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  • 2 days ago
Detective Sam Hartwell, a veteran investigator accustomed to murder and mayhem, finds himself reluctantly assigned to the case of stolen blueberry muffins from the prestigious Crumbleton Bakery. What begins as a seemingly trivial investigation evolves into a meditation on the absurdity of modern policing priorities, ultimately revealing that sometimes the smallest crimes expose the largest truths about human nature and institutional dysfunction.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Crumbleton was calm until muffins vanished.
00:08Detective Hartwell wanted felonies, not pastries.
00:13But when baked goods go rogue, someone has to crumb the truth.
00:19This is the Great Muffin Caper.
00:22Flaky, absurd, and criminally delicious.
00:30The Assignment
00:36Detective Hartwell was handed the case by Chief Martinez.
00:41A muffin theft? Hartwell muttered.
00:44I deal with crime, not pastries.
00:48The detective eyed the muffin theft folder on his desk,
00:53which lay absurdly among folders of serious-looking files.
00:58He sighed, loosened his tie, and opened the folder.
01:04Twelve dozen blueberry muffins. Gone.
01:08No witnesses. No crumbs.
01:12This town, he grumbled, is losing its mind.
01:20The Crime Scene
01:23Mrs. Crumbleton stood behind the counter, eyes wide with theatrical despair.
01:34They were my finest batch, she wailed.
01:38Twelve dozen blueberry muffins. Gone.
01:44Detective Hartwell scanned the bakery.
01:48Spotless. Too spotless.
01:51No crumbs, no smudges, no signs of a break-in.
01:56You cleaned? he asked.
02:00Of course. I couldn't let customers see the scene of a crime.
02:05Hartwell scribbled the note. No crumbs.
02:09Over-cleaned. Suspicious.
02:14Suspect number one. Jules.
02:21Jules stood in the hallway, her shirt smeared with chocolate and glitter.
02:29I was rehearsing a monologue, she said.
02:33It's about justice and dessert.
02:38Hartwell blinked.
02:40You were covered in chocolate, near a bakery, at midnight.
02:46Art demands sacrifice, she replied.
02:50Sometimes, snacks.
02:52Hartwell scribbled.
02:54Alibi. Performance.
02:57Evidence. Chocolate.
02:59Verdict. Theatrics, not theft.
03:07Suspect number two. Margaret.
03:11Margaret didn't even flinch.
03:18Blueberry muffins? she scoffed.
03:21Crumbletons are dry.
03:23I wouldn't steal them if they were the last baked goods on earth.
03:28Hartwell glanced at her pastry case.
03:31Immaculate.
03:32Tempting.
03:33Smug.
03:34You didn't happen to bake a suspiciously large batch this morning.
03:40I have standards, she said, crossing her arms.
03:46Unlike some people.
03:49Suspect number three. Harold.
04:00Harold tore his sandwich in half and handed the larger piece to the cat.
04:06You think I stole muffins? he said, chewing slowly.
04:11I've seen real crime.
04:13Muffins don't bleed.
04:16Hartwell nodded, unsure whether Harold was a philosopher or just hungry.
04:22You didn't happen to see anything suspicious last night?
04:27Harold pointed at the sky.
04:30Suspicion's everywhere, but muffins?
04:33They vanish like hope.
04:40The Revelation
04:45Hartwell stepped into the bakery kitchen.
04:48The ovens were cold.
04:50Not just unused, untouched.
04:53You said you baked them yesterday? he asked.
04:58Mrs. Crumbleton hesitated.
05:01Her apron bore fresh blueberry stains.
05:06I may have exaggerated.
05:10Hartwell spotted a half-filled insurance form on the counter.
05:14Let me guess, he said.
05:17You're filing for pastry loss?
05:21She sighed.
05:23Business is slow.
05:26Muffins or sympathy bait?
05:29Hartwell scribbled.
05:31Crime.
05:32Fraud.
05:33Weapon.
05:34Muffin myth.
05:36Case closed.
05:37Hartwell slumped into his chair back at the office.
05:49A fraud case.
05:50Over muffins.
05:51He shook his head.
05:53I handled it, but somehow the criminal justice system still feels crummy.
06:00Muffin mysteries.
06:01Closed.
06:02Muffin mysteries.
06:03Closed.
06:04Muffin mysteries.
06:05Closed.
06:05bitchin 되멓 muffin mysteries.
06:07Don't forget to subscribe to me.
06:09Don't forget to subscribe to my kalodag.
06:11eines.
06:12Muffin mysteries.
06:13Me soul orWell.
06:14I can't wait...
06:15As you ask, he y oil went to shop for four months and Musikers...
06:17Both with grudging殺 self- dormant universe...
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