- 3 months ago
Originally uploaded to YouTube on May 25, 2025.
This was my second video coming out of my hiatus, only for YouTube to very recently remove it for their usual bullshit reasons. So now it has a home over here!
This was my second video coming out of my hiatus, only for YouTube to very recently remove it for their usual bullshit reasons. So now it has a home over here!
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00:00Warning. The following video contains strong language, crude sexual humor, and so much gay poopy swellness that you will need more than a janitor to clean up the mess. The thoughts and opinions shared in this video do not reflect those of the creator, as this is all exaggerated for the sake of humor and not meant to be taken seriously. With that said, if you do not like this kind of content, then I highly suggest you click off now and watch something else. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:30Hello. My name is Drew Pickles, and it has been quite a while since me and my bestest butt buddies over at the Barney Bunch had a good old-fashioned and wholesome romp to a random establishment.
00:43So today I, alongside my fattest husband Barney the triple testicle dildasaur, Ronald the goddamn penis clown Mcdonald, Dick the clown, the quaker queer, Ned Flanders, Chaz the fister-finster, Howard the dialed Odeville, Captain Crunch the super-swelled butt pirate, Elmo the testicle tickler, and Cremace the talking testicle are all going to the theater to see the Minecraft movie.
01:05Yes, it would have made more sense to make this video, when the movie was still relevant, but we are seeing it fashionably late, as we tend to do.
01:14Ahaha. Now that the fourth wall shattering quota has been met, let us begin.
01:19In order to get to the theater, we will drive there in the ever so iconic peep-peep-penis car and ram every single car that dares to get in our way.
01:26When we exit the car and head to the entrance of the theater, there will, without a shadow of a doubt, be a really really long-ass god-forsaken I mean forsaken line, as is the tradition.
01:37This long-ass line will consist of fat gamers, whose chairs have fused to their fatty foes, shit-busters, who brought live chickens to recreate the infamous chicken jockey scene,
01:46parents, with their obnoxious shit-coins of children, though to be fair they seem way more well-behaved than like 95% of the people who are going to see this,
01:55Minecraft fans, who will flip their ever-loving shit over all the references,
01:59Minecraft YouTubers, who might be on some sort of public watch list,
02:03film critics, who take their words, as gospel and will give this movie,
02:07a 3 out of 10, theater employees, who are dreading having to work their shift in this movie,
02:12neck-birds, as sweaty as they ever will be, autistic man-children, who will nitpick every single detail of the movie they don't like,
02:20Mexicans, because the long-ass line will collapse, if at least one of them isn't there,
02:24more fat gamers, more neck-birds, more film critics, more shit-busters, more Minecraft YouTubers,
02:30more theater employees, more theater employees, more theater employees, and even more theater employees.
02:37Those poor bastards have no idea on what they are walking into it seems.
02:40After waiting for what seems like waiting for the trailer for the Barney movie to finally shatter the internet for good,
02:47we will grow ever so impatient, as Grimace extends his cavernous asshole in the manner of the iconic Goat Sea Man,
02:53as he begins to shut everyone in the line of his ass like
02:56and then Barney's stomach will begin to rumble,
03:26violently like
03:27and then he will begin vomiting every single person from the line that Grimace shoved up his ass,
03:36for you see, whenever Grimace shoves something deep into his tight purple bum bum has a tendency
03:41to come out of Barney's mouth and he will vomit out every single person violently like the
03:46oh my god this hurts so bad the
03:50oh my god the aftertaste of that neck-bird is so bad it tastes like the
04:06Buk buk buk népf swamp ass moa moa mo-wara-wa arf
04:10Why am I suddenly getting hard from this moa moaw mo-war-wa arf bag,
04:15Daasamy in tussenulla
04:17The sheer subtle Barney's vomit will make us bizarrely horny
04:20so we will begin using it as loot and it will be extremely swell.
