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Into The Void- Life, Death & Heavy Metal
Into The Void- Life, Death & Heavy Metal (2025) S01E08
Into The Void- Life, Death & Heavy Metal (2025) Season 1 Episode 8
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00:01That's what it was all about.
00:03Energy.
00:04Energy, aggression, power.
00:07To sum it up, it's a vulgar display of power is what our shows are about.
00:13Pantera was like a machine.
00:15Just an unstoppable wrecking ball of sheer power.
00:21As a band, we were good.
00:24But it was Dom's guitar playing that blew everybody's minds.
00:29He was pushing the limits of what he could get out of the guitar.
00:33When he would be crushing the guitar, it was just his personality.
00:37That's what comes through.
00:39He's always that spark plug.
00:41He gave every bit of himself to every fan that he could.
00:45It was family. It was a bond. It was like blood, you know?
00:49It's real shit.
00:50Pantera was one of those things where I just thought would never stop.
00:55I'm alone with you, emergency.
00:5750 hours, and we have a shooting inside. Somebody came out with a gun to start shooting.
01:01This is another Fox News alert.
01:03Real-life horror playing out at an Ohio nightclub.
01:06There were people running everywhere. Just chaos.
01:09The motive at this point did appear that he was targeting the band.
01:13How could a fan turn on him? How could that even be possible?
01:17You think all of these things could have seen this coming, but I just, I needed to know.
01:23I needed to understand.
01:24Police are now investigating if the gunman targeted Abbott for breaking up the band Pantera.
01:29He had notebook after notebook writing how he was going to kill Pantera.
01:35When you are grieving, you need someone to blame to cope.
01:39And Phillip was that person. And that was out of anger.
01:43He has pinned the guilt on the wrong guy.
01:47I was the villain, and it makes people take sides.
01:50It was just a communication breakdown.
01:52It just kept growing into something else.
01:55We were just letting that riff get bigger and bigger.
01:59And it never should happen, because I know how much those guys love each other.
02:03There's the old saying, when you're in a band, it's like a marriage.
02:08The more honesty you get bring to the table, the better.
02:14When you don't do it, then you're looking at the Pantera story.
02:19Well, it's not pretty.
02:45Four US heavy metal bands helped rock Moscow at a concert celebrating the
02:49victory of democracy in the Soviet Union.
02:51Get offered to go to Moscow, play with Metallica, ACDC.
02:54And we just go, we gotta do it.
02:56He hasn't hit you yet. You're opening up for a million people.
02:59I can't wait.
03:00It was just people as far as you could see.
03:04You talk about terrifying, like there's nothing like that feeling.
03:08And that feeling cannot be bottled.
03:11You know, we've been on stage before, but nothing like the enormity of that.
03:16We just wanted to keep things pure heavy metal.
03:19And at that time, we were a damn good band, man.
03:24This is called domination!
03:29If you loved that kind of music, you couldn't help but move.
03:32I mean, it moved you inside and out.
03:35Fuckin' air!
03:36It just came up and grabbed you by the nutsack and just squeezed you.
03:44Like the great musicians, it's not so much you hear them, but you feel them.
03:48Dime was just a force.
03:50Some nights he'd come up to me and he'd go, I'm gonna do some improvising tonight and do some Randy Rowe shit.
03:59And he would just nail it.
04:05Anything I do, I like to fuckin' just go with it, man.
04:09I mean, to really feel something and to fuckin' hammer something means a hell of a lot more than 20 million notes.
04:18He was in control of his instrument in a way I could only equate to like Eddie Van Halen or something like that.
04:23He was like an alien creature on the guitar.
04:26It's more intimate to me to play the guitar from the heart.
04:30It's not like something you can try to earn either, you know?
04:33Either you got that or you don't.
04:48Sometimes it's hard to not let yourself get stuck and frozen in the past.
04:53We both were only 38 when he was taken.
04:57We met when we were around eight years old.
05:01We shared our love of Kiss.
05:03That was our first concert together.
05:06We still had a lot of time together, so I have to be grateful for that.
05:10And remind myself not to get angry or mad.
05:13He was my best friend.
05:17I've had 20 years to think about a lot of things,
05:20and I just hope that he knows I understand how hard he worked.
05:25To be who he was.
05:28And I don't want anyone to forget that.
05:34I went to the same junior high that Daryl did.
05:36He was already pretty much a legend here in Arlington, Texas.
05:40He'd won like several guitar contests.
05:43They said, you can't play in these anymore.
05:46You've already won like three or four of them.
05:49I went to turn in the tape again, and they said, look, man, just be a judge, dude.
