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Smartypants
Smartypants (2024)S02E15
Smartypants (2024) Season 2 Episode 15
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00:00We're known as the Smarty Pants Society.
00:02Intellectuals who gather in the dead of night
00:04to swap ideas and share discoveries.
00:07This week, you'll hear from Anna Garcia,
00:09Priscilla Davies, and Chris Grace.
00:13Welcome to Smarty Pants.
00:15Presenters are responsible for their own research.
00:16The makers of this program cannot guarantee anything
00:18this is accurate.
00:20Hello, and welcome members of the Smarty Pants Society.
00:23I am your host, Rekha Shankar.
00:25And today's speakers are going to present
00:27on a topic of their choice.
00:29But before we begin, let us say our sacred motto.
00:32If at first you don't succeed, get the hell out!
00:37Very good.
00:38Now, I would actually like to bring up our first speaker.
00:47Does anyone here feel like they get stupider
00:49and stupider every day?
00:51Yes.
00:52I feel this strongly.
00:53My memory is garbage.
00:54Things are not as sharp as they used to be.
00:56So I, of course, dropped $50 years ago on the New York Times puzzle app.
01:02And I want to use my platform today to discuss how this experience has affected me
01:07and why the New York Times puzzles are ruining my life.
01:12These puzzles are so cute, so colorful, so rainbow.
01:16And yeah, they're fun to look at.
01:18But ultimately, there are sinister happenings going on here.
01:21Yeah.
01:22So I think to give you guys the big picture, I'm going to go through which games are worth
01:27playing and which ones maybe have a darker energy.
01:30Oh, thank you.
01:31Sudoku!
01:32An OG puzzle.
01:34Put some respect on Sudoku's name.
01:36Next, everyone's favorite pandemic slut, Wordle.
01:41The pandemic gave us two things besides crippling mental illness.
01:46It gave us TikTok and it gave us Wordle.
01:48We all woke up.
01:49We played this.
01:50We looked for the green little letters.
01:51This one.
01:52Sorry.
01:53Is that natural or?
01:54That's natural.
01:55Wow.
01:56Sorry.
01:57No, it's a skinny BBL.
01:58It's not a B-B-B-B-L.
01:59Good.
02:00Hey, thanks.
02:01Now they have Wordlebot.
02:03And basically every day, it's a robot telling you why it's better than you at Wordle.
02:07The Wordlebot is the worst thing I've ever seen.
02:10Yeah, it's crazy that they made a robot that's also a bitch.
02:13Another one worth playing?
02:14Spelling Bee!
02:16Yeah!
02:17This one fucking rocks!
02:18Um, I'm a huge Spelling Bee head.
02:20A, it has a theme.
02:21Little honeycomb.
02:23It's got a B.
02:24You have to make words using the center letter.
02:26And this is from a few months ago.
02:28I got royal, golly, googly.
02:30Raviogli.
02:31The last worth playing one is Strands, the new kid on the block.
02:35I played Strands when it was in beta and you had to play it on your computer.
02:39Hank too.
02:40Rekha as well.
02:41You're basically just looking for words.
02:42And this theme was dream teams and I put pants and it wasn't a word,
02:45which is crazy because it's like, what's a better dream team than legs?
02:48Okay, so now we're getting into worth playing conditionally.
02:51This is the New York Times crossword puzzle.
02:54It's what they're famous for.
02:56All right, and the way the crossword puzzle works is it's easiest on Monday
02:59and then it gets harder and harder and harder until Sunday,
03:01where it's really, really tough.
03:03So this is a Monday crossword puzzle and this is a Sunday.
03:07Way more squares, way more evil.
03:10The only people that I think can solve the Sunday puzzles
03:13are sociopaths and the kid from Good Will Hunting.
03:17I think there are two types of people that play the New York Times crossword puzzle.
03:20There are people that are really good and there are people who are trying really hard,
03:25maybe are stupid, but are working, okay?
03:28I am brave enough to be dumb.
03:32I am.
03:35Okay, next we're getting into the barely worth playing.
03:38Has anyone played Letterboxd?
03:39This game does not trigger my pleasure center at all.
03:42And first of all, I already have a Letterboxd where I give all my movies five stars.
03:46What is the point?
03:47Bad.
03:48Bad boy.
03:49Next is tiles.
03:50We love an artist.
03:51If you play tiles, you are a Cocomelon baby.
03:54Yes.
03:55This is like a color and shape game where you're just matching them.
03:58You are not getting enough oxygen in your brain if you're playing tiles.
04:01The only way to lose it is when you've done the whole thing
04:04and you've wasted your time.
04:05Exactly.
04:06And then you are a loser.
04:07What is this game?
04:07So like, see how this purple ring is the same as this purple ring?
04:10Yeah.
04:10You would then tap.
04:12But those tiles don't match.
04:13No, but they have matching elements.
04:16So this circle has an orange circle in the middle.
04:20Which other one has an orange circle in the middle?
04:22Top right.
04:23So it's like you follow the trail.
04:24It seemed pretty fun just now.
04:26You are the oxygenized Cocomelon baby.
04:29Wow.
