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Watch the Documentary and support us to find more facts in Indonesia.
.
Parking fee is Rp 10,000.
.
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.
Don't forget to follow, like, and comment.
Thank you.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:02CastingWords
00:01:04CastingWords
00:01:06CastingWords
00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22It's only manners these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:26God is Lord.
00:01:29Jesus.
00:01:31Jesus.
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though.
00:01:58Oh, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04Oh, I'm standing out here. It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08Somebody waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday. He might be here today.
00:02:12Oh, that little birdie dust standing here.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:14Come on, you're supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16Oh, wait.
00:02:17Oh, please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:26I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:32Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36Who are being stared at?
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41Don't fancy yours.
00:02:45Which is mine?
00:02:47Any.
00:02:48Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs.
00:02:52Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:54Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:14Hi.
00:03:15Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Majorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41May only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:42It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:53I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:08Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Majorca?
00:04:11It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry.
00:04:43Love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:53Every single time.
00:04:55Every single time.
00:04:59Love and rainy weather.
00:05:01First you're up there.
00:05:04On another plane and then you're nowhere.
00:05:08And the tears are raining down.
00:05:13It's a run around.
00:05:15It's a run around.
00:05:20Love and rainy weather.
00:05:25Sure can get you down.
00:05:32Not going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:34That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:40For what?
00:05:41Cutting a rug.
00:05:44Pardon?
00:05:45Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:46It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:48Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:50Right?
00:05:51What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:53Right.
00:05:54Right on.
00:05:56You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:57Tonight.
00:05:58Tomorrow night.
00:05:59Every night.
00:06:01They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:03Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:06Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:09Hassle.
00:06:11It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:06:18They do their own thing.
00:06:19The usual 1,300 weight.
00:06:24Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:27And fought for.
00:06:29Full-page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:33I'm not hungry.
00:06:37What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:42I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:01I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:06No, really.
00:07:08I really do.
00:07:09Some people don't.
00:07:12I do.
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:19Paul McCartney who?
00:07:21He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:24And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:27I sacrifice too much for your six-o levels.
00:07:29Five.
00:07:30You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:33I've never touched you.
00:07:35Terrific self-control.
00:07:41What did you say your name was?
00:07:43Mind you, just a weekend I do with you, Paul.
00:08:05Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:08A disgusting one.
00:08:13Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:16Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:28It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:36It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:41It's just that I don't like it.
00:08:46Ah.
00:09:03Oh, Sandra.
00:09:05It is almost blonde in this light.
00:09:11What's wrong?
00:09:14Just being brave.
00:09:16What about?
00:09:17Ending it all.
00:09:20Before we hurt each other too much.
00:09:23It's our first date.
00:09:27I've probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I?
00:09:31Not yet.
00:09:32Not if your parents aren't back till midnight.
00:09:37Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?
00:09:40Straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot, you went.
00:09:45Overnight.
00:09:46That was when you were too young for this sort of thing.
00:09:49It's artistic, Mother.
00:09:51Like your Tuttenhamen butter dish.
00:09:53What?
00:09:54Got it.
00:10:05Got what?
00:10:06You now ask if I never want to see you again.
00:10:09I say I do.
00:10:11You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:10:14How about Sunday, half seven, outside Central Library?
00:10:17No, I don't.
00:10:19Tomorrow, half seven, outside Central Library.
00:10:23Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:27It does not.
00:10:29I thought it did.
00:10:31Not till you've unfastened the press, stud.
00:10:33I can see her doing your ironing, and cooking, and cleaning.
00:10:39You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime.
00:10:41I don't intend to marry her, Mother.
00:10:44In case it interferes with my career.
00:10:46We're just good friends.
00:10:48Good night.
00:10:49Miss Bardot.
00:11:05Marry me.
00:11:09You know what they say?
00:11:12Once you've had a Manchester lad, you never touch anything else.
00:11:14It's about time and all.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:32Peace, man.
00:11:36Did you have a good time, Miss Knight?
00:11:38Great.
00:11:38Is this you?
00:11:40Satisfied.
00:11:41I'll say it in for a change.
00:11:44Did you get much?
00:11:47Did you?
00:11:52Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:55Not that I have done.
00:11:57They'd paid him for a change instead.
00:12:14Ticket.
00:12:19I ain't got me ticket.
00:12:20We're late already.
00:12:23See you behind the goal, then.
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:28Aye!
00:12:28Aye!
00:12:30Aye!
00:12:31Aye!
00:12:31Aye!
00:12:32Aye!
00:12:33Aye!
00:12:33Aye!
00:12:34Aye!
00:12:35Aye!
00:12:36Aye!
00:12:37Aye!
00:12:37Aye!
00:12:38Aye!
00:12:39Aye!
00:12:40Aye!
00:12:41Aye!
00:12:42Aye!
00:12:43Aye!
00:12:44Aye!
00:12:45Aye!
00:12:46Aye!
00:12:47Aye!
00:12:48Aye!
00:12:49Aye!
00:12:50Aye!
00:12:51Aye!
00:12:52Aye!
00:12:53Aye!
00:12:54Aye!
00:12:55Aye!
00:12:56Aye!
00:12:57Aye!
00:12:58Aye!
00:12:59Aye!
00:13:00Aye!
00:13:01Aye!
00:13:02Aye!
00:13:03Aye!
00:13:04Aye!
00:13:05Aye!
00:13:06Aye!
00:13:07Different girl every night. It's all the type.
00:13:14Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:17Bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:20Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:13:23At least I've got me proud.
00:13:25Oh, hello.
00:13:27Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:30Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, Normie.
00:13:33Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not especially, no.
00:13:38You going that?
00:13:40Yeah, well, um, no.
00:13:43I was sort of...
00:13:44Going to the football match?
00:13:46Are you?
00:13:47Shopping.
00:13:54I'm probably going to the pitchers tonight.
00:13:56I am.
00:13:57Which?
00:13:58Which are you?
00:13:59Any.
00:14:00I am.
00:14:05See you then.
00:14:06Tonight?
