Plots Have I Laid by John Rollason

Oldtuberadio

Saturday-Night Theatre Sat 6th Dec 1980, 20:30 on BBC Radio 4 FM Plots Have I Laid by Jon Rollason  Flames claw 100 feet into the sky. The set of a major feature film is being destroyed at a cost of hulf-a-million pounds: the final shot and one that cannot be repeated. Without it. the rest of the film is useless ... The gang robbing the bank are enjoying a radio play. Directed by Peter King  Masters: Alan I Ake Button: Oscar James Lew: Derek Newark Fatman: Roger Hammond Ian Rodway: Jon Rollason Jean: Rosalind Adams Rogers: Gordon Reid Hetherington: Michael Spice Arthur: Haydn Wood Rummo: John Church Hilary: Theresa Streatfeild The Monday Play: Tonic Water and Ice Mon 10th Aug 1981, 20:00 on BBC Radio 4 FM By Jane Beeson Dick and Jan are seen by their friends as the couple who have everything - looks, money, the perfect marriage. However, Dick's unusually close relationship with his mother has become a serious threat to their happiness. During a long, hot summer weekend at his parents' country house by the sea, the tension becomes unbearable. Director Cherry Cookson  Dick: -Michael Pennington Jan: -Francesca Annis Alice: -Avril Elgar Julian: -Michael Cochrane Sonia: -Phyllida Nash Charles: -Noel Howlett Dick as a child:m -Susan Sheridan    Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00:00And now it's half past eight, and time for Saturday Night Theatre.

00:00:15Alan Lake as Masters, an honest villain.

00:00:19Derek Newark as Lou, a dissatisfied villain.

00:00:22Oscar James as Button, a cool villain.

00:00:25Roger Hammond as Fat Man, an effete villain.

00:00:28In Plots Have I Laid, by John Rolison.

00:00:40John Rolison.

00:00:43Number three, Cameron.

00:00:44Get it as tired as you can on the restaurant.

00:00:47Those flames are a hundred feet high.

00:00:49I never in all my life saw anything like it.

00:00:51Six months' work and one big damn any bonfire, Donald.

00:00:54And keep those spectators back.

00:00:56And don't prepare for crap left.

00:00:59Such waste, man.

00:01:00He's a sheep.

00:01:01Now you see why we chose this target, eh?

00:01:04Don't worry, Donald.

00:01:06They'll pay.

00:01:07Keep the wind machine blowing.

00:01:11And get those sparks flying.

00:01:13It's an ill wind.

00:01:14Hey, Stuart?

00:01:15The sparks.

00:01:16They haven't begun to fly yet.

00:01:18Do you mind?

00:01:27Eh?

00:01:28I was listening to that.

00:01:31There's that old woman going in the bank again.

00:01:33Log it.

00:01:34I said I was listening to that rate wireless.

00:01:36Load of cobbler.

00:01:37How would you know?

00:01:38Plays.

00:01:39Switch it back on.

00:01:40Listening to that takes your mind right off the job.

00:01:43Plays.

00:01:43You were paid to drive.

00:01:44You don't need a mind.

00:01:46It's hard enough to concentrate without that rubbish.

00:01:47Just switch it back and shut your face.

00:01:49In my opinion, they cause accidents.

00:01:51Plays.

00:01:52They should be banned in cars.

00:01:53I said switch it on.

00:01:56This is a very interesting story.

00:01:59Well, I just hope we got all that was going, Jed.

00:02:02My head went like clockwork.

00:02:03I never had a fire go smoother.

00:02:05That stunt guy's jump looked real good, too.

00:02:07I'll rest a lot easier when I view the rushes in the morning.

00:02:10There's no second take on this one.

00:02:12You worry too much.

00:02:14Everybody's delighted with you bringing the picture in five days ahead of schedule.

00:02:17Here, let me fix you a drink.

00:02:18You know, I'm not sure we were entirely right to aim this picture down market so much.

00:02:22Well, like the man said, nobody ever lost money underestimating the public's taste.

00:02:27I give you the toast.

00:02:28Art for art's sake and money for Christ's sake.

00:02:32What's that supposed to mean, anyway?

00:02:33It means they're like Oslo.

00:02:35They're keen in turning over the pennies.

00:02:40Right, let's get in nearer.

00:02:42I want to say exactly how they shut the doors.

00:02:48Hello, Hillary.

00:02:50Evening.

00:02:51Oh, good Lord, look at the time.

00:02:54It's almost 3.30.

00:02:56Now, where's my checklist?

00:02:58Here.

00:02:59Good.

00:03:01Ah, yes, yes.

00:03:03Oh, God, no.

00:03:05Oh, well, did you send that script off to Brown Forbes?

00:03:07Yes.

00:03:08Right.

00:03:10Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

00:03:12Into battle.

00:03:15Oh.

00:03:16Yes, I'd better get on to ATV about Tony's idea for the new series.

00:03:20I think it might be up there street.

00:03:23Let's just run it up the flagpole, shall we?

00:03:26Get me ATV, will you, dear?

00:03:27We ran it up on Tuesday and no one saluted.

00:03:30Where did you go for lunch?

00:03:31There's no need for that tone.

00:03:34And Ian Rodway telephoned.

00:03:37Oh, yes.

00:03:37He said something about a radio play he's got on.

00:03:40Ian's a nice chap.

00:03:42Hmm, yeah.

00:03:43We don't seem to do much for him.

00:03:46Such as?

00:03:47You are supposed to be his literary agent, you know.

00:03:52Personally, I like his plays.

00:03:54Very imaginative.

00:03:56I got him six months on Crossroads last year.

00:03:59Real, somehow.

00:04:00Oh, he's nice enough, I grant you.

00:04:03But I mean, what can I do?

00:04:05You could take a bit more than 10%.

00:04:07You could take an interest.

00:04:09He tries so hard.

00:04:11Shall I tell you something, my dear?

00:04:13Now, the world is full of people.

00:04:16Am I right?

00:04:17What am I supposed to say?

00:04:18And apart from the few sad drabs for whom everything is too much, they're all trying.

00:04:25Millions and millions of little tries.

00:04:28All out there, trying.

00:04:30And how many of them ever make it?

00:04:32You tell me.

00:04:33Very, very few.

00:04:35And what do they have?

00:04:36What essential ingredient makes them different?

00:04:38Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?

00:04:41It's not talent.

00:04:42God knows it's not necessarily talent.

00:04:44Talent must help.

00:04:45Blatterly.

00:04:46Oh, come on, then.

00:04:47Make with the pearl.

00:04:49Flair.

00:04:50Capital F-L-A-I-R.

00:04:53Flair for success.

00:04:55A capacity for making people notice you, choose you, or whatever it is you're marketing.

00:04:59And it's truer in show business than most.

00:05:02I mean, look at young Rodway.

00:05:03What was he until two years ago?

00:05:05A teacher, and how old is he?

00:05:07Thirty-eightish?

00:05:07An ordinary teacher.

00:05:09By that age, Matthew Arnold was headmaster of rugby.

00:05:12Thomas.

00:05:13And aren't we waxing this afternoon?

00:05:14A teacher writing a few scripts in his spare time.

00:05:17Marketable scripts?

00:05:18Oh, marketable, sure.

00:05:19Tight.

00:05:20Original.

00:05:22Quite clever in their own way.

00:05:24But that's as far as it goes.

00:05:25There's no intuitive leap in the dark.

00:05:27There's no flair.

00:05:29Then why did you take him on?

00:05:31There's always a need for writers like that.

00:05:34I've got a living to make.

00:05:35I don't kid myself, though, that Ian Rodway is going to make my fortune.

00:05:39Just the rent, or the telephone bill.

00:05:41I see.

00:05:43Well, I told him you'd call him back.

00:05:45And as he's paying for the call...

00:05:47Here's your drink, Larry.

00:05:48Oh, thanks.

00:05:50That was a very brave thing you did today.

00:05:52Jumping through that burning roof with your coat on fire.

00:05:55Most impressive.

00:05:56That's a living.

00:05:57What will you be doing next?

00:05:59All this up in the book in a moment.

00:06:00Cheers.

00:06:01Yeah.

00:06:02Hey, see, things are slack in the industry.

00:06:04What about you?

00:06:05Extra all, yeah?

00:06:05Not exactly, no.

00:06:07I was just on the sale as a visitor, in a manner of speaking.

00:06:10I see.

00:06:11Nice guy, thanks.

00:06:12Now, there's an injustice.

00:06:13What's there?

00:06:14A brave and strong young man like yourself with unemployment.

00:06:17Oh, I'll get by.

00:06:18I have a stunt to be done.

00:06:21You?

00:06:22It would involve a leap of some 12 feet from the roof of one building to another.

00:06:27Well, that's nothing special.

00:06:28Why else?

00:06:29The rest would be routine.

00:06:31Well, when do you want to have done, this job?

00:06:33Tonight.

00:06:34Film, is it?

00:06:34No.

00:06:36The real thing.

00:06:37Real bricks.

00:06:38Real mortar.

00:06:40Real money.

00:06:40Yeah, nice.

00:06:41One building to another, is it?

00:06:44Hey, I think I'll get you.

00:06:46I was hoping you might.

00:06:47You interested?

00:06:48On any pains.

00:06:50On the fee import, naturally.

00:06:51On a risk as well.

00:06:52The only risk to you would be the jump.

00:06:54I mean, there'll be no old egg boxes to break your fall like today.

00:06:57But, naturally, the remuneration would reflect that.

00:07:00How much?

00:07:02Shall we open negotiations at ten?

00:07:03For a job like that, you've got to be humorous.

00:07:06Ten quick.

00:07:07Ten thousand.

00:07:14Ian Rodway.

00:07:15Oh, hello.

00:07:16Is that you, Ian?

00:07:16Yes, speaking.

00:07:17Brian Rodgers here, dear heart.

00:07:19Oh.

00:07:20Miss Festival of Light says you want words.

00:07:22Oh, yes, I see.

00:07:23You sound rather vague.

00:07:25Is everything okay?

00:07:26Yes, yes, yes.

00:07:27Well?

00:07:28It was only, you see, that Negative Earth...

00:07:31Not quite with you, Ian.

00:07:32My play.

00:07:33I mean, about the film hijack.

00:07:35Oh, that.

00:07:36Yes, I thought the BBC had bought it.

00:07:38They did, and it's on.

00:07:39Oh, great.

00:07:40When?

00:07:40Now.

00:07:41At the moment.

00:07:42Oh, I see.

00:07:43Well, if that's why I rang you, see, I was going to tell you to listen.

00:07:45Oh, of course.

00:07:46I'm with you now.

00:07:47When does it start?

00:07:48It's halfway through.

00:07:49Oh, what a bit of...

00:07:50Look, I'll ring you back when it's finished.

00:07:52Thanks for ringing.

00:07:53Bloody agents.

00:07:55I'm missing one of the best bits.

00:07:57For us, there's no moon out tonight.

00:07:59Right then, laddie.

00:08:01That building on the other side of the alley is the film laboratory.

00:08:04Once you're over, you've skimmed down that drain pipe, open the side door into the yard.

00:08:07Then you can disappear, leave the rest to us.

00:08:09What about more money?

00:08:10You'll be paid when we've got the film Negative safely out and away.

00:08:12Trust us, laddie.

00:08:13Yeah.

00:08:14Okay, I'll trust you.

00:08:15We shan't let you down.

00:08:15No, the bleeding amateurs.

00:08:17Just keep your eyes on the road.

00:08:18Nobody calling action, hon.

00:08:19I've only ever jumped on a queue.

00:08:21Go on, lad.

00:08:22Good luck.

00:08:23I don't know if the door's not locked, that's all right.

00:08:24Sergeant, just bolt it from the inside.

00:08:26Go on, lad.

00:08:29Right.

00:08:30He's in position.

00:08:31Took my bonnie, wee boy.

00:08:33Like a butt on the wing.

00:08:35Over the sea to sky.

00:08:37He's over, Stuart.

00:08:38Can we trust him, Donald?

00:08:40I'd have felt happier if he was a Scot.

00:08:43That's right, we had an old cobbled that would get me killed.

00:08:45Listen to that rubbish.

00:08:46Did you see that, masterly?

00:08:47All the blue.

00:08:48You were too near him, man.

00:08:49Bleeding jungle bunnies!

00:08:51Stupid git!

00:08:52Blue!

00:08:54Oh, very.

00:08:54No hurry.

00:08:55Just pull into that lay-by.

00:08:59I never drove for nobody before was listening to plays.

00:09:02Man, I thought it sounded good.

