind of guilt can really mess with your head.
12:33Something you want to talk about?
12:34Okay, the other day, I accidentally took a case of soda from the supermarket, and the security guard started yelling at me.
12:43And at first I was like, no, but then I was like, yes, I deserve it.
12:47I deserve to be punished.
12:49It felt right to be publicly humiliated like that.
12:52And why is everybody looking at me?
12:54Because there's a bucket of crazy where your head used to be.
12:56So now I'm crazy.
12:59I thought you said I could talk to you about this stuff.
13:04You can, and we appreciate what you're grappling with, but you cannot go around attracting attention like that.
13:10But it's not safe.
13:12Exactly.
13:14So knock it off and go get me some more coffee!
13:19What?
13:19She likes to be yelled at.
13:20Hey, you.
13:26I thought you were at work.
13:29I pronounced the city of Fairview safe enough to have lunch with my girl.
13:34Oh, that would be lovely, but I have something I need to do.
13:38Shoot.
13:40Oh, yeah?
13:41Like what?
13:43What?
13:45Unless it's a big secret.
13:50Is it a big secret?
13:53Chuck!
13:55I'm sorry.
13:57You're right.
13:57I...
13:58You don't owe me any explanations.
14:03I just...
14:04I just need to know that we're okay.
14:07Chuck.
14:08My feelings for you have not changed.
14:11Just my schedule for the day.
14:14Well, that's good.
14:15Because suspicion can be a great trade in police work,
14:18but it's horrible in a relationship.
14:20I just asked my ex.
14:22I never want to be that guy again.
14:24Hello there, Karen.
14:48Karen?
14:49What happened to Liver Spot or Six Feet Under or one of your other cute nicknames?
14:54No, no, I can't come in.
14:56I'm just dropping off another home-cooked meal.
14:59What meal?
15:01What the hell are you yelling for?
15:02Just lift the napkin.
15:05Fifty bucks.
15:07What's the catch?
15:08Don't look now, but do you see Ben over there?
15:10Subtle.
15:16Anyway, he has a soft spot for old people, and as far as he knows, so do I.
15:22No, no, your crinkled little smile is thanks enough for me.
15:27Are you petting me?
15:30Just say nice things about me to Ben.
15:33Tell him I bring him meals, that kind of stuff.
15:35Well, it's a pretty big favor for 50 bucks.
15:38Considering I don't like you, I'll do it for 100.
15:42Fine.
15:42Tomorrow I'll bring you a C-note in a Jell-O-Mole deal.
15:46Oh, Renee, bless your heart.
15:47You're so good to me.
15:49No, you're the one who enriches my life.
15:51The joy I get.
15:54Hands off, he's gone.
16:00Oh, my God.
16:02You think I sent this?
16:05Do you have any idea how this makes me feel?
16:07Forgive me.
16:08I didn't think it was possible to damage the self-esteem of a murderer.
16:11A confessed murderer.
16:13And this?
16:14This is the only way you can see me?
16:16Oh!
16:18Oh!
16:21Please!
16:28I'm sorry.
16:29I've just been so panicked since I got it.
16:31It has the exact same wording as the letter Mary Alice received.
16:35Yes.
16:37That's very weird.
16:42But why are you so worked up about it?
16:44I believe Mary Alice got a little worked up when she got hers.
16:47But she was hiding something.
16:49You weren't.
16:51Right?
16:55Of course not.
16:57It's obviously just a cruel prank, but I still want to know who's responsible.
17:02It had to be someone who knew about the original note.
17:06Well, let's see.
17:07Obviously, there's Martha Huber.
17:10Obviously, she didn't send it.
17:12And there's you, Susan, Lynette, Gabby.
17:14I assume you've already asked them.
17:19Actually, I haven't mentioned it to the girls yet.
17:23I still haven't figured out exactly what it is.
17:26Whatever it is, don't keep it to yourself.
17:29If Mary Alice had shared her note with you girls, things might have turned out a whole different way.
17:39You know, it's recycling day.
17:52So?
17:53So it looks like you're about to put kitchen garbage in your recycling bin.
17:56Oh, hope I don't get punished.
18:06Oh, here I am, dropping a turkey carcass in with the recycling.
18:10And here I am, not giving a crap.
18:19Uh-oh.
18:20You got me.
18:22Can I bum one?
18:24My old lady made me quit.
18:2917?
18:3218?
18:3419?
18:35Thank God.
18:37Those were from last week.
18:40Hello.
18:48Uh, Ben, isn't it?
18:51Yes.
