- 3 weeks ago
Bf For Hire
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Grades, remodel boyfriend, it's all falling into place.
00:05Hey, Jake.
00:07What'd you want to talk about?
00:08We need to break up.
00:10What?
00:11Come on, Claire.
00:12Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:14But everything was going so well.
00:16I've been seeing someone else.
00:19It's okay, Claire.
00:20I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:22You'll find someone.
00:23You'll find someone.
00:26Claire.
00:28My jacket?
00:30See, it's cool.
00:45Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's got to stop.
00:49We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:52Exactly.
00:52Forget him.
00:53This is our senior year.
00:55Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
00:57I don't want to start fresh.
00:58I just want Jake back.
01:00Wait, wait, wait, wait, pause.
01:02You want to get back together with him?
01:04Of course I do.
01:05Even though he cheated on you.
01:08Even though he cheated on you.
01:11Everyone makes mistakes.
01:13Oh, okay.
01:13Look, sooner or later, he's going to realize how much he misses me.
01:17You know you're my best friend, right?
01:19Yeah.
01:19So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:24So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:31Really?
01:32Yeah.
01:33Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:34Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:36Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:38Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:41What is it?
01:42Operation Jealousy.
01:46Operation Jealousy.
01:47Yep, you got to make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging
01:51to get back together with you.
01:53Okay, and how do I do that?
01:56Simple.
01:56You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
01:59I don't know.
02:00Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:02Well, you need to trust me because it's going to work.
02:04Okay, well, how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:08Babe, it's 2020.
02:10You know that anything's possible.
02:12Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle
02:15where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:18Wait, how do you know about this?
02:20This is about you.
02:22This is about you.
02:23So.
02:25Okay, well, how does it work?
02:26Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:29And done.
02:30Now we just wait.
02:33Actually, hold on.
02:34I'm going to add a bio to make you seem a little bit more fun.
02:40Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:42Look at you right now.
02:45Okay, fair enough.
02:46Yeah.
02:49Oh, oh, whoa.
02:50You already have a match, dude.
02:52You have a match.
02:53And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:57Oh, my God, let me see.
02:59Swoonworthy.
03:00Yeah.
03:00Local athlete.
03:02He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:07Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:09Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:11You have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:13Oh.
03:15I'll take this.
03:16Let's see.
03:17Wait, what are you doing?
03:18Uh, done.
03:21You're meeting him today.
03:24Today?
03:24Yeah.
03:25Like, this today.
03:26This one.
03:27So, let's get dressed.
03:29Zoe!
03:30Yeah!
03:30Zoe!
03:31Come on!
03:31That is too soon!
03:43Damon!
03:44Hey.
03:45I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:48No, it ended.
03:49I just got back into town.
03:51Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:53I guess I'll see you there.
03:55Um, no.
03:57Actually, we broke up.
03:58Oh.
03:59Oh, man.
03:59I'm sorry to hear that.
04:01Thanks.
04:02Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:05Yeah, you too.
04:05You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:30You don't have to wait.
04:31Thank you, though.
04:32I'm not.
04:33I'm actually...
04:34I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:36Do you have to do it right here?
04:38It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:44I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:46Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:48Drama Queen 2020?
04:55Oh, man.
04:56What?
04:57This is epic.
04:57This is a mistake.
04:58Look, forget about everything.
05:00You can even keep the money.
05:01Oh, no, no, no.
05:01You can't get away that easy.
05:02Please, don't tell Jake about this.
05:05Okay, I won't tell him.
05:07And I'll do you one better.
05:09I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:13What?
05:13That's why you're in the app, right?
05:17I just wanted to hire someone for a day to, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:21Great, I'm in.
05:22No, look, we can't do that.
05:24He's your brother.
05:25Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:28I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:31No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:35Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:38Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:40No, forget it.
05:41Look, I'll find someone else.
05:42Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:48Come on, you want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:51It's a win-win.
05:53Hmm?
05:56Fine.
05:57But we follow my plan.
05:58No improvising.
06:00Yes, ma'am.
06:02So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:04Tomorrow night.
06:06That's his birthday party.
06:08Exactly.
06:08That's his birthday party.
