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A lost cartoon from 1970s by Rankin-Bass. Found from the internetarchive.org.
A lost cartoon from 1970s by Rankin-Bass. Found from the internetarchive.org.
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FunTranscript
00:00We're gonna pull me around and fill the room with blackbirds today.
00:14Put on your rosy-colored glasses and your smile, yeah, that's the way.
00:21But because we're putting on the nonsense, the funny stuff, the nonsense, the riddles,
00:27jokes, and silly things, it's all kumfoolery.
00:30Oh yes, we're putting on the nonsense, the funny stuff, the nonsense.
00:35We'll jizzle and freeze on your bone, it's all kumfoolery.
00:40With the enthusiastic elephants, the fiskigia fish, the yawgy-bongy bow,
00:45the scroobious snake, and the outrageous umbrella maker.
00:50Come on, we're putting on the nonsense, the funny stuff, the nonsense.
00:55The riddles, jokes, and silly things, it's all kumfoolery.
01:02Ah, my son, the son of Dracula, have you been doing your vampire homework?
01:12Yes, papa.
01:15Good, good.
01:16Let me then see you turn into a bat.
01:19Boy, if there's anything I can't stand, it's a dumb vampire.
01:23I mean, they're the worst kind, really atrocious, atrocious, the worst kind, I tell you.
01:30The kind of phrase, Iggle-ump-fer-dump-fink.
01:36Oyster-stool.
01:38I just love oyster-stool.
01:43Ow, ow!
01:46You know, I have a mechanical mind.
01:50Too bad some of the screws are loose.
01:53Watch, daddy.
01:54Not a hat, you dum-dum.
01:57Bet, bet!
02:01Pencil sharpeners are out.
02:04I tell you, and I stir, wink at me.
02:07Oh, don't be so silly.
02:09Ha-ha, I'll try this bowl.
02:12Ow!
02:13And now, for some music.
02:19The new vestments.
02:20There lived an old man in the kingdom of Tess
02:28Who invented a purely original dress
02:32And when it was perfectly made and complete
02:36He opened the door and walked into the street
02:40He had walked the short way when he heard great noise
02:45Of all sorts of beasticles, birdlings, and noise
02:48And from every long street and dark lane in the town
02:52Beasts, birdlings, and boys in a tomba came down
02:56Two cows and a calf ate his cabbage-leaf coat
03:03Four apes seized his girdle, which vanished like smoke
03:07Three kids ate up half of his pancake coat
03:10And the tails were devoured by an ancient old goat
03:15There lived an old man in the kingdom of Tess
03:18Who invented a purely original dress
03:22And when it was perfectly made and complete
03:26He opened the door and walked into the street
03:30An army of dogs in a twinkling tore up his
03:35Port waistcoat and trousers to give to their puppies
03:39And while he was growling and rumbling the chops
03:43Ten boys ate the jujubes and chocolate drops
03:46And he said to himself as he bolted the door
03:52I'll not wear a similar dress anymore
03:55Anymore, anymore, anymore, anymore
04:01I'll not wear a similar dress
04:06Anymore, anymore
04:12Send popcorn, a card for Father's Day
04:17Go ahead, my son
04:19No, bat, bat, bat
04:25Pencils are back in and erasers are out
04:30And now, for the continuing story of
04:43The Four Little Children Who Went Around the World
04:46Presenting the second chapter
04:48Which is entitled
04:49Chapter Two
04:51After a long, long time
04:55They came to a country which was wholly covered
04:58With immense orange trees of vast size
05:00And quite full of fruit
05:02So, they all landed
05:04Taking with them the tea kettle
05:06Intending to gather some of the oranges
05:08And place them in it
05:09But while they were busy about this
05:12A most dreadfully high wind rose
05:13And blew out most of the parrot tail feathers
05:16From Violet's bonnet
05:17That, however, was nothing
05:20Compared with the calamity of the oranges
05:22Falling down on their heads
05:23By millions and millions
05:25Which thumped and bumped
05:26And bumped and bumped them
05:28All so seriously
05:29That they were obliged
05:30To run as hard as they could
05:31For their lives
05:32I'd say those oranges
05:34Were trying to make people juice
05:36Nevertheless
05:40They got safely to the boat
05:42Although considerably vexed and hurt
05:44And the crangle-wangle's right foot
05:46Was so knocked about
05:48That he had to sit with his head
05:49In his slipper
05:50For at least a week
05:52I guess he sat with his head in his slipper because he had his foot in his mouth.