00:14:07Pardon?
00:14:08Oh, I...
00:14:09All right then.
00:14:10Right.
00:14:11Super socks.
00:14:12Did you see that?
00:14:13They're all on drugs.
00:14:14A lot of them.
00:14:15Ahem.
00:14:16Ahem.
00:14:17Ahem.
00:14:18Ahem.
00:14:19Ahem.
00:14:20Super socks.
00:14:22Did you see that?
00:14:25They're all on drugs.
00:14:26A lot of them.
00:14:27Ahem.
00:14:28Ahem.
00:14:29Ahem.
00:14:30Ahem.
00:14:31Ahem.
00:14:32Ahem.
00:14:33Ahem.
00:14:34Ahem.
00:14:35Ahem.
00:14:36Ahem.
00:14:38Ahem.
00:14:39Ahem.
00:14:40Ahem.
00:14:41Ahem.
00:14:43The score?
00:14:47Losing. 3-1.
00:15:13Excuse me, I...
00:15:18I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:31Hello, mate.
00:15:32Oh, um, peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:35Surprise.
00:15:36In anywhere controversial, pictures.
00:15:39The boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim.
00:15:41I'm just going to the...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um, you know?
00:15:51You know.
00:15:53Oh.
00:16:03Would you, uh...
00:16:05What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:06She's a...
00:16:08Fair sort of bird.
00:16:11Sort of.
00:16:12She's all right.
00:16:14Yes.
00:16:15I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:18Geoffrey, she's a bird.
00:16:24You having a coffee with us?
00:16:25No, thanks, kid.
00:16:26Neville's ravenous.
00:16:28You've just eaten.
00:16:29Oh, of course, yeah.
00:16:32Sorry.
00:16:35You see, what I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:39By implication.
00:16:41Probably by implication.
00:16:43Was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment.
00:16:47You see?
00:16:48Yes.
00:16:49Was he the errand boy?
00:16:52Was he the errand boy?
00:16:53Was he the errand boy?
00:16:54Ken Thingy.
00:16:55He directed it.
00:16:57Oh, yes.
00:16:59I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:17:02Probably.
00:17:07You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:17:10Well, I'm probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:17:14It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:17:16And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:22Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:25Sex?
00:17:26Marriage.
00:17:28Pardon?
00:17:28The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:32A couple of dates and pal they want to get married.
00:17:35I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:37I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it.
00:17:41Get married?
00:17:42Hmm.
00:17:44No.
00:17:48Actually, I find girls, or most girls, it is, a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:55Not marriage.
00:17:57No.
00:17:57Sex.
00:17:58That's what I said.
00:18:06Oh.
00:18:07Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:10Not Perseful motivated.
00:18:12No.
00:18:14No.
00:18:14Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:29Ken Russell.
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:30No.
00:18:31No.
00:18:32No.
00:18:47I won't come in, with it being our first date.
00:18:54No.
00:18:55No.
00:18:55Oh.
00:18:56Anywhere my mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:19:00Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:19:02Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:03Oh.
00:19:04Oh.
00:19:05Oh.
00:19:05Nice house.
00:19:08Oh.
00:19:09Oh.
00:19:10Oh.
00:19:11Oh.
00:19:12Oh.
00:19:13Oh.
00:19:14Oh.
00:19:15Oh.
00:19:16Oh.
00:19:17Oh.
00:19:18Oh.
00:19:19Oh.
00:19:20Oh.
00:19:21Oh.
00:19:22Oh.
00:19:23Oh.
00:19:24Oh.
00:19:25Oh.
00:19:26Oh.
00:19:27Oh.
00:19:28Oh.
00:19:29Oh.
00:19:30Oh.
00:19:31Oh.
00:19:32Oh.
00:19:33Oh.
00:19:34Oh.
00:19:35Oh.
00:19:36Oh.
00:19:37Oh.
00:19:38Oh.
00:19:39Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:41Oh.
00:19:42Oh.
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:44Oh.
00:19:45Oh.
00:19:46Oh.
00:19:47Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:51Oh.
00:19:52Oh.
00:19:53Oh.
00:19:54Oh.
00:19:55Oh.
00:19:56Oh.
00:19:57Oh.
00:19:58I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:08What is it?
00:20:09327-4421.
00:20:12The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:16then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:19But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:22No.
00:20:22But you can if you do.
00:20:24Do you want me to?
00:20:25Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:26327-4421.
00:20:29Night.
00:20:56Well, hello, Mrs. Battersby.
00:21:02Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:21:04Oh, they all have a past life flashed before me then.
00:21:07Can't be Mother's Day.
00:21:13You'd have forgotten.
00:21:15Has there been any clips?
00:21:17Mum, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:20What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:24You see, Geoffrey has this theory that, by implication...
00:21:27Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:28Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:31Oh, these things.
00:21:33Everything.
00:21:34Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:35He's fantastically intelligent.
00:21:37See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:38Beryl, who's Geoffrey?
00:21:40Oh, no-one.
00:21:44No-one's special.
00:21:46His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:48How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night, then?
00:22:01What Beryl Bird?
00:22:02I told him.
00:22:04Did she, uh...
00:22:06Did she, uh...
00:22:07What?
00:22:09Oh, wow.
00:22:15She doesn't, then.
00:22:17You don't listen, do you?
00:22:18I said...
00:22:19How about Sandra?
00:22:27Chips.
00:22:28Chams.
00:22:28Sod.
00:22:32Not seeing him tonight, then.
00:22:40Who?
00:22:45I've rather better things to do, thank you.
00:22:55Said he was no-one special.
00:22:58They've got a phone here.
00:23:01Why?
00:23:02They haven't, have they?
00:23:05Do you want to get some nookie lined up or something?
00:23:08If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two?
00:23:11Look, are you fed up here?
00:23:14Are you?
00:23:15We'll split after this game.
00:23:16Anything you say.
00:23:17We can go for a few at the King's Head.
00:23:19Great.
00:23:21And that ends our probe.
00:23:23Well, Monday tomorrow.
