00:53Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass the Game.
01:00Oh, man. And the idiot dropped the camera, too! Thanks a lot!
01:12Jeez.
01:13It's the first day of shooting the new season, and we still gotta get the other guys here,
01:17and now we need a new director, because that one broke the camera!
01:22And sprained his vagina in the process.
01:24Now we won't have to worry about him getting Aaron's mom pregnant.
01:27So here's the deal. You're the director, find the rest of the crew, shoot some funny stuff,
01:34and don't sprain your vagina!
01:36All right, I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is called Pachinko Precipice.
01:51I'd rather be eating my mom's a**. Stop doing that. Please, for the love of God. Just go.
01:57I'm Chris Pontius, and we're gonna be doing some suburban wakeboarding.
02:04I'm Chris Pontius, and we're gonna be doing some suburban wakeboarding.
02:20Oh, you brood! Oh, my bottom!
02:26Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Golf Rally.
02:41The new season of Jackass got off to a shaky start yesterday when one of the motley crew pulled an impromptu prank that landed the director in the hospital.
03:04Apparently, the x-rays revealed a shattered fibula, and a toy truck stuck in an unmentorable cavity.
03:12Those morons have started shooting without me?
03:14I want to check your shorts, McPhil.
03:16Nope.
03:29All right, Ryan Dunn here, and this is called Suburban Canapults.
03:32Let's be overly energetic here on this one, boys.
03:34Hi, I'm Chris Pontius, and this is Big Balls!
03:51Woo!
03:54Stop pushing me, you meanie.
03:59Poo Tug.
04:04Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Demolition Golf.
04:29What do you get when you cross a dwarf with a carrot in a crowded downtown market during lunch break?
04:40Well, you get a jackass known as Wee Man.
04:43He was arrested today after hiding amidst the produce and startling shoppers...
04:48...before being restrained by store detectives.
04:51Ow!
04:52Wee Man!
04:53I was supposed to be there to bail the little f***er out.
04:54I always knew Wee Man was a fruit.
04:55Did somebody go bail out Wee Man?
04:56Steve-O, go get his meaty ass back on the squad.
04:58Haven't we seen enough of Wee Man's tiny f***er?
05:00Ow!
05:01Ow!
05:02Ow!
05:03Ow!
05:04Ow!
05:05Ow!
05:06Ow!
05:07You son of a f***er!
05:09Hang like that!
05:10Ah!
05:11Ah!
05:12Ah!
05:13Ah!
05:14Ah!
05:15Ah!
05:16Ah!
05:17Ah!
05:18Ah!
05:19Ah!
05:20Ah!
05:21Ah!
05:22Ah!
05:23Ah!
05:24Ah!
05:25You son of a f***er!
05:26Ah!
05:27Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:45All right, I'm Ryan Dunne, and with me is a very angry, agitated snowman, and this is called The Snow Job.
05:52With any luck, you'll kill your car drive, bub, and you'll turn this into yellow snow. You with me?
06:14Hi, I'm Steve-O, and now it's time for the Meat Man.
06:22Extreme juggling!
06:42I'm Chris Pontius, and we're gonna be doing some urban wakeboarding. Go get him, Tiger! Woo!
06:52One, two, three!
07:01Give him a pat on the back!
07:08We man f***ing ruled!
07:18And you sometimes wish you weren't so stupid.
07:27Oh, the boys went down!
07:29Good job, you're back on the show, but no one's gonna like you.
07:32Oh God, are you kidding me?
07:33You stupid idiot.
07:34Ah, come on! What'd you do that for?
07:36Ahhhh!
07:37Ahhhh!
07:56Check it out, man. Such a sweet weenie.
07:58I'm Chris Pontius, and this is Bumper Kings.
08:03God, I have a sweet one.
08:05Oddly-shaped shooting.
08:15Oddly-shaped shooting.
08:17Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Super Bowl. Who the f*** names these things?
08:34Jeff!
08:35Jeff!
08:40We can.
08:56Hi, I'm Steve-O, and now it's time for New York Pogo. Believe it or not.
09:01Jeff!
09:02Jeff!
09:04What?
09:05What?
09:06What the f***?
09:10Dave.
09:11Dave England, it's Knoxville. Pick up the phone.
09:14Hey Darf, pick up the phone, we need ya.
09:17We gotta have a professional pooper with us tomorrow at 6am.
09:21Maybe, maybe noon or one, but we need a professional pooper.
09:24Please call us back, Dave.
09:26Knoxville, bye.
09:31Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and get ready for...
09:43The Gulf War?
09:46I thought that was over. Is that still going on?
09:49F***!
09:50F***!
10:01F***!
10:03Hey!
10:04I'm Steve-O, and this is the Card Jam...
10:16F***!
10:18Ha!
10:19Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Grenade Golf.
10:36Well now, Reverend Johnny's, just who is the cutest jackass boy this season?
10:41Now, I've only seen half of them so far, but the half I have seen sure is so hot damn tasty.
10:47I used to be real sweet on Chris, but he said a few LBs, and Knoxville may be the best looking, but he's not the cutest.
10:57Ryan, now he's the cute boy.
11:00This new series is 100% finger-licking, hoo-wee.
11:17Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and with me is a dipshit I don't like, and this is Roof Race.
11:23God, don't touch me.
11:26Hey, let's go find your sister.
11:31Wee, tattoo!
11:47Hey, look, rat food.
11:58Oh, dear Lord.
11:59All right, well, I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is what we like to call brown water rat.
12:04Gah!
12:05Get off me!
12:06Watch this movie alone.
12:07Find your own life.
12:13Shoot Johnny!
12:14Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is pretty...
12:44change racing.
13:05Yeah, dude, nothing new here, man.
13:08Why don't you f*** off and go away and s***?
13:11Hey, Steve-O, it's Knoxville.
13:16Pick up the phone.
13:17Dude, where are you?
13:18It's 6 p.m.
13:19You're supposed to be here at 1.
13:22Are you at your Pilates class?
13:24No.
13:25Steve-O.
13:26Look, when you get back from your Pilates class, give us a call.
13:29Bye.
13:29Ryan Dunn here, and it's time for a backyard race.
13:53Da s***.
13:57Da s***.
13:58Da s***.
14:10Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is extreme unicycling.
14:14I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is San Fran Trash Can.
14:31I'll see you in the showers.
14:32The fans are out in force tonight to celebrate the success of the latest season of Jackass,
14:51and on the red carpet, we're all here waiting for the cast to arrive.
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