00:09:04Even when I chauffeured for Fat Man, and God knows he could wipe the floor with anybody when it comes to talking.

00:09:08Even Fat Man never listened to plays.

00:09:11He'd have that funny music on by the hour.

00:09:13I never minded that.

00:09:14I shan't tell you again.

00:09:17The news, even.

00:09:18But not all that old rabbit Scotch twats.

00:09:21Who's that?

00:09:23Scotch idiots.

00:09:24Them in a play.

00:09:24How can they be stupid, man?

00:09:26Well, listen to them.

00:09:27Of course they're stupid.

00:09:28They're characters.

00:09:29They can't be stupid.

00:09:30They're just characters talking.

00:09:33It takes a man to be stupid.

00:09:34Flesh and blood man.

00:09:36Like you.

00:09:36Who are you calling stupid?

00:09:38Look, Lou.

00:09:39I am bored to suffocation with your ugly, moaning voice.

00:09:42You think I'm going to sit here and let him call me stupid, straight out of the trees here as he calls me stupid?

00:09:47Insulting.

00:09:47If I have one, one more word from you, you'll be out of a job.

00:09:51Eh?

00:09:52What job?

00:09:53This job.

00:09:54If we ever do it.

00:09:56We've been watching that bank now every Wednesday for six weeks.

00:09:59We will move and I think we are ready.

00:10:01If I know Fat Man, he'll be getting a bit anxious about you.

00:10:04Oh, anxious, eh?

00:10:06Anxious.

00:10:06That's a big word for you, isn't it?

00:10:08Anxious.

00:10:09You see what you've got from listening to that play?

00:10:11I never got it from anything.

00:10:13Oh, yeah.

00:10:13And why should Fat Man be getting anxious?

00:10:15Well, we ain't getting on with it, are we?

00:10:17We're not doing anything.

00:10:19He won't like it.

00:10:20My father was like you, Lou.

00:10:22Oh, in some ways.

00:10:24He had this sense of guilt about work.

00:10:26If we wasn't between the shafts by daybreak, it fretted him.

00:10:29Between the shafts?

00:10:30Like a cart horse.

00:10:32Are you saying I'm a cart horse?

00:10:33Not at all.

00:10:34I was just...

00:10:34Yes, why, little man.

00:10:36I shan't tell you again.

00:10:38I mean, one day's work, a year's fine by me.

00:10:41If I can really score, that's all I need.

00:10:43And you might have been stony ground for that playwright, Lou,

00:10:46but he made a fair point with me.

00:10:48Hey, it was a lovely idea, man.

00:10:51Really cool.

00:10:52Exactly.

00:10:53I mean, it started me thinking, I can tell you.

00:10:56I mean, how much would a chap like that make for putting all that stuff together?

00:11:00Search me.

00:11:01All those words, eh?

00:11:02Eh?

00:11:02I never got anxious from it.

00:11:04I knew anxious before it was bold.

00:11:06Those words and that one lovely idea, that really beautiful notion.

00:11:10What idea?

00:11:11Those Scotch twats of yours, the Patriots or whatever they were, they wanted funds, didn't

00:11:15they?

00:11:16Like us, man.

00:11:17And how do they go about raising it?

00:11:19Not by doing a bank or knocking off a payroll.

00:11:22Nothing obvious.

00:11:23Like fat man thinks up for us.

00:11:25No way.

00:11:26Hey, just by knocking off a bit of film.

00:11:29Fantastic.

00:11:30So simple and so perfect.

00:11:31Sounds stupid to me.

00:11:33What reasoning?

00:11:34The film company burned down all the set for the final scene in the picture.

00:11:38An expensive bit of property too, boss.

00:11:40Half a million pounds.

00:11:42They can't put it back again, can they?

00:11:44Like the director said, without that fire, the picture goes for nothing.

00:11:49So in fact, that bit of film's worth at least half a million pounds.

00:11:54Right?

00:11:55At least half a million.

00:11:57I never heard of such a job before.

00:11:59Nor me.

00:12:00I mean, that film laboratory had got half a million lying about in a building you could

00:12:04get into with a tin opener.

00:12:05Because for them, it wasn't money.

00:12:08Why don't fat man dream us up something like that?

00:12:10Because he's not an artist, Button.

00:12:12He's not a writer.

00:12:13I mean, crime comes easier to them than us villains.

00:12:16That, uh, Agatha Crystal, she had some good ideas.

00:12:19Oh, yes, indeed she did.

00:12:21Unfortunately, however, she is no longer with us.

00:12:23I shouldn't guess more than 500?

00:12:25Aye.

00:12:26For writing a play without pictures.

00:12:28500, eh?

00:12:28Oh, and yet he offered the stuntman ten grand without a second thought.

00:12:33Well, that was just a play.

00:12:34Monopoly money.

00:12:35Kid stuff.

00:12:36He has a beautiful idea, and he blows it for 500.

00:12:40He ain't too clever then, I reckon.

00:12:42Nor too rich neither, eh?

00:12:44Would you, uh, would you say he's married?

00:12:46Oh, search me.

00:12:48Ideas like that.

00:12:49I mean, he's not a lad.

00:12:51I should think he's married.

00:12:52Unless he's one of them.

00:12:53One of them what?

00:12:55Poofs.

00:12:56Bents.

00:12:56There's a lot of them in that business, that way.

00:12:59Oh, what a man of the world you are, Lou.

00:13:01You ain't the only one that's been around.

00:13:03I know as much about Poofs as you, and a damn sight more.

00:13:06When you've done the porridge I've done...

00:13:08How long would a guy take to write all that down?

00:13:10It couldn't be less than two or three weeks.

00:13:13That's, uh...

00:13:14He's working for labourers' money.

00:13:16A bloke with ideas like he has.

00:13:19Look, I mean, even Lou wouldn't turn out for that kind of money.

00:13:21No, would you, Lou?

00:13:22You're right into me today, aren't you?

00:13:24It ain't my fault if we've lost your bottle.

00:13:26I beg your pardon?

00:13:27Bottle?

00:13:27Nerve?

00:13:28You ain't never gonna pull this bank job and you know it.

00:13:31Is that true, boss?

00:13:32Look, we'll do it when it's ready for us.

00:13:34At the moment...

00:13:36Well, you see, I'll tell you this, though.

00:13:38I don't believe in the job.

00:13:39I can't feel it.

00:13:41It's got no...

00:13:42Vibrations for me.

00:13:44Your trouble is you listen to too many plays.

00:13:46That operation, now.

00:13:48Ripping off the negative of the film and demanding half a million to give it back.

00:13:52Oh, now that I can feel.

00:13:54It really gets to me.

00:13:55It really was a really nice tickle.

00:13:58Well, we ain't doing that job.

00:13:59Come to think of it, we ain't doing any job.

00:14:02And I had my lucky bill this morning.

00:14:04It's twice what it was last time, even when the meat are fixed.

00:14:07You'll get yourself in trouble.

00:14:08When are we gonna start earning?

00:14:09How would anybody get in touch with this bloke, Rodway?

00:14:13What's bloke's then?

00:14:14Ian Rodway.

00:14:16We present Negative Earth, a new play by Ian Rodway.

00:14:20That's what the announcer said.

00:14:22I don't rightly know why.

00:14:24I'd like to meet him.

00:14:25Get him on the blower.

00:14:26But I haven't got his number.

00:14:28Look it up.

00:14:28Good thinking, Luke.

00:14:30Ah, but suppose he's not in, or he doesn't live in London.

00:14:34It depends how much you want to see him.

00:14:36Oh?

00:14:37When I wanted to find out who my old lady had gone off with, I hired me a gumshoe.

00:14:41Aye?

00:14:41A private investigator man.

00:14:43Fifty ones in his top pocket, it cost me.

00:14:45Did he find her?

00:14:46Find her?

00:14:46He brought her back, man.

00:14:48Hell, that wasn't the deal.

00:14:50So you be careful with this Ian Rodway.

00:14:51Because once you've found him, he might be a real awkward cost to rid yourself off.

00:14:56Look, there must be easier ways of tracing a man.

00:14:59Put the word out.

00:15:00And which of our associates would be likely to know the whereabouts of a man like him?

00:15:04Two years ago, you could have run up one of the lads at the yard.

00:15:07They'd always help you.

00:15:09Those were the days.

00:15:10Nostalgia, Lou.

00:15:12That's a disease in this country.

00:15:14Ring up the BBC.

00:15:15Oh, and have my name broadcast all over.

00:15:17There was this picture on the telly the other night.

00:15:19Well, maybe I could put an advert in the paper.

00:15:21About this writer and his wife.

00:15:23Quite tasty, really.

00:15:25He was doing all that writing stuff.

00:15:26He should have seen the books he had up on his walls.

00:15:29Till his wife went off with his agent.

00:15:31Then he went right off.

00:15:33That's it.

00:15:34That is it.

00:15:35You've just earned yourself a raise, Lou.

00:15:37Eh?

00:15:38What for?

00:15:39Agent.

00:15:40Writers have agents, don't they?

00:15:41I mean, well, even if there's a dozen, we'll ring them all.

00:15:44He must have made a real good impression on your voice.

00:15:46Oh, he has, Button.

00:15:48And I'm going to do something about it.

00:15:50He'll never go short of paper and pencil if I have my way.

00:15:53You fancy yourself acting in one of his plays, do you?

00:15:56You could put it like that, yes.

00:15:59Eh, Button, what time is it?

00:16:00Ten to four.

00:16:01Well, just switch it back on.

00:16:02I'd like to hear how it ends.

00:16:03No, not that it really matters.

00:16:05The idea was what counted.

00:16:06I can tell you how it ends, man.

00:16:08Like it always do.

00:16:10With the villains inside.

00:16:13Them plays.

00:16:14That's the only ending, huh, Button?

00:16:15That's true, Button.

00:16:17True.

00:16:17You know how wager writers make more arrests a year than the police ever do?

00:16:21But that's only in plays.

00:16:24In life, we write our own endings.

00:16:27Just switch it on.

00:16:29You don't have to, sir.

00:16:30It's our job.

00:16:31What I still can't fathom out, Inspector, is how you got wise to them in the first place.

00:16:35It was something you said, actually, sir.

00:16:36Me?

00:16:37Yes, you mentioned that the filming had finished five days ahead of schedule.

00:16:40Well, yeah, but that's not...

00:16:41Well, we knew how they got into the process.

00:16:43It's good to say.

00:16:43And we knew that there were very few of our regular customers who'd attempt that jump at night.

00:16:48It was very much a specialist job.

00:16:50Someone who was used to taking risks.

00:16:52Put those two facts together.

00:16:53And jump to a conclusion, eh?

00:16:55Only people connected with the films would know that the film of the fire would be in the laboratory that night.

00:16:59And only a professional risk taker would attempt that jump.

00:17:02Precisely.

00:17:03Well, I hope you'll be free for the premiere.

00:17:06I dare say on my turn.

00:17:07What's it to be an adult?

00:17:08Us, Inspector.

00:17:09Us.

00:17:13Donald Baird was played by John Church.

00:17:21Stuart McLean and the stuntman by Alan Lake.

00:17:24The inspector, Derek Newark.

00:17:26Jed Haydenwood.

00:17:28The film director, Roger Hammond.

00:17:30Negative Earth by Ian Rodway was directed by Peter King.

00:17:35Yeah, not bad, not bad.

00:17:37Direction a bit old-fashioned, and it could have been a bit tighter here and there, but all in all...

00:17:42Yeah, quite a neat little play.

00:17:44Now, which of my friends is going to win the race to the phone to congratulate me?

00:17:50Well, oh, come on!

00:17:53Anybody?

00:17:56If only one in 50 people heard it, there must be at least a million fans out there all busting to tell me how thrilled they are.

00:18:01Oh, come on!

00:18:05Bust your bums!

00:18:07Oh, God, it's lonely at the top.

00:18:10Hey, I wonder if any of the kids heard it.

00:18:13No.

00:18:14Most of them have left school by now working.

00:18:17Like Gene.

00:18:19And how's my clever little husband today?

00:18:21Did he get any work done?

00:18:23Oh, they're thinking of getting me a new typewriter, one of those that corrects all the mistakes.

00:18:26I shall be able to do your typing on it in the lunch hour.

00:18:29No, no, darling, of course I don't mind.

00:18:31You must do what you think you must do, Ian.

00:18:33It's very important for actors and writers and people like that to be fulfilled.

00:18:37Much more than working in a dreary solicitor's office.

00:18:41Oh, go on, ring, you bastard, ring.

00:18:46Solicitor?

00:18:47Perhaps I should set my next play in a solicitor's office.

00:18:51Yeah.