00:23:25Hello?
00:23:25Hallelujah.
00:23:26Pardon?
00:23:28I don't know what you're paying for that phone,
00:23:29but whatever it is, you're being done.
00:23:32Good night.
00:23:32Good night.
00:23:33Good morning.
00:24:00Good morning.
00:24:01Good morning.
00:24:10Charlton for Pope. Long may it reign. Amen.
00:24:14What's going on?
00:24:16Pound's up again.
00:24:18Oh, God.
00:24:20Today's special. Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:23Here.
00:24:24Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:26Except those.
00:24:28Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:31Why do we always do that?
00:24:4693 times a day.
00:24:48We never see anything.
00:24:51I don't see anything.
00:24:55We never see anything else.
00:25:07Oh, just as the sun was rising, I heard a maiden singing in the valley below.
00:25:16My timing, not disturbing your singing, I hope.
00:25:19See Geoffrey on Sunday.
00:25:22Oh, Geoffrey.
00:25:24That Neville's the greatest.
00:25:29Is he dishy or is he dishy?
00:25:32He never promises he's going to take this...
00:25:36I'm considering packing Geoffrey in.
00:25:39One date was enough.
00:25:41Why?
00:25:43He's cancer and I'm Libra.
00:25:45Is that bad?
00:25:46Hopeless.
00:25:49Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:01Five.
00:26:01Five, which is, which is, three and two is five, which is two less than seven, which is I.
00:26:13I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:17Bank clocks.
00:26:18Your lot?
00:26:20Football supporters.
00:26:22Hippies.
00:26:23Oh, my lot.
00:26:26At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:30It will be 7.22 and 50 seconds.
00:26:40That's it, then.
00:26:42Fate.
00:26:43All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:47So what?
00:26:50Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:51Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:03Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:05It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:28Fantastic.
00:27:28Fantastic.
00:27:28I want to know all about you.
00:27:35That's what it's all about.
00:27:39For example, with things in common already.
00:27:42Definitely.
00:27:45About what?
00:27:46We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:52Right.
00:27:55And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:02No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:06Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:09Istanbul?
00:28:10Was it beyond belief?
00:28:11I don't know.
00:28:13I was only three.
00:28:19Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:22Sometimes.
00:28:24I do.
00:28:26What now?
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Just...
00:28:31Just sometimes.
00:28:35Yes, I do.
00:28:39Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:40In getting to know a person.
00:28:44Hmm.
00:28:49He was lithe and easy-limbed.
00:28:52His stride quietly casual.
00:28:55His eyes clear and confident.
00:28:57And his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:03You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:10Really?
00:29:11You know, lopsided.
00:29:15I don't think I have.
00:29:17It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:21See?
00:29:23Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:26He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:28It must be marvellous being a man.
00:29:33It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything.
00:29:37Conquer Everest.
00:29:39Do heart transplants.
00:29:40Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:44Anything!
00:29:44Anything!
00:29:53Geoffrey!
00:29:53The N-O spells no.
00:29:56It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:58Read any women's magazine.
00:30:00It's good for theirs, too.
00:30:02Not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:05I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07All Saturdays.
00:30:10Beryl.
00:30:15Beryl.
00:30:15Oh, Geoffrey bobbles, Bumble.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:19Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl!
00:30:23Are you all right?
00:30:23What exactly happened?
00:30:24Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just heard a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:28Pardon?
00:30:34Come back.
00:30:36They're better.
00:30:36It's better.
00:30:37I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to pour.
00:30:43It's not.
00:30:44It's only the angels crying.
00:30:55I know how they feel.
00:30:58Well, don't blame me.
00:30:59I haven't done anything.
00:31:00That's true.
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl.
00:31:04I have apologized.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:12It must be a bad line.
00:31:13I can't hear you.
00:31:14You'd better apologize again.
00:31:17I apologize again.
00:31:20Gosh, this lousy line.
00:31:23I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday.
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:31Is that who I think it is?
00:31:34No, dear.
00:31:34Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:51Sardine sandwich.
00:31:53Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:56She's got her own trawler.
00:31:57Isn't it awful?
00:32:05What?
00:32:06I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:08What's happening in the world?
00:32:09I blame the politicians.
00:32:11What for?
00:32:12For what's happening in the world.
00:32:17Talk to her.
00:32:18I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:23Tasty.
00:32:26Very in oil.
00:32:27Nice in oil.
00:32:28She's got a bad leg.
00:32:32The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:34Why, after this little baker down the road, he does something with the bleach.
00:32:37I can't do long conversations about sardines so much as your mind goes blank.
00:32:54Start thinking about life after death.
00:33:01Oh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:03Number of hearts he must have broken.
00:33:05Every girl in Manchester, nearly.
00:33:09Geoffrey definitely has.
00:33:10Probably even more.
00:33:13Air hostesses.
00:33:15All sorts.
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:25Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:26Wow, is that the time, at this moment in time?
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:37Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Right in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:43Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:45Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Of course not.
00:33:50Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey.
00:33:53Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:58Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:03Who needs drama?
00:34:04So I shouted back at her.
00:34:08No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:10In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:14He thumped you.
00:34:16Walloped you on.
00:34:18No.
00:34:19I said nearly.
00:34:23You never thump me, will you?
00:34:25Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:27She adores it.
00:34:29Of course not.
00:34:29No.
00:34:34Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:37There isn't even one of the things in mine.
00:34:38He used to talk to me.
00:34:40All right, let's talk.
00:34:46Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:49Why, is your mum going out?
00:34:53May as well pack in, really.
00:34:57Why?
00:34:57Why not?
00:35:02Good thinking.
00:35:10Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:12You too, it was real.
00:35:14It's psychedelic.
00:35:15You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:17We're scratched anyway.
00:35:19It's been a gasp.
00:35:21Groovy.
00:35:23I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25No, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:40You're well-bred, Beryl.
00:35:41There's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:45About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:47Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:36:00You'll never thong me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:03Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it up?
00:36:08No, we're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:18You're Sandra.
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:23Two months.
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:28Is she positive?