05:59After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another country,
06:04where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless multitude of white mice with red eyes,
06:10all sitting in a great circle, slowly eating custard pudding with the most satisfactory and polite demeanor.
06:18I suppose you could call that custard's last stand.
06:23And as the four travelers were rather hungry, being tired of eating nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period,
06:32they held a council as to the propriety of asking the mice for some of their pudding in a humble and affecting manner,
06:40by which they could hardly be otherwise gratified.
06:43Grrr-ratified? You mean germouse-ified, don't you?
06:49Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
06:51It was agreed, therefore, that guys should go and ask the mice, which he immediately did.
06:57And the result was that they gave a walnut shell only half full of custard, diluted with water.
07:04Now this displeased Guy, who said,
07:06Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got,
07:08I must say you might have spared a somewhat larger quantity.
07:12But no sooner had he finished speaking
07:14than all the mice turned round at once
07:16and sneezed at him in an appalling and vindictive manner.
07:21So the guy rushed back to the boat,
07:23having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard pudding,
07:26by which means he completely spoiled the mice's dinner.
07:30If that oyster winks at me again,
07:35I'll stop eating here.
07:37And I darn well mean it.
07:41That does it.
07:42From here on, I'm gonna eat at Yonky-Bonky-Bow's restaurant.
07:49Oyster stew.
07:51Change restaurants, huh?
07:54No!
08:00Hello?
08:04You don't say.
08:05You don't say.
08:07You don't say.
08:09You don't say.
08:12You don't say.
08:14You don't say.
08:18Gee, who was that?
08:20He didn't say.
08:21There are two things I simply won't eat for breakfast.
08:47What two things?
08:49Lunch and supper.
08:50Go ahead, little Vivaldi.
08:56Not mad!
08:58Bad!
08:59Bad!
09:00Bad!
09:01Bad!
09:01Bad!
09:02Bad yourself!
09:03Anything worse than a dumb vampire,
09:05it's a noisy vampire.
09:07I mean, really.
09:08Jabba, jabba, jabba.
09:09Jabba, jabba.
09:10Jabba, jabba, jabba.
09:12Oh, waiter!
09:14Call me by my nickname.
09:16Waiter.
09:16Oh, very well, Mr. Kratzenaldbogen.
09:20May I have my check?
09:22Oh, I hope you enjoyed our meal.
09:24It was quite good, but there was only one piece of bread.
09:28I love bread.
09:31Oh, next time you'll get bread.
09:33You know what my trouble is, Fitzgudges?
09:39Oh, please.
09:40Call me by my nickname, Fitzgudges.
09:43Okay, lassie.
09:45Well, my problem is that I can never tell a riddle correctly.
09:49Oh, I'll help.
09:51Try this one.
09:52What's the longest piece of furniture in the world?
09:56I don't know.
09:58The multiplication of table.
10:00Oh, jolly, jolly, jolly.
10:03If only I could riddle a riddle in such a riddlesome way.
10:07Let's play it out on Yungie over there.
10:09I will.
10:10I will.
10:13Hey, tell me, what's the longest table in the world,
10:18especially when it's 11 times 12?
10:21What?
10:23Drat.
10:25Oh, my uncle uses a bumblebee as a doorbell.
10:30A bumblebee as a doorbell?
10:32Does that work?
10:33Oh, it's a real humdinger.
10:36Oh, oh, oh.
10:38Let's have some limericks.
10:46There was an old person upon me.
10:50Whose food was snow spiders and chutney
10:54Which he took with his tea
10:57Within sight of the sea
10:59That romantic old person of footney
11:02Which he took with his tea
11:05Inside of the sea
11:07That romantic old person of footney
11:11There was an old man of footney
11:17Whose mind was the person of footney
11:21For he sat upon a rail
11:24With his head in a pail
11:26That elusible person of footney
11:30For he sat upon a rail
11:32With his head in a pail
11:34That elusible person of footney
11:38What can go up a chimney down
11:45But can't come down a chimney up
11:48Oh, everybody knows that
11:50An umbrella hole
11:52If everybody knows it
11:54Why didn't somebody tell me?
