- 6 weeks ago
Holiday Engagement
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:05What?
00:07Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go
00:11and do what I need to do
00:12and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody
00:15who's out saving dogs and cats.
00:17God knows what else.
00:20Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh?
00:24I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:27A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office,
00:29and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do with Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused
00:40and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions,
00:45but it's for the best of both of us.
00:49I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:57What did I pick up?
00:59Mistake.
01:03Just, I have to get this.
01:06Just, just, just.
01:07Go for camera.
01:10No, no, no.
01:10That is exactly how you...
01:11He's a jerk.
01:15I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right.
01:18Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:21All right, it's time to pick the winner
01:22for this week's KJWM weekly holiday vacation giveaway.
01:26And the lucky winner is...
01:28Hillary Burns.
01:28Oh, my God, you won.
01:31We are finally in the running for a trip to Mexico.
01:33It could be our honeymoon.
01:35What?
01:36All of my sisters found perfect men,
01:38and I can't even get one in the door.
01:41Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now,
01:44to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone.
01:48I just can't face it.
01:49I can't do it.
01:49Not now.
01:50Okay.
01:51Look, all you have to do,
01:54just post this with a flirty little intro video
01:57of your pretty face, and voila.
01:58All you have to do is click.
02:00I'll help you do the video.
02:02You really think it's a good idea
02:04to bring a stranger home,
02:06or possibly a psycho,
02:07to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:09Hillary, I just wanted you to know
02:12I planned a small family gathering at the house
02:15for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:18Of course, if he preferred, why?
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25My name is Hillary.
02:27I need to hire a fake fiancé
02:29to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive
02:33two free first-class tickets
02:34to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro,
02:39post it to this page,
02:40and we'll get back to you.
02:45Whoa!
02:46What?
02:47Who is it?
02:47Come in.
02:47I can't believe it.
02:50Look at all of these.
02:56All right.
02:57Mexico has got some sweetest waves, man.
03:01I mean, after the weekend's over here,
03:02we can just serve,
03:03sign,
03:04serve,
03:05eat,
03:06serve,
03:06and then serve some more.
03:08I do have irritable bowel syndrome.
03:10So really,
03:11you need to get to Mexico.
03:12I knew this was a bad idea.
03:33Come over here.
03:34No.
03:35No.
03:36No.
03:37I don't like him.
03:37Come on.
03:38Just talk to him.
03:39He's cute.
03:39He kind of looks like Jason.
03:41Hello.
03:42Hi.
03:42Is everything okay over there?
03:43Depending on what you mean by okay,
03:45everything's great.
03:47Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?
03:48Oh, okay.
03:50My name is David.
03:51I'm an actor.
03:52Hey, wait.
03:52I know you.
03:54Hey, wait.
03:54I know you.
03:55You're the cell phone guy in the costume.
04:00That's just sad.
04:01He's our first interview.
04:02Come on.
04:03Let's go.
04:04Hi.
04:05Excuse me.
04:05Oh.
04:06I'm sorry.
04:07I'm sorry.
04:09Hi.
04:10I said acting is my full-time job,
04:12and today I'm playing the Lord's cell phone.
04:14Oh, crap.
04:15I knew it.
04:16Come on.
04:16We got to go back to Seattle.
04:17That's right.
04:18And you're the reporter?
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was sorry to hear about the newspaper shutting down.
04:23Did you lose your job, or...?
04:25What do you think?
04:26Right.
04:27Sorry.
04:28Obvious.
04:29For what it's worth,
04:31I got fired playing a big red cell phone, so...
04:34Oh, I'm sorry.
04:36Don't be.
04:36You could help me save my very last red dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job
04:41playing a fake fiancé for a weekend,
04:44I should probably call it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow face-to-face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:51Hey.
04:52Okay.
04:52So, I Facebooked him.
04:54He hasn't responded.
04:55And when you Google him,
04:56the only thing that comes up
04:58are a few photos of him on Flickr
04:59with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:02So, looks like he's not a psycho.
05:04He's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06You sound like my agent.
05:07Oh.
05:08Hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:12Great.
05:15Hi.
05:15Hi.
05:18So, I checked out?
05:20Yeah, seems like it.
05:21Do you think that Jason
05:23is more of a corporate lawyer type or...
05:25Corporate?
05:26What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:30We'll take my car.
05:31Okay.
05:31Okay, I'm gonna find you on Facebook,
05:33accept my request,
05:34click on all my family photo albums,
05:36memorize all the names,
05:37everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:41Well, I guess I'll pick you up here,
05:43tomorrow, 8 a.m. sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:47Okay.
05:51Um.
05:55Sorry, I don't know what's going on here
05:57with the thing, the hair.
06:00I'll take care of it.
06:01Yeah?
06:02Okay.
06:08Guess I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:20You clean up real good.
06:22You look nice yourself.
06:26And don't forget,
06:27my parents are very excited
06:28that you are a lawyer.
06:29About that.
06:31I don't know if I'm gonna be able
06:32to pull that off.