00:36:29The test was.
00:36:30What are you going to do?
00:36:33She'll think of something.
00:36:35Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:40Congratulations.
00:36:40I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:42Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:44Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:48She'll kick.
00:37:13Okay.
00:37:14John for Pope.
00:37:42Long may I reign.
00:37:50Aren't you, er...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:55And you're, er...
00:37:56That's right.
00:37:58Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting my parents. Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:03That's pretty incredible.
00:38:05Your mummy and daddy.
00:38:08Er...
00:38:09Oh hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:12If I'm in the mood.
00:38:15Where you are.
00:38:17Depends where you take me.
00:38:20All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:32Roland.
00:38:33Roland.
00:38:34Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:38It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:41And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:44Didn't she tell you?
00:38:46I don't work there anymore.
00:38:48I packed her in.
00:38:50Did she turn you on?
00:38:51Beryl?
00:38:52Yeah.
00:38:53I haven't really looked.
00:38:54Seen one, you seen them all.
00:38:56Not quite all.
00:38:58I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:00Daryl?
00:39:02Yeah.
00:39:06I haven't really looked.
00:39:08You've seen one, you've seen them all.
00:39:12Not quite all.
00:39:14I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:23Must be my birthday.
00:39:25Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.
00:39:31I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:37They aren't all after Percy, Filth.
00:39:40Yes, they are.
00:39:42Mmm.
00:39:43Oh, you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:46Was it?
00:39:47Mmm.
00:39:49Terrific self-control.
00:39:52Joan of Arc never married yet,
00:39:54she led a full and happy life?
00:39:56Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:58Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:01I happen to be interested in having early nights
00:40:03and writing poetry in bed with me mo felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's run out of ink. I used it for me laundry list.
00:40:09My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm.
00:40:14Mmm.
00:40:15Mmm, please.
00:40:16Mmm, don't.
00:40:17Please.
00:40:18You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:21Mmm.
00:40:22Mmm.
00:40:23Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:25Mmm.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:32It is me birthday.
00:40:36What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:39I don't believe that question.
00:40:41You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:43I was 11 years old.
00:40:45He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:40:48My boy with the nered who knows natureurope
00:40:57I'm a gigabytes expert.
00:40:58What does the knife mean?
00:40:59This is a chess class Pamela.
00:41:00This is a chess-t hunter.
00:41:01I am alreadypection of fact that you both hear the bamboo money
00:41:02with the老'année fo you
00:41:07Finn, then because he thought you would prepare jelll.
00:41:08Soboy, I want us—
00:41:09I just want to open—
00:41:10With that.
00:41:11Wait for now.
00:41:12inos devera33
00:41:13Our Godzilla Kid
00:41:14under my Kate
00:41:18What's your name again? What's yours?
00:41:21Rock. That's not your real name.
00:41:24No. Steven.
00:41:27God, that turns me on.
00:41:37When I first met you in the street, I thought, just a quiet drink and a chat.
00:41:42Shows you the art of conversation ain't dead.
00:41:45Don't move a muscle, however gorgeous.
00:42:15Testing. Testing. Oh, Geoffrey Miller returns to the day. I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself.
00:42:24I'm fed up!
00:42:42Fed up!
00:42:44Who are you?
00:42:46Who are you?
00:42:48Hmm. What are you fed up about?
00:42:50Teachers don't have to do homework.
00:42:53No.
00:42:54They just mark it. Anyone can mark it. They've got the answers.
00:43:04Do you know it's after two o'clock?
00:43:07What's he doing here, then?
00:43:09Well, er, this is your uncle Steven.
00:43:15This is my revolting brother, Jeremy.
00:43:21How do you do?
00:43:22Don't my mum and dad know he's here.
00:43:24Jeremy, bed.
00:43:26I could always wake them up and tell them.
00:43:28Jeremy, little boys need sleep.
00:43:32Even big astronauts.
00:43:35Do you know where babies come from?
00:43:40Do you?
00:43:42Say no.
00:43:43No.
00:43:44I don't.
00:43:45Say yes.
00:43:46Shall I tell you?
00:43:47He knows.
00:43:48The man has this male organ and some blood cells and erectile glands.
00:43:52And there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has as well.
00:43:57And they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has.
00:44:02Who told you that?
00:44:04Then they go to the fallopian tubes after that.
00:44:06One of them fertilises with the female egg.
00:44:09The others don't bother.
00:44:11Anyway, that's what you have to do.
00:44:13Then you have a baby.
00:44:15Do they teach you that at school?
00:44:18They do woodwork in the next class.
00:44:21People can only make babies at certain times of the year.
00:44:24But animals, like dogs and cats and giraffes, I think, do it all the time.
00:44:30N-no, erm, that's people.
00:44:34What is?
00:44:38Well, people do it all the time.
00:44:41Whenever they feel like it.
00:44:46In the next class you can do metalwork if you don't like woodwork.
00:44:53Goodnight, Jeremy.
00:44:5625p?
00:44:5850.
00:45:0050.
00:45:02Good night, Uncle Stephen.
00:45:23Would you care for a government health warning?
00:45:34Hey, Veronica!
00:45:36Yes?
00:45:37Who the hell's Uncle Stephen at ten past two in the morning?
00:45:39A friend of Jeremy's. He's going now.
00:45:44Good night, love.
00:45:48We would have done that, wouldn't we?
00:45:49And how.
00:45:53You can't win them all, can you?
00:45:56Anyway, do you good going without for a change.
00:46:05Still, there's always another day.
00:46:07Tomorrow?
00:46:08No.
00:46:10Tomorrow's another day.
00:46:11Shh.
00:46:12Not unless you happen to be in Plymouth.
00:46:15Where?
00:46:16I'm joining the Wrens for three years.
00:46:20What Wrens?
00:46:21The Royal Navy's Wrens.
00:46:26This time tomorrow, I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors.
00:46:31Hope I like it.
00:46:36Well, thanks for nearly everything.
00:46:41We definitely would have done, wouldn't we?