04:31Wow.
04:31That could be.
04:32Okay.
04:32So the next on Barely Worth Playing is the mini.
04:37And the mini to me is high risk.
04:39And the risk is Ben.
04:41During the pandemic, I was texting a guy that I met on a dating app, flirtatious.
04:48And he was like, hey, do you play the mini?
04:51The mini is a small version of the crossword puzzle.
04:53Very easy.
04:54It times you and you can add friends.
04:57Ben asked me to be his friend on the mini.
05:01That's like looking at someone's ass.
05:05So intimate.
05:05Every single day.
05:08This is 2021.
05:10Every single day, Ben has creamed my ass.
05:13Yeah.
05:13And not in a good way.
05:14And then not in a good way.
05:17And on Christmas 2021, someone named Cum Destroyer added me.
05:21But I hate Ben.
05:24Now, look at this.
05:25Every single day in a row, Ben, literally, it was plaguing me.
05:29Someone that I was like, oh, okay, we're flurry.
05:31We're having fun.
05:31I now despise.
05:33This was leading up to Valentine's Day.
05:35Wow.
05:35Have you met this person?
05:36Yeah.
05:37Are you dating now?
05:38No.
05:39Did you kiss on the mouth?
05:39No.
05:40We like hung out three times in person.
05:41But he's the only person on my fucking mini.
05:45I don't even do this with my close friends.
05:48Yeah.
05:48He's doing this to hurt you.
05:50I know.
05:52Yeah.
05:52Every day he's beating you by almost a minute.
05:55Okay.
05:55So, okay.
05:56So to your point.
05:57I've gotten better.
05:58Wow.
06:00Okay.
06:00Scrappy on top.
06:01Okay.
06:0216.
06:03Anna.
06:03I know.
06:0422.
06:05And then, yeah.
06:06So Ben is making you a better person, to be quite honest.
06:09Okay.
06:09You can't say that.
06:10One of the most toxic people I've ever met.
06:11It's actually good to be in a toxic relationship because they make you better.
06:14Ben was the biggest love bomber I've ever met.
06:16Damn.
06:17There's a worse or evil.
06:18Oh, no.
06:19Out of all the puzzles.
06:21Can anyone guess?
06:22Are you going to badmoth connections right now?
06:23No.
06:24Oh, my God.
06:26You're wrong.
06:27You're wrong.
06:27This is bad.
06:28Fight, fight, fight, fight.
06:30The connections.
06:31This game.
06:32My best friend.
06:33Shut up.
06:34Should rot.
06:36So this game, four by four tiles.
06:37You have to organize these tiles into four groups.
06:40So basically, it's like tap, tap, tap, tap.
06:42And then they all have something that unifies them.
06:44So there's four categories.
06:46You have to organize the tiles.
06:47Here's an example.
06:48So you would say, oh, okay, fun.
06:50Utah, Montana, Nevada, Kansas.
06:53Cool.
06:54That's probably four.
06:55No.
06:56No, no, no, no.
06:57There's also Arizona.
07:00There's also Colorado.
07:01Colorado.
07:02Guess what?
07:03Kansas is a rock band and Montana is a Tony.
07:07They trick you.
07:08Oh, they're playing with you.
07:09They're playing with your mind.
07:12They're playing games.
07:13And I know people are going to say, that's what puzzles do.
07:16I don't think I should leave puzzles so angry, so angry.
07:21I leave furious.
07:22Here's another example.
07:23So it's like, oh, yeah, plant, seed.
07:26Cool.
07:27Guess what?
07:27Plant and seed aren't even in the same category.
07:29And you're telling me there's NHL teams named stars,
07:32wild, and kraken?
07:33No way.
07:33The way that they expect people who do puzzles
07:35to also know what NHL teams are for?
07:37That's not okay.
07:38That's not okay.
07:39Bible books, job.
07:41That's actually not okay either.
07:42Job!
07:43That's Job.
07:44That's Job.
07:45Job!
07:46That's pronounced Job.
07:47What book is Job?
07:49It's the book of Job.
07:50The book of Job.
07:51The book of Job.
07:52I need to read the fucking book of Job.
07:53That's indeed.com.
07:54Evil.
07:55Evil.
07:56This was April Fool's Day.
07:57Oh, I loved this one.
07:59Fuck off, Javon!
07:59I loved this one.
08:00This one's good.
08:01This pissed me off.
08:02It says, oh, we're going to show you all these little pictures,
08:05and you're going to figure out the pictures.
08:07I didn't like that at all.
08:08This one was one of my favorites.
08:09I like the kooky ones.
08:11I want you to go away.
08:14That's fair.
08:14That's fair.
08:15I want you to go away.
08:17Wait, is the connections dabbing?
08:19Yeah.
08:19I love that.
08:20Yeah, I like that.
08:21The graphic designer absolutely ate on this one.
08:23Yeah.
08:23I know that all of you maybe have not played this game,
08:27so I delved deep into the darkest corners of my mind
08:32to make you a game.
08:35You hate it so much that you made a game.
08:37I was trying to understand the sickness behind it,
08:39and let me tell you, it was an awful experience.