00:18:51What about if Hetherington, the junior partner, unmarried, meets this woman one day...

00:18:56Oh, damn.

00:19:00Hello?

00:19:01Brian Rogers here, old darling.

00:19:02Oh, hello, Brian.

00:19:03I caught the last few minutes of Negative Earth.

00:19:05Very neat.

00:19:06I'm glad you liked it.

00:19:07Yes, I did.

00:19:08Not much good for the box, though, eh?

00:19:10Far too expensive.

00:19:11Yeah, I suppose not.

00:19:12I thought for a moment it might have made a reasonable episode for Firetech.

00:19:15It's a new series they're doing, but I reckon they'll have got all they need by now.

00:19:19Still, it's worth a try.

00:19:20They did a series years ago on radio called Firetech, Brian.

00:19:23I'm sure they did.

00:19:23Oh, really?

00:19:24Yes.

00:19:25I can't copyright an idea, worse luck.

00:19:28It sounds like a winner.

00:19:29Couldn't you try some of my stuff around?

00:19:31I mean, I'm sure that half of what I watch is...

00:19:32Oh, I try, dear heart.

00:19:34Don't think I don't.

00:19:36Does that mean there's nothing around at the moment?

00:19:37Well, nothing definite.

00:19:39But you know yourself, in showbiz, things can change overnight.

00:19:41Yeah, when one door closes behind you, another one slams in your face, I know.

00:19:45The thing is to keep going.

00:19:47Thanks for the encouragement.

00:19:47Rest assured.

00:19:48If I hear of anything, I'll be on to you toot-sweet.

00:19:51I know you will, Brian, thanks.

00:19:52A little desperandum.

00:19:53Let me know what you've got on the stocks.

00:19:55Listen, Brian, I was just thinking.

00:19:57Something my wife said only yesterday.

00:19:58You know she's working for me to listen to...

00:19:59Oh, sorry, old lad.

00:20:00There's somebody on the other line.

00:20:02I'll call you back and on.

00:20:03Cheers.

00:20:06He may not be the thickest man in London, but he's on a short list.

00:20:09Now, now, where was I?

00:20:12Oh, yeah.

00:20:13Now, supposing that this solicitor, unmarried, about 35, and this woman comes into the office

00:20:21one day and asks you.

00:20:23And one day this woman comes into the office with all this money in notes.

00:20:25Dee, darling.

00:20:26Is there any beer?

00:20:27It's Wednesday.

00:20:28Well, is the off-licence closed?

00:20:29No, my purse is.

00:20:31I can't see a solicitor's office being very excited.

00:20:33Well, it could be.

00:20:34I work in one all day, and you can take my word, there's more happening in a high-git

00:20:37cemetery.

00:20:38Well, it's not really the solicitor's office, it's the main setting.

00:20:40The solicitor's?

00:20:40I mean, why do writers always have to choose solicitors or doctors?

00:20:45Why not get out and about?

00:20:46What do you suggest?

00:20:47I don't know.

00:20:48I'm not that clever.

00:20:50Why don't you ever hear any cowboy plays?

00:20:53Cowboys?

00:20:53You get enough of them on the television.

00:20:55I never heard a play on the radio about cowboys or Indians.

00:20:58Cowboys?

00:20:59Well, I'm not a writer, but I don't see why not.

00:21:01Why is it always doctors and the like?

00:21:03I don't know anything about cowboys.

00:21:04Well, it was only a for instance.

00:21:06One writer in the family is enough.

00:21:09Anyway, I read the other day that Edgar Wallace wrote Saunders of the River in Catford,

00:21:13London, South East 12.

00:21:15That's not exactly Africa.

00:21:16It's not even near a river.

00:21:18I'm sorry I spoke.

00:21:22Anyway, how did it go this afternoon?

00:21:24Oh, all right.

00:21:25I'd have loved to have heard it.

00:21:26You know that, but I...

00:21:27Mother liked it.

00:21:28She rang me at the office, said she couldn't quite follow it, but it was very convincing.

00:21:32Why didn't she phone me?

00:21:33You know what she's like.

00:21:35Probably didn't want to disturb you.

00:21:36Along with the other million.

00:21:37What?

00:21:38Nothing.

00:21:40Oh, that's the drag about this kind of work I do.

00:21:42There's no feedback.

00:21:43The one thing the good old public never hear and never read is the writer's name.

00:21:47That was Negative Earth, a play for radio, but...

00:21:49Wham!

00:21:50They've stopped listening.

00:21:51Oh, we have got the miseries, haven't we?

00:21:53Have some more tea, dear.

00:21:54Sorry, love.

00:21:55It's the same old reaction whenever I start up from scratch again.

00:21:57It'll be fine as soon as I get stuck in.

00:21:59I know it will.

00:21:59You never used to get these moods before.

00:22:02Before what?

00:22:03Before you gave up teaching.

00:22:05I did?

00:22:06Just took it out on the kids.

00:22:08Now I've only got you.

00:22:10Oh, I wonder who that can be.

00:22:11Your mother never said anything about coming round this evening, did she?

00:22:14No, she did not.

00:22:16All right, who's coming?

00:22:19Yes?

00:22:19Uh, is this Rodway's house, the writer's name?

00:22:22Yes, what can I do?

00:22:23I was told to drop this off.

00:22:24What?

00:22:24But who told you to be there?

00:22:26That's all I was told, lady.

00:22:27Night.

00:22:27Who is it, love?

00:22:29God, no.

00:22:30A man at the door.

00:22:32Just thrust this parcel into my hands and fled.

00:22:35Oh, are you sure he got the right address?

00:22:37Yes.

00:22:37He asked if Ian Rodway, the writer, lived here.

00:22:39I said yes, and he pushed it at me.

00:22:41Oh, come on, let's open it.

00:22:43Oh, no, what about if it's something funny?

00:22:46What was his accent?

00:22:47Um, Cockney.

00:22:49Oh, that's okay, then.

00:22:53Good Lord.

00:22:54Look at this.

00:22:57Pure malt whiskey.

00:22:58This is nectar.

00:23:00There's an envelope.

00:23:05Dear Mr. Rodway, congratulations on...

00:23:08Congratulations on your play.

00:23:10I've been thinking of nothing else since I heard it.

00:23:13Pleased to accept the scotch on behalf of yourself and the Cointreau for your good lady.

00:23:17Lovely.

00:23:18Who's it from?

00:23:19Well, it isn't signed.

00:23:20What are you waiting for, woman?

00:23:22Two glasses and look sharp.

00:23:24This calls for a celebration.

00:23:26I got through to someone.

00:23:28I got feedback.

00:23:31Who's got Lester pick it up, ma'am?

00:23:33Sensei to me, she'll walk it.

00:23:35Who does Newsboy tip?

00:23:36He's a ghostwriter for the 415.

00:23:38What's his form?

00:23:39He ain't got none.

00:23:40Oh, oh, oh.

00:23:41Never heard of him.

00:23:43Now, what's Newsboy doing, tipping a total outsider?

00:23:45He must know something to tip him against the mighty Lester.

00:23:48Yeah.

00:23:49Fancy another beer?

00:23:50No, thanks, boss.

00:23:51Drinking at dinner time gives me a headache.

00:23:52You're probably right.

00:23:54Uh, put the light tail by the neck when you're ready, Arthur.

00:23:57All right.

00:23:58Where's Lou this morning?

00:23:59Oh, God knows.

00:24:00He's probably gone down to Sainon, down the Labour.

00:24:02What for you want to go to a place like that?

00:24:04Ah, you know Lou, he's tight with a duck's ass.

00:24:07You know, he cops a gyro for 40 quid a week off him.

00:24:09He's been doing it for months.

00:24:10Then they never check up on him?

00:24:12I mean, what does he say he's out of work out?

00:24:14It's a type of bollock on liberty, really, though, isn't it?

00:24:16No wonder the cunt is up the spout, with every layabout on the fiddle.

00:24:20It'd serve him right if he got him a job.

00:24:21Did you have a lesson?

00:24:22I don't think it's right, boss.

00:24:23From our point of view, the less people come round to ask questions, the better.

00:24:27Too true, Button.

00:24:28But you try telling him.

00:24:30The bent little burks claim he for half a dozen kids he hasn't got at all.

00:24:33The man is a liability.

00:24:34You're going to come to the same conclusion.

00:24:37I sent him on a job last night.

00:24:39He never checked back to tell me how it went.

00:24:40What was that?

00:24:41Just a delivery.

00:24:42But he should have come back to me.

00:24:44Still, who knows?

00:24:46We might not need a driver much longer.

00:24:48Hey, boss.

00:24:49Look who's drinking of the bar.

00:24:51Good God.

00:24:52Is he out already?

00:24:53He must have got parole from the board.

00:24:55They must be balmy.

00:24:56He spotted us.

00:24:57He's coming over.

00:24:57If he shakes hands, don't forget to count your fingers.

00:25:00Hello, Rummel.

00:25:02Let you out, did they?

00:25:03I can't keep a good man down, Mr Masters.

00:25:05They made you promise you'd be a good boy, did they?

00:25:07Parole, yes.

00:25:09Dolph clubs.

00:25:10Are you buying or selling?

00:25:11Don't be funny.

00:25:12Mr Masters is selling, of course.

00:25:13The real estate or the ironmongery.

00:25:15Eh?

00:25:16You say golf clubs.

00:25:18I've got two nice sets.

00:25:20One in a leather bag.

00:25:21It don't take you long, does it, Rummel?

00:25:24I've got to live.

00:25:25Not the golf clubs again, Rummel.

00:25:27You know, I put stealing them on a pie with rubbing the poor box.

00:25:30It's immoral.

00:25:31What do you mean?

00:25:33These golf clubs.

00:25:34They're not in your car, are they, Rummel?

00:25:37What have you just come in?

00:25:39The filth.

00:25:40Excuse me.

00:25:43Excuse me.

00:25:43I'm sorry.

00:25:44Excuse me.

00:25:45Just...

00:25:46It wouldn't be allowed.

00:25:50Really, this place is going right downhill.

00:25:53Rummel and Inspector Barnes.

00:25:56We shall have to look about for a new venue button.

00:25:59Arthur!

00:26:00A man could die of thirst in this pub.

00:26:03The inspector, he's senior.

00:26:04So?

00:26:04I think we should go.

00:26:05No, I do the thinking.

00:26:07Anyway, here's Arthur with my lighter hill.

00:26:09Sorry about that, Mr Masters.

00:26:12We've got visitors.

00:26:13So I see.

00:26:14Yeah, well, I thought perhaps I should...

00:26:15You shouldn't draw attention to me by bringing a drink over?

00:26:17Very considerate, Arthur.

00:26:18But we've got nothing to hide, have we, Button?

00:26:21I'd best be getting back.

00:26:22Yes, the light turn.

00:26:23On the out.

00:26:26Look at him, Button.

00:26:27Look about you.

00:26:29Did you ever see such a load of frozen rabbit?

00:26:32At moments like this, I sometimes feel a tinge of shame.

00:26:37Ah, where were we?

00:26:39Oh, yes, the 415 at Haydok Park.

00:26:41Now!

00:26:43Wouldn't you say my favourite tipster fancies?

00:26:46Ghostwriter.

00:26:47What's your choice?

00:26:49Adiposity.

00:26:49It's a strange name for it, Gigi.

00:26:51Do you know what it means?

00:26:52No.

00:26:53Well, it's the posh word for fatness.

00:26:56Fatness.

00:26:58Adiposity versus the ghostwriter.

00:27:02Hey, you know, Button, I think I'm being told something.

00:27:06Come again?

00:27:08Adiposity versus ghostwriter in the 415, eh?

00:27:13Well, we shall soon find out.

00:27:23Exquisite.

00:27:27Exquisite.

00:27:27Oh, help yourself to chalk his, Lewis.

00:27:32The square ones, if you'll please.

00:27:35Thank you, sir.

00:27:37Vivaldi was a man of the cloth, you know.

00:27:39Oh?

00:27:40A teacher priest in a girl's school for 37 years.

00:27:45Il pretoroso.

00:27:47The red priest.

00:27:49Commie, was he?

00:27:50He was called that, my dear boy, on account of his red hair.

00:27:56Oh, what lovely music.

00:27:59And all for little girls.

00:28:01I see.

00:28:02Silly fellow.

00:28:03Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?

00:28:07Eh?

00:28:07Of the visitation, dear boy.

00:28:10Well, I thought I'd better come and see you.

00:28:12To that, I gather.

00:28:14Seeing as it's all been down to you.

00:28:16Down to me?

00:28:17Our past successes.

00:28:19Eh?

00:28:20I understand.