05:53You already won everything you can win.
05:54Give somebody else a shot at it.
05:56Daryl, he didn't know theory.
05:58He didn't know how to read music.
05:59He was just natural, I guess.
06:01The only dude that really taught me anything was my dad.
06:06And he plays anything from rock to country, and he's always cutting his own tunes.
06:10Dude, he just blows me away.
06:12And then his brother, Vinny, was a really killer drummer.
06:15I've never jammed with another drummer.
06:17Me and him are, like, attached.
06:19I mean, we're just one chunk, man.
06:21Big Paul from Pantera.
06:22Skin bastard, bash!
06:24Them two together, that plan was in place.
06:27Hey, I'm Daryl X, lead guitars.
06:30And that plan was, we're going to be the Van Halen brothers.
06:32This is when they had first got the name Pantera.
06:36And when they asked me to join the band, of course I said, yeah.
06:39This is Rex Rocker from Pantera.
06:41If you like it hot and heavy, we got it.
06:43Vinny and Daryl, their dad was kind of managing us on the side.
06:47We put out three records and got a little bit of claim at home.
06:53Back then, everyone was blown away with Pantera.
06:57Plus the guitar player was a badass.
07:00A little bit later, we learned that their singer had left the band.
07:04We want you to know that we're going to be here tomorrow night.
07:06They went through replacement singers trying to keep their momentum.
07:10I was in a local band in New Orleans,
07:14and my guitar player who turned me on to the band was like, oh, shit.
07:19We pulled up to this tiny little studio.
07:23I don't think I had said a full sentence.
07:26Dimebag just started playing a song.
07:29I just immediately started singing with him.
07:32You know, that's magic.
07:33I mean, you don't even need to speak.
07:36Let the music do the talking.
07:38Phillip brought a lot of swagger and a thing called groove.
07:45And when you put him and Daryl together, it was chemistry like no other.
07:49It was hot, you know?
07:52It was funny, too, the playfulness between Phillip and Daryl.
07:59My official first love song from him.
08:04He comes out on stage.
08:05It's Valentine's Day.
08:06And he goes, this is the only love song I wrote for my chick.
08:08And he actually said it out loud to everyone.
08:11And I'm like, oh, my God.
08:18You know, I was horrified.
08:20But at the same time, I was like, kick ass.
08:23Yeah, it was laughable.
08:28But does Pussy Tight not have a ripping riff now?
08:37It was noticeable that this was indeed a heavier direction than the previous records.
08:44And he saw it clearly.
08:46It was focusing what he was so good at, goddammit, you know?
08:51They lost the singer that wanted to do the commercial thing.
08:56We wanted to get heavier.
08:58We got heavier.
08:59That's right.
09:00I remember when Don Bag wrote the riff to Cowboy Smell.
09:08It was crushing.
09:09It was a crushing sound.
09:11It felt like it had already clicked for us before we even wrote the record.
09:18Man, the first time I heard Cowboys, I was like, what the fuck is that?
09:21You see us coming and you're all together.
09:25That song gave us the catalyst to get over the home.
09:28We just need to get on a label so it'll get us in front of people.
09:31And then it happened when no one was looking.
09:35And we were playing this little drinky-dink place that was rented out for a birthday party.
09:40It was the gig they got signed at.
09:46We were just drunk at a bar one night.
09:48Dime, he says to me, one day kids are gonna know your voice and they're gonna love you, man.
09:53I'm just like, no, man.
09:56You're dreaming.
09:58But he believed it, man.
10:00It was weird.
10:01It all came together pretty fast.
10:03Ain't I cute?
10:04Next thing you know, they're gonna go out on a tour and they rent a Winnebago and tear the shit out of that thing.
10:13They toured that whole year busting their ass to get people to know who they were.
10:19And it's one of the toughest things to live in a box with 15 swinging dicks, you know.
10:24But it was always fun.
10:26Is this where we're playing?
10:28Yeah, it is.
10:29There was never a dull moment, man.
10:32The shenanigans he used to pull up just out of thin air to keep us amused.
10:39Sometimes I even freak myself out.
10:41Daryl throws me this big VHS camera.
10:43He's like, we're gonna film everything.
10:45You gotta be quick with it.
10:47Welcome to the past, y'all.
10:49Hold the video.
10:50Yeah!
10:51They were like, we should build pot leaves for the stage.
10:55And they did it.
10:56And I was like, yeah, dude.
10:57I'll bust up the fake joint.
11:00That was like the loudest people cheered for us.
11:03We were like, really?