18:52Uh, listen, uh, I was just talking to Mrs. McCluskey, and I've got to say, I really misjudged you.
19:00Oh?
19:01Yeah.
19:02She was telling me all the ways you've helped her.
19:04Well, I like to think I'm doing God's work.
19:07You know, until he takes her in her sleep, or what have you.
19:10Now, I don't know if you knew this, but I'm quite involved with seniors myself.
19:16Well, get out!
19:18Look at us, having things in common.
19:20Yeah.
19:20So, is there something else I can help you with?
19:27Actually, yes.
19:29Are you free tonight?
19:34Hey, buddy.
19:36What are you thinking for dinner tonight?
19:37Mexican?
19:38Chinese?
19:38Actually, there's a party at Rich Cohen's I was hoping to go to.
19:41Yeah?
19:42Don't hope too hard.
19:43Why not?
19:45Remember when Rich turned 13?
19:47It was the only bar mitzvah ever shut down by the police.
19:50I don't trust his parents.
19:51Well, if it makes you feel better, they're out of town.
19:53Oh.
19:54An unsupervised party?
19:56Even better.
19:56We're just going to be eating pizza and watching movies and stuff, and Rich's older brother
20:00will be there.
20:01Perfect.
20:02Someone to buy the beer.
20:05So, you're saying no?
20:06Again?
20:08Uh.
20:13I'm not saying no.
20:15I'm saying ask your dad.
20:17Hey, I'm just dropping off a check.
20:19Hang on a sec.
20:20Parker has something he wants to ask you.
20:23Parker.
20:24Can I go to a party at Rich Cohen's house tonight?
20:27What did your mom say?
20:29His mom said he should ask his dad.
20:33Oh, well, his parents are going to be there, right?
20:36Nope.
20:37No parents.
20:41And Rich Cohen, didn't something happen at his bar mitzvah?
20:44Lots of things happened.
20:46Drinking, pot smoking, the Whitaker girl got pregnant.
20:49It sounds like you already made up your mind here.
20:51No, no, no.
20:53I have not made up my mind.
20:55It is entirely up to you.
20:56You hear that, Dad?
20:58Entirely up to you.
21:02Well, it seems like your mom doesn't think this is a good idea.
21:06I didn't say that.
21:06I don't not think it's a good idea.
21:08Oh, so you do, do think it's a good idea?
21:11I don't not think it's not, not a good idea.
21:15Okay, I'm confused.
21:16Well, if your mom's not saying no, I'm not saying no either.
21:18Oh, well, if your dad's not saying no, I'm sure as hell not going to say no.
21:21So is that a yes?
21:23Well, it's not a no.
21:26Sweet.
21:34Are you sure this thing is safe?
21:36My son plays fireman on mine all the time.
21:38Do you want to see a picture?
21:40Let's not make this sadder than it is.
21:42All right, so my husband's having a little problem in the bedroom.
21:45With his wiener?
21:47Yes, with his wiener.
21:49Well, you can relax because I'm like a doctor and I see this problem all the time with older women.
21:55Older?
21:56Excuse me, I don't think our ages are that far apart.
21:58When were you born?
21:591992.
22:01Me too.
22:01All right, enough chit-chat.
22:03Give me a taste of what I'm going to learn here.
22:13Okay, I'd do you.
22:15Let me try.
22:16That was kind of advanced.
22:17I was thinking maybe we could start with something simple, like grinding on a chair.
22:22Will you stop treating me like a grandma?
22:24I do yoga and Zumba and kickboxing.
22:27I'm in excellent shape.
22:33Not bad.
22:35Okay, now ass up, legs out, and remember, slow is sexy.
22:43Okay.
22:46A little harder than it looks.
22:48No worries.
22:49You'll pick it up in no time.
22:50Six months tops.
22:51What?
22:52I can't wait that long.
22:53Look, I need your moves, your body, my ass, but basically I need to be you by tonight.
23:01Hey, what are you doing tonight?
23:03I'm headlining at Double D's.
23:05If I triple your pay, would you mind being the opening act here?
23:08Ben, I don't know how the food is, but I already love this restaurant.
23:16We are the youngest people here.
23:18Oh, this isn't a restaurant.
23:24This is the senior center.
23:26Welcome to the Ben Faulkner function room.
23:28We're not eating here, are we?
23:31No, no, we're serving.
23:34We can eat afterwards if there are, you know, leftovers.
23:37Oh, fun.
23:40Uh, but I'm, I'm a little underdressed.
23:45There you go.
23:47Yeah, now you're perfect.
23:52Gabby, FYI, guys who used to be blind don't enjoy reliving it.
