- 2 months ago
Hoch tries Chipotle for the very first time and shares his honest review. Solana takes issue with his entire Chipotle experience and refuses to accept his take about pico de gallo.
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00:00i'm gonna say something unpopular here i know i'm gonna get criticized for this
00:04so i'm in tampa and uh i went to the the hotel here the renaissance it's attached to a shopping
00:14area and a very upscale mall and there's a food court and i've had avocado toast last couple
00:19days for lunch at nordstrom love little nordstrom lunch today i decided i'm gonna treat myself
00:25in the food court i'm gonna treat myself i don't normally eat heavy for lunch i don't think i've
00:32ever had chipotle before and that's the longest line in the food court yeah i'm not a chipotle guy
00:38i don't i don't understand the hubbub that's crazy so i get in the line how can you but just let me
00:43i'm gonna cut you off how can you not be a chipotle guy when you've never eaten chipotle before
00:49well that's why like i if i'm having um rice and chicken i'll get pollo tropical or chicken
00:58kitchen or mose just not a chipotle guy mose mose over chipotle yeah yeah they yell at you at the
01:07door you should have your head examined for that for that take i'm not even kidding so
01:11i went to chipotle today i got a bowl with rice beans chicken they have some like spicy corn thing
01:23that they put in there it's like corn and jalapenos and whatever just corn and no i asked them i said
01:30what's in there he said corn jalapenos he said it's our spicy corn it's just corn i literally just
01:35talked to the guy just corn it's not just corn spicy corn spicy corn it's got jalapenos in no it
01:45doesn't it just got corn okay the guy literally just told me all right well now i want to wager on
01:56this no no that's fine go i'm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt now i want to wager no no no now i want
02:00because to call to call that spicy corn you would literally never in your life have had something
02:08spicy to believe that that corn is spicy but that's fine i'm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt
02:12talk go ahead it's literally what the guy said to me i said what is that because there was a lot of
02:18green in the corn and he said that's our spicy corn topping it's got jalapenos in it okay
02:24okay have you ever gotten it yeah spicy corn man i've been eating i eat chipotle more than any
02:35other restaurant what i asked for a decade that and i get the corn every single time
02:42the salsa just yellow corn no i'm sure there's other stuff in it i always figured that was just
02:48like cilantro and and and you know there might be there might be some onion in the corn as well
02:56i don't know exactly but like i i just wouldn't call it spicy there might be peppers in it hawk but
03:02i wouldn't call that corn spicy at all they've got three sauces they've got like their pico de gallo
03:08which is their mild which is not spicy at all then they've got their medium hot sauce which is the red
03:14one and then they have the or i'm sorry the green one and then they have the hot one which is the red
03:19one those are spicy both of them are spicy these weren't sauces right the corn is just a topping
03:25it's not spicy correct it's called roasted chili corn roasted chili corn all right so there's some
03:32chilies and it's not spicy okay well i mean by definition chilies are spicy okay i'm sorry go ahead
03:40i didn't mean i didn't mean to derail you don't know that a chili is spicy i know that a chili is
03:48a pepper it doesn't mean it's spicy it doesn't mean it's spicy i'm sorry there's peppers that aren't
03:53spicy by definition chilies are spicy by definition if you think that the chipotle corn is spicy
04:03you're soft i'll say you're soft i don't think it's spicy i'm telling you what the guy who works
04:12at chipotle said ah what do they know the guys don't know anything i'm sorry line is it was terrible
04:19everything at chipotle was terrible the whole bowl was terrible really the rice was bad the chicken was
04:25bad the spicy corn was bad i don't understand what this love affair is with people in chipotle
04:33because it's not very good crazy they took lime you got to go to lime hawk no no i mean way better
04:42than chipotle lime limes are closing everywhere everywhere you know why because nothing like
04:48chipotle chipotle is unbelievable you're making things up what do you mean lime is closing everywhere
04:53all the limes all the limes around me have closed every single one dadeland kendall drive
04:59north kendall all of them have closed around me i'm not even y'all kendall kendall's kendall lens
05:03are goofy that's why you're going to chipotle every day because chipotle literally perfected
05:08mexican cantina food i mean it is the best rice in the game at chipotle it's not even close
05:15their their tortillas best rice the best white rice it's not white rice there's cilantro in it
05:23oh i mean here's the guy who goes it's not corn it's just corn
05:29it's literally called roasted chili corn salsa oh it's just corn i don't think you know what
05:38corn is hot what'd you get the chicken the steak what'd you get to eat chicken you got the chicken
05:45okay i got a chicken bowl you got a chicken bowl with the spicy corn and the beans and guacamole
05:52what beans did you get black or uh or pinto black beans yeah no oh you gotta go you gotta go pinto
05:59i don't know what else to tell you i mean that's your first mistake and then you did you get the
06:03side tortilla i didn't get anything other than the bowl i mean you get the side tortilla 25 cents and
06:11then did you get the uh the salad dressing you mix that with the sour cream you just didn't do it right
06:17you didn't do it right you didn't have sour cream i didn't have sour cream i didn't want sour cream i
