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1670 Season 2 Episode 02
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00:00And, as I realize I cannot teach you anything anymore.
00:03Thus, I release you from your serfdom.
00:07Travel the world and develop your passions.
00:10My what?
00:12Point yourself in any direction you choose. You're free as a bird.
00:15And as a token of our gratitude for your five decades of loyal and unfailing servitude,
00:20a basket of our favorite fruits.
00:23Look at him. He's completely dumbfounded.
00:26I don't want to leave this hut. It's my home.
00:29Well, this hut was your home, but it's going to be positively transitioned to house these young, healthy workers.
00:36Our very own hut.
00:45I can't leave here, sir. I'm too old to move now. And on such short notice.
00:50Poser, Poser. Hey, hey, hey. You should never let anyone else tell you what you're capable of.
00:55All right. I'm going to stay in my hut, then.
00:57No, you can't.
00:59What you need to do is manifest your best life, Bojo.
01:02You're right.
01:02What do you mean?
01:03What do you want most of my food?
01:04I've always enjoyed a roof without holes.
01:08If you wish for it, then it will come true. Affirm your wish with me.
01:10My wish is for a new roof. My wish is for a new roof.
01:13My wish is for a new roof.
01:15Bravo, Bojo. Bravo.
01:16My hut could really use one.
01:18Yeah, but you're moving out.
01:20It's not your hut anymore.
01:22My wish is for it to remain so.
01:25No, Bojo. It's not possible. Work with us here, would you?
01:28I do work with you.
01:29My wish is to work more.
01:31Yes, but the world we live in gives you what you need, not what you want.
01:36Then...
01:36I need both of you to fish off.
01:50I feel sorry for the forest.
01:52The food chain is about to undergo a serious overhaul
01:55because the plant-hair-wolf order will become plant-hair-bojo.
02:01And wolf.
02:02Put a little more to the lift.
02:20Nearly there.
02:22No.
02:25Do that again.
02:27Yes.
02:28You got it.
02:32I think we're missing some color to lighten things up.
02:37What do you think, Stakub?
02:40I'm not a fan of the portmanteau, father.
02:44I don't see why you wouldn't like it.
02:46You two are now a single organism.
02:49No longer the beauty and the brain, Stan the Man and Jakub the Jack.
02:52There's just Stakub.
02:56Anyway, how do we make him pop?
02:58How about putting him on his side?
03:01Uh-huh.
03:02And maybe strike a pose like this?
03:04Like a formal greeting to his guests, but still casual.
03:10You know, I've always thought of you as the brains.
03:17Today I have the chance to score a ton of points for my image.
03:19I'm in charge of Leszek's burial.
03:22I got the guy home from Turkey, which means I decide what happens with his dead carcass.
03:27According to the golden rule, my body, my choice.
03:32The stakes are high, as the funeral is the most important day in a nobleman's life.
03:45It's even more important than his name day.
03:48It's a day we depart from this veil of tears, joining our late brothers.
04:01But the funeral can really go off the rails if you don't have a proper coffin portrait.
04:05Because image is everything.
04:06Dead starmates need to be captured with a natural yet stoic visage,
04:09two open eyes, and a clearly visible clean left ear.
04:11Otherwise, St. Peter won't recognize him.
04:22Portrait, sir.
04:23The truest art.
04:25Not music.
04:27Because you can't put words to music.
04:31You two watch over him, and no pressure.
04:33It must be at the funeral of the year.
04:35I don't really like funerals.
04:37All those expectations to have a good time.
04:39You do realize that my political future is at stake.
04:43Griselda, Leszek's lovely, heartbroken widow,
04:45will be deciding who will take over hosting the Harvest Festival.
04:47And I want it.
04:48Because whoever hosts the fair is usually elected to take over as community leader.
04:52Therefore, organizing a party for the people guarantees you rule over them.
04:57Exactly, Stakup.
05:00Uh...