04:23well. We will then head to the ticket booth and receive our tickets, but before we head
04:28to the screen we will head over to the concession stand. The guy at the counter will say what
04:33can I get you oh my fucking god, it's Drew Pickles and the Barney Bunch. Don't tell me
04:38you want some popcorn but the corn is actually from the poopy of some random character that
04:43is popped to perfection and lathered with the finest enol grease and cum sauce butter
04:47with a mixture of this, jizz, and enol blood to drink. I will then say my good man, that
04:52is beyond one of the most fucked up things we have ever heard. You know us all too well
04:56wahamaha. And everyone calls us sick fucks. In reality, we would like a normal jumbo bucket
05:02of popcorn, some extra large nachos, and a few regular drinks, though Barney wants a slushie
05:08because he is feeling extra fruity today. The guy at the counter will have the most confused
05:13look on his face and he will say wait, you mean you don't want some disgusting combination
05:17of shit and jizz? You are all the Barney Bunch, are you not? I will say why of course.
05:22But given the absolute hell you all had to put up with regarding the Minecraft movie,
05:26we thought it would be better to not stress you all out more. The guy at the counter will
05:31still be confused but he will give us all our food and drinks. But of course, this is
05:36all part of something extremely swell, for while we did not ask for the extremely mouth-watering
05:41and boner-infusing combination, we will sneak into the janitor's closet and proceed to pour
05:46our combination of anal grease and splits all over the popcorn, while Dick the clown provides
05:51some of his poopy kernel popcorn to the batch. We will also use our own form of Dick cheese
05:56in place of the nacho cheese and some extra spicy penis peppers to really tear our asses
06:01a new one. Then I will look at the time and say holy shit, the movie is about to start,
06:06we better head over now. Soon all of us will make a mad dash to the screen, as if we were
06:11being chased by a bunch of horny demons ready to fill our bum-bums with their love, and find
06:16seats at the very top of the auditorium, for, as they say, those are the best seats in the
06:21house. And if you disagree with me on that, then you can suck on my mastodonic 300 miles
06:26of phallus perfection, if you are male or gets met by it, if you are female. Soon the lights
06:32will dim and the trailers will begin. This will bore us to no end, until we see some obnoxious
06:37what talking on their phone. I will say shut the fuck up we are trying to watch the previews
06:42and then he will say make me use shits for brains. So then I will take his phone and proceed
06:47to shut it up my ass like a dial-go and the vibrations from it will be so fucking swell
06:53and with me. I hope that I will come all over him like swos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos
06:58wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wo coasse
07:00sword wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos wos waaa-bag that lasts well, and he will be covered
07:06in my lovely and extra sticky man sauce. CÃ , he wanted me to make him shut up, so I did
07:11exactly that. Arnie will say way to stick to the man drew, and soon enough, the movie will
07:17enough, the movie will finally start, and even so, you will have people losing their
07:22fucking minds like they are at a Taylor Swift concert, and the very thought is giving all
07:26our foreskins goosebumps. All of the scenes will be playing out, with the one that will
07:31get mine and the Barney Bunch's interests will be when that sexy Yank Jason Mammoy and
07:35Jack Black are on screen, which will make our boners harder than a combination of wind
07:40and steel, as well as flint and stones. Even the weird Uncanny Valley CGI will make us
07:46super hard, but we must resist the urge to spank one off, as we want to be respectful
07:51and like these uncultured demons we have to share the theater with. But then, the scene
07:55will arrive. You know the one. We all know it, the employees fear it. The one. The only.
08:09And then the entire theater will be losing its collective fucking minds not to dissimilar
08:16to a right-wing talk show host throwing a temper tantrum over the most trivial things like
08:20the fact that they didn't make the green M&M sexy or some shit like that. I'll have you
08:25know that the blue and yellow M&Ms are the sexiest, since they look like giant colorful
08:30testicles. Oh wait, what was I talking about? That's right, the infamous chicken jockey scene
08:36will be so fucking crazy, as everyone begins to go absolutely insane during this one scene,
08:41but that will all pale in comparison to me and the rest of the Barney Bunch, as we begin
08:46going nuts, ahemma the nuts, as we all proceed to have a massive minicraft orgy like
08:50, ahemma the dick and cocky, ャη
08:55, ahemma the dick and cocky , ahemma
09:00throwing our poopy popcorn buckets into the air. , ahemma
09:08the the quaker queer is tossing come around, ahemma
09:15Elmo is riding on Barney's Jurassic Park like the actual chicken jockey.
09:23In fact, that's what we all are basically doing.
09:31Using the popcorn buckets, cups, 3D glasses, and theater seats.
09:35The employees are gonna hate us after this.