11:05He loved to see joy in other people's faces.
11:09He's never shunned anybody or made anybody feel like they were a stranger.
11:12Everybody was a friend.
11:14Everybody's pretty straight on, people, you know.
11:16I'll share my beer with you, you know, and just hang out.
11:19Everybody's totally cool, man.
11:21The joy of having friends, man, and having parties.
11:24It was always Don pulling us ahead.
11:26He was the cheerleader.
11:27He really was.
11:28You know that's right.
11:30Jesus!
11:33Cowboys was a great start, but man, vulgar, that locked it in.
11:39It's the coolest record of recent history, and you gotta check it out.
11:42It's Pantera's vulgar display of power.
11:45As we mixed that record, we knew what we had on our hands and said,
11:49this is gonna be something special, man.
11:51Seems like every record gets heavier and meaner.
11:54Would you kind of agree?
11:55Kind of agree?
11:56Yes.
11:57The magic those four brought out of each other can't be duplicated.
12:02And it was becoming a monster.
12:04Right now we're gonna be playing a video from Pantera.
12:07Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence?
12:11That record put us on a totally different path from then on out.
12:15Your fans are mental.
12:16They're out of their minds.
12:18Pantera kicks everybody's ass.
12:22Congratulations on going cold, man.
12:24We never said, well, this is the peak.
12:27We can't go any higher.
12:28Cause there's always higher.
12:29Yeah!
12:30It's all up to us writing a great third record.
12:33And not selling out, not losing our integrity at all.
12:37Far beyond driven, Pantera's third major label release surprised just about everybody when it debuted at number one.
12:46No metal band has ever done that.
12:52The whole record, it's just one big satanic issue.
12:58Shows the bond between us and our live audience.
13:01We made this record for you, the fans, and for ourselves.
13:04That's it, man.
13:05Gaining that momentum and boom, that record.
13:08It elevates you even more to the top of your game.
13:11It just was incredible.
13:13It was this progression from clubs to theaters to amphitheaters per record.
13:19It felt natural.
13:20That's where these fellas should be.
13:22This is where these fellas were gonna get this entire time no matter what.
13:26When you thought it couldn't get any better, it just kept getting better.
13:35That's what you worked for your whole career.
13:39Everybody else was living the dream and loving it.
13:44But I was miserable, man.
13:47Coming in at number one, bro, that's the same fucking day I found out that I had my second blown out disc.
13:54So it's all my fucking fault. It's my antics.
13:59He would jump off the riser so much during the set and stomp around so hard.
14:05I would, like, be going like, whoa, you know, don't hit your head on the ceiling.
14:10When you're younger, you know, you think you're invincible, nothing's gonna hurt you or anything.
14:14But, you know, nobody knew what was gonna happen.
14:18At that moment, there is no fucking chance I could have said,
14:23fellas, it wouldn't be wise for me to do the job.
14:27I said, what do I do?
14:29How am I gonna do the next gig, Dimebag?
14:31Just get up and stretch, you know?
14:33It's like, dude, wait, no.
14:35It's beyond that, brother.
14:38I asked the doctors, what do I do, man?
14:41You won't give me surgery.
14:43You would never recover. That's what I heard.
14:46They said, take the medication and drink if you got to.
14:51And that's exactly what I did.
14:53So, the point of every day was to try and numb that butcher knife in my lower back.
15:02My morale was in the toilet.
15:04My drug addiction was growing by the day I couldn't stop when I should have stopped.
15:13And no one saw that coming.
15:14Everybody was so busy and caught up in their own pressures and things they were dealing with that I guess that was the start of a rift.
15:23And it got ugly.
15:24Dimebag, the same dude who told me kids were gonna love me and I was gonna be famous and all this shit, is looking at me like, what is fucking wrong with you?
15:37Back problem?
15:39Back problem?
15:40Brother, you got a drug problem.
15:42And he wasn't wrong.
15:48This fucking back injury.
15:50I was in so much pain.
15:51I was in so much pain.
15:53And my friendship with everybody changed, man.
15:57At that time, I spent a lot of time alone and on the road.
16:02I would get my own boss.
16:03I would get my own room.
16:05Every day was about being obliterated on some type of narcotic.
16:12I was possessed by this evil spirit, this heroin shit.
16:17They were in the studio recording Great Southern Trend Kill.
16:21That was the start of a rift.
16:24It was the first record I didn't have them around me.
16:27I stayed in New Orleans.
16:29I would go shoot dope up and work that way, you know?
16:35None of us had any clue that he was doing that, you know?
16:39And what kind of blinders did we all have on?