05:01You smell that?
05:03An herby, grilled mutton?
05:06Hmm.
05:06I think Leszek's still got his natural aroma.
05:09Ah, indeed.
05:10Well, I'm finished.
05:19Good morning.
05:20Good morning.
05:22Good morning.
05:22Good morning.
05:24Oh, Daniela!
05:26You're back!
05:28Hey, ladies.
05:33Good morning.
05:34Hi.
05:35This is amazing.
05:39How was the Ottoman Empire?
05:40Is it big or not?
05:46We'll talk later.
05:47I have to go.
06:47I'm pretty observant.
06:50Welcome.
06:53Back to the village.
06:54Back to the village.
07:01So, um, you're Machi the... blacksmith?
07:09I am.
07:10I was, uh, wondering if you could help me, um...
07:13It would be easier if I just showed you.
07:16Your wish is my command.
07:18Show me what you want.
07:20We can help you, too.
07:21We insist, m'lady.
07:23Uh, you know, it's more of a one-man job, really.
07:26He can do it.
07:27We'll get it done fast.
07:28Yes, we will.
07:30All right, then.
07:31Let's go.
07:32Mm-hmm.
07:35God bless.
07:38God bless.
07:47You're gonna be our lunch soon enough.
07:51He'll be honored to end up on our plates.
07:54It's with all the snorting, though.
07:56I suppose he smells something stinky.
07:58Mm.
07:59Not me, nephew.
08:01I smell healthy.
08:03And wealthy.
08:05The baths are paying off.
08:07Which is why I plan to make a move on a fair maiden at the funeral.
08:09Why are you holding a paintbrush?
08:13I thought you were a musician.
08:15Music's on hold.
08:16I wanted something that got me closer to nature.
08:18Mm.
08:19Is this your first painting?
08:21Yes.
08:22Good, huh?
08:24I think I captured the essence quite well.
08:32I don't want to burst your bubble, but the composition's too static.
08:35You failed to strengthen the contrast,
08:36and clearly you have no idea that light shapes the body.
08:41Just some friendly advice.
08:43Forget about the visual arts and stick to music.
09:01Please be welcome on this sad occasion.
09:04Please be welcome on this sad occasion.
09:09Don't be an amateur.
09:28So it bit his ear off, or what?
09:30Well, it was a little more than that.
09:32Oh, no.
09:36Oh, damn it, the hell.
09:38We wanted to try and patch him up again,
09:39but we couldn't find enough pieces.
09:42That pig.
09:42I know it's hard to look at, but it's not his fault his face is gone.
09:45Poor old pig.
09:46I meant the boar that did it.
09:48Sire, Lady Griselda is already at the stables.
09:51She'll want to say her last goodbye.
09:54We can go and find a pumpkin,
09:55and we can paint a mouth, nose, and eyes on it.
09:57That just might work.
09:58The brain sees faces everywhere.
09:59But do you hear yourself?
10:00Pumpkin season doesn't even start until September,
10:02and there's no way you can cover this with squash.
10:04All right.
10:05Maybe we could find a peasant who looks like Leshak,
10:08put him in here, dim the candles,
10:10bury him, and dig him out later?
10:12Marianna, don't interrupt Sarmatians when they're brainstorming.
10:16I know what to do.
10:17Jakub and I will find a doppelganger and put him here.
10:19We'll put the candles on there.
10:20And Stanislaus, you try and stall Griselda.
10:22Stall her how?
10:23Figure it out!
10:23Wait, wait, Riselda?
10:36Not now, Stanislaus.
10:37Is that where my husband is?
10:39I want to see his face one last time.
10:41Yes, yes, but before we go in,
10:43could we please have a moment to talk?
10:46You want to talk?
10:48Yes, I do, because...
10:49Because I'm in love with you.
10:57What?
10:58What?
10:59Why are you so surprised?
11:01Cover your ears.