00:46:42Well, obviously.
00:46:44Well, we're as good as dead, in a way, really.
00:46:46Almost.
00:46:48Just keep telling yourself and we will have only better.
00:46:52Good night, love.
00:46:54Try a barrel.
00:46:55Morning, previous generation.
00:47:19Morning, previous generation.
00:47:19What's for breakfast?
00:47:31You knew it was your mother's birthday.
00:47:33Now, what we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof?
00:47:37I'm sorry, Mum.
00:47:39I'll take you out another night.
00:47:40Something cropped up.
00:47:41Like what?
00:47:42Dad, you understand.
00:47:47I don't, Geoffrey.
00:47:49Well, you always say you do.
00:47:51Geoffrey, you're at it every night.
00:47:54Yes, Dad.
00:47:55And we don't complain.
00:47:56No, Dad.
00:47:57But last night was different.
00:47:58I knew you'd understand.
00:48:00Oh, my gosh.
00:48:21the Pope on me around what's going on pounds down again open down like a
00:48:37berenickers you should know or me not me what a night a lot including action replays in slow motion
00:48:53hey lads I picked up a bit of spare last night who didn't it's true
00:49:01yes Jeffrey it is yes Jeffrey bloody yes poor Jeffrey Beryl please it's Neville's engagement
00:49:19party as well he had to invite him he'll see me it's cruel see other girls I shan't take him back
00:49:28Sandra I shan't it's been two weeks he may have got over you by now don't know much about men do you love
00:49:58it was doing him a kindness really finally splitting up he only had one ambition in life
00:50:09send my knickers to Oxfam
00:50:12good job she hasn't joined the rent the entire navy gone strike
00:50:20I expect he's sorry now I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't she might have changed of course
00:50:29if she has I might let her have the old orgy nine again he's got to accept we've finally split up
00:50:36otherwise I definitely won't take him back
00:50:38well I'm certainly not making the first move
00:50:44at least I've got me pride
00:50:46I left with Beryl baby
00:50:49oh hi
00:50:50didn't see you
00:50:51no nor me
00:50:52and how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on then
00:50:57United
00:50:57we're winning every game now
00:50:59oh good
00:51:01and what's new with Jeffrey then
00:51:04I asked you what was new with you
00:51:11did you
00:51:17did I say more
00:51:18pardon
00:51:20how's Beryl baby getting on then
00:51:22Jeffrey I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl baby
00:51:27it isn't like you
00:51:29say that again
00:51:30Beryl baby
00:51:31what's your name handsome
00:51:35you laugh
00:51:37everybody laughs
00:51:38it's the story of my life
00:51:40you tell it like it is Chuck
00:51:43she's putting on an axe
00:51:51what do you care
00:51:54I don't know
00:51:56what baby
00:51:57is she going to get into bed with him now
00:52:04probably
00:52:07Jeffrey always looks out for sleep these days
00:52:13well it's very exhausting
00:52:15it is
00:52:17working in a bank
00:52:20oh
00:52:21I had this bad scene
00:52:29this chick
00:52:29and decided to split
00:52:31so I cut out man
00:52:35like there's no tomorrow
00:52:37this cat gets it together where he's at man
00:52:42lots of beautiful bags baby
00:52:46so if you want a piece of the action
00:52:49don't cool it
00:52:51dig
00:52:53sorry I no understand English
00:53:01I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one
00:53:11she has
00:53:14and which is her husband
00:53:16neither
00:53:18it's warming up isn't it
00:53:24great beat isn't it
00:53:33great to dance to
00:53:35do you agree that life's an onion
00:53:41if so what's death
00:53:46um
00:53:48a banana
00:53:50yes I expect it is when you think about it
00:53:55have you read Schopenhauer's concept of existence
00:53:58um
00:54:00no
00:54:02but I've seen the film
00:54:05you married
00:54:06no
00:54:08grab yourself an adage
00:54:10marriage is a cabbage
00:54:13are you a poet
00:54:15never ask the questions
00:54:17ask the answers
00:54:19you are a poet
00:54:20to any manager of Marks and Spencers
00:54:24which I
00:54:26I really dirt you
00:54:29now he's taking his clothes off
00:54:32what's on ITV
00:54:35this
00:54:37what's on BBC
00:54:39Casinova
00:54:43what's that like
00:54:45this
00:54:47oh come on now
00:54:50you know that's not where it's at
00:54:52let's get this
00:54:53what's the word
00:54:54let's get it
00:54:56clear
00:54:57let's get down to the real nitty grittiesville
00:54:59okay
00:55:00women's lip
00:55:10is not about burning brass
00:55:13papers yeah
00:55:14what papers
00:55:16a marriage certificate
00:55:18a dog's license
00:55:19whatever you prefer to call it
00:55:20look let's be basic about this
00:55:22Enid
00:55:23all girls want marriage
00:55:24and a wide wedding
00:55:25really basic
00:55:27you want to be really basic
00:55:29utterly basic
00:55:30balls
00:55:31grass
00:55:33Enid
00:55:35when Sandra says every girl
00:55:38she means most girls
00:55:39well like herself
00:55:40not me of course
00:55:41because I incredibly value my independence
00:55:43but most girls definitely want
00:55:46balls
00:55:46if you can't conduct an intelligent conversation
00:55:50without recourse to
00:55:51I'm not recourseing to anything
00:55:52I'm merely telling you what girls want
00:55:54what
00:55:55balls
00:55:56would you please stop saying that
00:55:59you believe in free love right
00:56:01wrong
00:56:02I believe in free everything
00:56:04freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination
00:56:07honestly don't you understand
00:56:09excuse me you've got your hand on me
00:56:10excuse me excuse me if you've got your hand on me
00:56:15no
00:56:15oh
00:56:16oh sorry
00:56:18wow man sorry
00:56:20it's all right
00:56:20oh gee
00:56:21it's a pleasure
00:56:22grass
00:56:23jeffrey you've not to
00:56:25why not
00:56:26I said don't you not to smoke it