08:42Everyone pull out your phones.
08:43It's a villain's origin story.
08:45It's right.
08:45You're like the Dexter of puzzles.
08:48Scan it.
08:48It'll take you to, and you at home can also do this.
08:51I love it.
08:52It is playable.
08:53I got one already.
08:54I got one already.
08:55Hey, just a question.
08:56Is it cool if I text Ben to help us?
08:57I got the purple first.
08:59Wow, that's good.
09:01I'm a puzzle maniac.
09:04Twin Towers, really awesome.
09:05We're just going to move on.
09:06You're all dumb.
09:08We're just going to move on.
09:09That's fair.
09:09What have we learned today?
09:11Some people have a knack for games, and some people don't.
09:15Hank has beat it.
09:16Everyone say, good job.
09:17Well, Hank, we know, is famously smart.
09:19What a dweeb.
09:21Hank has one of those brains that, you know.
09:23It was really good.
09:24It was a good one.
09:25Thank you so much.
09:25The most important thing is being yourself and trying.
09:29Wow, the end.
09:30Beautiful.
09:34Anna, thank you so much for that very enlightening presentation.
09:38Yeah.
09:39Have you ever done just a physical puzzle puzzle?
09:42Yes.
09:43Do you like?
09:44I do like.
09:45The thing that I like about physical puzzles is that it's very easy to go, to get into the flow.
09:50You know, flow state where you're sort of just like nothing else matters and you're doing,
09:53yeah, I love those.
09:55Okay, because some of those have a lot of built-in tricks, like similar-looking tiles,
09:59or like all sky, all sky is hard.
10:02Yeah, so sometimes when I'm playing Spelling Bee, I notice as a conspiracy-minded person,
10:07maybe they're hiding hidden messages in here.
10:10How do I stop myself from having a full-blown psychotic episode while doing the Spelling Bee every day?
10:14That's great. Unfortunately, that is a personal issue.
10:17Great.
10:18Um, if you're seeing messages in Spelling Bee, you're seeking those messages out.
10:22Great. Good.
10:22Yeah, fair.
10:23I noticed, you know, the ones that you were upset about, the games that you were upset about.
10:28My question is, have you ever considered not playing them?
10:30Wow.
10:33Okay. Wow. Anna, thank you so much for this terrific presentation.
10:40Excellent.
10:41Good evening.
10:47We all know the iconic siblings out there. The Jacksons, Cain and Abel, the Kar Jenners.
10:53Mm-hmm.
10:54But what makes for a great sibling combination?
10:58Well, I've spent thousands of hours researching in my heart and in my mind to bring to you today
11:06the top five sibling combinations.
11:10Wow.
11:10Okay.
11:11Yes, yes.
11:12Yeah.
11:12If you find yourself to be in one of these groups, consider yourself blessed.
11:17Wow.
11:18Yeah.
11:18I think we're going to start in fifth place, because if I started with one, you would leave, right?
11:23Of course.
11:24I would go.
11:24That's true.
11:25Immediately.
11:26Yeah.
11:26The Horde.
11:27Oh.
11:28That is the scientifical term for eight siblings.
11:32Wow.
11:33Let's take a look at some of their strengths.
11:35They're so diverse.
11:36First and foremost, the Horde has sheer numbers, right?
11:40I mean, numbers you're going to win.
11:42Then, of course, we have variety.
11:44When you have eight siblings, you can have all kinds of siblings.
11:47You can have boys.
11:49You can have girls.
11:49You can have non-binary kids.
11:51You can have queer kids.
11:52Straight kids.
11:53You can have light-skinned kids.
11:54Dark-skinned kids.
11:55Medium-skinned kids.
11:56Ooh.
11:57Yes, yes, yes.
11:58That's right at you, Rekha.
11:58Yeah.
11:59Yes.
12:00The genetics be genetic-ing.
12:01Next, you have built-in friends in your siblings.
12:05You don't have to go out and hang out with the street kids.
12:08Those dirty rats on the street.
12:10No.
12:11Not a condoned opinion.
12:12No.
12:13Okay.
12:14And then they're going to get the even number bonus.
12:16Ooh.
12:17That's a good one.
12:17Nobody is left out.
12:19Oh.
12:20Yes.
12:21Next, we have parental attention.
12:23Ooh.
12:24When you're one of eight, you can slide under the radar.
12:27You see what I'm saying?
12:28You don't have your parents all up in your sauce.
12:30You guys can kind of just slip back and, you know, the Homer Simpson slip back into the bushes.
12:36Uh-huh.
12:36Okay.
12:37Yeah.
12:37If you want to be on Santa Monica Boulevard at 14, pushing weight with your friends,
12:42you can do that.
12:43What?
12:43Amen.
12:43Yes.
12:44Pushing weight.
12:46Drugs.
12:46Selling drugs.
12:47No, I understand, but why are those my two options?
12:50And finally, our final strength for the Horde.
12:53The odds are in your favor if you decide to go no contact with your family.
12:57You will have at least one sibling that you can still stay in touch with.
13:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:01Let's take a look at their optimal power configuration.
13:05The gauntlet.
