Futurama is on Comedy Central!

Alejandro Garza

Watch Futurama is on Comedy Central! - Alejandro Garza on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00Futurama is brought to you by Molten Boron.

00:16Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron.

00:30I hate the planet of the Moochers.

00:54They take you out for a drink, but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their

00:57other pants.

00:58Which they borrowed from me.

01:01Dinner ready?

01:02Those lousy Moochers cleaned out our pantry.

01:04All they left was bacon, soda, and capers.

01:07And here it is.

01:09Great.

01:10We're two days from Earth with no food.

01:13Problem solved.

01:14You two fight to the death and I'll cook the loser.

01:16Work is good.

01:17I like it tender.

01:18Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru.

01:20A Burger Jerk or a Fishy Joe's or a Chisler or something.

01:23Don't get your hopes up.

01:24We're a billion miles from nowhere.

01:26Yeah, it's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.

01:30Well, it's a Type M planet, so it should at least have rotten berries.

01:37I'm experienced at foraging.

01:39I used to find edible mushrooms on my bath mat.

01:41I found some rocks.

01:42You guys eat rocks, right?

01:43No.

01:44Not even if they're sautéed in a little mud?

01:47Here's something.

01:48It looks like a ditch full of fried shrimp.

01:49What are you, blind?

01:50It looks more like a hole full of fried prawns.

01:53Hmm, this thing I wear on my wrist says they're not poisonous.

02:04Well, how are they?

02:10Oh, they're great.

02:13They're like sex, except I'm having them.

02:16You know what these would go great with?

02:18Rocks.

02:19Here's more.

02:20The planet's covered with them.

02:21Let's bring back a couple of pocketfuls.

02:23No, a whole benderful.

02:25No, only what we need.

02:26Stuff the ship.

02:34Planet Express ship, you are cleared to land.

02:36Brother!

02:37Oh, man, I'm inhaling these things.

02:45You guys got some primo stuff here.

02:49They're tastier than an unguarded penguin nest.

02:51What do you call them?

02:53We haven't thought of a name yet.

02:54Well, they're tasty, right?

02:55Let's call them tasticles.

02:57Oh, no.

02:58We can't call them that.

03:00Why not?

03:00It sounds too much like those frozen Rocky Mountain oysters on a stick.

03:04You know, test-sickles.

03:05According to government records, the only names not yet trademarked are Poplars and Zitzels.

03:11I know.

03:12We'll call them Poplars.

03:13Oh, why not?

03:14We sure picked it.

03:15Swish.

03:16Call them what you want.

03:18I call them a free meal.

03:20Oh, whoa, whoa.

03:22Slow down there, Sigmund.

03:23I can't stand idly by while poor people get free food.

03:26We gotta sell these things.

03:27Yeah.

03:28Good idea.

03:29Bender's a genius.

03:30Hey, business is great.

03:31Ah, great is okay.

03:32But amazing would be great.

03:33Please, don't push.

03:34There's hot dogs for everyone.

03:35Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?

03:37Wait a minute.

03:38You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings.

03:39What are you selling?

03:40Poplars?

03:41Never heard of them.

03:42Eat it or beat it.

03:43Mmm, these are great.

03:44Boys, this is your lucky day.

03:45I'm Joe Gilman.

03:46Wow, you're some guy who eats at Fishy Joe's?

03:48Help me.

03:49They're two bad ones.

03:50Look.

03:51I'm too bad.

03:52I'm too bad.

03:53But they're all right.

03:54I mean, they're all right.

03:56You're all right.

03:57I don't know.

03:58I'm too bad.

03:59They're all right.

04:00I don't know what else.

04:01I'm too bad.

04:02I don't know everything.

04:03Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?

04:05A little bit.

04:06I can't stop!

04:07I can't stop.

04:08Wait a minute.

04:09You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings.

04:11Bye.

04:12Fishy Joe's?

04:13Hell no!

04:14I am Fishy Joe.

04:15I've got a fast-food franchise on every planet in the known universe, except McPluto.

04:20Hey, Fishy, I've been meaning to write you about your in-store kiddie parks.

04:24The slides won't support an adult robot.

04:26Good point.

04:27Not interested.

04:28But these poplars, these are great.

04:29How much you sell them for?

04:30A dollar a dozen.

04:31You'll never make money that way.

04:33You supply them to me, and I'll sell them for two bucks a dozen at my restaurants.

04:37I'll even pay you a dollar a dozen.

04:39Yes!

