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This Hour Has 22 Minutes Season 33 Episode 2
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00:00Tonight on 22 Minutes, Kearney and Polly Ev are out to lunch,
00:03Chrystia Freeland breaks free, we try to fix bread price fixing,
00:07and King Charles reflects on a visit from Trump.
00:1022 Minutes starts now!
00:12Gakka! Gakka! Make them pay! Make them bleed! Gakka!
00:31Silence! We have gathered for the annual Punish the Rich Day,
00:37where the elites who act above the law
00:40pay the ultimate price for their transgressions!
00:43Aye! I want blood!
00:45I want blood too!
00:46Judgment will be swift and public!
00:49Shame!
00:50Grocer! Come forward!
00:54You stand convicted of price fixing most foul!
00:58He made me much and cost more!
01:00Put out your hands and taste justice!
01:10Now ice that down and get back to it!
01:15Was that it?
01:17Was that the justice?
01:19For price fixing most foul!
01:21He won't do it again, right?
01:23All good!
01:28You! Telecommunications provider!
01:31Ho ho! He'll get it!
01:34I think he will!
01:35Otherwise, why are we here?!
01:38To non-competition which has starved this nation
01:41of affordable Canada-wide talk and text!
01:44I can't speak to me, Mum!
01:46Bleed the bastard!
01:48On your knees!
01:55Stop it!
01:57No!
01:58No!
01:59No!
02:00Bad!
02:01Bad phone man!
02:02Um...
02:03Do you mind going a bit harder?
02:05It doesn't seem proportioned to the crime!
02:07Noted!
02:08Your cries have been heard!
02:09And will be considered for the upcoming guy!
02:12Bring me the tech mogul!
02:14Get him!
02:15I'll get him!
02:17For the illicit sale of everyone's personal data most foul!
02:22You will be made an example of!
02:25I took me sin number!
02:27And, based on community feedback,
02:29I will leave his fate up to you!
02:32Will he get the axe or the pool noodle?
02:39The axe!
02:40Dear God, the axe!
02:41Yeah, it's the axe!
02:42That's the only answer!
02:43Axe!
02:44Axe!
02:45Axe!
02:46Axe!
02:47I'm hearing a lot of pool noodle!
02:48No, you didn't!
02:49Don't say pool noodle!
02:50You had said pool noodle!
02:51You didn't say pool noodle!
02:52This man shall be noodle!
02:54Are you sure?
02:55Because I'm a very corrupt man!
02:57Brace yourself!
03:00Yeah!
03:01Yeah!
03:02Huh?
03:03They never get what's common to him!
03:06Forty lashes!
03:08Oh, tough but fair, sir!
03:10Welcome to the show!
03:17It was a big, big week in Ottawa!
03:19Mark Carney and Pierre Polyev met in Parliament for the first time!
03:23Canada's media hyped it up as the most epic clash since Pierre versus Apple!
03:28Tonight, Mark Carney and Pierre Polyev face off for the first time in Parliament!
03:34Prime Minister Mark Carney will square off!
03:36Mark Carney and Pierre Polyev go toe to toe today!
03:38The first showdown between Conservative leader Pierre Polyev and Prime Minister Mark Carney!
03:43Yes, it was a regular Thrilla in Vanilla!
03:48Okay, I'm hyped up!
03:50I'm ready!
03:51Show us the bloodbath!
03:52And if there are children present, shield their eyes!
03:55I thank the Prime Minister for calling a prompt by-election!
03:59Yeah!
04:00Get him?
04:02That was so polite!
04:03Where's the Pierre we all know and loathe?
04:06I wonder if one day he might regret that decision?
04:10There he is!
04:12Carney's first reply was a real stumble in the jungle!
04:16Mr. Speaker, I understand the minister, er, the, uh...
04:20Minister! Promotion!
04:23Come on over, yeah!
04:26Minister, it's actually pronounced sinister!
04:31Carney was out on his feet!
04:33He even revealed a surprising detail about his relationship with Trump!
04:37Mr. Speaker, the U.S. President is a modern man!
04:43I speak with him regularly!
04:47We've heard Trump speak! There's nothing regularly about it!
04:52Eventually, the hype died down and the good, honest work of government could begin once more!
04:58We've implemented a hundred-day plan to improve service and access and eliminate...
05:08Go to show the more things change, the more they stay the shame!
05:15James! James! James! James!
05:18This lunch line's huge!
05:20Oh, God, the new guy!
05:22Uh-oh!
05:24Hi!
05:26Oh, yeah, sure!
05:28Just budge right in front, elbows up!
05:30Yep, gotcha!
05:32So, what do you think they're serving?