11:58Why, indeed
11:59The food's fine
12:01But there's still not enough bread
12:03I like bread
12:05Bread, bread
12:08Next time you'll get bread
12:09I promise
12:10Bread you'll get
12:11Oh, guess what I am
12:14A people-toed pigeon
12:16Go ahead, my son
12:19Do your stuff
12:21Your arms
12:21Not a flat
12:24A fat
12:25Fat
12:26Fat
12:26Fat
12:27Fat
12:28Guess what I am
12:30A people-legged bow
12:32And I guess you could call me
12:36A people-eyed cross
12:38Well
12:41The meal was fine
12:43But tell me
12:44Why do you hold back on the bread?
12:47I like bread
12:48Bread, bread
12:51I'll give him bread
12:52I'll make a giant loaf
12:54I'll make the biggest loaf of bread he's ever seen
12:57Which brings us to
13:01The cooking lesson
13:03Take it away, Chef Youngie
13:05Oh, call me by my nickname, Chef
13:08All right, Hermione
13:09Take it away
13:10Today we will learn how to make
13:13A loaf of bread as big as a railroad car
13:18First, you need 300,000 train loads
13:22Of the most merlifluous flour you can get
13:25If you don't have 300,000 train loads around the house
13:29You may borrow a cup from your neighbor
13:31I just happen to have King Kong for a neighbor
13:35Next, you need 500,000 gallons of milk
13:40Oh, that was a day's work
13:44Then six tons of salty sugar
13:47And four tons of sugary salt
13:49Seven cups of butter
13:51And one cup drop
13:52What's the cup drop for?
13:54I got a tickle in my throat
13:56Next, you must find a mixing bowl
13:59Big enough for the job
14:01Dump ingredients into the bowl
14:04One at a time
14:04Or helter-skelter
14:06Whichever has the best rhythm
14:07Being careful to remove all sopranos beforehand
14:12My name is Han
14:13No sopranos leave before I do
14:16Knock it off
14:18And?
14:19If you please
14:20Then mix all the ingredients
14:23Using a 7,000 horsepower egg beater
14:26Or you may use 7,000 horses
14:28Whichever is more sentimental
14:31Bake in an ice-cold oven
14:33And allow it to rise at will
14:36Soon you will have a loaf of bread
14:39As big as a railroad car
14:42The food is fine
14:45But why, why suddenly
14:47Are you back to only one piece of bread?
14:57Explosion
14:58Oh, bang, bang, boom
15:01Third base
15:07Just stole a baseball player
15:09As a child
15:11I grew like a little acorn
15:14Yeah
15:14Now you're a real nut
15:17Waiter
15:21Why did you spill that milk on me?
15:23Because I ran out of chicken soup
15:26What should you do
15:30If you hear a mouse squeaking?
15:33Oil it
15:34Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
15:37Eating his Christmas pie
15:39He stuck in his thumb
15:40And pulled out a plumb
15:42And said
15:43I'm gonna let you in on something
15:45I can't talk at all
15:47The pie's a ventriloquist
15:49Brainy lecture
15:51Today's brainy lecture
15:53Will be on the subject of
15:54Ornithology
15:56What's that mean?
15:58It means it's about birds
15:59Birds
16:00Ornithology has to do with birds
16:03Isn't that a pretty word?
16:05Much better than bird
16:06We're taking over
16:08Today's tampouri
16:10Tomorrow
16:11The aviary
16:12Today we will study the habits
16:17Of the zilly zilly woo-wee bird
16:19The zilly zilly woo-wee bird
16:22Is found only in the most
16:23Humidless jungles of the vorp
16:25It is known for its strange habit
16:28Of flying in ever smaller circles
16:31At an ever increasing rate of speed
16:33This often causes his tail feathers
16:38To glow a blazing red
16:39Whereupon
16:41He plunges into the waters
16:43Of the Indian Ozark ocean
16:45And gives his cry
16:47Zilly zilly woo-wee
16:49Zilly zilly woo-wee
16:53Which freely translated into English means
16:56My
16:57But that feels grand
17:00End of brainy lecture
17:03And now
17:09The little father
17:11The elder Mr. Master
17:15Was a big and bulky man
17:17Before the queer event
17:18That I am telling you
17:19Began
17:19His only son
17:21Was Michael
17:22Then a little child of four
17:23But Michael
17:24Hasn't hardly any father
17:26Anymore
17:27It was little Michael Master
17:29Who detected
17:30First of all
17:31That his great enormous father
17:32Was becoming
17:33Then small
17:34Now I never knew the reason
17:36But I fancy that he shrank