11:06This is rather unexpected.
11:09I don't know what to say.
11:11I thought that you were just being a very fine host.
11:20Wanted to show me the village or the burial site.
11:25I should have opened with that.
11:37Gregor Valcon?
11:38Come on, come on.
11:43I see my Leszek character pretty much as a man at a crossroads.
11:47On one hand, he's the boss.
11:49Nothing happens in the community unless he makes a decision.
11:52On the other hand, he sees that his decisions have the power to ruin peasants' lives.
12:00Nice log line.
12:02Whenever you're ready.
12:03Okay.
12:08I am at a crossroads.
12:16On the one hand, the leader of the community.
12:20And I've been given a solemn duty to steer it towards glory.
12:24On the other hand,
12:26I have become someone who can see
12:28that my every decision
12:30has the power to ruin my peasants' lives.
12:33Dear Jerker,
12:48I think we found our Leszek.
12:50Forget him.
12:51We're looking for someone to play a dead guy,
12:53not make us cry.
12:58Bring them all in here like cattle, then.
13:00And Pavel.
13:15I've seen a peasant with that look.
13:17Bojo!
13:23Bojo!
13:25Bojo!
13:26Bojo!
13:27Bojo!
13:28Bojo!
13:34Bojo,
13:35would you like the keys to the kingdom?
13:37I'd like to make you a noble.
13:40Did he take the deal?
13:42Shut your holy hole
13:43and pour us our mission some wine,
13:45why don't you?
13:45Bojo!
13:54Leszek would have killed us.
13:56The man's jealousy never knew any bounds.
14:00Is Turkey where this all started?
14:05Yes.
14:06You appeared like a vision in your carriage,
14:09and I was smitten.
14:10But I am just recently widowed.
14:12I have a reputation to uphold.
14:17I have to say,
14:18your confession stoked a fire in me I'd forgotten.
14:21You're stoked.
14:22That's what I wanted.
14:25Do you like games and riddles?
14:28Like the one where you're
14:29forced to choose between two not-so-great options?
14:33Such as?
14:33For example,
14:35would you rather not see or not hear anything?
14:39Such choices.
14:42I would rather not hear.
14:45Let's try something a little more abstract.
14:48For this round you choose
14:51whether you'd rather get in trouble romantically,
14:53or would you prefer that I tell you
14:55that there is nothing between us
14:56and Abore Leszek's face for lunch?
14:58I'll go for a forbidden fling any day, of course.
15:05Right.
15:07As would I.
15:10Good call.
15:17Finally, privacy.
15:19I know.
15:20I propose we split up for now.
15:26I'll close the abandoned house
15:27at the edge of the village
15:28and you meet me there.
15:35No.
15:37Martin's is using it now.
15:48It's a gift.
15:49For a woman.
15:50Who's my sister?
15:56Daniela, are you coming to the party?
15:58Uh, yes.
15:59I've got to change first, though.
16:01Excellent.
16:02You can set me up
16:02with one of your noble besties.
16:05I would love to introduce you to one uncle,
16:07but I don't have any noble female friends.
16:09That sucks.
16:12Tell me what you think of this pickup line.
16:20Were you crushed?
16:23Crushed for what?
16:24Our Polish homeland brought to its knees
16:26by the Cossack, Swedes, and Tatars.
16:29Because my heart was.
16:33Good one, right?
16:34It's brilliant.
16:35Who knew?
16:36Thanks.
16:37So smooth.
16:41Take this to the manor for me, peasant.
16:43As you wish, my lord.
16:46Who's keeping an eye on the corpse?
16:48Yes.
16:55I wouldn't have thought the Adamchevskis
16:57had a philandering son, Stanislaus.
16:58I'll admit I think your father's
17:02a world-class moron.
17:03The idiotic things he says and does.
17:07My dad and I are about as different
17:08as you can get.
17:10I had planned to screw him over
17:12and entrust him with the Harvest Festival.