06:34You're an actor.
06:35Act.
06:41Okay, hit me with the family breakdown.
06:43Okay.
06:43Uh, Meredith.
06:45Mother, housewife extraordinaire.
06:47Roy, dad, and councilman.
06:49Uh, your youngest sister is Trish.
06:51Joy.
06:52Right, right.
06:52Trish is the middle one.
06:53And, uh, her husband is Gil.
06:55And Joy's fiance's name is?
06:56Uh, John.
06:58Paul.
06:59Peter.
06:59You gotta get these straight.
07:00They're all gonna be at the party.
07:02Party?
07:02Yeah, it's no big deal.
07:03Just family.
07:04How long were you and Jason engaged?
07:06Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:08We were engaged for two.
07:10Wow.
07:11What happened?
07:13He's, uh, he's under a lot of pressure.
07:16Really stressed.
07:16He got this big job promotion offer
07:18in Pittsburgh.
07:19So.
07:20Oh, look.
07:20Here we are.
07:21Here we are.
07:25Okay.
07:25Just remember, say as little as possible
07:27and follow my lead.
07:27Here we go.
07:30Here we go.
07:32Here we go.
07:34Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:35You're finally here.
07:37Oh, sweetie.
07:38Come here.
07:39Come here.
07:42Huh?
07:42Uh, you know, you could wash that car
07:45every once in a while.
07:46What about Jason's Tesla?
07:48I wanted to ride in that.
07:50Oh, that was my fault.
07:51I wanted to save my mileage,
07:53so we took the Jetta instead.
07:54Oh, well.
07:55Well, at least we finally get to meet Jason.
07:59Oh.
08:01You're practically part of the family now.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Okay, well, let's go in.
08:05Okay.
08:06Everybody's looking forward to meeting you.
08:10Okay, come on in here.
08:12Oh, my God.
08:14I thought you said this was family only.
08:16Well, I didn't want the whole town to think
08:18that you were going to be a spinster forever.
08:21Everyone, this is Hillary's fiancé, Jason.
08:25Hi.
08:26Hi.
08:26How's it going?
08:27Oh, Steve.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:30Oh, Jason?
08:31Yeah.
08:32You were that firm that's defending that schmuck, Shorman.
08:35Shorman?
08:36Yeah, man, he's as guilty as they come, if you ask me.
08:38Filking all those suckers out of their life savings.
08:41You know, Frank, I think everybody's considered innocent
08:43until proven guilty.
08:45I mean, isn't that right?
08:46Jason?
08:47Jason?
08:48Yeah.
08:50Mr. Burns.
08:51Call me Roy.
08:51Yes.
08:52Pleasure to meet you, Roy.
08:53You know what they say?
08:54How does it feel to be defending a crook like that?
08:57Well, I...
08:57You know what?
08:58Frank?
08:59Why don't you get yourself some eggnog?
09:00I just whipped up a fresh batch.
09:02That's what I'm talking about.
09:03Thanks, bud.
09:04Frank just comes for the eggnog.
09:05Yeah.
09:06So, listen, what kind of cases do you do?
09:08Do you do, I don't know, fraud or extortion or money laundering?
09:13Uh, yeah.
09:13Yeah, I do all of those.
09:15Come on, Dad.
09:16Leave poor Jason alone.
09:17He's spent enough time in the office already.
09:19Yeah, I do all that lawyering.
09:22Do you play?
09:23Uh, yes, but quite badly.
09:25Oh, that would be great.
09:27Mind if I...
09:28Oh.
09:31You know, when Hillary was young, she used to sing.
09:35Oh?
09:35Mm-hmm.
09:36No.
09:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
09:46Okay, everybody, it's time to show the engagement ring.
09:50Wait till you see this beauty.
09:53Ta-da!
09:53Uh...
09:54So...
09:55I, I, I, I...
09:57I, I, I...
10:01I want to open the ring.
10:03I, I, I...
10:04I want to open the ring.
10:04That, that, that's a funny story, actually, right, sweetie?
10:08It turns out Hillary lost a few pounds, and the ring doesn't fit her anymore.
10:12Right.
10:12And this morning, she's taking a shower.
10:14She gets out of the shower, and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet.
10:18She calls me hysteric.
10:19Crazy.
10:20I was crazy.
10:21Crazy.
10:21She was, she was freaking out.
10:23I get there.
10:23So, what do I do?
10:25I've got to man up, right, Roy?
10:26Yeah.
10:26I've got to do it.
10:27I, I, I...
10:27It's go time.
10:28So, I, I get down there on my knees, and I, and I, I go in there.
10:31I go in there.
10:31I'm going deep.
10:32I can feel it.
10:33I can feel it right there.
10:34It gets away, then I have to, I have to go a little bit deeper, and I'm reaching for it,
10:37and...
10:37Ah, ah, ah.
10:38Nope.
10:38Deeper.
10:39Deeper.
10:39Yes, really.
10:40Small hands.
10:41It's disturbing, actually.