13:06Oh.
13:07The gauntlet.
13:09Yes, yes.
13:10They can do whatever.
13:11They don't need training.
13:12They just get to business.
13:13Wow.
13:14Let's head into the weaknesses, shall we?
13:16Being in a large family is just a liability.
13:18It's non-stop chaos in that house with eight kids.
13:22When you are in a large family, without fail, the older siblings become parents to the younger siblings.
13:28Oh, right.
13:29Oh.
13:29Yes, yes.
13:30You never hear the end of it, right?
13:32When they get older and they're like, I don't want to have kids because I've already raised my kids
13:35because I had my sibling kids, you know?
13:37And it's really not a good look.
13:38It's not a good look having teenagers taking care of children.
13:41Yeah.
13:42And finally, while you can slip under the radar, you can also slip into the cracks.
13:47Oh.
13:47Yes.
13:48These are some examples of The Horde.
13:51All right.
13:51If it's on TV, it's got to be the truth and it's got to be important.
13:55So if they did a show about eight children being enough, that tells you why The Horde definitely should be on this list.
14:01Mm-hmm.
14:02Okay. And of course, we have the Bridgerton siblings.
14:05Of course.
14:05Are you ready for the final score?
14:06Yeah.
14:07Yeah.
14:07Yeah.
14:08100,000 points.
14:09Whoa.
14:09What is this out of?
14:11Do I have any members of The Horde here?
14:12It depends on if you define blended families as siblings.
14:16Blended families count.
14:18And I believe, yes.
14:19In fourth place, we have The Conglomerate.
14:24Oh.
14:25This is six children.
14:28Let's look at their strengths.
14:29First of all, the Conglomerate is the sleekest of the large family.
14:34Oh, sure.
14:35Okay.
14:36Something about that number six.
14:37It's easy to organize.
14:39They're like ninjas, if you will.
14:40They can do a lot of control damage in a short amount of time.
14:43Yeah.
14:43Okay.
14:44Let's get into their optimal power configuration.
14:47Do-do-do-do-do-do.
14:49Nice.
14:49The knife shredder.
14:50Whoa.
14:51Yes, yes.
14:53Because the Conglomerate can line up and slice like a knife, but also pair off and shred.
15:00All of these siblings are at some point going to fight.
15:02Yes, yes, yes.
15:03Because siblings are under attack.
15:05Being a child is tough, okay?
15:07You got to be scrapping and dapping when you're a child, okay?
15:09Let's move on, shall we, to the weaknesses.
15:12Parental attention again.
15:14They're one of six.
15:15They're slipping through the cracks.
15:16That large family liability.
15:18And, of course, it's going to be chaotic.
15:21Not as chaotic as the Horde, but six is a lot.
15:24Yeah.
15:24And again, we have the parent sibling.
15:26And when you're the oldest kid in this conglomeration, you are often the parent to your parents.
15:31Oh, speak on it.
15:33Whoa.
15:33Speak on it.
15:34You know what?
15:35Oh, we got the Smollettes.
15:36Right.
15:37The Smollettes.
15:38This is a successful entertainment family, right?
15:41Yeah.
15:41However, there's Jussie.
15:43Yeah.
15:44Yeah.
15:44The one that slipped through the cracks.
15:46Oh.
15:47You understand what I'm saying here?
15:48Yeah.
15:49Okay.
15:49And then, of course, we have the Jolie Pit Kids.
15:52Are you ready for the score?
15:53Yes.
15:54Yes.
15:54Yes.
15:54Oh, my gosh.
15:55I wonder what it's doing.
15:55Give it to us.
15:56For a total score of one million points.
16:00Oh, my gosh.
16:00One million.
16:01One million.
16:02One million points.
16:03Do we have any members of the conglomerate?
16:05Oh, yes.
16:06Joan.
16:06Yes.
16:06Have you done the knife shredder?
16:08Oh, yeah.
16:08Constantly.
16:08That was all we were doing.
16:09I know exactly what this is, and that's all I was doing.
16:11Joan is from New York.
16:13Let's head on to third place.
16:15We have the Quadrangle.
16:17Wow.
16:17That's my favorite one.
16:18This is the scientific name for four siblings.
16:21First and foremost, they're the smallest of the large families.
16:24Yep.
16:25So they're going to get the perks of being in a large family,
16:27but not all the detriments of being in a large family.
16:30Okay?
16:30Everybody's got a partner.
16:32Parental attention.
16:33You don't have your parents all up in your business.
16:35Backup siblings.
16:36This is going to get a little morbid.
16:37Uh-oh.
16:38Yeah.
16:38Oh.
16:39If, unfortunately, we lose a sibling,
16:41RIP.
16:42You still have at least two backup siblings.
16:44Good.
16:44Defense.
16:45Yeah.
16:45Now, here's the thing about the Quadrangle.
16:47People think because they're only four,
16:49they may not be able to handle business, but I promise you they can.
16:52Okay.
16:52And if you have a scrappy four,
16:54each of you can take two people.
16:56So you can,
16:56you can fight all the way up to maybe eight,
16:58nine people and take them down.
17:00Okay.