06:22wanted a bowl with rice beans and chicken i went crazy because the guy was like hey it's a spicy corn
06:32so i said well that sounds like a good topping so i had that and then i had a scoop of guacamole
06:37because i love avocado i charge you eight dollars for that this is fajita guy he wants he wants a whole
06:43dance and shake with his meals would you get a bowl or do you get a burrito i get a bowl but i get the
06:50side tortilla and you get a big dollop of sour cream on the bowl no i never get the sour cream
06:56i never do you just told me i should have gotten the sour cream i didn't do it but you should like
07:01your first your first experience your very first experience at a restaurant at any restaurant like
07:07you shouldn't cut corners you should get everything that they have to offer everything
07:10you gotta get the sour cream what corners you know that guacamole calls me
07:16first time i went to joe's stone crab i made sure they put the sour cream on my on my claws
07:22anyway my greater point is i don't understand this love affair people have with chipotle i i was so
07:29underwhelmed by it it's decent oh lime's lime's better mose is different no way dude yeah that's
07:40disrespectful boy tropical makes a better bowl that's fair it's different though yeah it's
07:48different this is mexican food like pollo is not mexican food it's different right but this was rice
07:53black beans and chicken no i realized that but but like you went you went to a mexican restaurant
08:00and you're like hey i want what i get at pollo tropical and you were expecting it to taste the same
08:05and it's not going to because it's a different type of so it would have all been different if i got a
08:10tortilla on the side then i would have understood you got to get the fajitas the fajita peppers
08:16in your bowl that's that's a must at chipotle you should really go steak at chipotle the the fajita
08:25i'm sorry the tortilla on the side and you make your own burrito and then you've got a burrito bowl
08:30as well i mean it's it's genius why don't i make my own burrito and and going to a mexican
08:37restaurant whether it's fast casual cantina or like a legitimate restaurant and not getting the pico de
08:43gallo is is a a diabolical misstep by you just absolutely ridiculous like you have to get the pico
08:52in your bowl you want to know what my take on pico de gallo is it is like sprinkles on ice cream
08:58it adds nothing hawk i've been on your side it adds nothing pico de gallo is
09:08tasteless it's all tomato which tomato has no taste whatsoever it's a water-based uh vegetable i
09:14think tomatoes actually a fruit pico de gallo is a complete waste that is sprinkles on ice cream
09:21there's no reason for it to exist onions
09:26i love onions and there's onions in pico de gallo the tiniest ratio of onions in pico de gallo
09:36it's it really becomes just a big glop of tomato juice it's what it is it's tomato liquid
09:42it's tomato it's tomato puree yeah but it's
09:47so finely that it's just tomato puree i don't think you know what pico de gallo is now that
09:54we're breaking this down it's not a puree at all it's it's it's actual diced tomatoes tomato you think
09:59it's full tomato not a full tomato it's diced but you're talking about it as puree it's not a puree
10:04at all literally it's not it's because that's how it always ends up being it's just liquefied tomato
10:11where are you getting your pico de gallo pico de gallo can be eaten with a spoon
10:17like a soup it's pico de gallo is spaghetti sauce pico de gallo makes as much sense as putting spaghetti
10:26sauce on your rice i've never been more angry with you ever i've never been more angry i'm not
10:36afraid to call it out like it is i'm not afraid to to address reality on this show you're living in
10:42this uh you know this world where you're hypnotized oh people like chipotle so i have to like chipotle oh
10:49everyone likes pico de gallo so i must like pico de gallo oh people get sprinkles on their ice cream
10:56i have to get sprinkles on my ice cream oh people love miniature golf so i must love miniature golf
11:03oh people love girl scout cooking so i must love girl scout cooking i wake you up i wake you up i tell
11:11you things sometimes you don't want to hear and obviously you're gonna you're gonna recoil at the
11:16beginning i get it i understand that
11:19those who are awoken will have their eyes wide open those who do not get woken will look like solana
11:32i just looked up pico de gallo tomatoes onions and cilantro right and lime juice right i don't even
11:39like cilantro but i can fool with pico de gallo right but it doesn't add anything now especially when
11:45you look at the actual ingredients cilantro it's nothing so okay we're throwing parsley on something
11:51when's the last time you were dying for a piece of parsley on something like the first thing you do when
11:56parsley exists you take it off and put it to the side so now the cilantro is like parsley lime juice so
12:04what would juice connote something you drink liquidy what else are you going to add to the liquid more liquid
12:13liquefied tomatoes the only thing that give pico de gallo any kind of substance is the onions which is the
12:20best part of the pico de gallo but that's 25 of the ingredients the other 75 are garbage it's like oh
12:30you like chicken and rice and beans hey how about we pour some leftover tomato juice that we have in
12:36this canister that used to hold the tomatoes over the top of it you'd go no i don't want that well what
12:41if i call it pico de gallo i'm in this is infuriating see this is what happens when somebody
12:48goes somebody goes to a restaurant somebody goes to a restaurant they don't know what to order they
12:54don't seek advice they just got a burrito bowl they think is right i literally like not know what
13:00to order there's like four items on the chipotle menu how i like what what could i possibly order i