10:05What is it about the scene more than any other that caused people to act like a bunch of coped-up-booms?
10:17Even the top scientists of the modern age are still stumped by this.
10:25A lot of chicken doused in fiery-nongries.
10:30And tasty has helped us to go with it.
10:35Holy shit.
10:40We're still going even after everyone has calmed down.
10:48As a child, I earned for the mines.
10:54And of the suck in our pickaxes.
10:56No��able...
10:57Lease the lava for the lava chickens.
11:03SWAA-SWA-SWAA-SWSAA-SWAA-SWA-SWAA-SWA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA-SWAA.
11:13a bag, that La Swell. The pure chaos of our poopy compass blast will be so powerful that it'll flood
11:19the whole feeder and the swell mixture will explode out and make such a massive smelly and
11:23sticky mess. All of a sudden, and right on cue, none other than the one, the only, the ever so
11:29beloved and fan-favorite character in these ghost videos, the manager, will storm right out of the
11:34confines of his office and proceed to utter that iconic line of what the fuck is going on here?
11:39He will then look at me and my butt buddies and soon we will realize that we are in some deep shit
11:44and not in the swell kind of way. We realized too soon that we let the chicken jockey scene get the
11:50better of us. I will then say oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, please forgive us Mr. Manager.
11:59I know my butt buddies and I tend to spread our super swell shenanigans wherever we go,
12:04but we want it to be on our best behavior during the Minecraft movie, since we have heard
12:09all of the stories of people going fucking mental during it. We are so so sorry. Tell you what,
12:15we are gonna make this right. And soon we will get some mops and brooms and other cleaning supplies
12:20out of Chaz Finster's asshole, as we go out and clean the whole feeder on our mess like clean clean
12:25clean clean sweep sweep sweep sweep mop mop mop mop wipe wipe wipe wipe wipe rub rub rub scrub scrub scrub
12:31scrub scrub brush brush brush brush clean clean clean clean in bag. We have successfully cleaned our mess.
12:36And then we will shove all of the cleaning supplies back up Chaz's ass, causing him to utter his iconic scream.
12:43The manager will be fully impressed and say well Drew, you and your butt buddies hold up to your mistake
12:48and made things right. Perhaps you guys do have some sort of moral compass. How can I ever thank you?
12:54I will then say well, why don't we discuss the details in your office? Soon all of us will head into the manager's office,
13:01and before we even discuss anything, we will soon have a massive orgy with the manager and do you know
13:06what it will sound like? Go on, take a guess. Give up? It will sound a little something like
13:12this is the reward that we want. At least we cleaned up the theater for you.
13:30And to be fair, we were pretty well behaved compared to other people who have seen the
13:35Minecraft movie. Seriously, what is up with people going fucking crazy over this movie?
13:49Remember, when the first trailer came out and everyone thought it sucked?
13:53And then flash forward to, when the movie released and suddenly everyone loves it.
14:07I guess it's a case of it's so bad that it's good, or something.
14:14Emma cannot like the creator of this video who would know given that. He hasn't seen it yet.
14:18Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, there's some leftover poopy kernel popcorn you have been
14:34holding out on us.
14:39I see you have a shiny reward. Would be a shame if we shoved it up Chaz Finster's ass.
14:44When the Skididy Toilet movie drops, do you think the level of sheer insanity will match the
14:54Minecraft movie or will it be even crazier?
15:00The very thought is sending massive chills down our boners.
15:04Get your cockdogs here.
15:10I repeat, Code White's
15:26Okay, that lost well.
15:28After we have a rewarding orgy with the manager,
15:31we will leave the theater and head back to the Barney Bunch Sex Mansion
15:34and leave a review of the MenoCraft movie
15:36in the Barney Bunch Letterboxd page,
15:38giving the movie a 6 out of 10.
15:41Holy testicle torsion.
15:42This all sounds so super de-duper ass cramming creeper coming mine
15:46yearning popcorn tossing chicken jockey choking poopy pillaging meat spinning rectal raising
15:50granddad fleen stones referencing theater wrecking
15:53you could have spent your time doing something better than watching this silly video
15:57fourth wall obliterating poopers scoopers swell up the bum bum hole in one.
16:00I think the Barney Bunch and I will go see the Minecraft movie right now.
16:05Until next time my sexually stimulating studs
16:07whenever that made me.
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