00:28:22Or do I?

00:28:25Expatiate.

00:28:26Eh?

00:28:27A tell-all.

00:28:30Well, there ain't really a lot to tell.

00:28:31There's not a lot to go on.

00:28:32But sufficient to worry, that sweet little head.

00:28:35Well, you've been very good to us, all of us in the past, eh?

00:28:38And we'll be again.

00:28:40And we'll be again.

00:28:43Is it the contract?

00:28:45Yes, and no.

00:28:46Really, Lewis, you are being obtuse.

00:28:49It's not the contract that's going wrong.

00:28:51I'm glad to hear of it.

00:28:53The compliance of the security guard of that van has involved our organisation in a large capital outplay.

00:29:01I take it the delivery is still made on Wednesday afternoons?

00:29:05Yes.

00:29:06Always out to dinner.

00:29:07About half two.

00:29:08Excellent.

00:29:08And post-prandially, for the last six Wednesdays, you have been surveying the location.

00:29:13We've been shutting it out, yeah.

00:29:14B.G.

00:29:17It's just, he keeps listening to the plays.

00:29:20I beg your pardon?

00:29:21The plays on the wireless of a Wednesday afternoon.

00:29:24Who does?

00:29:25The boss, Masters.

00:29:27Well, bless myself.

00:29:30But as they say in the Americas, whatever turns you on, baby.

00:29:34Now he's started to take notice of them.

00:29:36Take notice of them?

00:29:38In what way?

00:29:38There was this play on yesterday.

00:29:41It was Wednesday yesterday.

00:29:42And?

00:29:43Well, it was about these Scotch blokes and that.

00:29:45I am trying very hard, Lewis, to interpret what you are saying and arrange it into a coherent and comprehensive sequence.

00:29:53They knocked off this picture.

00:29:54Not the most original of plots, my dear mannequin.

00:29:58The great Will Hay, before your time, of course, used such a theme for a film, the Mona Lisa, no less.

00:30:06Not a painted picture.

00:30:07A picture-ass picture.

00:30:09Oh, a film?

00:30:11Yes.

00:30:12They stole this film out of a laboratory.

00:30:15Where they print it and that.

00:30:16Then they demanded half a million for it back off the studio.

00:30:19Well, a small ray of light pierces the glue.

00:30:24Now he's taking notice of it.

00:30:26He tried to make us all listen.

00:30:27And he said it was cleverer than what we was doing.

00:30:30I see.

00:30:31What a pity the absence of the British film industry precludes such a wheeze in real life.

00:30:35It's not just that, sir.

00:30:36Deluxe, I must say, is there more?

00:30:38He's been in touch with his agent and this bloke told him where this Ian Rodway lives.

00:30:42Ian Rodway?

00:30:43He had a geezer what fought up this play.

00:30:47You're sure of the facts?

00:30:48Of course, I'm sure.

00:30:50I took a parcel around his house last night.

00:30:51A parcel from Masters?

00:30:53Yeah.

00:30:54It was a sweetener for something.

00:30:55Sweetener?

00:30:56Dropsy.

00:30:57A present.

00:30:58Well, isn't that fascinating?

00:31:00I thought you ought to know.

00:31:02What a dear chap you are, Lewis.

00:31:05Invaluable.

00:31:06Thank you so much for coming.

00:31:07Close the door after you, please.

00:31:08Goodbye.

00:31:10Ah, yes.

00:31:11Well, cheers, Edson.

00:31:13Oh, I almost forgot.

00:31:15Here you are.

00:31:17What's this, sir?

00:31:19Antonio Vivaldi, you may not recognise.

00:31:21Your native tongue may remain forever a labyrinth or impenetrable jungle, but what you are grasping

00:31:28now, that should provide no problem.

00:31:32Money.

00:31:32Dropsy.

00:31:34A sweetener.

00:31:36A present.

00:31:38And there will be further physical demonstrations of gratitude whenever you should call.

00:31:44Good afternoon.

00:31:46Well, thank you very much, sir.

00:31:48I, er, don't have to...

00:31:49Good afternoon.

00:31:56Brian?

00:31:57Yes?

00:31:58It's Ian Rodway.

00:31:59He's outside.

00:32:00Oh.

00:32:01Well, what does he want?

00:32:02A chat, I think.

00:32:03What does he think this is?

00:32:05The Citizens Advice Bureau?

00:32:06I told him you could spare five minutes.

00:32:08Oh, very well.

00:32:10Show him in.

00:32:11But no longer writers.

00:32:13All they ever want to do is talk.

00:32:16Ian, Ian, dear heart.

00:32:18How nice to see you.

00:32:20Pull up a Sheraton and sit down.

00:32:21Hello, Brian.

00:32:22Hilary says you have something on your mind.

00:32:25Oh, not especially.

00:32:27I was just passing.

00:32:28Oh, Hilary, pop up.

00:32:29Marvellous, marvellous.

00:32:31Any, er, reaction yet?

00:32:34To what?

00:32:35My piece, you know, negative earth.

00:32:37Ah, er, not really.

00:32:39Oh, yes, yes.

00:32:40My housekeeper said she'd heard it.

00:32:42Very nice, dear.

00:32:43Very nice.

00:32:45I've got another idea.

00:32:46Oh, great.

00:32:47That's the stuff.

00:32:47Keep it coming.

00:32:49Drop me a couple of paras and I'll cast it upon the walls.

00:32:51It's about a young semester.

00:32:52Only a couple of paras.

00:32:53They think a lot of you at Broadcasting House.

00:32:55London, W1A, 1AA.

00:32:58OK.

00:32:59Er, there's nothing else, is there?

00:33:02A lot of hand.

00:33:04Though, if you've got an idea for a new series,

00:33:06I think the commercial boys are shopping.

00:33:08Oh?

00:33:08They're emphatic.

00:33:09No detectives, oil rigs, bounty hunters, hospitals,

00:33:12crooks, soldiers, sailors, vicars, big businessmen,

00:33:15small businessmen, or animals.

00:33:17Oh, yes.

00:33:17Or nuns.

00:33:19What about Siamese twins?

00:33:21Now, that's what they may go for.

00:33:26One thing you can be certain, however,

00:33:27when they do buy, it'll be something on that list.

00:33:29Yeah, well, if I can think of anything, I will.

00:33:30Whistle it in.

00:33:31Yes, whistle it in, and I'll fly it up the flagpole.

00:33:33Right, right.

00:33:36Well, anything else?

00:33:38Well, not really.

00:33:39I was just up in town, you know.

00:33:40It's only I've got a director coming in a couple of minutes.

00:33:45Oh, by the way, I almost forgot.

00:33:48I had a phone call about you yesterday.

00:33:50Oh, really?

00:33:51Some joker came on and said he'd heard your play.

00:33:54Oh?

00:33:54Oh, nothing professional.

00:33:55He was just a listener, and could he have your address?

00:33:58Oh, so that's how he got it.

00:34:01I had a parcel delivered last evening from someone who said he'd like the play.

00:34:04Parcel?

00:34:05Yeah, a couple of bottles of hooch, no less.

00:34:07Oh, well, well.

00:34:08With fans like that, you might come into a fortune yet.

00:34:10Oh, there you are, Lou.

00:34:13Where have you been all day?

00:34:15Bit of this, bit of that.

00:34:16I don't like it when you don't check in.

00:34:18Your wife, she got me giving her hand with the curtains.

00:34:20You watch yourself.

00:34:21What do you mean?

00:34:22Those step matters can be very dangerous things.

00:34:25Oh, you'll make me laugh one of these days.

00:34:28Where's Button?

00:34:29Oh, what I'm adding for me.

00:34:30It's about all he's good for, errands.

00:34:32I nearly forgot.

00:34:33Did you drop that parcel?

00:34:35Yeah.

00:34:35What kind of house is it?

00:34:37Nothing special.

00:34:38Well, it's on a bit of an estate.

00:34:40It's more of a masonette, really.

00:34:41Did you see him?

00:34:42No, a tart came to the door.

00:34:44She weren't nothing special, neither.

00:34:45As long as it got there safely.

00:34:47Personally, I'd have reckoned these showbiz people live in better places than that.

00:34:51I've got friends that have far better places.

00:34:53He's a writer, Lou.

00:34:54He doesn't need that kind of flush up front.

00:34:56Yeah, but I mean, bleeding out.

00:34:57There wasn't even no carpet on the old floor.

00:34:59So what?

00:35:00Compared with...

00:35:02Compared with...

00:35:03Anywhere, it's rubbish.

00:35:05Compared with where?

00:35:07Well...

00:35:08We're fat mans, for one.

00:35:10You should see the carpet, it is all.

00:35:12Oh, yeah.

00:35:13And, uh...

00:35:14And lots of people.

00:35:16I didn't know you were such at a store-by carpet, Lou.

00:35:19I remember that.

00:35:21He is putting.

00:35:22I'm sorry.

00:35:24Sorry, I'm late, boss.

00:35:25There was this terrible crush down at the bedding shop.

00:35:27Well?

00:35:27That newsboy, boss.

00:35:29He's got to be a genius tipster.

00:35:31Yeah?

00:35:31Yeah!

00:35:32There you are.

00:35:3495 pounds.

00:35:35Woo!

00:35:35Blimey!

00:35:36A ghostwriter come from nowhere to finish first.

00:35:40Did he?

00:35:41Did he now?

00:35:43What about adiposity?

00:35:45Nowhere!

00:35:46Nowhere at all!

00:35:47I reckon he got left of the post.

00:35:50That's sad, is it.

00:35:51Here.

00:35:52Take this.

00:35:53An order is up.

00:35:54A bottle of champagne.

00:35:55This calls for a celebration.

00:35:57Then I start moving.

00:35:58Uh, obviously, when the financial affairs between our clients have been settled, credit can be given to your client in a similar way to credit being given to our client for the mortgage installments which he has paid for the matrimonial health.

00:36:16Ah, yours, truthfully, blah, blah, blah.

00:36:24Will that be all, Mr. Hetherington?

00:36:26Yes, yes.

00:36:27Oh, uh, no, Harry Jean.

00:36:29Morning post will do.

00:36:30Oh, right.

00:36:31Oh.

00:36:32I don't know.

00:36:33This job is enough to put anyone off marriage.

00:36:36Oh, uh, shall we?

00:36:37Mm, thanks.

00:36:39Oh, come on, they're not all that gruesome.

00:36:40Yeah, perhaps not.

00:36:41Well, how's, uh, Ian bearing up?

00:36:45Pretty well.

00:36:46He gets a little depressed sometimes.

00:36:48Ah, well, the, uh, artistic temperament.

00:36:52I forgot to ask.

00:36:53How did his play go?

00:36:55Oh, thanks.

00:36:56Um, very well, I think.

00:36:57Beats me how he can think them up.

00:36:59I mean, uh, what does he really know about crime?

00:37:02Cheers.

00:37:03He always had a vivid imagination.

00:37:05Mm.

00:37:06I suppose he must.

00:37:07To dream up all that detail.

00:37:09No, he says it comes as he writes.

00:37:11He thinks of more things as he goes along.

00:37:13Well, the criminals I deal with don't seem to have much.

00:37:16Most of them can't even remember details of jobs they actually do.

00:37:19Oh, you hear the odd case that's got a lot of originality,

00:37:22but by and large, they're a very hidebound lot.

00:37:25Perhaps that's why they get caught.

00:37:26Mm.

00:37:27More often than not, I'd say.

00:37:29Well, uh, soper and I'm as good as fingerprints to a competent copper.

00:37:34How many times have I heard,

00:37:35well, it was just going to be the one more job, Governor,

00:37:38to set us up in a little shop or something.

00:37:41So, they pull the same trick just once more,

00:37:44and it's always one too many.

00:37:46Ah, the difference between your average criminal and the rest of us

00:37:49is that he believes that if he came into money, he'd go straight,

00:37:53and we know that if we came into money,

00:37:55we'd all be as bent as they are in two minutes flat.

00:37:57Eh?

00:37:58Oh, the dreaded tax man.

00:38:01Oh, hey, you should write some of it down.

00:38:04Oh, for so that a few of my friends would see my name in print.

00:38:08Uh, I doubt it would attract many clients.

00:38:11Few people would feel easy if they thought their little feelings and foibles

00:38:14would end up in a book.

00:38:16No, I think the public are better off with the fruits of Ian's vivid imagination.

00:38:21I could set the second half in the court at a trial.

00:38:25Now, trials always go down well.

00:38:28I remember somebody telling me once

00:38:30they bring the evidence into the jury room.

00:38:32What about if the diamonds are on the table and...