10:42And I, and I, I can feel it.
10:43I can feel it.
10:43Right, right on the edge of my finger.
10:45It's right there.
10:45It's right there.
10:46And...
10:46I got it.
10:47Got the ring.
10:48Got the ring.
10:50Yeah, it's so cute.
10:51Oh, my God.
10:51We decided to leave it home, till we get it resized.
10:54Yeah.
10:55Yeah, it's better safe than sorry.
10:56Right, sweetie?
10:58Mm-hmm.
11:01I'm gonna get a drink.
11:05Hey.
11:06Hell, isn't it?
11:07I thought you quit.
11:09I did.
11:12So, is my fiancé boring yours with his foot talk yet?
11:15No.
11:15No.
11:15But I think David's got his hands pretty full.
11:17Did I say David?
11:22Yeah.
11:22And Jason.
11:23Of course.
11:25David's a friend.
11:26I was on the phone.
11:28Him.
11:29Well, I guess we better go back in there.
11:31If Mom has anything else to surprise me with, can you please tell me?
11:34Deal.
11:36Good to see you.
11:37Oh, my sweetie.
11:38Oh, look at this.
11:39Our picture's taken.
11:40The family phone.
11:41Oh, yes, we are together.
11:43We're together here.
11:44Hey, everybody.
11:44Hey, everybody.
11:44Hey, everybody.
11:44Hey, everybody.
11:45Hey, everybody.
11:45Don't worry, I could show Jason his room.
11:50Well, honey, don't be silly.
11:51The inn is full.
11:53Besides, I don't expect you to have separate rooms.
11:59Just separate beds.
12:01Separate rooms.
12:02And if you need extra pillows or blankets, just ask me.
12:06That's okay, Mom.
12:06I think I know where everything is.
12:08Okay, well, you take it tonight.
12:09I'll take it tomorrow night.
12:11Whatever you want.
12:13I'm going to go get change for bed.
12:14Okay.
12:15Oh!
12:22Oh!
12:23Oh!
12:24Sorry.
12:25Um.
12:27No, I'm sorry.
12:28I thought you were still in the...
12:29Pajamas, please?
12:30Uh, no, I don't, uh...
12:32I don't wear pajamas.
12:35I didn't bring it.
12:35Oh, okay.
12:36It's fine.
12:36I'll just find...
12:37See if my dad has some.
12:38Great.
12:39Great.
12:39Daddy.
12:46Daddy.
12:48Daddy.
12:48I plead not guilty.
12:50Sorry?
12:51What?
12:51Sorry?
12:52I came to ask you if Jason could borrow some pajamas.
12:55Oh, I don't have any.
12:57Your mother and I sleep in the room.
12:59Oh, since when?
13:01Oh, since Joy went off to college.
13:03We ran around naked for a week.
13:05You should see...
13:05Oh, no, no, no.
13:06I don't want to hear it.
13:07This guy, uh, this Jason, he treats you right, does he?
13:12Yeah, yeah, of course.
13:13What?
13:15You love him?
13:17What?
13:18It's an easy question.
13:18Should be an easy answer.
13:20Dad, I'm marrying the guy.
13:21So?
13:22Do you love him?
13:25Yes, I do.
13:30Hey.
13:32The Beatles are right, after all.
13:35All you need is love.
13:36I just wanted to let you know that I may have locked into some tickets to class.
14:06Carmen.
14:07And, um, I don't know, I thought maybe you might want to go?
14:12No.
14:14Hey, um, call me.
14:17Good morning.
14:32Morning, sweetheart.
14:33Where's Trish and Gil?
14:35Trish has sold the hotel.
14:36Gil hasn't shown up yet.
14:38Why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here?
14:40Well, with Emma and the nanny, maybe they felt they'd be a bother.
14:45I don't even know why Trish has a nanny.
14:47I mean, come on.
14:48I felt like she's ever had a job.
14:50But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants.
14:54He's just never around.
14:56How about Jason?
14:57How much does he earn?
14:59Mom.
15:00Oh, sweetie.
15:01I just want to make sure that you're cared for.
15:04Oh, come on, Mom.
15:05It is the 21st century.
15:06You don't need to be cared for.
15:08You have our own jobs.
15:09Right, Gil?
15:10Well, actually, the newspaper I was working for shut down.
15:14Oh, honey, not again.
15:16Well, it's not my fault.
15:17Nobody reads newspapers anymore.
15:19Everything's on the Internet, I know.
15:22Well, just in time.
15:23I want you to tell me if my yam casserole is sweet enough.
15:28Oh, I'm sorry.
15:29I'm not a fan.
15:31Yes, you are.
15:32You're such a joker.
15:33He's such a joker.
15:34He loves yams.
15:35Like I said, he loves yams.
15:36Yeah, I love it.
15:37Okay.
15:38Okay.
15:40I made that with Splenda instead of sugar.
15:48Maybe just a little more time here.
15:52This is really funny.
15:55He is.
15:56He really is.
15:56He's so funny.
15:57He's such a joker.