00:56:28we're as liberated as you Enid
00:56:42we've equal importance as individuals
00:56:44neither of us is boss
00:56:46it just doesn't arise
00:56:47we'll make some coffee
00:56:49you see what we believe
00:56:52now
00:56:52you see
00:56:56yeah one
00:56:57I can see there's only one way to get through
00:57:02what you doing
00:57:06lighting everybody's fire
00:57:08burn my bra
00:57:12right that's it
00:57:18finished
00:57:19the end
00:57:20full stop
00:57:21we've finally split up
00:57:24Neville
00:57:24Sandra wants you
00:57:26I should imagine
00:57:27sad isn't it
00:57:31pathetic
00:57:34well I can't follow plays these days
00:57:40it's just showing real life that's all
00:57:43I once thought I'd found her
00:57:50the perfect girl
00:57:52red hair
00:57:54not too skinny
00:57:56very gentle and shy
00:57:59passionate when roused
00:58:03yeah
00:58:04she packed me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick
00:58:08you're very sweet
00:58:10you're very sweet
00:58:10I've always thought you were
00:58:14did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin
00:58:19it's just I'm a bit tired
00:58:22no it's nice
00:58:23I don't think I've washed that one
00:58:49oh
00:58:50oh
00:58:50sorry
00:58:50do you know
00:58:55what Beryl
00:58:56she can ask me anything
00:58:57do you know where Jeffrey's got to
00:59:01he's upstairs I think
00:59:05is it true they're dry on their own
00:59:13usually
00:59:15usually
00:59:16oh
00:59:20I hate to be any trouble
00:59:23but I think I'm dying
00:59:25we'll be all right
00:59:26honest
00:59:26she said I shouldn't smoke it
00:59:29who
00:59:30she said
00:59:31Jeffrey
00:59:35Jeffrey
00:59:38sorry
00:59:45sorry
00:59:47Jeffrey
00:59:52move up a bit Jeffrey
00:59:58put your legs
01:00:00that's better
01:00:02it's because it's your first time isn't it
01:00:07call Dr. Wise
01:00:14put a Quilmslow road
01:00:16it wasn't marijuana you know
01:00:22what was it then
01:00:26grass
01:00:27grass is marijuana
01:00:31this grass wasn't
01:00:33it was the real thing
01:00:36from the front lawn
01:00:38from the front lawn
01:00:48is that you Beryl?
01:00:54had a nice time?
01:00:56even though it's three o'clock in the morning
01:00:58not that I mind
01:01:00if you've had a nice time
01:01:02even though I've been in bed since ten
01:01:04having a good night's worry
01:01:05did you see Jeffrey?
01:01:09that's good
01:01:13do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:20I didn't try at all
01:01:21gave me to rest
01:01:23I'm right off birds
01:01:26I am
01:01:27I am
01:01:28I am
01:01:29I am
01:01:30for good
01:01:31me too
01:01:32and me
01:01:46and me
01:01:49For good.
01:01:51Me too.
01:01:53And me.
01:02:13Good morning. Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:17Good night.
01:02:47Good night.
01:02:49Good night.
01:02:51Good night.
01:02:53Good night.
01:02:55Good night.
01:02:57Good night.
01:02:59Good night.
01:03:01Good night.
01:03:03Good night.
01:03:05Good night.
01:03:07Oh, Beryl.
01:03:09Beryl.
01:03:15Geoffrey.
01:03:18Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:23Oh, Beryl.
01:03:27Oh, Geoffrey.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:37Hello.
01:03:43Ta-ra.
01:03:45Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:47Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:51You're a bugger.
01:03:53I don't know who he takes after.
01:04:03Hello?
01:04:04It's me.
01:04:05Who?
01:04:07My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:09Oh, hello, Beryl.
01:04:10I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:13If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in.
01:04:16Tonight or any other night.
01:04:18Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:21ifi.
01:04:37That's the world.
01:04:39Good evening, Mrs. Battersby. I was looking for a nice lampshade.
01:04:57Oh?
01:04:59Probably this one. Definitely. Magic in satin.
01:05:03Oh, certainly, Geoffrey. Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?
01:05:09You'd like some nice fancy wrapping paper, wouldn't you?
01:05:17I'm a child of the universe, Beryl. I have a right to be here.
01:05:20I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. Try the co-op.
01:05:23Beryl, listen.
01:05:23If you can smell burning, it's just that the vicar's been around burning his jockstrap.
01:05:26Beryl, listen.
01:05:27Can I help you, Madam? Have you got that in another colour?
01:05:30No, Madam.
01:05:31I'll leave it then.
01:05:39Listen to what, for heaven's sake?
01:05:43Don't matter.
01:05:45What doesn't?
01:05:46You wouldn't, anyway.
01:05:47Wouldn't what?
01:05:49Go to the match with me on Saturday.
01:05:52Me? A football match? With 40,000 skinheads and you?
01:05:58Told you.
01:06:00Who are they playing?
01:06:01Huddersfield Town.
01:06:08In the cot?
01:06:09I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.
01:06:16The...
01:06:17The fourth from the bottom.
01:06:20Shows you.
01:06:20Away from home, they've won three, drawn five, and lost 12.
01:06:29Drawn five.
01:06:34So what do you think?
01:06:37I think I nearly love you.
01:06:38Yeah.
01:06:50Never mind, it's only a game.
01:07:06I thought you said you nearly loved me.
01:07:13No!
01:07:15Yeah!
01:07:15I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United.
01:07:21I may be wrong.
01:07:22Grace who?
01:07:24We live in a permissive society, Beryl.
01:07:26Read any colour supplement.
01:07:28Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.
01:07:30I am, love.
01:07:31And it wasn't through going to football matches.
01:07:34You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up,
01:07:37even if he's only on the phone.
01:07:39Yes, well, boys are very safe.
01:07:42And I am your mother.
01:07:44That's what I said.
01:07:45I don't mean, er, permissive, permissive.
01:07:51Let's see.
01:07:52Romantic.