23:56Relax, you're going to love this.
23:58Now just sit back and get ready for takeoff.
24:09Hmm.
24:12Yeah.
24:14Wow, you've been working out.
24:17I have, but that's not my ass.
24:20It's a professional.
24:23Meet Dakota.
24:24What the hell?
24:26What is this?
24:27A gift from your wife.
24:29I work at Double D's.
24:30Out by the interstate.
24:32Not the one by the airport that had the hepatitis scare.
24:36You hired a stripper.
24:37Only as a warm-up act.
24:39Then later on she'll clear out,
24:41and it's just you and me for the main event.
24:44Nope, not doing this.
24:46Hang on, idea.
24:47Sit down.
24:50Oh, okay, what are you doing?
24:52I thought he's right.
24:55Your body, it's like a dolphin.
24:57Give it a little spank.
24:58Nothing will fix his problem quicker than a little girl-on-girl action.
25:02My problem?
25:03Yeah.
25:04You told her.
25:06Okay, quick, make out with me.
25:07Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?
25:12Doctor, you can go now.
25:18How could you do that to me?
25:19Try to get our sex life back on track?
25:22Carlos, even at our worst, this is the one thing that's always worked for us.
25:25I just want us to get back to normal.
25:27We're never going back to normal!
25:29Don't you understand that?
25:31What I did, you can't wish it away.
25:38It is with me all the time.
25:41Whether I'm awake, or asleep.
25:49Or trying to make love to you.
25:50I'm sorry.
25:53I just wish there was something I could do.
25:58There's not.
25:59What's that?
26:12I don't know.
26:14Is it good?
26:16Let me clue you in on something.
26:18Food is usually either good or free.
26:23How come you're dressed so fancy?
26:25Because I'm on a date with that hot Aussie over there.
26:28He just failed to mention what the date was.
26:33Ben brought you to sling food dressed like that?
26:37Honey, I think he's messing with you.
26:50I hope you had a good laugh.
26:52Be thankful I shoved that on your head.
26:54There was another option.
26:58Renee, stop.
27:03Why?
27:04So you can mock me some more?
27:05I wasn't mocking you.
27:09Okay, but I mean, you did kind of deserve it.
27:11I mean, your whole I heart old people thing.
27:14I was trying to find something we had in common.
27:17And now I know we have nothing in common.
27:20You're a good person who does things like this and I'm me.
27:26You're not a good person?
27:27No, Ben, I'm not.
27:30Because truthfully doing charity makes me nauseous.
27:33Yeah, me too.
27:35What?
27:36Makes me uncomfortable too.
27:38But I know why that is.
27:40Do you?
27:43I don't want to talk about this.
27:45Why?
27:45Are you afraid of saying something truthful?
27:46When my mom died, I was bounced around from relative to relative, most of them dirt poor.
27:59We were on the receiving end of a lot of charity.
28:04I spent plenty of time in places like this.
28:07And I hated it.
28:09They hand you something.
28:11A dented can of food or an ugly shirt.
28:14And someone tells you, say thank you to the nice lady.
28:17And you do.
28:19But secretly you want to scream, I hate you.
28:24I know what it's like to claw your way out of something.
28:29Look at us.
28:30Having things in common.
28:50It's about time.
28:55Is there a problem, officer?
28:56Yeah, you're parked in a fire zone.
28:58Oh, darn the luck I am.
29:03Well, it sounds like somebody's going to be slapped with a pretty steep fine.
29:07Yeah, I should write you a ticket.
29:11But if you promise not to do it again, I'll let you offer the warning.
29:15What?
29:15Why would you do that?
29:17Because I'm a new dad.
29:19Oh, jeez.
29:20Abigail Dorothy Brovka.
29:22Eight pounds, six ounces.
29:23I'm so happy, filled with love, anything short of a triple murder.
29:28And I'm pretty much looking the other way.
29:30No, no.
29:31No, don't look the other way.
29:33No, look this way.
29:35Laws have been broken.
29:36There must be consequences.
29:37I just want to get home to my baby.
29:39I mean, look at her.
29:41All wrapped up like the tastiest little burrito in Fairview.
29:43Oh, look at that.
29:45Yeah.
29:49That was not cool.
29:51Unfortunately for you, I always carry a backup.
29:54Are you kidding me?
29:56What do I have to do to get arrested here?
29:58Lady, people like you used to drive me nuts.
30:01But nothing can faze me now that this sweet little girl has come into my life.
30:04Now, that sweet little girl, she's got dumbo ears.