15:59Well, I just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date.
16:03Please don't start.
16:05Honey, I'm sorry if I seem a little anxious.
16:08It's just that I have been deprived of planning the weddings for not one, but two of my daughters.
16:18Here we go.
16:19Can't you girls understand that a mother wants to plan her daughter's weddings?
16:24Oh, since you were babies, I've dreamed of this.
16:28And then to find out that Tricia eloped to an island.
16:32Well, what about Joy?
16:33Joy's engaged.
16:34Yes.
16:35Joy's engaged.
16:36Yeah, yeah.
16:36Yes, she is.
16:37And has been for two years.
16:39I will be six feet under by the time she sets a date.
16:43I'm sorry if I'm a little upset, but honey, it's come down to you.
16:54You're the only one I can count on.
16:56I'm, I'm, uh...
16:57December 21st.
16:59I'm, I'm, uh...
17:01December 21st.
17:02I didn't want to tell you.
17:04I wanted to...
17:04We were going to surprise you at dinner, but that's it.
17:07December 21st.
17:08You're getting married on December 21st?
17:11Yes.
17:12Oh, my God.
17:13It's kind of soon, but it's fabulous.
17:16Oh, my darling.
17:17They're all...
17:17Oh, this is fantastic.
17:20Oh, did you hear?
17:22I'm so happy.
17:24Well, okay, I have to book the community hall and call Gail's Greenery.
17:29I don't even know the number.
17:30We wanted something small.
17:32What are they doing out there?
17:43Well, your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry the turkey this year.
17:48Once we get this baby boiling, we just rig the bird up to this line, just drop it in the oil.
17:54Whatever you say.
17:55All right, let's fire this bad boy up.
17:57All right.
17:58Get that, would you?
17:58Yeah.
17:59Let me ask you something.
18:00Uh-huh, would you ever represent a councilman or a politician or anything?
18:03No, not personally.
18:05But you could, huh?
18:07Sure.
18:07Good to know.
18:08Good to know.
18:10Uh, wait, don't you want to wait until the oil...
18:14Come on, we're missing the gate.
18:16I thought it was going to take half an hour for it to get boiling.
18:18Come on.
18:18Oh, God.
18:20Okay.
18:21So, it's me.
18:23No, things are not going well at all.
18:24I just told my mom that David and I are getting married in a month.
18:27You're marrying David now?
18:28That was quick.
18:29No, no, no.
18:29Me and Jason.
18:30I just, I blurted it out that we're getting married on December 21st.
18:33Wait, what?
18:34This is nuts.
18:35I'm putting you on speaker.
18:36Well, no, because what if Jason really did get cold feet and he's going to come back to me?
18:40Because I mean more than Pittsburgh.
18:42And then the wedding's already planned, which is actually not that crazy.
18:47No, it's crazy, Hill.
18:48It's super crazy.
18:49I know, that's crazy.
18:50What am I going to do?
18:52Look, I don't know.
18:54Surf's up.
18:54Greg's going to be here any minute.
18:55I got to go.
18:56What?
18:57Yeah, just listen to your heart.
18:59Just ride the wave.
19:01Just ride the wave.
19:03What?
19:04I don't know.
19:05Sophie.
19:06Sophie.
19:07You know, Roy, I think it's probably been 30 minutes.
19:13Should we go check on the pot?
19:14You know, I could use a little, you know, legal counsel.
19:20Oh, well, you're a counselman, right?
19:23I'm sure you have a great lawyer.
19:25He's a little too involved.
19:28You know what I mean?
19:29Anyway, what would be better than keeping it in the family?
19:33Hmm.
19:34All right, well, I guess I better go.
19:35Drop that bird in the oil.
19:36Oh, uh, you sure you don't need a hand with that?
19:39No, no, I got it, Kirby.
19:42Uh, ticklish.
19:46Hi.
19:48It's beeping.
19:50Um, Peter, can I have my foot back, man?
19:55Oh, of course.
19:57You're welcome.
20:06Anything important?
20:14Oh, no.
20:16No, just important.
20:24Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:44Oh.
20:45Oh.
20:46Oh.
20:48For the love of...
20:50Well, this isn't so bad, is it?
20:56Oh, um, I asked for seltzer.
21:00This looks like tap water with cheese flooding in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:07I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:11Hi!
21:12Hi!
21:13Sorry we're late.
21:14Hey.
21:15Hi.
21:16Where's Gil?
21:17Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late,
21:19so now he's snowed in, in New York.
21:22Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know.
21:25If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:27Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:29Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:31Hmm.
21:32It's not.
21:33You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:44This is fine. This is great. I...
21:46No?
21:47I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:53Mm-hmm.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:55Mm-hmm.
21:56That's right.
21:57Yeah.
21:58But I'm not a fan of the golf.
22:01But, you know, like a spectator.
22:03But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly.
22:06That's why they gave you a car.
22:08Yeah.
22:09A Tesla, right?
22:10Yes!
22:11He won the car at the tournament.