00:38:39No, no, too far-fetched.

00:38:42Who was it?

00:38:44That's somebody in the common room.

00:38:46They said they were out on a jury, sitting on a drugs case,

00:38:49and they dumped this hundredweight of home-grown grass on the table for them to look at.

00:38:55I remember he said he glanced round the twelve good men,

00:38:57and three of them's eyes were on stalks.

00:38:59Still, nobody would ever believe a jury could arrive at a unanimous decision

00:39:04to knock off the exhibits.

00:39:07Till it happens.

00:39:09No, no.

00:39:10If she's on trial and the solicitor for the crown is...

00:39:13Who on earth could that be?

00:39:19Oh, good evening.

00:39:20Mr. Rodley?

00:39:22Yeah?

00:39:22I wonder if I could have a word with you.

00:39:25Who are you from?

00:39:26Well, I'm not from anybody.

00:39:28Connie?

00:39:29Oh, thanks very much.

00:39:31I thought for one ghastly moment you were from the town hall.

00:39:35I never send a rate till I get the man calling.

00:39:38No, I'm not from the town hall.

00:39:40And neither are you a little liberal nor else a little conservative?

00:39:45I'm not canvassing, if that's what you mean.

00:39:49Well, don't tell me.

00:39:49Let me guess.

00:39:52Two years ago, I'd have said you were a parent.

00:39:54I'm not even married.

00:39:55You're not on business and you're not canvassing.

00:40:00You're not a neighbour, are you?

00:40:02No.

00:40:03Nor, uh, nor from the church?

00:40:05No.

00:40:06Well, I give up.

00:40:07Well, as a matter of fact...

00:40:09Hey, listen.

00:40:11You can't be my anonymous donor.

00:40:13You are.

00:40:17You're the one who sent me that lovely liquor.

00:40:20Oh, yes.

00:40:21Well, good Lord.

00:40:23Go on, sit down.

00:40:24What a marvellous thing to do.

00:40:26Let me get a couple of glasses.

00:40:27You know, I told my agent and he'd never heard of it happening before.

00:40:32He represents some very big names.

00:40:34People send presents to actors, announcers even, but never writers.

00:40:37Well, I liked the play.

00:40:39I found it very enthralling.

00:40:41That's awfully nice.

00:40:43I mean, it was only a bit of a run-of-the-mill thriller.

00:40:45Here, Mr, uh...

00:40:46Uh, Masters.

00:40:47Mr. Masters, have a nip of your beautiful Scotch.

00:40:49Oh, thank you.

00:40:51Cheers.

00:40:51Your health was the odd way.

00:40:54Unfortunately, I didn't manage to be in at all.

00:40:56Oh, and how did you get...

00:40:57Well, you see, I was working at the time.

00:41:00But I was...

00:41:00I just caught enough to follow the plot.

00:41:02As it was about Scotch people,

00:41:04and I thought a butler's Scotch would be appropriate, as it were.

00:41:08Superb stuff, isn't it?

00:41:09Hmm.

00:41:10We get the local supermarket's own brand,

00:41:12and that's only if we're feeling wealthy.

00:41:14Oh, we?

00:41:14Your wife?

00:41:15She's gone round to see Mother.

00:41:16Oh, pity.

00:41:17But she loves the Cointreau.

00:41:19Nice.

00:41:20Would you, uh, like a copy of Negative Ersens?

00:41:23Very much.

00:41:25I was wondering...

00:41:27Yeah?

00:41:28Uh, just what gave you the idea?

00:41:30The central, um...

00:41:32You mean stealing the negative?

00:41:34Hmm.

00:41:34Well, I can't really remember.

00:41:37BBC asked me to write a thriller,

00:41:38and I thought, well, I'm a bit tired of corpses

00:41:40and that sort of messy rubbish,

00:41:42and money's a bit unimaginative,

00:41:45and, well, I read once about a film laboratory,

00:41:48and voila!

00:41:49Brilliant.

00:41:50Oh, even my associates were impressed.

00:41:52Well, we try to breathe.

00:41:53How many other plays have you written?

00:41:55Twelve.

00:41:56Hmm.

00:41:56And a spell of writing soap opera.

00:41:59All about crime, were they, the plays?

00:42:01Oh, no, no, no, no way.

00:42:02I went into crime last year.

00:42:05Oh, the first stuff I wrote was very heartfelt,

00:42:08about life in a sink comprehensive in South London.

00:42:11Written from experience?

00:42:12Hmm, six years of it.

00:42:13Then I did a sequel set in a junior school.

00:42:16Again?

00:42:16Again, deeply researched for three years.

00:42:19And they went well?

00:42:21Very well.

00:42:22Audience seemed to like them,

00:42:23except the 30-odd letters I got from teachers

00:42:26who said I was writing off the top of my head

00:42:28and no school was the least bit like the ones I'd portrayed.

00:42:32So, after a couple of love stories,

00:42:34which didn't really convince even me,

00:42:37I, er, I turned to crime.

00:42:39Of which, I may add,

00:42:40my experience is limited to putting foreign coins

00:42:43in slot machines and ripping up the odd parking ticket.

00:42:45No complaints?

00:42:46No, none at all.

00:42:47Funny, isn't it?

00:42:47Maybe you've discovered your true subject, Mr. Rodway.

00:42:51The public will always be fascinated by it.

00:42:53And if, like yourself, the crimes are original,

00:42:57up to the minute, tomorrow's crimes, as it were,

00:42:59then I don't see how you could fail.

00:43:01Yeah, try telling my bank manager that.

00:43:04Bank managers?

00:43:05Oh, what do they know?

00:43:06They're little men, Mr. Rodway.

00:43:08They're the last people to see the potential of your ideas.

00:43:11How exactly do you mean?

00:43:13Well, I saw a film once.

00:43:14Well, I'm not one for the cinema.

00:43:15I've never fancied the idea of sitting with rows of people

00:43:18all facing the same way,

00:43:19but the film I'm talking about was really worth the effort.

00:43:23Perhaps you'll remember it.

00:43:25It wasn't English, eh?

00:43:26About a jewel hoist in Paris.

00:43:29Rafifi?

00:43:30Oh, I'll never forget it.

00:43:32That long sequence when they got in through the ceiling

00:43:34and caught the plaster in an umbrella

00:43:35so it couldn't set off the alarm when it fell on the floor.

00:43:38Oh, beautiful.

00:43:39Exactly.

00:43:40Now, everybody I know saw that film.

00:43:42To me, it was the ultimate in entertainment.

00:43:44It was gripping, it was real, it was educational.

00:43:49Educational?

00:43:50Educational, Mr. Rodway.

00:43:51Like your play yesterday.

00:43:54Was it?

00:43:55Definitely.

00:43:55Of course.

00:43:56I doubt whether anybody could pull that job now.

00:43:59If there's any sense at all,

00:44:00the laboratories and the film companies will have learned from it

00:44:02in the same way as Rafifi made people aware.

00:44:05I'm not sure, but I think the penny is beginning to drop, Mr. Masters.

00:44:11Are you familiar with the name of the author of that film?

00:44:15No.

00:44:17No, me.

00:44:18But he deserves the best wherever he is.

00:44:22What a mind!

00:44:24It's ideas that count in this life, Mr. Rodway.

00:44:27Ideas!

00:44:28Ideas alone, though, are not enough.

00:44:30All too often, your man of ideas is not a man of action.

00:44:34Take yourself, for instance.

00:44:36Oh, you'll excuse a familiarity, but...

00:44:38These bookshelves here,

00:44:41they're merely piles of bricks with scaffolding planks resting on them.

00:44:46Well, I need something pretty strong to support my books.

00:44:50Well, these shelves tell me something about you.

00:44:52Eh?

00:44:53Such as you've got a lot of books, big books.

00:44:56Therefore, you read a lot.

00:44:58And for easy access, you need them easy to hang.

00:45:00Right.

00:45:00With that in mind,

00:45:02for simplicity of design and easy construction,

00:45:05scaffolding planks resting on piles of bricks takes a lot of eating.

00:45:08It shows that thought has gone into it.

00:45:11And further, from experience,

00:45:14I know that scaffolding planks are not easily bought by private customers.

00:45:20It's more a thing a builder would purchase.

00:45:23Am I right in assuming your capital outlay on these shelves to be very little?

00:45:28My God,

00:45:29a true man of action would have played the builder's marks off them planks.

00:45:33Nevertheless, the idea is a good one.

00:45:37Mr. Masters,

00:45:39you are obviously a man of action.

00:45:42What exactly are you here for?

00:45:46To meet the great man in person.

00:45:49Great man?

00:45:50Of course.

00:45:51It takes great men to have great ideas.

00:45:56In the beginning was the word, eh?

00:45:58Would Karl Marx be any less great if the Ruskies hadn't said about each other after reading his books?

00:46:04Of course not.

00:46:05He had the idea, they are the revolution.

00:46:08It's a quaint argument.

00:46:09Whatever the rest of us do,

00:46:11we'll always need the ideas, men.

00:46:15Would you believe it, Ian?

00:46:16Uh, may I call you, Ian?

00:46:18Feel free.

00:46:19Right.

00:46:19Would you believe it?

00:46:21I know an ideas man.

00:46:23He lives in a style which you and I wouldn't know anything about.

00:46:28Carpets up to his knees,

00:46:29no expense spared,

00:46:31and in all his life he's never had an idea in his fat head to touch your play.

00:46:36He's a powerful man today, Ian.

00:46:38He never does anything.

00:46:40He just sits there having ideas.

00:46:44Oh, what sort of ideas?

00:46:46Well, the sort of ideas you wouldn't think twice about.

00:46:49And he's loaded.

00:46:51He doesn't need bricks and scaffolding boards.

00:46:53Touché.

00:46:54And the beauty of it is,

00:46:56from his point of view,

00:46:58he's never involved,

00:46:59never implicated.

00:47:01Nobody outside the circle knows of his existence.

00:47:06I see.

00:47:08I shan't inquire how much you were paid for negative earth.

00:47:12None of my business.

00:47:13But I could tell you how much I think that idea was worth.

00:47:17Uh, was worth,

00:47:18till the play went out.

00:47:20At a conservative estimate,

00:47:21I reckon the price of that idea in the right market would be...

00:47:2550 grand.

00:47:27You're joking!

00:47:28About money, there are no jokes, Ian.

00:47:3050,000?

00:47:31At least.

00:47:34Oh, I need another drink.

00:47:36To one person, 50,000 pounds.

00:47:39But to 50,000 people, perhaps not even one.

00:47:43I see.

00:47:44Here, here.

00:47:44Pass me your glass.

00:47:46Oh, thanks.

00:47:4750,000?

00:47:52I...

00:47:53How do you think

00:47:56that I

00:47:58can help you?

00:48:01Cheers.

00:48:03What are you writing at the moment?

00:48:05Oh, I was just thinking up another plot.

00:48:07For the broadcasters?

00:48:08I suppose so.

00:48:09Then I suggest you might do well to think again.

00:48:11Oh, wow.

00:48:15What's to lose?

00:48:17If you're serious.

00:48:18I'm serious.

00:48:19Trouble is, you see,

00:48:20I tend to think in play form.

00:48:23Well, how do you mean?

00:48:23Well, some writers have it all planned to the last detail

00:48:26before they actually begin to write the dialogue,

00:48:28but I'm not like that.

00:48:29You see, I start off with a basic idea

00:48:30and some characters,

00:48:31and I find I fill in the detail as I go along.

00:48:34Well, that's okay with me.

00:48:36Write me a play.

00:48:37A play?

00:48:38Sure.

00:48:38Try to set it in London with not too many actors.

00:48:42Must keep costs down.

00:48:44But apart from that,

00:48:45let your imagination take off.

00:48:47If it's anywhere near as entertaining as Negative Earth,

00:48:50I feel certain we shall all profit by it.

00:48:52A possible crime story.

00:48:54That pays.

00:48:55Why not?

00:48:56Indeed.

00:48:58Well, you'll be on to me as soon as you think of something, right?

00:49:01Here.

00:49:02You can raise me at this number.

00:49:04Oh, and I expect you usually get a little in advance.

00:49:06What's this?

00:49:07Five hundred and twenties.

00:49:09I should put it somewhere safe.

00:49:11You never know nowadays.

00:49:12Listen, Mr. Masters, I...

00:49:14Look at the time, Ian.

00:49:15I must go.

00:49:16Let's drink a toast, shall we?

00:49:18Good idea.

00:49:19That's it.

00:49:20I give you...

00:49:22a good idea.

00:49:24A good idea.

00:49:25Right, gentlemen.

00:49:43Let's call this Biru meeting to order.