06:11Exactly.
06:14Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:17Will you please answer the question?
06:20Jeez, take it easy.
06:22I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:25You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:28Okay, okay, yeah.
06:29What was the question?
06:30Where did we go on our first date?
06:32We had a magical night at the movies.
06:38Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:40Yes, they do.
06:42Isn't that kind of lame?
06:43It's not lame.
06:44It's believable.
06:45Now, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:52What epic love story we've been dating for like a week.
06:58Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:04Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:06I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:10Fine.
07:11Love it.
07:12Second sight.
07:13Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:17I'm getting Jake back.
07:18He cheated on you.
07:19It was a mistake.
07:20Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:23Wow.
07:24How romantic.
07:25You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:29Real relationships never work.
07:32That's why I'm on the app.
07:34With the fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:40How romantic.
07:44Well, I gotta go.
07:46I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:49Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:51How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
07:55Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
07:57Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
07:59Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:03I mean, have some fun.
08:05When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:07I have plenty of fun.
08:09Yeah?
08:09Yeah, that's fun.
08:11That's almost too fun.
08:14Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:22Nope.
08:23No more of that.
08:25Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:27What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:29You already look amazing with that.
08:31You can save the theatrics for now.
08:33We're not at the party yet.
08:34No, I'm serious.
08:35You look beautiful.
08:37You always do.
08:41I guess I'm just nervous.
08:43Don't worry.
08:44I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:45I promise.
08:46You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:49And you're already way out of his league.
08:50Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:53When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
08:58And you're ridiculously smart.
09:01You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:04You still have time for math leads.
09:05I can't believe you know all that.
09:10I always thought you just ignored me.
09:12You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:13I had to keep my distance.
09:14But I still pay attention.
09:17You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:22Damon Coral.
09:23Hey, careful.
09:25I have a reputation doable.
09:27No, I'm serious.
09:28I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:32I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:38Claire?
09:41We're here.
09:42People are looking.
10:02Why are they looking?
10:03They're looking because you're with me.
10:04When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:07We're here.
10:37I'm going to give this drinks.
10:47I'll be right back.
10:56Okay, wow, wow, wow.
10:57It looks like things are heating up.
10:58I know, right?
10:59It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:02Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:04What?
11:05You and the town party.
11:07No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:13You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:15Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:20Oh my God, there he is.
11:23Oh my God, there he is.
11:24See, he can't be over me.
11:25Look at his face.
11:27Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:32So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:38He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:43It's time to AF this party up.
11:52Did someone say never have I ever?
11:53Woo!
11:54Thank you!
11:56Let's play.
11:59I don't think that's a good idea.
12:01Come on, it'll be fun.
12:02So wait, why don't you go first?
12:15Never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:22Ooh, cute.
12:25Now let's see.
12:27Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:32Ooh, cute.
12:36Now let's see.
12:39Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:46Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:50Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:53Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
12:57Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Face it, Claire.
13:07You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:12Claire.
13:13Claire.
13:18Seriously, Claire?
13:19You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:21No, I didn't do anything.
13:22It was Chelsea.
13:23Don't blame Chelsea.
13:25You're just jealous.
13:28You know what?
13:30You two deserve each other.
13:33Hey, dude.
13:34Are you okay?
13:35Cause that game was brutal.
13:37And where did Damon run off to?
13:40I don't know.
13:41He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night.
13:43And I thought we were...
13:44Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:47Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:51No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little
13:56box, it all comes crashing down around me.
13:59And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where, probably
14:04setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:07So, yeah, I'm, I'm done planning.
14:12Plans can suck it.
14:13All right.
14:14I'm sorry.
14:15I ran out like that.
14:16I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:19Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:28Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:31Of course.
14:32What?
14:32Wait, wait, wait.
14:33Where are you going?
14:35Home.
14:35And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:38I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:40Hey, talk to me.
14:42You just left me in there.
14:45I know.
14:45I'm sorry.
14:46I wasn't thinking.
14:47I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:49Look, you were right.
14:50Jake's an ass.
14:51So, the plan, this, it's over.
14:57What if I don't want it to be over?
14:59What if I don't want it to be over?