22:13And then you interviewed the winner.
22:14Look at me.
22:15Mm-hmm.
22:16He forgets everything, right, honey?
22:17Crazy.
22:18Yeah.
22:19I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:20Oh, my God.
22:21Sand.
22:22Oh, my God.
22:23Oh, thank God.
22:24My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:27Uh, would you like to hear about our specials?
22:28Ah, seguro.
22:29Uh, okay, well, basically what we have is anything that's chicken, poyo, we switch that
22:35out for guajolote.
22:37Guajolote?
22:38Guajolote.
22:39Guajolote.
22:42Guajolote.
22:43That means turkey.
22:44And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:46Uh, I mean...
22:47David?
22:48Yes?
22:51Hey!
22:52It's Julian.
22:53Hi, Julian!
22:54Hey!
22:55Hey there!
22:56Hi there.
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not.
23:03Really?
23:04Yeah, it's Jason.
23:05But my...
23:06David is my middle name.
23:07So there's confusion and lies.
23:09Oh, okay.
23:10All righty.
23:11Well, I mean, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:16Oh, God, you look good.
23:17Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:20So what are you doing?
23:21Oh, you're looking at it.
23:22It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:23But I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:26So here I am.
23:27All right, I hear you.
23:29Gracias.
23:30De nada.
23:30I'll be there.
23:31It never stops.
23:33Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:35Just word to the wise, don't get the Play-Dohs Francheros.
23:38I had them for breakfast.
23:39I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:40Happy Turkey Day, everyone.
23:41Olé!
23:42Olé!
23:47Jillian.
23:49So, Jason, David, what biz are you still in?
23:54Oh, I'm in the law.
23:57I do a little pro bono work.
24:02I'm very good.
24:03Um, I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:09So, theater people are so, I'm crazy.
24:13Um, I do some salsa.
24:15Mm-hmm.
24:16He's a giver.
24:17Mm-hmm.
24:18Mm-hmm.
24:18How could you forget?
24:21We went over that at least half a dozen times.
24:23I've never played golf before.
24:25It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:26And what was all that with the crazy waiter in the diner?
24:28We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:30How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:32Where are we, anyway?
24:33Is everything okay?
24:35Yeah.
24:36As we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:39Oh, what mix-up?
24:41Well, I'm pooped.
24:42Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:44It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:47You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:51Oh, it was good.
24:52Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:54It wasn't even close.
24:56You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next year.
25:02Mm-hmm.
25:02Well, you know, I didn't want to deep fry that turkey in the first place.
25:06Mm-hmm.
25:06But when Uri gets an idea stuck in his head...
25:10But we've got, uh, stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole, which is always better on the second day, anyway.
25:17Mm-hmm.
25:18That is so true.
25:20You know, it's getting late.
25:21Mm-hmm.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good, nice sleep, and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:27Yeah.
25:27Good night.
25:29Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:36No.
25:38No, it was me.
25:40I dropped the ball.
25:42And I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:44I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's gotta be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:48Well, Blyer del Carmen.
25:54It's where I met my girlfriend.
25:56Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:59I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met, and, I don't know, it might read Night the Spark or something.
26:09But I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:12Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:13I hope so.
26:17I mean, she's kind of dating this other guy, right now.
26:23But who does she call every time they break up?
26:26Me.
26:27So, obviously, she, deep down, she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:34Mm.
26:34So you're the get-back guy.
26:37What?
26:38What, man?
26:39The get-back guy?
26:43You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:46No, I'm not that guy.
26:47He's that guy.
26:48Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:49No, they just broken up.
26:51See?
26:53No, no, no.
26:54It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:57And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:04For five weeks.
27:06And then she went back to him.
27:11Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:14All right.
27:14It may look like I'm the get-back guy,
27:17but I know that all she needs to do is get away from that hold he has on her,
27:24and then she can realize that what she really wants is me.
27:29Okay.
27:31Trust me.
27:32I know.
27:33She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:35So, this could work.
27:38Maybe.
27:39I mean, the ticket.
27:44Are you hungry?
27:47You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:54The end of an era.
27:55So, are you going to find another gay reporting or something?
27:58I don't know.
27:59I mean, the only reason why I got that job
28:00was because my friend Sophie worked there,
28:02and I needed it,
28:03and it's not like I'm very good at it.
28:05You wrote that article a few weeks back
28:08about the animal shelter, right?
28:10Yeah, that was me.
28:11Well, you must have some talent.
28:13I mean, it's thanks to you
28:14that I am now the proud owner
28:16of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter
28:21because of what I wrote?
28:22Yeah.
28:23Only his name's Whiskey now.
28:25Yeah.
28:26I'm going to miss the post.
28:27Oh.
28:29I mean, I get all the news I can handle online,
28:31but I want to hold something, you know?
28:34Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:37Yeah, I love print.
28:38Who says print is dead?
28:39Let's start a revolution.
28:40Dave, not print.
28:42Nice.
28:43What about you?
28:46This and that cell phone gig
28:48are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:50Hmm.