30:08Ma'am, you can turn around, put your hands behind your back.
30:17Never right to remain silent.
30:19Anything you say can and will be used against you.
30:21Court of law.
30:24Hey, Mike.
30:26Um, I, uh, I got a bit of a problem.
30:29Maybe you can help me out with it.
30:31I can try.
30:32What's the problem?
30:34You.
30:34How am I supposed to hire you when I can't get you bonded?
30:41Who knew?
30:42Mike Delfino, suburban dad.
30:44Guy who keeps the neatest lawn on the block.
30:48Ex-con.
30:51Yep.
30:52And you were going to mention this when?
30:54Look, I'm sorry.
30:55It's not something I tend to lead with when I meet somebody.
30:58Because you're not that guy anymore.
31:00That's right.
31:03Bad cop.
31:04You tried to rape your girlfriend.
31:06And, uh, you fought him to protect her.
31:09Tell me why you wouldn't want to be that guy anymore.
31:12That was a long time ago.
31:14I was a kid.
31:15And I learned life's a lot more complicated than I thought.
31:19Nah.
31:20Nah.
31:20Life is brutally simple.
31:24Life is getting what you want and protecting who you love.
31:28And everything else is weakness.
31:30A guy like you.
31:33A guy like you knows it.
31:37Ben, if this is all just to tell me you can't use me, I understand.
31:40No, no, no, no.
31:40I didn't say that.
31:41I said I couldn't bond you.
31:42I can definitely use you.
31:50I hope you've cooled off a bit.
31:52Yeah.
31:53Well, uh, spending a few hours in a cell with a drunk transvestite will do that, too.
31:58Your baby's cute, by the way.
32:04I swear she'll grow into those ears.
32:06Thanks.
32:07The guy who called to pick you up is here.
32:08Carlos, thanks for coming.
32:19Couldn't call Mike.
32:20And, uh, I didn't want to upset the girls, so...
32:23You okay?
32:24They told me you assaulted a motorcycle cop.
32:28Actually, it was just a motorcycle.
32:30Michael.
32:32That doesn't sound like you.
32:34I've been...
32:36in this weird place lately.
32:41I keep doing things, hoping to get caught.
32:45Does it help?
32:47For five minutes.
32:48And then I just feel guilty again.
32:57I just don't know how to pull myself out of this.
33:01I get it.
33:03Like, Abby keeps pushing me to act like everything's normal.
33:07I guess we're just supposed to stuff everything down and move on.
33:11But that's impossible.
33:12All the girls are playing poker and acting like things are fine.
33:19And they're not.
33:30It is nice to be able to talk about this.
33:32It is.
33:38You want to get some coffee?
33:42Sounds good.
34:03Parker.
34:04It's me.
34:05It's getting late.
34:06Is everything okay?
34:07Everything is fine, m'lady.
34:10Who's this?
34:12Toph.
34:13If this is a booty call, Toph is ready to fill in.
34:17Where is Parker?
34:18I don't know, man.
34:20It's kind of a Lord of the Flies situation here.
34:24So, are we hooking up or what?
34:27Up!
34:30Parker!
34:33Parker!
34:35Excuse me.
34:35Excuse me.
34:36I'm looking for my son.
34:37Parker Scobble.
34:38I'm hoping you know him.
34:39Kick's Den!
34:40Kick's Den!
34:41Kick's Den!
34:42Kick's Den!
34:43Kick's Den!
34:43And now I'm hoping you don't.
34:45Kick's Den!
34:45Kick's Den!
34:46Kick's Den!
34:47Kick's Den!
34:48Oh, hold on.
34:49This is a private party.
34:50I'll just be a minute.
34:51Whoa, whoa, whoa.
34:52What are you, some kind of narc?
34:53No, I'm just looking for my son.
34:55I swear, I'm not a narc.
34:57Exactly what a narc would say.
34:59Step aside, kid.
35:00Lady, I said no.
35:03Listen to me.
35:04My son is here somewhere, and he is probably drunk and probably terrified, and I have got
35:09to find him.
35:10Sorry.
35:10There's no way we're letting a narc into our party.
35:13I am not a narc.
35:20Okay.
35:21Would a narc do this?
35:25Lights!
35:26Kick's Den!
35:29Kick's Den!
35:30Kick's Den!
35:31Kick's Den!
35:32Kick's Den!
35:33Lynette?
35:35Uh, Tom!
35:38This isn't what it looks like.
35:40I haven't been drinking.
35:42I mean, a little.
35:44What are you doing here?
35:45But Parker called me to pick him up because he drank too much.
35:48Where is he?
