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Cristela Alonzo returns to Netflix in her third stand-up special, Upper Classy. In this newest special, Cristela is in the pursuit of happiness. Whether finding out she’s doing better than her high school bully, visiting a spa and getting too much self-care, or taking her family on their first vacation ever, Cristela teaches her family (and herself) how to enjoy life, whether they like it or not. Cristela Alonzo: Upper Classy premieres globally on September 23, 2025 only on Netflix.

Watch on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81926804


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Transcript
00:00When I go to bed, I can't go to sleep.
00:02Like, I'm so connected to my phone
00:04that the moment I get into bed,
00:06my phone's like, yo, let's look up some stuff.
00:10What's the weather like in Detroit?
00:14An hour later, I want to go to sleep.
00:16My phone's like, not yet, girl, not yet.
00:20You remember Debbie?
00:24No, I don't.
00:26Eighth grade, you wore palace shoes.
00:28She called you poor.
00:29Where the hell is Debbie now?
00:35You can't go to bed until you know
00:36you're doing better than Debbie.
00:39I found her on LinkedIn.
00:41I got a profile on LinkedIn.
00:43She's not getting promoted under my watch.
00:59You're not going to be Frankfurt.
01:10You're not going to be near.
01:11I'll see you next time.
01:13I'm going to go to sleep.
01:17I don't know.
01:19I don't know.
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