16:42It's like, did we all have on blinders that we didn't want to know?
16:46Phillip was a tough ass, you know?
16:49He didn't let people know.
16:50You don't want them to see you at your worst.
16:53You push them away.
16:54Them two loved each other the most, you know, and that is what you do.
16:58And that's when the eye awakening event happened at the Dallas show here.
17:07Sold out show.
17:10Everybody's family was there.
17:13I scored a big ball of tar heroin.
17:17It was an absurd shot.
17:20Root beard dark.
17:23And I said, as it came on, wow.
17:32And then we hear, I scream it.
17:33So I ran over there.
17:35And Phil's on the bathroom floor.
17:38And his skin's starting to turn.
17:40Bluish hue.
17:42The paramedics finally got there.
17:45We got him to the ambulance.
17:47Daryl and I, we just hugged each other.
17:50And like, I felt him just kind of fall on me.
17:53Like I was trying to hold him.
17:55We didn't think he was alive, you know?
17:57And, uh, and he wasn't.
17:59At that point, Phil was dead.
18:00And it was like, what the fuck's going on?
18:04And then I woke up puking in the back of an ambulance.
18:09Which is a dime bag.
18:14That hurt him so much, man.
18:17I regret that.
18:19It's humiliating.
18:22I regret us all not coming together and being there for him.
18:27None of us were mature enough to figure it out.
18:30Nobody was grown up.
18:33You know what I'm saying?
18:34It's just a freight train.
18:37When you come out of something like that and you wake up,
18:41and you see how it affects everybody around you,
18:44there's no way that could ever happen again, you know?
18:47In a weird way, too, it brought us all a lot closer together
18:50and very much we've taken it not as a negative but as a positive.
18:54After that, when they would record,
18:56this was home for him with Daryl.
18:59His house became a great beacon.
19:04We jammed there, we recorded there.
19:07One of the better times was the final record.
19:10Reinventing the steel, man.
19:14That was a good session, man.
19:16We were very much all together.
19:18Everybody was in a good spirit.
19:19I think we had really captured what the true essence of Pan tell us.
19:23Back to basics.
19:25Old school heavy metal.
19:27I take no insult, please.
19:29I gotta admit, I was feeling pretty good on that tour, too.
19:32That confidence that they had in each other, it just showed in the energy on stage.
19:46And it just sounded amazing but it goes back to how he was playing it, you know?
19:52It was like those guys were being reborn to me.
19:55I just remember things being positive, you know?
20:01And things were in a good place, you know?
20:03And then 9-11 happened.
20:04We just got a report in that there's been some sort of explosion at the World Trade Center in New York.
20:11We were doing the European leg of the tour.
20:14Went to the hotel.
20:16The tour manager calls me bellowing.
20:19Turn on TV, they're blowing up America!
20:22It was crazy.
20:24It was chaos.
20:25And I remember finally I got to talk to Daryl.
20:29This is a dime bag strapped up at the airport, man.
20:31And he's like, all right, I'm coming home.
20:34I think the farthest thing from his mind was actually playing and jamming.
20:38The guys felt like it wasn't going to be safe.
20:40Who knows what's happening?
20:41You know, if there's a war starting or what's going on.
20:44Been a while since I taught guitar lessons.
20:46When they'd come back, they had spoke with Elektra Records and everything
20:49and it was decided that, hey, maybe this was time, let's go ahead and take a six-month hiatus
20:54and then start working on a Pantera record.
20:57So he was able to just crash out and not have that anxiety of not touring or anything like that.
21:03This is dime. He's fixing to get a pedicure.
21:06But with Philip, none of us realized where his head was.
21:12It was just that separation and things spiraled back the other way.
21:17I wouldn't have made it through that tour, drug-wise.
21:22Because I then had three blown-out discs.
21:26I was shooting up Oxycontins at the time.
21:30I regret us all not trying to go down a different path, you know, because it was just so destructive.
21:36It got to a point where I was so low, I quit answering the phone. Period.
21:43Everything that we've worked for and everything that we've achieved up to this point,
21:46just all of a sudden, just boof, up in smoke.
21:49We had had a break around 1999, and Philip called and said,
21:57Hey, man, why don't you come down to New Orleans to just spend the weekend?
22:02That became an impetus of down.
22:04Down started out as a jam thing, just something we would do to have fun.
22:10In Super Joint Ritual, it was the same thing.
22:14They all started organically enough, but then I pushed it too much.
22:21When 9-11 happened, there wasn't any really bad blood other than the wear and tear of all those years on the road.