17:01All right.
17:01Let's check out their optimal power configuration.
17:05Loading the four corners.
17:08The four corners.
17:10You cannot penetrate the square.
17:12So if you get one kid on each corner, as Mariah Carey would say,
17:15it's a wrap.
17:19Let's take a look at their weaknesses.
17:20Only two.
17:21Parental attention.
17:22You're one of four.
17:23You know, it's, it's like a hit or miss with that.
17:25You know, depending on your parents.
17:27It's a little bit chaotic, but not that chaotic.
17:29Yeah.
17:30Just a smidge.
17:31Yeah.
17:31And worst case scenario, you're going to get hit with that three on one.
17:35And nobody wants to be that one.
17:37Well, sometimes three on one can be fun, you know?
17:40Not with your siblings.
17:41Right.
17:42Right, right, right.
17:43Say, say, say psyched.
17:46And some celebrity examples.
17:49We've got the Car West kids.
17:51I mean, this is a great quadrangle right here.
17:53And then of course, we have the OG Kardashians.
17:57My favorite example, Leonardo, Rafael, Donatello, Michelangelo.
18:00Ooh.
18:01What a quadrangle.
18:02That's a great wall.
18:04Are you ready for the score?
18:05Yes.
18:06One billion points.
18:07One billion points.
18:09One billion points.
18:10Do we have any quadrangle members in the house?
18:12I'm proud of it.
18:13I am proud of it.
18:16Where do you lie in the quadrangle?
18:18I'm number two, all boys.
18:22Now that, that's a vicious quadrangle.
18:24That's tough.
18:24Yes, Chris.
18:26I'm the youngest of four.
18:27And I will say I've gone no contact with two of them.
18:29Okay.
18:30And you still have a backup siblings.
18:33Yeah, they both died.
18:36Okay.
18:37Okay, so you didn't go...
18:38Keep that in.
18:39Keep it in.
18:40Let's keep that in.
18:41In second place, we have the dynamic duo.
18:45The dynamic duo.
18:46Two kids, right?
18:47Let's get into these drinks.
18:49First and foremost, the dynamic duo is classy as fuck.
18:52Yeah.
18:53Okay?
18:54The type of parents who have dynamic duos wear black turtlenecks.
18:57They listen to NPR.
18:59They send their kids to school with macrobiotically balanced bento boxes.
19:03Yes.
19:03Do you know what I'm saying?
19:04They got in, they got out.
19:06They probably wanted to be only child parents, but felt bad for the sibling.
19:11Yeah.
19:12It's like getting another cat.
19:13Next, we have actual, balanced, sort of healthy parental attention.
19:18Then, I don't know about you, but most duos that I know seem to be extremely well-adjusted.
19:23A lot more well-adjusted than me personally.
19:25Bonus points.
19:26Yeah.
19:26Oh.
19:27You can knock out the duo in one shot.
19:31Yeah.
19:32With twins.
19:32Yeah.
19:33Yeah, twins are epic.
19:34All right, let's look at our optimal power configuration.
19:40The chopper.
19:42They link hands, spinning, creating gale force winds, using their free hand to chop, chop, chop, chop.
19:49Wow.
19:50Yeah, it's a vicious thing to behold.
19:52Weaknesses.
19:53There's only two of them. They can't triangulate against their parents.
19:56Defense.
19:57How are they going to fight the street kids?
19:59They can't.
20:00Right.
20:01They have to become the street kids.
20:02They have to become the street kids.
20:04Oh, no.
20:05Yeah.
20:06Yeah.
20:06That's true.
20:07That's true.
20:07If you lose one sibling, it's a wrap.
20:10It's a wrap.
20:11You're toast.
20:12You're cooked.
20:13You become an only child.
20:17No allies.
20:19If your sibling's pissing you off.
20:20Right.
20:21That's it.
20:24We got the Fanning sisters.
20:25That is awesome sauces, huh?
20:26Yes.
20:27And of course, we have Willow and Jaden.
20:29Raise your hand when you found out that Willow and Jaden were named after their parents.
20:33Wait, when?
20:34Yeah.
20:34No, when.
20:36And let's get into their score.
20:39Oh, I bet it's too big.
20:41One trillion points.
20:43One trillion points for the dynamic duo.
20:46Do we have any dynamic duos in here?
20:48Oh, shit.
20:50The classy people in the front.
20:51Okay.
20:52Yeah.
20:53Okay.
20:53I think you nailed it perfectly.
20:55It is 100% the best, but it is also 100% the worst sometimes.
20:59I think everything you said was 100% accurate.
21:01All right.
21:02Thank you for confirming what I already knew.
21:03Yeah.
21:04All right, and in first place.
21:07I know what it is.
21:08Oh, dude.
21:08The trifecta.
21:10Perfect.
21:11Wow.
21:12It's literally perfect.
21:13Ew.
21:13The trifecta.
21:15Now, listen.
21:17Am I a member of a trifecta?
21:19Yes.
21:19Absolutely.
21:20Wow.
21:20So was this bias 100%?
21:22No, but this is true.
21:23Our first odd number.
21:23But it's absolutely true as well.