05:34I hope it's the ribs!
05:36They, uh, they nail the ribs!
05:38Oh, it's actually...
05:39Don't tell me! You'll ruin the surprise!
05:41No, it'll ruin the surprise!
05:43Oh, well...
05:46So you talk to people that way, too?
05:48Only if they're beneath me.
05:50You know, I'm surprised you're hungry after I fed you your lunch in question period.
05:56Well, what's that?
05:57I can't hear you all the way from Alberta, the province, where your new seat is.
06:02Probably a faster way to say that, but...
06:05Touche!
06:06What's that word?
06:08Never mind.
06:10So, you're watching anything?
06:12Uh, yes, in fact.
06:14I'm watching Canada crumble under your reign.
06:17I'm doing The Pit.
06:19Oh!
06:20Not a CBC show.
06:21No.
06:22Yeah.
06:23Very good.
06:24Believe me, I tried...
06:25God, tell me about it.
06:26Oh, it's vegetarian.
06:28At least it'll be easier to digest than your budget.
06:30At least I get to make one.
06:32Oh, an immediate comeback.
06:34Bravo.
06:35What's that word?
06:36Do you not know any languages, or...?
06:38What are you having?
06:39It should be a surprise!
06:41How about vegetable lasagna?
06:44Pasta for lunch.
06:45Well, between this food and your voice, I'll be asleep by 2pm.
06:50Unlike your voice, which keeps men, women, and dogs up all night terrified.
06:55How did you get so mean?
06:57The British.
06:58Oh.
06:59Makes sense to me.
07:00Well, Mr. Prime Minister, it was actually nice standing in line with you.
07:06Should we sup together?
07:11I would like that.
07:13Oh.
07:14No seats.
07:15I've got this.
07:16You!
07:17Out of your seat!
07:18You!
07:19Give up your seat!
07:20Go!
07:21Go!
07:22Yes, yes.
07:23Bond, but...
07:24So you do know French?
07:25That was French?
07:27This week, experts in Quebec reported it's too easy for their youth to take part in online
07:34gambling.
07:35They said they're concerned it's getting in the way of the children's wine and cigarettes.
07:39Canadian Tire and Tim Hortons announced they're merging their loyalty programs.
07:44Plus, with every cup of coffee, you'll get a free lube job for your undercarriage.
07:50This week, Transport Minister Chrystia Freeland announced she's leaving Cabinet to become
07:55Canada's envoy to Ukraine.
07:57And Pierre Polyev said, bon voyage.
07:59She's probably trying to get out of town and as far away as possible before this disastrous
08:04November budget comes, and I don't blame her.
08:07Or, she's so sick of you, she'd rather be in Ukraine.
08:14Hi, Canada.
08:16It's me, Chrystia Freeland.
08:18It is with profound regret that I announce I'm leaving Cabinet and will not run in the
08:23next federal election.
08:25Unless you want me to stay.
08:27Just kidding.
08:29Serving Canada has been the great horror, sorry, I mean honor of my life.
08:35But that time is over.
08:37No, don't leave, Chrystia!
08:39Did anyone else hear that?
08:41You didn't hear it?
08:43Okay, it must be in my head.
08:46Under the Kearney government, I have felt so demoted.
08:50And I'm not the kind of person to let that happen.
08:53Twice.
08:54So, it's time to move on.
08:56Or not.
08:57Speak now or forever hold your peace.
09:00Any noise will do.
09:04Okay.
09:05Last chance.
09:06Last chance.
09:07Because I'll be gone.
09:08And it won't be like the last time.
09:10Okay, because you know, this resignation letter is just a piece of paper.
09:15I can rip it up.
09:16There's more where that came from.
09:20So, does anyone want me to rip it more?
09:25No?
09:27Okay.
09:28Um...
09:31Canada.
09:32In the words of Winston Churchill, never flinch, never worry, and never despair.
09:37And in the words of Chrystia, I'm leaving now.
09:42Goodbye.
09:43Goodbye.
09:47Did someone say something?
09:49Any of you?
09:59The Trump administration has a full plate these days between deporting migrants and hounding
10:04jimmies.
10:06But don't worry.
10:07They haven't forgotten about little old Canada.
10:09Kash Patel, seen here swallowing a bug, told Congress that he's got his googly eyes on
10:15us.
10:16But unfortunately, there has been a sharp increase of known or suspected terrorists entering
10:20through our northern border.
10:22Be warned, Canadian terrorists.
10:23If Kash Patel is on the case, you're gonna be fine.
10:28Also this week, U.S. ambassador and loose grape that fell under the couch, Pete Hoekstra,
10:34said he's not mad at Canada.