04:40I'm gonna be rich!

04:41You too, but it's hard to get excited about that.

04:43How do we sign?

04:47Pop a poplar in your mouth when you come to Fishy Joe's.

04:50What they're made of is a mystery.

04:51Where they come from, no one knows.

04:52You can pick them, you can lick them, you can chew them.

04:54You can stick them if you promise not to sue us.

04:56You can shove one up your nose.

05:04I can't pay.

05:06Here!

05:07Welcome back here!

05:08I'm a wolf down half!

05:21Lila!

05:22That's the second billboard you crashed into this week.

05:24Sorry.

05:25I was distracted by those protestors outside our building.

05:38Hey, unless this is a nude-loving, get the hell off my property.

05:43You can't own property, man.

05:46I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.

05:49What do you people want?

05:51We're with Mankind for Ethical Animal Treatment.

05:54Poplars are living creatures.

05:56You've got to stop harvesting them for food.

05:59Or what?

06:00Or we'll boycott Fishy Joes.

06:02You're vegetarians. Who cares what you do?

06:05Shut up.

06:06Animals eat other animals. It's nature.

06:09No, it isn't. We taught a lion to eat tofu.

06:15The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain.

06:19Okay, we won't eat you.

06:21I'll go get some more bricks.

06:24Fry, I wish you'd throw out these weak old poplars.

06:27They're getting big and scaly.

06:29Ooh, there's one left.

06:31Mama.

06:32Mama.

06:38Stop. Stop eating poplars.

06:48My booze.

06:49Poplars are intelligent. This one called me Mama.

06:54Congratulations. I assume Amy is the father.

06:57Poplars can't talk. Leela must be hallucinating from not eating enough poplars. Here, eat some now.

07:03No.

07:03I said eat. Come on, mind you.

07:07Sorry, babies.

07:09Leela, maybe you should lie down.

07:10Yes, listen to the father.

07:12I'm telling you, it spoke to me. Come on, little poplar. Say Mama.

07:18Look, Leela, even if you heard one talk, that doesn't mean it's intelligent. I mean, parrots talk and we eat them, right?

07:24Yeah. Maybe you just learn to talk as a parlor trick. Like fry.

07:27Like fry. Like fry.

07:28There's one way, and only one way, to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain.

07:36No, Mama. Stop Grandpa.

07:40Enough chit-chat. Restrain the specimen.

07:42Stop eating poplars. They can talk.

07:57Don't stop to talk. Eat poplars.

08:00Hey, cut it out.

08:01Take a coupon. Cut it out.

08:03Ow. Ow. Ow.

08:10People, I won't let you enter.

08:12Poplars are as intelligent as you or me.

08:15You, maybe.

08:21Hear me, hear me.

08:23Stop eating poplars.

08:25Stop eating them with honey mustard sauce.

08:27Stop eating them with tangy sweet and sour sauce.

08:30Stop eating the new Fiesta poplar salad.

08:33Stop taking advantage of the money-saving 12-pack.

08:40Stop enjoying poplars on the patio.

08:42In the car or on the boat.

08:44Wherever good times are had.

08:46Tonight, on date night, poplars, eating them.

08:57Is it all right to?

08:58We have with us the CEO of Fishy Joe's, Mr. Fishy Joseph Gilman.

09:03Noted anti-eating activist, Free Waterfall Jr.

09:06And the discoverer of poplars, Captain Taronga Leela.

09:09Taronga?

09:10That's her name, Phillip.

09:12Phillip?

09:12Fishy Joe, is it wrong to eat intelligent animals?

09:16Absolutely not, Linda.

09:17I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.

09:19I am.

09:20Me too.

09:21Listen.

09:21Shut up.

09:22We're talking about a snack that's low in fat and high in profit.

09:25You're crazy, man.

09:27He is crazy.

09:28There's not even any strong evidence that these poplars are intelligent.

09:31Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

09:31That's not true.

09:32I have one right here that can talk.

09:35Shut up.

09:35Come on.

09:36Say mama.

09:36Caca.

09:37Okay, we'll have to bleep that.

09:39Look, I'm not saying eating meat is wrong.

09:41Shut up.

09:41I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.

09:44I am.

09:44But eating an intelligent animal is different.

09:47Oh, don't force your tired philosophy on us.

09:51I mean, the only reason we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy.

09:54You're all nuts.

09:55Shut up.

09:56Let me talk.

09:57You shut up, please.

09:58No, you shut up, please.

09:59Pop.

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