22:29But did we need a break at that point? Yeah, absolutely.
22:34Phil called saying, I just want to put my music out.
22:37I'm not trying to tour or anything.
22:39We're taking a six-month hiatus, and then we're going to start working on a Pantera record.
22:43That was what was said.
22:46And then all of a sudden, they were touring.
22:48My next plan is to do something with Super Joint Ritual and then do something down again, you know?
22:56It just kept growing into something else.
22:58Yes, I'm still playing with Pantera, I guess, unless, you know, they're against me.
23:03Don called and he goes, look, I'm kind of hurt by all this.
23:07Dude, it just came up. We just went and played these days.
23:10That's when my relationship with Daryl started to fracture too.
23:13Over me being with Down, I was starting to end up being on the other side of this line that got drawn in the sand.
23:20Nobody communicated with each other.
23:22Just kept letting that riff get bigger and bigger.
23:25Then Phillip started to fall back in that hole.
23:28There is a drug called methadone.
23:32Oh.
23:34Vinny would wake us up daily.
23:36Did you hear what Phillip said today?
23:38That whole media thing, he said, she said, Phillip said this, and yeah. It was ridiculous.
23:48I shouldn't have been doing interviews at all. I didn't know what was going to come out of my mouth.
23:53To be looked down upon by Vinny, because of my friendship with Phillip, I'm not the one that's saying it. Jack, you need to call him.
24:02Daryl and Vinny had set up a meeting and Phillip and Rex, they didn't show up. Okay, then that's our answer. We're done.
24:12They didn't want to be a part of it anymore. And we couldn't continue to sit around and wait and wait and wait.
24:18Best of luck to them as individuals. Best of luck to them as a band.
24:23That was all so fucking regretful, man. You gotta have communication, period. No matter what.
24:31It's just one of them riffs I wrote, you know.
24:35Daryl had been kind of working on a few songs.
24:39He kept working on it, and Jerry Cantrell was there.
24:43You know, I would show up to their house sometimes unannounced, you know, hanging out with them there, jamming on stuff.
24:49And I think he was always pushing himself as a musician, and he was really curious.
24:54Him and Vinny both had a pretty strong vision about what they wanted to do.
24:58I think they wanted to do something different than Pantera.
25:02Well, the group Pantera had chart-topping success in the 1990s.
25:06Now, two of the founding members of the Dallas-based band have a new plan called Damage Plan.
25:13It took so much work to get to where they got. It was like starting all over again.
25:19He hated starting over. I don't want to be playing these little bitty clubs.
25:23I don't want to do all of this all over again, he goes, because I'm not happy.
25:29At that point, I always told him, I said, at the end of the day, it's like,
25:32Dime, you're still playing and you're still crushing it.
25:34You're playing with your brother, I said, you know, keep inspiring kids and everything like that.
25:38Eventually, you guys are going to get back together, man.
25:41Everybody takes a little break, have fun, man.
25:44I know in the end there, Daryl had talked to Rex on the phone.
25:50He was making communications with them. He was going to fix this.
25:55We had planned on getting together over Christmas.
25:58And he said to Roger, you're beating me up. I've got to get home.
26:01And I hung up the phone. I remember we were both crying on the phone.
26:04Right after Thanksgiving, he called me and he's like, what's up, dude?
26:08We hadn't seen each other in two years. And we talked on the phone until the sun came up, you know.
26:14I couldn't imagine what my life would be right now if him and I hadn't had that conversation.
26:19He wanted to go back to Pantera for sure.
26:22And he's like, if I have to get in the car and drive to New Orleans, we're going to get it back together and we're going to do it again.
26:29He said, I love you. I said, I love you. And that was it. It was the last time I saw him.
26:35Never in a million years did I think that we would not have ever gotten back together.
26:41And that fateful day in December 8th of 2004 sealed that.
26:51Some things you just can't control.
26:53I remember talking to him that night and just out of nowhere, he hit me with, you know what?
27:08I hadn't said it in a while, but I love you. And I was just like so happy, you know, it was a good, good phone call. Good day.
27:15And yeah, he was coming home. He'd be home soon. And that was our last thing, you know, before he went on stage. So.
27:27So the Alrosa Villa is a local concert venue and typically it was always rock or metal music.
27:41That night, I just happened to be going eastbound on Morse Road, which is the direction towards the Alrosa Villa.
27:47And that's when the call went out that there was a shooting. The suspect, he didn't enter through the front door.
27:54So he wasn't checked by security. He jumped the fence to get into the venue.
27:58He just walked straight to the left side of the stage, went up the steps and drew the gun and went straight across the stage.