15:02You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:06Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:10What?
15:11I deactivated my account.
15:13Why would you do that?
15:15Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:16You're not just another number, okay?
15:19You never were.
15:21I don't want a fake date with you anymore, all right?
15:26I want a real one.
15:32I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:36Well, maybe I realize that you're the rest worth taking.
15:40Come on.
16:02Slapshot 239.
16:05Take me home.
16:10Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:13Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:17They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:18Okay, I am trusting the process.
16:22I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:24You never got a date, right?
16:26No date.
16:27But Damon's really not coming?
16:29I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:32Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have
16:37ever seen.
16:39No way.
16:40I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:43And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:46I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will
16:50do if I win.
16:51Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:54At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
16:58Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:02Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:06Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:09Shocker.
17:10Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:14I don't even remember.
17:15You know, gossip travels.
17:18That looks pretty good.
17:20But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:23It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:29Yes, Damon.
17:31My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school
17:36dance.
17:37I mean, at least he's hot.
17:40So hot.
17:41It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:46Um, not that weird.
17:48We haven't talked in a while.
17:49Why?
17:50I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:51As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
17:54it was over before it began.
17:57Jay-Zoe.
17:58Well, more Zoe for me.
18:05Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:07Oh, it's Damon!
18:10Oh, it's Damon!
18:11Or should I say Claremont?
18:14Can I call you back to finish this?
18:15Yeah, you can.
18:17Claremont.
18:18But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:20Okay.
18:20Bye!
18:21Hey, beautiful.
18:24What's up with your eyes?
18:26Not finished yet.
18:28You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:31Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:33Ah, yes.
18:35I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:38My sincerest apologies.
18:40Your royalness.
18:41I know how you can make it up to me.
18:43Nope.
18:44Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:47You're not gonna be alone.
18:48I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:50Oh, plus, if you listen very carefully,
18:53I bet you can hear Jake.
18:54Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
18:57Dude is pumped.
18:58Yeah, because dances are super fun,
19:01and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:03Yeah, for now.
19:04What do you mean?
19:06Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:08I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:10Why could that be?
19:11Because yours truly got nominated, and she didn't?
19:16Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:18I bet that is it.
19:20She's gonna be so pissed if I win.
19:23Queen for the night.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win.
19:27Queen for the night.
19:29And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:31because I would have to play in prom,
19:33and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen,
19:36and then...
19:36I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:40How could she not be?
19:43Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:47It's lame.
19:47Easy for you to say.
19:48You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:51I get that this seems like a big deal to you now,
19:54but I promise when you get out of high school,
19:55you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
19:59Wow.
20:00And, uh,
20:01you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:05No, I'm not talking about her.
20:06You know, come to think of it,
20:07if you both are so mature,
20:09maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:11get a cheese board,
20:12and, you know,
20:13talk about all the super important adult stuff
20:17that actually matters.
20:19Oh, look.
20:20Someone my age is calling.
20:22I didn't mean...
20:23Claire!
20:23Bye.
20:31I need to fix this.
20:33Hey, Jake.
20:35Claire!
20:35Hey, um,
20:37thanks for picking up.
20:40Whoa.
20:41Did Zoe do this to you?
20:43It's a work in progress.
20:44What's up?
20:45Cool.
20:46Um,
20:47I just wanted to call you
20:49and touch base
20:51and just, you know,
20:53make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
20:57You mean if we win?
20:59Oh, we're gonna win.
21:02Is Chelsea gonna be upset
21:04when we win?
21:07If, um,
21:08if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:11Oh, texting someone else?
21:13It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:16That would suck.
21:17Look, Claire,
21:18I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but
21:22I really am sorry.
21:26I didn't mean to hurt you,
21:27and if I could take it back,
21:29I would.
21:32It's fine.
21:33It's fine.
21:34Just,
21:35at least she'll be there.
21:37Damon won't even come.
21:38Yeah,
21:40I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:43I mean, like,
21:44we always had a great time.
21:45I know.
21:46It's a chance to get, like,
21:48dressed up and have fun
21:49and make grand romantic gestures.
21:52Jinx!
21:52Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
21:59Whoa.