17:15Only now I won't do it.
17:18And he has his son to thank for that.
17:20Why would you be screwing him over, though?
17:22My dad's planning to ask you
17:23to take over hosting at the funeral.
17:25Better he doesn't
17:26unless he enjoys loads of death.
17:27Leszek went all the way to Warsaw
17:29and successfully begged the king
17:31to visit us at the Harvest Festival this year.
17:34Almost no one of our stature
17:36can afford to host a festival
17:37with the king attending.
17:39And I'm sure that includes your dad.
17:45Open up.
17:46You want to see the corpse.
17:48Hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:49When are you going to let us in
17:50to see Leszek?
17:52No one's been allowed in
17:54to see the body yet.
17:54While we're speaking of bodies
17:58we'd like to look at,
17:59are any of you maidens
18:00looking for love?
18:02I'm a clean machine.
18:11That's good, yeah?
18:12Looks like him.
18:13Two peas in a pod
18:14separated at birth.
18:14What's he getting?
18:15The negotiations are ongoing.
18:16I'm getting my hut back.
18:18Roger, we'll see about that.
18:20I'll leave it.
18:21No, you lie down
18:22and we'll get you your hut back,
18:23all right?
18:24No.
18:26Stay.
18:28We need less light on him.
18:30Let me in!
18:33Jan Pavel!
18:36When are you going to let us in
18:37to say goodbye?
18:38The lines are mile long.
18:39I'm sure you can see
18:40we want things to be perfect
18:41because this is Leszek's day
18:43and we want his glory
18:44to be obvious.
18:46I don't think the Lord
18:48would care what he looked like.
18:49Perhaps our Lord loves us
18:50for our innate character.
18:52However, if he doesn't like
18:53what we're doing
18:54with our looks,
18:55exit the love zone,
18:56enter the friend zone.
19:02Make sure no one comes
19:04within a sword's length.
19:05I need to work
19:05on my acceptance speech.
19:07I need to peed.
19:09Jakob!
19:10Where's Father?
19:11Thank my boss you're here.
19:12Help me move these.
19:16I can't wait!
19:18We must not ask
19:19to take over
19:20hosting the festival.
19:21Why not?
19:22Because the king
19:22could show up
19:23and we can't afford
19:25a party for the king
19:25and his entourage.
19:27We need to tell Father now.
19:28Let's go.
19:30Where's Leszek?
19:32Griselda, Vladislav,
19:33praise the Lord!
19:35Please take me
19:36to see my husband now.
19:37You'll be our first viewers today.
19:39We've decided to set up
19:40this observational morning point.
19:42It's all the rest.
19:42But it's so far.
19:44Are you sure
19:44we can't get in any closer?
19:47No.
19:48Lady Griselda.
19:48I don't want your eyes
19:53on anyone else.
19:57Stanislaus.
19:58Boom.
19:59You're surprising me.
20:03There's fire.
20:05Who said that?
20:08Stanislaus,
20:08you're surprising me.
20:09My side eye points
20:10to the greeting widow.
20:11Uh, no, no.
20:12I meant after.
20:13Those are whoops
20:15laddled by the serfs outside.
20:18Huh?
20:19I need to freshen up
20:20before the burial.
20:23Yeah.
20:32Borgia, what the hell?
20:35It's getting a little warm in here.
20:37Go to the house
20:46and find a portrait
20:47of grandpa
20:47or great-grandpa
20:48or anyone
20:48as long as he has open eyes
20:49and his left ear is visible.
20:51In the meantime,
20:51I'll go find dad
20:52and tell him to turn Griselda down
20:53regarding the festival
20:54because it will sink him.
20:56What did they tell you?
20:57Viewing's over, brothers.
20:59To the burial.
21:01To the burial.
21:01Finally, we have the manor
21:30to ourselves.
21:31There's no denying it.
21:37You haven't told me.
21:40How is Turkey?