28:05It was just chaos.
28:14911, what's your emergency?
28:16What?
28:18Hello 911.
28:19It's the Alrosa. We have a shooting inside. Somebody came in with a gun and started shooting people.
28:24Is there someone shot?
28:25Stop.
28:26Oh shit, they're still shooting.
28:28The victim, victim. Where is the victim at?
28:31All I know is his name is John McGill.
28:33Get him!
28:40My phone started ringing with this weird area code.
28:43And I'm like, who is this?
28:45And it's Vinny. It's Vinny fucking Paul, goddammit.
28:48I just saw my brother get shot. And I go, what?
28:53Because I was like, did I hear you right? Are you sure?
28:57I go, where are you? And he goes, I'm in the kitchen.
29:01I got a butcher knife. I didn't know what to say or do. I go, are you okay? And he goes, I'll call you back when I know something. And he hung up.
29:13What the fuck, man?
29:15Car's responding. Be advised, we have a shooter inside with a .33 on the stage firing shot.
29:25I remember vividly when I pulled into the parking lot, somebody came and started pointing me in a direction to go.
29:32As soon as I opened my door, I grabbed the shotgun.
29:36When I step into the back door, I didn't hear or see anything else.
29:40I kind of got really tunnel visioned and everything else went dark. It was surreal.
29:46I look across the stage. I can see the suspect holding a hostage in a headlock.
29:51He was holding Cat Brooks, Vinny's drum tech.
29:54As I worked my way across the stage, he put the gun to the hostage's head.
29:59I know for a fact that he's not afraid to shoot more people.
30:03At that point, I remember pulling up the gun and saying, uh-uh, you're not shooting him.
30:08After I shot, I was like, wow, that was fast. What just happened?
30:20Your mind's spinning at that point. I don't even know if it's describable.
30:24You have no choice. You have no choice. You saved a man's life.
30:30We got our five people down here. We got our five people down here.
30:36Then I got a call.
30:38It was Vinny. He started to cry.
30:42He goes, Rita, they wouldn't tell me anything.
30:45I have the mother of a Daryl Abbott.
30:48He'd like to know if anybody knows where his brother's at, and if he can leave, then go to the hospital.
30:53He kept asking, what do you know about my brother?
30:57They had said that some people had died, and he goes, look, can you just tell me this?
31:02Does one of them have a guitar tattooed on their arm?
31:06And he said, yes.
31:09I didn't know what to do.
31:12And Vinny just kept saying, I'm so sorry, Rita.
31:16And I go, what do you need me to do? Do you need me to come there?
31:21He goes, I don't know. And I go, I don't know what to do either.
31:28It was two in the morning.
31:30A guy who I'm friends with right now, just calling the landline at the house.
31:34All he's screaming is, he's like, Dime's dead. Dime's dead, dude. Dime's fucking been shot.
31:39You know, and I'm like...
31:41Didn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it.
31:44And thinking, well, I'm sure they're gonna save him in the hospital and just all this stuff, you know.
31:51I'm still emotional about that.
31:54There's certain things that are private to me, you know.
32:00I don't remember who told me I was out of my fucking mind.
32:03I know I was loaded.
32:05And I know I got on the phone with Rita and I misspoke.
32:10I didn't know what the fuck I was saying.
32:13I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
32:15He said, right things happen to right people.
32:20I will never forget that line.
32:22And I was like, what did you fucking say?
32:26If you show up here, I will blow your goddamn head off myself.
32:30I didn't mean to upset Rita. I love Rita.
32:33I've known Rita since the day I fucking moved to fucking Texas.
32:39Jesus, man.
32:41I got home early in the morning.
32:47And so I turned on the news to try to see what the media had to say.
32:51A deadly shooting at an Ohio nightclub.
32:53Fending shockwaves through the music world.
32:55The ex-Pantera guitarist.
32:57Pop, pop, pop.
32:58The makeshift memorial continues to grow.
33:00As you've heard, it took until this morning for police to identify for the public
33:04that the shooter was 25-year-old Nathan Gale of Marysville.
33:08Though the motive behind the shooting is still a mystery, 25-year-old Nathan Gale was a former
33:13Marine discharged early in 2003 for undisclosed reasons.
33:18He lived alone in a small Marysville apartment.
33:21Through the investigation, I came to find out that he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
33:27That apparently he wasn't taking his medication.
33:30I came to find out that there was a prior incident with him and the band in Cincinnati, Ohio.
33:35He went on stage then, too.
33:38Some kind of a scuffle broke out, damaging a bunch of equipment.