10:37He's disappointed.
10:38It is very, very difficult to find Canadians who are passionate about the American-Canadian
10:47relationship.
10:48Listen, Humpty Dumpty.
10:49Clearly, you've had a great fall.
10:55But Canadians are passionate.
10:57We want to screw you as much as you want to screw us.
11:00My Commonwealth subjects, I address you tonight as your sovereign to announce that after a
11:07state visit, President Trump has gone home.
11:10It's safe to come out now.
11:13Our national nightmare is over.
11:17We opened up every window in Windsor Castle, but alas, the place still smells like a mix
11:23between armpits and garbage can juice.
11:27Our staff is working tirelessly to clean the carpets and upholstery.
11:31My valet informs me that the maids have not seen stains like this since the house was last
11:36infested with my late mother's incontinent corgis.
11:39By now, you've seen video of the state dinner.
11:44I'll tell you that I just stood in line and shook about 150 hands.
11:49And the king knew every single person and every single company.
11:54And some of them had bad names like XYZ-Q3.
12:00And he knew every one of them.
12:02Yes, I knew their names because it's my house.
12:05And the names aren't that difficult to learn.
12:08It's not pronounced XYZ-Q3.
12:10It's pronounced Camilla.
12:12And yes, one shook many hands, but only one left my hand orange.
12:19All the king's horses and all the king's men can't get my hand not orange again.
12:32For dinner, we dined our Norfolk Free Range chicken in zucchini coats, Spanish beans,
12:39spiced pumpkin with toasted seeds and fondant potatoes.
12:42The president, however, has dietary restrictions and required a special plate.
12:48A KFC mega meal, original recipe, no picking stuff and keep the diet cokes a coming.
12:55After we ate, there were speeches.
12:58It's a singular privilege to be the first American president welcomed here.
13:03And the, if you think about it, it's a lot of presidents.
13:08And this was the second state visit.
13:11And that's the first.
13:14And maybe that's going to be the last time.
13:17I hope it is, actually.
13:20Oh, it'll be the last, believe me.
13:23It was rude to correct him in the moment, but the president was not actually the first welcomed here.
13:28He was slightly off.
13:29We also hosted Joe Biden, Barack Obama, the second Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Nixon, Eisenhower, and Woodrow Wilson in 1918.
13:36But it is the first time we had to throw out a couch.
13:39But I was looking forward to the visit.
13:45I was hoping that when he left, the president would take Prince Andrew with him.
13:49But apparently they only fly together on Epstein's jet.
13:53This is a difficult time for my kingdom.
13:55Hundreds of thousands of Britons, egged on by Trump's friend Elon Musk, held an anti-migrant rally.
14:01Normally, I disagree with everything they stand for.
14:05But in this case I say,
14:07Americans go home!
14:09Get out and stay out!
14:10No more Yankees!
14:12In a conference, Prime Minister Mark Carney stated Mexican gangs are operating in Canada.
14:33And unfortunately, vice versa.
14:37Jerry of Ben & Jerry's has quit because he says the company is stifling his political
14:42speech.
14:43In a related story, try their new flavor.
14:45Ben's chocolate chip cookie.
14:46Don't criticize the president.
14:51I'm Alana Riach, and I love bread.
14:54And bread has been in the news a lot lately.
14:56If you bought bread in Canada in the last 20 years, you might be entitled to getting some money back.
15:01I'm listening.
15:02A judge in Ontario approved a half-billion dollar settlement in a long-running bread price-fixing case.
15:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:11How do I get my money?
15:12I went to a lawyer.
15:13Our show's lawyer, Rob Ask, who's on retainer.
15:16So he has to talk to me.
15:18And he is very handsome.
15:21Come on in.
15:22Okay.
15:23What is price-fixing and why is it illegal?
15:26Price-fixing is competitors who should be competing in the marketplace, calling each other up and deciding to keep their prices up.
15:32And are you single?
15:33Am I single?
15:34No.
15:35Okay.
15:36And so does your girlfriend or your wife, do they eat bread?
15:43They do.
15:44I make my own sourdough, in fact.
15:46Oh, my God.
15:47Oh, my God.
15:48The stocking is pretty complicated.
15:50You know what this means?
15:52Well, it's the terms of settlement, so it would be...
15:54And in here, what you just said.
16:09So I just walk into Loblaws and get my money?
16:11No, you have to go online and fill out a form.
16:15Ugh.
16:19I hate forms.
16:21Elena.
16:23Current address?
16:24Oh.
16:25I know that, too.
16:33You will receive a maximum of $25.
16:35$25?
16:36That's like two more baguettes.
16:38Okay.
16:39That's it.