22:00Is that the dress that you've been seeing since freshman year?
22:03Yeah.
22:04I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:09And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance
22:12where we aren't going together.
22:15Yeah.
22:16You neither.
22:16I hope we win
22:21so we at least get one dance together.
22:24Well, how about either way,
22:26we make it happen.
22:28One dance before the night's over.
22:30Deal.
22:32As long as you promise not to step on my dress
22:34like you did junior year.
22:35That was sophomore year.
22:36It was both.
22:40Fine.
22:42As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:45What?
22:45You mean,
22:46this one?
22:48Oh, God.
22:49My eyes!
22:50Stop it!
22:51My eyes!
22:56What?
22:56Like, you can do better?
22:57Oh, come on.
22:59Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:01Let's see.
23:02By all means.
23:03Oh, uh, sorry.
23:21Chelsea's calling me.
23:22I should get it.
23:24I'll see you later?
23:25Yeah, yeah.
23:27See ya.
23:27Hello?
23:28Hello?
23:29Hello?
23:29Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:47I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:51Wow.
23:52You look incredible.
23:54Thanks.
23:55Are you...
23:56Are you going somewhere?
23:57Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:01Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:04I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and...
24:07I don't know.
24:09I really wanted you to be there.
24:10Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:11I...
24:12I should have known how important it was to you.
24:14It's okay.
24:15God, how do you...
24:17How do you do this?
24:18You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:23If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:27Is this going to match your dress?
24:29You're coming?
24:31And you got me a corsage?
24:33Is that against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:36I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:38Are you crying for me?
24:40Just kidding.
24:41What?
24:42Nothing.
24:42Nothing.
24:44I'm just talking to myself.
24:45Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:48Come on, Claire, we got a homecoming to get to, and I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:55Okay.
24:57Okay.
24:58Okay.
25:02No.
25:04Oh.
25:07Oh.
25:08This part always gets me.
25:15Yes!
25:17Yes.
25:17Yes.
25:18It is.
25:18It's so sad.
25:20Are you watching hockey right now?
25:22What?
25:22No.
25:24No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:28Come on, babe.
25:29Tell me some slack.
25:30It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:32This is a classic, Damon.
25:34Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:36The classic's just code for old.
25:38I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:41Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:44Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to the party later.
25:52Uh-huh.
25:54Crap.
25:55Crap, crap, crap.
25:58Um, Nico guitar flames is calling, who's that?
26:02I-I completely forgot I have a lesson now.
26:08Is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately?
26:13Hey, my favorite student!
26:15And my favorite student's... friend?
26:19We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:23Oh yes! I see you took my recommendation.
26:26Such a classic.
26:29Boyfriend.
26:31What?
26:32I'm not her friend, I'm her boyfriend.
26:34Oh, lucky guy.
26:36Who was just leaving.
26:38Hi Demon!
26:39I mean, I can stay.
26:41I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:43But no! I-I mean...
26:46No! No!
26:47She's right. Music is so personal.
26:50So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:53Or three.
26:54Oh no, almost never three.
26:59Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:01Love? Who said?
27:03I-I don't... we...
27:05I-I... we don't... um...
27:08Have you ever been in love?
27:10Of course!
27:12Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:16I mean, not a... not a bunch of times.
27:19The normal amount of times.
27:21There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know?
27:25There's just... there's a lot of stress and then you don't know who should say it first or when you should say it or if they'll ever say it back and...
27:34Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:42Should we begin?
27:44Should we begin?
27:46Yeah!
27:47Damon?
27:48Hey, Zoe! What's up? How are you doing?
27:49I'm good.
27:50That's awesome! I'm... I'm also good.
27:51You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks, coming home tomorrow.
28:08So, here's a funny little question for ya.
28:12Claire's guitar teacher.
28:16Nico... yeah.
28:19He's not even that good looking, like at all.
28:21Oh no, he's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:26I just think it's... it's weird.
28:28You know, we... she's doubled her lessons while I've been away and we're watching movies they both like.
28:34Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:39I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:42Zoe.
28:44Okay, I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:50I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
28:55I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it. I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:00Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:05Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:08If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:13Jake?