01:07:55Pardon?
01:07:56Kissing, cuddling.
01:07:58Things of that nature.
01:08:02Oh, we do.
01:08:03Do what?
01:08:05What you just said.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:07Not too much, I hope.
01:08:09Oh, God.
01:08:10Boys are very funny.
01:08:12They're novices compared to mothers.
01:08:15Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?
01:08:22Oh.
01:08:22Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains.
01:08:29Yes.
01:08:30Fantastic.
01:08:30The Cowgills.
01:08:31Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:32Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:33Married couple.
01:08:34Newlyweds.
01:08:35Not long married.
01:08:36You go bald doing that.
01:08:37Doing what?
01:08:38Doing what?
01:08:39I'll tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.
01:08:41Living in New York City.
01:08:42Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:43Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:44Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:45Married couple.
01:08:46Newlyweds.
01:08:47Not long married.
01:08:48You go bald doing that.
01:08:49Doing what?
01:08:50I'll tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.
01:09:08Living in sin.
01:09:10Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:21If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano,
01:09:25would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:28I don't think so.
01:09:31Beryl would.
01:09:34Given you a bad time, is she?
01:09:37Oh, I wouldn't say that.
01:09:42I haven't even mentioned the word.
01:09:45What word?
01:09:46Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone
01:09:51thinking she's automatically...
01:09:52I never said you were!
01:09:53You think it!
01:10:07All right, Geoffrey.
01:10:09I hereby promise never to utter the word again.
01:10:14Marriage?
01:10:15Never.
01:10:16Well, until I am.
01:10:19If I ever do.
01:10:21Which I fervently hope I never will.
01:10:23For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:26No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey.
01:10:33You mustn't feel guilty about me.
01:10:36I'm sorry.
01:10:39No-one can say you've completely ruined me life.
01:10:43Not yet.
01:10:45What are you staring at?
01:10:55Hello?
01:10:56You all right, son?
01:10:57Terrific.
01:10:58Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then?
01:11:00Your mother's theory is you're overworking.
01:11:03Hmm.
01:11:04My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.
01:11:07Oh.
01:11:08What's your theory?
01:11:09Indigestion.
01:11:10Oh.
01:11:13What's yours, Sundance?
01:11:16Hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:18He has said one thing.
01:11:19Oh, what's that?
01:11:20If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks.
01:11:23All right.
01:11:26The weeks and months drag by,
01:11:29and with neither side willing to compromise,
01:11:31we still have deadlock.
01:11:33Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out
01:11:37of this dilemma.
01:11:39Another wild night learning what N.O. spells
01:11:41and how many of us school pals are getting married.
01:11:43And what N.O. spells.
01:11:45And what N.O. spells.
01:11:47Great!
01:11:48I might as well go bald and open me own monastery.
01:11:51And so society, that's you and me,
01:11:54says end this dispute.
01:11:57End it now.
01:11:59Goodnight.
01:12:00Hear, hear.
01:12:02Good, wasn't he?
01:12:03Terrific.
01:12:04Especially when he said goodnight.
01:12:06We're just enjoying ourselves.
01:12:09Having a good time.
01:12:11Just having fun.
01:12:13Being happy!
01:12:15Take two a day, after meals,
01:12:18and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again
01:12:20in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all.
01:12:26You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:28Absolutely positive.
01:12:29That was the first film we ever saw together.
01:12:33Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:37Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:48Look, Beryl.
01:12:49How's this for a peace plan?
01:12:51You join a marriage bureau,
01:12:53and I'll get a job on the stage.
01:12:55Twice nightly in Denmark.
01:12:56Then we'll both be happy.
01:12:58Right?
01:12:59Right.
01:13:00You're Jesus Christ, superstar.
01:13:02Amen.
01:13:05Oh, hell.
01:13:06Hands up again.
01:13:07See you tomorrow.
01:13:09Where do you think you're going?
01:13:16Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.
01:13:18It's important.
01:13:21What is?
01:13:23I keep asking you what is.
01:13:28What is?
01:13:30To be on our own.
01:13:32What?
01:13:34So as we can talk.
01:13:36What?
01:13:42Had an old speech worked out on the bus this morning.
01:13:47The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.
01:13:50Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United,
01:13:53and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.
01:13:56Grace who?
01:13:57She was playing for United as well.
01:13:59Weird, isn't it?
01:14:09The main thing is, we do communicate.
01:14:13Oh, we do.
01:14:20We do.
01:14:23See, what face is there, aren't you?
01:14:24See, what I...
01:14:26Go on.
01:14:27No, you. Mine wasn't important.
01:14:29No, mine wasn't.
01:14:41Beryl?
01:14:45Are you...
01:14:47Happy?
01:14:48Of course.
01:14:50Very.
01:14:53I am.
01:14:55No one is every second of every minute of every day.
01:15:00No.
01:15:03I'm not.
01:15:04Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:16Probably.
01:15:18I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:20Well, not in so many words.
01:15:22Mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:24Is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:41No.
01:15:42Don't think so.
01:15:43Honestly, no.
01:15:45Nothing.
01:15:46If there is, you just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:48If there isn't anything.
01:15:49Honest.
01:15:50Good.
01:15:53It wouldn't upset me.
01:15:55It'd just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:16:03Like, you know, crimson shoes and bottle green socks.
01:16:10Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.
01:16:13If I did, I'd stop.
01:16:14To please you.
01:16:19I see.
01:16:25There's no need to be sensitive, Jeffrey.
01:16:27In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:32Your mother.
01:16:33Pardon?
01:16:34I like your mother.
01:16:35Please don't sulk, Jeffrey.
01:16:36Hand her lampshades.
01:16:37Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:41Well, you ought to know.
01:16:42You've almost made it an art form.
01:16:44Anything else at random?
01:16:46You've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:48After all, I'm no Bridget Bardot.
01:16:50According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:54Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl Battersby.
01:16:59Ask any opinion poll.
01:17:01I'm much fatter for a start.
01:17:03You're not all that fat, Beryl.
01:17:04I am.