00:49:48A Leonard, dear boy.

00:49:49A teeny winnie, more pianissimo with that lovely music.

00:49:53I expect you're all wondering madly why you're here.

00:50:02Well, may brav, let's not mince matters.

00:50:06A momentito.

00:50:08Momentito.

00:50:11Yeah?

00:50:14Yeah.

00:50:17Is he?

00:50:21That was the little bird that tells me things.

00:50:29I'm happy to say he was up early as usual and he thinks he's caught a worm.

00:50:33I'm referring, gentlemen, to an erstwhile colleague, William Henry Masters.

00:50:39Yes, gentlemen, the self-same Masters whose services we contracted three, I repeat, three months ago

00:50:45to undertake a certain project.

00:50:48I don't have to remind you to what it refers.

00:50:53Sadly, however, I must report that not only has that contract remained unfulfilled,

00:51:00but the party in question has apparently decided unilaterally

00:51:06to operate outside the protection of our syndicate.

00:51:11In fact, this very moment I receive information that

00:51:14he has been seen leaving the house of the man he is supplanting me with.

00:51:23A gentleman.

00:51:24We cannot tolerate such treachery.

00:51:47Ian!

00:51:48I can't tell her, she won't believe me.

00:51:49Hello, darling.

00:51:52And what's my clever little husband been doing today?

00:51:55Hello, darling.

00:51:55Don't tell me.

00:51:57Three quarters of a bottle of whiskey gone.

00:51:59Just had a little drink.

00:52:00Oh, you don't say.

00:52:02Would you like one?

00:52:03No, thank you.

00:52:06I don't suppose you remember to get anything for supper, did you?

00:52:09Nope.

00:52:09Oh, really?

00:52:10Because, because we're going out for dinner.

00:52:12Are you out of your mind?

00:52:14To the best place in town to celebrate.

00:52:17Celebrate what?

00:52:17Well, do I need anything specific?

00:52:20We are not going anywhere.

00:52:21And if you knew what our account stands at,

00:52:23the last thing you'd want to do is celebrate.

00:52:27We might have something to celebrate if you'd have a bit of work

00:52:29instead of sitting in that chair all day,

00:52:31staring into the fire and drinking whiskey.

00:52:32Oh, that's all you know.

00:52:37There are two glasses here.

00:52:40I had a caller.

00:52:41Who?

00:52:42A fan.

00:52:43A fan.

00:52:44The chap who sent the parcel.

00:52:46He came round.

00:52:46Did he really?

00:52:47He was most complimentary.

00:52:49He thought the play was a wonderful idea.

00:52:52Very nice chap.

00:52:53Must be.

00:52:53Oh, appreciates ideas, that man.

00:52:55In fact, he's about the most appreciative man I've ever met.

00:52:58He should come round more often.

00:52:59It's obviously very good for your ego.

00:53:01Oh, yes.

00:53:02He'll be back.

00:53:03He wants me to collaborate with him.

00:53:06Collaborate?

00:53:06Yep.

00:53:07Wants to produce one of my plays.

00:53:10Oh, I get it.

00:53:11He's from the BBC.

00:53:12Why didn't you say so in the first place?

00:53:14Did you tell him your idea about the solicitor?

00:53:16He doesn't want to play about solicitors.

00:53:18Silly little man he had no ideas on solicitors.

00:53:21Mr. Hetherington makes more in a month than you make in a year.

00:53:23Money?

00:53:25Can Mr. Solicitor Hetherington

00:53:27turn that writing pad into pound notes?

00:53:30Because I can.

00:53:31Hm.

00:53:31Twenty pound notes.

00:53:32God, you are drunk.

00:53:33Writers.

00:53:34We need nothing but papers and pencils.

00:53:36That's all we need.

00:53:36We can go anywhere.

00:53:37We can do it anywhere.

00:53:39Here you are, then.

00:53:41What?

00:53:42It's the writing pad.

00:53:44The kind you can turn into pound notes.

00:53:47Can you turn a few now for me, genius?

00:53:48I want to go down to the shops and get something for supper.

00:53:51Come on.

00:53:52What's keeping you?

00:53:53What's keeping me?

00:53:54Oh.

00:53:55Turn your back.

00:53:56What?

00:53:56Turn, turn.

00:53:57Please.

00:53:58God.

00:54:00Can't work my magic with you there, gawping.

00:54:03Right.

00:54:04You can look now.

00:54:05Here you are.

00:54:07What the?

00:54:09Three twenty pound notes.

00:54:11You see?

00:54:12It works.

00:54:14How?

00:54:16Solicitors.

00:54:18We are the music makers.

00:54:20We are the dreamers of dreams.

00:54:23Wandering by lone sea breakers.

00:54:26And sitting by desolate streams.

00:54:29What did that man say to you?

00:54:31Well, if we're going out, you need a strong coffee.

00:54:40We are the dreamers of dreams.

00:54:42A funny old way to make a living, isn't it?

00:54:48Here's to artists everywhere.

00:54:50To the scribblers and the music makers.

00:54:53To the poets and the painters.

00:54:55May the little men in their big cars forever be to pass to your door.

00:55:01May they bring you good whiskey and always turn your paper and your paint into twenty pound notes.

00:55:08Twenty pound.

00:55:09Painter.

00:55:10Painter.

00:55:11Painter.

00:55:12Great painter.

00:55:13Great painter.

00:55:14Good God.

00:55:16Eureka.

00:55:17That's it.

00:55:18Painter.

00:55:19That's it.

00:55:20Painter.

00:55:21That's it.

00:55:22I think I have left him waiting long enough.

00:55:23Great painter.

00:55:24Great painter.

00:55:29Great painter.

00:55:43I think I've left him waiting long enough.

00:55:48Show him in, Leonard.

00:55:54Thanks very much.

00:55:57There you are, my dear boy.

00:56:01Come in.

00:56:04Come in.

00:56:08I'm gratified you could get along here so soon.

00:56:10What do you want to see me about?

00:56:13I want indeed.

00:56:14Bush beating is such a bore, don't you think?

00:56:16So I'll come straight to the point.

00:56:19Dame Rumour Hatheth that you have decided not to fulfil the contract, Mr Masters.

00:56:26What?

00:56:27Who told you that?

00:56:28True or false?

00:56:30Well, I mean...

00:56:31Yes or no?

00:56:34Oh, my Masters.

00:56:37I think it would be best put off at the time being.

00:56:40But it was all settled, all signed and agreed.

00:56:45I can't feel it.

00:56:47I just can't feel this one.

00:56:49Indeed.

00:56:50It's too...

00:56:50Too what, Fred?

00:56:53Unimaginative.

00:56:54I see.

00:56:56Not diverting enough.

00:56:57Very low in amusement value.

00:56:59It's not...

00:57:00Altogether too mundane and routine, I understand perfectly.

00:57:04For the time being...

00:57:05You need something rather more piquant and picaresque.

00:57:09In fact, your next role must have drama, am I right?

00:57:14The snatch outside the bank, it's been done too many times.

00:57:19Oh, naturally.

00:57:20The critics are not going to be interested in reviewing your production unless you give them something new.

00:57:27You might be asked to guess for Russell Harty merely to talk about a run-of-the-mill snatch.

00:57:33Luke, I don't know what all this is about.

00:57:36I'm...

00:57:36I'm only saying the more a job's pulled, the more they're on to you.

00:57:41The less your chances.

00:57:42I know what you're saying, Mr. Masters.

00:57:43You want out.

00:57:47You're no longer interested in making a mere living.

00:57:50You want a career.

00:57:53You want the glittering prizes.

00:57:56And to further that ambition, you're prepared to wave goodbye to dreary little me.

00:58:03And rush off with your latest crazy infatuation.

00:58:07Because you think he'll make it happen for you.

00:58:09Well, let me tell you something, little Sir Lawrence.

00:58:16You haven't a chance.

00:58:18Not a snowflake, Ducky.

00:58:20With or without a scriptwriter, you'll never be big time.

00:58:24You'll never be a Ronnie Biggs.

00:58:26You've no charisma.

00:58:30You're Dollsville, darling.

00:58:34Then I'd show this gentleman out.

00:58:35And turn that bloody row off.

00:58:54You can't talk to his sort like you would to a human being.

00:58:57Don't take it too much to heart, boss.

00:58:59That's my advice.

00:58:59The trouble is.

00:59:00Though he mightn't do anything worse than hit you around the ear with his handbag himself,

00:59:03he's got friends, Button.

00:59:04And real rough trade.

00:59:06Let's worry about that when they come knocking.

00:59:10Yeah.

00:59:11Oh, Ronnie Biggs.

00:59:12He may have star quality.

00:59:14Right, I'll grant you that.

00:59:14But it hasn't done him much good, has it?

00:59:16What are we going to do now, then?

00:59:18I don't know.

00:59:19The way I feel I could do with a bloody good holiday.

00:59:22Are you sure we're doing the right thing, boss?

00:59:23It's like I tried to tell him before he started screaming the odds.

00:59:28I can't feel that job, Buttons.

00:59:29It's the only way I can put it.

00:59:31Well, still, perhaps you should have gone a bit easy till that writing fellow come up with something.

00:59:36I mean, what do you write?

00:59:37It could be a load of rass, man.

00:59:38Well, if it is, then we write down again.

00:59:41But I don't reckon it will be.

00:59:43Remember the 415 at Adopt Park, hmm?

00:59:45More in credit to the ghostwriter.

00:59:47Are you on your instincts?

00:59:49We need one really good job together, that's all.

00:59:53To give us confidence.

00:59:55Er, Kitty, two more light ales when you're ready, love.

00:59:57Coming up, Mr Masters.

00:59:59There's a bloke in the public looking for you.

01:00:02Oh?

01:00:03Bit of a scruff, but he's never the law.

01:00:05Says his name's Ian or something.

01:00:07Ian.

01:00:07I never let on you through here.

01:00:08Oh, Ian, yes.

01:00:10Show him through with it, Kitty.

01:00:11Oh, right-o.

01:00:12Hey, did you hear about Romo, Mr Masters?

01:00:15No.

01:00:16They've done him again yesterday.

01:00:17Only been out a week.

01:00:19Still, it was a break for him, I suppose.

01:00:22There you are, Button.

01:00:24I told you, I'd picked a winner.

01:00:27I've got a feeling about this boy.

01:00:29I hope it ain't nothing but need a long time to plan, boss.

01:00:32My old lady getting right fed up with me at home and not scoring.

01:00:35Here he is.

01:00:38Kitty is right about this guy.

01:00:39He's looking real untidy, man.

01:00:41Shh, shh, shh.

01:00:42Hello, Ian.

01:00:43Hello, Mr Masters.

01:00:44May I introduce Button, my assistant,

01:00:46Mr Ian Rodway Button, the writer.

01:00:49The author of Negative Earth.

01:00:51That were a really good job, man.

01:00:53Thanks.

01:00:53Beer for you, Ian.

01:00:54Please.

01:00:55Uh, make that three ales, Kitty.

01:00:57Right-o, Mr Masters.

01:00:59I hope you didn't have too much difficulty finding a place, Ian.

01:01:02No, I took a can.

01:01:03That's the style.

01:01:05Ah.

01:01:06How are things shaping up?

01:01:08Well, that's what I wanted to see you about.

01:01:09I, uh, I thought at this point we ought to have a strip conference.

01:01:12Good idea.

01:01:14How you can feel free with Button.

01:01:16Ah.

01:01:16Well, uh, I think I've got an idea for a very tight little thriller.

01:01:20Good, good, good.

01:01:22Does it have, uh, payoff?

01:01:24Oh, yes.

01:01:26In fact, I've got one or two ideas.

01:01:28You might even say neat plots, but, uh, none of them seem quite right.

01:01:32Let me be the judge of that, Ian.

01:01:33Right-o, after all, you are the producer.

01:01:34Sir, first idea I thought about involved a bank.

01:01:38Bad news, man.

01:01:39We just decided...

01:01:40Sir Button!

01:01:41Yes.

01:01:41Sorry, boss.

01:01:42Sorry, Ian.

01:01:44Carry on.

01:01:45As I say, the main setting for this little piece would be a bank.

01:01:47A large bank with, say, six or seven clerks on duty.

01:01:51Big banks can be very difficult, Ian.

01:01:53Uh, to get right.

01:01:54Right.

01:01:55Oh, it isn't a raid I had in mind.

01:01:57I've worked out a way of taking money out of the bank without violence, no fuss, and definitely no fisticuffs.

01:02:02Top drawer, Ian.

01:02:04First rate.

01:02:04But not quite right for us, perhaps, at the moment, that is.