29:14Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:18Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friend, Zoe. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:23Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:27Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow? Look, it's on that.
29:30Yeah. Thanks now. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:43Hey, birthday boy.
29:45Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:47He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:50I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
29:56Yeah, let's keep it that way.
29:58So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:01Kidding.
30:02Obviously.
30:03Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:06Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:09Probably not.
30:10Oh, that's right. She started signing with Nico.
30:12Wait, you know Nico?
30:14Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:21What do you mean you set them up?
30:23Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn.
30:26So, I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:29Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:32Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:35That's not, that's not true. I listen.
30:39Whatever.
30:41Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:46Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:50I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:53What exactly wouldn't I understand? What exactly wouldn't I understand?
30:58Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's going to ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:08But we have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:13Oh yeah, but what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:19Seriously though, Damon, hockey is like your one true love and it's kind of boring.
31:24I love other things.
31:26Like what?
31:27Like Claire. And I don't want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob, alright?
31:36Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:50So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:55Yeah. That's actually not terrible advice.
31:59Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:01Gee, thanks a lot.
32:03So, what are you still doing here?
32:06Go before she hires Sneeko to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:09Bye!
32:11So, what are you still doing here?
32:13Go before she hires Sneeko to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:17Bye!
32:18Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:20Thanks, bye.
32:21Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:22Thanks, bye.
32:23Hey!
32:24I was just gonna call you.
32:25You're all dressed up.
32:26Damon.
32:27Um, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:30And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:40Okay.
32:41You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye, you're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye, you're the apple of my eye.
33:08You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry, like you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:22I have to say, I-
33:26I love you.
33:29I love you too.
33:32Moment Stealer.
33:34I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:36I love you so much, Claire.
33:38And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:41You talked to Zoe?
33:42Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry.
33:45And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:48Huh.
33:49I love.
33:50And I talked to Chelsea.
33:52Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:53I don't know, she sucks.
33:55But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
33:58I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:01I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:05Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:07Just, no subtitles.
34:09Deal?
34:10Deal.
34:11Okay.
34:12Babe?
34:14Yeah?
34:15Do you think I could finish my song?
34:17I work really hard on it.
34:19Yes, please.
34:26Blue-white baby as bright as the sky.
34:29Hit it in the clouds and then we felt so high.
34:32Think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:36Have to say, I love you.
34:51Did you change your pillowcases?
34:54No.
34:55Claire, do not leave them there.
34:56That looks like trash.
34:58Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:01Not really, but yeah.
35:03Did you get the champagne?
35:05Yes.
35:06Chocolates?
35:07Rose petals?
35:08Massage oils?
35:09Scented candles?
35:10All of that?
35:11Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:14I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:16One, Damon's been in your room.
35:18And two, you're not a virgin.
35:20I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:22True.
35:23That's awkward.
35:25Is there a term for that?
35:27Sleeping with brothers.
35:30Please, do not ever Google that.
35:35Ever.
35:36You're not helping.
35:37So, look, this is a big night.
35:40After tonight, that's it.
35:42What do you mean this is it?
35:43Like, me and Damon.
35:45There's no going back.
35:46Going back to what?
35:48To Jake?
35:49Have you guys been talking or something?
35:51No.
35:52Not talking.
35:53Just...
35:54I don't know.
35:55We dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:00And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:06About time.
36:07She dragged that on long enough.
36:09What's that supposed to mean?
36:11Nothing, Claire.
36:12I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:15You're good.
36:16You think they'll talk about it?
36:17Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:20Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:21I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:24Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake.
36:27Think about all that experience.
36:29Why would you say that?
36:31So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:34God, I'm leaving with so many girls.
36:37What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:40God, he thinks a lot.
36:42Just what I needed.
36:43That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:47Oh, it's Damon.
36:49Wish me luck.
36:50Bye.
36:56Hey.
36:59You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless,
37:03and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:08You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless,
37:13and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:16Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:18Bad news?
37:19No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:23Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:29Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:32So you remember.
37:33She's back.
37:34Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:36I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:38Do you mind if I rain check?
37:39Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:46Hmm, let me think about that.