13:05didn't order a roasted chicken hawk you you you constructed the worst burrito bowl in the history
13:13of chipotle being open i'm surprised the guy didn't just kick you out with what you ordered this is
13:18like i took my fiancee to hungry bear iconic sub spot she scoured the menu for 20 minutes and said
13:26i'll have the raspberry chicken sub the guy didn't even know it existed he had to go to the back he
13:31pulled out a box like a little can of raspberry sauce had to dust off the dust from it and then
13:38she took two bites and said this sucks i hate hungry bear yeah because you you literally don't
13:44know what to order the chipotle i'm just curious what on the chipotle menu is equivalent to raspberries
13:50at the sub place the chicken the black beans or the rice it's everything that you left off first of
13:57all if you're getting the bowl you have to get the honey vinaigrette salad sauce like you you have to
14:04you pour that on top it literally is a game changer but you didn't get a salad what you have to put
14:10lettuce on the burrito bowl and then you pour that right on top it's it's fire the chipotle vinaigrette
14:16is fire unbelievable i don't think you know what you're doing at chipotle the more you talk
14:21he got raspberries trust me trust me he's got raspberries at his sub place i know chipotle i
14:28know chipotle been going there since i was uh a little lass i know chipotle hawk you didn't get
14:35a girl a lad is a boy i was just about to say that he said he hit it on the head hawk he hit it on the head
14:43he hit the little lass right on the head
14:53let him cook
14:59i told you guys i love salad
15:05i want the claude the haitian sensation text me he says lime better than chipotle all day chipotle
15:12is a cult i like lime lime it's delicious it's not better than chipotle though it's not
15:22i was 21 22 years i was young i just i think it's my first off season in the league
15:29and there was a girl that lived in austin texas and i went to visit her
15:34and now i know she couldn't cook but she wanted to cook for me
15:38so she had shrimp she marinated it in cilantro and then she had cilantro in the butter that she
15:46sautéed it in and then she had cilantro sprinkled on top
15:53and that's a terrible ingredient too such an overpowering
15:56to this day i get mad at cilantro because she made that one nasty ass meal of this triple cilantro
16:04shrimp but if you don't like pico de gallo then you don't like bruschetta when you go to an italian
16:13restaurant that's literally what they're putting on top of on top of like a little toast or a little
16:19a little bread yeah yeah i'm familiar with and thank thank you for the oh thank you for the
16:24instruction thank you familiar with chipotle thank you for the instruction man no no no i was familiar
16:30with what they had at chipotle i wasn't familiar with the tastes there's a there's a little bit of
16:35difference i don't know bruschetta it is uh pico de gallo essentially on top of a toasted bread
16:43yeah thank you because i was very confused by that uh bruschetta happens to be a ridiculous
16:50menu item as well you just don't like tomatoes right off the bread you don't like i don't like
16:56tomatoes you don't like i don't like diced tomatoes i absolutely do not like diced tomatoes
17:00i don't right but that's like me that's like me saying i'm a vegetarian oh that burger is awful i
17:06would never eat that burger like you don't like that at all i don't like tomatoes so i didn't get
17:12the pico de gallo okay that's fair but but you can't have this you can't have this like it's not fair
17:18you can't have this take on diced tomatoes and then say oh i don't like tomatoes okay
17:23yes you don't like what do you mean i can't you can't hate tomatoes i don't not eat tomatoes
17:30but i don't go out of my way to get the bruschetta tell me what's on that again
17:36if you don't like tomatoes then you're disqualified from a conversation about pico
17:41de gallo like you you shouldn't be involved in that conversation you don't like i love salsa
17:45as tomatoes yeah but it's it's liquefied tomatoes it's different no pico is okay and i like mango
17:58salsa by the way you know why mango cilantro which is the best terrible ingredient this damn lady ruined
18:05my life all right we got to get uh i knew it was going to annoy people but i had to share it
18:10it let's get uh we got to get headlines because dbj is going to join us so we'll get headlines from
18:16our little lass here solana brought to you by dural kia dural kia home of the pricey toe
18:22our lowest price visit them at dural kia or dural kia.com
18:31how quickly did you regret when i was a little lass
18:33i've never used that before but i watched the irishman last night on netflix
18:46the only thing i took from the irishman was at one point they said lassie
18:51and i just thought it meant a little kid well lad lad and the lass
18:56he's got three lads and one lass
19:07all right um marlins do play tonight and obviously tonight thursday night football ladies and gentlemen
19:15week two begins tonight the packers hosting great tags does this guy solana have shares in chipotle
19:22give it a rest man jesus i've never seen him gave up that way before it's going
19:33i love chipotle bro i am i couldn't tell if it's a cult like i'm in it i guess i love chipotle obvious
19:42because you think it's healthy and your your body dynamic is 25 whatever you said yeah maybe
19:50maybe if you guys ate more chipotle your metabolic age would be around how much how much does your
19:56metabolic age drop with every uh spoonful of sour cream
20:04get this metabolic age
20:10all right tonight's game is at 8 15 or 8 20 p.m
20:15packers hosting the commanders and los modelings play the nationals tonight
20:18as well final game between those two teams back to the guy who loves the mcrib but hates chipotle
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