17:38Because of all the mucilage
17:40That Mr. Master drank
17:41Every day at breakfast time
17:44When Michael tried his dad
17:45He found he measured
17:47Something less than yesterday he had
17:49And still he kept on growing small
17:51And smaller every night
17:53Till Michael and his father
17:55Were exactly of a height
17:56There was no Mrs. Master
17:59So the father and the son
18:00Got on together happily
18:02And had a lot of fun
18:03They wore each other's clothing
18:05And they used each other's toys
18:07They became as really intimate
18:09As if they both were boys
18:11But Mr. Master
18:13Would persist
18:14In his eccentric drinking
18:15So littler and littler
18:17Did Mr. Master shrink
18:18They had to cut his trousers down
18:20And soon they were afraid
18:22They'd have to send to Germany
18:23To have his Jagers made
18:25The people used to laugh at him
18:27When they went out to walk
18:29For Michael's tiny father
18:31Made an awful lot of talk
18:32The little children in the street
18:34They always used to cry
18:36I wouldn't have a father
18:37Who was only two foot high
18:39But Michael was obedient
18:41To all his father told
18:42For though his daddy dwindled
18:44He was 42 years old
18:46And so when Michael misbehaved
18:48And tried to bite or scratch
18:50His father climbed upon a chair
18:52And beat him
18:53With a match
18:54And many other anecdotes
18:57Do Michael's neighbors tell
18:58Of his midget Mr. Master
18:59And his giant son as well
19:01Of how he swam in saucers
19:03And of how he hunted flies
19:05How proud he got to be
19:07About his Lilliputian size
19:09Michael had to build a house
19:12To keep his father in
19:13A little paper house it was
19:15The walls were very thin
19:17And if the child desired
19:19To have the morning to himself
19:20He put his father
19:21With a lump of sugar
19:22On the shelf
19:23He had to walk across the page
19:26And back to read a book
19:27But he drank a drop of mucilage
19:29With every meal he took
19:31When I last inquired about him
19:34Everybody said
19:35That Michael used a microscope
19:37To put his father to bed
19:39We're out of spinach
19:42Why do you want spinach?
19:45I always eat spinach
19:46It puts color into my cheeks
19:49Eh, who needs green cheeks?
19:52That's enough
19:53No more restaurant jokes
19:57I warn you
19:59I do terrible things
20:02When I hear restaurant jokes
20:04Do you serve crabs here?
20:08We serve anyone
20:10What's your order?
20:12I warn you
20:15Crash, explosions, earthquakes
20:18Fires, floods, tidal waves
20:21Doggone these nets
20:24Oh no
20:26Son
20:27What have I done to you?
20:29Not nets
20:30Bats
20:31It was bats
20:32Bats
20:33Next week
20:36Eastlip
20:37Next week
20:41Flugal Street
20:42Did you hear about the guy
20:47Who was so confused
20:49He put ketchup on his shoelaces
20:51And tied his spaghetti?
20:52But seriously
20:54But seriously, folks
20:55Folks
20:56We're gonna pull you around and fill the room with blackbirds today
21:10Put on your rosy colored glasses and your smile
21:13Yeah, that's the way
21:16Because we're putting on the nonsense
21:19The funny stuff and nonsense
21:21The riddles, jokes and silly things
21:24It's all kumfoolery
21:25Oh yes
21:26We're putting on the nonsense
21:28The funny stuff and nonsense
21:30It's all kumfoolery
21:34With the enthusiastic outlets
21:37The fastidious fish
21:39The yardy-bondy bow
21:40The scroobious snake
21:42And the outrageous obrommel
21:44Come on
21:46We're putting on the nonsense
21:48The funny stuff and nonsense
21:50The noodles, jokes and silly things
21:53It's all kumfoolery
21:56It's all kumfoolery
21:58It's all kumfoolery
21:59It's all kumfoolery
22:00It's all kumfoolery
22:01It's all kumfoolery
22:03It's all kumfoolery
22:04It's all kumfoolery
22:05It's all kumfoolery
22:06It's all kumfoolery
22:07It's all kumfoolery
22:08It's all kumfoolery
22:09It's all kumfoolery
22:10It's all kumfoolery
22:11It's all kumfoolery
22:12It's all kumfoolery
22:13It's all kumfoolery
22:14It's all kumfoolery
22:15It's all kumfoolery
22:16It's all kumfoolery
22:17It's all kumfoolery
22:18It's all kumfoolery
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