37:48I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise, she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures,
37:53and she's leaving again in like a week.
37:55Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
37:57Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:03Actually, uh, do not.
38:06She is the literal girl version of you.
38:08That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:10Trust me, it's strictly a friend hang.
38:12I don't know.
38:13I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:15You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:17Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:19I'm being serious.
38:21We both have exes, Claire.
38:22Come on.
38:23Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:26Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:29Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:31I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:33I was hoping this could be our special-
38:37She's here, I gotta go.
38:38Love you.
38:39I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
38:56Ha ha.
38:57Funny.
38:58You know what else is funny?
39:00Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:02Wow.
39:03Which one?
39:04Please don't say Natasha.
39:06Huh.
39:07Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:11Thailand.
39:12And just for the year, sadly.
39:15Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense,
39:18and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:21Claire, she's an influencer.
39:23Not a comic book villain.
39:24Same difference.
39:25Okay.
39:26Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:28Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:31He showered.
39:33Okay.
39:34He's pretty.
39:35He does that.
39:37Anything else?
39:38I-I trust Damon.
39:39I don't trust her.
39:41Shit.
39:42She just posted a story.
39:43I-I can't look at it.
39:44She'll know.
39:45She has 80,000 followers.
39:46She's not gonna see your name.
39:47I can't look, Zoe.
39:48You look.
39:49What is it?
39:50Are they-are they kissing?
39:51Are they back together?
39:52Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:05Why would you have me look at that?
40:09Ugh!
40:10This is it.
40:11They're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:20You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:24Ugh.
40:25Again, with them not helping.
40:26But this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:28I-I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:29But you're being insane!
40:33Damon loves you!
40:34He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:36Did you see the photo?
40:38He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:43They're not snuggling.
40:44And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:50You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:56What's going on?
40:58Why aren't you taking my side on this?
41:00Nothing's wrong with me.
41:02I'm just saying that, like...
41:04Whatever.
41:05I gotta go.
41:06Don't trip.
41:06I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:21Hi.
41:22Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:24What?
41:25Nothing.
41:27Where are you?
41:28I thought you were hanging out with Natanian.
41:30Uh, yeah, I was.
41:31But, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:34What happened?
41:35Nothing.
41:36What?
41:36Nothing.
41:37Nothing, nothing?
41:38Or something, nothing?
41:40You were right.
41:42That was a bad idea.
41:43It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:46She hasn't changed at all.
41:47I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:51Wait.
41:53You kissed?
41:54No.
41:54No, she tried.
41:55Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
41:57I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
41:59Did you want to kiss her?
42:01No way.
42:02Are you kidding?
42:02You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:04Like, ever.
42:05Why don't you say that to my face?
42:09Why don't you let me up?
42:10I'm outside.
42:12You're here?
42:13Wait, are you sure?
42:15I only have 700 followers.
42:17Please.
42:17You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:19What?
42:21100%.
42:22But do I see some black silk under there?
42:25I'm much more interested in that.
42:27Come on.
42:27Let me up.
42:28Come on.
42:28Come on.
42:28Let me up.
42:30Keep going now.
42:36Target zone for the tree.
42:37Punch it right for the front of the face.
42:38Palms are down.
42:39Elbows are tight.
42:41There we go.
42:43Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:47Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:50That's awesome.
42:51And he took me out for breakfast.
42:54Did I say that already?
42:55Like four times.
42:56Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
42:59Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:02How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:06Damon's talking about how...
43:07Let's go.
43:07Uppercuts.
43:08Target zone.
43:08Where is it?
43:09Underneath the chin.
43:10Elbows pay to the body.
43:11Now.
43:13Wow.
43:14That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:18Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:20Not mad.
43:20I'm just tired.
43:22Well, we can pause it.
43:24I mean, no, Claire.
43:25I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:30I don't know what you're talking about.
43:32You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:35And then Damon came.
43:36And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:39And now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:44We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:46I am your best friend.
43:47No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:51I am your best friend.
43:52No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:01I mean...
44:02Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:08Oh, my God.
44:09What?
44:10Zoe, are you okay?
44:11Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:14I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:23You can talk to me about anything.
44:25This is so exciting.