28:53Look at the pair of us.
28:54Jumped, unemployed,
28:56and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:57Right.
29:02Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:10Great idea.
29:11Only two more days to go.
29:12If we lie low,
29:14we just go with it.
29:16I think we could totally get through this.
29:18No, let's not pressure low.
29:20Let's get out of here
29:21and go sightseeing or something.
29:22Good plan.
29:28Wow.
29:29No.
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:31You startled me.
29:34It's beautiful.
29:35Oh, well, it will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Um, can I help you at all?
29:41No.
29:42Oh.
29:45I'm sorry.
29:47Uh, okay.
29:49There is a wreath over there
29:52that I had designed for the mantle.
29:54Yes?
29:54Here?
29:54Pick it up very carefully,
29:56and it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:59Okay?
30:00Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:01Oh, I got it.
30:02Thank you, Jason.
30:04Thank you, Jason.
30:06Don't worry about it.
30:08It's a little crooked.
30:10There.
30:10No, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving
30:15and for being such a good sport today,
30:18and thank you for loving my daughter.
30:23She loves you very much, you know.
30:31I can see it in her face.
30:35Well, I love her too, Mrs. Burns.
30:39Oh, call me Meredith.
30:43Please.
30:44Or, or Mom, if you like.
30:48Okay.
30:52Listen, uh, can I give you a hand with anything else, or...?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:59All right.
30:59I'll, uh, head up to bed, then.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:13Good night.
31:16Good night, Mom.
31:17Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:32You see this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:38It's just the two I was looking for.
31:53I know you're only here for a few more days,
31:55but we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58and pick the china and the linens and the cake.
32:03Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:05I mean, go with it.
32:07Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:11Yes, of course.
32:12Yeah.
32:12But, uh, you really think it's a good idea
32:14to go shopping on Black Friday?
32:16Let's go shopping!
32:17Oh, let's go shopping!
32:20Yay!
32:20Yeah.
32:30Come on, look.
32:32Oh, it's beautiful.
32:35Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum.
32:37Here, hold my purse.
32:39Thanks.
32:40Here.
32:42Okay, thanks.
32:46Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
32:52Oh!
32:53Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:56Yeah?
32:56Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:58Pretty.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:01Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah.
33:05Yeah.
33:09So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing.
33:13My point exactly.
33:15We're two young lovebirds.
33:17I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss.
33:22No hug.
33:23Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25Well, I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know.
33:30Most marriages fall apart.
33:32First, in the bedroom.
33:34You know, your father and I make love three times a week.
33:38Ah.
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:40Jason's a good catch.
33:42A little odd and nervous, I guess, but I like him.
33:47He's good for you.
33:54Pretty.
33:55Oh!
33:57Pretty.
33:58Oh!
33:58Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course.
34:01I'm not.
34:02Oh.
34:03My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself.
34:07Well, that sounds like, um, a very good strategy.
34:12I want that dress.
34:13I'll take it.
34:16That's beautiful.
34:18Nice.
34:19Oh, ma'am.
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:22I saw it first and it's mine.
34:24Okay, can I have you, please?
34:25No.
34:25Look, a view of your way.
34:27Pretty!
34:27Oh, my God.
34:31Who dressed my bride?
34:38Just between you and I, how would you advise a client to proceed if it was discovered that,
34:43let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, votes?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not tell any longer.
34:52There's no one.
34:53Gotcha.
34:54Gotcha.
34:54Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know.
34:59I think, I think we get better.
35:00You've set a mug.
35:01What do you think?
35:02Table setting for eight or twelve?
35:04Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:06Yeah.
35:06Okay.
35:07Okay.
35:07You do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:16Yeah.
35:17Yeah.
35:17Yeah.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Yeah.
35:19But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh, and then they change their mind.
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you.
35:35Hello, Father Macy.
35:37What are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month.
35:40You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over.
35:45Oh, hi.
35:46Oh.
35:48Hello, I'm Father Macy.
35:49Hi, Father.
35:51Jason.
35:52So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:55Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:56Why don't you take a walk?
35:58Perfect.
35:59So, Jason, you're going to marry Hillary.
36:02That's what they keep telling me.
36:03I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path, that you share the
36:07same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer.
36:12So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:16Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:20No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:22No.
36:23Protestant?
36:24Mm-mm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:27Jewish.
36:30Well, I see.
36:31I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform in the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem with converting.
36:39Actually, I...
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea.
36:43You could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish, I don't...
36:48Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51Oh, no way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:54Come on.
36:54It's just a formality.
36:55It's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish.
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:59What are you even talking about?
37:00My grandma, Turtletop, would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom will be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married!
37:10Just quiet!
37:11Shh!
37:11Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:18This is so stupid.
37:20You're right.
37:21This is so stupid.
37:22What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid.
37:23I mean, here I am, trying to do everything to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:33That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh.
37:38He's happy to be rid of me.
37:39Here.
37:49Just give the voucher numbers to the airline for your tickets.
37:55Take them.
37:57You earn them.
37:58But the...