35:49He's in the car.
35:50He sent me back because he lost his phone.
35:51Is he okay?
35:52He's covered in puke, which I'm hoping is his.
35:55Oh, God.
35:57This is your fault for letting him come here.
36:01My fault?
36:02You could have stopped him.
36:03Oh, please.
36:04You knew it was a bad idea.
36:05You were just too busy testing me.
36:07No, I was giving you a chance to stand up and be a father.
36:11Now we've got a 16-year-old son we have to clean off of the garden hose.
36:14I guess you showed me.
36:15You asleep?
36:27Yeah.
36:28I thought let him sober up before we punish him.
36:31I know I shouldn't have let him go tonight.
36:38But right now, saying yes is the only move I've got.
36:44Move?
36:45What is this?
36:47Some kind of game you're trying to win?
36:50Lynette, you have no idea what this is like for me.
36:52For 20 years, I had the same bedtime ritual.
36:57I'd brush my teeth and I'd go look at each kid sleeping.
37:01And no matter what crap happened during the day,
37:04I knew the things that mattered were okay.
37:06Now my ritual, I brush my teeth.
37:13So, yes.
37:15I'm doing everything I can to make the little time
37:17that I spend with them the best part of their week.
37:20Well, you're succeeding.
37:22When I see them sprint out to the car so excited to see Daddy,
37:27part of me thinks, great, they're okay with this.
37:31And part of me thinks,
37:35Oh, crap.
37:37I'm losing them to you.
37:42So you're trying to win, too?
37:43No.
37:50I just...
37:52I understand how you feel.
37:58And the only way we're going to get through this
38:01is if we stop worrying about...
38:04who wins.
38:07I'm sorry to burden you with this,
38:19but I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.
38:21Why not?
38:22Why don't you have to tell me?
38:24Repression is like your thing.
38:27Okay, let's say someone knows.
38:29They're not asking us for money.
38:30They're not trying to blackmail us.
38:32I say until they tell us what they want,
38:33we just act like everything's normal.
38:37Except I'm drinking a lot more.
38:38You don't think we should tell the others?
38:41Well, we can't tell Susan.
38:42She's already flipping out.
38:43You're right, and we shouldn't tell Annette,
38:44given what's going on in her marriage.
38:46Or Carlos, given what's going on in mine.
38:48So you don't think we should do anything?
38:54Well, there is one thing I've been telling you
38:56you need to do.
38:58Get rid of Chuck.
38:59You're right.
39:00I should.
39:01But, um...
39:01But what?
39:03This is going to sound strange.
39:06He makes me feel safe.
39:08Safe?
39:09Yeah, I do think that's strange.
39:11Especially now that some lunatic knows.
39:13But you've got to end this,
39:14and you've got to end it now.
39:15Chuck?
39:25Now, isn't that funny?
39:27I was just thinking to myself,
39:29how am I going to wash my back in the shower?
39:33And then you walk in.
39:34Serendipity, huh?
39:37Sorry.
39:38I'm going to pass.
39:42Okay.
39:45Is something on your mind?
39:50I can't wait.
39:53Breathe.
39:53Go ahead.
39:54Take your shower.
39:54I can't wait.
40:07I can't wait.
40:08I can't wait.
40:11I can't wait.
40:17I can't hear you.
40:18Hello?
40:27I have a collect call from Fairview Correctional Institution.
40:30Will you accept the charges?
40:31Yes.
40:34Bree, it's Paul Young.
40:37I've been thinking about what you asked me.
40:39You know who might have known about Mary Alice's note?
40:42Yeah.
40:43When I confessed to the murder of Martha Huber,
40:46I mentioned the letter to the police.
40:48Well, do you remember who these policemen were?
40:53The main detective was a tall guy
40:55with a short name like Pence or Vince.
40:59Was it Vance? Chuck Vance?
41:02Yes. That's it.
41:05I have to go.
41:06Come on.
41:16Okay.
41:17I know that was the shortest shower I've ever taken,
41:19but I...
41:20I really didn't like the look on your face before.
41:23Be honest with me, Bree.
41:26Are you about to break up with me?
41:27Of course not.
41:37In fact, let's get you back in that shower.
41:39Yes.
41:40In the divided world of the suburbs,
41:48everyone is looking for some way to make a connection.
41:52Some seek to connect by focusing on a greater good.
42:01Some by revealing a common history.
42:05Some by sharing a pain no one else can heal.
42:16Then there are those who once sought to make a connection,
42:21but they now want desperately to escape.
42:27Have a great day.
42:57Transcription by CastingWords
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