44:26Who is it?
44:27It's not important.
44:28What do you mean it's not important?
44:30I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:33Come on.
44:34She didn't steal anything.
44:35It just kind of happened.
44:37I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:44Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:48I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:52Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
44:56I don't know.
44:58I don't know what we are.
45:00It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:04But, I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:09What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:11Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:15I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:19What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:21Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:25Hold on.
45:27You're dating Chelsea?
45:29Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:33Are you kidding me?
45:34We hate Chelsea!
45:35You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:38Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:41We care about me, right?
45:42So, you're the other woman now.
45:44That's not fair.
45:45Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:48I'm sorry, what?
45:49She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:54Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
45:57Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
45:58Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:01Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the
46:06she-devil herself.
46:08I would have talked you out of it.
46:09You don't even know her, Claire.
46:11Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:13And whose fault is that?
46:15Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:19But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your
46:23high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:27I'm over it.
46:28Well, that went well.
46:40Uh-oh.
46:41How bad?
46:42If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:49Gross.
46:50I'm sorry, babe.
46:51I know it couldn't happen easy.
46:53But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her.
46:56That feels like a small win.
46:58I guess.
46:59I don't know.
46:59It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:03Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally
47:08respect that.
47:09I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:15Cool.
47:17Cool.
47:17Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:25I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited
47:30for me.
47:32Whatever.
47:34I don't need her.
47:35I have you.
47:36As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much
47:41history to throw it away.
47:42But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:44Yeah, it's active.
47:45Babe, I'm serious.
47:48You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:51being the needy one.
47:52Babe, I'm serious.
47:54You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:58being the needy one.
47:59Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:02They're done.
48:04I'm over it.
48:05I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason
48:09with Claire, you just bottled up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up
48:13for yourself.
48:13Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon
48:19did that.
48:20So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you
48:25were feeling?
48:25Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:30Maybe.
48:32Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:36Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:42Bad habit.
48:45Alright, let me figure this out.
48:48Okay, call me back.
48:50Bye.
48:50Hey, what's going on?
48:55Chelsea?
48:56Did I open a curse box?
48:57Was I a serial killer in a past life?
48:59What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:04She hasn't dated me.
49:05I will literally murder.
49:07She hasn't dated me.
49:08I will literally murder.
49:10Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:13Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:15Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:16No, do you?
49:19No?
49:20Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:24I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:25Didn't she set you up with Nico?
49:27Yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:31Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:35What?
49:37Nothing.
49:38I just...
49:38I hope you weren't like this for Zoe.
49:40I think it's cool.
49:41Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:44So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:49Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:52Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:55Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
49:57No, no.
49:58I just...
49:59I think it's...
50:01Maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:02Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:06Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:08She's the chillest person I know.
50:10I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:11You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:15I was wrong.
50:17You're still very cute, though.
50:19And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:21Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:26Don't hold your breath.
50:27Okay.
50:31I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:36You got this.
50:37I'm proud of you.
50:39And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:44Of course. You got this.
50:52Pick up. Please pick up.
50:56Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:00I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:07I messed up.
51:09You messed up big time.
51:10I know. I freaked. I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:17But that doesn't matter. Because this isn't about me.
51:22Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:25Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:30I think she might be my person.
51:34If you're happy, I'm happy. Truly.
51:39Look, I love you, so...
51:41You're my best friend.
51:43And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:52You know there's an app for that?
51:54Best friend for hire?
51:56Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:01I checked.
52:06I'm sorry too.
52:07I should've told you way sooner.
52:10It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:14And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:18If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:23Wait... Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:29But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:33Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:39Well, let's just say last night wasn't just... your special night?
53:03We're not allowed and we're going to be all that bad.
53:20And we're going to be all that bad.
53:25We're going to be all that bad, but I'm happy with you and I'm sure you could go for it.
Recommended
53:00
|
Up next
53:00
1:08:04
1:15:08
55:59
1:37:42
1:45:13
1:27:48
1:08:05
1:45:38
1:49:53
43:17
43:11
1:59:03
2:22:13
1:20:55
42:40
35:52
1:59:55
1:52:33
44:59
1:59:59
34:08
1:19:42
Be the first to comment