01:02:08Yeah, that's what I thought.

01:02:10Your tree lights, Mr Masters.

01:02:11Uh, right, put them down, Kitty.

01:02:13Go on, Ian, ma'am.

01:02:14Contain yourself, but...

01:02:16Keep the change, Kitty.

01:02:19Thank you, sir.

01:02:23Cheers.

01:02:23Right, Ian, what was it you finally hit on?

01:02:27The theme of the play you commissioned.

01:02:29It's easy, it's amusing, and it's tight.

01:02:31But is it performable?

01:02:32Oh, believe me, it'll play itself.

01:02:35I've, uh...

01:02:35I've even cast the leading part.

01:02:38Here.

01:02:39Look at this photograph.

01:02:41Do you recognise her?

01:02:42Yes.

01:02:44Yes, I do.

01:02:45It's that, um...

01:02:47The artist bird, the one, uh, she was in the news on the telly the other night.

01:02:52Ten out of ten.

01:02:53She was on the telly because one of her pictures just sold for a record £30,000.

01:02:56Yeah, she's quite a tidy-looking woman for one of them artists.

01:02:59A bit freakish, for my taste, but full of herself.

01:03:03That gentleman is your leading lady.

01:03:05For purposes of the play, I've called her Anna Bold.

01:03:07That's not a real name, a real name.

01:03:08Anna Bold will do fine, as far as I'm concerned.

01:03:11Do not forget, I hope, that you asked me to write a play.

01:03:13That's the limit of my involvement.

01:03:14Right, right, right.

01:03:16You'd better tell us the story, Ian.

01:03:18Mm-hm.

01:03:19Like all good plots, it could be written on the back of a postcard.

01:03:23A gang.

01:03:24A daring, charming, non-violent gang.

01:03:28Say, three men.

01:03:29One of whom's an intelligent, slightly idealistic, middle-aged raffles type.

01:03:32Hmm.

01:03:33One is a very broad-shouldered, powerful, but gentle man who doesn't say a lot,

01:03:37but stays very cool in a corner, dependable, you know her.

01:03:40Arresting him?

01:03:41Yeah.

01:03:42Yes, he could be.

01:03:44The other one would be a comic relief.

01:03:45I haven't got a clear picture of him yet.

01:03:47I, uh, we might have to write him out, Ian.

01:03:49Uh, what do they get up to, these blokes?

01:03:52The most daring and original stunt of the year, that's what they pull off.

01:03:56They kidnap Anna Bold.

01:03:58What?

01:03:59They make off with the body.

01:04:00What for, Ian, man?

01:04:01It doesn't sound very daring to me.

01:04:02Is that all?

01:04:03What more do you expect?

01:04:04Let's get this straight.

01:04:06You want to write a play about the kidnapping of a woman, not just a woman, a painter?

01:04:11Not just a painter, Mr Masters, the painter.

01:04:14The record sums paid for her work, painter.

01:04:16I don't get it.

01:04:17So she's doing all right, this painter.

01:04:19Who pays?

01:04:20Nobody.

01:04:21I don't know much about it, but it's not a very funny play, ma'am.

01:04:24Nobody pays?

01:04:25Not in money, no.

01:04:27Then how?

01:04:28That's always the problem with kidnapping plots.

01:04:31How do you collect?

01:04:32Well, this one is guaranteed 100% safe, because our little kidnappee brings it with her.

01:04:37In her head and in her hands.

01:04:39Look, I thought you said this was simple.

01:04:41I'm totally lost.

01:04:42Her talent.

01:04:44She paints her way to freedom.

01:04:46Now do you get it?

01:04:47You see, she's given, say, five canvases to paint, and when she's filled them all up,

01:04:51she's free to go.

01:04:53She's free.

01:04:54She just leaves behind the five paintings.

01:04:56Five paintings.

01:04:59That's £30,000 a throw.

01:05:01Yes, that's £150,000, ma'am.

01:05:03Right.

01:05:04When can you start writing, Ian?

01:05:07Soon as you like.

01:05:10Fantastic.

01:05:13Charlie.

01:05:15I want none of your rubbish now.

01:05:17No quick sketches.

01:05:19I want every inch of that canvas covered in paint.

01:05:23Then I want your signature nice and clear in the corner.

01:05:29Anna.

01:05:31Now, how would she react?

01:05:34These two men standing over her, demanding she paints a picture.

01:05:40Ah, of course.

01:05:42If what all she says about herself is even half right.

01:05:46She'd look at Button, I mean, she'd look at Clyde, wouldn't she?

01:05:49She'd take in his lithe, brown frame, and the muscles rippling in his arms,

01:05:54because by now he'd have taken up his coat, wouldn't he?

01:05:56That's it, yes.

01:05:57That's why she doesn't scream the place down.

01:06:00That's why crime can pay for once.

01:06:02She fancies the man.

01:06:06I mean, in life she probably would anyway.

01:06:08He's attractive.

01:06:09I can imagine she'd make the most of the situation.

01:06:12I mean, don't they always say that the victims develop special relationships with their kidnappers?

01:06:17Yes, I'm sure she will.

01:06:18Anna.

01:06:21What would you like me to paint?

01:06:24Charlie.

01:06:26What do you usually do?

01:06:29What sells best?

01:06:31Anna.

01:06:31My mules go very well.

01:06:37Charlie.

01:06:39You'll have to make her up out of your head, because we've got no women.

01:06:44Oh, I like it.

01:06:45I like it.

01:06:47Anna stares straight at Clyde.

01:06:49Anna.

01:06:50Anna.

01:06:50I don't paint women.

01:06:56Oh, this is going to put the fear of God up and button when he reads it.

01:07:01Charlie.

01:07:03How long does it take you, Anna?

01:07:07About two days.

01:07:10And then I like to come back and touch it up.

01:07:16Clyde.

01:07:17Look, man.

01:07:19I ain't doing none of all that jazz.

01:07:24Charlie would recognise the breakthrough, wouldn't he?

01:07:27He'd want her to enjoy herself.

01:07:29Charlie.

01:07:31Don't just stand there, Clyde.

01:07:34Drop him.

01:07:34Oh, I can't believe they're really serious.

01:07:39It's potty.

01:07:39It's all potty.

01:07:42I mean, I mean, even if they cover her eyes up till they get her there,

01:07:47she might still recognise something.

01:07:50Nope, nope.

01:07:51They keep the windows of the rented cottage drawn.

01:07:54The painters need light, don't they?

01:07:57I mean, she'll have a view from the window.

01:08:00The painters have good visual recall.

01:08:04If this was an ordinary play, that's how I'd get them caught.

01:08:08She'd sit down and as soon as she's released and paint the view from the window,

01:08:12it'd be recognised and bingo.

01:08:13Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fade-up sounds of approaching police siren.

01:08:16But in this piece, they're not going to get caught, are they?

01:08:21So this place they take it to must have light, but nothing else.

01:08:29I've got it.

01:08:30It's not a cottage.

01:08:32It's a boat.

01:08:33Ah, that's perfect.

01:08:35They rent a boat.

01:08:37And then she won't be able to slip away while they're not looking.

01:08:39Oh, it's magnifico.

01:08:42Ah, yeah, it means going back and altering a few scenes,

01:08:45but not to worry.

01:08:46It's necessary to suffer for one's heart.

01:08:49I hope they appreciate all this.

01:08:52Oh, come on, let's finish this scene first.

01:08:54Clyde, you never said anything about this when I took the job.

01:09:03Charlie.

01:09:05Look, he caught Anna by this time, wouldn't he?

01:09:07Look, Anna, I don't mind you painting him,

01:09:10but do you mind changing his colour a bit, just in case?

01:09:14And giving him sunglasses.

01:09:17Oh, blow.

01:09:20Hello?

01:09:21Ian, Roger's here, old chap.

01:09:23Oh, hello, Brian.

01:09:24I won't keep you long.

01:09:26I've been talking to the editor on Firetech.

01:09:29You remember I said I'd mention your play to them?

01:09:30Yeah.

01:09:31Well, I'm afraid it says I thought about that one

01:09:34doesn't quite fit their formula.

01:09:36But they would be interested in hearing from you

01:09:38if you've got any other ideas.

01:09:39Oh, yeah?

01:09:40Ideas, I said.

01:09:41You've come to the right boy.

01:09:44So they're interested in seeing one or two possibles.

01:09:47When can you let me have them?

01:09:49Well, um, I'm rather tied up at present.

01:09:52Oh, I thought you were...

01:09:54I'm, uh, I'm researching something.

01:09:58Oh, what's that?

01:09:59Just an idea, a sort of speculation.

01:10:01I shall be finished in a week or two.

01:10:03Ah, too late, old boy.

01:10:05Still, not to worry, you carry on.

01:10:08They never had to cancel a series yet, for lack of writers.

01:10:11Give a ring sometime, eh?

01:10:12Well, be like that.

01:10:17It's a lovely piece of work, Ian.

01:10:19Lovely!

01:10:20Well, except for the bit about Clyde doing all that undressing.

01:10:23No, be savvy!

01:10:25Stripped to the buff except for his rimless spectacles and signet ring.

01:10:28I put that in for a joke.

01:10:29Oh, never mind the joke.

01:10:30I think I'll look at a very fetching picture.

01:10:32We may include that scene.

01:10:33That list you wrote out for us, the stuff we'll need.

01:10:36I've managed to get it all.

01:10:37It's down on a boat now.

01:10:38Only trouble as far as I'm concerned.

01:10:39I ain't never driven a boat.

01:10:41I expect you'll manage, Lou.

01:10:42There's enough tubes and paint to do 50 pictures, let alone five.

01:10:45Five is all we need, ma'am.

01:10:47I don't fancy spending all year in that old town.

01:10:48Now, listen, as far as I'm concerned, you're all going off on a holiday somewhere.

01:10:52What you get up to, none of my affairs.

01:10:53Fair enough, Ian.

01:10:54You've done your side of the bargain.

01:10:56Now the rest up to us.

01:10:58I'll tell you one thing, though, and I think this goes for the rest of the lads.

01:11:03I can't remember when I've enjoyed...

01:11:06How shall I put it?

01:11:07Enjoyed the...

01:11:08Rehearsals.

01:11:09Right.

01:11:09I can't remember when I've enjoyed rehearsals more.

01:11:13And if the first night goes as smooth, it's going to be plain sailing.

01:11:16When exactly does the curtain rise?

01:11:17Wednesday night.

01:11:19Things have all worked out very nice for us, and barring accidents, we should open the

01:11:23tour and be back in town in about two weeks.

01:11:25Well, good luck.

01:11:26I shan't send you a telegram, but I'll be thinking about you all.

01:11:28Right.

01:11:29Thanks for everything, Ian, ma'am.

01:11:30I'm really looking forward to this.

01:11:32It's as good as a holiday to me.

01:11:34Let's hope the weather holds for us.

01:11:36I best be off then.

01:11:37Good luck, lads.

01:11:37Right.

01:11:37I should be looking out for the review.

01:11:39Hang on in there.

01:11:40Be in charge.

01:11:41Leading boat.

01:11:43Under the new rules, this document has to be signed by you, and I should therefore be

01:11:47obliged if you would sign at the foot of page three and return it to me as soon as possible.

01:11:52I will then file the divorce petition.

01:11:56Yours, et cetera.

01:11:59Good.

01:11:59Well, I think that's all for now, Jean.

01:12:02Right.

01:12:03Um, I wouldn't mind getting away a little early this evening, Mr. Hetherington.

01:12:07Oh, yes.

01:12:08Yes, of course, Jean.

01:12:09Any particular reason?

01:12:10Ian's got a surprise planned.

01:12:12Oh, something nice, I hope.

01:12:14Don't know.

01:12:15He told me to go out at lunchtime and buy a new dress, so I suppose it is.

01:12:18Oh, any particular reason?

01:12:20None that he's mentioned, but he did seem very happy this morning, as if a big weight

01:12:24was off his mind.

01:12:25Well, perhaps he's heard he's won the polls.

01:12:27He was just as bubbly.

01:12:29Things have been a bit odd for him lately.

01:12:31He's been at a loose end, you know.

01:12:33Hmm.

01:12:34How long has this been going on?

01:12:36Over a month.

01:12:37He hasn't seemed able to settle down to any work.

01:12:40Every time I've brought the subject up, he's been so edgy.

01:12:43Well, what's happened to his play about the solicitors?

01:12:45Oh, he dropped that.

01:12:47He got some bee in his bonnet and worked night and day for about a week, since when he doesn't

01:12:50seem to have done a thing.

01:12:51Oh.