21:25Let's take a look at some of these strengths.
21:27Parental attention.
21:28They're not all on your ass.
21:29They got two other kids to mess with, and you can mind your business.
21:32Mm-hmm.
21:33You have at least one backup sibling in case shit hits the fan.
21:36Then, of course, we have energy, but it's not chaotic, right?
21:40We got the pitter-patter, but not too much patter-pitter.
21:43Right.
21:43You know what I'm saying?
21:43Wow.
21:44Absolutely.
21:45You don't want that patter-pitter now.
21:46Holy crap.
21:47Then, of course, you have one ally.
21:49Wow.
21:50Anytime I'm mad at my sister, the first person I call is my brother.
21:53Ooh.
21:54Love.
21:55Anytime I'm mad at my brother, who do you think the first person I call is?
21:57Your sister.
21:58Your sister therapist.
21:59You guys are really smart.
22:00Let's take a look at their optimal power configuration.
22:04Be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be!
22:05The tip of the iceberg.
22:07Wow.
22:07Oh, my God.
22:08Yes.
22:08Yes.
22:09So we talked about how the square is one of the strongest shapes.
22:13Do you know the strongest shape?
22:14That would be the triangle.
22:15Wow.
22:15That would be the triangle.
22:18Guys, the triangle is impenetrable.
22:21Absolutely impenetrable.
22:22So when these kids get into this configuration, into this formation, they are virtually unstoppable.
22:29Wow.
22:29Wow.
22:30One weakness.
22:30That's it.
22:31I know what it has to be.
22:32What is it?
22:33Oh.
22:34Only one backup.
22:35Classic.
22:35Okay.
22:36What happens if you lose two?
22:37You know what I mean?
22:38It's bad news.
22:39Let's take a look at our trifecta.
22:43We have the Hemsworth brothers.
22:45Right.
22:45There are three?
22:46Yeah.
22:46You didn't know there were three?
22:47Which one?
22:47The brothers?
22:48It was the one on the right.
22:49It was the one on the left.
22:50What are you talking about?
22:50The one on the right's Liam.
22:51I don't know any of them.
22:52Even I know that.
22:53I'm straight for these guys.
22:54They have three.
22:55I only know that one is Liam.
22:56He was in Westworld.
22:57He's in Westworld.
22:58He's a working actor.
22:59He's an actor?
22:59I want to say Trent.
23:00I want to say Roger.
23:01Trent?
23:02Okay.
23:02I don't know what his name is.
23:03And next we have the Hadid.
23:05Right.
23:06Are you ready for the score?
23:08Yes.
23:08Yes.
23:09One gajillion points.
23:10Oh my God.
23:11One gajillion points.
23:14Folks, thank you so much for playing.
23:19Priscilla, thank you so much for that enlightening presentation.
23:23What is this fight with the street kids we're getting into about?
23:28I don't know.
23:29I grew up in New Jersey.
23:30I'm aware of it.
23:31I'm from Philadelphia.
23:32Okay.
23:33So you should know about the street kids.
23:34What are we arguing about?
23:35Is it about steak houses or teams?
23:38I mean, we're just fighting for our life to survive in a gritty world.
23:43Oh, we're in a gritty world in Philadelphia too.
23:45Yeah.
23:46It was rough back then.
23:48I noticed that in the top five, we didn't get the Pentagon of five.
23:51Oh.
23:52How do you feel about them?
23:53They just give me messy.
23:56Something doesn't sit well with me.
23:58The Jackson five.
23:59But they weren't even five because they had like four other siblings in the back.
24:03Oh.
24:03It's like the Jackson 26.
24:05Look at that.
24:05They were in the back.
24:06They were not allowed.
24:07As a member of a conglomerate who has some siblings I like and some with,
24:13let's say, questionable voting patterns.
24:14Right.
24:15Do you have any strategies for going no contact with some, but not all?
24:20Yeah.
24:20Yeah.
24:21Um, so basically what you're going to do is go no contact with some, but not all.
24:27Oh.
24:27Oh.
24:28Oh.
24:28Okay.
24:29And, but see, the benefit of that is you can still be in the mix.
24:33How does your rating change if it's a single parent household?
24:36Okay.
24:36Single parents tend to have a lot more grit.
24:40Yeah.
24:40So they're almost the same as two in one.
24:43Wow.
24:43Yeah.
24:44You know what I'm saying?
24:44Yeah.
24:45And they can fight.
24:46Well, incredible Priscilla.
24:47Thank you so much for this information.
24:57Hello, uh, my name is Chris Grace and I'm here to talk about mysteries.
25:00What are some of the biggest mysteries of all time?
25:03Ooh, the Bermuda Triangle.
25:04Monster.
25:06Uh, how do they build the pyramids?
25:07Jack the Ripper.
25:08Jack the Ripper.
25:09Good point.
25:09The Black Dahlia.
25:10Black Dahlia as well.
25:11Murders.
25:12The disappearance of Amelia Earhart.
25:14Oh yeah.
25:14Wasn't she gay?
25:18I'm not going to reject any idea or any query that you might have about that.