01:17:05Start slimming.
01:17:06Men like something to get hold of.
01:17:08If they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:10You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth in the end, don't you? Always.
01:17:14No, I don't, Beryl. You do. I always fail.
01:17:17Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:20The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:23Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.
01:17:25Especially for the 600th time. That they really dig.
01:17:29You never say dig.
01:17:30I did then.
01:17:32Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about. That's really lovable.
01:17:38I never knew you thought that.
01:17:41Neither did I.
01:17:43Do now, though.
01:17:44I used to say dig before I met you.
01:17:58I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:04There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:14There, there.
01:18:15There, there, there.
01:18:16There, there, there.
01:18:17There.
01:18:22There, there.
01:18:23There.
01:18:28Thinking what I'm thinking?
01:18:32I think so.
01:18:34We just don't like each other.
01:18:37At all.
01:18:38At all.
01:18:50Oh, goodbye then.
01:18:53Good luck.
01:18:54Peace, ma'am.
01:18:59St Anne's Square.
01:19:00St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:08So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:19:18And what else do I need?
01:19:21Oh, yes, a ring.
01:19:23Teething ring?
01:19:25Wedding ring? Of course.
01:19:27Oh, they have gorgeous prams in the shops these days.
01:19:31No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:34Oh, sorry.
01:19:36What about? Skip it.
01:19:39About time, too.
01:19:41With her sympathy.
01:19:42Not that I need any, actually.
01:19:44I've never been as happy in me life.
01:19:46But she doesn't know that.
01:19:48If I'm looking miserable, Sandra,
01:19:51it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:53Yeah.
01:19:57We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:59Of course we do.
01:20:00How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:03Nice.
01:20:05She used to wear pink, you know?
01:20:06I won't tell you where.
01:20:07A hell of a lot more where hers came from.
01:20:08Wow!
01:20:09Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:12I know, spells no.
01:20:13Super day for it.
01:20:14Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:15Well, Sandra, this is it.
01:20:16Yep.
01:20:17The big day.
01:20:18Yep.
01:20:19Yep.
01:20:20Coming to the crutch.
01:20:21Crunch.
01:20:22I dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest seeing him again.
01:20:24You mustn't think I'll be crying inside because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:27I know.
01:20:28Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:29I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:31Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:34Well, Sandra, this is it.
01:20:39Yep.
01:20:40The big day.
01:20:41Yep.
01:20:42Coming to the crutch.
01:20:43Crunch.
01:20:44I dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest seeing him again.
01:20:49You mustn't think I'll be crying inside because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:54And what's more, no one will know that I am.
01:20:57Because I shan't.
01:20:59Truly.
01:21:00Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.
01:21:05It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:10And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:17Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:20Eh, fine.
01:21:21This is fine enough.
01:21:22Here?
01:21:23About there, lovely.
01:21:24You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:27Wow.
01:21:28Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:32Ow!
01:21:33Oh, sorry.
01:21:35That's right.
01:21:36Hold it.
01:21:37Lovely.
01:21:40Right, now, a nice family group of the parents, please.
01:21:42Right, parents.
01:21:43Funny.
01:21:44I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met.
01:21:47How have you been?
01:21:49Absolutely great.
01:21:51You?
01:21:52Never better.
01:21:53Ever.
01:21:54That's it.
01:21:55Hold it like that.
01:21:57It's all over now.
01:21:58Bar the salmon salad.
01:22:00It's tuna fish.
01:22:03It's life.
01:22:09Good.
01:22:10Good.
01:22:11Good.
01:22:12See you, President.
01:22:13Nixon went to China, then.
01:22:14That was before we ever met.
01:22:16I know.
01:22:17Why?
01:22:18Has something happened about it?
01:22:19No.
01:22:20Oh?
01:22:21Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:23Mm.
01:22:24Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.
01:22:30Nixon.
01:22:31Why is he going?
01:22:32No.
01:22:33The astronauts.
01:22:34Oh.
01:22:35It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:37We never really talked, did we?
01:22:38About things that matter.
01:22:39Good, isn't it?
01:22:40Shows we're friends.
01:22:41Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:42Everybody thinks we're broken-hearted.
01:22:43We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:22:45My mother's convinced me that we're broken-hearted.
01:22:47I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:22:48Aww.
01:22:49I expect it's only temporary.
01:22:50I hope not.
01:22:51It's marvellous.
01:22:52This is a wonderful morning.
01:22:53In the morning and evening we'll visit the
01:23:16I hope not. It's marvellous.
01:23:18Good.
01:23:19I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:22Thank you, love.
01:23:26Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:32And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:35Fantastic.
01:23:36For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:41I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:46In bed I bet.
01:23:51And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol
01:23:54and marry her three days later.
01:23:59We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:02I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:04Oh, yeah.
01:24:05I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:08Where's she going?
01:24:09Hospital.
01:24:09Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:17Thank you very much.
01:24:34Oh, hello, Mrs. Battersby, you won't remember me.
01:25:00Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:03Is Beryl there, please?
01:25:07She's gone to the football match.
01:25:11There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:14Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:33Hi.
01:25:41When's the kick-off?
01:25:43In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:47Well, what on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:51I forgot. I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:57Where will you go now, then?
01:25:59I don't know.
01:26:03I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:09Where will you?
01:26:11Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:13Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:17Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:19May as well, if you like.
01:26:21Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:23Just as friends.
01:26:25Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:27Yeah, I did.
01:26:35Wish we had a ball.
01:26:37I could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:48Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:27:07Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:22We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:25Anyone, really.
01:27:33There's millions to choose from.
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:41You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:43You will, Beryl.
01:27:45Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:49Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:50Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:51Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:52Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:53Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:54Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:55Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:56Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:57Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:58Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:59Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:00Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:01Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:02Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:03Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:04Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:05Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:06Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:07Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:08Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:09Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:10Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:11Picking one out of the crowd.
01:28:12And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's dark
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:57Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's dark
01:29:11Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:21Love and rainy weather
01:29:25Are followed by the sun
01:29:29Love and rainy weather
01:29:33I wrote the war
01:29:37I wrote it to be Brand song
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