16:40That was so easy.
16:41I have to tell the others.
16:42We should all be getting our bread money.
16:44Well, I decided to take this to the streets.
16:47Yeah.
16:48And stick it to the man.
16:49Excuse me.
16:50Hi.
16:51Have you eaten bread?
16:52Have you bought bread in the last 20 years?
16:53Do you know that you are eligible for money?
16:56For a 20-year span, they were price-fixing our bread above what it's worth.
17:01I feel like they probably did that on a lot more than bread, maybe.
17:04Oh.
17:05So would you be willing to fill out a form today to get your money?
17:08Definitely.
17:09All you have to do is fill out this form.
17:11You have to confirm that you're a person first.
17:13And what are you going to buy with your $25?
17:14You have to get a sourdough starter.
17:16Oh!
17:17Produce my own, who knows?
17:18Not only are we getting our money, we're becoming self-sufficient.
17:21Do you have any words for Loblaws?
17:24Probably too profane to say.
17:27Oh, we're signing the form.
17:29This is the moment.
17:31And submit.
17:32Yes!
17:33We did it!
17:34Yes!
17:35At the end of the day, the settlement amount might not be much per person, but if it teaches
17:40them a lesson, I'll take those crumbs.
17:42A new study shows chimpanzees consume the equivalent of two cocktails a day in fermented fruit.
17:57You can learn more in the new book, Curious George, Drunk Texas X.
18:02File sharing service LimeWire has officially acquired Fyre Festival.
18:06They've already booked 99% in the lineup, but that last 1% is taking forever!
18:12Jimmy Kimmel is a lot of things to a lot of people, but perhaps most importantly, he
18:18is an honorary Newfoundlander.
18:20Moments from now, I will find out if I will be named the first ever mayor of a small town
18:25in Newfoundland, a town known as Dildo, and now the citizens of Dildo will have their own
18:31sign, too, because we have erected this Hollywood-style Dildo sign.
18:37And for a while, it looked like Jimmy was going to be just another unemployed Newfoundlander.
18:44ABC pulling Jimmy Kimmel's show off the air after comments he made about Charlie Kirk's
18:49reaction in what he said was the reaction in MAGA World in the wake of Charlie Kirk's killing.
18:57What he, MAGA, um, I, uh, what I, um, uh, even Anderson Cooper's afraid of getting cancelled.
19:03The chair of the U.S. media regulator, the FCC, who was appointed by Trump, went on a podcast
19:09to threaten the licenses of broadcasters who air Kimmel.
19:12And they have a license granted by us at the FCC, and that comes with it an obligation
19:18to operate in the public interest.
19:20I mean, look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
19:23Yes, networks need to take action when hosts cross a line.
19:27From the same week, here's Fox News host Brian Kilmeade calling for homeless people to be executed.
19:33Either you take the resources that we're gonna give you, and, or, you decide that you're gonna be locked up in jail.
19:39That's the way it has to be now.
19:40Or, uh, involuntary lethal injection.
19:42Yep.
19:43Or something, uh, just kill him.
19:44He wasn't fired.
19:45No angry tweet from Trump.
19:46Fox and friends wasn't pulled off the air.
19:48Kimmel, Colbert, it's a dangerous time to be a 50-plus guy in a suit who makes fun of Trump for a living.
19:54Good day.
19:57Donald Trump was hoping to replace Jimmy with someone who came highly recommended.
20:01Many on the right are saying Kimmel's removal was not personal.
20:09And on his social media platform, Truth Social, Trump posted,
20:13Great News for America, the ratings challenge Jimmy Kimmel's show is canceled.
20:18Kimmel has zero talent and wish ratings of even Colbert if that's possible.
20:21And that leaves Jimmy and Seth two total losers on Fake News NBC.
20:25The ratings are also horrible due at NBC.
20:28So totally not personal at all.
20:30Trump vowed retribution on the campaign trail.
20:33And he's getting it.
20:34He's getting it against entertainers and comedians.
20:37Disney owns the show, and after fans pushed back, Trump's close pal and possible fellow Epstein listener, Mickey Mouse, blinked.
20:45But Trump had made his point.
20:47Free speech is free, but like a free trial, it can be limited.
20:50You don't get all the features for free.
20:52The people with the louder microphones get heard more.
20:55And it seems Mr. Trump believes if you really want to be heard, you need to own the microphone.
21:00Because then if you don't like what you hear, you can just turn it off.
21:04But it seems there are some things you just can't buy.
21:07Have a good show, Jimmy.
21:12That's the way we saw the world this week.
21:14Keep it right here on CBC, a network Donald Trump can't touch.
21:17Good night!
21:18Good night!
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