25:22I've already gotten myself into a lot of trouble by rejecting ideas.
25:25Second, the Zodiac Killer.
25:27Oh, right.
25:28Another big mystery.
25:29And finally, as you mentioned, Rika, which is ironic, Jack the Ripper.
25:33Wow.
25:34That's really ironic.
25:34There's a lot of questions about Jack the Ripper.
25:36Who was he?
25:37Why in Victorian times were men wearing sunglasses that helped them cosplay as Cyclops from the
25:42X-Men?
25:43Why have we not solved these mysteries?
25:45I think it's because of three things.
25:47One, people are lazy.
25:48Oh.
25:49Yeah.
25:49Two, people think it's too hard to figure out the answer.
25:54And three, people are quitters.
25:56Wow.
25:57Because they're lazy.
25:58Wow.
25:59Yeah.
25:59Okay?
26:00As a quitter, I agree.
26:02As a lazy person, I can cut.
26:03I'm here to tell you, all mysteries could be solved if people weren't so lazy.
26:08Spoiler alert, I figured out who Jack the Ripper is.
26:12No way.
26:12No.
26:13Yes.
26:14Is, by the way, not was.
26:16Still alive?
26:16Wait.
26:17Oh, he's still alive.
26:17What?
26:18For example, let's talk about Amelia Earhart.
26:21Now, Amelia Earhart disappeared in 1937.
26:23She was flying a Lockheed Electra, trying to circumnavigate the globe, and she disappeared.
26:28And there's a lot of theories about this, but I think the simplest one that I came up with is
26:31she was murdered by an evil, immortal being that still walks among us now.
26:38Lots of people have different theories, and these are all absolute bunk.
26:43What?
26:43What?
26:44No.
26:46What's happening?
26:46I'm so sorry.
26:47What?
26:48This is an unfair ghost.
26:49Um, sorry.
26:50I...
26:51You know what?
26:52Um, if possible, actually, I'm sorry, Rekha, with your permission, I actually submitted
26:56a few different presentations I might present.
26:58Whatever you need to do to be safe.
26:59I'll do something else.
27:00Um, let's do, uh, you know what?
27:02Let's do the best breakfast spots in Juneau, Alaska.
27:05Okay.
27:06Okay.
27:06All right?
27:06Just a brand new topic.
27:07This is my topic, Paul.
27:09This is what I'm presenting on.
27:10I started a social media account called the AK Hash Ranker, like Breakfast Hash.
27:14I was going to rank them top ten breakfast hashes in Juneau, Alaska.
27:18And I traveled to Juneau, and I ate at every breakfast cafe in the city.
27:24Great.
27:24Hey!
27:25Oh, no!
27:27Okay.
27:28No, I'm not, I'm not.
27:29No, you know what?
27:30I'm not lazy.
27:31I'm not a quitter.
27:32I'm so sorry for that diversion.
27:33Let's talk about the Zodiac Killer.
27:35Everybody is wrong.
27:35First of all, people think that the Zodiac Killer is not linked to Amelia Earhart,
27:39but the Zodiac Killer is linked.
27:41People assembled all sorts of weird evidence.
27:43Uh, this was a map.
27:44I was trying to find the Lone Star in San Francisco to get to a bear night.
27:47It's irrelevant.
27:49This was some kind of rudimentary word search,
27:51and then my husband wrote me this letter to say,
27:53please stop investigating.
27:55I...
27:56No, Chris!
27:57It's happening again.
27:58You don't have to do this.
27:59We're getting more pixelated.
28:00I'm Chris Grace, and I'm here to talk to you about racist sea creatures.
28:05Okay, so you might not think that a lot of sea creatures in the ocean would be racist,
28:10but a lot of aquatic creatures actually do discriminate.
28:13And here's a fun little cartoon I made.
28:15This is a Karen shark, and she does not want to be filmed by your cell phone
28:19while she's asking for the ma...
28:23What is happening?
28:23Please, please!
28:25I don't feel sick, guys.
28:26I'm not lazy.
28:26I'm not a quitter.
28:28Jack the Ripper is not a mortal human being.
28:31Jack the Ripper is an evil, immortal person that is linked both to Amelia Earhart
28:37and to the Zodiac Killer.
28:39And I...
28:40Oh, my God, Chris!
28:41Chris, I don't know whether to help you or just let it happen.
28:44Guys, let's talk about great moments from eSports.
28:48Okay, number eight.
28:49Sam Crookhank fragged Max Henka.
28:52This was in the World 2018 Oceana Finals of Fae Fairy Chronicles,
28:56which is a great MOBA, sort of like Dota 2 or League of Legends.
28:59It's one of the most popular eSports you could get.
29:01Chris, we know all of this already.
29:02This is common knowledge.
29:03Yeah, okay, well, this is great.
29:05Sam Crookhank was maining Apollonia in the mid lane against Henka,
29:09who was playing Furion.
29:10And this was pretty good.
29:11Who else did they maine?
29:12Um...
29:12You wanted to find me.
29:14Oh, no, I can't do this.
29:17You have found me.
29:19I am in the room.
29:22No.
29:23Are the doors locked?