33:42The band didn't want to press charges.
33:44He was trespassed from the property.
33:46He felt that they were telling his thoughts through their lyrics and that he needed to put a stop to it.
33:54His mother, she bought him this gun.
33:57He wasn't supposed to have this.
33:59I'm like, why didn't we get a heads up about this?
34:02Why weren't we alerted?
34:04Because at least if we knew somebody out there thought those things, that maybe we could have, things could have been different.
34:18And as you can see behind me, earlier, more than 100 people were here to pay tribute to a rock musician who died inside.
34:26You know, the people that were really at that show, the way that that had to affect them to have to see that, to live through that.
34:38I wish I could take that away for them.
34:40I came here to pay my respects. I'm a big fan.
34:44I just felt like I had to be here.
34:46A lot of people lost their lives that night for no reason.
34:50I mean, it was senseless.
34:52There was Jeff Thompson, the band's security guard.
34:55Thompson was killed going after the suspect.
34:58Nathan Bray, he jumped on stage.
35:01Aaron Hawk, who was a security guard for the Arosa Villa.
35:05And of course, Dimebag.
35:07But he didn't know anything.
35:09There were five rounds and they were all, you know, the back of the head.
35:14But it was instant.
35:16He was playing, jamming for the crowd.
35:18And that was the last thing he knew.
35:21When you go through something like that and you don't understand why, you gotta, you try to find the reason or something to blame.
35:30And Phillip was that person.
35:33You can't help how other people feel.
35:36You know, I had to get right with his death by myself.
35:42It's crushing.
35:43It's real.
35:44I can't.
35:45I can't do it, man.
35:49Tonight, a makeshift memorial continues to grow outside Abbott's house in Del Worthington Gardens.
36:03It was almost a week later before Daryl was released to come home.
36:08And it was kind of a shock.
36:10Vinny looked at me immediately.
36:12He started to cry.
36:13And he goes, people can't see him like this.
36:16And I go, I know.
36:17And he goes, you gotta fix him.
36:18You gotta, you gotta fix him.
36:20And I go, I will.
36:21Started to put his jewelry back in.
36:24And that's when I realized I couldn't put his earrings in.
36:28Because there was nowhere to put them.
36:34The whole time when I was doing that stuff, all these little things kept popping in my head.
36:43And funny stuff and little memories and stories.
36:47And it was like this whole conversation that I was having with him this whole time.
36:52It was good moments with him still.
36:56I was glad that I had that.
37:03And when I could step back and actually think and realize it was worse punishment for Phillip and Rex to know that they weren't right with him.
37:16I couldn't imagine having to live with that.
37:20People want my reaction to what happened.
37:24This is not about me.
37:27After all the war, you know, after all the stuff.
37:33They didn't want me at the damn funeral.
37:36And I never got a chance to say goodbye in the right way.
37:40And it kills me.
37:42And I'm so sorry.
37:44That's pretty lonely, you know.
37:48Pretty lonesome time.
37:50I love him.
37:55Like a brother loves a brother.
37:58I had convinced Vinny to let Rex come.
38:03I really tried for Phillip.
38:05But Vinny did not want to see him because he needed someone to blame to cope.
38:12Because you do that when you are grieving.
38:15Even I myself, I needed someone to blame.
38:18It was a heartfelt goodbye as thousands of people paid tribute to murdered guitarist Dimebag Daryl Abbott.
38:25We flew in and, you know, in true Dime style, they wanted it to be a celebration.
38:30Fans crowded into the Arlington Convention Center's main ballroom with some of the most famous faces of rock.
38:35Eddie Van Halen was there and he goes, an original deserves an original.
38:40And Ed brought him an original.
38:44Took the guitar and placed it in with him.
38:47All I kept thinking in my head was, dude, look what you got, look what you got.
38:51I don't think he ever realized how much he touched people.
38:56He had a special talent for making you feel like you were number one.
38:59It didn't matter who you were or what you did.
39:01That's just how he was.
39:02Vinny never did like to talk about it because then it would remind him that he wasn't here.
39:07Grew up like best friends, you know, because we had a common love and that was music, you know.
39:12I think it was the same way with Pantera's music.
39:15Like he couldn't even hear it.
39:17With my brother no longer being here, there's no such thing as a reunion for that band.
39:21I'm not worried about whether people want to live in the past or not, man.
39:25If you live in the past, you got no future.
39:27Vinny's resentments, he never got past that.
39:30That's not what Daryl felt at that time.
39:32Sad news to report here out of the music world.
39:35The drummer and co-founder of metal band Pantera has died.