37:59The weekend's not even over yet.
38:01Please.
38:03I couldn't expect you to stay when the crap hits the fan.
38:06I mean, God knows you've been thrown up already.
38:10Yeah.
38:12So, uh, this is it.
38:15Engagement's off?
38:16Yes.
38:17Yeah.
38:18The engagement's off.
38:24Um.
38:26Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:30Yeah.
38:31Um, you missed the 5.30, but I think there's an 11.30.
38:36Well, that's...
38:37That's better.
38:38I should probably wait to leave until after everyone's gone to bed.
38:41So...
38:42Thanks.
38:43Sure.
38:56Well, that was, uh, fun.
38:59Right?
39:00Yeah.
39:00Good luck with, uh, everything.
39:05I hope you find the spark in Mexico.
39:08Thanks.
39:08Uh.
39:09Uh.
39:09Hey, sis.
39:39I'll call you tomorrow.
39:43Good.
39:43Is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yeah.
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months before Mom set me up with the footman.
39:50She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so she worked her magic,
39:55and the next thing I knew, Stu was out of the picture,
39:58and I was engaged to Pete the podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:04Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:07A little weird?
40:09But good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on with you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me a week ago.
40:25So I hired an actor named David to play my fiancé for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:33Wait.
40:35Wait.
40:36Wait.
40:38Okay.
40:39So where did Jason or David go?
40:43Left.
40:45Just...
40:46I don't know.
40:49It's left.
40:50It's...
40:50I don't know.
40:51Oh, wow.
40:54What?
40:55You like him.
40:57David, you like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:04Yes.
41:05There's something I have to tell you.
41:07About Jason.
41:08He dumped me.
41:11I am well aware of what's going on.
41:14You are?
41:14Yes.
41:15I saw him leaving last night.
41:17Oh.
41:17That's just part of it.
41:19That's not...
41:20Hillary Jean.
41:21I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart.
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:26You are not a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the rear view mirror.
41:30And you have nothing to show for it.
41:33No career.
41:34No direction.
41:35And now I guess no Jason.
41:37Guess again.
41:37I thought I was sitting in his car.
41:40I thought I'd invite him in.
41:42Long story tell you later.
41:43They're still on.
41:44They're still on?
41:46Uh, just so everyone knows, for the record,
41:48none of this is Hillary's fault.
41:50Oh, no.
41:51Okay.
41:52So, um, aren't you two going to kiss and make up?
41:55No.
41:56Go on.
41:57Have the...
41:57Come on.
41:59Okay.
42:07Should I call Father Macy?
42:21I don't...
42:21I don't know.
42:23No.
42:24No, that's fine.
42:24Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:26Call him.
42:27I gotta...
42:29I should go and pack.
42:34Told you.
42:36I'm going to...
42:45Hey, we had a deal, right?
42:49So, is your...
42:50Is your ex or whatever, is she going to Mexico?
42:54Yep.
42:54Well, that's nice.
42:55You guys should have a good time.
42:57I don't know about me,
42:59but I'm sure she and Penny will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:02She thought I was giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh, how...
43:08She was just using me.
43:10It's the story of my life.
43:11Always the get-back guy, never just the guy.
43:14You know, don't give her those tickets.
43:19Hi, Liz.
43:20So, to the tickets?
43:23Yeah, about that.
43:24Um, you know, when I told you about these tickets,
43:26I was kind of hoping that you and I would go and have a really nice...
43:28Oh, my God.
43:29Wait till Matt finds out that I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not talk about Matt, baby?
43:35Oh, my God.
43:36He's gonna be so pissed.
43:38Sweetie.
43:39Hi.
43:39Hi.
43:41Oh, I'm so sorry, Emily.
43:43I had to meet the caterers.
43:44I had to meet her dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry.
43:48And you are...
43:49You are...
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:56Lindsay, David, told me all about you and Playa del Carmen.
43:59God, I guess I'm lucky he's not into party girls, huh?
44:03Did you send her an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast, though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom, like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14Isn't that right, too?
44:15Mm-hmm.
44:16Awesome.
44:17Thank you, David.
44:18Can I just have the tickets, please?
44:20Mm-hmm.
44:20Thanks.
44:21David, that's actually why I'm here.
44:24I have to admit, when he first told me about your thing in Mexico,
44:27I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29In the heat of the moment, I told him to give the vouchers away, right?
44:32Because it's not like we're going to have a honeymoon where he met some girl.
44:35But then, I woke up this morning and I was like,
44:38No.
44:40You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean, he's marrying me, not you.
44:44So I went online, I traded in the vouchers, and surprise!
44:48Honey, you wanted to buy a new garment!
44:49You didn't!
44:49I did!
44:50Oh, come here.
44:54Bye, Lindy.
44:59Ow!
44:59Angels we have heard on high sweetly singing over the plains.
45:29Gloria in excelsis Deo.
45:48Oh, that was wonderful.
46:02Honey, I haven't heard you sing for so long.
46:05And the two of you together.