29:25I think we might be safe as long as we stay in this room.
29:27Wait a minute!
29:28Maybe we can go down a secret passageway.
29:31I have a question!
29:32No, there is no question.
29:34All right, back to your seats.
29:35Back to your seats.
29:36It's the only place that we're safe.
29:37How did they find this?
29:38This is a secret society.
29:40I haven't been telling you the truth, okay?
29:42There was no Juno Breakfast Alaska spot.
29:44I've been losing time while working on this project,
29:46and an evil spirit has been haunting me the whole time.
29:49There is no AK Hash Ranker.
29:51There is no Karen Shark.
29:53Oh, my God.
29:53There is no Crookhank Fanzanka.
29:55AK Hash Ranker, Aaron Shark, Crookhank Fanzanka,
29:58the evil immortal being is Rekha Sharker.
30:01Rekha Sharker.
30:03Rekha fucking Sharker!
30:08Is that what her eyes look like?
30:09I never noticed.
30:10No!
30:11Rekha, you've got some explaining to do.
30:12Rekha, what's going on, Rekha?
30:14Rekha, are you Karen Shark?
30:15I had no idea my name was an anagram for that.
30:18Any questions?
30:19No.
30:20Everyone, you shut up.
30:21You put that away.
30:23What do you mean?
30:24What's your evidence?
30:24What's your proof linking me to an immortal spirit that's caused all these crimes throughout history?
30:29Well, let me ask all of you.
30:30Do you actually remember where you were before you were here at the Smarty Pants Society today?
30:35Do you remember how you even got into this room?
30:37Yes.
30:38I'm struggling.
30:38Of course you do, Rekha.
30:40Because you created the Smarty Pants Society to trap us all.
30:43So, Rekha has possessed you.
30:45Yes.
30:46And currently is possessing you.
30:47But you're doing incredibly well right now.
30:49That's right.
30:50Rekha Shankar.
30:50Very well done, Chris.
30:51Rekha Shankar killed Amelia Earhart and all the people that the Zodiac Killer killed.
30:56And all the people that Jack the Ripper killed.
30:58And formed the Smarty Pants Society.
30:59Okay.
31:00Maybe you guys just need to hug it out.
31:01Rekha, you're...
31:02I'm supposed to...
31:02Hold on.
31:03This is not a...
31:04Shut up, all of you.
31:05Look at this rage.
31:06Look at this rage.
31:07Look at this sheer rage.
31:09It's been fueling Smarty Pants since the beginning.
31:11All I'm saying, it is not an equivalent conversation.
31:16Someone calls you a murderous monster,
31:19and then you have to hug it out with them.
31:22You know what I noticed, though, is that you haven't even denied it once.
31:25I am not a murderous monster.
31:27What do you want, Hector?
31:28The true test to see if you are, in fact, Jack the Ripper,
31:33would be to have you speak in a British accent.
31:35No offense.
31:36And say, hello, pulpit.
31:38And ideally stare into the eyes.
31:40Okay, I'm going to do my absolute best British accent that I could do.
31:45Hello, pulpit.
31:47Oh, my God.
31:48That's...
31:49What the fuck?
31:49Her eyes flashed red when she said it.
31:52I know you didn't...
31:53Did he say that to people?
31:54Yes, of course.
31:55I didn't know he said that to people.
31:57That's exactly what he would say to them before he killed them.
32:00And it seems like, Rika, a way to get out of all this is if you just hug it out with Chris.
32:04Yeah.
32:04Okay.
32:04If you hug him and prove and don't kill him...
32:07That would prove...
32:08But if you hug him and don't murder him, it will prove.
32:11Okay, if you hug it out and share true love's kiss.
32:14That's probably the way.
32:16I think you have to share true love's kiss.
32:17You have to share true love's kiss.
32:19Yes.
32:19You have to let go of your mind control over him.
32:23Yeah, you have to do what we say.
32:24Otherwise, you're Jack the Ripper.
32:26True love's kiss.
32:27Chris.
32:28True love's kiss.
32:28I would like to say I am not any of the things you claim I am and give you a hug.
32:33Okay.
32:33And with your consent, a kiss.
32:35Okay.
32:36Okay, here he goes.
32:37Here's a hug.
32:37That's the...
32:38Oh, my God.
32:39Look at that.
32:40What is that?
32:41Kids, kids, kids, kids.
32:42Yay!
32:45How do you feel, Chris?
32:46Uh, so that's my presentation on racist sea creatures.
32:49Yay.
32:50Thanks, everybody.
32:51Oh, all of you want to steal a little kiss.
32:55You're all trying to get a kiss from me with your presentations.
32:58Well, it'll work.
33:00Uh, thanks, everybody.
33:01It'll work.
33:01It's true.
33:02Get out of here.
33:02Thanks, everybody.
33:03Get out.
33:04Bye.
33:04Bye.
33:05Yay.
33:10Well, everyone, we learned a lot today.
33:17And with that, we must conclude this meeting of our secret society.
33:22So let us retreat back into the shadows, just a little more enlightened than we were before.
33:27Good night.
33:38Transcription by CastingWords
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