21:43Pretty?
21:46Hideous?
21:50So-so?
21:52You know, it is.
21:53This way.
22:04Cokolwiek w świecie jest
22:09Wszystka marność
22:12Choćby mnie królewska
22:15Doszła godność
22:19Wszystko zginie
22:22Świat przeminie
22:26Króla i cesarza
22:29Śmierć nie minie
22:33Nie masz już sławnego
22:36Cycerona
22:39Nie masz apsalona
22:43Nie masz apsalona
22:43Nie samsona
22:47Nie kto zława
22:49Where do you live?
22:51Maybe I could come over.
22:54That's very flattering
22:55but it would be better
22:56if I come to you.
22:57The village I come from
22:58has a very long name.
22:59You would never remember it.
23:00I can barely pronounce it myself.
23:02That's not a problem.
23:03You can just spell it.
23:04Um, so it's an R
23:09D
23:11Z
23:12G
23:13W
23:15F
23:16H
23:17Are you sure it's not a silent H?
23:22I'm sure.
23:24That's intriguing.
23:24I was sure it was a ch
23:25Okay, so we'll see each other in
23:27Rydzeguafe.
23:30Yes, I can't wait.
23:34Haha, girls from Rydzeguafe
23:36really do it for me.
23:40Where's my crucifix?
23:42Ah
23:42I left it at home, Zofia.
23:46At the manor home.
23:48Where I live.
23:50With a roof
23:50and a floor.
23:53My dream home.
23:56With walls.
23:59That connect the roof to the floor.
24:04I made you
24:18a mini-mache.
24:21You can take him
24:22everywhere you go
24:23if you want.
24:24Aww
24:25He's cute.
24:27You think?
24:29Almost like the original.
24:30It's a shame
24:38you don't have
24:39your own manor.
24:40We'd be alone more often.
24:41He's cute.
24:42He's cute.
25:03Aniela?
25:04Mm-hmm.
25:04Well, I've been wondering
25:23if you ever
25:23think about
25:25what's next.
25:28You know?
25:30Hello?
25:31Is someone here?
25:32No, no, no, no, no.
25:37Here, here, here.
25:41Aniela?
25:42Oh, hi, Mama.
25:44What are you doing here?
25:46Uh
25:46the girls said
25:48I could
25:49look through
25:50their dresses
25:51and borrow
25:52one of them.
25:54Since when
25:55have you been
25:55so eager
25:55to wear dresses?
25:56This is a big deal
26:00so I thought
26:01there might be
26:03some fancy visitors
26:04or noblemen
26:05to impress.
26:07So, looking the part
26:09could be good.
26:12You are absolutely right.
26:14I'll choose one for you.
26:15No, no, no.
26:16I already picked one.
26:18Uh
26:18I like this one.
26:24Gorgeous, right?
26:25Well, your intentions
26:28are good.
26:28That's obvious.
26:29Yeah.
26:32Well, wait outside.
26:33Shh.
26:49Just say no
26:50to hosting the festival.
26:51Yaku, can we get
27:02a move on, please?
27:03I just thought...
27:04Don't think, just preach.
27:07Understood.
27:13I welcome you all
27:14on this sad
27:15and mournful day.
27:16I really need to pee.
27:18We've come together
27:19to bid our brother
27:20Leszek farewell,
27:21a man who made an effort
27:23to spend his vacation
27:25in Turkey.
27:27And there he fell.
27:29And in that spirit,
27:31a few words of warning
27:33from our Savior.
27:39When Jesus was young
27:41and wandering around
27:43Jerusalem,
27:44he met a man
27:47whose dream
27:48was to host
27:49a grand harvest festival.
27:55That man was a noble
27:57and his name was
28:00Jan...
28:02Jan Gabba.
28:04Jesus warned him
28:09with these words.
28:13Do not ask
28:14for the permission
28:15to hold
28:16the harvest festival
28:17because it will be
28:19your downfall,
28:20Jan Gabba.