46:07Just beautiful.
46:09Just beautiful.
46:09Jason.
46:15Jason.
46:19Jason.
46:21What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you.
46:25Who is it, honey?
46:28Oh.
46:30Mom?
46:31Dad?
46:33Everybody?
46:34This is Jason.
46:38Happy holidays, everybody.
46:46Mom, Mom, I'm sorry.
46:48I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't want to disappoint you.
46:50So you bring a total stranger into my house.
46:52I would never, ever have believed that you would be capable of doing something so despicable.
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up.
47:05Sorry, dude.
47:17Was there any chance you might still be a lawyer?
47:20No.
47:22Hillary, can we talk?
47:24I'm so sorry about David.
47:28I don't know.
47:28I think I might have lost my mind.
47:30I'm so confused.
47:31I don't know anything.
47:32I don't understand.
47:34You do?
47:35Because I don't.
47:37People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken.
47:40Besides,
47:41arboring grudges is no way for us to start our future together.
47:44Our future?
47:46You said I was a mistake.
47:49And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:51There is no Pittsburgh.
47:52I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:54Sharpell gave the promotion to his idiot nephew.
47:57But,
47:58none of that matters anymore.
48:00Because,
48:01because now we can be together.
48:14David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well, actually, I was just going to go talk to Hillary.
48:19I think that's a bad idea.
48:20In fact, I'm very surprised to see that you're still here.
48:24Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here,
48:29I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay.
48:33But, I...
48:33Don't.
48:34Don't hurt Hillary's chances.
48:36Okay.
48:38No, no, no.
48:39You,
48:39you know what?
48:40You may think that Jason is the perfect son-in-law,
48:44but he's not.
48:44He walked out on Hillary.
48:47She's the one who's perfect.
48:48She's kind,
48:49and she's beautiful,
48:50and she's a gifted writer.
48:52Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing
48:57just because she's terrified
48:59of disappointing you.
49:02All she wants is to keep you happy.
49:08And, Meredith,
49:09I'm sorry that I deceived you.
49:12I truly am very sorry.
49:15And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy,
49:18but have you ever
49:19asked Hillary what will make her happy?
49:24Have you?
49:24Kiss me.
49:42What?
49:43Kiss me.
49:44I really have to get this done.
49:45Kiss me like,
49:46like the future Mrs. King.
49:48Kiss me like you love me.
49:48Hillary,
49:49I really don't think your parents asked the place for this.
49:51You two love me, right?
49:54Go for King.
49:58Bill's gonna be fine.
50:00Gary will get him to me.
50:06I have a question.
50:08Does, um, Jason,
50:11the real Jason,
50:12not the fake Jason,
50:13does he have any other talents
50:16besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:20Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:24I don't think so.
50:28What do you make you?
50:29Sing?
50:30Like you did earlier tonight?
50:35You know,
50:36I know it doesn't seem like it,
50:38but your mother really just wants you to be happy.
50:41Maybe it's time you
50:42told her what you want.
50:45If you know what you want.
50:47Mom.
50:48Oh, Hillary.
50:49Oh, Hillary.
50:52I'm so sorry, honey.
50:55You sent all these beautiful articles,
50:57and I'm sorry I didn't read them.
51:01You've always been a gifted writer.
51:03And all of those wonderful things
51:05that David yelled at me.
51:08Do you love Jason?
51:12Not, not, I mean, you know,
51:14the real Jason.
51:15Oh, I know you mean.
51:20No.
51:24You think I hate him?
51:26Me too.
51:27Do you love David?
51:32Do you love David?
51:37David.
51:37I gotta buy you a car.
52:01Thanks.
52:02Now, I have four copies right here.
52:05What?
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hillary, what?
52:09Are you...
52:10Where are you going?
52:30I'll call you a cab.
52:31Hi.
52:40How did you...
52:41I borrowed Jason's car.
52:45You and Jason?
52:47Nope.
52:48Jason is a total jerk, you're right.
52:50And a big mistake.
52:52Huge mistake.
52:55Huge mistake.
52:56Okay.
52:57Okay.
52:59You're here now.
53:02You're here.
53:03Mm-hmm.
53:05Mm-hmm.
53:07What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake.
53:10Not a mistake.
53:10I must do it now.
53:11I'll call us a Job's car.
53:13Before we check out.
53:14What?
53:14Yeah.
53:17Nothing and I'm here.
53:18Going to see you next time.
53:20Bye.
53:21Bye.
53:22Bye.
53:23Bye.
53:23Bye, bye.
53:23Bye.
53:24Bye.
53:25Bye.
53:25Bye.
53:25Bye.
53:26Bye.
53:27Bye.
53:27Bye.
53:28Bye.
53:29Bye.
53:29Bye.
53:30Bye.
53:30Bye.
53:30Bye.
53:32Bye.
53:34Bye.
53:35Bye.
53:35Bum.
53:35Bye.
53:36Bye.
53:37Bye.
53:37Bye.
53:37Bye.
53:38Bye.
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