Futurama is on Comedy Central!

Alejandro Garza

Watch Futurama is on Comedy Central! - Alejandro Garza on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00Futurama is brought to you by Molten Boron.

00:16Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron.

00:30I hate the planet of the Moochers.

00:54They take you out for a drink, but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their

00:57other pants.

00:58Which they borrowed from me.

01:01Dinner ready?

01:02Those lousy Moochers cleaned out our pantry.

01:04All they left was bacon, soda, and capers.

01:07And here it is.

01:09Great.

01:10We're two days from Earth with no food.

01:13Problem solved.

01:14You two fight to the death and I'll cook the loser.

01:16Work is good.

01:17I like it tender.

01:18Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru.

01:20A Burger Jerk or a Fishy Joe's or a Chisler or something.

01:23Don't get your hopes up.

01:24We're a billion miles from nowhere.

01:26Yeah, it's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.

01:30Well, it's a Type M planet, so it should at least have rotten berries.

01:37I'm experienced at foraging.

01:39I used to find edible mushrooms on my bath mat.

01:41I found some rocks.

01:42You guys eat rocks, right?

01:43No.

01:44Not even if they're sautéed in a little mud?

01:47Here's something.

01:48It looks like a ditch full of fried shrimp.

01:49What are you, blind?

01:50It looks more like a hole full of fried prawns.

01:53Hmm, this thing I wear on my wrist says they're not poisonous.

02:04Well, how are they?

02:10Oh, they're great.

02:13They're like sex, except I'm having them.

02:16You know what these would go great with?

02:18Rocks.

02:19Here's more.

02:20The planet's covered with them.

02:21Let's bring back a couple of pocketfuls.

02:23No, a whole benderful.

02:25No, only what we need.

02:26Stuff the ship.

02:34Planet Express ship, you are cleared to land.

02:36Brother!

02:37Oh, man, I'm inhaling these things.

02:45You guys got some primo stuff here.

02:49They're tastier than an unguarded penguin nest.

02:51What do you call them?

02:53We haven't thought of a name yet.

02:54Well, they're tasty, right?

02:55Let's call them tasticles.

02:57Oh, no.

02:58We can't call them that.

03:00Why not?

03:00It sounds too much like those frozen Rocky Mountain oysters on a stick.

03:04You know, test-sickles.

03:05According to government records, the only names not yet trademarked are Poplars and Zitzels.

03:11I know.

03:12We'll call them Poplars.

03:13Oh, why not?

03:14We sure picked it.

03:15Swish.

03:16Call them what you want.

03:18I call them a free meal.

03:20Oh, whoa, whoa.

03:22Slow down there, Sigmund.

03:23I can't stand idly by while poor people get free food.

03:26We gotta sell these things.

03:27Yeah.

03:28Good idea.

03:29Bender's a genius.

03:30Hey, business is great.

03:31Ah, great is okay.

03:32But amazing would be great.

03:33Please, don't push.

03:34There's hot dogs for everyone.

03:35Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?

03:37Wait a minute.

03:38You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings.

03:39What are you selling?

03:40Poplars?

03:41Never heard of them.

03:42Eat it or beat it.

03:43These are great.

03:44Boys, this is your lucky day.

03:45I'm Joe Gilman.

03:46Wow, you're some guy who eats at Fishy Joe's?

03:48Hell yeah.

03:49Is he enough?

03:50Oh, he's an idiot.

03:51I'm no.

03:52He's an idiot.

03:53I'm an idiot.

03:54I'm an idiot.

03:55I'm a creepier, man.

03:56I'll get some anti-move, man.

03:57I'm a bad guy.

03:58Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?

04:01Oh, aw, aw, aw.

04:02Wait a minute.

04:03You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings.

04:06What are you selling?

04:07Poplars?

04:08Never heard of them.

04:09Eat it or beat it.

04:10These are great!

04:11some guy who eats at fishy joe's hell no i am fishy joe i've got a fast food franchise on every

04:18planet in the known universe except mcpluto hey fishy i've been meaning to write you about your

04:23in-store kitty parks the slides won't support an adult robot good point not interested but these

04:29poplars these are great how much you sell them for a dollar a dozen you'll never make money that way

04:33you supply them to me and i'll sell them for two bucks a dozen at my restaurants i'll even pay you

04:39a dollar a dozen yes i'm gonna be rich you too but it's hard to get excited about that how do we sign

04:44pop a poplar in your mouth when you come to fishy joe's what they're made of is a mystery where

04:52they come from no one knows you can pick them you can lick them you can chew them you can stick them

04:55if you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose i can't pay

05:06what do you want right here welcome here

05:09leela that's the second billboard you crashed into this week sorry i was distracted by those

05:27protesters outside our building

05:28hey unless this is a nude love-in get the hell off my property you can't own property man i can

05:47but that's because i'm not a penniless hippie what do you people want we're with mankind for ethical

05:53animal treatment poplars are living creatures you gotta stop harvesting them for food or what

05:59or will boycott fishy joe's you're vegetarians who cares what you do shut up animals eat other

06:07animals it's nature no it isn't we taught a lion to eat tofu

06:12the point is you shouldn't eat things that feel pain okay we won't eat you i'll go get some more

06:22bricks fry i wish you'd throw out these weak old poplars they're getting big and scaly oh there's one

06:30who's left

06:42stop stop eating poplars

06:48my booze poplars are intelligent this one called me mama congratulations i assume amy is the father

06:56poplars can't talk leela must be hallucinating from not eating enough poplars here eat some now no i said

07:04eat come on mind you oh sorry babies leela maybe you should lie down yes listen to the father i'm

07:13telling you it spoke to me come on little poplar say mama oh look leela even if you heard one talk

07:20that doesn't mean it's intelligent i mean parrots talk and we eat them right yeah maybe you just learn

07:25to talk as a parlor trick like fry like fry like fry there's one way and only one way to determine

07:32if an animal is intelligent dissect its brain no mama stop grandpa enough chit chat restrain the specimen

07:51stop eating poplars they can talk don't stop to talk eat poplars hey cut it out take a coupon cut it out

08:10people i won't let you enter poplars are as intelligent as you or me you maybe

08:21hear me hear me stop eating poplars stop eating them with honey mustard sauce stop eating them with

08:28tangy sweet and sour sauce stop eating the new fiesta poplar salad stop taking advantage of the

08:34money-saving 12-pack stop enjoying poplars on the patio in the car or on the boat wherever good times

08:46your head tonight on date night poplars eating them is it all right too we have with us the ceo of

09:00fishy joe's mr fishy joseph gilman noted anti-eating activist free waterfall jr and the discoverer of

09:07poplars captain taronga leela taronga that's her name philip philip fishy joe is it wrong to eat

09:14intelligent animals absolutely not linda i don't think anyone's here to make that claim i am me too

09:21listen we're talking about a snack that's low in fat and high in profit you're crazy man he is crazy

09:28there's not even any strong evidence that these poplars are intelligent that's not true i have

09:33one right here that can talk shut up come on say mama okay we'll have to bleep that look i'm not saying

09:40eating meat is wrong i don't think anyone's here to make that claim i am but eating an intelligent

09:46animal is different oh don't force your tired philosophy on us i mean the only reason we don't

09:52eat people is because it tastes lousy you're all nuts shut up let me talk you shut up please no you shut

09:59up please pop

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