28:24As you cannot afford
28:25to hold the harvest festival,
28:27for of all the harvest festivals
28:28in Jerusalem,
28:29King Vishniewiczki
28:30has chosen
28:31to attend this one.
28:32praise the words
28:35of Jesus.
28:40The end of it.
28:44Now you've made us
28:46late again.
28:47I don't think
28:48Leszek will notice.
28:49But the good Lord will
28:50because he knows all.
28:51And now I'll ask
29:04my father
29:05to say a few words.
29:07Thank you,
29:08Father
29:08and Son
29:10and the Holy Spirit.
29:15Dear brothers,
29:16today we bid farewell
29:17to Leszek,
29:18our friend
29:19whose body
29:20is in that coffin
29:21in its entirety
29:22with a full head.
29:23I really need to pee.
29:25What was our friend like?
29:27Always very helpful.
29:29I remember
29:29how his carriage
29:30got stuck in the mud
29:31one day.
29:31But I came along
29:32and pulled it out of there
29:33in one shot.
29:34The man was like that.
29:35Being there
29:39for his final words
29:39was an honor.
29:40He looked me
29:41straight in the eyes
29:42and said
29:42very clearly,
29:46Jan Pavel,
29:47it's my time.
29:49I am dying
29:50and I want to die
29:51in peace
29:51knowing you will
29:52honor me
29:53in assuming
29:53the Harvest Festival
29:54hosting duties.
29:56And I said,
29:57my pleasure.
30:01He smiled at me then
30:02and kicked the bucket
30:04of contented men.
30:06On that note,
30:07I would like to present
30:08his portrait
30:09and...
30:10Good old Leszek.
30:20Our friend opened
30:21his eyes once more
30:22and asked me,
30:24are you sure?
30:25And I said,
30:26I'm quite sure.
30:28My word is my bond.
30:31And then he keeled over.
30:37Until another thought
30:39must have brought him
30:40back to life.
30:41And he said,
30:42are you sure, sure?
30:43At which point I said,
30:44Leszek,
30:45don't mock my word.
30:48Oh, he chuckled
30:49over that one.
30:52And then he finally
30:53took his last breath.
30:55That's why I would like
30:57to officially
30:57ask Griselda
30:58to please pass on
31:01the Harvest Festival
31:02duties
31:02to yours truly.
31:07And now behold
31:08the portrait
31:09of our beloved friend.
31:13Clearly his left ear
31:14is visible.
31:16I don't think
31:17the light shapes
31:18the body as it should.
31:19What's this dreadful business?
31:20Well, this is
31:23his final portrait,
31:25of course.
31:26The biggest boar
31:27in our community.
31:30This is not Leszek.
31:32Sure it is.
31:34It says so right there.
31:35It's me, Leszek.
31:37Am I reading it wrong?
31:39You are not,
31:40I'm afraid.
31:40And in honor
31:41of my husband's
31:42last wishes,
31:43you, young Pavel,
31:44will now host
31:45the Harvest Festival.
31:45Bravo!
31:48Father,
31:49the king
31:50will be attending
31:51the festival.
31:52We'll be ruined!
31:58Griselda,
31:58I would like
31:58the Harvest Festival
31:59is yours now.
32:02Do not fret,
32:03my dear.
32:04You'll move in with me
32:04when your dad goes broke.
32:06I must be!
32:12He found himself
32:13and his love.
32:13My bladder
32:28is about to burst.
32:32This year's festival
32:33is in Adam Chica.
32:35We are royally fucked.
32:43This year's festival
32:45is our freedom
32:47and our money
32:48is in Adam Chica.
32:50It says,
32:51as well as training
32:52will be
32:53it does.
32:55It says,
32:55if you're not
33:10it may raise
33:11in the stars
33:11matters
33:12of all,
33:12the film
33:13is their
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