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  • 2 weeks ago

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00:01It's bad enough coming back here.
00:04Staying with my mum but my head's just not in the right place to go back to the flat.
00:08At our flat.
00:11And then the police turned up first thing this morning, got my mum out of bed.
00:14What, they found John?
00:15No, I just had his van full of
00:19all the stuff from the cottage and they didn't know what to do with it.
00:23And you just thrown a match to the lot?
00:27Stood there and watched it burn.
00:30I thought it might help somehow but
00:34you can't burn memories, can you?
00:36So now I know I'll
00:38I'll never be rid of him.
00:40Or forget him.
00:42Hey.
00:43Come on.
00:47How can you even stand having me here?
00:49After everything.
00:52All you've tried to do is help me and I've just
00:55just pushed you away.
01:00I still care about you.
01:08A lot.
01:12I am sorry you know that, don't you?
01:16All that matters now is us.
01:20We got through it.
01:22We're okay.
01:23No, no.
01:24Not now.
01:29Not now.
01:33Not like this.
01:38You're the one who's chased me since you got out of prison
01:40and now all of a sudden you're not interested.
01:41Trust me, I've never wanted you more.
01:43So what's the problem?
01:44Do you even have to ask?
01:46I'm not doing this.
01:47Look, I've never stopped wanting you, you know that.
01:51But not like this.
01:54You're rebounding, you're vulnerable, you're all over the place.
01:58Well, you get taught that in a group therapy session in prison, did you?
02:02Look, what you've just been through, it's massive, it's life-changing.
02:06The trauma, it's not even really sunk in yet.
02:09And when it does, it's going to hit you like a train.
02:12Us, me and you, kicking off again, it's the last thing you need.
02:16So that's your excuse?
02:18It's the truth.
02:21You're the strongest person I know, Aaron, but Chas was right.
02:25It's all too raw right now.
02:28The best thing I can do right now is keep my distance.
02:31My mum said that to you?
02:33You know, I mean a big advertisement.
02:36So that's a no, even before you've properly thought about it?
02:39No, I am not dismissing what you've just said.
02:41Well, you haven't given me a single bit of positive feedback even after all the work I've done.
02:45Come here.
02:47I know what this is.
02:52The problem with trying to distract yourself from life with work is that when the work stops, life's still there.
03:00Yeah, I know.
03:01I know, and I know it's not about food trucks or alpacas or ponies.
03:07It's just, I needed to keep my mind busy so I wouldn't think about how I missed every single sign that John was who he was.
03:16Well, we all did. Believe me. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
03:22Right you, come on. You sit down, I will make us that brew.
03:26Then you are going home. You and Robert can start back in a couple of days.
03:30Clean slate and we'll just take it one day at a time, alright?
03:34Graham Connelly's trial.
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