39:38For Vinny, what he was devoted to and what was in his heart would always be with his brother.
39:44But Philip was not responsible for what happened to Daryl.
39:49I would not listen to the Pantera for years and then on a whim put on some stuff.
39:59I gotta say, every time I'd be crazily impressed and reminded of how fucking goddamn severe that band was, man.
40:11I know he left the best mark in the world by what he put out there for the short time he was here.
40:19But I want to know when I'm not here, the world doesn't forget him.
40:24And to live through his music, it's gotta be played.
40:28After so many years, Phil was doing a thing where he was playing Pantera songs and so I went.
40:36Every time, every night that we play these fucking songs, it is a maximum tribute to Dimebag and Vince, man.
40:44Give it up for him.
40:46And I didn't realize that that was the therapy that I didn't know I needed.
40:51And for him, it's tenfold.
40:54I have to sit back and really ask myself, okay, what would Dime do, you know?
41:00He was going to fix this.
41:02And he told me that the Philip I know today is the Philip Daryl knew and loved.
41:08And I know Daryl would be standing by his side in a heartbeat.
41:12And Vinny would too, because then Vinny wouldn't have had to go through some of the bitterness that put him at odds with Philip.
41:19Because Daryl would still be here.
41:21He knew who he was in his heart.
41:24No matter what he called it, he was always going to be Pantera.
41:28Pantera needs to be his last music.
41:31In an exciting update from the metal world last year, we learned that Rex Brown and Phil Monsamo were reuniting for a monumental event.
41:40Pantera's first tour in over two decades.
41:44Pantera's first tour in over two decades.
41:46Yeah.
41:47Yeah.
41:48Yeah.
41:49Yeah.
41:50Yeah.
41:51Yeah.
41:52Yeah.
41:53Yeah.
41:54Yeah.
41:55Yeah.
41:56Yeah.
41:57Yeah.
41:58Yeah.
41:59Yeah.
42:00I why do you see him.
42:01So, with the Pantera celebration, you know, finally, they get to have a piece of magic.
42:05I fucking love it, man.
42:07Dude.
42:08Feeling it around.
42:10You just getting to hear it in that setting.
42:12That being so huge and thunderous.
42:14You can close your eyes and it can take you back.
42:18I still feel like the fucking kid in Dimebag said, man, your voice is going to be famous.
42:27I'm just like, no, man.
42:33He's been gone 20 years now, and I still get little glimpses of him up there on stage.
42:40I really do.
42:42Anywhere we're playing, I'm like going, all right, Benny, check it out.
42:48Every day when we think of Dime, when I play his stuff, he's still alive.
42:55And that's why we're out here celebrating him every night.
42:59It's healing for Phillip and Rex, for the crew that's out there, for the fans.
43:07You know, music is the healer.
43:10Here we are 45 years later.
43:14We've come a long way with this band.
43:16And this is all about Dime and what he meant to so many people, not just me.
43:23God bless him wherever he is, man.
43:27Pantera, it will always be them four.
43:31But the celebration continues this legacy for him.
43:35And for Vinny, too.
43:36It's like Vinny and Dime put their arms around you, and they just hug you.
43:41It's so moving.
43:44People talk about closure.
43:46I don't like to use that word because I just don't think that door is ever going to close with him and I.
43:53He steals so much of my world every day, and I am so thankful for that.
43:58I think about other people and how they probably forget how someone smells or their voice or, you know, and I don't ever have to forget.
44:11His voice has never left me, you know, never.
44:18Just, I miss him, you know.
44:20I think about him every day, and I miss him.
44:23You know, he just made me me.
44:25I mean, I've never met anybody else like him in my life.
44:29He was one of my best friends.
44:31We just had fun together.
44:32I mean, your real friends are your true friends, and they'll always be there, you know.
44:36It's like you get off tour from jamming, and you get back on tour with your buds at home and keep wielding, you know.
44:43It's cool.
44:43I wouldn't change anything, though.
44:45I'm happy.
44:47Shit, man.
44:55If I woke up one day, and there was the proverbial genie's bottle next to me,
45:06and an actual genie came out of the damn bottle and gave me three wishes,
45:15Do you know where I'm going with this?
45:24I would wish to retain the knowledge of my life.
45:29But let's start over again, and bring it all back, and do it right, because that's, that's my heart.
45:43I would wish to be the best friend.
45:44I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:45I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:46I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:47I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:48I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:50I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:52I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:53I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:54I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:55I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:56I would wish to be the best friend of mine.
45:57Transcription by CastingWords
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