01:12:52Well, you'll have to do something about that, Jean.

01:12:55Perhaps he needs a tonic.

01:12:57Hmm, that's what I thought.

01:12:58But this morning, he was as bright as a button again.

01:13:01Oh, let's hope it's just a passing phase he's been going through.

01:13:06You, uh, you don't think he's got, well, anything on his mind, do you?

01:13:13Such as what?

01:13:15Oh, anything.

01:13:16Money worries?

01:13:18Not at all, no.

01:13:19In fact, he's never mentioned money since he did his little conjuring trick.

01:13:22You remember I told you.

01:13:23What?

01:13:24Oh, yes.

01:13:26The 60 pounds.

01:13:27Hmm.

01:13:28No, I don't think it's money.

01:13:29Yeah, well, uh, you don't suppose, uh, forgive me for asking, but I do consider I'm rather

01:13:35an expert.

01:13:36You, uh, don't suppose there's another woman?

01:13:39Woman?

01:13:40No.

01:13:40He hardly even goes out.

01:13:42Hmm.

01:13:43Well, at 38, he's a bit too young for the male menopause, I'd have thought.

01:13:46Yeah, it's probably just a mood.

01:13:48In that case, it's nothing Dr. Work won't cure.

01:13:52Now, what he needs is to get a good play under his belt.

01:13:54Yes, that's what I keep telling him.

01:13:55Well, you know, it's funny we should be talking like this.

01:13:59I was thinking only breakfast this morning, something I saw in the paper.

01:14:03I thought, there's a good play, if only one could get all the facts.

01:14:07But, uh, art is female.

01:14:10Hmm?

01:14:11Oh, yes, no, I read it.

01:14:13Uh, what's her name?

01:14:14The painter who disappeared.

01:14:15Yeah.

01:14:15Hmm.

01:14:16Oh, there's more to that than meets the eye, if you ask me.

01:14:19Kidnapped, indeed.

01:14:20Yes, did you see her pictures?

01:14:21Brown as a berry, a grin from ear to ear.

01:14:23You've never been through all that kidnapping nonsense, I said.

01:14:26Oh, I shouldn't be surprised if it wasn't all a publicity stunt.

01:14:29No.

01:14:29Or a cover story for something she's been up to,

01:14:31something she doesn't want her husband to find out about.

01:14:33I, uh, I don't think she's married, Dean.

01:14:36Well, there must be something.

01:14:37Yes, I agree.

01:14:39Particularly as she said she wasn't going to make an official complaint.

01:14:43No, no, there's obviously something been going on.

01:14:46It was ever so funny, though, wasn't it?

01:14:48Huh?

01:14:48The kidnappers making her paint those pictures before they'd let her go.

01:14:51Oh.

01:14:52Did you see the mirror?

01:14:53It was all over the front page.

01:14:54Paint your ransom.

01:14:56All I can say is that if it was a publicity stunt, it certainly worked.

01:15:02You're right.

01:15:02It would make a hilarious play.

01:15:04Well, then, why not mention it to Ian, eh?

01:15:06See what he thinks.

01:15:06Baby, baby, come on in.

01:15:25How wonderful to see you.

01:15:26My dear, you're looking sensational.

01:15:29Absolutely sensational.

01:15:31You wanted to see him?

01:15:32Uh, Leonard, Champers, it's not too early for Champers, William.

01:15:35The sun is almost over the yarder.

01:15:37Uh, champagne will be fine.

01:15:39The Louis eroding a crystal, Leonard, and, uh, two straws.

01:15:42Sit down, you divine man, and tell me all.

01:15:45I thought you said last time I was here...

01:15:46Oh, do not remind me.

01:15:49Desolate, absolutely beside myself.

01:15:51A big chagrin.

01:15:52All I can say is I was wrong, and you were right.

01:15:57I had no style, no charisma.

01:15:59Oh, baby, darling, I am grovelling.

01:16:01A star is born, I cried, when I read about your lovely, lovely exploits.

01:16:06London is at your feet, my dear.

01:16:08I never saw anything like it.

01:16:09The sheer sourciness, and what a target, William.

01:16:12The golden girl of art.

01:16:15I will speak to someone who knows her manager.

01:16:18Apparently, they're over the moon.

01:16:19They reckon it's made her global at a stroke.

01:16:22Some of the offers she's getting are making even her blush.

01:16:27I suppose it was pretty cool.

01:16:28Oh, it was the work of their master.

01:16:31She turned out to be quite a nice chick, really, you know.

01:16:33Well, really clever.

01:16:34And in all the smart chat, a bit lonely.

01:16:37She'll never be lonely again if half of what I've heard is to be believed.

01:16:43And do come clean.

01:16:44Is it true about your gorgeous button?

01:16:46Did she really paint him in the...

01:16:48The altogether?

01:16:49Yeah.

01:16:52Absolutely full frontal.

01:16:54I must have it.

01:16:56I must have it.

01:16:58How much?

01:16:59When it comes on the market, I'll let you know.

01:17:01I don't care what price.

01:17:02I just want first refusal.

01:17:04It's already the world's most coveted painting, and nobody's even seen it.

01:17:09There you are, Leonard.

01:17:10What kept you?

01:17:11Well, I'll do the honours, William, dear boy.

01:17:16You might.

01:17:19You know what this has done, don't you, my dear?

01:17:21It's made us showbiz.

01:17:24Well, thank you.

01:17:30William?

01:17:33Down the hatch.

01:17:34Cheers.

01:17:35To us.

01:17:38To, if I may say, a genius.

01:17:42It was Ian who thought it all up.

01:17:43Oh, you're a dear little radio writer.

01:17:45I'm not talking about him, dear heart.

01:17:47In this house, lights under bushels are forbidden.

01:17:50It was your idea.

01:17:52I admit he worked well enough in the circumstances, but yours was the vision.

01:17:57For that's what you did that afternoon outside the bank.

01:17:59When I listened to the afternoon theatre.

01:18:00When you saw crime as drama and drama as crime, nothing will ever be the same again.

01:18:09I suppose that's true.

01:18:10We have entered a new age.

01:18:12Leonard, recharge the glasses.

01:18:14Steady now, not all over the carpet.

01:18:18I drink to you, William Masters, and to your success.

01:18:23Thank you very much.

01:18:25Well, my dear friend, whither now?

01:18:29Well, I'm not quite sure.

01:18:31I haven't had a chance to talk with Ian yet.

01:18:33Rodway?

01:18:33What's he got to do with anything, William?

01:18:36He's my script writer.

01:18:38Nonsense, dear heart.

01:18:39I mean, is he under contract?

01:18:42Did you promise to use him and him alone?

01:18:44No, but...

01:18:45But me?

01:18:46No buts, William.

01:18:48You've got a sweet, kind heart, and it does you credit,

01:18:51but there's one thing you have got to remember.

01:18:54You have made it.

01:18:55You are a star.

01:18:58People look up to you.

01:18:59They look up to you, my dear, and they'll want to copy you.

01:19:03Copy me?

01:19:04Oh, yes.

01:19:05Already the word's out.

01:19:06You'd be amazed.

01:19:06Only this afternoon I heard of a smash-and-grab man

01:19:09who wanted to put the entire writing team of Coronation Street under contract.

01:19:12Oh, Carol.

01:19:13I cross my heart.

01:19:15You have set the style for the next generation,

01:19:18but do you think that the kids who are looking to you, for an example,

01:19:21kids who are just coming out of approved school,

01:19:23will look up to a man who has his projects written by a radio writer?

01:19:27I don't have to tell you the answer, do I?

01:19:31Those kids have never heard of radio plays,

01:19:34let alone Mr. Ian Rodway.

01:19:36They'll expect to hear of you appearing in Harold Pinter, John Osborne,

01:19:39even Dennis Potter, but not Ian Rodway.

01:19:43Oh, my dear, that was yesterday's news.

01:19:47More champagne, dear boy.

01:19:52Cheers, baby.

01:19:57I'm sorry the boss couldn't make it, Button.

01:20:00Don't fret yourself, man.

01:20:02I guess all that success has gone to his head.

01:20:04Still, it was nice of him to send me the second half of the fee.

01:20:06It'll ease the strain for it, can't be.

01:20:08I was asked to go, too, but I said I'd come over and see you.

01:20:11Asked to go where?

01:20:12To the party at her place.

01:20:13Oh, Anna Bold, yes, I read about it.

01:20:17She really fell about when I told her that was her name in the script.

01:20:20She must have.

01:20:21She's a real cat, that one.

01:20:23You was wrong about one thing, though.

01:20:25It was masks that she dug.

01:20:27I just stood about while she did the painting.

01:20:29You know, they were as thick as...

01:20:31Thieves.

01:20:32Something like that.

01:20:33Did the boss send any message?

01:20:36No, but he said to keep in touch.

01:20:38That message I get, Lauren, to you.

01:20:41Well, I suppose I best be getting along.

01:20:45You know, my old lady...

01:20:47Ian, man, she's been giving me hell since I got back

01:20:51and she read about that picture of me.

01:20:53I won't tell you what she's calling it.

01:20:55Yeah.

01:20:56Cut along.

01:20:57Keep trucking, Ian.

01:20:59You're a pretty good writer.

01:21:00Yeah.

01:21:01And you, Button.

01:21:04Come on in, Ian, old heart.

01:21:07It's always good to see you.

01:21:08I was just passing by.

01:21:09Ah, well, you're lucky to find me, Ian.

01:21:11Must catch the bank before it closes.

01:21:13I was...

01:21:14I was wondering what was happening.

01:21:16Quiet, Ian.

01:21:17Things are very quiet.

01:21:19Everybody's sitting on their hands.

01:21:21That's about par for the course.

01:21:22What about fire tech?

01:21:24Funny you should mention them.

01:21:25I was on this morning.

01:21:27No, they've got all the scripts they need for this series.

01:21:29Fair enough.

01:21:30Well, how are you placed?

01:21:31Pretty free.

01:21:33Well, what about that play you had on the stocks?

01:21:36It's about a solicitor.

01:21:38More or less forgotten, eh?

01:21:40Oh.

01:21:41Well, they're always keen on another of your tight little thrillers, Ian.

01:21:43Are they?

01:21:44Well, I do have a play they might like.

01:21:46Jot it down.

01:21:48Just a couple of packs.

01:21:49It's already written.

01:21:50Oh, great.

01:21:51It's great.

01:21:52What's it about?

01:21:53Well, it's about this painter, you see, who's kidnapped by this bunch of...

01:21:55...by a gang and made to paint her own ransom.

01:21:58Oh, I wonder where you got that idea from.

01:22:05Well, as a matter of fact, I...

01:22:07Every writer in town had the same idea, Ian.

01:22:10No, no, no.

01:22:11You're too late, I'm afraid.

01:22:13Too late?

01:22:14They're doing a picture of it.

01:22:16Well, I know because I represent the writer they've got doing the script.

01:22:20I see.

01:22:25There is one thing that might just interest you.

01:22:27Oh?

01:22:28Yes, I had a bloke on the phone yesterday.

01:22:30Strange, really.

01:22:31I didn't really grasp what it was all about.

01:22:34He said he wanted a writer.

01:22:36What for?

01:22:36But he didn't say.

01:22:38A very gallbliny sort of accent.

01:22:41But he said he had the money and was in the market for ideas.

01:22:45Interested?

01:22:46I'll think about it.

01:22:47Well, do that, old son.

01:22:49Oh, look at the time.

01:22:51Look, I must get moving.

01:22:52I'll come down on the lift with you.

01:22:53We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

01:22:57Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams.

01:23:04I've got this fantastic idea.

01:23:05Are you there?

01:23:06It's really good.

01:23:08What?

01:23:08You have?

01:23:09Well, I think this.

01:23:11Yes, I understand.

01:23:13Hello?

01:23:14Is that the BBC drama, you've forgotten?

01:23:16I've got an idea.

01:23:17I think my team can ask you.

01:23:26In Plots Have I Laid by John Rollison, Masters was played by Alan Lake,

01:23:31Lou, Derek Newark, Button, Oscar James, and Fat Man, Roger Hammond.

01:23:37John Rollison played Ian Rodway, Rosalind Adams, his wife, Jean,

01:23:41and Gordon Reed, Rogers, his agent.

01:23:44Hetherington, Mitel Spice, Hilary, Teresa Stretfield, Jed, Hayden Wood, and Baird, John Church.

01:23:52Plots Have I Laid was directed by Peter King.

01:23:55Derek Newark is a national theatre player.

01:24:11And Plots Have I Laid can be heard again on Monday afternoon at two minutes past three.

01:24:16Plots Have I Laid

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended